Professionals Reveal The Dumbest Question a Client Has Ever Asked Them[rebelmouse-image 18358963 is_animated_gif=
Anyone who has to interact with clients or customers on a regular basis knows that people asked some really dumb things. Retail and call centers probably get the brunt of it, but obliviousness doesn't discriminate. Sometimes you just have to marvel at it, and then throw your head back and laugh. Yet, somehow, people function in society...
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Not thinking straight? Or just dumb?[rebelmouse-image 18358964 is_animated_gif=
Working in the back of an ambulance on a patient with a serious need of nitroglycerin to lower their blood pressure.
"Sir, before I give this medication to you, I need to triple check that you have not taken any ED drugs in the last 72 hours like Viagra or Cialis(rattles off all variations). If you have taken it and I give you this nitroglycerin, your blood pressure could drop dangerously low.
Have you taken any of these meds?
-Oh no, never.
Are you certain?
-oh yes, of course I am.
(Runs through potential deadly side effects again)
OK, hold this pill under your tongue.
-Does generic viagra count?
GAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! Why do you do this?
Why won't this work? I tried nothing.[rebelmouse-image 18358327 is_animated_gif=
I get too many dumb questions to remember them all. Here's a dumb encounter that happened just yesterday. When sending confidential documentation, we would encrypt it and put a password on it. It's common practice to send the document and the password in two separate e-mails. I got a message from this guy saying he couldn't open the document I sent him.
Me: "Did you use the password?"
Client: "Yes. It said there was an error."
Me: "What password did you use?"
Client: "I just hit OK and it said that I had the wrong password."
Me: "Wait.. so did you type anything in?"
Client: "Well no."
Me: "Could you use the password that we provided you?"
Client: "I didn't think it would work so I deleted the e-mail."
What do you mean it wasn't a two-fer?[rebelmouse-image 18356705 is_animated_gif=
When I sent them an invoice. Sigh...
I work for an accounting firm. We did a project for them, wrapped it up, and billed it. A few months later, they came back with another project. So we did the work and gave them a bill.
They somehow thought that the new project was covered under the previous invoice.
We have wireless-charging laptops now?[rebelmouse-image 18358966 is_animated_gif=
A long time ago now...
Got a call that a user's laptop was dead and wouldn't power on.
I go and check it out. Press the button, no life. Plug it into the power, it starts charging. Press the button, it boots just fine.
The user wasn't plugging the laptop into power because she "thought we had wireless".
If you didn't reserve it, it's not reserved for you...[rebelmouse-image 18358967 is_animated_gif=
A group of four ladies sat on a table that is reserved for a group of regulars every day. Before I opened my mouth to let them know, one says 'we see a reserved sign but we are unsure exactly how "reserved" it is?'
Silly vet, boys don't have nipples.[rebelmouse-image 18358968 is_animated_gif=
Vet tech. A lot of people think their dog's nipples are ticks. A lot. One man even pulled a "but he's a boy!" on us.
What do you mean I have no money? This is a bank! Bank has money.[rebelmouse-image 18358969 is_animated_gif=
I used to work as a bank teller. A lady came up to me and asked to withdraw money. I informed her that she couldn't withdraw money, because her account was overdrawn. She was immediately upset, so I had her account checked for fraud. She then explained that all those charges were hers and she wasn't expecting any payments. She was spending money she knew she didn't have.
She then asked me why we couldn't just give her more money.
And math apparently isn't a thing.[rebelmouse-image 18348911 is_animated_gif=
"But why isn't there any money in my account? I put $500 in the other day!"
You check the account and see that they did indeed put $500 in the other day, but various bills have come out and they have made multiple purchases since then. So you go through every single transaction with them. The customer verifies every single one. You get to the end. "But why isn't there any money in my account? I put $500 in the other day!"
You go back and tell them what their account balance was when they deposited the $500. You go through each transaction again, this time telling the customer the balance of their account every time a transaction went through. They nod and again verify every single transaction and agree with each account balance you give them. You get to the end, hoping they'll finally understand that the reason they don't have any money is that they spent it all.
"But why is there no money in my account? I put $500 in the other day!"
