Top Stories
These Fathers-In-Law Are The Worst Of All Time

These Fathers-In-Law Are The Worst Of All Time

Family camping

The Worst 'Throw Them In The Deep End' Parenting Style Horror Stories

These Rude Jerks Got Humbled BIG Time

These Rude Jerks Got Humbled BIG Time

The Best Customer Service 'Gotchas'

The Best Customer Service 'Gotchas'

My Best Friend Betrayed Me

My Best Friend Betrayed Me

People Share The Furthest They've Ever Gone To Prove Their Point

People Share The Furthest They've Ever Gone To Prove Their Point
www.thebluediamondgallery.com

We always want to be right. Some people take being right far more seriously than others.

And those people may do something over the line, crazy, or completely out of left field in order to prove their own points and show just how right they are.

If you've ever been at the receiving end of one of these, get ready for even more secondhand embarrassment.

u/Sextuple_Pog asked:

What was the furthest you've gone, just to prove your point?

Here were some of those answers.


New Skillz

I struggled to get something I needed from another coworker (CAD design drawings) and it was taking months. I told him that I could go to night school and learn AutoCAD and do it myself in the time it would take him to get the drawings back to me. He said whatever.

So I went to night class, learned AutoCAD, produced my own drawings, and cut him out of the equation. A few months later he was fired, I guess other employees were having the same difficulty.

RogerPackinrod

Gathering Data

I threw a bottle into the recycling. Dickhead co-worker said that particular bottle was trash and not recyclable.

I was rippin' pissed and was gonna prove his dumbass wrong.

Contacted the manufacturer of the bottle who confirmed it was recyclable. Then looked up the plastic code on my recyclings county's website to confirm it was recyclable in our area.

Printed both out stapled together and hung it on the wall next to the recycling can.

Ghostspider1989

Years Gone

Years ago I told my wife I wanted to create a home media room in the basement with a really big TV and premium sound system, etc, the whole works. Problem was the basement was undeveloped. She said sure, you can have that - but you have to develop the basement yourself. She knew full well I had exactly zero knowledge of anything to do with that, and was therefore smugly assuming I would give up on the idea.

I did not. Instead, I spent the next 18 months of my life down in that basement every day after work and all weekend long. Framed it, wired it, ran the plumbing, hung the drywall (okay I did hire out the mudding and taping), put down the Lino and the carpet, installed the cabinets, all the plumbing, all the painting, you name it. And I took my time and did it right, so that when it was done it was close to the same quality as if I had had it professionally developed.

The home theatre — which I bought and had set up by a high end retailer — was awesome.

Naturally, we moved a year later.

moirende

Two Unstoppable Wants To Be Right

As a teenager, I went to the movies. Movie ends, I called my mom to come pick me up.

My mom's young (comparatively) and pretty playful. I was standing outside the movie theater and she decided to drive really close to me to try and freak me out. One of my feet was sticking out further than the other, and she drove over my foot.

I opened the door and gave her the what-for. She told me she couldn't have run my foot over because it would have been broken. I told her she absolutely did. And to prove that you can have your foot run over and not break, I stuck my foot under the wheel of the car and told her to run it over again. She did, my foot was fine (if a bit sore, considering).

HelpfulCherry

Rocks Without Borders

I kayaked a mile across open water to and island in the great lakes to get one rock. And now I can say I was an illegal immigrant to Canada for like thirty minutes.

GiveItMoreGasBuhh

Hopefully All Lessons Were Learned

This is a story my family tells all the time.

I was seven, I think, and we were on our way home from a visit to the Badlands of South Dakota. We stopped at Wall Drug to gas up and grab snacks. When we got back into our camper van, I noticed that my younger brother (five years old) wasn't with us.

No problem. I'll just tell Mom and Dad. But all of us kids had been utter jerks the entire day, so they weren't listening to any of us. I was told to "sit down, buckle up, and shut up."

So I did. We got all the way to Sturgis, SD. That's nearly 100 miles away. My mom turned around to ask if anyone needed to use the toilet. That's when she had her "Kevin!" moment. (His name is Bruce, but you get the point I'm sure.)

When they asked me why I didn't tell them my brother wasn't in the car, I patiently explained that they told me to shut up. So I did.


