Whoever said that "you should never go to bed angry" has clearly never dealt with actual sleep deprivation. The idea of being so committed to your partner that you're not willing to rest til peace is achieved is a cute idea ... but sometimes, sleep is the best thing you can do to quell anger.
Anger combined with sleep deprivation is a perfect recipe for disaster. For people struggling with their mental health, this can be a particularly potent combo. What's said can never be unsaid and saying "sorry" doesn't actually fix the damage.
One Reddit user asked:
What's a common "life pro-tip" that is actually BAD advice?
and honestly... why do we even listen to advice at this point? Holy crap. Sometimes the "experts" are dead wrong.
Go Ahead And Give Up
Giphy"Never give up." Sometimes you should give up. Sometimes you'll try your best and it still won't work out.
My ex has been chasing me for a fckin year.. including leaving notes on my car in the middle of the night and sending me long letters every other week even though I've told him to stop many times. They just go in the trash. It's sad - but I learned one of his friends encouraged him.
"Don't give up if you love her!"
All the rest can't convince him to just stop it.
I like the saying "if you're going to fail, fail quickly".
I think it emphasizes an attitude of learning from mistakes quickly and moving forward rather than blindly flogging a dead horse as is the case in 'never give up'.
My favorite version of this: "It's better to be at the bottom of a ladder you want to climb, than halfway up one you don't."
This quote inspired me to quit my career of 10 years and go back to school. Best decision I ever made.
Still Work
"If you do what you love, you will never work a day in your life."
Many people use this advice thinking they'll be able to easily coast through life and are shocked when they have to face the reality of it being an actual job. When you do something that you love as a career rather than as a hobby, it becomes much more serious and has more responsibilities. Sometimes it can even lead to you hating the thing you used to love.
This isn't to discourage anyone who wants to pursue a career in something they enjoy, like a photographer or a chef. If you want to have a career doing something you enjoy, that's great. But you have to go in knowing that it won't be all sunshine and rainbows 100% of the time. There will be difficulties from time to time and you won't have the same amount of freedom that you used to have when it was just a hobby. As long as you go in knowing that and are willing to adapt and work hard, you'll be fine.
I was able to create my dream job, be successful at it, and it still felt like work. I enjoyed it, and still enjoy it, but I have other interests and hobbies. I enjoy spending time with family, but really the word of advice would be if you have that Sunday night gut check, if you are resenting going to work, or hate Sundays because the weekend is over, you definitely need a new job.
It's okay to work hard, like 80% of it, but even with my dream job, there is still about 20% that I don't enjoy doing, but it comes with it.
The Problem Is You
Giphy"Just be yourself" "you're perfect just the way you are" and "never let anyone change you" are double edged swords preventing many people from growing out of horrid habits or bad personality traits.
If a lot of people are telling you to change your behavior, chances are you're gonna fck up your life if you dont pay attention.
If one person tells you you're wrong, maybe you could actually be right.
If everyone tells you you're wrong, you're wrong.
Looks Matter
"Looks don't matter."
No matter how confident you are with yourself it is inevitable that people will judge you based on your appearance.
Nor is it an excuse not to care for yourself.
"Mom, the only people who'll notice are just shallow."
"Darling, just go brush your hair."
There is plenty to rightfully judge based on looks because it indicates other qualities that may be important to you in a mate/friend. Hygiene, hair, weight, clothes, posture, body language and many others are all things under your control. There is some wiggle room in terms of finance, genetics, etc but for the most part a person has a lot of control over how they look.
Think about what you do judge a person on as well, it is almost always on the aspects they can control. If you think someone looks like a gross slob because of their neck beard, dandruff, and messy hair those are all things that person can change. You didn't look at them and think their nose was too big or their eye color sucked.
Man Up
Man up always rubbed my the wrong way.
Its ok for a baby boy to cry but once they can walk on their own feet? Its shut up your a boy and boys don't cry...
Teaching boys/men no to express emotions leads to anger problems and the inability to properly communicate in a relationship. It's not right and if a boy wants to cry or be mad or anything other than happy let him. It might prevent another domestic violence case or just raise a good man
It's Not An Excuse, It's A Reason
I kind of have "no excuses" drilled into me but...sometimes there are legit reasons why you can't do something.
