Professionals That See Naked Bodies At Work Break Down The Most Common Insecurities

Bodies are beautiful. Everyone's body is a treasure. There is no reason to feel shame. Sure most of us have pounds to lose and other's have the illusion of perfection but every body has value. We are connected to our bodies for life so we might as well find peace with what we've got. Take a chapter from those who work with naked bodies on the regular. It's just another day at the office for them.
Redditor u/merzickel wanted to know how everyone makes it work when you're surrounded by all nudes by asking.... Doctors, massage therapists, and other people who see naked bodies at work: what are most people insecure about when it comes to their bodies that's actually super common and normal?
The Grapefruit.
The only naked person I actually remember was this dude who called due to a hernia. He told us what was going on and we were like okay we trust you get on the stretcher. He said "hell naw y'all need to see this" and stood up and dropped his pants. His scrotum was the size of a grapefruit and his penis slapped his knees.
We told him to put his pants back on so we could get him to the hospital and get him some damn pain meds. Other than that all naked people look the same to me and I really really don't give a crap what you look like cause that's not my concern. Doing that ekg or finding injuries or things like that is my main concern. jesus-christ-of-ems
Pierced.
Body Piercer here. On average, I pierce a lot of nipples. 90% of women are most uncomfortable showing their stomachs in the case of extra pounds or stretch marks. I explain that I'm not there to see the sights or to judge (I'm a fatty) but to ensure they have a good experience. TheRevSev
Shave Away...
Wife is massage therapist; some women seem to care about if they've shaved their legs or not, which is funny since I massage men's legs that are covered in way more and thicker hair than they will have. That and people are always confused on if they have to remove their underwear or not.
As a therapist it doesn't matter to me, we learn how to work around it and still help you, we just want to make sure that you the client is as comfortable as you can be. Oh, and snoring. People will apologize for snoring a lot but we don't care, honestly. SuicidlMcRib
Don't Apologize.
Women often apologize for having pubic hair which I find kinda sad. Ivehitanewlow
I was in the ER the other day and had to get an ECG. I was so upset because I hadn't shaved in forever. I was covering my armpits as the nurse was putting the "stickers" on. And then she moved to the legs and I couldn't cover them.
She could see I was feeling embarrassed and she looked at me and goes "it's an ER hun, no one comes prepared!"
Made me feel a little better. In retrospect, it was emergency, why did I care?! How bad did society mess me up that when I get injured and need help, I'm worried about my hair?! Real_Space_Captain
the public....
Anything related to the pubic region.
For women, breast exams are common in a primary care setting, and most female patients are pretty chill with it, especially a male physician. Big_Balmer_Brand
Flab.
Flab right under your armpits on your sides. I'm a bra fitter, and women constantly complain about and apologize for their back fat and fat on their sides right under their armpits. It's really not a big deal. Everyone has it, even that teeny tiny girl that looks like a stick. EleanorRigby96
Noises Off.
Massage therapist here - during abdominal massage, noises happen. Totally normal. We're getting things moving. No need to apologize for being human! courtdork13
I try to warn mine so she doesn't get it in the face. Maggiemayday
The Back Way.
X-Ray tech here, men with hairy backs. I'm looking to make sure your chest is against the plate. Don't care how hairy it is, although one guy did look like he had a fur coat on. psu777
Or woman apologizing for not getting a pedicure while their foot/ankle has been in a cam walker or cast the past 6 weeks. I don't care. I'm there to help you, not judge you. Xray_Abby
Y'all are good.....
Massage therapist here. Most women who are on my table are embarrassed about their leg stubble. Let me reassure you that we don't care if you haven't shaved your legs this week. Forget it, I haven't shaved mine in 12 months. Y'all are good. annacondah
Wash your feet....
I'm a Podiatrist (foot doctor) and people are always apologizing about their leg hair and their feet in general. Like I've had patients not want to take off their socks and shoes but still want me to help diagnose their foot problems. 90% of the time they're just plain old normal looking feet. That being said, if you haven't washed your feet in the past year...