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Just bizarre? Nah, this is dumb. Then again, it's not like credit card signatures are checked...[rebelmouse-image 18358970 is_animated_gif=
For my name.
Not the question itself but the reason why he asked. I was volunteering as a cashier at a used bookstore for the library---not my regular job but I do it often. In comes this older fella who buys a big stack of books for like ten bucks. He was really nice and chatty though he didn't seem completely aware mentally. Not a big deal, I just had to explain sales tax and the book pricing a couple times before he seemed to get it. He pays by credit card and I explain to him how to sign the touchscreen for the payment to go through. This is where he asks for my name. I tell him. He takes the iPad and says he really appreciated my service and happily tells me he's going to sign my name for the card so "they" will know to send the money to me. Before I can say "no wait," he's submitted the signature. I can't see his receipt but he keeps telling me I was great and to keep the change so I can assume he was being legit.
I honestly wouldn't call it dumb; just bizarre. Made me wonder if he's been signing cashier names the entire time he's had a credit card. Thank goodness the card companies never check those things.
The mystery may never be solved.[rebelmouse-image 18358971 is_animated_gif=
Mildly relevant: I used to work the counter in parts at Subaru and my manager was helping a customer (a rare occurrence for him) and he turned to me and asked me "How many days do we have for a 45 day return?"
Every night, the Washington Monument's bricks are rearranged, just to mess with people.[rebelmouse-image 18358973 is_animated_gif=
I work at a famous monument and I kid you not I've had people ask me whether we take it down at the end of each day, or whether it's been rearranged since they last visited.
I suggest you go.[rebelmouse-image 18357790 is_animated_gif=
When I asked, "For here or to go?" I got a confused look followed by "What would you recommend?"
It's obviously an abstract fence, a metaphorical fence.[rebelmouse-image 18349371 is_animated_gif=
Selling paint. Woman wants to paint her fence. I give her advice and explain to her how to prepare the surface. She then asks:
"Do I need anything to apply the paint?"
I'm like "Yeah a roller or a brush..."
She's like "Oh, I can just splash the paint on the fence?"
She was dead serious.
Woman, this is not Looney Tunes, this is the real world!
Fax machines aren't teleporters guys.[rebelmouse-image 18354689 is_animated_gif=
I worked at Kinkos and on 3 separate occasions, different people angrily asked me why I returned their faxed document to them. They thought that a fax machine was some kind of Willy Wonka thing that sent their original piece of paper to the recipient.
What a world it would be if cash could be faxed. Really?[rebelmouse-image 18358974 is_animated_gif=
I used to work in a call center for a large bank and a customer phoned while he was in one of the branches and said the queue was too big so he wanted me to help him. I asked what his query was and he said the ATM was broke so he had to withdraw cash. I asked how I could possibly help him withdraw cash from the bank over the phone and he said: "Why can't you just fax it to me?"
As daft as it sounds, I first asked him if he had a fax machine on him because if he wanted me to fax it to the branch he would still have to queue up to receive the money. He didn't have a fax machine on him.
What are these funny symbols and numbers on all your products?[rebelmouse-image 18358977 is_animated_gif=
C: How much is this?
Me: 50c, like the sticker says.
C: And this one?
Me: $1. All the items have labels on them with how much they cost.
C: Oh is that what those mean? That's clever.
(Not the slightest bit of sarcasm in their voice. I pressed slightly and found they were genuinely unaware of price labels.)
Nah, this job I'm doing isn't my job. I tow people's cars for fun.[rebelmouse-image 18358978 is_animated_gif=
While towing his car to a dealership, "So what do you do for a living?"
He was serious. He assumed I had another job because I didn't fit the Billy Bob persona he associated with tow truck drivers.
Ma'am, that's not how a library works.[rebelmouse-image 18358979 is_animated_gif=
Library. Once I checked out several books to a woman and told her the return date. She looked at her friend, then back at me, and said, shocked, "You mean I have to bring the books BACK?"
