
Professionals Reveal The Dumbest Question a Client Has Ever Asked Them
[rebelmouse-image 18358963 is_animated_gif=Anyone who has to interact with clients or customers on a regular basis knows that people asked some really dumb things. Retail and call centers probably get the brunt of it, but obliviousness doesn't discriminate. Sometimes you just have to marvel at it, and then throw your head back and laugh. Yet, somehow, people function in society...
emmasleep asked, Reddit what is the dumbest question a customer or client has ever asked you at your job?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Not thinking straight? Or just dumb?
[rebelmouse-image 18358964 is_animated_gif=Working in the back of an ambulance on a patient with a serious need of nitroglycerin to lower their blood pressure.
"Sir, before I give this medication to you, I need to triple check that you have not taken any ED drugs in the last 72 hours like Viagra or Cialis(rattles off all variations). If you have taken it and I give you this nitroglycerin, your blood pressure could drop dangerously low.
Have you taken any of these meds?
-Oh no, never.
Are you certain?
-oh yes, of course I am.
(Runs through potential deadly side effects again)
-No, never.
OK, hold this pill under your tongue.
-Does generic viagra count?
GAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! Why do you do this?
Why won't this work? I tried nothing.
[rebelmouse-image 18358327 is_animated_gif=I get too many dumb questions to remember them all. Here's a dumb encounter that happened just yesterday. When sending confidential documentation, we would encrypt it and put a password on it. It's common practice to send the document and the password in two separate e-mails. I got a message from this guy saying he couldn't open the document I sent him.
Me: "Did you use the password?"
Client: "Yes. It said there was an error."
Me: "What password did you use?"
Client: "I just hit OK and it said that I had the wrong password."
Me: "Wait.. so did you type anything in?"
Client: "Well no."
Me: "Could you use the password that we provided you?"
Client: "I didn't think it would work so I deleted the e-mail."
Me: "...."
What do you mean it wasn't a two-fer?
[rebelmouse-image 18356705 is_animated_gif=When I sent them an invoice. Sigh...
I work for an accounting firm. We did a project for them, wrapped it up, and billed it. A few months later, they came back with another project. So we did the work and gave them a bill.
They somehow thought that the new project was covered under the previous invoice.
We have wireless-charging laptops now?
[rebelmouse-image 18358966 is_animated_gif=A long time ago now...
Got a call that a user's laptop was dead and wouldn't power on.
I go and check it out. Press the button, no life. Plug it into the power, it starts charging. Press the button, it boots just fine.
The user wasn't plugging the laptop into power because she "thought we had wireless".
If you didn't reserve it, it's not reserved for you...
[rebelmouse-image 18358967 is_animated_gif=A group of four ladies sat on a table that is reserved for a group of regulars every day. Before I opened my mouth to let them know, one says 'we see a reserved sign but we are unsure exactly how "reserved" it is?'
Silly vet, boys don't have nipples.
[rebelmouse-image 18358968 is_animated_gif=Vet tech. A lot of people think their dog's nipples are ticks. A lot. One man even pulled a "but he's a boy!" on us.
What do you mean I have no money? This is a bank! Bank has money.
[rebelmouse-image 18358969 is_animated_gif=I used to work as a bank teller. A lady came up to me and asked to withdraw money. I informed her that she couldn't withdraw money, because her account was overdrawn. She was immediately upset, so I had her account checked for fraud. She then explained that all those charges were hers and she wasn't expecting any payments. She was spending money she knew she didn't have.
She then asked me why we couldn't just give her more money.
And math apparently isn't a thing.
[rebelmouse-image 18348911 is_animated_gif="But why isn't there any money in my account? I put $500 in the other day!"
You check the account and see that they did indeed put $500 in the other day, but various bills have come out and they have made multiple purchases since then. So you go through every single transaction with them. The customer verifies every single one. You get to the end. "But why isn't there any money in my account? I put $500 in the other day!"
You go back and tell them what their account balance was when they deposited the $500. You go through each transaction again, this time telling the customer the balance of their account every time a transaction went through. They nod and again verify every single transaction and agree with each account balance you give them. You get to the end, hoping they'll finally understand that the reason they don't have any money is that they spent it all.
"But why is there no money in my account? I put $500 in the other day!"
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Just bizarre? Nah, this is dumb. Then again, it's not like credit card signatures are checked...
[rebelmouse-image 18358970 is_animated_gif=For my name.
