Friends, especially great friends share a lot in life.
We share secrets, memories, joy, sorrow and in some cases... sex.
Is this a good idea or an unmitigated disaster?
The jury is still out.
It works for some and is a disaster for others.
Plus it can muddle the history of the relationship.
So what do people do?
Let's find out...
Redditor thunderchild10 wanted to discuss everyone's thoughts on the friends with benefits scenario, so they asked:
"What's your opinion of friends with benefits?"
I've never done FWB.
I feel robbed.
After a while...
Friends With Benefits Herkenbaar GIF by GoPlayGiphy"Fun, and fine for a while, but less fulfilling than a relationship. Also, you both need to be good at compartmentalization, otherwise one of you will likely end up catching feelings."
Akiram
Be Clear
"My FWB caught feelings even though we were always clearly communicated as FWB. We were both in a big but really close friends group. I got a gf (she had recently had a bf as well) and she got mad. I ended up losing all my friends. It’s been 4 years, and she actually successfully managed to get 20+ ppl to forget I exist."
"Wouldn’t recommend."
sadbudda
The Rule of Three
"I had 3 throughout college. Two ended in us dating and then breaking up. The only one that worked and lasted two years was me and an ex from high school. We never hung out but were cool after our breakup. Didn’t speak for like three years and then when we were in college we saw each other at the bar, hooked up that night, then like two days later she asked if I wanted to meet up and I said sure."
"Then it just continues for two years. We rarely spoke outside of the bedroom other than like ‘pick me up from the bar’. Overall it was cool but I think it’s very rare. You have to find two people who just don’t have any desire for each other other than when horny, which a lot of times is not the case in one side"
InternationalMouse56
Confusion
"I honestly don't understand it at all. Having any sexual relation with a person whom I don't love and who doesn't love me seems pointless and even scary to me. I guess I am over-sensitive or something, because the thought of being so close to somebody without actually having a connection, an exclusivity, without knowing if this will ever happen again, is genuinely horrific to me."
"I don't care what others do in the bed and with whom, but this kind of relationship is just not for me."
ZidanSufuzki
For Life
Corona Snap GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy"If they can provide Medical, Dental, Unemployment, and Retirement benefits then they’re a friend for life."
Stupify_Me
Benefits are benefits. I'm in.
Forever
married single ladies GIFGiphy"It didn't work out. We couldn't keep it just friends once we started the benefits. We will celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary in 2 weeks."
dirtysecretsofmine
Hey Buddy
"Very messy. You gotta either be f"k buddies only, dating, or friends only. Trying to keep feelings out of FWB is too difficult."
MarthaTheTRex
"That's a great point. I agree that it's tough to keep feelings out of the equation. I think it's best to just be honest and open with your friend so that you both know the boundaries of the situation and can stick to them. That way, both parties can be sure that they're getting what they need out of the relationship."
Professional-Help114
Taking Chances
"Seems iffy to me if you want the friendship to lay long term. Doesn't someone usually catch feelings, so after the FWB finds a partner they want to keep, it leaves the other party out. Especially if the new bf/gf doesn't want you to be friends with someone you've had sex with."
"Yes? No? I'm not into casual sex for myself, so am I off base?"
lifehappenedwhatnow
Developments
"A lot of people are saying 'someone always inevitably develops feelings' and that it ends badly, but that's not been my experience. I'm still friends with a few of my FWB's that I'm no longer sleeping with over the last couple of years and I'm genuinely happy for them that they've found relationships that make them happy. And I know of quite a few others similar to me."
playswithf1re
In Sync...
Sacha Baron Cohen Thumbs Up GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy"A great plan when both participants are on the same page. Whether that is 'stay FWB' or 'hey we caught feelings, let's give a relationship a try'. A mess when only one participant catches feelings."
Gwywnnydd
Don't get hurt...
"Terrible idea, someone always inevitably develops feelings and gets hurt."
"It can work sure, but in general, unless you're both 100% sure (which, how can you ever really be?) beforehand that you won't develop feelings for each other, I generally have seen it not work."
