People on Reddit were asked: "What's your best trolling law enforcement story?" These are some of the best answers.


One kid gets a scrap piece of paper and folds it into the shape of the tickets the cops are handing out and sits on the front steps with his head in hands repeating, "My parents are gonna kill me..." Cops just pass him right by.

evildaveletterman

2/24 Back when I was in school, the University newspaper ran a story about undercover cops using a younger, cute girl to camp outside the liquor store just off-campus and ask people to buy her beer. She'd give the people money, then ask them if they wanted to come back to her vehicle and share one as a way to say thanks.

Get back to where her car is supposed to be, van door opens up, cops inside, and you'd get a ticket for underage buying. Later that evening, my friend and I were going to this same liquor store to get some beer, when we were approached by a cute girl, who asked us if we could buy her a six pack of beer since she was underage.

Being an [idiot], I said sure, took her money and we went inside. About 10 seconds later I remember the piece about the undercover cops, and realized we were about to get arrested. At that point, we decided the best thing to do was to buy a 6 pack of super expensive root beer (blowing $9 of the $20 she gave us) and we put it in a paper bag.

We walked back out, and she asked us "Did you get it?" to which we said "Yeah, of course." She invited us back to her car to have one each as a thank-you. Sure enough, we head to the back and there's the black van. The door opens up, cops sitting in there with headphones on etc. and they tell us "You're in a world of trouble now."

I put on my best trollface and said "Really? I really thought you guys could use some root beer sitting out here in that cramped van all night." There was an awkward pause, and then they opened the bag. Root beer, nothing else.

Then they told us to get out of there, and we were interfering with a police investigation, and if we didn't leave we'd get arrested. We walked across the street to our apt. building went into the various laundry rooms and yelled out the window every time she approached someone that it was a sting. They left after 20 min. of that.

alcimedes

3/24 I was in the back of a police car. Wasn't under arrest, but I was drunk on New Year's and the cop was offering to take me back to the party I had come from, I suspect because he wanted to know where it was, possibly break it up later on. I let him know my suspicions and he denied them.

As we drove I asked him where the seat belts were in the back seat. He said "Don't worry about it." I said, "but what if we get pulled over?" He stopped the car and said "Get out."

getwet

4/24 This was about 10 years ago. My mother had a large plant in a plastic pot that died. I took the pot full of dirt and put it in the trunk of my car to replant something at my house. I forgot about it for a few weeks. I got pulled over for something. The cop asked, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" and I said, "Was it speeding, or was it because of the pot in my trunk?" He got me out of the car and had me put my palms on the hood while I was searched. He opened the trunk and was not happy. I got chewed out for wasting his time and such and such. I noticed that not one single car passed, so it wasn't wasting too much of his time.

Jolemz


5/24 I walked over to a police van (drunk), knocked on their window and once they opened it I, with a very serious and informative look said: "Excuse me sir, your window is open."

(Then I walked back to my friends, the police came after me and took me to the police station, but let's not get into that.)


harnitiharn

6/24 Around 2am on a Saturday night I was pulled over for suspicion of DWI. I hadn't had a drop. They asked me to step out of the car and gave me a sobriety test. I passed with flying colors.

They asked me if they could search the vehicle. I told them they could search the vehicle, with the sole exception of the center console. They would need a warrant for that.

After several hours sitting roadside, they finally produced a warrant from a judge. The center console was empty.

zackkitzmiller

7/24 There was a speed trap where I grew up on PA Route 74. One of the markers (since it was a vascar trap) was a white plastic jug. I often stopped along that route when I saw the jug there, grabbed the jug, and drove off.

I got stopped once doing this. The cop seemed really angry. I told him "I see that thing there all the time, and it bothers me that nobody has bothered to pick up that trash."


[deleted]

8/24 When my buddy and I were about 16 we'd spend a ton of time lurking around grocery/toy stores at 3am (toy stores earlier, obviously), until one of us got an idea looking at an item in a way that it was not intended to be used in the way we wanted to use it. Normal hilarity ensued (vaseline on padlocks, bubbles in fountains, that kind of stuff). This night was different.

We're sitting in the sandwich aisle of our large local store and my buddy's eyes light up. he looks over at me and goes "get that peanut butter, smooth kind". This having been about the 4th year of us doing this, I wasn't 100% sure where he was going with it, but I knew not to question, so I bough two of those huge smooth peanut butter things.