Maybe do that before you see your Podiatrist. We are happy to help you cut hard thick nails but its the 5 month old toe jam that's the smelliest. Please wash that out before seeing me, no need for a fancy pedicure just soap and water and a good "floss between the toes" with a dry wash cloth is all I'm asking. Unless you're disabled and then of course I understand. doUBleaveNmagic
Don't Look....
Men are embarrassed of penis size (all sizes) and make it awkward by making weird comments. Women apologize for all body hair. If it's truly an issue, we clip it, if not, it's just hair. LunaLovegood567
Laugh Denied.
Decided to make a joke while getting my physical to lighten the mood, so I asked the doctor if she'd had any prior experience in microbiology while giving me a hernia check. Unfortunately we didn't share the same sense of humor, as she didn't find it as entertaining as I did. RelativelyUselessLad
Shavings....
As a massage therapist I get women that apologize for not shaving their legs that day. I honestly don't care, I didn't shave my legs for the occasion either. _MKUltraViolet
Yep, former massage therapist.
Just come in clean. You're just a slab of meat on my table.
(Unless you have a really crazy tattoo. I'll notice that, lol). helena_handbasketyyc
Pooping......
Pooping. Also farting. Like, hon, I'm here helping you (I'm a CNA) because you literally haven't pooped in like three days. The nurse and I just helped you work out the biggest shit I've ever seen--honestly I'm proud of you, and don't care that you farted for a solid minute afterwards. I'm just glad you feel better.
It's all natural bodily functions man! They made it into a children's book for a reason. And as a person with GI issues, I hate that it's so stigmatized. Even I feel the need to hold in my supremely painful BMs or gas until there's no one around, even though it makes me miserable. muse539
Most. Not All.
The size of their flaccid penis. First Of all, we don't care. Second, most penises are unimpressive when soft and cold. ArachnaMinax
Stay Calm.
Scars/acne, imperfect teeth, wrinkles everywhere. I didn't see it posted so I just wanted to say I see it all the time. Also, I'm absolutely no case is any staff member ever checking you out in the ER. Seriously, even the most single, lonely person is not judging whether you're attractive or not. We see thousands of people a day. Honestly we forget. Whatever thing you're embarrassed of, we've seen it before. But we do gossip if you're a fool about you throwing a hissy fit. betta_fische
Tummies....
Their stomach. I need to take measurements and people straight up refuse and ramble incoherently as to why their stomach isn't perfectly flat and toned. It's sad it's such a a big deal to some people, I certainly don't judge or care, I just want to do my job. yepdonewiththisshi
Smile!
I'm a dental hygienist and people are very self conscious about their teeth and breath. Honestly we can't really smell your breath at all, we wear masks, if anything we can only smell our own. And teeth are teeth, don't let them keep you from smiling. Mearyballs406
Booby Trap....
Bra fitter here. Women apologize all the time that their boobs are different sizes, when it's actually pretty rare to have a matched set. They also are ashamed of nearly every single aspect of breast shape, placement, firmness, and texture that you can imagine.
I've been doing this job for nearly a decade, and boobs are genuinely vastly different from person to person. I've probably only ever seen a half dozen pairs that look like boobs in the media, and women really think there must be something freakish about their boobs. hep632
Truth is....
Bodies come in all sizes and shapes. I'm a CNA, and I promise you, the second your clothes are back on, we've forgotten when your junk looks like. The only time we remember what you look like is when there's something unusual about it (and I don't mean size). Yeah, I remember what the guy with cancer of the penis looked like naked (he died). Why? Because his penis was a deformed trainwreck.
The weird thing is, mastectomies are so common in older women that I don't remember what individual women with mastectomies look like. I remember which ladies have one (or zero) boobs, but it's so common I cannot recall what they look like.
