
Professional Movers Reveal The Weirdest Things They've Seen On The Job
[rebelmouse-image 18359081 is_animated_gif=Being a mover has got to be one of the most physically demanding and strenuous jobs around. You have all that lifting, transporting and sometimes packing. However, one of the things most of us never think about is the possible danger issues. You're dealing with human beings on the daily. Some people are bound to be certifiable. And what sort of treasures does a certifiable person pack? And what sort of life situation are you walking in on?
Redditor _\Dumpster_Fetus _**reached out to the public to ask **Movers of Reddit, what's the weirdest/worst/peculiar thing/experience you've seen/had in someone's home? **_After reading this... I promise you'll be grateful for whatever other job you have. _**
BE CAREFUL OF THE ROCKS!
I did this for a summer a number of years ago, and there was house one in particular that will always stand out.Family of four. Normal looking people. 2 story single family home, no basement. Thought to myself "thank God, an easy gig today." Oh no. No no, I was very wrong. We walk in and lots of stuff is already in boxes (thanks!) and were told to head to the kids rooms first.
12 year old kid who likes rocks. REALLY likes rocks. Like, is obsessed with rocks. There are rocks EVERYWHERE in his room. Big ones, small ones, gravel, sandstone, bits of clay, sea shells, bits of concrete, asphalt, and a pile of what looked like bone fragments. _"He's a rock collector" _Mom says.
No kidding, there were so many rocks in the room that the you couldn't only see narrow paths between the door, the bed, and the closet (which, indeed, was full of rocks).His sisters room was fine and mostly packed besides the furniture and the boxes full of belongings. The parents room was similar, everything normal and somewhat neatly packed.
We shoveled the rocks into wagons to clear the room. Dad was upset that the shovels were going to "stretch the carpet." Ok dude. We loaded several hundred pounds of rocks into our truck that day.Business as usual after that, felt odd that the family didn't seem to be bothered by it. They gave us each an extra hundred in cash for our troubles.
ARE YOU CERTAIN YOU'RE NOT THE A&E SHOW?
[rebelmouse-image 18359083 is_animated_gif=Not really weird but....
I moved a hoarder family once. They had a 2 story house that had a 1ft deep layer of crusty clothes and garbage through all 2 floors and the basement. We brought snow shovels and shoveled it all into wardrobe boxes. The two teenage boys were there smoking pot and being generally in the way the whole 2 days of took us to shovel their stuff into boxes. I found their bong collection and put it in a box labeled Christmas decorations.
GOTTA LOVE FAMILY SECRETS...
[rebelmouse-image 18359084 is_animated_gif=When my mom died i went through her things. her and my sisters weren't on speaking terms but i found photos of them and their children taken by private investigators in the different states they lived as well as info the investigators dug up like where they lived, where they worked who they associated with. i was just shocked at the steps she took to know about their lives cuz she had that _"they're dead to me" _attitude. i was also really said that all of them let things get to that point.
THE "HAZARDOUS" THINGS WE KEEP...
[rebelmouse-image 18359085 is_animated_gif=I wasn't a mover but doing demo work in New Orleans after hurricane Katrina. It was in the old French quarter, not the touristy French quarter, and it was an old home that had been abandoned and then squatted in. The place was beyond a wreck, is was more likely a biological hazard zone. Not just from the storm, but it's inhabitants. The neighbors said they were there for at least six months. Inside there was mainly three things: a lot of women's clothing, creepy dolls made from said clothing.
HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO SCRUB WITH SOPAS ONCE AND A BLUE MOON?
[rebelmouse-image 18359086 is_animated_gif=I worked as a mover for a few summers in college, and the worst one was this family of 4 that was moving from one unit in a complex to another unit in the same complex. My boss told me it should be a relatively easy move because the stuff wasn't going far and no stairs.
We show up and walk into the apartment and it was a complete mess. The carpet was stained dark brown, the paint was peeling off the walls, there's crayon drawings all over the walls, and it smelt like absolute crap. It looked like no one had cleaned in years. We had to take constant breaks cause the air was just heavy with a stench. We finally get everything out, when the dad tells us there's one more room we need move, and need to be extra careful. He walks us to a door that had pad locks on it, and he opens it up. Inside are giant, intricately designed doll houses. These things were about 6' x 3' x 4' and had every tiny detail perfect. It was also the only room in the apartment that had clean carpet and didn't smell like hell.
RACHEL! RACHEL! RACHEL!!!
