Professionals Share The Strangest Thing They've Encountered In Someone Else's Home
People are weird. Okay well... we're all weird. But we all don't know that because we do so well at hiding it. If our neighbors knew what we were all hiding from one another in our homes, we'd all be sleeping with pepper spray. The service men and women of the world who enter homes on the regular hold all the real secrets. Oh the things they must see... or, the things they'll never be able to unsee! Some poor fool is arriving to unclog your toilet, he doesn't need to be witness to your crystal meth orgy.
Redditor _theknights-whosay-Ni is dying for the gossip on all the things people are hiding in their homes by asking... _People who enter homes for a living (Maintenance, cable contractors, etc), what's the strangest thing you've encountered when entering someone's home?
I HATE CRABS!
I worked for a beach house rental company when I was in college. And part of my job was to go inspect houses to make sure that everyone had left before the cleaners came. So there was this one house. The renters had left on Friday. But because of some holiday, cleaners weren't going to be there until Monday. I walked in the house on Monday morning and was hit in the face with something pungent and wrong.
The smell was incredibly strong. Whatever was there had been there a couple of days. It was the kind of organic rot that doesn't just happen overnight. I looked all over the house. I couldn't find anything out of sorts. The house was, actually, remarkably clean. I go into the kitchen and the smell is strongest there, but I can't find its source. The refrigerator was empty and clean, the garbage cans had been emptied, and I couldn't figure out where this awful smell of death was coming from.
Then I opened the dishwasher. And the smell was so bad that I almost threw up and passed out. So, here's the thing. There used to be this trendy life hack thing where you could essentially steam fish in the dishwasher. What you do is you take a piece of fish and you wrap it in foil and you put it in the dishwasher on the top rack and you run it on a cycle without detergent. And the heat from the steam and hot water cooks the fish.
Welp, these geniuses decided that they were going to do that, but with crabs. So they jammed about three dozen live crabs into the dishwasher, and then filled the detergent tray with Old Bay seasoning. They must have been drunk when they tried this. And it didn't work. Worse, once they realize that the dishwasher wasn't hot enough to cook or even kill all the crabs, they gave up. But they didn't take any of the crabs out of the dishwasher.
In any event, they let the things sit there. And sit there. And sit there. Nobody cleaned it out, despite the smell that was growing in the house. I'll never forget that smell. Clever idea. Absolutely atrocious execution.
LET BUGS GO!
I used to do estimates for a solar energy company. One house I went to in Pennsylvania was an old 1800's farm house. People who lived there seemed normal other than a bunch of clutter all around. That quickly changed... Asked to see their breaker panel in the basement and was led down a winding skinny stair case to a dirt floor basement with no ventilation (doors, windows) and no less than 100+ rabbits. IN CAGES. FLOOR TO CEILING. ENTIRE PERIMETER OF THE BASEMENT. Felt like I was breathing through a straw because of the ammonia from the rabbit pee and poop that was covering the floor. Asked if they breed and sell rabbits or something and he answers "kinda." I'm positive that was their main food source for the family and rabbit was on the menu every night of the week.
NOW I'M GOING TO CRY...
I deliver pizza. The creepiest thing I ever saw was a corridor in a house lined with pictures/painting of crying children. Just...why?
Another customer had a almost naked life sized world of Warcraft character right behind the door. I jumped the first few times I went to his place.
We arrive at the house, the owners are gone. We get to cleaning. We notice they have a lot of seagull memorabilia around the house. We are then told that the owners have a pet seagull. Every day at 3pm, they come home and feed a single seagull a hot dog they cook just for it.
And apparently they've been doing this for years. So sure enough, we looked for the seagull but couldn't find one.
3 PM comes around and the owners come home. Right as we are leaving, one lone seagull swoops down, perched on their porch, and they started cooking it's hot dog. That was interesting to say the least.
50 SHADES ALL DAY...
I was moving ceiling tiles in order to run a new line, and a sex swing fell out. It was bolted into the 8x8 main support. Needless to say the line I was running took a slight detour.
NEVER SLEEP AGAIN...
I'm not the one entering homes, but we recently underwent renovations at my family home. When I was 18, my parents commissioned a painting for me that was meant to showcase my love for a certain video game series. (It's tradition to get a portrait done when we hit 18 in my family.)
The painting turned horrifically - a very realistic version of my face plastered on an anime-style body next to the main character of the series, who was also in an anime style (it was based off of key art from the series). Worst of all, this painting is like 1.5 meters tall and hanging on the wall that is immediately facing the door. I can't take it down lest I offend my parents, as they don't think it looks "THAT bad."
