What is "normal" anyway?
Does something being "normal" mean that it's right or healthy? Or safe? Or even makes sense?
Reddit user Buttercuppy44 asked:
"What's something people should stop normalizing?"
... and you know what... a lot of this kinda hit in that uncomfortable way that makes you re-think things. So let's talk about it and maybe change some habits.
Humans Need Sleep
Tired Jet Lag GIFGiphy"Bragging about getting less than 6 hours of sleep." - sumtinfunny
"It honestly scares me when I hear people brag about getting next to no sleep and I know that they drive to get around."
"There have been studies that driving tired can be just as dangerous as driving drunk, and all it takes is one time nodding off at the wheel for someone to get killed." - danger-daze
"This really aggravates me.. I dated a girl in high school would force herself to INTENTIONALLY stay awake, then put black makeup on under her eyes and act fake-tired to give off the impression of not being able to sleep."
"It genuinely irritates me when people say and do things like that when in reality they're sleeping like babies and there's people with actual sicknesses like insomnia and depression who don't sleep at night." - bongripsnkickflips
"Admittedly this was me years ago until I realized what an idiot I was being and that also no one cared. No one was gonna give me a medal for gaming all night and then telling the office the next day." - KatanaDV20
Sick Days
I Feel Sick GIFGiphy"Coming to work sick. People tend to get praised for that, but they are in fact just endangering others to get sick as well and in the end it costs the company more as if they just stayed home." - derEggard
"This always gets to me. Two kinds of people stand out at work:"
"Those that take a sick day off for a light headache or just outright skive, causing more work for others constantly - who obviously take the piss, and I mean obviously."
"Then there are the people who come into work on death's door, potentially spreading what they have when they should be home resting, which makes other people sick who take time off or make other people sick..."
"If you're sick, go home! If you're not sick, go to work!" - Yayzeus
"I used to work in a grocery store that did service awards every year. One year a Bakery worker was awarded for never taking a sick day on his 25 year career."
"I cannot believe the man had never been sick in 25 years - and he's the one preparing the baked goods." - goldanred
A Badge Of Honor
Stressed Paper GIF by Two Mortgage GuysGiphy"Overworking really has become a badge of honor. Probably because sometimes it's rewarded."
"I've seen people get praise for working late from their leaders. Things like, "Hey I see the people who stay late" when someone leaves hours after close."
"What if their time management just sucks? What if they're just catching up as a personal preference and it's not hard nor necessary? And heaven forbid, what if the person leaving on time wants to be with family or live life beyond work?" - dayron669
"I've seen people still wear it like a badge of honor even when it's NOT encouraged!"
"Those people drive me a bit nuts, if I'm honest, and I've made a point of telling them that it's neither healthy nor a good way to get 'noticed' (I'm going the networking route instead to get recognition within the company which is genuinely paying off)."
"The reward for doing more work is more work - not a pay rise. I wish people would understand this." - XCinnamonBun
Enough With The Ads
Comedy Central Advertising GIF by South ParkGiphy"Ads on stuff you've paid for."
"It's bad enough on TV, but now some companies are talking about doing ads on video games! Whoever thought TV-ads on full priced games is a good idea, should take a shower in white phosphorus." - DinkaHakumai
"My ISP started putting unskippable ads at the start of recorded shows because everyone was obviously skipping them. This should 100% be illegal." - microwavedave27
"And the ads at the pump. Can I not get gas without commercials?" - bonafidebunnyeyed
"They even have floating advertisements on some beaches in Florida. These companies won't chill."
"Man imagine relaxing on a beautiful beach at sunset and some a**hole's got a bright movie screen playing ads across the horizon..." - a-strange-glow
Marriage Isn't Jail
married with children ed oneill GIFGiphy"Married couples disliking one another. Normalizing abusive and toxic elements in marriage is lame, bro." - user deleted
"I cant stand when people post sh*tty marriages on social media as a joke. Oh, my husband ignores me and only talks to our dog so funny. So lame.." - SpaceAlienCowGirl
"This. I'm straight as an arrow and I prefer seeing gay relationships in media because 9 times out of 10 they're healthy, functional, and it's obvious that the ones in a said relationship truly care and appreciate each other."
"Meanwhile almost every straight relationship just makes me question love in its entirety." - Insanebrain247
"I really hate the trope of husband and wife hate each other or when someone gets married everyone make jokes about how terrible marriage is."
"It shouldn't be like that. I feel like it's normalizing it so much to the point that people get married and almost expect to hate each other" - HermitToadSage
"Yep! I hate this stereotype that marriages almost always consist of two people with secret deep-rooted hate for one another."
"It's made into this thing we laugh about and see so much of in movies & stuff that people accept it in their own marriage & just stay together unhappy and subjecting their kids to so much!"