"In my personal experience, someone always had to break it off just as feelings were starting to arise. So yeah, be careful I guess."
PodcastingPodcastGuy
What have we learned?
Communication is key.
Do you have any WTF FWB experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Curious to hear from strangers who've been cheated on, Redditor Recent-Gap-9927 asked:
"What was the wildest way you found out you were being cheated on?"
These Redditors didn't see it coming.
Sexual Recap For Unintended Recipient
"She didn’t realise that her iPhone messages were also synchronised to her Mac, which I was using to stream movies on."
"I saw text popping up with her writing to her ex... I just packed up my sh*t and left"
– Ok_Insurance_3011Friend Group
"My ENTIRE friend group knew about it, and I only found out after the one real homie blackmailed her into admitting it."
"And when she did, it was the most insincere sh*t ever. 'It's no big deal, everyone else thinks it's ok!' and stuff like that. Suffice to say, I got my a** outta that relationship AND friendship group real quick."
– Samurai294Bragging Rights
"He was drunk at his 21st and while joking around with his friends he started listing off all the women he’d slept with in the last year."
"I was standing right there and we’d been dating for two years at that point."
– FraerieLet's Check Our Phones
"She demanded to read all the messages on my phone, I said no problem but only if I could read the messages on hers."
"She had forgotten to delete a message from a guy saying 'All we ever do is f'k, can't we hang out some time?'"
"There was nothing on my phone."
– forcekin69
Young Tattler
"My 9 year old son told me that there were strange men in the house when I was away working. She'd been at it for years."
"It's horrible to deal with at the time, but honestly, it's such a relief to be rid of such a toxic mess."
– beerdybeerHearing about your partner cheating is one thing.
Witnessing it in action is another.
Meta Drama
"Date night cancelled day-of. I decided to make it a guys night to see the new marvel movie at the time. As we entered, I saw her sitting it the theatre snuggling up with a guy. Our seats were a few rows back, saw them kiss a couple times. When we all left at the end of the movie they were exiting their aisle as we walked down the stairs. She absolutely froze when she saw me. Blocked her on everything while I’m the in parking lot"– RiddledWithEnigma
The Facebook Post
"I was visiting a dying relative in hospital so could not attend some stupid college party he and his roommate organised. I told him I couldn't go and asked him if he could come over later (after visiting hours in the hospital) because I knew my relative would die soon and I really just needed someone to be there with me. He said he probably wouldn't be able to, as he needed to help his roommate with party preparations, but would come over later if they finish early... Next day I saw pictures of him with his ex in his lap, kissing, uploaded the previous night by his roommate. The roommate even knew we were dating, he was just too drunk to realise he added me as a friend a week earlier on Facebook and I would see the pictures."
– CaricaIntergalaktiki
Sometimes, a bit of sarcasm helps when recalling an unpleasant memory.
Mutual Friend
"Her other boyfriend (who I didn’t know existed) and I had a mutual friend who put two and two together and told me. I said I wanted to meet him so he called him over. We talked out some things and then called her together at my suggestion. Good times were had by all -1"– Jonaldson
Return To Sender
He apparently wrote an address wrong and the love letter he wrote was returned to our home."
"It was a great way to come back from vacation."
– Character_Moment_689
Beware of where you store your "tasteful nudes."
Open Google Drive
"One of her friends was a photographer and wanted to do 'tasteful nudes' which apparently includes penetration! And multiple days of getting the right shot..."
"We had a shared Google drive, which her friend didn't know we shared."
– PumaRevivedPrivate Photo Session
"Your story reminded me of a past ex."
"Her (female) friend was a photographer and she had a very intimate photo session with her. Not nude, but pretty damn close."
"She had told me about this before hand and I wasn’t really for it. The style of the shoot, was not really my taste (they were trashy imo), but I wasn’t going to stop her."
"She got very upset when I questioned what they were for if they weren’t for her current lover. Turns out they were for her ex who she was seeing on and off for our entire relationship."
– pooponacandleSome people think they're entitled to have their cake and eat it too.