My parents drilled this into me so when i got extremely stressed and depressed in school, instead of telling teachers
"Hey, I'm not in a great mental state, can i have an extra day"
I just didn't do it and nearly failed half my classes.
The no excuses line really f**ks you up as a kid with a disability. Like, there's a genuine reason why my blind @ss self can't hit a tennis ball but I'm not allowed to make excuses.
I kept hoping that attitude would go away as I got older but honestly once I aged out of IEPs it got worse. Self-advocacy is a nightmare when you're shy and don't "look" disabled. I'm legally blind but I pass as sighted if you don't know me or see me in a brand new place.
I could get adaptations but I had to justify all of them over and over. It just got exhausting and my university's idea of helping was a letter I had to give every prof/ta along with the spiel. It made every class a chore.
Terms And Conditions Apply
"Love unconditionally"
Don't let this phrase allow you to keep people in your life who make you unhappy or treat you poorly.
No Means No
I think it would be have to be not to take no for an answer. You don't win every time.
Agreed, I feel like having someone aggressively refuse a no from me for trivial things alone would be uncomfortable after a while.
- _Dr_K
Yeah, sounds rapey.
My ex-friend told me that he had a crush on me over Snapchat. When I told him I didn't feel the same, he kept pushing me, asking for a secret relationship. When I made it clear I was not the slightest bit interested in that, he suggested we could stay friends, but we could cuddle, hold hands, and give each other cheek and forehead kisses. I, again, told him no, and he continued to push me.
I also got to see a new side of him after he finally realized I wasn't interested in him whatsoever. He started becoming a manipulative jerk, so he's not part of my life now.
The whole thing made me super uncomfortable and I'm glad I told him no. If he was that rude and persistent in that aspect, it worries me how he would have acted in a relationship.
So, yeah, there are times when you should take no for an answer. Don't make people unnecessarily uncomfortable.
At work we recently had to abolish an entire department and we're going to contract out for that position instead. We arranged a guaranteed interview with the contracting company for anyone who wanted one, so that hopefully they'd stay with us, just with a different employer.
One employee, Linda (who is a complete pain, apparently interviewed really terribly. She got a letter saying that she wasn't being offered a position. She immediately sent me (her boss) and my boss about 15 texts telling us we needed to "do something about this." When we were like yeah, there's nothing we can do, she then bombarded the person at the contracting company with emails angrily demanding an in-person meeting to "resolve it" and that she wouldn't take no for an answer.
Newsflash, Linda, that's not how you get a job.
Toxic Positivity
Giphy"Good vibes only/ always be positive/ etc."
While positivity is a great thing, and it's better to try to be optimistic than being pessimistic, blocking out all negativity is just a defense mechanism to keep you from acknowledging and coping with the things that bother you. Don't let negativity bring you down, but also don't be afraid to experience difficult emotions-- it's just a part of life.
Cut Off
Cutting off anyone who is toxic to you. Yes some people deserve to be cut off but pretty much everyone we know is toxic or hurtful to us at some point in our life why not put some effort into fixing the relationship and maybe figuring out the root cause of the issue rather then ruining every relationship as soon as things go slightly rocky?
Frienemies
"keep your friends close and your enemies closer"
don't associate with those you have animosity towards. it really fucks you up if you're around someone or something you don't like for too long and especially if it's consistently.
Self Care
"Focus on school/work/taking care of others/etc now and do life later."
False. You could die tomorrow. Even assuming everything goes as planned, that way of life will suck out all your happiness, passion, and drive long before you have a chance to enjoy the payoff. Its important to allow yourself regular happiness and freedom. If you don't make time for self care now, you will be forced to make time for it later.
Kids
'Have kids, it brings happiness to your life!'
- Having kids is not pure joy at all, it is like having a super hard job that can be really meaningful and satisfying, but is not meant for everyone. It is a cultural taboo talking about the negative side of parenthood, but even researches show that couples tend to feel happier without children.
- A child is not a tool to make you happy. When you genuinely feel that you have enough to share and you have realistacally thought through what having a child means for your life, you might want to go down that road, and make a new - probably happy - human being.
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People who've had bad encounters with someone they've never met shared their experiences when Redditor Jemuzu8304 asked:
"Whats the most f'ked up thing a complete stranger has done to you?"
Drivers and passengers recall their rude interactions.