"It's not normal at all. If you married the wrong person for you, get a freaking divorce and move on. Stop staying in miserable marriages." - jadedjade94
Your Opinion
Sassy Swipe GIF by Real Prosperity, Inc.Giphy"Having an opinion on everything. It's okay to look at something on the internet and think to yourself 'I don't have to care about this.' " - SymphonicStorm
"This is amazing advice."
"On some issues that affect me directly, I have a strong opinion - but for most things, I just don't. I always respond with something so neutral that the only people who get offended by it are people who are looking for a reason to get offended."
"The best thing to say against someone who is trying to get offended is: 'I don't know enough about [subject] to have a strong opinion.' " - AceP_
"My dad recently asked me what I thought about Critical Race Theory. I told him I hadn't heard any clear enough definition of it such that I could have an opinion (though I knew exactly whose interpretation of it he was going on lol), and asked him what he thought it meant."
"He took a beat to ponder, then changed the subject." - akgeekgrrl
Vacay
Tamar Braxton Love GIF by WE tvGiphy"Working while on vacation. You go on vacation to relax and enjoy yourself, not to try to fill out spreadsheets and deal with work stuff in your hotel room." - earhere
"We just need TWO DAYS for our wedding tomorrow and a relax day Monday - and my fiancé is having a meltdown trying to get things prepared for not being there."
"It breaks my heart. He works 6 days a week and if he takes a day off he is dealing with a week worth of mistakes the other workers have made or fixing things they slacked off on. He gets 4 phone calls and loads of text messages every time he tries to relax."
"The worst part, he isn't a doctor or runs an emergency service company or anything. He's the manager of a f*cking shoe store!"
"Like it's not life or death. Leave the guy alone. It's f*cking shoes." - malice816
Down With Homework
Studying College Life GIFGiphy"I don't think homework should be a thing. As an adult, you are not supposed to work on your free time. Neither should kids."
"As an adult, doing more hours of work after work is seen as a sign that you're being overworked. The same should apply to children." - keeperofheads
"My oldest had to go through this."
"She would get so overwhelmed she'd run out of time and just shove assignments under her bed. Luckily, my youngest is now in high school and rarely has homework."
"All that excessive homework sets kids up to take jobs that have them take work home as adults. It's seriously problem in the US" - SixxTheSandman
"At the risk of undermining the efforts of students reading this, there is no evidence that regular homework is of any benefit."
"I talked to an acquaintance who is an educational researcher and she said there's squat evidence. The only time it helps is if there is a remedial necessity. And then only for limited periods."
"She said if you, say, were deficient in the math work being presented, then the best outcome was reached with a program of about a month. To upskill to the level being taught so that you "get" that section, ensuring the fundamentals up to that point were met."
"Then carry on as regular. Rinse and repeat if further issues arose."
"Not incessant hours every night. Homework should be of a remedial reactive nature. Fight me!!!" - hastingsnikcox
Wine Moms
Drink Drink Drink Drinking GIF by Cat & NatGiphy"Alcoholic moms."
"No, you don't NEED to bring wine to your daughters soccer game. It's not quirky. It's awful."
"Wine mom stuff on social media only strengthens it and makes it more popular." - DarthVerona
"I didn't realize how much alcoholism slips under the radar because of wine mom stuff until I quit drinking. It's everywhere." - blankspacefood
"Ugh, the whole "mommy juice" thing makes me cringe. If parenting is honestly that difficult and stressful for you, you're doing it wrong." - suchlovelylilacs
"My SIL does this all the time and she thinks she's being cool af. Recently it's come to light that's she's an alcoholic." - OtherComparison
That's Not Romance. That's Cheating
the notebook love GIFGiphy"Cheating. Sooo many 'love stories', or just any sort of romance movie released these days have cheating involved."
"It's always branded as this romantic thing to do. 'Oooo look at this dark and brooding handsome guy. Time to sleep with him and forget about my 2 year relationship!' or some sh*t like that."
"It's not romantic, it's cheating. And it's just wrong, and it should not be normalized." - VolcanicIron
"Example: The Office Jim and Pam."
"Pam had a boyfriend! Granted not a great one one, but that doesn't warrant cheating at all." - Aleasaurus
"I always hate the movies where the girl is seeing two guys at once (and it's not something they're all aware of and agreed to) cause she 'just can't decide.' "
"Then at the end she's like 'I choose you!' and then the guys supposed to be grateful even though she was seeing another dude the whole time" - Jack1715
Just Try Harder
try harder episode 12 GIF by The BachelorGiphy"That anything is possible if you try hard enough."
"Don't get me wrong - a lot is possible, but not eeeeeverything. There are factors beyond ourselves that determine our success. The best we can do is to give our best, and be happy that we've done so." - amarsupialmongoose
"This is also an important message for people with disabilities. We often hear something like 'You can do anything you could put your mind to, it just may be a little harder!' "
"No, that's not always true, and that's okay." - Jwalla83
"We tell kids they can be anything they want to be when they grow up, even an astronaut or The President - but job scarcity is real and we should be honest about it."