Those were the days before cell phones, so my parents had to call Wall Drug to ask if they'd found a five year old boy. They had, and he was at some police station (I can't remember exactly where). He had actually started running out toward the highway when thankfully some adult saw him and dragged him back to the store, kicking and screaming (my brother was a scrappy little dude).

So we went there to pick up my brother from the police. His trauma was minimal. They'd kept him happy with ice cream and even let him sit in a jail cell with bars and everything. I vaguely remember even being a little jealous of him.

The totally unfair thing, though, was that my parents were more angry at me for not telling them than they were with him for wandering off. And worst of all, they didn't even consider it their own fault- which I adamantly insisted was the case of course.

So to answer the question: About 180 miles. That's the furthest I've gone just to prove a point.

lendergle

911 Dispatchers Share The Most Ridiculous Calls They've Ever Received | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

What's On The Menu

Not me, but my mother in law. Her husband passed away long before I was part of the family, and I would have loved to hear his side of this story, but anyways.

He really didn't like eating healthy. I've been told the closest he got to eating fruit was gummy fruit snacks, and vegetables? Forget about it. Well anyways, they adopted my husband and my brother in law, and MiL really, really started pushing him to eat greens and veggies. "If you don't eat them, neither will the kids! You need to model healthy eating habits."


He refused. This went on for months and months. They got into a big fight about it and he said, "I'd sooner eat moldy green roadkill than spinach and broccoli!"

So the next night at dinner time, MiL went out into their driveway, where she had run over and killed a frog the previous day. She puts this squished, dead frog on his plate, then serves it to him at dinner time.

"Okay. I see your point. I'll eat the salad."

MusicalMelfree15

Hustlers (2019)

I was 21 and at a club and told my friend I could dance better than the go-go dancers. Got a phone number to call from a bouncer and told someone named Barbie I wanted to audition.

8 months later, I was about to graduate for college, and I got an email saying they were holding auditions. I've commited to the bit this far, so I go to the auditions and completely bomb it. I'm only good at dancing to songs I actually like and the boots they dance in are heavy af. I have a lot of respect for professional dancers.

onlyhappyth1ngs

Why Not Start A Fire To Prove It

My ex was making popcorn and went to push the popcorn button on the microwave. I told him that the button is bull and will burn the popcorn. He didn't believe me so we argued and finally I said just push the button and we'll see. So we wait and I can smell the popcorn burning but I don't stop the microwave because I'm so mad. It eventually stop and he takes the bag out, there was a hole burnt into the bottom of the bag and the popcorn was very burnt. Then he got mad at me for not stopping the microwave.

It took me forever to clean the microwave but it was worth it. We broke up soon after.

fromtheashtree91

99 Bottles Of Milk

"You're not getting this bottle of milk until you stop screaming."

74 minutes. Never, ever, underestimate the appetite for conflict of a two-year old.

ReplicatedPenguin

prove a point

Guys Break Down Why Their Last Partner Broke Up With Them

Reddit user GreekRifle asked: 'Men, why did your last girlfriend dump you?'

Silhouette of a man sitting by the ocean looking at his phone
Photo by Stefan Spassov on Unsplash

A breakup is never easy.

Even so, it is sometimes the only solution when one, or both, members of a couple realize that their relationship simply isn't meant to be.

Sometimes, pinpointing what went wrong in a relationship is difficult that and even years later you still can't find a single reason.

Other times, however, why a relationship came to an end is made abundantly clear by your former partner, sometimes letting you down easily, other times not mincing word one bit.

Redditor GreekRifle was curious to hear from the men of Reddit why their partners chose to end their relationships, leading them to ask:

"Men, why did your last girlfriend dump you?"

A Love That Will Never Die...

"She was in love with her gay best friend."- Lucius_Funk

Communication Is Key

"We didn’t really get each other communication-wise."- heyitsvonage

Too Close To Home...

"Because my mother died of a terminal illness and she had (unbeknownst to me) breast cancer."

"I think she knew it would have wrecked me all over again."- fdxfgyhers

To Love Another, You Must Also Love Yourself.

"I didn't take care of myself."

"I degraded to a state that made me boot worthy"- ToeKnail

Did You Hear That?

"Because I was a sh*tty listener."

"I immediately went and bought and read 4 books on listening."

"I won’t have that happen again."- awerwe4yuti

A Very Important Decision

"She wanted children, I did not."