[rebelmouse-image 18979767 is_animated_gif=I work in mortgages and see lots of appraisals. I once saw a bedroom which was a shrine to Jennifer Aniston. There was a wall of framed photos of her in various poses. Candles (like yankee candles not religious ones) and a kneeler like a Catholic Church. So weird.
WHERE'S THE VALUE OF THE DOLLAR?
[rebelmouse-image 18979768 is_animated_gif=I spent one of my high school summers working for a guy who bought up a bunch of foreclosed McMansions in my area after the 2008 recession. Dude paid me great money under the table to clear them out.
It was clear in most of them that the families literally up-and-left (plates on the kitchen table, closets torn through while frantically packing. One got me particularly hard -- it had a fully-furnished basement playroom that was the stuff of dreams for a 6-12 year old kid. Huge TV, a bunch of gaming systems, a nerf gun arsenal, super intricate hotwheels tracks, etc.
All of the toy cabinets had been dumped out and torn through and there were a couple of bags of packed-up toys left behind.
I know a lot of these people made fast money through ethically-questionable means, and spent it even faster -- but the thought of an 8 year old kid, no matter how privileged, having to pick the toys he could carry out of the insane dream playroom he will never see again kinda pissed me off.
PAGING JERRY SPRINGER!
[rebelmouse-image 18979769 is_animated_gif=I once found intimate pictures of a couple when I was helping a friend move out. I show the pics to my friend and she proceeds to freaks out and yells at me to give them to her. I do and she just stares at them and says "that's my mom and uncle." So she cheated on your dad with her sister's husband, it's bad but not unheard of.
BLESS IT ALL! JUST IN CASE.
[rebelmouse-image 18979770 is_animated_gif=One lady had the word Jesus written on everything with what looked like permanent marker. I mean everything. The walls, the furniture, all the decor had the word Jesus on it. Couldn't get out of that house fast enough.
DOES BIG BIRD LIVE HERE?
[rebelmouse-image 18361684 is_animated_gif=Moved a couple in their 60's who had 3 cats and 2 large African Grey parrots. All of these animals roamed freely in the house, and every surface in the house was coated in a thick layer of dust, bird poop and cat hair. I would estimate that the house hadn't been cleaned at all in about 5 years or more. The bedposts were caked in about a half inch of bird poop which ran from top to bottom, I assume the birds perched on top of the bedposts at night and poop all down along them. The smell was atrocious and the air felt thick and heavy inside the house.
While packing up the master bedroom, I found thousands of Xanax pills. Like WAY more than a person would ever be prescribed by a doctor. The house also stank of weed, like they had been smoking indoors for years and never cracked a window. The husband was disabled and wore an adult diaper, and there was a very strong smell of It coming from him as he showed us around the house.
Overall, a f--ing bizarre and disgusting situation.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH MONEY IN THE WORLD!!
[rebelmouse-image 18978278 is_animated_gif=Late to the party so this might get buried. Last year I worked for a moving company (pretty big name) in LA county. Needless to say we saw the best of the best and the worst of the worst. Helped Bob Harper move, one of the trainers on The Biggest Loser. He helped us pack and move almost everything and tipped each of us 200 at the end of the day, there were 5 people. Great guy. Anyway, arriving at a job and the notes say,_"may have difficulty moving through apartment," _which typically meant furniture and things are messy simply because they are moving. No big deal not our first rodeo. We show up and we're greeted with this horrendous smell, the only thing I could equate it to is that fresh skunk spray smell. We start walking through the house and realize we can't see the floor, I mean we are at least a foot from the ground stepping on miscellaneous crap. Hoarders. With our company we had the leisure of being able to call in and say the apartment isn't up to working conditions. Hoarders fall under the category but if we saw spiders, rodents, we could call it in and leave the site without repercussions. It had been a really slow month for our branch and after calling our supervisor and arguing for 20 minutes they advised we needed to, _"tough this one out," _for the sake of our jobs. The 3 of us calmly took some deep breaths, and got to work. About 30 minutes in I can hardly stand the smell anymore, I'm gagging just being in the house. We go to move an old night stand and a rat the size of a 3 month old cat scurried away. We dropped the nightstand, told our other coworker and we walked out. The customers were furious because we were being babies and couldn't handle a little mess to clean up. Our supervisor called within minutes of us driving off and said if we don't go back we are fired. We all decided to pull over, turn the truck off, lock the keys in the car, and get Uber's home. We figured since we were being treated so bad we'd do the same, hopefully leading to them having to the job. It was 8 pm at this point, we clock in at 6 A.M. so everyone's gone except the supervisors waiting for us to get back. We got word the next day from coworkers that the supervisors didn't do the job because the house was too messed, never got an offer or an apology for our job back either.