Not the question itself but the reason why he asked. I was volunteering as a cashier at a used bookstore for the library---not my regular job but I do it often. In comes this older fella who buys a big stack of books for like ten bucks. He was really nice and chatty though he didn't seem completely aware mentally. Not a big deal, I just had to explain sales tax and the book pricing a couple times before he seemed to get it. He pays by credit card and I explain to him how to sign the touchscreen for the payment to go through. This is where he asks for my name. I tell him. He takes the iPad and says he really appreciated my service and happily tells me he's going to sign my name for the card so "they" will know to send the money to me. Before I can say "no wait," he's submitted the signature. I can't see his receipt but he keeps telling me I was great and to keep the change so I can assume he was being legit.
I honestly wouldn't call it dumb; just bizarre. Made me wonder if he's been signing cashier names the entire time he's had a credit card. Thank goodness the card companies never check those things.
The mystery may never be solved.
[rebelmouse-image 18358971 is_animated_gif=Mildly relevant: I used to work the counter in parts at Subaru and my manager was helping a customer (a rare occurrence for him) and he turned to me and asked me "How many days do we have for a 45 day return?"
Every night, the Washington Monument's bricks are rearranged, just to mess with people.
[rebelmouse-image 18358973 is_animated_gif=I work at a famous monument and I kid you not I've had people ask me whether we take it down at the end of each day, or whether it's been rearranged since they last visited.
I suggest you go.
[rebelmouse-image 18357790 is_animated_gif=When I asked, "For here or to go?" I got a confused look followed by "What would you recommend?"
It's obviously an abstract fence, a metaphorical fence.
[rebelmouse-image 18349371 is_animated_gif=Selling paint. Woman wants to paint her fence. I give her advice and explain to her how to prepare the surface. She then asks:
"Do I need anything to apply the paint?"
I'm like "Yeah a roller or a brush..."
She's like "Oh, I can just splash the paint on the fence?"
She was dead serious.
Woman, this is not Looney Tunes, this is the real world!
Fax machines aren't teleporters guys.
[rebelmouse-image 18354689 is_animated_gif=I worked at Kinkos and on 3 separate occasions, different people angrily asked me why I returned their faxed document to them. They thought that a fax machine was some kind of Willy Wonka thing that sent their original piece of paper to the recipient.
What a world it would be if cash could be faxed. Really?
[rebelmouse-image 18358974 is_animated_gif=I used to work in a call center for a large bank and a customer phoned while he was in one of the branches and said the queue was too big so he wanted me to help him. I asked what his query was and he said the ATM was broke so he had to withdraw cash. I asked how I could possibly help him withdraw cash from the bank over the phone and he said: "Why can't you just fax it to me?"
As daft as it sounds, I first asked him if he had a fax machine on him because if he wanted me to fax it to the branch he would still have to queue up to receive the money. He didn't have a fax machine on him.
What are these funny symbols and numbers on all your products?
[rebelmouse-image 18358977 is_animated_gif=C: How much is this?
Me: 50c, like the sticker says.
C: And this one?
Me: $1. All the items have labels on them with how much they cost.
C: Oh is that what those mean? That's clever.
(Not the slightest bit of sarcasm in their voice. I pressed slightly and found they were genuinely unaware of price labels.)
Nah, this job I'm doing isn't my job. I tow people's cars for fun.
[rebelmouse-image 18358978 is_animated_gif=While towing his car to a dealership, "So what do you do for a living?"
He was serious. He assumed I had another job because I didn't fit the Billy Bob persona he associated with tow truck drivers.
Ma'am, that's not how a library works.
[rebelmouse-image 18358979 is_animated_gif=Library. Once I checked out several books to a woman and told her the return date. She looked at her friend, then back at me, and said, shocked, "You mean I have to bring the books BACK?"
At some point, just bring him a salad with sauce on it.
[rebelmouse-image 18358980 is_animated_gif=I work at an Italian restaurant and this guy was looking at ordering a salad, and when I asked what dressing he wanted he kept going back to the pasta sauces and asking " Sugo, that would be good on it, wouldn't it! I'll get that" and I tried to explain " sir, those are for the pastas, you got the Mediterranean salad" and he responded " you're right; maybe carbonara (another sauce).. I don't get what he wasn't understanding. He seemed like a normal smart dude but he just couldn't comprehend the difference between the dressings and sauces
What is "real?"
[rebelmouse-image 18358981 is_animated_gif=I used to work at a fine jewelry kiosk in a mall. Our jewelry included items like gold bracelets and necklaces bonded with Sterling silver, Sterling silver rings with cubic zirconia gems, gold engagement rings with diamond chips clustered together rather than one large diamond, etc. I had a lot of regulars, and this one woman would come in often and ask for every item she was interested in, "Is this real?" I explained what "bonded" means and how we don't sell diamond rings for $25, but that the rings were indeed certified Sterling silver with synthetic gems. I gave her information like this over and over again, day after day, and she would follow up every explanation with, "Okay, but...is it real?"
