Friends, especially great friends share a lot in life.
We share secrets, memories, joy, sorrow and in some cases... sex.
Is this a good idea or an unmitigated disaster?
The jury is still out.
It works for some and is a disaster for others.
Plus it can muddle the history of the relationship.
So what do people do?
Let's find out...
Redditor thunderchild10 wanted to discuss everyone's thoughts on the friends with benefits scenario, so they asked:
"What's your opinion of friends with benefits?"
I've never done FWB.
I feel robbed.
After a while...
Friends With Benefits Herkenbaar GIF by GoPlayGiphy"Fun, and fine for a while, but less fulfilling than a relationship. Also, you both need to be good at compartmentalization, otherwise one of you will likely end up catching feelings."
Akiram
Be Clear
"My FWB caught feelings even though we were always clearly communicated as FWB. We were both in a big but really close friends group. I got a gf (she had recently had a bf as well) and she got mad. I ended up losing all my friends. It’s been 4 years, and she actually successfully managed to get 20+ ppl to forget I exist."
"Wouldn’t recommend."
sadbudda
The Rule of Three
"I had 3 throughout college. Two ended in us dating and then breaking up. The only one that worked and lasted two years was me and an ex from high school. We never hung out but were cool after our breakup. Didn’t speak for like three years and then when we were in college we saw each other at the bar, hooked up that night, then like two days later she asked if I wanted to meet up and I said sure."
"Then it just continues for two years. We rarely spoke outside of the bedroom other than like ‘pick me up from the bar’. Overall it was cool but I think it’s very rare. You have to find two people who just don’t have any desire for each other other than when horny, which a lot of times is not the case in one side"
InternationalMouse56
Confusion
"I honestly don't understand it at all. Having any sexual relation with a person whom I don't love and who doesn't love me seems pointless and even scary to me. I guess I am over-sensitive or something, because the thought of being so close to somebody without actually having a connection, an exclusivity, without knowing if this will ever happen again, is genuinely horrific to me."
"I don't care what others do in the bed and with whom, but this kind of relationship is just not for me."
ZidanSufuzki
For Life
Corona Snap GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy"If they can provide Medical, Dental, Unemployment, and Retirement benefits then they’re a friend for life."
Stupify_Me
Benefits are benefits. I'm in.
Forever
married single ladies GIFGiphy"It didn't work out. We couldn't keep it just friends once we started the benefits. We will celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary in 2 weeks."
dirtysecretsofmine
Hey Buddy
"Very messy. You gotta either be f"k buddies only, dating, or friends only. Trying to keep feelings out of FWB is too difficult."
MarthaTheTRex
"That's a great point. I agree that it's tough to keep feelings out of the equation. I think it's best to just be honest and open with your friend so that you both know the boundaries of the situation and can stick to them. That way, both parties can be sure that they're getting what they need out of the relationship."
Professional-Help114
Taking Chances
"Seems iffy to me if you want the friendship to lay long term. Doesn't someone usually catch feelings, so after the FWB finds a partner they want to keep, it leaves the other party out. Especially if the new bf/gf doesn't want you to be friends with someone you've had sex with."
"Yes? No? I'm not into casual sex for myself, so am I off base?"
lifehappenedwhatnow
Developments
"A lot of people are saying 'someone always inevitably develops feelings' and that it ends badly, but that's not been my experience. I'm still friends with a few of my FWB's that I'm no longer sleeping with over the last couple of years and I'm genuinely happy for them that they've found relationships that make them happy. And I know of quite a few others similar to me."
playswithf1re
In Sync...
Sacha Baron Cohen Thumbs Up GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy"A great plan when both participants are on the same page. Whether that is 'stay FWB' or 'hey we caught feelings, let's give a relationship a try'. A mess when only one participant catches feelings."
Gwywnnydd
Don't get hurt...
"Terrible idea, someone always inevitably develops feelings and gets hurt."