I'M NOT MOVING AN ARK.
[rebelmouse-image 18979771 is_animated_gif=Moved this family out of their house. The entire house had been pissed on everywhere by cats and dogs. The daughter had a room that had rats, hamsters, mice, who knows what else roaming free destroying her room... she didn't care. She had a couch in there they named "the rat couch."
VHS? DO THEY EVEN WORK ANYMORE?
[rebelmouse-image 18344852 is_animated_gif=Once helped a hoarder move who had 117 DVD players, 86 VHS players, and 18 of the exact same Audiovox portable VHS players (I counted).
BLANCHE DEVEREAUX? IS THAT YOU?
[rebelmouse-image 18979772 is_animated_gif=I found an old lady's (past 80 she was in a nursing home) adult toys and diary of her conquests from the 50s. The diary had details of all her hookups from the 50s I think. It was kind of sad, she was never married and didn't seem very happy in the text.
I also felt bad about reading it, but I worked for the guy that found it and he read it aloud to the group during lunch.
I also found a bunch of money that her dad hid in the basement. Coins from the 30s and 40s.
This was a construction job in college, I used to to a lot of work remodeling old mansions in Shaker Heights OH. It was always fun to find old bottles and cans of beer in some weird crawl space I was moving through. I wasn't legal to drink at the time and I knew that teenagers 30 years ago tossed them in there after a party because I used to do the same thing at my parent's house
THAT'S NOT YOURS IT'S MINE!!
[rebelmouse-image 18979773 is_animated_gif=I once helped a neighbor I barely knew move, who was separating from her husband.
They were both present and they hadn't really worked out who was getting what in the split. He was staying in the house and she was leaving. Worst moving experience of my life. It's bad enough that they weren't packed, and we had to put things into boxes as we went, but she would tell us to put something in a box and then he would come and grab it from us and tell us it was his. So awkward!
HOW BREAKING BAD.
[rebelmouse-image 18979774 is_animated_gif=Managed a moving company and occasionally worked on the truck.
Moved this home that was actually pretty sad, this is all in Arizona where there's a big meth problem. Before I walked in I could smell they must've been cooking there. Guy, girl and a baby probably a year or two old. This place was filthy top to bottom and smelled the awful stench of meth and body odor. I was close to walking off the job it was so bad. We moved them to much nicer neighborhood and their credit card processed, which I didn't think it would, so convinced myself that they were trying to get out of a bad situation and be better parents
I did an estimate and this average looking male in his 50s had his toe nails painted a sky blue. Cool guy but only had a son and no grandkids, so I was real curious.
Moved a high end home and found a safe with about 20 pounds of weed. Guy was part owner of a dealership, at the end he tipped me double, $200, he knew I saw and I didn't say anything so maybe that's why the heavy tip?
SILENCE OF THE LAMBS : THE REALITY SHOW.
[rebelmouse-image 18979775 is_animated_gif=I spent 5 summers working for a moving company between high school and college. I have seen a plethora of weird things in people's homes. I've found numerous forms of paraphernalia: bongs, bubblers, pipes and you name it in various shapes, sizes and colors.
Whips, chains, whistles, yo-yos. They were embarrassed when we charged into the bedroom to pack up their stuff. I once found an entire case of 7.62mm FMJ ammo.
One gentleman insisted that he show us his homemade adult video tape collection. It was hidden in the back of his closet behind a panel. It was him and various women doing the deed. Think of that scene in American Psycho with the two hookers. It was just like that but extra creepy because I was 16 & the dude was a total creep.
The strangest thing was a guy who insisted we stay out of one room in his basement. He had a padlock on it. We were packing his things and he had to run out to "take care of something at the realtor's office." We were almost done and doing our final walkthrough to make sure we didn't miss anything. The padlock was open on the door so one of the girls I was working with went inside. She came running out screaming _"Let's go, let's go. We gotta get outta here." _The rest of us poked our head inside to see what can only be described as a serial killer's torture dungeon. Knives on one wall man-sized butcher's block in the middle of the room plastic everywhere and an oddly stained bathtub on one wall, no toilet, mind you, just a tub.
THANK THE LORD FOR XANAX AND THERAPISTS.