Nobody cares if you shave your crotch or your legs or your pits or your face.
Also, really, really fat guys "lose" their penises. Their body fat envelopes their penises and it looks like they have a second belly button. Damn_Dog_Inappropes
It's another ordinary day in America.
So of course that means we've already had a mass shooting or two before brunch.
And aside from the mass shootings, the number of single gunshot wounds or deaths is too high to count.
So let's discuss the aftermath.
Let's hear from the people who have faced the barrel of a loaded gun, or were just a casualty going about their day.
What happens after the bullet lands?
***CAUTION - SENSITIVE MATERIAL AHEAD - TRIGGER WARNING***
Redditor notaninterestingacc wanted to hear from the people who have lived the nightmare. They asked:
"Gunshot survivors of Reddit - What does it feel like to get shot?"
Guns are not a joke. Please educate yourself before you purchase.
Then the pin hit...
"I took a 7.62 to the stomach in Afghanistan. Felt like somebody had smacked with like, I dunno, a flyswatter or something. A short sharp smack. Didn’t feel much until I tried to come out of cover and I just... couldn’t. Couldn’t make my body listen to me. Then the pain hit. I’d put it at like, I dunno, an 11/10. Bullet blew off half my liver."
eyeCinfinitee
Thank you EMS...
"Chest, .357 magnum, through sternum, lung, ricochet off of rib, through scapula. Still have half under my shouldblade. Felt like I was stabbed in the chest with a hot fire poker mounted to the bottom of someone's foot when they drop kicked me. Was not expected to survive (severe blood loss), of course. Very good EMS team kept the liquids where they were supposed to and great doctors and nurses kept me going."
mndyerf**kinbusiness
Knocked Back
"I didn't really feel either of mine until about 10 minutes later. Took a grazing shot off my left arm and one in the right hip that went out my back thankfully missing my kidney. The arm felt like a bee sting the hip knocked me back a step the adrenalin at the time masked the pain."
richwith9
The Masked Men
"I was shot during a home robbery. I’m probably one of The luckiest people alive. The bullet no joke scratched my cheek and then went through the top of my ear and also a bullet grazed my wrist and opened it up. I didn’t feel anything but just liquid running down my face and my wrist was burning."
"Scariest night of my life and RIP Christian. Miss you so much buddy. Here is proof. We... https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/crime-courts/article/Man-charged-in-attempted-burglary-apartment-6236325.php Authorities said Burke and Brandon Fries, 21, fought the suspects for their guns, which were fired during the struggle."
"The two masked men fled, and investigators initially did not have any information about which direction they went or whether they escaped from the scene by car. Both Burke and Fries had been shot and were transported to Hermann Memorial Hospital in Katy. Burke was pronounced dead upon arrival at the emergency room, less than four miles away.”
Brandonfries28
Like a Rock
"I got shot in the ankle when I was 10. Honestly I thought a rock hit me. Just a slight stinging feeling. Didn't really hurt, I even kept running with my bike. Later at the hospital was a different story. The doctor tried to remove the bullet without putting me under."
"He said the pain medicine would make me forget everything. He gave up after a few minutes of hell. And, whatever he gave me didn't work as described, but it did oddly make everyone look purple from what I remember. So maybe it half worked? lol."
adamchilders
People really? How in the world do y'all get firearms?
Fleshed Off...
"Right thigh, 9mm, grazing shot across the front of the leg about 4 inches above the knee. It plowed a channel of skin and some flesh off the front. It felt searing hot like someone had laid a hot piece of metal on my leg for a second. Then, the pain went away for a while until the adrenaline wore off. It honestly hurt worse 6 hours later than it did when it happened."
morgen_benner
A slight pinch...
"I was randomly shot while walking down the street with my girlfriend in 2013. I didn't fall to the ground or anything like that. Walked into a store and told them to call the cops. It didn't hurt too bad at first. A slight pinch. The heat builds up and the pain comes in. Some throbbing as the blood pumps out. I was extremely lucky as the bullet lodged between my lower right ribs in the back just above my kidney."