At some point, just bring him a salad with sauce on it.[rebelmouse-image 18358980 is_animated_gif=
I work at an Italian restaurant and this guy was looking at ordering a salad, and when I asked what dressing he wanted he kept going back to the pasta sauces and asking " Sugo, that would be good on it, wouldn't it! I'll get that" and I tried to explain " sir, those are for the pastas, you got the Mediterranean salad" and he responded " you're right; maybe carbonara (another sauce).. I don't get what he wasn't understanding. He seemed like a normal smart dude but he just couldn't comprehend the difference between the dressings and sauces
What is "real?"[rebelmouse-image 18358981 is_animated_gif=
I used to work at a fine jewelry kiosk in a mall. Our jewelry included items like gold bracelets and necklaces bonded with Sterling silver, Sterling silver rings with cubic zirconia gems, gold engagement rings with diamond chips clustered together rather than one large diamond, etc. I had a lot of regulars, and this one woman would come in often and ask for every item she was interested in, "Is this real?" I explained what "bonded" means and how we don't sell diamond rings for $25, but that the rings were indeed certified Sterling silver with synthetic gems. I gave her information like this over and over again, day after day, and she would follow up every explanation with, "Okay, but...is it real?"
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
WHERE TO BEGIN?!
The list is endless.
Half the time all it takes to be better is a little effort.
RedditorMidoriSpicewanted to hear about the lack of skills some people really need to acquire when it comes to sexy time. They asked:
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
I love sex. But it can be stressful. I've always found connection to be one of the best lessons.
CommunicationsGIF by HULUGiphy
"Assuming they already know what their partner wants/likes and doesn't communicate or take any instructions."
Take it Slow
"No foreplay and not caring if your partner is enjoying it."
"I had an ex who literally never wanted to do any kind of foreplay. He just wanted basically sex of any kind for him. He said oral on women was gross."
"Proposing mid intercourse."
"Honestly? With the partner I have, I'd think it was pretty hot and romantic lmao. I'd check in after the deed to make sure he was serious but our relationship is already very serious so it wouldn't be a big deal."
Talk to Me
"Not talking or making any noises. We don't have to dirty talk the whole time or even at all but you gotta let me know you're enjoying it at least."
"I think there's some balance between having some small talk, silence, and dirty talk while being in bed with someone. Or maybe that's just been my experience. I don't know--I think there's some fun in trying to carry a side conversation while having sex lol."
"Friction isn’t always a good thing."
YuckBored Larry Bird GIF by SB NationGiphy
"To this you can add unclipped fingernails."
"And dirty fingernails. Nah, ma'am. I’m betting this is not worth the infection. Thanks."
‘good at sex’
"I have a feeling most men will say 'lack of enthusiasm' and that most women will say 'being selfish about pleasure.'"
"I’m a woman and my first thought was lack of enthusiasm, but my own lack of enthusiasm. The only bad sex I’ve had is when I don’t genuinely want to be there. I’ve had sex with guys who weren’t ‘good at sex’ but still enjoyed it because I was really into them."
"They are convinced they know more about what works for you than you know yourself. Just cause your ex-lover Pat liked technique X doesn't mean everyone does."
"Have experienced this, it sucks. He wouldn’t listen to what I enjoyed, didn’t want me to say ANYTHING even if it hurt or wasn’t working, and would just say something along the lines of 'every other woman I’ve been with liked it.' I’m thinking, all you’ve had are one-night stands, really, so they probably didn’t say anything."
"I’ve had numerous partners and love sex. Crashed and burned with this one and he really crushed my self-esteem and sexual confidence."
"The biggest thing is always going to be selfishness and the inability/refusal to communicate and listen to your partner. I've seriously had a guy yell 'I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!' when I was trying to tell him how I liked whatever he was doing. He then got even more upset when I said 'did you just f**king yell at me? Alright, off, I'm done.'"
FlavorsAmanda Seales Wow GIF by truTVGiphy
"Lack of variety. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean crazy kinks or positions from the karma sutra, but more when it's really predicable. I has an ex that had this weird routine of positions, it was exactly the same every single f**king time in exactly the same order."
Sex. Let's be better at it.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Love is so elusive these days isn't it?
Who knows what anyone is looking for in the relationship department anymore.
It's all too exhausting.
But people we keep trying.
