Professionals Reveal The Dumbest Question a Client Has Ever Asked Them
Anyone who has to interact with clients or customers on a regular basis knows that people asked some really dumb things. Retail and call centers probably get the brunt of it, but obliviousness doesn't discriminate. Sometimes you just have to marvel at it, and then throw your head back and laugh. Yet, somehow, people function in society...
emmasleep asked, Reddit what is the dumbest question a customer or client has ever asked you at your job?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Not thinking straight? Or just dumb?
Working in the back of an ambulance on a patient with a serious need of nitroglycerin to lower their blood pressure.
"Sir, before I give this medication to you, I need to triple check that you have not taken any ED drugs in the last 72 hours like Viagra or Cialis(rattles off all variations). If you have taken it and I give you this nitroglycerin, your blood pressure could drop dangerously low.
Have you taken any of these meds?
-Oh no, never.
Are you certain?
-oh yes, of course I am.
(Runs through potential deadly side effects again)
-No, never.
OK, hold this pill under your tongue.
-Does generic viagra count?
GAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! Why do you do this?
Why won't this work? I tried nothing.
I get too many dumb questions to remember them all. Here's a dumb encounter that happened just yesterday. When sending confidential documentation, we would encrypt it and put a password on it. It's common practice to send the document and the password in two separate e-mails. I got a message from this guy saying he couldn't open the document I sent him.
Me: "Did you use the password?"
Client: "Yes. It said there was an error."
Me: "What password did you use?"
Client: "I just hit OK and it said that I had the wrong password."
Me: "Wait.. so did you type anything in?"
Client: "Well no."
Me: "Could you use the password that we provided you?"
Client: "I didn't think it would work so I deleted the e-mail."
Me: "...."
What do you mean it wasn't a two-fer?
When I sent them an invoice. Sigh...
I work for an accounting firm. We did a project for them, wrapped it up, and billed it. A few months later, they came back with another project. So we did the work and gave them a bill.
They somehow thought that the new project was covered under the previous invoice.
We have wireless-charging laptops now?
A long time ago now...
Got a call that a user's laptop was dead and wouldn't power on.
I go and check it out. Press the button, no life. Plug it into the power, it starts charging. Press the button, it boots just fine.
The user wasn't plugging the laptop into power because she "thought we had wireless".
If you didn't reserve it, it's not reserved for you...
A group of four ladies sat on a table that is reserved for a group of regulars every day. Before I opened my mouth to let them know, one says 'we see a reserved sign but we are unsure exactly how "reserved" it is?'
Silly vet, boys don't have nipples.
Vet tech. A lot of people think their dog's nipples are ticks. A lot. One man even pulled a "but he's a boy!" on us.
What do you mean I have no money? This is a bank! Bank has money.
I used to work as a bank teller. A lady came up to me and asked to withdraw money. I informed her that she couldn't withdraw money, because her account was overdrawn. She was immediately upset, so I had her account checked for fraud. She then explained that all those charges were hers and she wasn't expecting any payments. She was spending money she knew she didn't have.
She then asked me why we couldn't just give her more money.
And math apparently isn't a thing.
"But why isn't there any money in my account? I put $500 in the other day!"
You check the account and see that they did indeed put $500 in the other day, but various bills have come out and they have made multiple purchases since then. So you go through every single transaction with them. The customer verifies every single one. You get to the end. "But why isn't there any money in my account? I put $500 in the other day!"
You go back and tell them what their account balance was when they deposited the $500. You go through each transaction again, this time telling the customer the balance of their account every time a transaction went through. They nod and again verify every single transaction and agree with each account balance you give them. You get to the end, hoping they'll finally understand that the reason they don't have any money is that they spent it all.
"But why is there no money in my account? I put $500 in the other day!"
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Just bizarre? Nah, this is dumb. Then again, it's not like credit card signatures are checked...
For my name.
Not the question itself but the reason why he asked. I was volunteering as a cashier at a used bookstore for the library---not my regular job but I do it often. In comes this older fella who buys a big stack of books for like ten bucks. He was really nice and chatty though he didn't seem completely aware mentally. Not a big deal, I just had to explain sales tax and the book pricing a couple times before he seemed to get it. He pays by credit card and I explain to him how to sign the touchscreen for the payment to go through. This is where he asks for my name. I tell him. He takes the iPad and says he really appreciated my service and happily tells me he's going to sign my name for the card so "they" will know to send the money to me. Before I can say "no wait," he's submitted the signature. I can't see his receipt but he keeps telling me I was great and to keep the change so I can assume he was being legit.