"The aftermath was a really achey back. What I remember most was how everyone around me except for my girlfriend just walked around us like nothing happened. I was suffering and potentially dying and everyone just ignored it. 'Not my problem' I suppose. I lost a lot of faith in people that day."
SoggyPastaPants
Not the Head
"I accidentally discharged my 9 and I was hit in the head. While it was going on I honestly did not feel any pain but everything slowed way down. Healing and recooperating was the hardest. My mouth and jaw was wired shut for several months. Had to have complete facial reconstruction surgery."
"Had to take a piece of bone from my skull and graph it to my nose just so I could have a nose. I also had to have a feeding tube for almost a whole year. I've recovered fully and I'm very lucky. I remember mostly everything. Something's from the incident I don't remember, but for the most part, I have my memories in tact."
No-Kick1632
It Burns...
"My gf was shot, not me, but she said it felt hot and like impact but not particularly painful until much later. She was in shock and went to the hospital, after hours she said it started to hurt."
DntShadowBanMeDaddy
"This was my response too. It feels incredibly hot. It's like getting hit with a bee that's on fire. It burns like hell. But then, and only later, does is f**king hurt. The part two is that you might think you understand pressure, but get shot. It doesn't just hurt, it mashes into you."
trebuchetfight
Ricochet
"A good friend of mine got hit with a ricochet from a 9mm that hit his calf, there was drive by about a block down. He was outside of the bar smoking a cig when it happened, ran inside and felt his leg burning but decided to keep drinking. He had about 3 more drinks before someone mentioned he was bleeding… went to the ER absolutely hammered and was fine after surgery."
PM_Me_UrRightNipple
Please stay sober when handling a weapon. Please be careful in general.
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It's never attractive to gloat.
Nor does superiority ever come off as a particularly attractive attribute.
But, consciously or not, some people speak or behave in a way that immediately suggests that they think they deserve to be treated differently, i.e better than others.
Or that they believe they simply are better than other people.
A recent Redditor was curious what sort of behavior struck other people as elitist or arrogant behavior by asking:
"What screams "I am entitled"?"
Where's the fire?
"Impatience in situations where it should be just universally understood that you need patience".- c7hu1hu.
Positions of power.
"I will have you fired!"- Vergo27.
"Generally just leaving something for someone else to deal with."- Splatty_boi_420.
Sorry, but I was here first.
"People who cut in line."- Chad_Farthousse.
"People who ignore lines and cut in the front, like their time is more important than every other person patiently queueing."- ofsquire.
No one loves a tattletale.
“I’ll call my dad and tell him what you did!”- ROAM300.
Ever heard of quid pro quo?
"When they do something to you and think it’s fine but when you do it in return and they freak out."- Silvero129.
Name your price.
"I work as a ticket seller for a ski resort."
"My favorite entitled person is the guy who, upon finding out that the kid's ski lesson was sold out, offered to pay extra if I would kick someone else's kid out so his kid could have a spot."- Floranagirl.
Perhaps one of the most obvious ways to unwittingly show off your entitlement?
By being oblivious to how entitled you are.
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There's something about the woods that creeps me out. Listen here, people: I'm a city guy. The idea of getting lost out there freaks me out. No thank you. I wasn't made for that. The rest of you who like to go camping and stuff? You do you. I'll stick with my running water.
But maybe I've seen too many horror movies. After all, if I saw some creepy stuff in the woods I'd definitely run in the other direction. And so would you, right? Right?
People shared their best stories with us after Redditor shantics asked the online community,
"What have you seen in the woods that you can’t explain?"
"I stepped on what I thought was a small rock but it turned out to be weird and gelatinous. I've also seen tombstones in the woods."
his_eminence56
You just suprised it. Rocks are soft and squishy, they just tense up when you touch them! /s
"I was hiking through the remnants..."