[rebelmouse-image 18979776 is_animated_gif=I worked as a mover with friends for a summer job while in college and there is definitely a horror story which sticks out in my mind. I show up as relief help to a crew which had already been at a house for 7 hours and as I arrived I was greeted with wide stares of the _"You aren't going to believe this" _variety from . The boys tell me to check out the basement. I got about 4 steps down the stairs before I was punched by the most pungent sour smell that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I buried my face in my shirt and took another couple unsure steps down the stairs to where I see a chest high shelf which runs around the whole room. The shelf is covered with bottles containing varying amounts of liquid. what was in the bottles? Pee. so many bottles of pee. There was an old beat up chair and a tv with an xbox surrounded by more bottles of piss. So much piss. I immediately left the job site but that visual and smell is seared into my memory forever. So much pee. They also found a dead cat behind a couch later. So I guess I didn't have it too bad.
- People Divulge The Weirdest Things They Found In A Public Toilet - George Takei ›
- People Break Down The Most Ridiculous Things They've Ever Had To Deal With At Work - George Takei ›
- People Explain Which Things Are Considered Normal Around The World But Weird In America - George Takei ›
- Non-Americans tell us what they suspect Americans all have in their homes. - George Takei ›
We'd be lying if we said we haven't all made a poor decision in our lives. Whether it's letting a questionable ex back into our lives or pairing that shirt with those jeans, we all have a cringey memory to look back on.
But most of us don't have memories of inventing something terrible, let alone one of the worst inventions ever.
Redditor NPT1506 asked:
"What is the worst human invention ever made?"
Not Helping
"That little 'Press to Open' tab on Kraft Mac 'n' cheese boxes. That has been an effective way of opening those boxes exactly zero times."
- illusorywallahead
Caffeinated Pollution
"K Cups. The pollution of all that single-use plastic."
- AlabamaPostTurtle
Teeny Tiny Bits of Plastic
"Glitter. It N E V E R goes away."
- Mrherpaderptherapy
Going Obsolete
"Planned obsolescence."
"My printer one day just up and stopped working claiming I needed to replace a part. As it turned out, that part is meant to stop working when the printer reaches 5000 pages."
"I took the part out. There’s no damage or wear on it. So I ordered a 'reset chip' that reset the page count for that part to zero. Cost me $20 vs $110 for a replacement part."
"Later on, I found a way to enable tech mode on my printer to reset the page count for any part I want. Then again, the printer is old, and the WiFi stopped working a few weeks ago, requiring me to use direct WiFi, which sucks."
- ChronoLegion2
It's Getting Personal
"Serious answer: chemical toxins that have caused severe health problems."
"Personal answer: HP printers. F**king pieces of s**t."
- Unadulteredmilk
Unholy Packing Solutions, Batman
"Styrofoam is pretty abominable in my book, especially for things like takeout food that’s destined for the trash within minutes of use."
- tokage
'Nuff Said
"Child beauty pageant events."
- SuvenPan
Profit for Who
"For-profit prisons."
"Which leads to state prosecutors who are beholden to them. This increases the probability of being charged with a crime you didn't commit, under the plan that you're too poor to defend yourself and will plead out."
"They can't make a profit without prosecutors feeding them an ever-increasing supply of prisoners (plus parolees and probationers in "offender-funded" programs). It's a recipe for the corruption of our justice system."
"Private prisons are arguably foreign enemy assets."
- omgnesh
Addictive Pay-to-Win Games
"Pay to Win Games, especially mobile games."
- JustARandomOrange
Questionable Hobbies
"Cigarettes. They never should have been made."
- UrMooother
Transformative Gases
"Possibly leaded gasoline. It poisoned billions and left multiple generations more violent and less intelligent."
- dcdttu
Reminders of War
"Landmines. They don't just disappear once a war is over. They'll stay around to kill some kids playing. Awful things."
- CaptainMcAnnus
Bodily Weapons
"I’ll say Nerve Toxins/Chemical Weapons. I find few things worse than a weapon that literally gives you the slowest and most agonizing death possible."
- RidingRiptide
Chemical Warfare
"Chemical Warfare."
"While nukes are horrible beyond imagination, humanity learned to avoid them as a way to ensure their own survival, it's wise, but egoistical nonetheless."
"Chemical weapons on the other hand traumatized the f**k out of the survivors and the ones who called the attacks and got to see the aftermath. They were so horrible that many soldiers deserted after using them and many went mad."