We walk outside, cross the street, and he tells me to rip the safety seal off the peanut butter, and to get some on my fingers, and mess up the smooth top. This was where it clicked in. We then proceed to walk absolutely as suspiciously as possible through this little town square. Sure enough, halfway through, we get spotlighted.

Cop pulls up, tells us to stop, and we both instinctively put the peanut butter behind our backs (obviously holding something). Cop gets out and the conversation with my friend goes like this: "What you got there son?" "Nothing" "What's behind your back?" "Nothing" (I giggle) "Show me your hands!" (My buddy very slowly puts the peanut butter behind his shoes and socks, and shows the cop his hands. "GIVE ME THAT" "It's mine"

So the cop reaches behind my friend's feet and grabs this jar of peanut butter. he spins the top off and sees that it's not in pristine shape. Demands to know what's in it.

My buddy: "Peanuts, salt, maltodextrin, red 3...." "WHAT DID YOU HIDE IN THE PEANUT BUTTER" "Nothing" "Then why do you have it?" "Sandwiches"



Cop looks at my pal and then back at me (still holding peanut butter behind my back), and he does it: shoves his hand and arm into my pal's peanut butter and starts throwing hunks out into the parking lot.

And my pal -loses- it.

He went off on a tyrade of peanut rights, the peanut rebellion, just harassing us because we're white, peanut civil rights, the peanut pride parade (WHO DOESNT KNOW ABOUT THE PPP?!?!!?!) and on and on.

He realizes there's nothing in it, and turns to me, furious. Doesn't say a WORD, just grabs my peanut butter, and almost knocks me over. I tell him Mr. Goodbar's lawyer will hear of this. He does the same thing to me, and I launch into a tyrade about my working family, and our right to sandwiches, and the peanut labor movement, and collective bargaining rights, and candy power fighting the man, and so on.

He figures out what's going on, and slams himself back into his car, covered in peanut butter. Yells something about us breaking curfew, kinda half chuckling, and tears out. My friend tells him he owes us a sandwich, as he drives away.

...and I thought that was the end of the story. And it was, until 5 years ago.

I'm telling this to my brother's best friend, who I did not know was the son of the police dispatcher for our town at this time.

Apparently, he had to go back and fill out incident paperwork, as there's no way to hide this peanut stuff on his steering wheel/car/uniform. The next day there was a sandwich on his chair. The day after that, baseball peanuts in his locker, the day after PB in the shower, etc etc etc.

He still gets peanut related trolling to this day.

Stealth5325

9/24 My mother drives a jeep, which the top is often off of. We pulled up in the fire lane out front of a bank (because my mother is kind of an idiot), and she ran inside to use the ATM. I was 15 at the time, and while she's inside a police officer walks up to the jeep, sticks his head in the drivers side window, and says "Is this your vehicle son?" to which I replied "Yes, I sometimes like to park in illegal places and sit in my own passenger seat." He didn't say a word, stood back, crossed his arms and just glared at me, My mom came out about ten seconds later. He took a look at her and said "Have a nice day ma'am." and walked away.


DrOPotnic

10/24 There's a bike path where I live that has a posted 15 mph speed limit for cyclists. One time a slightly overweight policeman actually sat on the trail with a radar gun and caught me going well over the limit. I managed to maneuver past him on the trail and he immediately mounted his mountain bike and began chasing me. Because I was riding a road bike, and was in much better shape than him, there was no chance of him catching me. I actually toyed with him a little, letting him catch up a little every now and then.

teabagalomaniac

11/24 On 4/20 this year, the cops were out all over campus. I was going to a friend's house to get royally [messed] up, and two cops pulled out in front of me, causing me to almost hit them.

They proceeded to race each other down the road for a while. They both go to get into a turning lane at the same time and one cop hits the other. They stopped, after putting on their lights, and got out to check the damage.

I pulled up next to them, rolled down my window and asked "Are you guys ok?" After they said that they were fine, I put on my best troll face and continued, "Do you need me to call the cops?" and sped off as the light turned green. They just glared at me until I was out of their view.

darkstarohio

12/24 Racing to get my girlfriend at the time home before curfew, I am [racing] down this windy mountain road. Make a turn, see a cop in a turnout, said, "Well, [crap]" and floored it. I know it will take him a few turns to catch me, so about 1/4 mile up the road I pull down a little known side street in the middle of a curve, kill the engine and the lights and pray. About 5 seconds later, here comes the cop, lights and sirens blaring, and thankfully, he shoots right past the road I was on. I found another route to get the girlfriend home.


xixoxixa


13/24 I grew up in a small town, REALLY small. The only way to have any form of entertainment was to drive 30 minutes to the next city to go to the movies, bowling, etc... Just so happens that on the highway halfway between the two cities there was a small town known for being a speed trap. The highway was out of the jurisdiction of the local police so what the marshal would do is hide in between overpasses to catch speeders, force them to pull over onto the frontage road, which was in his jurisdiction. Then he would claim an exaggerated speed. When people asked to see his radar, which is perfectly legal, he claimed that he didn't have to because it was illegal. Any claims reported to his superiors seemed to go ignored... until he ran into me.