"It can work sure, but in general, unless you're both 100% sure (which, how can you ever really be?) beforehand that you won't develop feelings for each other, I generally have seen it not work."
"In my personal experience, someone always had to break it off just as feelings were starting to arise. So yeah, be careful I guess."
PodcastingPodcastGuy
What have we learned?
Communication is key.
Do you have any WTF FWB experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Moviegoers online shared their thoughts when Redditor Snoo_19146 asked:
"What’s the first sign that a movie is going to be bad?"
Pandering to the audience with lame humor is such a turn-off.
This Speaks Volumes
"Characters think they are funny because they speak loudly."
– drod3333
Soph-moronic Humor
"Also references to farts or weed. (Not jokes: references.)"
'Hey guys who wants to smoke some weeeeed?'
"Pause for laughter"
– Beingabummer
Premature Review
"It's advertised as one of the best movies of the year."
"And it's late January."
– M-Test24
The Poster Says It All
"There’s someone shrugging whimsically on the poster. 🤷"
– findlestick
Trailers alone can be a red flag.
Cliff's Notes Version
"When the trailer already tells you the entire movie."
– JAR_Melethril
"I've scratched titles off my watch list because I feel I've already seen the important parts of the film through the trailer, why bother?"
– butter00pecan
Recycling One-Liners
"If there are multiple trailers for a comedy movie, but they use the same joke in all of them."
– jelecel865
"And then you sit in the movie or on netflix and you're like. Oh, the joke from the trailer, I think that's where the movie starts to get funny, but it just transitions into the serious end arc and then is over."
– candybomberz
Familiar Jokes From Deadpool
"Something that always bugged me was the first Deadpool movie and it’s trailers. Don’t get me wrong, I love the movie, but here you have a character wearing a mask, played by an actor known for comedy in a movie that probably had a ton of jokes and multiple takes left on the cutting room floor."
"They could have EASILY dubbed different jokes into the trailer and used the final ones in the movie for an extra surprise. But nope, trailer jokes -> movie jokes. Kind of a bummer."
– LegendaryOutlaw
Some movies are destined for failure.
If It Ain't Broke
"It’s a remake of something that didn’t suck."
– Diesel07012012
"I hate that there’s so many remakes of decent/good movies. Feels like it’s just a safe money-grab. It would be cool if movies that didn’t do so hot, get reworked into good movie remakes, but I guess that’s too much of a risk for studios to bother with."
– AnEpicHibiscus
A Very Telling Intro
"An exposition in which one character explains everything that's going on to another character that should already know what is going on."
– rohawe8491
Familiar Setup
'Stacy sweetie, you know I haven’t been the same since your brother disappeared 4 years ago at the creek, & then we moved here to get away from the bad memories but it didn’t change anything & now you’re moving to college & I’ve been finding it hard to accept, & I’m struggling to hold down my job at the diner & that new guy I’m seeing is acting really shady & disappears for days, & completely unrelated to all that there’s mysterious murders happening since he arrived in town. You know all this Stacy..'
"whilst unpacking the shopping in the first scene."
– bluerain80
We Need A Reset
"Doctor: what we have here is a case of transcranial temporal reinforcement. If the patient is not restored to his original nacency the Einstein Bozeman condensate will reseed throughout the multiverse and congeal with unfortold consequences!"
"Other doctor: in English please!"
"Doctor: we need to send him back in time so his brain can restart the universe."
– ActorMonkey
Multiple Cooks
"Not always the case but when there are more than 3 writers a movie tends to lack vision. It can also occur due to rewrites. Not A Bomb Podcast reviews movies that bombed financially or critically and this is a subject often discussed if anyone is interested."
– earball1996
Maybe it's all about the journey.
Trailers do have to entice you with the best parts of a film promising audiences they'll be in for a good time.
However, movies just have to deliver on that promise by not revealing all the best bits in the trailer.