"Throughout the last century, we successfully banned almost all of those: the 1925 geneva protocol, the 1980 chemical weapons convention, among others, but I'm afraid when the next generations start to forget the horrors of chemical warfare, it will resurface in the likes of what's happening with fascism."
- raduannassar
From modern inconveniences to climate changing inventions to the literal stuff of war, there are serious contenders here for the worst invention in human history. It would be hard to choose just one.
Children believe what their parents tell them about the world to be true because they don't know any better.
That doesn't mean they have to like what they are told. But a good child listens and will act accordingly to be in their parents' good graces.
But sometimes, adults abuse their power and say whatever it takes to get a desired response from a young one–even if what they're saying may not be entirely true.
Curious to hear from those who've eventually become wise to the ways of a parent or other adult figure, Redditor i_cant_have_dairy asked:
"What's something you were told as a child by adults, that you now realize is complete bullsh*t?"

Parents hoping to prevent a bad habit had interesting things to impart.
Advancing Bone Degeneration
"Cracking your fingers make you get arthritis."
– Haik11
Stroking Fear
"If you keep masturbating, you'll go blind."
– K333N4N
Interesting things were said in school but not everything stuck.
The Threat That Didn't Land
"HS teachers: 'That stuff won't fly in college" College: ✈️✈️✈️✈️'
– Comfortable_Wish_930
An Easy Pass For Today
"I got this BS all through school. 'I'll let this slide, but don't think you'll get away it next year...' "You can do this now, but don't think it'll happen in Middle School...' 'Don't expect to get away with this in High School...' 'Yeah, we'll let this go in High School, but if you think you'll get that sort of accomodation in college/the real world...(evil laugh)'. "
"Eventually, I caught on that it was more dependent on the teacher's attitude rather than anything else. Small example, in high school I couldn't remember the name of a town on a test, but I could remember everything else, even drew the diagram the teacher had the board in the margin, just to prove I had paid attention that day. Still got marked wrong. In college, similar brain fart, couldn't recall a place name, but I put as much description as I could otherwise. Professor gave me half credit."
– GrandSpecter
The Wrong Impression
"DARE activities in primary school gave the impression that grownups would always be giving away narcotics for free. lol"
– MiguelinaKnudsen
College Myth
"That a degree would open all the doors and knowing about politics, history and general stuff would make me an interesting person and that socializing was a waste of time. Nowadays I work for a big4 but I have the personality of a boiled potato. And they have the nerves to ask why I don't have a girlfriend or more friends at 27. Teach your kids social skills. Studying is not everything."
– davidmt1995
Certain behaviors get fact-checked.
The Thing About Respect
"That you gotta have respect for you elders.... Don't get me wrong you gotta have respect for everyone but I'm only gonna give what you give me. If you are a butthole ima be a butthole."
– Ok_Win7358
There Are No Stupid Questions...Maybe
“No harm in asking', boy did that get me in trouble…"
– khamelean
Combating Bullies
"Re: bullies."
'Just ignore them and they'll go away.'
"No it doesn't. It just makes them laugh so they do it more."
– j-c-s-roberts
Getting Old But Never Wiser
"That adults know what they are doing."
"31 and I feel like a chicken with his head cut off."
– Brontolope11
You Are Not What You Eat
"That you can't be full unless you eat bread. Carbs actually make you hungrier. Protein fills you up."
"Also: if you drink coffee, you'll grow a tail. Don't ask me where I'm from."
– Senishte1992
I was a very rambunctious and obnoxious kid, so maybe I deserved the tactic my mother resorted to using to get me to be on my best behavior.
Whenever I acted out, my mother used to convince me she would call the "mountain people" to come back and retrieve me back to the community from where she claimed to have initially found and adopted me.
One time, when I was incredulous and stood my ground after being a pain, my mother told me the mountain people were going to take me back.
So she called them up by using our rotary-dial telephone and faked a whole conversation with them about how unruly I've been and that it was time for me to return.
She sent me to my room to start packing–which I did. Unbeknownst to me, she rang the doorbell to indicate they had arrived to take me away.
When that happened, I profusely apologized to her and promised to behave so she could send them away.
That was the last time she used that effective tactic and the last time I think I was at my worst in terms of my rebellious behavior.
We laugh about it now but back then, I was terrified.
But I can't discredit her for her creative discipline.
No two people have the same threshold for pain.
Some people don't even notice pricking their fingers, while others might equate doing so to being fully amputated.
No matter one's threshold, however, being in pain, big or small, is never a good feeling.
Particularly if it's the sort of pain that aspirin or ibuprofen can't take care of.