Over time my friends and I had timed his patrols and realized that he patrolled towards the end of the month. One night he had stopped a friend for excessive speeding (the officer claimed 92 in a 60 zone, which was BS) and then we knew something had to be done. The officer had taken his plate number and claimed to have seen it speeding many different times and we knew he would look out for it. So I decided to take my phone and rig it up to record the speedometer and get pulled over by the officer. It took a few tries but I managed to get pulled over by the same officer (for doing 70 in 60, that being a 1st time offense). After giving him my license he went on to claim that i was doing at least 85, and giving me the whole bit about how he cannot show me the radar, as well as giving me a ticket claiming it was a repeat offence and how I should be put into jail. All this being caught on my phone without him noticing. So a few days later I show up to the courthouse to "pay" the ticket and I manage to talk to the mayor of the town and showed him the video of all this. Thanks to me the officer got fired and I didn't have to pay a $400 ticket from a douchebag.

jethrothekid

14/24 After being pulled over to the side of a two lane highway for speeding:

Officer: "Why were you in such a rush?"
Me: "Just keeping up with traffic sir."
Officer: "There's no one in front of you."
Me: Cheeky grin "Goes to show you how fast traffic is moving today."

I got a ticket.


hadababyeatsaboy

15/24 In the city I live in, you need to purchase a license to work in public spaces/the street. A few weeks ago, I was walking through a pedestrian zone, where a man was playing the violin and I stopped by to listen. Sure enough, within a minute two policemen showed up and asked him for his license.

Of course he didn't have one, so the started taking his information to give him a fine. That's when an old lady started talking to me really loudly about how that's a shame and I answered something along the line of: "They are right to stop him. What would become of the world if everybody just started to play music on the street? People might start dancing!"

This goes on for about 5 minutes, the lady and me standing about 3 feet from the police and maybe 20 people stopped and were watching, everyone else walking by is smirking. It was a good feeling when I heard: "You know what? We're gonna let you go this time. Make sure to buy a license."

GreenPresident

16/24 Got arrested after walking out of a bar when I was 18 with a six pack. Cops said the only way I wouldn't be charged was if I would walk back in the bar in a couple weeks (with a recording device) and buy another six pack, probably putting the bar out of business. I agreed. Walked into the bar, asked for a six pack and when the bartender looked me in the eyes I just shook my head at him and mouthed "NOOOooo." He ID'd me told me to get out. Cops get nothing, I didn't get charged.


astro_turf


17/24 When I was 16 or 17 I would mow lawns for extra cash in the summer. One day I was driving back from mowing a smaller lawn, I had carried the push mower there in the trunk of my car but had left it there because I was mowing their neighbor's yard the next day. On my way home I got pulled over by a Sheriff for going a little too fast and he asked me if I had anything in the car he needed to know about. I told him, with a smile, that I had some grass in the trunk. He pulled me out of my car, slapped cuffs on me and opened the trunk to see some dried grass clippings from the mower. He was rather irritated

Offtopic_bear

18/24 I was walking through penn station with hand rolled cigarette behind my ear. The thing looks just like a joint so naturally the cops stopped me. They were quite displeased when they opened it.


morphotomy

19/24 Junior year of college all of my roommates and I were 21 years of age. I was the only one with a car so I was the one who always had to go on beer runs.

You can say I look a bit underage for my age and I drove a sportier car. So within the first month of buying alcohol from this one place I got pulled over 4 times (not kidding) after leaving the liquor store. I noticed they had no reason to pull me over except the fact that I looked under 21. The cops did play legally I guess by following me until I did something stupid or noticed something wrong with my car: license plate light out, took a right turn into the second lane, side view mirror was broken, rolling stop right turn on a red light. (they made me do a sobriety test once on our busy college street. I got a lot of honks)

Well after completely inspecting my car I went out again to purchase alcohol. No surprise, I was being followed by cops when I left. I knew that if I drove perfectly they could not pull me over. I drove around the block for about 15 minutes and I was shocked they were still following me. I eventually hoped onto the highway, got off, and then back on. After about 40 minutes of charades I was getting thirsty and missing the pregam so I pulled into my driveway. The cops followed me, waited till I opened my trunk and ran in and asked to see my ID for the liquor. I pulled it out with a big grin and they got in their cars and left.