I honestly wouldn't call it dumb; just bizarre. Made me wonder if he's been signing cashier names the entire time he's had a credit card. Thank goodness the card companies never check those things.
The mystery may never be solved.
Mildly relevant: I used to work the counter in parts at Subaru and my manager was helping a customer (a rare occurrence for him) and he turned to me and asked me "How many days do we have for a 45 day return?"
Every night, the Washington Monument's bricks are rearranged, just to mess with people.
I work at a famous monument and I kid you not I've had people ask me whether we take it down at the end of each day, or whether it's been rearranged since they last visited.
I suggest you go.
When I asked, "For here or to go?" I got a confused look followed by "What would you recommend?"
It's obviously an abstract fence, a metaphorical fence.
Selling paint. Woman wants to paint her fence. I give her advice and explain to her how to prepare the surface. She then asks:
"Do I need anything to apply the paint?"
I'm like "Yeah a roller or a brush..."
She's like "Oh, I can just splash the paint on the fence?"
She was dead serious.
Woman, this is not Looney Tunes, this is the real world!
Fax machines aren't teleporters guys.
I worked at Kinkos and on 3 separate occasions, different people angrily asked me why I returned their faxed document to them. They thought that a fax machine was some kind of Willy Wonka thing that sent their original piece of paper to the recipient.
What a world it would be if cash could be faxed. Really?
I used to work in a call center for a large bank and a customer phoned while he was in one of the branches and said the queue was too big so he wanted me to help him. I asked what his query was and he said the ATM was broke so he had to withdraw cash. I asked how I could possibly help him withdraw cash from the bank over the phone and he said: "Why can't you just fax it to me?"
As daft as it sounds, I first asked him if he had a fax machine on him because if he wanted me to fax it to the branch he would still have to queue up to receive the money. He didn't have a fax machine on him.
What are these funny symbols and numbers on all your products?
C: How much is this?
Me: 50c, like the sticker says.
C: And this one?
Me: $1. All the items have labels on them with how much they cost.
C: Oh is that what those mean? That's clever.
(Not the slightest bit of sarcasm in their voice. I pressed slightly and found they were genuinely unaware of price labels.)
Nah, this job I'm doing isn't my job. I tow people's cars for fun.
While towing his car to a dealership, "So what do you do for a living?"
He was serious. He assumed I had another job because I didn't fit the Billy Bob persona he associated with tow truck drivers.
Ma'am, that's not how a library works.
Library. Once I checked out several books to a woman and told her the return date. She looked at her friend, then back at me, and said, shocked, "You mean I have to bring the books BACK?"
At some point, just bring him a salad with sauce on it.
I work at an Italian restaurant and this guy was looking at ordering a salad, and when I asked what dressing he wanted he kept going back to the pasta sauces and asking " Sugo, that would be good on it, wouldn't it! I'll get that" and I tried to explain " sir, those are for the pastas, you got the Mediterranean salad" and he responded " you're right; maybe carbonara (another sauce).. I don't get what he wasn't understanding. He seemed like a normal smart dude but he just couldn't comprehend the difference between the dressings and sauces
What is "real?"
I used to work at a fine jewelry kiosk in a mall. Our jewelry included items like gold bracelets and necklaces bonded with Sterling silver, Sterling silver rings with cubic zirconia gems, gold engagement rings with diamond chips clustered together rather than one large diamond, etc. I had a lot of regulars, and this one woman would come in often and ask for every item she was interested in, "Is this real?" I explained what "bonded" means and how we don't sell diamond rings for $25, but that the rings were indeed certified Sterling silver with synthetic gems. I gave her information like this over and over again, day after day, and she would follow up every explanation with, "Okay, but...is it real?"
People Share Their Favorite Purchases Under $50 That Completely Changed Their Life
Fam. Weighted blankets.
If you (or your kids - I see you, exhausted parents) struggle to stay asleep at night, weighted blankets might be a game changer for you. We got one for our 1-year-old after a week of her waking up at 4AM for baby jam sessions.
Best $31.99 we have ever spent. Ever.