"I recognize the importance of that attitude on young kids: don't limit yourselves. But the truth is that there have only been 46 US Presidents and fewer than 1000 humans have gone to space." - Snoo74401
"Yes, exactly!"
"My son talked about being an astronaut on and off, but as he approached his teens, I finally leveled with him. I told him there was no way he was going to be an astronaut because he doesn't have perfect vision, so can't be a pilot in the armed forces to then get set on the very rarified path to get there."
"I also noted that if he was interested in space, there was a ton of stuff he could do and pointed out how the various rovers and probes and the like were doing far more these days than actual astronauts. There's so much potential for him to explore in the field that he can actually have a chance to do rather than waste his efforts striving towards something that is impossible."
"You don't want to discourage kids from dreaming or exploring their potential, but there's still a point where you need to balance that with a dose of reality. My five year old is never going to be a dragon anymore than my fourteen year old will be an astronaut, but I expect she'll figure that out on her own at some point before it becomes an issue. ;)" - TheFyrebird
"Telling people they can do anything if they just try harder is good in spirit, but absolutely toxic in effect. People learn to beat themselves up for not succeeding." - Fluid_reference
Now that we've read all the way through, I'm going to go get a mug of hot cocoa and stare pensively off into the distance while I think about all the ways I'm pretty sure some of this stuff has sabotaged my life.
Hmm. Time to process some things.
Reddit user New-Low5765 asked:
"People who work in the airline industry, what are some of the craziest things you have seen?"
Don't Drink And Tow Aircraft
"Worked as ground crew. 2nd day on the job we were issued a notice to gather."
"So when you check in every morning you’re supposed to always take a breathalyzer test to prove you can like you know, ride around the tarmack, use pushbacks on planes, etc..."
"For whatever reason this dude hadn’t taken it/got past without taking it."
"He was not sober."
"He was tasked with pulling a 370 [aircraft] into a hangar."
"He eyeballed it for whatever reason."
"So here we are watching a video of this absolute loon break the whole wing off while damaging the hangar in the process."
"Because he was drunk, insurance doesn’t kick in."
"We were promptly told that Christmas bonuses might be a bit smaller."
~ ProbablyChe
Occupational Hazard
"Someone had the tip of their finger cut off when closing the door to the plane and didn't say anything until the flight landed at the arrival gate and when the door was opened the chunk of finger fell out."
"The staff then said, 'Oh yeah, that's my finger. you can throw it away'."
"I guess he just bandaged and wrapped his own hand."
"It was about 1/4 of his finger including the nail that was cut off. The cutoff portion wasn't particularly bloody and it was really pale."
~ If_I_remember
"A plane I got on once almost left without half of its aircrew on it."
~ BeerisAwesome01
"'Let’s just go, they can meet us there'."
~ InformativePenguin
"Plot twist. That included the pilots."
~ Windyandbreezy
Excess Baggage
"Coffin with dead body inside being left off the flight due to overload without notice either to us or the family and the family realising it by seeing it while the plane was leaving and screaming to us."
~ elenivog
employee of the month ups GIFGiphyNoped Out
"Saw the pilot walk into the passenger area and say 'I'm not flying this piece of sh*t' and get off the plane."
"All the passengers followed him."
~ Jaded-Session8422
"Hell yeah, I'm following the pilot off the plane if something like this happens!"
~ lukaron
Giphy"I had something similar happen, but never got on the plane."
"It was sitting there seemingly ready but they never started boarding."
"Eventually the pilots walk off the plane and a few of us heard them say ‘This junk isn’t going anywhere’."
"Flight ended up getting cancelled a short time later."
~ potatocross
"I was threatened with [pilots walking out] multiple times a week as an aircraft dispatcher."
"Auxiliary power units (APUs) run the air conditioning (AC) in the aircraft and they were always broken down and not fixed quickly, so when the pilots show up it is hot as hell inside and there's no ground crew to connect the external AC."
"So I would get a call from the Captain telling me he is not going to fly this piece of shit because it is too hot."
"Then they'd go on a tirade about how bad the company sucks because they don't do maintenance."
"I would agree with them completely."
Giphy"Then by the end of the call they'd say they will take it but the company sucks and needs to fix the APU."
"Occasionally the captain would refuse it, but then the ground crew would hook up the AC and they would always get back inside and fly it."
"For sure there were issues that popped up where the AC had an unsolvable issue and it would result in a cancelled flight."
~ Winchery
"I’m Dallas-Fort Worth based. No APU/AC in November? Meh, whatever."
"No APU/AC in August in Texas?"
"I’m not going on that airplane. Ground just can’t keep up."