I'm pretty sure I scarred the guy for life. That, or he things I'm obsessed/in love with a cartoon.
SHARPEN THE BLADES...
I used to do hvac and one time i went to go fix a guys furnace and he was pretty wasted. He ended up being a interesting guy. He was a pilot and then they let him go for "no reason." was in the army. Very smart but paranoid guy. Always thought we were going to get bombed (I'm from Canada). Anyways when i went downstairs he had a ton of throwing knives and tons of thick wood with holes right through it. He ended up giving me some tips and wrote like 5 pages about how to throw knives and gave it to me and a few free knives. I wish I kept them.
PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE SCENE...
I was a cable installer.
I worked all over Southern California. I had people answer the door with guns, answer the door butt naked, even answer it with someone tied up in the living room (sexually).
YOU DIRTY RAT...
I'm a Code Enforcement Officer for my City, and recently I responded to a complaint about a house that had dead rats all over the outside, and according to the complaint, it was so bad, you could see rats crawling in the yard and through the windows. We get a lot of people complaining about rats, and RARELY is it an actual rat problem. Usually, it's just mice. I had already issued orders on this house for something else, and had been in contact with the owner. When I went to speak with her previously, I was nearly knocked off the porch by the smell on her, but I couldn't see anything inside the house, and I can't write a violation notice on a person's hygiene.
Well, I went back to investigate to claim of dead rats outside in the yard, and sure enough, there are at least four of them just in the front yard. Based on this, the smell, and complaints from the neighbors and even a police officer, I probably could have obtained a search warrant, but I decided to contact the owner and see if she would let me in. I had asked once and she said no, but it was worth a shot.
When I called her, she said that she was having a problem with her roommate, and wasn't spending much time there anymore. She asked if I could do anything to help get him out of the house. I told her that I couldn't help her evict anyone, but if the sanitary conditions inside were as bad as I suspected, my inspection might result in him being vacated. I asked what the inside of the house was like, and she said that the floors in the kitchen were just bad and needed to be replaced. But still she agreed to let me in.
A few days later, I showed up with my supervisor and a city police officer (her roommate had a violent criminal record). We go inside, partially at the roommate's request because he had the nerve to call in a complaint on her, and find a house that I now call The Jumanji House, because it looks like we interrupted a game. The rat infestation was so bad, I observed multiple of them running around, one even brushed passed my boot. Anyone who knows about vermin and pests can attest to the fact that an infestation has to be VERY bad to even see one in the daytime. The carpets and floor were covered in rat droppings and dog poo. The floor in the kitchen was indeed bad, so bad that they had to move the fridge into the living room to stop it from sinking into the basement.
At one point, the roommate was showing us around, and as he entered one of the bedrooms, he stopped short and looked at us and said, "Oh. Um, this looks bad." My supervisor and I just looked at each other, wondering what the hell could be in there that was any worse than the rest of the house - perhaps a portal to hell?! It was just a freshly killed rat on a dresser that he hadn't yet tossed out the window.
Yeah, we vacated them immediately.
PEOPLE ARE INTO WHAT THEY'RE INTO...
My brother in law interned with a law enforcement agency, got close with his supervisors. One of the supervisors told him a story about a time he was a patrol officer in Georgia. They were doing some investigation into a crime (something not super major, like auto theft or something). They knock on this guys door to ask him a couple questions. A young woman answers and says the man isn't home, and that she rents out a room from him. They ask her a few questions, what's this guy like? Any odd behaviors or schedule? She says, yeah, I'm actually trying to move out of this place, this guy is super weird. She cracks the door open so the officers can see inside. In the living room there is a crockpot full of sex toys. She tells them there is a similar crockpot in every room of the house.
There are few things more annoying than when you are seeking advice and someone responds with a boring platitude that helps no one. Believe it or not, if you choose to provide advice, it needs to be specific to the situation and shouldn't be dressed up in trite phrasing. Does saying, "Keep your head up" actually contribute anything if that's all you have to say when someone comes to you in search of a listening ear?
But this goes deeper than just advice, to be fair. Some of us are sick of greedy corporations that stress the importance of being a "family" while refusing to pay proper wages. Still more of us are tired of people using certain language when other language can suffice.
After Redditor BensReddits asked the online community, "What is a phrase you absolutely hate hearing?" people shared their stories.