RedditorProblemNice5257wanted to hear why so many people are still on the hunt for that perfect one. They asked:
"Why are you single right now?"
I'm single because I've given up. And I'm good. For now.
PeaceSnoop Dogg Reaction GIFGiphy
"I put absolutely no effort into meeting someone."
"Same! Also it's extremely difficult when you feel so at peace being by yourself. The fact that I have to find someone whose presence outweighs my level of comfort being alone seems impossible."
"Hard to meet people when you are a hermit."
"Yeah, I describe myself as a shut-in, lol. I leave my apartment to work, I leave my apartment to buy food, and occasionally I’ll bring out the trash, otherwise I just watch Hulu, play online chess, surf Reddit."
"Same. I've spent months trying to find an apartment I can afford without a roommate and finally settled on a small studio apartment for $1100 a month because I'd rather living in a tiny space and be left the hell alone than share a much nicer place even with a good friend."
"I have too many unsolved issues, i can't in good conscience bring someone else into them."
"Idk your issues but everyone's got some crap. Not sure how unique yours are but everyone's got some crap. It's good to share some of your struggles with other people. Just don't open with it haha."
"Issues unresolved or not, (in my case) only makes it worse when you feel like you could open up to them, and they just take those to use it against yourself afterwards."
"I hardly go out and expose myself to people. I'm uncomfortable with the notion of myself being in a relationship at this point. Also, I'm very dry in terms of personality."
"I spent a year entirely isolated due to covid and now I can't handle physical contact. It makes me really uncomfortable and a hug is enough to make my body shut down. I'm hopeless."
truthCaptain America Lol GIF by mtvGiphy
"Supply chain issue."
"Best answer here."
That's funny. But it feels oddly true.
Ahhh...Think Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy
"I'm attracted to many, and unattractive to all."
"Last relationship was so toxic, I've sworn off dating, at least for awhile. I haven't had this much free time in ages. It's nice."
"Edit: Hey, it's really great hearing from so many people with similar experiences. Like many of you, I've been taking it in stride and focusing on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. It's done wonders for my health and I feel a whole lot better. I wish y'all the very best. Stay excellent, my friends."
"I'm 35yr old single father to a 5yr old and I work nights. It's hard to find free time to meet someone, especially in my area. If I do have free time to myself, I like staying home and ordering a pizza while drinking some beers and playing video games. I pretty much faced the fact that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life."
"I was in an 8 year relationship (married for two) to my high school sweetheart. Exactly this same time last year, we got divorced because I found out he was cheating on me with my best friend. The best friend I had known LONGER than him and was friends with since fourth grade."
"She was living with us to try to get back on her feet. Yeah lol. So I lost my best friend and the man I had been with for 8 years within the same night. So I moved to another state, got an apartment by myself, and am now single and divorced all by 26. Not really looking unless the right person comes along."
"It’s pretty happy and peaceful now that they’re both out of my life though honestly. You realize people’s toxicity and flaws the most once you get space away from them."
Bad LoopSeth Meyers Whatever GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"Because my relationships end before they even begin."
"This is my story right here."
Alright. Now that we've laid out all the excuses, let's get to matching with some people.
There is no bigger mystery than what happens to us after we die.
But even those who don't practice an organized religion tend to believe that there is a Heaven, a happy joyful place where our souls will remain for eternity.
No two people share the same idea of what heaven would be like, but everyone who believes in it probably has an idea of the first thing they'd do after entering the pearly gates.
Redditor WeDidItGuyz was curious to hear what would be top on everyone's list upon entering the afterlife, leading them to ask:
"If heaven exists, what’s the first thing you’d do?"
Overcome with joy
"In all reality?"
"Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my humanity has now been lifted."
"If Heaven exists, like 50% of the awesomeness is just the very fact that it exists."heaven gate GIF by South Park Giphy
A re-match long in the making
"Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race."
"He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag."
"When I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again."
"We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago."
"I wanna race him both in our prime."- Abethegreat1
Reunite with loved ones
"Find my husband, give him a huge hug and never let go again."
"Live our forever together."
