We always want to be right. Some people take being right far more seriously than others.
And those people may do something over the line, crazy, or completely out of left field in order to prove their own points and show just how right they are.
If you've ever been at the receiving end of one of these, get ready for even more secondhand embarrassment.
Here were some of those answers.
I struggled to get something I needed from another coworker (CAD design drawings) and it was taking months. I told him that I could go to night school and learn AutoCAD and do it myself in the time it would take him to get the drawings back to me. He said whatever.
So I went to night class, learned AutoCAD, produced my own drawings, and cut him out of the equation. A few months later he was fired, I guess other employees were having the same difficulty.
I threw a bottle into the recycling. Dickhead co-worker said that particular bottle was trash and not recyclable.
I was rippin' pissed and was gonna prove his dumbass wrong.
Contacted the manufacturer of the bottle who confirmed it was recyclable. Then looked up the plastic code on my recyclings county's website to confirm it was recyclable in our area.
Printed both out stapled together and hung it on the wall next to the recycling can.
Years ago I told my wife I wanted to create a home media room in the basement with a really big TV and premium sound system, etc, the whole works. Problem was the basement was undeveloped. She said sure, you can have that - but you have to develop the basement yourself. She knew full well I had exactly zero knowledge of anything to do with that, and was therefore smugly assuming I would give up on the idea.
I did not. Instead, I spent the next 18 months of my life down in that basement every day after work and all weekend long. Framed it, wired it, ran the plumbing, hung the drywall (okay I did hire out the mudding and taping), put down the Lino and the carpet, installed the cabinets, all the plumbing, all the painting, you name it. And I took my time and did it right, so that when it was done it was close to the same quality as if I had had it professionally developed.
The home theatre — which I bought and had set up by a high end retailer — was awesome.
Naturally, we moved a year later.
Two Unstoppable Wants To Be Right
As a teenager, I went to the movies. Movie ends, I called my mom to come pick me up.
My mom's young (comparatively) and pretty playful. I was standing outside the movie theater and she decided to drive really close to me to try and freak me out. One of my feet was sticking out further than the other, and she drove over my foot.
I opened the door and gave her the what-for. She told me she couldn't have run my foot over because it would have been broken. I told her she absolutely did. And to prove that you can have your foot run over and not break, I stuck my foot under the wheel of the car and told her to run it over again. She did, my foot was fine (if a bit sore, considering).
Rocks Without Borders
I kayaked a mile across open water to and island in the great lakes to get one rock. And now I can say I was an illegal immigrant to Canada for like thirty minutes.
Hopefully All Lessons Were Learned
This is a story my family tells all the time.
I was seven, I think, and we were on our way home from a visit to the Badlands of South Dakota. We stopped at Wall Drug to gas up and grab snacks. When we got back into our camper van, I noticed that my younger brother (five years old) wasn't with us.
No problem. I'll just tell Mom and Dad. But all of us kids had been utter jerks the entire day, so they weren't listening to any of us. I was told to "sit down, buckle up, and shut up."
So I did. We got all the way to Sturgis, SD. That's nearly 100 miles away. My mom turned around to ask if anyone needed to use the toilet. That's when she had her "Kevin!" moment. (His name is Bruce, but you get the point I'm sure.)
When they asked me why I didn't tell them my brother wasn't in the car, I patiently explained that they told me to shut up. So I did.
Those were the days before cell phones, so my parents had to call Wall Drug to ask if they'd found a five year old boy. They had, and he was at some police station (I can't remember exactly where). He had actually started running out toward the highway when thankfully some adult saw him and dragged him back to the store, kicking and screaming (my brother was a scrappy little dude).
So we went there to pick up my brother from the police. His trauma was minimal. They'd kept him happy with ice cream and even let him sit in a jail cell with bars and everything. I vaguely remember even being a little jealous of him.