"We kinda dumped each other for the best, but she took more initiative to see it through."- BrukaAllvar

Wasn't Meant To Last

"Both of us were busy with school and work and so we were spending less time together than usual."

"Around a month into this, she decided that the relationship had gone stale and we should break up."

"I'm not gonna pretend like it was only her fault, cus I only realized how stale our relationship had gotten when she texted me to ask for a breakup."

"I did offer to try and salvage it all, but she turned that idea down pretty quickly."

"Like half a year later she called me in a drunken state and asked if I want to hook up with her."- Phoenix_BFN

On To Better Things... Or Not...

"We were 19 (her) and 22 (me)."

"She decided she wanted to date her coworker."

"A 37 year old pizza delivery guy who lived with his mom and had 2 kids from a previous marriage that he admittedly screwed up."

"They ended up getting married, she was the primary/only breadwinner for awhile because he got fired and then just kinda never tried getting hired again."

"They eventually split up because I think he cheated on her and she tried reaching out to me on Facebook and through mutual friends."

"Yeah………no thanks."

"By then I was married to the love of my life, had 3 kids, a career, just bought a house and adopted a dipsh*t husky from the pound."

"I’m good."- Thebaldsasquatch

"The dude she'd liked for many many years who always told her no when she asked him out realized he could very well lose her to me and said If she wanted to date him he'd go for it now."

"She left me, 4 months later she married him, and now 13 years later is IIRC Divorced from him."

"Jokes on her though, 6 months after we broke up I started dating a friend of mine, we dated for 2 years (compared to 2 months with the ex) and then we got married, and we just had our 11th wedding anniversary in august."

"We have a 4 year old son and every aspect of our relationship is way way better than my relationship with the ex."-evileyeball

It's Complicated...

"She stated that we were headed in different directions."

"She said she still loved me but couldn’t do the relationship anymore as she was 'dragging me down'."

"She was dealing with something that she just couldn’t deal with while being in a relationship with me."

" All of these are reasons she gave me the day we broke up."

"I truly hadn’t seen this happening as we had been talking about marriage."

"She had brought it up and then a month later she asked to go on a two week break, then asked to end the break early because she didn’t want to loose me."

"Less than a week later we broke up because she 'just couldn’t do this anymore'."

"All in all I suppose I don’t know."

"I thought we would spend our lives together, and she had told me constantly that was what she wanted."

"Then one day I suppose she woke up and decided we were over."

"I don’t hold any resentment towards her, and I wouldn’t ask her to explain why."

"Sometimes you fall in love just to fall out of it."

"Other times you find the right person at the wrong time, it really doesn’t matter."

"I hope she finds the right person for her, and I know I’ll keep on moving forward til the day I can’t."- RansomTheTrees

There's No Place Like Home...

"She realized, that she stopped being happy to come home and found things to do to stay out."

"I wanted to end the relationship on the very same day or wanted to have a talk, so not too bad of a break up."- Resident-Worry-2403

Anyone's Guess

"Ask her."

"Really I don't know why she broke up with me."- frogmicky

Ironically, It's Wrong To Always Need To Be Right...

"Wasn’t mature enough to put her feelings before my position in an argument."

"Unfortunately had to learn to be a better person at the expense of an innocent person."- kitchensclosed

Everyone Deserves A Second Chance...

"Because I was a sh*tty person."

"And I wish I hadn't been, but I became a good one after that and regret it cost someone so much."- Skelegasm

It's hard to come to terms with ending things with someone you thought you loved.

Yet, better to have had that love then to never love at all.


break up

People Who Won In Court But Lost In The Court Of Public Opinion

man in black shirt sitting beside woman in white shirt
Photo by Saúl Bucio on Unsplash

Both the justice system and the rumor mill are known to run rampant at times. That's why a person can win their court case but still lose in the court of public opinion.

Sometimes, a person is falsely accused of a crime they did not commit, or are ridiculed for suing a person or company for what the public feels is unnecessary. Those people may win their case, but the public opinion of these people who did nothing wrong is ruined.

Other times, those who are clearly guilty are acquitted of a crime. They technically won their court case, but they never stop being ridiculed or harrassed for being let go after committing a crime.

Redditors know stories like these all too well and are ready to shed some light.

It all started when Redditor ibuiltyouarosegarden asked:

"Who won in court BUT lost in the “court of public opinion?"