"At any sort of conference..."
At any sort of conference/gathering/presentation:
"How're you all doing today?!? C'mon, I know you can answer louder than that! HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING TODAY?!"
Instant resentment every time.
I second that resentment.
I attended a conference once where the main speaker did this several times in the span of thirty minutes as he announced different initiatives.
Such a headache.
"At my work..."
At my work upper management has started using the word "activate" a lot. As in, "We are working on plans to activate underutilized spaces." And, "Let's activate a few other teams on this." It just sounds silly to me and like they are trying too hard to avoid using simple, perfectly adequate language.
I'll take your "activate" and give you...
What is wrong with the word "use"?
"I was born in Australia..."
"Your English is so good!"
Thank you, I was born in Australia and English is literally my first language. My standard response these days is, "Oh thank you, yours too!"
This one is especially annoying...
...if you're not alabaster white.
This is a big one:
"Where are you from? No I mean where are you from."
Also annoying if you're not alabaster white.
"Someone saying to a teenager..."
Someone saying to a teenager, "These are the best years of your life!" I am in my mid-40s now and most people my age remember high school as horrible and awkward. The more appropriate thing to say is, "Hang in there kid! I promise life gets better. Just get through adolescence the best you can."
High school sucked.
My life vastly improved in my 20s. Let's not convince teenagers that they have nothing to look forward to after high school's over and done with.
"That's nothing... " when I tell them something only for them to turn it onto a competition and say something worse that happened to them.
The chronic one-upper.
"But she's your mother!"
Yeah, well she should've acted like one.
"I've heard it from people..."
"When you have your own children you'll understand."
I've heard it from people who don't understand that I want nothing more than my own family but being pregnant will kill me, and when I bring up adoption as a valid way of having children they'll buckle down on that phrase as to say adopted kids are not the same. It's disheartening to hear as a formal foster child and has reinforced my beliefs that no one really saw me as enough. Why would you say that to someone? All kids are the same and those without kids shouldn't be dismissed.
"I lost my daughter..."
"God has a plan" or "It happened for a reason."
I lost my daughter when I was 36 weeks in because of a sudden placental abruption followed by a uterine rupture, lost 2.2 litres of blood. I can't carry again without risking the child or myself. And I had to listen to a variety of phrases that made me want to hit those people. Those two were the worst. Followed by "You can try again" or "Did you get the child baptized?" (got this one only once though).
"Who on earth..."
"When are you going to have kids?"
Who on earth are you to not only insist I should stop and redirect my whole life for kids, but then put me on the spot and make up a timetable to change my whole life? Not everyone wants kids.
Now that you've learned a thing or two...
...you could say that all of the responses here are an exceptional opportunity to improve your social skills.
Have some of your own stories to share? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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Dating is difficult––and truth be told, I don't know how anyone can do it right now, what with a pandemic going on and all. Just the thought stresses me out. Dating is especially hard for people who defy expectations in a heteronormative society. Take bisexuals, for example.
Bisexuals have been open about their struggles maintaining relationships with both men and women, even having to lie about their sexuality if they want to date certain people.
"I feel like if I end up in a straight relationship, I'll look like I was just experimenting all these years, but if I end up in a gay relationship people will say I was never actually bisexual," one man told the BBC in 2019. "Then if I don't have a monogamous relationship people will say I'm just greedy."
Indeed, the pressure to be either gay or straight can be a lot to navigate. After Redditor Trevor-on-Reddit asked the online community, "Bisexual people who have dated both genders, what are some notable differences you've learned about dating both men and women?" bisexuals spoke candidly about their experiences. Take note: You might learn something new.
We all know someone who really cannot figure out even the most basic thing without copious amounts of help. But when you meet someone who is completely and totally past all help, how do you even begin to try to help them get along?
Most of the time, they will just be flustered, or they won't listen. And you have to just stand Idly by and watch them fail.
What is your "This person has no idea how the real world works" moment?
Here were some of those stories.
The Boot, Not The Camp
When I was in boot camp, some kid put his letter addressed to 'mom' with no address attatched.
I was gonna say that its not that stupid for a very young kid to do that, but then I realized you said boot camp and not summer camp.
Don't Steal Dangerous Chemicals
A student working part time at my laboratory at a University came into my office and asked "so what all can I eat in the refrigerator, I didn't know I was supposed to bring my own lunch". I looked at him, stunned and replied "nothing, that food is what people brought for their own lunch, but you can use my grub hub to order". He DID NOT UNDERSTAND. It took 4 tries to get him to realize he can't just eat someone else's lunch.