"I was hiking through the remnants of a remote, long-abandoned town and the surrounding area. To get to as far into the woods as I was, you had to cross fallen trees over a creek three times. I had just crossed the third "bridge" and was about five miles in and something blue caught my eye just ahead of me."
"There was a man, in his sixties at least, wearing blue satin pajamas, sitting in a tree. The closer I got to him the louder he laughed; it wasn't a maniacal laugh, but it set off all the alarms in my head nevertheless. He also wasn't wearing any shoes and looked well-groomed/cleaned."
"I gave him a friendly nod as I passed and he just kept laughing. Then it stopped. I turned and he was gone. There was no branch cracking, plants rustling, nothing... He was just gone."
"Still rubs me the wrong way. The area I was in was a pretty rough hike, very secluded. Not very many people venture as deep as I was that day. No idea what was going on there."
mrwitch
“Over the Third Bridge” would be a great title for a spooky book or movie.
"Neat as a pin..."
"Fully decorated Xmas tree. Middle of summer. Neat as a pin it was, as if it had just been finished. Who ever did it came back at some point and cleaned it up, because it wasn't there next I did that trail a week or so later."
OldWomanintheWoods
This one’s not that uncommon actually. Lots of folks will decorate a tree in remembrance of someone out in the woods. Sucks when they don’t clean them up though.
"It's an interesting..."
"In Japan. A hotel was abandoned before it was ever finished being built. It only became a cement skeleton, about 5 stories high. It was left that way to eventually mold back into the forest around it."
It’s an interesting small building to explore. There are halls that are unlevel to the point of hitting your head on the ceiling (think: Willy Wonka)."
"There are stairwells that lead to nothing and one that leads to an unintentional hole in a cement wall. And on the top floor (but “inside” - as in, under the “roof”), is an old car - all smashed up - with seemingly no reason or method to have been up there."
[deleted]
This reminds me of those old abandoned amusement parks that pretty much exist to destroy me mentally.
"I once walked..."
"I once walked through the undergrowth (i.e. off the trail) with my then-girlfriend when we came across this spot where a few empty plastic bags were lying on the ground (strange because the woods are otherwise super clean), a pair of gloves and, most confusingly, the official ID card (= passport) of a young woman."
Minister_of_Joy
I would freak out and call the cops. That sounds like a murder scene.
"Many plastic bags..."
"Many plastic bags with nothing really in them but random odd things tied to trees. Sure, it could have been a homeless person but us kids att (like 12+) of us lived in those small woods behind the church every single day. We never saw anyone like that, ever. Passing through I guess, but why so many bags...still wonder."
WiseOwlBear
Do we want to know what was in them? Probably not.
"When I was a teenager..."
"When I was a teenager, I worked at a fireworks stand that was run by my friend's family. It was in a rural area: they owned a few acres of land, had the fireworks tent at the front of the property and the house towards the back, but no lights in between. My friend's mother would prepare dinner for all the workers and we'd take turns going back to the house for dinner."
"One night, I was going to the house for dinner by myself. I felt something on my arm. I thought a bug might have landed on me, but it was really dark so I couldn't see anything. I stopped walking for a second. Then I started hearing this low, raspy breathing right next to me."
"There weren't any people around me and it didn't sound anything like a bug. It was like a slow, asthmatic wheeze."
"I started getting really freaked out. I reached my hand down to my arm and felt... something larger than I expected. I furiously rubbed my hands all across my body to try and dislodge whatever this thing was, then ran as fast as I could to the house. When I finally got to the safety of the house, I could see a small red mark on my arm, but that was it."
"To this day, it's probably the most freaked out I've ever been."
[deleted]
Chills reading this! Nooo thank you!
"Several very large holes..."