The Prank
"One time I was in south Philly and a car pulled up with two guys in it. They called out to me asking for directions so I walked over. As I was explaining where to go the dude in the passenger seat spit in my face and they sped off."
– the_humbL_lion
Willing Victim
"You just reminded me of a similarly gross interaction:"
"Years ago after a doctor's appointment, I got into my car and turned it on, at which point a small child started leaning/sitting on the hood. His heavily pregnant mother stood by doing nothing, apparently distracted by her phone. I rolled down my window, and asked if she would mind getting her child off of my car, as I needed to leave, and was concerned he could get hurt."
"She asked if I had insurance. Confused, I answered '...yes?', to which she said 'Well I hope you DO hit him so I can get some MONEY!' She proceeded to lean in through my passenger window, and started spitting on me. The kid was no longer on my car, and I desperately wanted to get away from her, so I put my car in reverse. She then hurled her pregnant belly into my sideview mirror, and shrieked in such an exaggerated way, as if I had hit her."
"I eventually found a new doctor."
– TheHaydnPorter
Unwanted Car Wash
"Stopped at a red light one time. Someone from a building adjacent to the light threw a bag of ice and water on my car, from a few stories up. Dented the roof and shattered the windshield."
"Wasn't even a nice car, I was driving a Dodge neon sh*tbox."
– IAmPandaKerman
You never know the capabilities of strangers you encounter.
The Violent Thief
"I got held up at gun point 2 weeks ago in philly 10 feet from the door to my friends apartment. They stole both our watches. My watch was given to me by my dead uncle. https://imgur.com/a/V59aebW"
– xcpain93
Hit By A Hard Object
"Reminds me of something. Some a**hole tossed a lock, like the combination type out of a car at me and hit me in the knee. I had trouble walking correctly for damn near a month."
"I always thought if they'd have stopped at a light I'd have hurled that b*tch right back."
"Good thing they didn't. I wasn't in any condition for a fight."
– Ok_Relationship_705
Moving Targets
"I also have a drive-by experience but it was with a f'king paintball gun. My friend and I were in freshmen year, just walking to the park to play some ball and with no warning he suddenly recoils and shouts in pain. I had no clue what happened. He reaches at his back and when he turns around I see a bright red paint splat on his white shirt. I look up and see the car that just passed us turns around, pulls up next to us with the kid in the passenger seat hanging the gun out window saying 'Sorry bro, I’m just so surgical with this thing,' and speeds off. Pretty hilarious story in hindsight within our friend group now, but at the time we were pissed. Luckily we got their plates and the cops showed up at their house and they got in trouble. F'kers."
– zakxk
Wrong Target
"I was about 11 and me and some friends were standing on a small bridge over a lake. All of a sudden I was picked up and thrown over the railing into the lake below. I tried to grab onto anything I could as I fell and scrapped my arms up pretty good. I still have scars 30 years later. So I swim to the side and some older kid comes up to me and just say - sorry, I thought you were someone else."
– discostud1515
Attacks happen when you least expect it.
Random Attack
"Punched me, for no reason. I was standing. Waiting for the community bus. A stranger got out of the car and punched me. I filed the Police report but nothing happen."
– Hallo-Mapskollegen
Hitting The Elderly
"My grandmother was at the movies and a guy walking up the aisle punched her in the side of the head. He told the cops he was mad because he was on a bad blind date."
"Like...great excuse to wallop a 75-year-old woman minding her own business."
– BarracudaImpossible4
The Ferrari Guys
"Had a similar thing happen when I was in Downtown Los Angeles. I was crossing the street and just came up onto the sidewalk. Some dude in a Ferrari steps out of the car, walks up to me and tries to swing on me in broad daylight. I sidestepped this dude, and he then spun to try to hit me again, calling me a motherf**ker and not to dodge. I caught him with a nut shot with my foot and doubled him over."
"His buddy hops out of the car, and another of his buddies (I assume) gets up from the side of the sidewalk and both are yelling at me, and I'm like, 'ah, f'k, I'm not ready for this.'"
"These absolute legends who had been watching all this sh*t go down just appear out of nowhere and jump these guys for me. Like, six different people from out of the woodwork. Nutshot and Scrub (Ferrari guys) hop in the car and just take off, scraping the car and taking the right side view mirror off. Their (assumedly) other homeboy gets left behind, but he tries to stumblef'k his a** away after having taken a couple of hits to the head. One of the guys who helped me jogs up and punts this dude in the side right after he falls over, doubling him up. Meanwhile, everybody else is checking on me and making sure I'm good."