Some pain is so horrific that those suffering from it genuinely can't imagine going through anything worse.
"What's the worst physical pain you have ever had?"
Ineffective Anesthesia
"I am a heart-transplant recipient."
"The absolute worst experience of my life was when the tool used to take tissue samples of the heart (biopsy) to check for rejections got stuck and the doctor tried to use force to get it out, he failed."
"Mind you, you shouldn't be able to feel anything in the transplanted heart."
"I felt everything."- Beastrix
Seriously, What Haven't They Been Through?
"Kidney stones."
"Having A UTI after covid that also had light pneumonia."
"Falling on my hands and knees while my backpack full of school books to return [2011 for book reference] that slammed into my back."
"I have scoliosis already and it threw my back out."
"Or my hip dislocating."
"It still dislocates."- Fluffy-Doubt-3547
Ouch...
"Bowel obstruction."
"Like 10,000 knives in my stomach."- coffeedogsandwine
You Know Its Bad When Surgery's The Only Solution
"Gal stones."
"Ended up having my gal bladder removed."
"Unimaginable."
"And I've broken my knee skiing which also required surgery."
"Minor annoyance in comparison."- Fracture_98
Necessary Pain...
"I had a doctor once reset a broken bone in my wrist."
"He pushed it back."
"Worst pain I have ever felt."
"I screamed at him 'F*CK YOU, MOTHERF**KER!!'"
"He was nice about it though, and just laughed."- OttersOfNorthAmerica
Headache's Are Never Fun
"Chronic Cluster Headaches."- noiamnotyourfriend
"Worst headache of my life with migraine."
"And with it, an increase in blood pressure."
"I just lay on the floor and couldn't move."
"It cannot be described in words, but I have already vomited everything that is possible, and instinct made me writhe in the urge to give out something that has not been there for a long time."- Exciting_Composer_86
Wrong Tooth!
"I had a root canal done on a tooth that wasn’t numb."
"I didn’t realize it until they scraped the nerve out of the bottom of the root."
"It hurt so bad I completely blacked out."- victrola_cola
Dairy Overload
"Welp I guess now's the time."
"If you're squeamish turn away."
"Allow me to tell you the story of the gigash*t."
"I always had stomach issues."
"One holiday I ate too much dairy and gravy and it didn't agree with me."
"I already had constipation issues, most likely due to college stress, under hydration, and lactose intolerance that I didn't know I had at the time."
"I was hunched over in pain for hours."
"I had been stuck for a week or so and I wanted it out."
"The pain got progressively worse and worse across the day, and then it got to a height. It hurt so bad I cancelled my holiday visits and hobbled to the toilet."
"Little did I know what horrors awaited me."
"I don't know how long I was in there fighting for my life."
"At some point I had pulled a dresser over to lean my head and arms on because I was so exhausted and in pain, and I needed something to help keep my legs up."
"I clung to it like a castaway clings to flotsam."
"I felt like I should have seen a doctor, but I was already hell bound now, couldn't quit after all this work."
"I actually tried to use wipes to pull some of it out by hand, but it was like chiseling at hardening clay, and it was stuck like glue to my dying organs."
"I was certain I was dying too, but I wasn't going to give up."
"I wasn't going to let the football in my guts win."
"I clenched and pushed and suffered for what felt like hours."
"Then, at the height of my pain, it fell like a single brick with a clunk."
"I was huffing and puffing."
"It was like I just gave birth, and my a** was obliterated to the point where it was sore for the rest of the day."
"My guts actually felt empty."
"It's hard to explain, but I never felt so light in my life, despite how horribly the rest of my body ached."
"I was but a husk for the small football shaped demon spawn to shed, and now I was free."
"I immediately went to bed, still unbelievably sore."
"I recovered, but that was the absolute worst."
"Moral of the story, drink your water and eat your fiber, and for God's sake don't eat too much cheese."- mysterious_greenbean
Just When They Thought The Worst Was Over
"Woke up to to a huge spider right next to my face on my pillow."
"My reaction was to jump out of bed screaming bloody murder."
"I landed on the leg I had surgery in the day before, the leg gave out and I hit it hard on the bedframe and tore the wound."
"I passed out from the pain."- mistaekeish
Hopefully Not Simultaneously?!
"Kidney infection and tooth infection have been the absolute worst."- SexyChronicPain
Our Bones Are More Delicate Than We Might Think
"Skull bone infection (osteomyelitis) stemming from a tooth abscess, ended up with 3 front teeth out through high school."