Lappy
<p>A foldable laptop stand for 15€. Always thought you didn't need this stuff, how different from without one can it be - but it does wonders for my neck. Travels everywhere with me now.</p><p>It was an Amazon Prime sale back in November, but I'd say the 20€ it's priced at now is definitely still worth it. </p><p>I like it because the dark gray metallic color matches my laptop and the aluminium material feels way sturdier than a plastic stand would. I chose a very slim model that's basically just a framework for the laptop, no table or anything, because I mainly need this to take up the least possible space in my backpack as I travel with it every day.</p><p>It's perfect. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmvkl7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">quinalou1</a></p>Rubber Bristles
<p>A rubber bristled broom. I have two dogs and two cats, and my house is all hardwood and tile. A regular broom just sends the fur floating everywhere, but my rubber broom keeps it all nice and tidy and easy to pick up. It works on my area rug and upholstered furniture, too!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnmnnv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Boose81</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnmnnv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I've never even considered that something like this exists.</p><p>No more cat hair tumbleweeds rolling around the apartment!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjocm3n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ItWasTheButterfly</a></p><p>I recently got one and it is <em>amazing</em>. The other end is a squeegee but I haven't tried that yet.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnw9ya?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">_perl_</a></p>Let There Be Light
<p>A wake up light alarm clock. The light turns on gradually and wakes you up gradually rather than waking up to obnoxious beeping. Makes the start of my day more positive.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjngycx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ThimbleAndAcorn</a></p><p>Yes I LOVE mine! Especially in the winter when I have to wake up hours before sunrise</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjohj4l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">dingoeslovebabies</a></p><p>We just discovered this functionality is built into our Android phones. I don't know if it's just the Motorola brand, but it looks like it's part of the basic Android operating system now. it turns the screen a deep red that slowly brightens into a bright Cheery sunshine yellow. It is definitely a more pleasant way to wake up!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjo5b9c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">photogent1</a></p>The Drain Thingies
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUwMTQxNi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NzI2MzExMX0.n5_i5Us4EM3Gx15GxW40AEUgnfafkQwyeQh2stuwgO0/img.gif?width=980" id="a0779" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="364903589eeb8869999998db0bfad481" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="285" data-height="360" />shower shaving GIFGiphy<p>In my uni house of 4 long-haired girls, we had a sieve-type drain thingie that went over the plughole. It still let water through but caught all the hair to stop it from clogging the drain. </p><p>Yeah, that definitely cost a lot less than a plumber or us losing our deposit</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnc5di?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">tatt3rsall</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnc5di?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I lived in a house with 5 people, me and another short hair guy lived downstairs with our own bathroom, and upstairs was 2 long haired people and 1 medium-length. They never bothered to use a hair catch, and at some point every started showering downstairs.</p>Heat
<p>A heated blanket, don't know how I ever survived winters before this.</p><p>My bedroom is in the attic and it gets cold. Due to how stuff is wired the heating in my room only goes on when it's cold downstairs, but since it doesn't get that cold downstairs my heating never starts up.</p><p>This has saved me so much cold nights curled up in a ball at night trying to warm up, it's amazing</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmzxk8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PokingCactus</a></p><p>Same! Saves putting the heating on for the whole house when all you want is for your bed not to be ice-cold in the evening!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjn580o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Luke10123</a></p>Shh!Â
<p>Earplugs. They saved my final exams in highschool when my sister and her 1.5 and 3yo kids tornadoed through the whole house.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmzl8c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Bartolo20</a></p><p>I play some music super low on my earbuds and then wear my shooting ear protection over them. I can't hear sh*t and instantly focused. Saved me every time I took an exam last semester at my noisy parent's house.</p><p>- <a href="I play some music super low on my earbuds and then wear my shooting ear protection over them. I can't hear shit and instantly focused. Saved me every time I took an exam last semester at my noisy parent's house." target="_blank">GhostOfErik</a></p>The Perfect Pencil
<p>This one mechanical pencil that I bought in high school or earlier. I'll graduate college soon which means I've been writing with the same pencil for somewhat 10 years. </p><p>It fits perfectly between my fingers. I've kept a traditional diary since I was a kid and it has become more and more important since hardly anything requires paper and a pencil today. So many memories from the happiest moments to the absolute worst have been written down using this pencil. </p><p>I have a few other pencils as well but they don't feel right and eventually I'll put them away and return to my old friend.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmw607?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">petuwk</a></p>Get In The Garden