Same student: I walked into the lab room and told him I made a full pot of coffee in the office and he could help himself. Him: "a pot of coffee? What's that?" He never used a coffee maker other than a Kuerig before and didn't even know it was a thing.
He was fired a month later for stealing chloroform.
No Ma'am, Like, REAL Bears
At a national park, the park ranger says "stay on the trails, there are bears in the area."
One lady says "isn't that dangerous? Why aren't they in their cages?"
"Ma'am, we're not a zoo."
These people are lucky to make it out of bed every day.
Sleeping On The Job
I lived with some Japanese exchange students during the final summer of college. They were really nice girls, but one of them (Mari) (~19 years old) obviously had no idea how anything worked. She spoke the best English and I was tutoring some of the other girls, while they helped me with my Japanese.
But Mari would constantly call me to come to get her because she thought we had free buses (all the buses). After all, we were students. That wasn't the issue. I could deal with that. It was a whole new culture. She was learning.
But what happened that made me realize Mari could not be left on her own was when she ended up in Eloy, Arizona. Which was ~400 miles and five hours from where we were. She had been talking to some guy on campus, he said he was visiting family in Arizona, and she said "I want to go."
He just took her with him, and she went without even telling us. She had just assumed the guy would take her back, but he said he couldn't because he was staying in Arizona. So I had to arrange a ticket, get her on the bus via the phone, and then pick her up two hours away because she missed her second bus by napping.
How...? What...? Huh...?
Had a friend who was in some uncredited scam online college for her master's degree in medical billing or something. She was on a loan program that was sending her about $5k every 3 months directly to her via check in the mail.
This was her only source of income. She kept calling it a grant that didn't need to be paid back. She was flat broke as a joke for 2 months but then the check would come in and she would be living the good life for a few weeks before being poor again.
We tried to do an intervention and show her the insane interest rate that would be back dated as soon as her "school" was done but she didn't want anyone to bust her free money dreams.
She just kept talking about all the money she would eventually be making billing insurance companies...turns out she wasn't even logging in to the online college or even attempting to get this degree.
She thought the money was free, the degree was automatic and the job was guaranteed. Some people are beyond help.
Such Brilliant. So Money. Wow
My boss told me about a friend of his, who told him af a "life hack". She would get her bills in the mail, NOT pay them, and then wait a couple of months to pay. Then she would cry so the debt collectors would feel bad and waive the fees for not paying on time. That was her "brilliant life hack"
Himbo Rights Activist
The other day, my 18yo brother-in-law got married to his highschool sweetheart in a parking garage so that they can live off campus at college together.
Girlfriend's, now wife, mother is an ordained minister. His parents, my in-laws, were very upset and he couldn't understand why because "it's just a fake marriage for school". Oh no, sweet boy. You are MARRIED. I just laughed and laughed. I love him dearly. He is a dumb*ss.
And yet somehow they are there to add these stories to our dull, dull days.
A dude (18 yo) in boot camp got a letter from home and I can see he is agitated. Being 22 and concerned for his well-being, I asked him if he wanted to talk about it. (I'm thinking a Dear John letter or the Mom and Dad divorcing letter.)
He dead *ss told me that his younger brother got a Mercedes for his birthday and that he was pissed bc he "only got a BMW". Can't remember what I said, but I knew boot camp was gonna knock down. (It did.)
Who Pays Your Bills?
When my roommate, who never once paid for rent or groceries or anything, turned down the only job offer they have ever gotten, in front of me, TWICE.
They were so desperate they called him twice, offering good pay, during covid, and he had the gaul to say no in front of me. His excuse was "nah I'm sure there's something better. $20 an hour is garbage in this city" -_-
Just Read ONE Parenting Book
I worked for a clueless couple who had no idea how to raise a kid. He wore the same outfit everyday for a month until I gently suggested that he needs new clothes. His parents asked me "Where can we get baby clothes?" This was slightly hilarious given that they lived above a Target and next to a baby boutique.
I had to have the same conversation once the child was old enough for solid foods. I was asked "Where can we get baby food?" I had to explain that most grocery stores carry a baby aisle, or that she can mash up her own fruits at home for the baby. This family decided that sour cream would be a great first food for their baby!
I'll mention that this was a wealthy family who went on vacation at least 2-3 times a month. By far the weirdest thing they did was try and drop off Grandma at daycare along with the baby.