When it comes to electing a leader, the choice is an easy one if a potential candidate shares the same values as yours.
And while a candidate is fit to lead remains to be seen, we rely on our instinct to choose someone with whom we can relate.
But sometimes, our options are limited and we inevitably go with someone who is the lesser of two evils.
Curious to hear from strangers online about a hypothetical, Redditor Cashmeresquid2309 asked:
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for an openly Atheist presidential candidate? Why or why not?"

Redditors were quick to point out the answer was a no-brainer.
We Already Know The Answer
"Asking Reddit if they'd vote for an atheist..."
"I feel like the answer would be obvious."
– sarahmagoo
Sci-Fi Analogy
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for a Star Wars fan who heckin loves doggos?"
– WitnessChemical
For The Atheists In The Crowd
"Atheists of atheistville, would you vote for an open atheist?"
– nixcamic
Others weighed in with a range of opinions.
About 45
"What's funny is how many of them would probably say no, even though they voted for Trump and would do so again. Say whatever else you want about him, but I seriously can't understand how anyone could genuinely believe Trump is a Christian. He's so obviously faking it and is undoubtedly the most atheistic president we've ever had or are likely to have for a long time."
"This is a guy who's never even so much as read the Bible or attended church, who told a conservative radio host his favorite Bible verse was 'an eye for an eye', who told evangelical interviewers that he's never asked God for forgiveness because he's never done anything wrong, and who routinely commits all 7 deadly sins (pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth) without remorse."
– empfindsamkeit
From A Different Perspective
"Not an american but interestingly according to this survey on 1006 people from 2007, being atheist was the worst thing you could be as a candidate (of the things asked) with only 45 % of people saying they'd vote for one."
– ilovecatfish
An atheist candidate isn't necessarily a big strike.
Double Negative
"I wouldn’t not vote for someone just because they were atheist."
– HabitualEnthusiast
Credibility First
"This is it. If they’re running on platforms I support with a history to back up those campaign promises, I don’t care if they belong to the church of the flying spaghetti monster. They could literally be a member of the satanic temple and I, an actual practicing Christian, would give less shi*s than a constipated sloth."
"Edit: yes, I realize the Satanic Temple does not actually worship satan. I used it for that purpose. The Church of Satan has some…problematic views and I probably would not vote for someone who literally holds a platform of eugenics."
– Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Some view the role of religion in politics as important.
It Depends
"Religion can be relevant: I would have strong reservations about voting for a Scientologist, even if I agreed with the policies they proposed. I would have strong reservations voting for a member of an apocalyptic cult or, possibly worse, a follower of the (highly heretical) 'prosperity gospel,' which unfortunately includes more and more so-called 'evangelicals' — I didn't vote for George W. Bush, but it's not because he was an evangelical."
"It depends on the role: I'd probably be more flexible with a legislator than an executive (mayor, governor, president), as their character is IMO more important than for a legislator and their policy stances somewhat less important relative to a legislator."
"Satanic temple — well, that's just an organized group of atheists and humanists with an intentionally inflammatory choice of name. They're generally fine people."
– alyssasaccount
A Bad Rap
"The Satanic Temple is an excellent organization that every decent person should be able to respect. A Church of Satan member, not so much."
"There's a huge difference between them!"
– StarsEatArtBooks
And Redditor boganvegan said it best.
"Better an open atheist than a fake Christian."
It all boils down to trustworthiness. Without full transparency, how could anyone put their faith in a candidate who spews nothing but lies?
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Being home alone isn't always the most tranquil thing.
No one is there to help or protect you.
And things that go "bump" in the night... sometimes they do more than bump.
Redditor ag9910 wanted to hear about the times home felt like an unsafe place to be. They asked:
"What is the scariest, strangest, most unexplainable thing that has happened to you while home alone?"
I'm always freaked out when I'm home alone. Lights on. Yeah, my electric bill is high.
Dorothy?
"I dreamed the front door blew open at the exact time the house alarm went off... I hopped up and sure enough, the front door was open. No intruder."
fatowl
I See You
"Not home alone but only one in right side of the house. Went to my mom's bathroom to wash my hands and saw a pair of feet behind the half open door. Laughed and said 'very funny Ma, I see you.' then finished up and left. Bumped into my mother in the kitchen unpacking, nobody else was in the house. I'm glad whatever was behind the door didn't peek out."