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUwMTQyMS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMzg3NzA2Mn0.BhvpD5Nni-3nj0BH3uU9QYgyHKXP-VpWnX_wEwoUaAE/img.gif?width=980" id="35171" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="51719fe8cc6296eadaea3c8c488fdf09" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="320" data-height="180" />fox tv dancing GIF by Bob's BurgersGiphy<p>About 20 years ago I bought a 3 VHS tape set that showed me this guy, Sepp Holzer, doing pond and gardens and raising animals in a way far better than I imagined. It has been the core of my life ever since.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmvgz7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">paulwheaton</a></p><p>Thank you for posting this. My ten year old daughter is obsessed with gardening and sustainability. </p><p>We recently bought some land in the Blue Ridge mountains and she has been very diligent in planning out what she wants to plant where, she has started her compost pile when we raked the leaves in the fall and was just asking me if she can build a greenhouse before next fall. </p><p>I just showed her your videos and her eyes lit up the way a kids eyes light up when they've found their new obsession.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjob7xy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">drman3211</a></p>Shower Chair
<p>Shower chair. </p><p>I've got a f*cked up back and I initially got it for that but even if my back was fine I'd still have one, they're so useful. If you shave your legs, you won't regret it.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjndu5d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">madfishmonger1</a></p><p>I'm heavily pregnant at the moment and have been seriously considering getting a shower chair lol. Now I think I may just go ahead and do it</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnqef2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wifejugs69</a></p>Butter
<p>A butter dish/butter tray. </p><p>Room temp butter always available. No more trying to spread hard butter out of the fridge. Unrefrigerated and covered butter is good for like 2 weeks. </p><p>It never lasts that long. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnm0hu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">drawingxfiles</a></p><p>What?! I did not even know you could leave butter outside. </p><p>I always thought it was in the same realm as milk, where you store it chilled and only take it out when you need to use it. That's just how it is, living in the tropics I guess? This could be a game changer. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjo5hqx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">KabuAtama</a></p>As kids, we spent about 8 hours every day in school for 10 months of each year. Not surprisingly, a few useless lessons made their way into the curriculum.
Well, maybe more than a few.
Backfired
<p>"0-tolerance policy is the dumbest thing ever taught and implemented."</p><p>"All it teaches is to fear authority when you're the victim. It enables the perpetrator (who is normally a bully)."</p><p>"I know administrators are lazy, but they need to actually investigate the goddamn problem instead of saying, 'hey you both were involved in the issue so you're both going to get punished.'"</p><p>"It basically just raises you to hate authority, and while I don't like authorities either I don't think they're all distrustful. Although, I guess this could be interpreted as commentary on how garbage authority is."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gji1860?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">HotSiracha1134</a></p>It Worked, Didn't It
<p>"That sticking up for yourself is wrong. I punched a kid in the face because he was being physically abusive to me."</p><p>"He grabbed my arms and spun us in circles, intending to let go once I would be sort of thrown through the air. I got an arm loose and punched him in the face before that happened."</p><p>"Instead of him being expelled I, a female half his size, was forced to apologize for defending myself. I'm still mad."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjiinlw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">justice-knifeblade</a></p>The Unicycle Budget
<p>"Our elementary school was heavy into unicycles. Gym class year round was learning to ride, then ride together, and in formation."</p><p>"I was one of the unlucky few who never got it (I can't dance or ride a bike either, so I suspect there's some balance issues)."</p><p>"School all but threatened to hold me back a year until I learned how. Everyone forgot and never picked it up again as soon as they moved to middle school."</p><p>"Worst part is that we were a very poor school in a very rural area without much funding. I can't imagine how much the school spent on those unicycles. There was no sponsorship, and we weren't competing in anything."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgybtf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sezah</a></p>A Bizarre ExerciseÂ
<p>"Not exactly something they teach in general, but in my high school music class, we had to memorize our national anthem in a different language (we used to be a colony and it was originally written in the colonizer's language.)"</p><p>"And then sing it out loud with the same melody and all, except you're parroting a bunch of words that you don't understand. Over a decade later and I still think it was a pointless exercise"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh1snm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BlizzardousBane</a></p>Egg BabyÂ