"I f*cking love him and miss him so much."- jessdfrench
"Embrace my sweet wife and tell her how proud I am of the kids."- RifleShower
"Try to find my brother."
"Man, I miss him."
"He died in 2020 at age 34."- grummlinds1
"Give my mum and dad a big hug."- goonerjack007Miss U GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
Achieve the "firsts" we never got to do
"Find my son and have a beer with him."
"Something we never got to do in real life."- tanukis_parachute
Hone new skills
"Try to play Smoke on the water on my harp."- Ashtar-the-Squid
The joy of doing nothing
"Rest."- BanzaikoowaidCare Free Black Girls GIF by AuroraDrawsGiphy
Live on without pain
"Enjoy my healthy back without pain."- Knackbein_
Who knows what's in store for us after our lives come to an end.
But living with the idea that something wonderful awaits when our time has come is all people need to continue to live their lives to the fullest, and treat others with the respect and kindness they deserve.
"Fun facts" generally refers to a tidbit of information about a specific topic which the general public might not have otherwise known about.
But the first word in that term can be misleading.
Indeed, some "fun facts" reveal information that isn't remotely "fun" in the slightes.
Redditor Alternative_kachocho was curious to hear some "fun facts" which were anything but fun, leading them to ask:
What's a 'fun fact' that isn’t fun at all?"
Ironically, something you likely don't think about...
"Your brain blocks you from feeling your organs moving around inside you."- Aydengeist06
Try watching Finding Nemonow...
"Only one in a thousand sea turtles born actually make it to adulthood."- Sebs_123
Shocking new light on an age old classic
"In the books, Stuart Little was never explicitly called a mouse."
"He's pretty much described as a deformed mouse-esque person born form human parents."- Red_Beard47stuart little mouse GIF by VIASAT3Giphy
Nature running it's course...
"There's a bird that feeds its younger offspring to the eldest."- Teacup_Cult
I have no allergies... yet
"Speaking from personal experience here, but your body can randomly decide to become allergic to damn near everything edible at any time."
"Not very fun."- smallemochick
Those poor, innocent creatures.
"In some regions of Australia, 90 percent of koalas have chlamydia, which poses a threat to the species' extinction unless a vaccine is created or widespread koala culling takes place."- tiffanyjcrusekoalas kiss GIFGiphy
They'd still be here if they weren't so delicious...
"The giant tortoise was so delicious, it caused not only itself to be hunted to extinction, but also the dodo."
"Giant tortoise meat was supposedly better tasting than chicken."
"It's fat tasted better spread on bread than butter."
"Also, it was the perfect food for sailors at the time, as their bladders stored 1 litre of purified water, and they could survive without food in hibernation for almost a whole year in the hull of a ship."
"Not to mention, because they evolved without humans, they were easy to hunt."
"You could tie one to your back, and roll another to the ship and they would just let you."
"It was so delicious, they went unrecorded for a long time because expeditions to bring living samples of wildlife to Europe kept eating them on the way."
"Conversely, the dodo, while as easily captured by sailors, tasted awful."
"It was completely unpalatable."
"HOWEVER, one day, someone discovered if you cooked dodo meat in the more delicious tortoise fat, it tasted just like chicken."
"So now, sailors were hunting a few tortoises at a time for their fat and water, storing them, and then hunting dodos on the daily."
"Overhunting, plus the introduction of rats to the environment (because sailors) which would eat eggs, led go the population to decline at a rate they could not breed to keep up, leading to both animals going extinct."- Kyhan
Don't forget the nose plugs
"Antarctica smells like penguin poop."
"Antarctica is a desert, it is too cold for bacteria to live."
"Nothing there to clean up penguin droppings."
"If you are close enough to see penguins, you will also smell them."- gummby8
Makes those long lines so worth it...
"The TSA missed 96% of contraband during an inspection in 2015."- omegasix321All Falls Down Tsa GIF by Kanye WestGiphy
"The person who had the first facial transplant had her face chewed up by her Labrador dog while asleep due to sleeping pill overdose." - User Deleted
It's hard not to read some of these "fun facts" and wonder if there should be an alternative term for the facts which aren't fun.
Oh yeah, probably not....