Not As Sweet As Aunt Jemima

"Jennifer Connell was called the worst aunt ever and the “aunt from hell” for suing her nephew. Her nephew basically jumped into her arms and the extra physical affection broke her arm. Became a really big deal when it happened. Thing is, she needed to name a person at fault for her injury for her insurance and named her nephew with his parents’ permission. She wasn’t actually suing her nephew, just getting insurance money so she could be treated."

– BlackDwarfStar

Falsely Accused

"Richard Jewell, the man falsely accused of the Centennial Olympic Park Bombings in Atlanta in 1996. He was a security guard and saved dozens of lives by spotting the bomb and clearing spectators. The FBI noted him as a person of interest, and his name was dragged through the mud by local and national media. While the FBI stopped investigating Jewell by October of that year, it wasn’t until a couple of years later that his name was truly cleared when Eric Rudolph, the actual bomber, was caught."

"Jewell sued a number of media outlets and settled with a few of them for an undisclosed amount."

– Bepus

Awful City

"The city of New London in Kelo v City of New London. The city was using the eminent domain to remove a nice lady from her home to build shopping complex. Made its way to the supreme Court and a 5 v 4 decision won and Kelo lost her home to provide economic opportunities. High profile case where the public sided with Kelo but the courts sided with the city."

– 360gamefreak

Her Name Is Everywhere

"Monica Lewinsky. She "won" in court because she wasn't the person on trial. The power dynamics also weren't in her favor. He was her boss. But yet, we still call it "the Monica Lewinsky" scandal and her name is still brought up in derogatory ways after all these years."

– littleirishpixie

Lesson Never Learned

"The woman who won a damages settlement from McDonald’s for being burned by overly hot coffee. It was dangerously hot and they’d been warned before and paid medical bills by court order over other burns, but because she got a high payout over something as seemingly trivial as coffee, she’s labeled litigious and dramatic. The burns were awful. And by the way, McDonald’s still has coffee that’s dangerously hot; they were in the news a week or two ago for another burn case."

– ExplosiveRaddish

"Stella Liebeck. She won in the infamous Stella Liebeck v. McDonald’s. She suffered third-degree burns after accidentally spilling coffee on herself, resulting in over a week in the hospital, skin grafting, and two years of medical treatment."

"She only sought payment for the medical expenses from McDonald’s, but they refused, so she sued. Even though she won, the media made her incident out to be a simple coffee burn that was entirely due to her own negligence (eg. Some claimed she spilled it while driving; however, she was actually parked when it happened). She was 79-years-old at the time of the incident."

"She proceeded to receive death threats for the rest of her life due to people thinking she was “abusing the system”. Really sad stuff."

– SauceThatsGoated

Yikes!

"John Delorean, he was set up by the FBI and his case is the reason for the term entrapment. He was acquitted of all charges."

""DeLorean needed $17 million to save his company from collapse. To this end, he spent much of 1982 desperately seeking investors for his failing company."

"He was approached by one such investor named James Hoffman on June 28, 1982, who claimed to have a business opportunity to help save DeLorean’s company."

"Unknown to DeLorean, James Hoffman was actually a convicted drug smuggler, who, in exchange for leniency, struck a deal with federal authorities to become an informant.""

– ChippyVonMaker

​Trial Of The Century

"O.J. Simpson. In 1995, Simpson was acquitted of the murders of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ron Goldman. However, many people believed that Simpson was guilty, and he was widely ostracized after the trial."

– Arisu_tanaka69

What Really Happened?

"Lizzie Borden."

"Legally innocent of axing her parents, but ostracized by her community as everyone knew her factually guilty."

– NerdNuncle

A Huge Upset

"George Zimmerman/"

"The jurors basically said he got away with murder."

– stealthkoopa

Extremely Disappointing

"Congressman Gary Condit who was wrongfully accused of killing his affair partner Chandra Levy. Her body was found a year after she went missing in Rock Creek Park in Washington DC. Condit was innocent but lost his bid for re-election because of the accusations."

– ninasymone44

Are there any we should add to the list? Let us know in the comment below.

court

People Break Down The Most Unexpected Sexual Encounters They've Had

A man and woman naked and snuggling
Photo by Dainis Graveris

Sex is natural, sex is fun.

So sayeth the great George Micahel.

Spontaneous lovemaking leaves a lasting impression.

Or at least a great ten minutes.