<p>"how to 'take care of a baby' by"</p><ol><li>bringing in an egg</li><li>having the teacher sign the egg</li><li>decorating, protecting, and carrying the egg at all times for two days</li><li>revealing to the teacher at the end of day 2 that the egg was still in tact, without cracks.</li></ol><p>"all that taught me was how to take care of an egg."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjia5r2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">archikat007</a></p>Sport FactsÂ
<p>"In Phys Ed they had us take actual written tests a few times sitting on the gym floor. Questions like where was basketball invented, what are the rules of pickle, yadda yadda, other useless sh**." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgqyxo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GummyZerg</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's the kind of bullsh** that happens when the only way to prove you're doing something is to provide data."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Teachers are forced to do things which generate data because the traditional outcomes don't provide enough evidence for someone at the state or distinct admin office to know you're doing your job." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh7qnm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Beeb294</a></p>The Definition of Busy WorkÂ
<p>"When I was in primary school we got taught about digital roots, it's where you take a number, add up all the digits and repeat if you have more than 1 digit, so 684 = 6+8+4 = 18 = 1 + 8 = 9."</p><p>"Nobody else has ever heard of this."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh998n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">emu404</a></p>If Only Bullies Valued My OpinionÂ
<p>"That if someone's bullying you you tell them that you don't like it. like no sh**, that's why they do it." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjhzzcd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">dr_pepper_cans</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My grandmother used to tell my dad, my brothers, and me 'If someone hits you, tell them you don't like to get hit!' Most useless piece of advice that has been taught to society." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjido7g?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ZIONSCROLLS</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"The only thing that ever helped me with bullies at that age, was fighting back. I tried everything else. But the teachers punished me more than the bullies for it, they'd always say 'it doesn't matter who started it' - which is f***ing bullsh**. I'm still mad." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjie14y?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">yas_yas</a></p>Keep Those Clavicles Covered
<p>"That if we cover our shoulders and legs boys will stop looking at us" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh828n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">shlee_e</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"As a guy this rule just taught me that bare shoulders are provocative and now I get all flustered seeing a cute girl in something showing her shoulders. This clearly didn't work as intended." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjhy9zj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lunarskies92</a></p>Useful Lessons
<p>"I don't know, but if they don't start teaching people how to spot fake news soon, we're all gonna be living under dictatorships." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgs84h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">thegoatwrote</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"All of us learned to do research papers in school, but how many of us made the jump to doing any kind of basic research in the real world?" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgtiwy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">somebodys_mom</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Broadly speaking, that's called the humanities, and it's been grossly under-appreciated and under-funded for decades at this point" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh93d4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jman939</a></p>Parents Break Down The Creepiest Stories Their Children Have Ever Told Them About Their Imaginary Friend
Kids say some seriously whacky stuff sometimes, it can be disturbing, especially when they tend to discuss people who are not there. When the imagination is heading into "The Sixth Sense" territory, it may be time for a visit to the therapist. Now almost all of us had imaginary friends at one point in life. It is a very normal, common part of childhood. But much like the real friends in corporeal form we make in life, sometimes certain relationships are toxic and not a good influence. And separation is called for.
Redditor u/xX_ENTROPY_Xx wanted to hear about people's children's besties that they haven't laid eyes on by asking..... What's the scariest story you heard a child tell about their "imaginary friend"?
Hit the Road Jack
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ5ODc3Ni9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyOTQ2NzI1MX0.HiRUuA-6ls5ZaDhMgKjVGIBHbbEkYwYbArx7__1WMuM/img.gif?width=980" id="1d873" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="2c6191d7bdb53d10f0538390a2296695" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="270" data-height="480" />Terrifying Trick Or Treat GIF by CameoGiphy<p>My oldest when she was 4. She had an imaginary friend named Jack who lived under our back porch. And he liked to shove sticks down people's throats. I discouraged playtime with Jack. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo9us1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">RyeDoll13</a><span></span></p>Monkey & Cowboy
<p>My son was 2-3 and always had a bunch of imaginary friends. The most frequently mentioned were Monkey boy and the cowboy. When my son was 2 he woke up one night screaming. I ran in his room and he was terrified. He kept pointing at the corner and saying that Monkey boy was bad. I ended up picking my son up and putting him in bed to sleep with me. The next time he was 3 and we were taking a walk with his younger sister in the stroller. </p>Mean Don....