The totally unfair thing, though, was that my parents were more angry at me for not telling them than they were with him for wandering off. And worst of all, they didn't even consider it their own fault- which I adamantly insisted was the case of course.
So to answer the question: About 180 miles. That's the furthest I've gone just to prove a point.
911 Dispatchers Share The Most Ridiculous Calls They've Ever Received | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
What's On The Menu
Not me, but my mother in law. Her husband passed away long before I was part of the family, and I would have loved to hear his side of this story, but anyways.
He really didn't like eating healthy. I've been told the closest he got to eating fruit was gummy fruit snacks, and vegetables? Forget about it. Well anyways, they adopted my husband and my brother in law, and MiL really, really started pushing him to eat greens and veggies. "If you don't eat them, neither will the kids! You need to model healthy eating habits."
He refused. This went on for months and months. They got into a big fight about it and he said, "I'd sooner eat moldy green roadkill than spinach and broccoli!"
So the next night at dinner time, MiL went out into their driveway, where she had run over and killed a frog the previous day. She puts this squished, dead frog on his plate, then serves it to him at dinner time.
"Okay. I see your point. I'll eat the salad."
I was 21 and at a club and told my friend I could dance better than the go-go dancers. Got a phone number to call from a bouncer and told someone named Barbie I wanted to audition.
8 months later, I was about to graduate for college, and I got an email saying they were holding auditions. I've commited to the bit this far, so I go to the auditions and completely bomb it. I'm only good at dancing to songs I actually like and the boots they dance in are heavy af. I have a lot of respect for professional dancers.
Why Not Start A Fire To Prove It
My ex was making popcorn and went to push the popcorn button on the microwave. I told him that the button is bull and will burn the popcorn. He didn't believe me so we argued and finally I said just push the button and we'll see. So we wait and I can smell the popcorn burning but I don't stop the microwave because I'm so mad. It eventually stop and he takes the bag out, there was a hole burnt into the bottom of the bag and the popcorn was very burnt. Then he got mad at me for not stopping the microwave.
It took me forever to clean the microwave but it was worth it. We broke up soon after.
99 Bottles Of Milk
"You're not getting this bottle of milk until you stop screaming."
74 minutes. Never, ever, underestimate the appetite for conflict of a two-year old.
Most people have friends they've been close to for most of their lives.
But at the same time, friends evolve, and everyone finds themselves losing touch with any number of people they at one point considered their friends over time.
Most of the time, this isn't intentional, but just simply happens.
On rare occasions though, people might realize that their friends were not exactly who they thought they were, and didn't like who they revealed themselves to be.
Redditor One-Refrigerator69 was curious to hear stories of people who realized their friends were not exactly the nicest people to be around, leading them to ask:
"When was the moment you realized that your friends are assholes?"
Compared to others...
"When I started hanging out with better people."- Darklink326
All it took was getting my life together
"When I quit drinking ‘cos it was killing me."
"There were people I literally saw every single day who just disappeared as if by magic."
"12 years ago this week, as it happens."
"I’m not anti-drink, far from it."
"Some people, me included, just can’t enjoy it without it becoming a problem."
"Everyone is different."- bigdaftgeordie
A little perspective goes a long way.
"After I realized that other people don't sh*t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."- ViscousPlatemanThe Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Lack of respect for other people's things
"I let my friend borrow my ps2 when I went to boot camp."
"When I came back, he said he sold it and gave me $50 I think?"
"This was in 2006."- madmike-86
Lack of mutual respect
"When he does sh*t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, then I do the same back and he gets offended."- Primary-Maybe-2749·
Constantly being taken advantage of.
"They only bothered with me when it suited them."
"I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."- zombi33mjhappy eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy
When they literally revealed themselves to be criminals
"When they robbed me at gunpoint."- Ok_Student8032
When they stopped liking them after a change of situation
"Fourth grade, when my parents economical situation went downhill and suddenly no one invited me to their birthday party."