Stories like this make you feel like the most well-equipped, with it person alive, right?
We're all well aware of the weird, horrible, predatory things men do when attracted to women. But what about when women are the culprits?
Though it seems that, statistically, men are problematic at a WAY higher rate than women, there are certainly times where the person bringing the creepy vibes is, indeed, the woman.
Some men of Reddit gathered to share the most bizarre and uncomfortable things a woman has ever said.
AidenTheGamer14 asked, "Men of Reddit, what is the creepiest thing a girl has ever said or done to you?"
For some, it was the stalkers.
The cryptic behavior and frightening detective work of ex-lovers can be unparalleled.
Some Light Sleuthing
"Found out my address from the phone book, this was the 90s, sat outside my house for multiple nights, all night just watching my house, I live in the middle of the woods miles outside of town."
"We only had one date and agreed to leave it at that. I found out sometime later what she had been doing."
"Girl I was dating asked if I had changed the locks since breaking up with my ex months prior. I'm like 'No, but she wasn't a crazy person so I never worried about it.' She says if I don't change the locks she ain't comfortable sleeping over, so I change the locks."
"This ex sends me an angry text the next day 'So you changed your locks huh? Real nice a**hole.' So she had been coming over this whole time and doing who knows what."
She Stopped at Nothing
"She kept writing me letters at every address I lived at during that five-year period. If she didn't have the address she'd send them care of my parents. The most memorable is the one where she told me she was married and 'he's a great guy but he's not you.' "
"Once not long after I'd moved to a new address I came home and found a box of cookies she'd FedExed to me. Eventually I moved to a new state. I knew from her return addresses that she lived and worked there, and was worried we'd run into each other but realized that was pretty unlikely."
"Then after less than a year, she found me through a blog I was keeping and left a message on my voicemail demanding we meet. I posted a message to her on my blog telling her to stop harrassing me or I'd call the police (up to that point I'd been ignoring her, hoping she'd take the hint). That night she called, I repeated my threat to bring the authorities in, and I haven't heard from her since."
Others dealt with the creepiness on the internet. With so many avenues of communication all around us, uncomfortable comments can come from all directions.
"Someone I considered a friend started to grow feelings for me, but when she found out I had a girlfriend and I didn't feel the same for her she found out who my girlfriend was somehow. She then DM'd her and tried to tell her that I was cheating on her with her."
"Luckily I was with her when she got that DM so I could explain the situation and then we blocked her. Next day she DM'd her again from an alt account."
Worst Kind of Pen Pal
"I started a new job, and I shared a small office with a woman my age (and a couple other people). She was kinda cute but also weird and super naïve (she grew up in a very rural area). She'd flirt with me a lot, but I wasn't interested."
"So she started sending me emails."
"They were super long, detailing her whole day. And she sent them to me every day. I never responded. Then one day she sent me this long email confessing her love. I replied with the (very obvious) reasons why it wouldn't work and asked her to stop sending me emails every day. She didn't."
"They kept coming. This went on for months. I asked her in person and online to stop, but I still got these email memoirs every day. Eventually I had another female office mate who was her friend have a talk with her. Finally the emails stopped."
That's A Lot of Passwords
"I've had a girl create about 50 different Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram accounts all to try to get me to friend her. I've never met this woman in person and yet every few weeks I'll get a handful of friend requests from her"
"Met this girl online and talked to her a bit. I did started to like her."
"Later found out that the pic she showed me of herself was actually a pic of her friend who had passed away due to cancer."
In my early 20's I was at a party and the hosting woman full-on tried to reach down my pants to grab my business."
"Strange, yes, what made it creepy is that we were right in front of her mother, who was cheering her on."
Breaking Out the Scroll
"After 6 months from our breakup, my ex called me because she wanted to see me. It seemed strange to me but I accepted. When we met she was friendly and all..."
"Then at a certain point she pulls a sheet in which there was written a list of all men she fu**ed after our relationship and she read it all to me, with accurate description of every sexual intercourse. Well it was an awkward moment."
"I was going to head home after a night out and a I was getting into my taxi a girl jumped in after me. I asked what they were doing and she said 'I'm coming home with you.' "
"Nope. Taxi driver helped me and she got out the car eventually when I shot down her advances."
Again, it's important to read this thread and remember that this is a bias sample, solely focused on the incidents where a woman did act creepy.
But, yes, it happens out there.
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