Redditor hockeysmyh*e wanted to hear about all the times sex came as a surprise, so they asked:

"What is the most unexpected time you’ve ever had sex?"

One day in college... all it took...

Me on one escalator.

Him on another.

One wink.

Nerves

Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy

"After what I thought was a horrible 1st date. She was on her phone literally the entire time. When we get to her house she says 'Wanna come inside?' Turns out, she was just nervous on the date."

earic23

Questions Answered

"I was a very young-looking 22-year-old volunteering at a film festival as community service for a reckless driving ticket."

"One of the filmmakers visiting from another country who was around 30 started talking to me and she kept asking me weird questions like what year I graduated high school and whether I liked certain 15-year-old music."

"I was like this chick is weird, but then she said do you live around here, we went back to my apt and ended up having sex. Afterward, I was like - why did you ask me all those weird questions? And she said, 'I was trying to figure out if you were old enough!'"

"We ended up hanging out the whole week and then she went back home and that was it. Good times."

kaspm

And Nothing Else...

"I was at a hotel in college with a bunch of other college kids and a bunch of us were in one room drinking. I had to go to the bathroom but someone was using the one where we were. I said I was going back to my room to use that one and also to get some more beer. A girl in the group asked if she could come with me. When I came out of the bathroom she was wearing one of my t-shirts. And nothing else. I did not go back to the party room with more beer."

Amesb34r

Right Then and There...

"I got late-night sushi with a friend. She treated me since I was going through a nasty breakup. After a few sakes, we began to head out. She grabbed me by the sleeve and pulled me into the bathroom. She began hard-core kissing me and we ended up having sex right then and there."

topherthepest

Gor For It

like a virgin madonna GIFGiphy

"Gondola lift going up a mountain in Switzerland. My wife and we’re backpacking for 21 days around Europe and unexpectedly found ourselves alone on the gondola. We just looked at each other, smiled, and went for it. Fantastic experience."

​CBus-Eagle

That gondola must have had might strong cables!

New bucket list item.

Burn Off

So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy

"Against the side of my boyfriend’s house while his family ate dinner inside."

"He wanted to take me up to his room, his parents said no, so he said we were going for a walk instead. Burn off some energy. It was surprisingly great."

whitneywestmoreland

'Ayyyy'

"For the record, I'm the most oblivious person ever. But a friend of mine invited me to attend her yoga class with her. I didn't think about it at the time but she was giving me a lot of hands-on attention and help. We went back to her place afterward and walked and talked on a Greenway near her house."

"She said something along the lines of 'I'll tell you a secret if you tell me one' and I said some s**t about not believing in myself and she told me she was 'trying to get f**ked tonight.'"

"I didn't realize she meant by me but as a joke, I said 'Ayyyy' like I was Fonzy or something and put my arm around her. The next thing I know she's putting her tongue in my mouth, I realized that I'm brain dead, and things progressed from there."

slaughterpuss25

Pillow Fight

"I went over to a friend's house. She and I had been friends since elementary school and never took it further than that because we had no interest in it. Anywho, we were watching TV in the living room having a fun debate back and forth and she threw a pillow at me so I threw it back at her and it started a pillow fight, she grabbed me and tried to take the pillow from me."

"We were not extremely close to each other and we noticed it and looked at each other...i t then turned into sex in the living room, leading into her bedroom. Afterward, we laid in bed and talked for a while and then it continued for several years. Now we’re married with two kids."

Metalblacksheep

NOW!!

"When my wife and I were dating, she drove a friend out of town to see her husband, who was just completing boot camp, and I tagged along for the weekend. We spent that 1st night in the same room, with us in one bed and the friend in the other. I wasn't expecting anything, seeing as how we had someone 'THISCLOSE' to us, but after we thought the friend fell asleep, my wife started kissing and groping me."

"She said she wanted it, but I resisted. After a couple more minutes, she finally just flat-out said 'Do Me. Now.' It was the most unexpected, slowest, quietest, and hottest sex ever. The next day, the friend made a comment that she couldn't sleep because we were moving around too much. She knew."

cb0044

The Crush

Alicia Silverstone Flirting GIFGiphy

"In the car with a co-worker who was driving me home. I admitted to another co-worker that I had an extreme crush on this girl. What I didn't know was that she immediately told her about my crush."

"So when she offered to drive me home (I always walked, it was only a couple of miles) I thought she was just being nice and taking me home... lol."

