Professionals Dispel Common Misconceptions People May Have About Their Jobs[rebelmouse-image 18358936 is_animated_gif=
Do you remember that moment as a kid when you realized being a fire fighter was much more than just spraying stuff with a hose? And how maybe the job suddenly wasn't as cool as you thought it was? If you're only just now having that realization, we're sorry. We'll wait for you to collect yourself. You good now, champ? We, as a society, hold a lot of ideas about certain jobs that are just plain wrong... but we rarely stop to think about it.
One Reddit user asked:
What's a common misconception that the general public has about your job?
And now I'm just now finding out that not all geologists deal with rocks... like... what do geologists actually even do?!? We have no idea.
No Math Required[rebelmouse-image 18358938 is_animated_gif=
Accountant - "You must be good at math."
Requires basic arithmetic.
Daycare[rebelmouse-image 18358939 is_animated_gif=
Daycare employees-" I wish I could play all day for work" said every annoying parent.
No Cone Lights[rebelmouse-image 18358940 is_animated_gif=
Air Traffic Control - Suicide rates aren't really that high in our field. Also we are not the people with the orange cone lights.
Can't Fix A Car[rebelmouse-image 18358942 is_animated_gif=
A mechanical engineer is not the same as a mechanic. I can't fix a car, I can engineer a mechwarrior bot.
Wait, So What Do You Do?[rebelmouse-image 18358944 is_animated_gif=
Geologist - All I do is look at rocks all day.
Some of us do, but not all branches of geology involve rocks at all. I haven't looked at a rock for work since I've started down this path.
Desk Work[rebelmouse-image 18358945 is_animated_gif=
Military - I kill people. Really I sit a a desk and overspend the taxpayers money
Chlorine Saves Lives[rebelmouse-image 18358946 is_animated_gif=
Water treatment - "Chlorine is toxic and kills, get it out of my water!" Chlorine saves lives, 3.5 million people die each year because of untreated water.
Fix Your Own Phone[rebelmouse-image 18350009 is_animated_gif=
My recent job (still working through college) is web development.
I am not an IT guy. I don't know how to fix your phone.
$10 An Hour Isn't Worth It[rebelmouse-image 18358947 is_animated_gif=
I used to work for Shell for about a year, in between slightly less s*** jobs. The only benefit was that I live in Oregon and it's not self service so the occasional person from out of state that isnt infuriated by the fact that they're not allowed to pump here, would give me tips for washing their windshield. I made a whole $27 one night! Lol The fact that it was exciting to me shows what kinds of jobs I've had in the past.
We weren't allowed to take lunch breaks (the real kind where you clock off and people leave you alone), but instead we could scarf whatever food we brought or could buy for full price at the station in between cars and hope we got to our lunch before a rush hit. The overnight shift was boring, but thats when all the weirdos came out, and so things could be kind of interesting, at least.
I'll never forget Justin, the pump guy who was ending his shift and taking all the trash on the property out, he had 5 bags to throw over into the side of the dumpster, and the bottom of the last bag had a tear in it, that he was unaware of. It was also full of about 30 diapers.... yeah... so the bag flew open and the diapers weren't exactly closed up very well and he was sprayed. It got on his face. In his hair. On his uniform.
The rage filled SCREAM that he let out was truly that of the most downtrodden minimum wage worker I've ever heard. He pulled his shirt off and came stomping into the store seething and shrieking every curse word he could possibly think of- and as soon as the smell hit us, we then knew exactly what had happened. That crazy mofo came back the next day, too. He didn't want to talk to anyone about anything for about a week...
If they had been me I would've quit on the spot. $10 an hour isn't worth being covered in human waste. It just isn't.
Poor Scumbags[rebelmouse-image 18358949 is_animated_gif=
All lawyers are wealthy scumbags. Just checked my student loan balance and can confirm some of us are, in fact, _poor _scumbag.
Not The Guy WIth The Hammer[rebelmouse-image 18358950 is_animated_gif=
I'm a construction super. People assume that because I work in construction that I'm stupid. Let's see the average person look at a set of plans and wind up with a correctly completed building. Oh, and I have a college degree. Lots of us do. I'm not the guy you want running the tractor, or swinging the hammer. But guess who's got over 100 change orders in a year and turned the budget from a loss to a profit?
Video Game Developers[rebelmouse-image 18358951 is_animated_gif=
Devs at corporate studios don't get a single bit of say in what features get coded into games most of the time. They coded in that pay-to-win system not because they thought it was a good use of their talents, but because they didn't want to lose their job. They didn't omit that feature you wanted because they thought it sucked, but rather because they already had a laundry list of features to implement and nowhere near enough time to implement them (and no say in the matter anyway). And that feature shipped super buggy because the project was on far too short of a deadline and QA didn't get an RC to test until the 11th hour and stayed up until 5am just to get sanities done at the very least before the game shipped. Yes, they know about that bug. No, there wasn't time to fully test it, fix it, and test it again before shipping. Yes, they put it in the queue for patch 1.1.
When I see gamers screaming on the internet about "lazy devs" and "greedy devs" it makes me want to scream right back "IT'S NOT THE DEVS YOU IDIOTS, IT'S THE CORPORATE AHOLE COPYING BUZZWORDS FROM KOTAKU ONTO HIS WHITEBOARD WHILE IGNORING THE GAME DESIGN DOCUMENT!!!"
