It can be said that we live in a very "sue happy" society. It's remarkably easy to engage in litigation against someone––it's the American way!
But suppose you have a case (or think you do). You still need someone to serve the defendant the papers (it's highly advised you don't do that yourself, of course). This is where process servers come in. They meet all sorts of people from all walks of life, as you can imagine.
They shared their stories after Redditor CharlotteLucasOP asked the online community,
"Process servers, what's the most bizarre scenario in which you've served someone?"
"I let him into the building..."
"When I got a divorce, my lawyer recommended I hire a process server just in case my ex tried to dodge/deny service. She knew I was filing so it wasn't like it would be a surprise, but better safe than sorry. One problem: This was during a covid lockdown, so neither of us was leaving home. The process server comes, I let him into the building, he follows me to the apartment but then says he can't follow me into the apartment to serve her. So I have to shut the door on him then wait for him to knock so that my ex can answer the door. Probably the most awkward five minutes of my life."
"And then I went home."
"I knew my days as a process server would pay off! So this guy wouldn't come out of his house, but his ex knew he was there because he never changed his iCloud password and was tracking his phone. So I told her to call me the minute she leaves his house. So he finally leaves his house and I am driving like mad to get to his house. He was 30 minutes from me, and so I was getting semi-live updates of his location, and adjusting as I drove.
Eventually, she realized he was stopping at his brother's house, so I got there, but he wasn't there, she stopped paying attention to the map. He just left, so I was following this guy like 5 minutes behind him. I was driving, and I was looking at maps and talking to the client trying to figure out where to turn. I wouldn't let her hang up. After 10 minutes of crazy driving, It looked like he had stopped at an intersection, but while I was passing that intersection I spotted his car filling gas. I made a very illegal left turn (I don't remember why it was illegal). I pulled into the gas station just as he was getting in his car to leave, and stopped my car right in front of his car so he was boxed into the gas station. I confirmed with the client what he looks like and what the dad looks like as I was pulling up.
I jumped out of the car and walked up to his car and asked him are you John doe (I don't remember his name) the dude looked like I was some insane person. He had this just crazy stare like "I can't see you, you can't see me". His dad was driving and his dad was like "hey get away from me! I'm trying to leave!" So then I decided to just knock on his window trying to no avail to get his attention and tell him "John you are being served, here is all of your court documents" then I dropped them all and walked back to my car. I backed up so he could leave and the dad was like... "Umm, you want me to just leave," the ex tells his dad to just leave. And then I went home."
"She just silently..."
"One guy really hated this other lady he was suing, and she kept avoiding the server so he paid me $300 to serve her on Christmas. He knew for sure she was home because she was having a party there in an hour. He wrapped it up in this huge present. So I showed up to her door, and yelled "Christmas delivery!" She thought it was some great present, and had this huge smile. Once she opened the door, I told her she had been served, and it was like she got hit by a brick wall. She just silently took the giant present and walked back in her house with it."
"I worked as a process server for a couple of years during/after college. It was through a private investigation agency so it was a little more intense than the typical process server. Anyways...one time I was hired to serve a stripper, and since we couldn't find a valid address for her the PI had me go into her work and serve her there. I didn't want to cause a scene and get jumped by the bouncers so I purchased a private dance from her then served her in the back room. I even got reimbursed for the cost of the dance when I collected the paperwork. All in all, it was a memorable experience!"
"It's ridiculously easy..."
"When my mother was a Family Law attorney and I was in college, I used to do some process serving for her. She'd never give any that she felt would be dangerous, but In hindsight is probably another poor decision by my mother, and by me who just needed the money.
It's ridiculously easy to get an about-to-be divorced man to open his door to an 18-year-old girl.
I once made an appointment and got my nails done. Paid and gave a tip, and the papers to the same tech. She was pissed."
"He said his worst one..."
"Not me but a guy I worked with was a process server in his downtime. He was older and enjoyed the work. He said his worst one was this guy who knew he had it coming and evaded as best he could. He never answers the door. He'd go to neighbors' houses. Hop the fence to get inside. It was a several-day job because he just kept avoiding the situation and didn't work. The dude didn't live in the best part of town so my coworker had to try and not look sus in the neighborhood. My coworker tracked down some family and figured out where he liked to hang out, he served him in front of his church.
Coworker told me that most people who know it's coming will actively avoid being in situations where they can be served. Most will give you a false name if you knock on the door or tell you that it's their sibling/friend if you ask if they are the right person."
People Explain Which Conspiracy Theories They Believe Are 100% True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"Now and then..."
"I'm sure it varies by state, but most of the time everything is done by mail. It's rare to have to serve anyone in person.
Now and then people will suspect that a certified letter is a subpoena and they'll refuse to sign and return to sender. In those cases, you put the letter in a box with a brick and send it again. 90% of the time they sign for the box.
The only time I ever had to actually serve a subpoena in person it was for a lawyer. I just made an appointment for a consultation. He introduced himself, I handed him a folder with the subpoenas saying it was the contract I need reviewed. He opened it and saw what it was and then I said have a good day and left. I got called into court on that one, he still claimed he never got the subpoenas. Judge sanctioned him."
"I once had a client..."
"I am a paralegal. I once had a client who was in her 70s and her husband had her served with divorce papers while she was recovering in the hospital from surgery. Brutal."
"Two stories come to mind, both involving Billionaires who vowed to plaintiff's counsel that they would "not be served," with one laughing at them and saying "good luck." Plaintiff's counsel engaged our firm, and I got the call. Both these took place in the very early 2000s.
For the first guy, I just went to his house at like 4 am, in a swank part of the City. I was dressed in my best suit--vest, tie, the whole thing. He was friends with the local cops so blocking his driveway was a no-go, and his garage was attached anyway so he'd just bolt back inside. I knew he wouldn't answer the door. Within fifteen minutes of watching, though, a solution presented itself. The paper truck came and dropped off his fresh copy of the WSJ right on his front porch. That was my opening.
There were hedges on either side of the front door. So I went up to the porch, grabbed his paper, and tossed it about fifteen feet down his front walk toward the street. And then I crouched behind the hedges. Around 90 minutes later I hear the front door open, then he grunts, and I see him walk out ahead of me. He's got on a robe and PJs from the looks of it, and those leather slippers with the furry stuff inside. While he's bending down, I emerge from the bushes right between him and his front door.
The look on his face when he turned around and saw me there was priceless. I still remember it. I just said, "Mr. XXXXX, you need to take this." And he did. And I left. My boss was pretty impressed with that one."
This was the guy who laughed and said "good luck." I got asked to serve him after my success with billionaire number one. This was going to be harder, though. He lived in a gated community and then had his own little private gate and road. And while this was back before there were cameras everywhere, they had cameras everywhere. So I poked around to see what I can find and lo-and-behold he teaches a weekly "seminar" at the local state college's business school. So I went to his class, waited for him to show up, and served him right there in front of all his students."
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The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy
"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
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"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.