SatanWithFur
“It’s Doug!”
"One night I had forgotten to lock my apartment door and woke up in the middle of the night. My bedroom door was about 2 feet from my front door, as you walked into the apartment. First a big dog ran by, then a person. Holy crap I was so scared and I screeched 'Who is it?!?!!'"
"A man said 'It’s Doug!' As I was thinking to myself, who the f**k is Doug, he said 'oh, crap.' He turned around to go back out the front door saying 'Sorry.' I asked 'Didn’t you have a dog with you?' He said 'Oh, yeah. Hey, c’mon!.' He left, his dog ran out after him and I locked my front door."
"Edit: glad you all thought this was funny, because I did too, once my heart quit trying to beat right out of my chest! The next day the girls at work thought I was crazy for not being upset, but eh, done is done. Peace!"
scarletohairy
Confused...
"My sister and I were home alone and we heard someone big running up the stairs. The stairs make lots of noise with slight pressure so when there’s someone big on them you can tell. I went out of my room to check but saw no one anywhere and my sister also came out of her room and she asked if that was me I said no and we both looked around to see if there was anyone but found no one in the whole house. We were confused and called our parents and just waited until they got back and that was that."
JtSudbury04
I See You
"I very clearly saw a guy walk into my room. But when I went after him there was nobody there. I checked in the closet, under my bed, everywhere one could hide in my room."
HighlyOffensive10
This is why home video surveillance is key.
"NO"
"My parents were on a road trip, just left, and I sat down at my desk. I thought 'Weekend alone by myself' and a voice yelled into my right ear 'NO' so loud it hurt."
Th4ab
Wild
"I managed to lock myself out of my house on my birthday during a tornado while trying to bring my cats to the basement for safety. I later found out that the tornado was approximately a couple miles or less from me at that exact time. The sky was green and it got weirdly calm and then I could hear what sounded like a train coming before I found an unlocked window to climb through. Wild times."
SilverGnarwhal
Saturday morning in the 80s...
"I wasn't home alone but I was awake by myself one Saturday morning in the 80s when I was around 7 or so. I believe my mom was the only one home because my dad went to the lake to go fishing that weekend, and I'm not sure where my older brothers were, maybe they went with him, idk."
"Anyways, my mom's sleeping in, and I'm in the living room by myself, watching Saturday morning cartoons and making a fort out of sheets and cushions. Something made me turn around and I saw my dad in his pajamas standing in the hallway entrance with his hands on his hips, looking the mess I was making and shaking his head."
"He then turned around and walked into my room, which was just off the hallway entrance. Dude. I didn't even look, I just booked it to my parents room and woke my mom up. I don't remember what happened after that, this was around 35 years ago. And yes, my dad was fine, nothing had happened to him."
smriversong
Get the Bat...
"I was at home by myself on a call with some friends when all of a sudden my dog begins to bark like crazy, which was odd since it was the middle of the night and he's usually sleep. I go downstairs to check on him and find him barking at our hall closet, terrified I grabbed my bat that I keep in my room just in case and open the door. There was nothing out of usual at first at then I look down and notice a familiar looking object at the bottom of the closet."
"It was my mom's necklace she had lost when I was 9, (i'm 15 now just to put in perspective how long it's been). I showed it to my mom at breakfast and she was just as shocked as I was. I still have no clue how it got there or how my dog knew it was in there, definitely one of the oddest occurrences of my life."
SomeRandomIdiot14
Meow
"Many years ago, I was 14 or so, my first night alone in the house when my parents were out. Lying on the living room floor reading, my cat sleeping next to me."
"Suddenly, cat wakes up, stares intently into the dark corner of the room behind me, hair on end, growls and then bolts out of the room and upstairs. I look behind me and see nothing, but follow cat upstairs and hide under the covers. Freaked me out."
LairdofWingHaven
Thank God for alarms. I hate being home alone.
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The human body is still such a mystery.
How much do we really know?
Not a lot apparently. We're learning more all the time.
And most of it is gross.
Redditor BathNo7713 wanted to discuss the ick factor of anatomy. So they asked:
"What is the most disturbing fact about the human body?"
The body freaks me out. But it's all I've got. So teach me some things.
Minutes...
"The fastest killing virus takes around 4 days to kill you. That would be Ebola. Your immune system can kill you in 15 minutes."
will477
'locked-in'
"If your brainstem (the part of the brain that mediates most motor control for all of the body) is damaged, you can get 'locked-in' syndrome. That means you're fully conscious and aware of your surroundings but unable to move or speak. The only muscles that remain unaffected in most people are the muscles that move they eyes and the eyelids."