No I Can't Choose[rebelmouse-image 18358952 is_animated_gif=
City planner, no I cannot get a [insert restaurant here], it's a free country if they want to build here (and follow the zoning code), they will build here.
Who's Your Favorite Artist?[rebelmouse-image 18358953 is_animated_gif=
Stagehand - no we don't care, talk or hangout with any talent. To every person who asks: "Who's your favorite artist?", our reply will always be "the one who is writing my check." Sometimes we don't even know what artist we're working for. We're just here to put stuff together and take it apart again afterwards. We don't stay for the show half the time.
The Drugs Don't Kill You[rebelmouse-image 18358955 is_animated_gif=
Pharmacist - I don't just count pills all day.
I counsel your grandma on her blood pressure meds, and her diabetes meds, and probably talk to her more than you do.
I verify meds so they don't kill you.
Paperwork - drugs have many regulations and the paperwork is endless.
I deal with the your insurance company. I figure out coupon cards that save you money when your insurance company decides to charge $150 for an inhaler.
I deal with your doctor not sending in refills even though we called seven times already
I make sure the drugs don't kill you.
I try to find alternatives for your medications because of the constant drug shortages that have run rampant for three years and only got infinitely worse since the hurricane in Puerto Rico where all our manufacturing plants are.
Cahoots With Big Pharma[rebelmouse-image 18358956 is_animated_gif=
Physician-- that we charge and bill you for things and then laugh to the bank.
Except for small private practices, many of us are employed by large health systems, universities, etc. We bill and code based on strict legal regulations. Then I get a cut from the university/health system.
I don't just get to name my price and make you pay. Oh, and me and "big pharma" are not in cahoots. I get zero dollars from whatever prescriptions you fill.
Putting People In Jail For Money[rebelmouse-image 18358957 is_animated_gif=
I'm a prosecutor and I hear defendants complaining all the time about all the money they have to pay for getting in trouble, and talking about how they're only being prosecuted so we can all make money. In reality, of course, my salary is the same no matter how many cases I do or what the outcome is. Same goes for the judge.
Dude, if I was putting people in jail for their money, I'd have my student loans paid off years ago.
Uber Driver[rebelmouse-image 18358958 is_animated_gif=
People think this isn't a job, or it's just barely one. "You just drive a couple hours and it's like a party, right?" Wrong! It's a 10-12hr a shift up to 6 days a week thing, heavy overheads, variable income, no job security, and lots of customers are aweful. You have to constantly worry over ratings, paperwork, maintenance, and so on. You don't get a social life, because the only productive times to be working are when normal people are having their nights out. You have to be able to navigate perfectly in places you've never been to before, but don't get caught looking at your nav or the customers will lodge an "unsafe driving - distracted driving" complaint. All operating costs are covered by you without reimbursement.
No other job requires an upfront ~$30,000 investment in equipment (a car), no benefits, no health insurance, depreciating value on your equipment (car losing value as you drive), dealing with customers, pay for all your own expenses (gas, car insurance), and risk of death, all for only~$10 to ~$20 an hour. Not worth it. I quit.
Mystery Shopper[rebelmouse-image 18346831 is_animated_gif=
I'm a secret shopper and people think it's a scam. It's not. I get to go to fancy restaurants, apartments and hotels. I pay and they pay me back plus whatever rate they have offered and I agree to. I get to test drive nice cars and learn about latest products. I choose which jobs I take and therefor make my own schedule. I NEVER have to ask my friends to buy stuff they don't want. The worst I might have to ask is for them to come out to dinner with me and I'll pay. This only happens when my husband is sick and I promised to get a job that requires two people done. Those are always fun anyway because I never rope him into real "work", only the fun stuff like movies and bowling. It's a lot of work and it's not for everybody but it's not a scam.
Groundskeeper[rebelmouse-image 18358960 is_animated_gif=
I'm a commercial grounds-keeper. You'll often see me tending to some shrubs in a parking lot or mowing grass on a boulevard. I'm dressed in rags and I get many looks of pity or even disgust as people think I'm basically a slave or mentally-challenged. I have 40+ sites under contract. I have employees but still enjoy being out there getting dirty. I dress like that because I can. I clear six figures easy, owe nothing and my people are paid as much as plumbers and I rarely turn-over staff. I've had trashy, greasy-haired, scabby, single-mothers basically tell their kids that if they didn't stay in school they'd end up like me. LOL you ain't raising kids who are gonna work half as hard as me and the whole bunch of them will be emailing me 'resumes' in a couple years.
(c) Oh Myyy LLC
Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
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Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
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Irrespective of men's sexual identity or preference, there are men who hate sports, and there are men who love musical theater. Do participating in either activity make men straight or gay?
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.
"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."
"Advice I received in high school from other students:" "Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee." "When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist." "Never button the top button of your shirt."
Look, But Don't Look
"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"
"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"
Sandwich For Sissies
"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."
"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."
"But that's one women do," one might argue.
"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."
A Lighter Shade
"Buying a white IPhone."
"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."
"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."
"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"
"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"
"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."
Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.
"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"
"Weird flex but okay."
When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate
"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."
"Like a man."
No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men
"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."
Abiding By The Law Is So Gay
"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."
In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.
When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.
Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."
Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.
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