However, if these individuals have an arrangement like an open relationship–where it's mutually beneficial and agreed upon by both participants–good on them for having a healthy and communicative relationship.
But if sneaky individuals engage in clandestine sexual relations, they need to reevaluate their romantic situations.
It's not fair for the other person involved who is faithful and trusting.
"What’s a podcast actually worth listening to?"
"Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend Me Your Ears!"
"'History of Rome'."
"After the first few episodes where sound produciton isnt, great, its just like 200 epsidoes of incredible story of the rise and fall of the entire Roman empire."
"The dude knows his sh*t."
"Actively will call out his own mistakes during the following episodes when he is wrong (which isn't often)."
"He tells it in way better than any textbook."
"He almost never goes off the rails and talks about irrelevant material."
"And when he does, it's about baseball for like 4 seconds."
"He enjoys the topic and you can tell."- saturnsnephew
Delightful Disasters
"'Well There's Your Problem: A podcast about engineering disasters'."
"With Slides."
"I listen to one or two comedy podcasts but none of them make me laugh as hard or as proud sons of Philly and a posh British woman discussing engineering and societal disasters."- CaptValentine
Engineering Rotate GIF by AirspeederGiphyLaughing While Learning
"'No Such Thing as a Fish'."
"Funny while being somewhat educational."- _performer
When You Can't Make Book Club...
"This is kind of new - but check out 'If Books Could Kill'.”
"Two guys discuss and analyze bestselling nonfiction books that could use a good dissection- like 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad' and 'The Secret'.”
"Well researched and super funny and interesting."
"Love it."- SourKrautCupcake
Before You Click That Link...
"Darknet Diaries."- simiansamurai
internet technology GIF by PsyklonGiphyTruly Transporting
"'Old Gods of Appalachia' is a good radio drama."
"The way narrator speaks, you can feel the trees grow around you."- PotatoesMcLaughlin
Timely Doesn't Even Begin To Cover It...
"I am obsessed with 'This Podcast Will Kill You'."
"If you like the biology and history of diseases and illnesses, this is it!"
"The presenters are awesome!"- GibberishBanana2022
For History Buffs And Non Alike!
"Hardcore History."- ManNamedGray
"The History of Rome - Mike Duncan."
"The Rest is History."
"Hardcore History."- YallMindIfIJoin
Learn Social Studies GIF by Awkward Daytime TVGiphyLuckily To Be Heard, And Not Seen...
"99% Invisible."- andbosta
Before You Jump To Judgement
"'Behind the Bastards' is fantastic, but will question humanity."- azorianmilk
But Were "Right" To Listen
"I love 'You’re Wrong About'."- ResidentRepulsive·
wrong chicken GIF by happydogGiphyIn Case You're Wondering How We Got Here...
"The Anthropocene Reviewed."- Ererr50
The Stories You Thought You Knew
"My all time favorite is 'The Film Reroll'."
"They take the basic premise of a film and play through the story as an RPG, allowing the choices of the players and roll of the dice to drastically change the story."
"Highlights have included starting a civil war in Oz, blowing up the moon in ET, and the GM tricking the players into thinking they were doing an obscure 80's teen sex comedy none of them had ever heard of only to spring Jason on them and reveal it was really Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter."
"Here are a couple clips for a taste:"
"The Cowardly Lion worries about what happened to Dorothy and Scarecrow when the party got split."
"Jafar fails a will roll and falls in love with Aladdin."
"They will sometimes do sequels to their previous re-rolls and those can get epic."
"Their version of the Halloween trilogy is my personal canonical version of that franchise to me."
"Danny Hodges is the greatest ascended NPC protagonist the movies never had."
"Currently they're doing Rogue Two."
"In their version of Rogue One, Andor, Jyn, and K2SO all survived so now their continued story is running parallel to A New Hope."
"I could go on and on about the running jokes, the great humor, the unexpectedly dramatic moments with real pathos, the wonderful personalities and absolutely world class acting and improv that goes into the show."
