When you're preparing a marriage proposal to the person you love, you're looking forward to a lifetime together.
That's only if it goes as planned, however. Life and people are unpredictable. And what a way to find out that you and your significant other aren't on the same page!
But a "no" to marriage now might not always be a "no" forever. Or, that "no" could be the best thing for a relationship.
So, when Redditor u/jagaraujo asked... "People who proposed and they said no, what happened afterwards?" we got to hear stories of engagements that went awry, and ended in heartbreak and true love.
20. There has to be love
"Two weeks later she realized she was pregnant. When I came over to talk she said 'We have to get married!' (she was from a conservative Catholic family). I said, 'Do you love me?' She said no and I replied, 'Then we don't have to get married.'"
19. They'll always think twice now
"Just moved on. But haven't had the same courage since then.."
18. Just make sure it's cool with mom
"Not exactly a 'no' but not a yes either:
I asked one morning and she said she had to ask her mom.
Later that afternoon she said that mom said it was fine but we had to wait almost 2 years until she was 21.
That was in 1989. We've been married 29 years as of this week."
17. It was a bummer with a happy ending
"happened to my buddy. He was bummed. He asked her again a year or two later with better results. Now he's got 3 kids in a big house and everyone looks happy"
16. Dad gave the answer
"My Mum said yes to my Dad, but Grandad told him no, you have to buy a house first or you can't marry my daughter. They were only 18. They scrimped and saved for two years to get a deposit on the house and since they were only 20 my Grandad had to cosign, but he gave his permission once he saw my Dad was serious. They've been married 52 years this year.
My Grandad was an amazing man, but if you didn't work hard to provide for your family he had little time for you."
15. She kind of ruined the whole thing...
"A friend of my wife told her now husband no when he first proposed. Her husband had been absent a few times unexpectedly while he was looking for a ring. He lied about what he was doing while looking for the ring so that she wouldn't expect it, she caught him in the lie and began to believe he was cheating. She started to accuse him and when he felt he had no other choice he told her what he really had been up to, showed her the ring and popped the question. She told him no, she wanted a more romantic proposal. He refuse to propose again and a few weeks later she finally had to propose to him."
14. It helped them grow up
"She said no and it was the best thing that could have happened to us. To my surprise, after she did, my adult life really began. It's been nothing but improved since and I am grateful to her for being honest with me. This was about 9ish years ago and we were together for just shy of 7 years. We loved each other but we were not kind and it was a textbook toxic relationship for a lot of reasons."
13. For richer or poorer...
"We broke up, my life went downhill. I got rich, we got back together, she asked to move in, I said no and ended it. If I'm not good enough for someone when poor, I want nothing to do with them when rich."
12. Definitely need time to heal from it
"Depression and lose all confidence. Hard to bounce back"
11. "No" was the best answer
I'm on the other side.
Woke up one Christmas morning & he pulled a ring out of his bedside drawer and asked me to marry him.
I said no & moved back to my home town 3 days later.
It was a very toxic relationship.
10. She pitied the sad American
"My mother told my father no three times. On the third time he got wasted at a local bar and basically started pouring his heart out to any one who'd listen. Mind you, it's a very small village in the Italian alps and my father barely spoke Italian and no one in the village spoke English, including my mother. Word got back to my mom about this sad American at the bar so she went to find him and she told him she'd marry him.
My parents celebrated their 44th anniversary last month."
9. It was still true love
"My mum actually said no to my dad's proposal when they were younger. Not because they weren't in love, but because she wasn't sure if it was something she actually wanted to do, rather than something that society expected of her or whatever...
They still stayed together and had kids (hence why you're reading this now!). And then when my dad was terminally ill a few years ago my mum plucked up the courage and asked him.
Just to get her back after all those years he said no- before taking her up on the offer a few days later.
He died a happy man."
8. It was the best solution after all
"We met in her home country of Germany while I was traveling. I knew I was in love. We dated long distance for a while. Me flying to Europe. Her flying to the US. I suggested marriage so we could be together. She said no a few times. I didn't press. But I was patient and not being pushy. I knew she was worth the wait. Then it hit her that's how we could be together. If we got married, we could live in a country together. The difficulties of being born on a different patch of dirt. A few years later, I'm still married to my best friend and living with her in Germany. Not all no's stay no. Life goes on."
7. I hope she's still out there
"She had cancer. I said we should get married because I had full medical coverage from my work. She said no, and over time we grew apart. Haven't talked to her in 15 years, don't know if she died."
6. He bettered himself and moved on
"My dad proposed to a woman who said no. My dad was a violent alcoholic and she said she couldn't be with him unless he got clean. Took him a little while, but he did it. He wound up meeting my mom through a match maker and they've been married 25 years.
If that woman never said no to him, he never would have gotten clean. It was the lowest point in his life. But it all brought him to my mom who makes him happier than ever.
My dad talks to her sometimes. She got married to someone else and they had a son who died from a medical condition."
5. She just needed to be asked twice
"We lived together for another six years until she changed her mind and told me that I should ask again. We were engaged for over a year and got married in 1991. We are still married, have three children, and are both still very much in love."
4. It sometimes comes down to the effort
"My husband asked 3 times in the span of a couple months. We had dated for 3 years. He was ready, i wanted to graduate college first.
Also: dont 'propose' by handing your SO a ring while you're both in the car on the way to Burger King. I'm low maintenance, but put some thought into it."
3. They dodged a bullet
"Dated a woman for over two years and popped the question. First time she said 'I don't know'. A couple months later I asked her again, she said 'Maybe.' I was pretty bent out of shape. But then I found out she was sleeping with several of my friends so I dodged a bullet there really."
2. They had to grow up a little
"I asked her right out of high school, but she wasn't ready. We stayed together, went to college at the same school, spent the first year in separate dorms, then moved in together. Got married a few years later. Our 20th is coming up."
1. Life plans were shredded
"As a woman who was engaged and the proposal was later revoked, it still stings a little 11 years later. When you're sure you're with the love of your life, losing them can really pop a hole in your life plans."
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