"Until Seven years later no one had never invited me to their birthday, or to anything at all actually."- Justalittletoserious
Not being able to get a word in...
"When they tell me to shut up when I say anything."- the_golden_cheesela respuesta GIF by Becky GGiphy
Violently playing with emotions
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions, telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc, and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly."
"One night I was crying on the phone cause I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bullsh*t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call, because I didn't get it and I was so upset."
"I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."- Juliemj
It's always sad when our friends disappoint us.
But when our friends proved to be completely different people than we thought they were, it can be devastating.
As the saying goes, one never truly knows who their friends are.
When visiting any foreign country, one should always be familiar with the laws and customs of the land.
After all, what might be generally accepted on your home turf, might be frowned upon, if not illegal, elsewhere.
For that matter, even locals might need a refresher course on what they can and can't do while at home.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear what tourists and locals alike should avoid doing in the USA, leading them to ask:
"In the United States, what should you never do?"
Stay out of the skies!
"Don't fly a drone in Washington, DC."
"The whole D.C. Area is a no fly zone."
"It's a federal offense."
"Just don't do it."- PeytonCarrK
Cops can't be bribed.
"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over."
"I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once.'
"Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."- PeytonCarrK
"Don't pay off the police."
"My dad has friends from several third-world nations where it is common practice to give the police some cash when you are pulled over."
"However, if you try to bribe a police officer here, you'll get into a lot of trouble."- JohnASmiley
Know your rights.
"Everyone, including foreigners, has the right to be silent and have a lawyer when being questioned."
"Don’t say anything."
"Also, even if you speak English fairly well, ask for an interpreter."- WickedLilThing
Enjoy all that nature has to offer... carefully!
"Don't wander off in the national parks."
"It's very real wilderness and you can get lost and die out there."
"This includes going over railings you aren't supposed to, or off trails."
"People have died accidentally falling into a steam geyser that looked like normal water, mauled by animals or left to the elements."- AlphaOhmeganational parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphy
Allow plenty of time!
"Expect consistency at TSA in airports."- WickedLilThing
Some terminology doesn't translate...
"If you’re from England, they’re called cigarettes here."- Yung_Onions
Make sure your license is up to date.
"If you come from a walkable country don’t come here expecting the same."
"There are some areas with good public transportation and bicycle/pedestrian friendly streets but for the most part, especially outside of cities, the areas are designed to accommodate cars more than anything else."
"The reason a lot of Americans drive everywhere is because, depending on where you live, we have no choice."- The_Cars93Dog Driving GIFGiphy
Wait for instructions.
"Get out of your car and approach the cop when being stopped by a cop unless told to."- hildrash
Whether your'e waling down a street in a foreign country, or the street you've lived on for your entire life, it's always wise to be on guard and aware of your surroundings.
Not to mention, obey the law.
Who doesn't love a good joke?
And one needn't be a professional comedian to always have a joke in their back pocket to make people laugh.
Particularly as there are certain types of jokes which are almost always guaranteed to elicit at least a tiny chuckle.
They could be knock-knock jokes, "little johnny" jokes, and of course the "yo mamma" jokes.
Though always teetering on the boundaries of good taste, the possibilities of jokingly insulting the mother of a friend, or foe, are endless, and more often than not, hilarious.
Redditor nobody-and-68-others was eager to hear the funniest "you mamma" jokes people have ever heard, leading them to ask:
"What are the best “Yo mama” jokes you got?"
Yo mamma's so fat...
"yo mamma so fat she wakes up in sections."- LolCoca
"Yo mama so fat when I had a threesome with her I never met the other guy."- 1nzlocky
"Your mama so fat, her memory foam mattress wish it could forget."- cuirboyFat GIFGiphy
...How fat Is she?
"Yo mama's so fat she outweighs the needs of the many."- BenefitsCustardbatch·
"Yo mama’s so fat that every time she turns around, it’s her birthday."- Amphibutter·
Yo mamma's so ugly...