Real_Bug

Clearly we all need to be reading the signs and signals.

We miss out on so much.

unexpected sexual encounters

The Weirdest Things Medical Professionals Have Casually Said To A Patient

Female patient cringing while listening to doctor
Photo by CDC on Unsplash

Though it may not occur to us, the longer we work in a field, the more we distance ourselves from the public perception of it.

Doctors are a great example of this, as they may forget what it's like to be a patient without deep medical knowledge when they're going through something troubling.

Because of this, sometimes doctors make out-of-touch comments that feel totally mundane to them, but the patient listening may find the comment to be incredibly inconsiderate or even alarming.

Curious about others' experiences, Redditor CR24752 asked:

"What's the weirdest thing a medical professional has casually said to you?"

Thanks for the Complex

"When I was like 20, my endocrinologist took a good look at me and asked, 'Are you okay with your face being so asymmetrical?'"

"I had never really noticed it before, but boy have I noticed it since!"

- Fragrant-Opinion2021

A Dental Prodigy

"When I was 12, I had a dentist say, 'Hold on, I think I might be counting wrong, you shouldn't have those yet... Okay, never mind, those are definitely your wisdom teeth. Your mouth is just huge, I guess.'"

"They then said I was the youngest they'd ever seen anyone get their wisdom teeth. So much so, they called in every dentist in the building to come to look at my mouth."

- kodlab115

Not That Funny

"Following a checkup... They said, 'We're going to have to remove your testicles... Just kidding, you should've seen your face.'"

- realpren

Highly Memorable

​"After destroying my knee riding BMX at 17, the emergency surgeon said, 'Wow, really f**ked that up.'"

"10 years later and after another serious knee injury from riding, I saw the same surgeon (he did a great job on the first one)."

"The first words out of his mouth were, 'I remember you. F**ked up the other one, huh?'"

- brianbmx94

"I like this guy. He waited 10 years for that moment."

- forestNargacuga

"D**n, I don’t know how I’d feel knowing I f**ked up enough to be remembered by an emergency surgeon."

- Reins22

"Not great, lol (laughing out loud). I literally 'broke' my knee 90 degrees sideways. It had to be forced straight (by him), and then we immediately went into surgery to repair basically every ligament and piece of soft tissue in there. Lucky I didn’t get a fake knee at 17 from that one."

- brianbmx94

"Since I'm not sure which knee this was, I just griped both of mine in horror, just to be safe. Hope that's cool."

- boobookenny

Not in Favor of Being Tall

"Back pain, I’m not young. The doctor just said basically, 'Well, that’s just life for you. You’re tall.'"

"'So I’m just going to end up being a hunched over 90-year-old?'"

"'Lol (laughing out loud), you’re not going to see 90.'"

"'Um… pardon?'"

"'How many tall old people have you ever seen?'"

"'Oh… yeah… okay.'"

- The_Town_of_Canada

"Oof. Unfortunately, he has a point. For a while, I knew a guy who was over six foot, five inches, and worked as a genetic counselor."

"One time we were chatting and he just casually mentioned that he wasn’t expecting to get terribly old. He knew the statistics because of his job, and the odds are not good for people over six feet."

"On the other hand, that’s just averages, not an individual outcome. Plenty of short people die in car accidents in their twenties, and plenty of tall people live well into old age."

- Should_be_less

Textbook Anomaly Examples

"The doctor said, 'If you don’t mind, I’d like to show everyone pictures of your tonsils.'"

"According to her, I had the most disgusting tonsils she had ever seen in her years in the business, and gosh darn, she wanted to show them off."

- Old_Army90

"I had a similar experience at a dentist. I apparently had a very rare problem and even the oldest doctor only had seen this two times in his life. For the next few sessions, all other doctors were called in and he showed them it."

"I was fine with it, but it was an odd situation sitting on the dentist's chair while four doctors and a few nurses were around you and looked very interested in what would happen next."

"So I was the real-life example for a textbook lecture."

- memesforbismarck

Not Answering the Same Question

"A nurse of some kind took my blood pressure. He said what the numbers were."

"I asked, 'Is that good?'"

"He said, 'I’m not qualified to give you a professional opinion on the matter. You should ask your doctor.'"

"I asked, 'But like, unprofessionally, is that good?'"