I never got pulled over again, maybe because they finally realized, hey this [guy] is 21.

Polysporin

20/24 I was speeding once....and I mean seriously speeding. I saw the lights come up behind me and freaked. I pulled over and noticed I had a bottle of water next to me. Took it and poured it all over my lap and put on the most embarrassed look I could. He asked if he knew why he pulled me and I responded "I'm sorry officer, I really had to pee and was trying to get to the nearest restroom...but, (innocent eyes) I peed myself."


Something in me knew that this cop did not want me to touch his pen, his paper, didn't want to touch my license, nothing. As far as he was concerned, I was just disgusting. He said "Well, next time, use the bathroom before you leave and slow it down." and let me go.

Olliebird


21/24 When I was underage the only thing to do around my town was go downtown with friends and drink root beers or italian ices from the coffee house. One summer night my friends and I get a couple I.B.C. bottles and walk back to our cars. Halfway there an unmarked jumps onto the sidewalk and a couple undercover cops get out. They are about to write citations for underage and open container when we inform them we're drinking root beer. They sheepishly stalk away and we ask repeatedly "Really? There isn't more pressing criminal matters at hand tonight?"

Small town America, where cops look for trouble and fabricate some if none can be found.

MoonJive

22/24 I am an attorney, and a client was complaining about being followed by the cops every time he was in town. I met him at his house, and I drove his car one Saturday night. Sure enough, about five minutes later, a local cop started following me. I made 20+ turns, all legal, and the cop followed me in every turn. He quit following me when I pulled into my office parking lot (but I waved as he drove by).

I told the client to get a different car, and his problems stopped with traffic stops. I told the district attorney what I did, and I got better plea offers for cases where cops were being [jerks].


IFightTheLaw

23/24 It was a few days before new years in the bay area's Chinatown. I was about 14 then and me and my group of friends would always walk from school to my house just to hang out and play video games. There were about 6 of us walking up this really steep hill to where I lived. When you have lived in the same area for over 10 years, you notice things that are unusual, out of place and just doesn't seem right. The strange thing I noticed was a guy, late 30's, with sunglasses on and a hat sitting in a white pick up truck reading a magazine.

We were inside my apartment for about 30 minutes before we decided to go get some food. I saw the truck on the other corner and the guy spots us. He rolls down his window and yells "Do you guys have any fireworks for sale?" I told him I couldn't hear him but I clearly heard him. He asked again "I said do you guys have any fireworks for sale?" I told him again that I couldn't hear him. All of a sudden, he makes a turn, goes down the hill and pulls right up to us. "Do you guys have any fireworks for sale?" I said "nope" and he goes "I know you guys do, I'm not a cop so it's cool." I told him that it doesn't matter if he's a cop or not, we don't sell fireworks because it's illegal." He starts to get irriated and starts yelling at us at this point. "Come on guys, stop being wussies. I just want to buy some fireworks for my kids." We are actually walking down the street with him slowly driving next to us asking.

I told him one last time. "I know you're a cop and you're just doing your job but honestly, we do not sell fireworks. And by the way, a cable car is coming." He goes "So what?" I told him "Because you're going down a narrow one way street with the cable car coming up the hill towards you." He literally [crapped] his pants as he see's the cable turn the corner in full speed. He reverses as fast as he could, clipping a few cars on his way up the hill. A cop on top of the hill sees this and pulls the guy over. The dude gets out of his truck and pulls out his badge to show the other cop that he was undercover.

sumchinesewill

24/24 I went to a Phish show once and pulling into the parking lot beside us were a bunch of 20 somethings who looked out of place. First glaringly obvious clue that they were undercover was their brand new tie dyed t-shirts. Add to that they just didn't fit well with the scene. I wandered over to their car and noticed government license plates... So we followed them and yelled undercover to let everyone know to stash their [stuff]. They pulled us aside and said we'd be arrested for endangering a police officer's life if we didn't stop, so we did.


hippye

Source

Guayo Fuentes / Shutterstock.com

You May Also Like
Hi friend— subscribe to my mailing list to get inbox updates of news, funnies, and sweepstakes.
—George Takei