"I dearly love it and have listened to every episode at least twice, while some of my favorites have become go-to comfort listening and I've lost count of how many times I've re-listened to those."
"But I'll let ya'll discover all of that for yourselves."
"It's a true gem of a show."
"Some honorable mentions:"
"'Oh No! Ross and Carrie': They examine 'fringe science, spirituality, and claims of the paranormal' and 'show up so you don't have to'."
"They try alternative medicines on themselves, join cults, and investigate all kind of wild claims and report back their first hand experience."
"Yes, they have done Scientology."
"You might be surprised at how far into it they got before they were found out."
"'Monster Talk': a show that looks at Fortean phenomenon from a skeptical perspective."
"Never cynical or simply debunking, they engage with every topic like there could be some merit until they find that there isn't any."
"Good research and even worse puns."
"'In Research Of':"
"A sort of spin off form 'Monster Talk', they watch every episode of the classic Leonard Nimoy series In Search Of and "present some explanations that the producers chose not to present'."
"One of the co-hosts is an Archaeologist, and it can be a hoot to hear him go off on ancient alien and Graham Hancock type sh*t."
"'Another Path:' A D&D 5e Actual Play podcast."
"They had a pretty epic campaign that I'd recommend for fans of 'The Adventure Zone'."
"They recently started a new one with new characters that doesn't require listening to the old one, although the old one is well worth the time."
"Imprinted Echoes: A Numenera actual play podcast."
"Has some neat sci-fi concepts in it and I love the crew playing it."- charlesdexterward
Zooey Deschanel Movie GIFGiphyThere is truly nothing more transporting than a good story.
Be it a variation of something familiar, or a deep dive into something you knew nothing about, a good storyteller will have you captured from the minute they uttered their first words.
Redditor akumamatata8080 was referring to those alternate definitions when they asked:
"What was the best 'Easter Egg' you’ve found in any show, movie, video game, etc...?"
Ringu (The Ring)
"Within the DVD menu of 'The Ring' you can watch the cursed video footage."
"The best partwas that it disables the DVD controls, forcing you watch the footage."
"(But I guess you could yank the power or shut off the tv...)"
- Gelgoogilly
"Better/worse, if you do watch it then the DVD menu will also play the sound of a ringing phone right after you've finished watching it."
- res30stupid
GiphyBeetlejuice, Beetlejuice, ...
"Community. They mention Beetlejuice and on the third time he actually walks by in the background."
- Scofish91
"Might i add they say beettlejucie over several seasons. Then yes the third time he can be seen in the background"
- Nothingspecial2do
Batmobile
"In The Dark Knight, Bruce Wayne drives a Lamborghini Murcielago."
"Murcielago is the Spanish word for bat. He was driving a batmobile the whole time."
- Goatmanthealien
Duke Nukem
"I was young but the original Duke Nukem 3D had a secret where you found the guy from Doom impaled on a spike and Duke quips 'Damn, that’s one doomed space marine' - young me thought that was the most clever thing ever"
- PVGames
"All the YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE messages in hidden areas were great, too."
- GatoradeNipples
Adventure Time
"I've had a lot of fun finding the little snail that waves to you from every episode of Adventure Time."
- Level238
Metal Gear Solid 3
"In Metal Gear Solid 3 you can kill a guard in a certain area with vultures, after which a vulture may start eating him - and then you can kill and eat the vulture yourself."
"After this there's a boss fight against The Sorrow who forces you to walk past all the people you've killed throughout the game, one of them being that guard who repeats over and over 'you ate me, ate me, ate me'"
- bawdeagle
"My favorite one is also in MGS3. If you get captured by The End you are put in a jail cell. If you save and quit the game there and then load it again, a completely different game called Guy Savage will load up. You play it for a few minutes and it eventually stops with Big Boss waking up from his nightmare."
"This happened to me the first time I played it and it confused the hell out of me. I thought I put the wrong disc in the PS2, and then thought 'Wait, no, I just loaded the game... What the hell is this??'"