"Cops show up, detain us, figure out what's going on, let us go, and arrest homie that couldn't get away. Come to find out, these guys have been doing this for weeks, and the people who helped me were local residents who had been on the lookout for Nutshot. Arrested homie later squealed, and all the guys involved got a couple of years for aggravated assault."
– feronen
My bad interactions with strangers were all random but definitely premeditated assaults.
I was mugged twice in New York City while I was typically minding my own business.
Also, while I was in Barcelona, I had a team of youths pick-pocket me and run off with my wallet containing my passport and credit cards. Fortunately, the friend I was with saw what happened and ran off after them. She sucker-punched the young lady who had my wallet, causing her to drop it.
Be careful out there, folks!
"What is a fact or statistic that seems fake but is real?"
And You Thought Sharks Were Dangerous...
"Horses kill more people every year in Australia than all the other beasties combined."
"Everyone thinks it's the spiders and snakes that'll get you, but it's the horses you've really got to watch."- Gingerbread_Cat·
The Dangers Of Scientific Advancement
"It took us more time to go from bronze swords to iron swords than it did for us to go from iron swords to nuclear weapons."- IMJUSTABRIK
Frightening People For Generations!
"Sharks have existed longer than trees have."- Capital_Indication_4
Discovery Sharks GIF by Shark WeekGiphyThe Great Unknown
"I saw a scale model of the earth, moon and sun in a museum."
"The sun was about the size of a basketball, and the earth was on the opposite side of the room, the size of a small marble, I'd guess about 30 metres away."
"The moon was the size of a tiny pinhead, about 10cm away from the earth."
"On this scale, the nearest star to earth, Proxima Centauri, wouldn't be in the same building, or even in the same city."
"It would be 10,000km away."
"And that's just one star, the nearest one to us, in a galaxy containing billions of stars, which is just one of billions of galaxies."
"The scale of the universe really is mind bogglingly big."
"Far bigger than we can begin to comprehend."- Qabbalah
Zero Points To The Lost World For Authenticity...
"We live closer in time to Tyrannosaurus Rex than the T Rex did to the Stegosaurus."- reiveroftheborder
stegosaurus GIFGiphyFrom Bad To Worse?
"After the British made head protection mandatory in WW1, the amount of head wounds increased."
"It's due to they were no longer KIA, but 'only' a head wound."- WouldUKindlyDMBoobs
Sarah Palin Can Confirm...
"USA is only 2.4 miles from Russia."
"2 islands in the Bering Strait, the body of water in the Pacific Ocean that separates Alaska from Russia, are 2.4 miles from each other at the narrowest point; one island is owned by Russia, the other is owned by USA."- Qabbalah
But Where Did "Ginger" Come From?
"In English, the color orange was named after the fruit."
"Before that, orange was just considered a shade of red."
"That's why gingers are called redheads."- I_might_be_weasel
redhead wink GIF by KobieGiphyAt Least We Can Be Sure He Didn't Lie About It
"George Washington didn’t know dinosaurs existed."- Silver34
But What Did They Want To Do With Those Cobras?
"New Delhi hired people to hunt cobra snakes which led to people having Cobra Farms to earn money, then the government stopped the project which led the Cobra Farmers to release their snakes, causing twice as many snakes than they first started."- cathabit
The Truth Lies Between The Lines...
"Barcode scanners scan the white lines, not the black ones."- the_blast_radius
Scream Bar Code GIF by joelremygifGiphyBut Does It Make It Easier To Avoid?
"Wombat poo is cube shaped, to stop it rolling away."
Perception Can Be Dangerously Misleading
"The Oxford University in England existed centuries before the rise and fall of the Aztec civilization."- RefrigeratorStatus96
"Time Is The Longest Distance Between Two Places..."
"A million seconds is 12 days."
"A billion seconds is 31 years. "
"A trillion seconds is 31,688 years."
"People have a lot of trouble comprehending numbers that big."- sunbearimon
Loop Time GIF by PsyklonGiphyOne thing that makes science so remarkable is how difficult it can be to believe.
And yet, scientists have been working since the beginning of time to prove that facts are, indeed, facts.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.