<p>When my daughter was a toddler she randomly started talking about a man named Don. She always described him the same way and didn't seem scared at all, despite bringing him up every day. She didn't go to daycare and we didn't know anyone named Don. Then one day she got completely freaked out, wouldn't walk around the house alone in case she ran into Don, wouldn't sleep in her own room, and would talk about how she hated him because he said "mean words" to her all the time. About a year into "mean Don" we bought a new house. Once we moved she never spoke of him again. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo7igo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sciencenerd86</a><span></span></p>Ganga
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ5ODc4MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNjI4MjE1MH0.9GDHqR0I7GhnpzV49VS29OY95DYaFjvhy5BJL2b2erw/img.gif?width=980" id="f19cb" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1ab4fb0446e406094d5a66bce4dc2e88" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="395" data-height="350" />creepy toilet GIFGiphy<p>My son had this imaginary friend - Ganga. She lived in the nearby pond, had duck feet, hair all over her face, ate through a slit in her neck and we were expecting her any minute for dinner.</p><p>He was totally chill with this horrific monster idea, yet he had recurring nightmares about a puppy coming into his room. Kids are weird.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo2bbw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Why_So_Slow</a></p>Humpty?
<p>My youngest niece had an imaginary friend and when my sister told me about it she said "ask her what she looks like"</p><p>"Ok, what's she look like?"</p><p>"Broken pieces."</p><p>"...Oh.. why's she broken sweetie?"</p><p>"She fell from our tree"</p><p>Nope. Sorry sis you're on your own. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo1o5t?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DarthSangheili</a><span></span></p>Mooky likes to Watch
<p>My cousin was a few years younger than me and he had an imaginary friend called 'Mooky'.</p><p>Mooky wasn't human, but some kind of alien/monster thing.</p><p>Used to freak me out when I'd hear a noise behind me at my grandparents house and my cousin would calmly say "It's only Mooky, he just wants to see you." </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjnlngq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Gemski13</a></p>I Know Her
<p>So maybe not scary but definitely weird.</p><p>When I was little I claimed to have an imaginary friend, who had light brown hair and wore a night gown, and she had stars for eyes.</p><p>Well, my niece was living at my old childhood home and she told me that she has a friend who misses me and she asked why I went away. When I asked who, she described my old imaginary friend. It was super spooky.</p><p><em>Edit:</em> I have been informed that this is scary, my apologies. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo4bvp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">StarDustAndLus</a></p>In the Fire
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ5ODc4Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2OTM4NzMyMX0.zj9afEPNCvRk6Xccb3-7bD8BPTadAujh2UhRdSDr1M0/img.gif?width=980" id="a3047" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="bdc5569341d7e043e11a13feed0de23d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="337" data-height="253" />evil smile GIFGiphy<p>My cousin had an imaginary friend who she said used to live in the fireplace and "was red and patchy" - as if she was burnt. Apparently she was a little girl who wore funny clothes that "looked like olden day clothes". Still spooks me out! </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo5fxh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">babizzo</a></p>The Lonely
<p>My son stopped talking to his imaginary friend for months after my nephew, who was 15, took his own life. My son, who was not quite 5, was the apple of his eye. My nephew treated my son like a little brother, and since his mom watched my son while I worked, they spent tons of time together.</p>Bless Us
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ5ODc4My9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MDYzMzU1OH0.28HKUz3_fnNIDrVbRqw6qUGa8raZxutETJzbi4913rY/img.gif?width=980" id="98edd" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="327b4f9d5321f2f8be2826c162782ead" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="476" data-height="268" />The Exorcist GIF by filmeditorGiphy<p>A kid said he didn't want to go to church because "my invisible friend says he cant follow me in there." </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo4up5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Rook_45</a><span></span></p>People Who've Taken Ancestry DNA Tests Explain Which Secrets They've Uncovered About Their Family
Be careful what you wish for, you just may get it. That is one of the wisdoms of life that people are always throwing around. It can be especially true when meeting your idols, finding your dream job and searching down blood relatives you knew nothing about. The DNA discovery craze has been all the rage the past decade or so. Everyone is running around contacting family they never knew they had. That can be quite the Pandora's box of family secrets and scandal.The outcomes have been all over the place. Though one of the best led to the discovery of the Golden State killer so that's a win.
Redditor u/VideoFork wanted to know who would be willing to give up some salacious tea about their blood tie discoveries by asking..... People who have taken an ancestry DNA test and accidentally uncovered a family secret, what was it?