'Yo mama so ugly, criminals break into her house just to close the curtains."- Cap_the_pro
"Yo mama so ugly your dad wakes up with morning wouldn't."- lukeedbnash
"Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves."- SolHalcyonthe emperors new groove hangover GIFGiphy
This could have so many meanings...
"The earth was flat until they buried yo mama."- jaymo54
Fat AND Ugly?
"Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, the stock market drops."
"Yo mama so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back."- SophisticatedOtaku
Needless to say, not all jokes are to everyone's taste.
Something to keep in mind when sharing these jokes with others.
Particularly with, "yo mamma", or anyone else's...
Societal norms gradually change over time, and it's not until a generation looks back and notices just how far they've come.
One of the major differences people from earlier generations find fascinating is how things were much more rigid compared to current times.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor FCFSDeals asked:
"What’s now weirdly acceptable in 2022 that was not acceptable growing up in your generation?"
Prior to cellphones, calling protocol was vastly different once upon a time.
Answering The Call
"Not answering the phone. When we only had landline phones (yes long time ago), there was no ringing phone that went unanswered. Now we screen or just plain ignore calls until we are good and ready to deal with it."
"Also, no one expected to reach you at any time, 24-7. I miss those days."
"But there was phone etiquette: no solicitation calls; no polls; and nobody called after 9PM unless someone was in jail or the hospital."
Appearance guidelines seemed to have shifted between generations.
"People have already said tattoos, but body piercings also exploded in popularity. It used to be girls could get their ears pierced, and that was it. When I was in high school, some guys started doing the one earring look and tongue, nose and bellybutton piercings were starting to become popular."
Comfort Is Priority
"Wearing sneakers to work at a fortune 100 company."
"At the beginning of my career it was suit and tie, then business casual and now I wear stan smiths, jeans and an untucked polo in the most senior position of my working life."
"I worked for the US Senate in 2009 (in a totally non-political job for the Senate Curator). I wore clothes from Hot Topic on the Senate floor. Some days I wore old jeans with holes in the knees if I knew I'd be climbing ladders to clean artworks. One of the women on the team had a full chest tattoo and made zero effort to cover it up because no one cared. The day I met Senator Inouye to discuss what paintings he wanted in his office, I had on trainers."
Benefits Of Letting The Hair Down
"They realized that they can't erode wages and expect us to look like we're on Mad Men at the same time. Allowing long haired freaky people has made them sh*tloads of money over the years."
Hair Coloring & Tattoos
"Any type of hair coloring would result in serious trouble at school. I also remember tatoos being frown upon as being found mostly on people that got out of prison."
The advent of the internet was a huge game changer, and rules were made up as we went along.
The Bandwidth Situation
"2 people using the internet at the same time."
Phones In The Classroom
"Middle/high school students being allowed to have their cell phones in class. Being caught with our cell phone when I was a high schooler was an automatic detention etc."
Consequences Of Having A Phone On Campus
"I graduated in the late 90's, and the president of my class got expelled one week before graduation for having a phone on campus. It was in his car, and this was after hours. It rang and a teacher heard it. They made an example out of him. He lost his admission to West Point."
"Now my 8th grader finds it super unjust that her science teacher makes all the kids put their phones in a box at the front of the room during tests, and feels super justified in never ever giving up her airpods to that sort of thing."
When I was a cast member at Disneyland in the early 2000s, we had to abide by the strict, clean-cut appearance guidelines required of all cast members–with different rules applying to each respective gender.
Men, for example, were not allowed to wear jewelry or have visible tattoos. We also had to maintain the length of our hair to not exceed past a certain length, and sporting facial hair was a major no-no.
Now, the "Disney Look" has changed, allowing all cast members to reflect their personalities through “gender-inclusive hairstyles, jewelry, nail styles and costume choices; and allowing appropriate visible tattoos," according to the Disney Parks Blog.
To the Mouse, I tip my hat for these awesome changes.