"You're essentially trapped within your own body with your only way of communication being blinking or moving your eyes It can be caused by toxins, blockage of the basilar artery which is the main artery of the brainstem, or other brainstem damage."
4oodler
Explosions
"Some people suffer from Exploding Head Syndrome, which causes them to hear a loud bang when they wake up."
ToraMix19
"When I was younger I believe I experienced this a few times. Sounds I heard were: about a million people talking and laughing all at once, a train that irl would've been about a foot away from me based on the volume of the sound, and a door slamming loudly."
aliaisacreature
Pain
"Not sure if this is by design, but I totaled my car once, almost completely uninjured somehow. Then I looked down to my right hand which I remember jabbing into my dashboard at 55mph. Luckily (unluckily?) only my pinky took the blow. But instead of a floppy-udder full of bone-sand, my pinky was 0.5 inches long."
"Broke no bones, but instead perfectly stacked my phalanges, or finger bones, INTO my hand. This is fixed by a muscular Russian murse grabbing your pinky with both hands and pulling very hard. God I wish they gave me more lidocaine."
TelevisionOlympics
Functions
"If you have a surgery where they need to move your organs around they might not function for a day as the body assumes that they are dead."
tonythebutcher13
Move things around? You mean that's not fake when it happens on "Grey's Anatomy?"
"The only reason you are not aware of it is because the ambient noise kind of drowns it out because your ears focus on it. If you go to one of those super-silent rooms that absorb all sorts of sounds, it is a really weird way to reacquaint yourself with your body."
Black_Handkerchief
The Mouth
"Idk about the most disturbing but how bad human teeth are. We’d think it’s our sugary and processed diets these days that cause it, but even Otzi the iceman discovered in Italy was found to have terrible teeth, mouth diseases and cavities. It’s odd that even with the most basic of diets our teeth are so bad."
Dorianisconfused
In the bowels...
"I noticed this after my abdominal surgery. When I turned over in bed my guts seemed to fall from one side to the other. Mentioned to my doc and she confirmed it was my bowels rearranging themselves."
squatter_
"Apparently the doctor just throws your intestines back in there higgeldy-piggeldy because there isn't a correct way to pack them neatly."
LostDesigner9
A Quick Burst
"There are a vast number of ways that your body can malfunction and kill you with little or no warning. An aneurysm can go undetected until it bursts and kills you. Getting hit in the chest just the right way can stop your heart. You can encounter an allergen that never previously provoked an immune response that freaks out your body so badly that you die. You literally just never know if your body will just... die."
Unsolicited_Spiders
The body is such a conundrum. Sexy and gross all at once.
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Being overweight comes with numerous challenges.
And not only challenge's to one's health.
Unfortunately, overweight people are far too often a target for judgment and ridicule, often owing to misconceptions.
Even worse, sometimes simply being bigger than other people leads others to assume that they must also be less than or inadequate in general.
Redditor Rude_Guarantee_1479 was curious to hear what people felt is the worst part, or most common misconception about being overweight, leading them to ask:
"What is the worst part about being a fat person?"
Since I'm fat, I must also be stupid.
"For some reason people always assumed I was simple minded/stupid when I was obese."
"Now that I've lost weight people just talk to me like I'm a regular person."- batyablueberry.
No comfort to be had.
"Feeling uncomfortable all the time."- Keithninety.
Not being seen and always being noticed.
"I have a fear that nobody is ever going to fall in love with me because I don't feel visible and I am fat
Also, going to the pool or beach and you have to put on a swimsuit. I feel like a seal stranded on the beach.- mango_0111.
Inadequate clothes.
"My belt trying to stab me in my belly when I sit down."- jimjohn2017.
"Nothing seems to fit nicely or still look nice in your size."- OutlandishnessNo1950.
"The amount of pants you go through."- Cmonredditalready.
"Putting on a shirt, walking into the backroom, seeing how it makes me look, and then never pulling out my favorite shirt ever again."- YeaItsaThrowaway112.
Never feeling good about yourself.
"Feeling guilty while eating your favorite foods, not looking good in photos/clothes."- pissed_at_everything.
Mobility challenges.
"My thighs rubbing and chaffing."
"I'm so raw right now."- HeavyBreathin.
Unwanted nicknames.
"Not the worst part, but the most constantly sh*tty part is constantly being called 'big guy' by every kind of person other than other 'big guys'."- Professor-ish.
As the old saying goes, true beauty comes from within.
And the way someone looks should never be one's first impression.
Nor does anyone need to go through the day facing unwanted judgment when simply walking down the street.
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