One movie I thought was going to be a succession of cheap one-liners with nothing but action was Disney's animated film Big Hero 6. The trailer was never appealing to me.
But after reading many positive reviews, I decided to give it a chance and I'm so glad I did.
It ended up being a very intelligent, emotionally mature film dealing with grief and an internal struggle about doing the right thing. While those are common tropes, it was all the more impactful watching animated characters dealing with serious themes and issues.
The bottom line is don't be quick to dismiss every movie based on its trailer.
You might be pleasantly surprised.
"Meat lovers would you date a vegan or vegetarian, and vice versa, why/ why not?"
To Each Their Own
"If they don’t force me to go on the same diet as them I would date them."- Daisyline27
Not Remotely An Issue
"Date?"
"I married one."
"I still eat meat but enjoy cooking meals we both can eat."- davidfavel
"I've (36 M[ale]) been vegetarian since I was 18."
"My wife (37 F[emale]) is a meat eater in a way that only a south east Asian can be."
"She enthusiastically eats everything."
"We have been together for over a decade and have two children, there have been zero problems."- ndraiay
Date one?"
"Hell I married one, and we're still together more than 30 years later."- LJ_Wanderer
"Yeah."
"I have. Wasn’t much of an issue."- iAmPresidentNixonAMA
shocked my big fat greek wedding GIFGiphyWilling To Expand Their Palette
"Sure."
"I do a day or two here and there veg anyway, maybe they can show me some new foods or recipes."- Drew-
"Yea I love me some meat. But the vegan and vegetarian options are good."- mrsnowplow
As Long As There's Respect
"As a vegetarian I would and have dated meat lovers, as long as they don’t make a ton of jokes about slipping meat into my food without me noticing (which has happened) or get super preachy about why i should be eating meat/ why being vegetarian isn’t actually better for the environment (which has also happened)."
"For the record, I never push my beliefs onto anyone I’m dating or expect them to change their diet for me."-FigCompetitive5599
"I don’t see why not, assuming they wouldn’t try to change my diet or something."- MahouShounenKerenKun
"Vegan here for 6 years now."
"I’ve only ever been with meat eaters."
"I would do it again too lol."
"As long as you both aren’t trying to change each other it shouldn’t matter."
"As for eating out/ cooking, people who care for one another are willing to make a few compromises or tweaks to their meals if needed."
"Meaning we can both get something different to eat out, we take turns choosing restaurants ( Not picky I’ll eat anything as long as it falls under my dietary restrictions as for my partners in the past they were always willing to try something new ) and if we’re cooking or if they are we just make some tweaks to make my meal vegan or we’ll both eat vegan."
"My past partners haven’t had any complaints for what it’s worth lol."
"As long as you both have mutual respect for one another you can make it work!."- Lazuli111_
Episode 16 Vegan GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyLogical, I Guess?
"If this were the apocalypse and food was scarce, sure I'd probably go my separate way (after trading my partner to scavengers for meat) but in today's normal world where we can both readily buy what we want, who gives a f*ck."- AdmiralBarackAdama
Easy Ways To Work Around It
"Vegetarian married to a meat eater."
'We normally eat veg at home, just because neither of know how to cook meat."- VeeRook
Easy For Meat Eaters, Less So For Vegetarians And Vegans
"I feel like a vegan would have a way harder time tolerating a SO who eats meat considering their typical moral/ethical stances on the livestock industry."- C-Kwentz-0
Vegan Veganism GIFGiphyIt's All About Compromise
"I love meat and am happily married to a vegetarian."
"One of our kids loves meat, the other two don’t eat it."
"Sure, we’ve had to compromise at times, but that’s what a relationship is all about."- jalexgray4
One's taste in food is very personal, and no one should ever convince you to change it, particularly if your taste in food stems from even bigger beliefs.
That being said, sometimes love can be strong enough to make you overlook the steaks you'd rather not have in your freezer, or settle for buffalo cauliflower at a Super Bowl party.