"He said, 'Unprofessionally? Well, in my purely personal opinion that I am sharing with you as an individual and not in any medical or official capacity whatsoever, you should buy stronger deodorant.'"

"For clarity, I was definitely stinky, I was homeless at the time. I was well aware of this fact. If you’re worried you’re a little funky, don’t. You would almost assuredly notice if you smelled really bad."

- InABoxOfEmptyShells

Already an Awkward Enough Situation

"'You just hang on right there; we will get you a wheelchair and admitted to the hospital. We have to do a colonoscopy, but don’t worry, I will knock you out before sticking a camera up your a**.'"

- MacDugin

"My GI (Gastroenterologist) doctor was named (no lie) Dr. Stiff. After my last colonoscopy, he told me in the recovery room: 'Well, that’s the last time you’re getting Stiffed. I’m retiring at the end of the year.'"

- mum2girls

"I appreciate people who turn their names into verbs."

- Nike-6

Pregnancy Talk

"I told an OB-GYN during an exam that my husband and I had just started trying to get pregnant, and she said, 'Are you tracking your cycle or just f**king all time?'"

"Hearing that come out of a small elderly woman was freaking hilarious! She was close to retirement and had zero filter, and now I miss her!"

- WiscoCheeses

"My OB-GYN told me that I had a wonderful uterus, just after he commented how cute my socks were."

- sarcastic_whatever

Awkward...

"'My son is about your age and single, do you want his number?'"

"This was said by my Gynecologist..."

- My_dal

Oh No, Not Like That

"My previous OB-GYN came through my line at my old job. For some reason, I blanked on who he was. Like, I knew I knew him, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember how."

"He saw I was struggling and said, 'Don't remember me? I'll give you a hint: last time I saw you, you were in my office with your ankles in the air!'"

"He said this loudly, in front of a line of little old ladies fresh from church, wanting to buy flowers from the garden center."

"He was an amazing doctor and figured out what was wrong with me when no other doctor could, but in that moment, the embarrassment could have killed me lol (laughing out loud)."

- Marauder424

"Being a knowledgeable, and even brilliant, doctor and being completely socially inept often go hand in hand."

- OpalRose1993

The Silver Lining

"I had a doctor tell me that my metabolism is so slow that I would do very well in an apocalypse."

- Rosemary324

"My doctor told me this when he noticed my chronic low body temperature and asked me other questions about weight gain and pooping frequency."

"He said, 'Some people are just built to hibernate. You're just, like, hibernating all the time.'"

"This was in the same conversation where he diagnosed me with a sleep disorder too. I can't even hibernate properly."

- wheatgrass_feetgrass

Such a Cool Moment

"I was getting my blood drawn for a mono test back around 2006. The older lady nurse asked me what sort of music I liked."

"I figured she was making small talk to get my mind off the needles, so I rattled off a few bands I’d been listening to."

"One of them happens to be Postal Service. She said, 'Oh, I know that one!'"

"I replied, 'Yeah, it’s the same lead singer as Death Cab for Cutie.'"

"She said, 'I know. He’s my son.'"

- piconese

"'Such Great Heights' is one of my top 10 favorite songs of all time. How cool."

- subieluvr22

"Yeah, I still love Postal Service. She was very nice, and I said something along the lines of, 'You must be so proud!'"

"I just really hope I meet Ben Gibbard someday so I can tell him that his mom took my blood, lol (laughing out loud)."

- piconese

Only in Ireland

"I live in Ireland, the surgeon who replaced my hip is also a farmer."

"The day before I was due to be discharged, he came in on his rounds, and he said, 'I may or may not see you tomorrow, it depends on the dog.'"

"So I said, 'Okay, what’s up with the dog?'"

"He told me the dog broke his leg and was having it set tomorrow, but he wasn’t sure what time, so I said, 'Sure, bring in the old dog, and I’ll mind him' (this is rural Ireland bear in mind and I was in the convalescent area of the hospital by then)."

"Shortly after breakfast the next day, he arrived in with the dog, a lovely border collie with his leg in plaster. He stayed with me watching TV until he doctor was finished replacing another person's hip and was ready to discharge me and we could all go home."

"It could only happen in Ireland."

- Rosieapples

From funny to wildly awkward, most of these comments were at least funny enough that someone could share them at a gathering for a good laugh from the crowd.

A few were alarming, however, and definite reasons for people to want to switch doctors.

doctor stories