"Really big holes. Several very large holes, fairly close to each other, that seem to serve no purpose. Ten feet wide, deep enough that if you jumped in you’d have to have help getting out. Was someone preparing to bury a bunch of people? Was someone punishing their kid by making them dig holes? Did they hear there was buried treasure out there?"
"We’ve never figured it out."
theyarnilama
How far apart? How neat were the holes? In a plantation or natural wood? Accessible by a small excavator?
"I once saw a huge pile of cat and dog skulls and bones about 100m from my cabin so we sold the cabin as soon as we could. It was creepy."
[deleted]
This definitely sounds like the beginning of a horror film. Did the ghosts follow you? Please report back.
"There's a small patch..."
"There's a small patch of woods where I live. You could walk across it in less than an hour. It's entirely safe and has marked trails. People somehow manage to get lost in there and I can't explain that."
ThadisJones
Did they stumble across the bounds of time and space? That might explain it. But you might be underestimating how many people lack a sense of direction.
None of this makes you want to go out into the woods, huh? Yeah, we thought so. We'll pass the next time we get an offer to go camping somewhere.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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We're all not geniuses.
Everybody has varying degrees of knowledge and brain power.
And that is ok.
Though some of us are really lacking in any sense and every once and awhile people like to sugarcoat that fact when they call us out.
"Bless your heart."
That's a big one in the South. Means... "I like you, but Lord are you missing marbles."
Redditor MrMadJoker wanted to know the most creative ways to describe people who lack a few IQ points.
They asked:
"What's your favorite euphemism for a dumb person?"
"You're missing a few pieces of the puzzle."
Said to me from my Geometry teacher. Now I know what he meant.
And... he was right.
Cents
"I could give them a penny for their thoughts and I'd get change back."
hopefulsite126
The Cells
"He's got 2 brain cells left, and they're fighting for 3rd place."
Striking_Yoghurt_690
"One more neuron and he'd have a synapse."
Bad Wheel
"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead."
ofsquire
"My old english teacher used to say 'I can smell the hamster burning.'"
cardew-vascular
"Bruh how u gonna do hamsters like that. Im dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"
Mulberry0
YOU
"You're the reason we have warning labels."
ofsquire
"My bosses comment about my non-too bright coworker 'you can’t get mad at her- she’s the reason shampoo has directions and she probably still f**ked it up…'”
Smoopiebear
"You see? Because of me, they have a warning label."
WantToBeBetterAtSex
Ok... some of this is some good comedy.
Or Puppet...
"I'm an American, but I love when British folks call people Muppets. For a long time Europe has led the way in insult innovation, and I think it's time we caught up."
JonSnow31391
Vanilla?
"Less useful than a chocolate teapot."
Pokeybumfun
"My Physics teacher used to say 'more pointless than a chocolate fireguard' whenever we had pencils that were too blunt for graph drawing hahaha."
ElegantEagle13
"German version of that is 'dumber than a piece of bread.'"
00192737292
I Like Turkey
"Shouldn't be left in charge of a ham sandwich."
accomplished_loaf
"I had a college professor who had met Gaddafi (God have mercy on him), the late dictator of Libya, and his impression was 'it would've been a shame to put that lunatic in charge of 10 chickens.'"
thefuzzybunny1
"Lol... for some reason this reminds me of Gordon Ramsay saying on Kitchen Nightmares that he wouldn’t trust a guy to run his bath, let alone his restaurant 😅."
thxitsthedepression
No Top Floor
"Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor. You're as sharp as a marble. You'd be stuck for an answer at hello (that's from Classy Freddie Blassie you pencil necked geeks)."
ferox965
"People tell me my elevator doesn't go the whole way to the top floor but I don't even HAVE an elevator."
"People tell me that too! We should go buy one~"
one_angry_custodian
Space
"My grandpa says: 'A lot of space between them ears.' Which is my absolute favorite, because a lot of people don't get it at first and just enforces the meaning."
Blobfish_Blues
Not all of us are going to break IQ records. That's ok. But these descriptions are funny.
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