"It took around 11 extraction/bone graft/implant surgeries for like 5 years of my life."
"But I’m all good now."
" Oh and f*ck broken ribs."- throwaway19273919
Thankfully, not all pain is chronic, and only lasts a short time.
If pain is unbearable enough, however, the memory of it can last a life time.
We've all done things we aren't proud of.
Be it saying something behind someone's back, a prank that went a little too far, or a heated exchange with a friend or family member, everyone has crossed the line at one point or another.
Thankfully, more often than not, these mistakes can be salvaged with an apology and a little contrition.
Unless you've done something that goes well beyond a simple "I'm sorry."
We’re talking about actions that can only be described as "f*cked up."
"Redditors, what is the most fucked up thing you have ever done?"
Duplicity Never Pays Off
"I’m a recovered heroin addict (9 years sober), and I have a lot of stories of how much of a sh*t person I use to be."
"I really can’t gauge what my worst moment would be, but I can post a story or two definitely."
"One day, I was flat broke and on my last bag of dope. My 'neighborhood pharmacist' just recently was arrested for a dui."
"Brainstorming, I came up with an idea to try and get some pills at the e.r. I still had med insurance at the moment, so I thought this was my best option."
"My buddy came by and we were hanging out outside smoking a cigarette and trying to figure out how to get hurt, just enough to get some pills, but not enough to actually have permanent repercussions."
"There was this big cinder block beside my garage, and I decided to drop it on my foot in hopes of just breaking a toe at most."
"I stood outside on the concrete patio for about five minutes with the cinderblock trying to hype myself up enough to drop it on my foot."
"I couldn’t do it, psyched myself out too much."
"I told my friend that he would have to do it for me, and he said OK."
"He held it about waist high and dropped it on my foot."
"I knew it wasn’t enough damage so I told him that he needed to put it up higher and drop it again to which he did."
"So go to the hospital tell them that I was carrying boxes downstairs to the basement and dropped them when I slipped on the bottom step so I go back, get x-rays, and I am in the waiting room."
"Dr comes in and tells me that I’ve torn numerous ligaments in my foot and probably would hurt less if I had just broke my foot."
"Hearing this I was excited thinking yes I just scored."
"I Didn’t care about the pain at the moment just happy that I just potentially scored."
"They release me, and hand me a script."
"They wrote me a script for ibuprofen 800mg."
"Defeat."- GrouchyProduct2242
When Pranks Stop Being Funny
"Was night manager at fast food establishment during college."
"There was a bitter prank rivalry between our establishment and the Subway next to us."
"After months of prank escalation, I crammed a rotting hamburger patty in the handle of the Subway manager's trunk lid so he went knuckle deep in rotting burger when he went home."
"That was the end of the prank war and I've never forgiven myself for crossing the red line."- Quivum
How Ironic This Happened At A Therapists Office
"I’m gonna rat my little sister out."
"During our parents’ divorce & custody battle, we were forced to sit in on family counseling sessions."
"I was 12 & she was 8."
"We thought my Mom was acting funny & might have been banging the counselor on the side for her own personal testimonial interests (still not confirmed)."
"So we were pissed off because we loved our Mom and our Dad."
"It seemed like the counselor favored our mom over our Dad, and it got rough sometimes watching him become outed by the only 2 adult forces who didn’t love him in this world."
"ANYWAY, my little sister and I were left alone in his office, and she decided she was gonna take a sh*t in his little trash can to assert dominance."
"It was asserted."
"We never went back."- Pleasant-Security831
When You Gotta Go...
"Ugh this was an embarrassing one that I hope no one ever finds out."
"One night a few years ago, we (my boyfriend and his family) get Chinese food from our favorite little place."
"For some reason this night it doesn't sit well with me."
"An hour after eating I get that intensely sick feeling, like you have to poop so bad that you want to throw up."
"Whatever, I go upstairs and destroy the bathroom."
"It's important to note, there's two bathrooms upstairs and none downstairs, which is like a little apartment where my boyfriend and I stay."
"After I'm sure my bowels are empty, I go back down to lay in bed."
"Thought I could nap it off."
"Nah, about 30 seconds after laying down I get the urge to go again."
"I run upstairs and to my horror, both bathrooms are occupied. His sister is refusing to get of the shower even though it's an emergency and his dad is blowing up the other toilet, presumably suffering a similar fate to mine."
"I begrudgingly go sit in bed and contemplate my options as the bubbling in my gut grows worse."