- sumgine
So Much Monty Python
"Found Holy Hand Grenade from Monty Python and the Holy Grail in Fallout"
- snoodletuber
"In witcher 3 you come across the entrance to a cave littered with bones and body parts covered in blood."
"And a cute little White bunny outside."
- Kriss3d
"Wasn't also a holy hand grenade in Worms? I always thought it was a reference to Monty Python as well"
- cabezaneitor
"Yeah, sings "hallelujah" and then a big explosion. Spent so many hours blowing up my friends with that."
- copuncle
"In Fallout 2 I'm pretty sure there's an encounter with the bridgekeeper"
- Overlord3456
Borderlands
"I always found the Minecraft easter egg in Borderlands 2 pretty cool. They added Creepers as an enemy to fight and they all had a chance to drop special minecraft themed guns and cosmetics. IIRC there was a shotgun that shot the minecraft fire "block" in a 3x3 pattern and a sniper that just shot minecraft arrows."
- Blackstone611
Doctor Who
"Doctor Who: in episode "Face the Raven", there is text on a wall written in Aurebesh, the lettering system from the Star Wars universe. When translated into the Roman alphabet, the text spells "Delorean", the model of car famously used as the time machine in Back to the Future. These two worlds represent time and space, the fundamentals of Doctor Who."
- LR-II
Jungle Book
"In the live action version of 'The Jungle Book', Mowgli enters the hall of King Louie and is amazed at the heaps of trinkets the monkeys have been stealing from the man villages. He casually picks up the top item from a heap - a cowbell - looks it over, and puts it back."
"King Louie was voiced by Christopher Walken."
The funny part is that I didn't even notice until my 8 year old son, upon hearing the name of the voice actor, remarked, 'oh, the cowbell guy?'"
- I_Byte
Uncharted
"Hotel Guest: (on seeing Nate and Chloe coming out of the ocean) Whoa! What the hell happened to you two?"
"Nathan Drake: Fell out of a car that fell out of a plane."
"Hotel Guest: Huh. You know something like that happened to me once."
"The hotel guest was Nolan North. The voice of Nathan Drake in the Uncharted video game series."
- RJD1977
Friends
"It’s not exactly the most creative or anything, but I loved the episode of Friends after Courtney Cox and David Arquette got married when she was first credited as Courtney Cox Arquette the rest of the cast was credited as Arquettes as well.
- stephers85
Drillbit Taylor
"This is minor, but I remember it making me laugh when I saw it."
"In Drillbit Taylor, when they're interviewing potential bodyguards, Adam Baldwin (Firefly, Full Metal Jacket, and some others) makes an appearance and says that hiring a bodyguard to protect them from a bully was the stupidest thing he's ever heard of. He was in a 1980 movie (that I saw several times as a kid) called My Bodyguard, where he gets hired to protect a kid from a bully."
"I watched the movie in a room full of people born in 1980 and after and felt pretty old laughing at it."
- well_honk_my_hooters
Heretic
"Just remembered another one: in the game Heretic, which was an FPS put out by id software, it would punish you for trying to use the famous cheat codes from Doom. If you put in the God mode code it would kill you and if you put in the code to get all the weapons it would take all your weapons away. For both it would display a message on the screen taunting you for trying to cheat."
- bubersbeard
Skyrim
"I’m sure a lot of people know this one but, in Skyrim as you’re making your way through Skuldafn, in one of the fireplaces, you can find a potato with a boiled cream treat and some pieces of charcoal, made to look like PotatOS (GLaDOS in potato form)."
- MooseNizzle
"I'm actually close to going to Skuldafn on my most recent playthrough, so I'll have to look out for that."
"Another Easter Egg that I'm sure is even more well known, but might as well be mentioned for those who still haven't heard... is that at the very top of The Throat of the World, there's a Notched Pickaxe embedded in some rocks that has a unique enchantment that adds +5 to the smithing skill. This is an obvious reference to Minecraft and its creator."
- MaxG623
Easter eggs may not be part of the main story of a piece of media, but they can definitely increase audience enjoyment.
internet what GIFGiphy