"Bust down the bathroom door and traumatize his sister?"
"Make the 30 minute drive home?"
"No, it was urgent."
"I even thought about sh*tting my pants (against my will) and dealing with the embarrassment."
"God I don't want to subject my future in-laws to that."
"I begrudgingly realize my only option is to go outside like nature intended."
"Their yard is very open and it was a super bright-moonlit night, so there was no place to do it without feeling super exposed."
"Except for under the trampoline."
"My thought process was: no one has used the trampoline for years, and it's out of sight/ walking range so no one could accidentally step in it."
"Great. I do my business, get soaked in the process ( it was slightly raining and the trampoline was POURING water on me), clean up with napkins and wet wipes, come inside. Immediately throw up in the trash can from the shock/embarrassment/anxiety/sickness."
"Clean that up and immediately go to bed."
"Everything was fine for a few days, until my boyfriend's dad lightheartedly tells me how he was late for work that morning."
"The dog had rolled in some shit and he had to get a bath."
"I felt like throwing up all over again, but thankfully everyone just suspected it was some type of animal poop."-WeirdConnections
Revenge Is Seldom The Answer
"My hometown is generally pretty middle-class to poor."
"There's a bunch of rich people that live in the woods and one of them had a kid that went to our high school and bullied the f*ck out of the kids that weren't as wealthy."
"That sh*t head grew up and bought a Camaro last summer and removed the muffler so it would be the loudest thing in town."
"On new years eve of 2021, he decided to ruin a town tradition and lapped the town common with it during the tree lighting ceremony. while people were caroling and giving thanks."
"Summer of last year, me and a friend decided it was time to get revenge because nobody wanted to do anything about it."
"My friend's dad owned a junkyard and they recently got an old train horn from a busted diesel that ended up there."
"We spent a good week getting it set up in the back of his work truck and decided to wait on it for a little while."
"A month or so later, we found out he was having a party of some kind with other rich folks and his family but we didn't know what it was about, so we carefully parked outside his house on the opposite side of his fence."
"Right as it was starting, we blasted the train horn and peeled out before anyone knew what happened."
"News got out later and we found out the party we bombed was actually a wake for his late grandfather."- G4rg0yle_Art1st
Seemed Harmless At The Time...
"You know how people bag up their leaves and leave them out by the street?"
"As a teen we used to go out at night and dump them back out on people's lawns."
"Thinking about it now I would be so pissed if someone did that to me."- Toastbuns
They Didn't Have ANY Doubts?...
"When I was about 15 a neighbor of ours stopped us in the road and chewed us out for riding our go-carts in the road."
"This despite the fact that it was a dirt road in a rural area which was the perfect place for riding go carts."
"He was a complete a**hole about it too."
"I don't know where I got the idea from but I promptly went home, called the electric company, pretended to be the neighbor, and told them I wanted my electricity turned off as we were moving."
"It was the eighties so they just looked the account up by name and address and promptly entered my request in the system."
"I'm sure it was just a minor inconvenience for them but they deserved it in my opinion."- BaconReceptacle
Personal Demons Are Hard To Fight
"The day before I stopped drinking alcohol altogether, I was in a really dark place for a number of reasons."
"And I was ABSOLUTELY using alcohol as a crutch."
"One of the reasons why I was in such a bad place, emotionally, was because my cousin was in decline due to glioblastoma."
"I was actively seeing this person, that I loved dearly, lose his sense of self and ability to understand conversations and situations."
"And he was young—just turned 50."
"There was a lot of light in the beginning, but considering that glioblastoma is effectively a stage-less brain cancer, it was almost guaranteed he would lose the battle."
"The day that I stopped drinking altogether was the day that I was supposed to drive him to a research institute for his monthly treatment and check-in."
"It was the only time I was asked to take on that level of responsibility, as his wife would normally take him."
"I helped in a bunch of different ways, like hanging out with him when he’d otherwise be alone, but this appointment was pretty big."
"I depressedly drank myself into a stupor the night before and missed our meet-up time."
"I’d said that I’d be there no matter what, and I wasn’t."
"The appointment happened, and he 'reassured me' everything was okay as he knew the battle was over anyway."
"But I will never forgive myself for that."
"Even typing this out makes me feel like the biggest piece of sh*t."
"I wish I were sober then."- ssssskkkkkrrrrrttttt
Credit where it is due, just about every one of these people admitted to doing something wrong.
Even if it doesn't excuse their actions, as knowingly doing something you know is wrong might make it even worse...