~ poser765
☣️ Bio-Hazard ☣️
"Flight diverted to my airport because a girl in hotpants got uncontrollable diarrhea from the laxatives she took before the flight to help get over her weekend binge in Vegas."
"She sh*t in her seat and down the aisle and all over the bathroom."
"Five other passengers had uncontrollable vomiting because of this and the panic on the plane from the crew and rest of passengers caused the plane to make an emergency landing."
"They ended up having to cancel the remaining leg of the flight to decontaminate the plane."
"Police were sent and interviewed her and her friends and no charges were filed. I don't know if the airline put her on any kind of no-fly list or tried to have her pay for damages."
~ If_I_remember
GiphyHighly Unsuccessful
"There were two suitcases checked in that were full of nothing but weed."
"The police arrested him in the gating area & confiscated the bags."
~ Traditional_Pair4840
"Something similar happened when I was a ramp rat back in the 1960s."
"Law enforcement was going to do the arrest at his destination."
"The weed disappeared before they got there."
~ endadaroad
Stealthiest Catch
"As a baggage handler I once had a shipment of live Alaskan crabs escape their container on the ramp."
"Flights were delayed."
"Turns out those guys scatter when they panic and try to hide under anything and everything."
~ Gregwaaah
"My significant other worked doing maintenance checks on commercial planes."
"This explains why they once found a bunch of dead crabs under the floorboards in the cargo bay. It was a mysterious mystery."
~ Highly_Referential
Avoiding A Strip Search?
"A fully naked woman just walked through the terminal and tried to walk through security like she wasn’t fully naked."
~ Commercial-Chance561
"She was just very considerately trying to make it easier for TSA."
~ TrooperJohn
"They make you take off your shoes but they don't say that's all you can take off."
~ smartguy05
Language Barrier
"I witnessed this in the security screening of a large American airport."
"And to be fair, there was a language barrier as the passenger in question seemed to be speaking mainly French, and struggling to understand the TSA agent's instructions in English."
"Female passenger (tall, attractive, and sophisticated-looking) was wearing a business suit with a pencil skirt and matching jacket, which was buttoned closed, going through security."
"The TSA agent told her she had to remove the jacket. She ignored and tried to go through anyway."
"He stopped her and told her again more loudly (that's when everyone started noticing)."
"She said no. He insisted. She refused again, and tried to walk through."
Giphy"He got angry."
"She tried to explain something but it was unclear because her English was poor."
"It went back and forth."
"They both started getting angry and frustrated. It started holding up the line and other passengers were getting agitated."
"A few people tried to intervene and explain more calmly that she needed to put her jacket through the x-ray machine."
"Finally, near tears, she blurted out 'fine' and removed her jacket, revealing that she was wearing nothing at all underneath, and walked through the screening machine topless."
~ SigmaSeal66
I'm a nervous flyer so it's not something I do often, but I still feel a little cheated that nothing this bizarre has happened while I was traveling.
Has something ever happened during your travels?
Share it in the comments.
A good friend is not always the one with whom you share laughs and fun experiences.
The friendships you want to keep include those who won't abandon you in a time of need or someone who supports you in a variety of complicated situations where not even a family member can be relied upon.
Unfortunately, many of us have experienced a time when a person's true colors revealed to us that the so-called "friend" we've always trusted wasn't one at all.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Aesthetik_1 asked:
"What made you instantly realize This 'friend' is not a real friend?"
These Redditors didn't realized at the time that they were being used.
Recurring Favor
"When he only called me when he needed something. It didn't hit me until much later."
– Queasy-Location-9303
"I have one of those 'friends'. She always gushes about how we're friends but she never initiates contact unless she wants me to do something for her."
– StiffAssedBrit
The Errand Girl
"Several years back, I had a friend who introduced me to this new boy she was seeing. Maybe a year later, their relationship blew up in a fury of bs (whole other story), but by the time they split, I was equally friends with both of them. He and I were both photographers at the time, so the friendship was instantaneous."
"One day we started talking about her, neither positively nor in poor taste, just kind of in general."
"He then asked me 'when she texts to hang out, what does she usually want to do?'"
"I paused. I thought. Holy sh*t, she'd either be asking for a favour or for help with some kind of errand. I was her f'king errand girl."
"She texted me a month or two later, just a 'hey'. I never responded. She never texted again."
"I'm still friends with her ex, though. That dude is genuine as heck."
– ChamomileBrownies
Testing The Friendship
"When you decide to let them be the one to reach out. And you never hear from them again."
– plzdontgetmad
"Yup. Made plans with a friend three times, she cancelled each time. I finally told her to let me know when she was free, we haven’t hung out since."
"She was a good friend for the season, but not a lifetime."
– NoMrBond3
People were shocked to discover the moment they realized they didn't really know who their "friend" was anymore.
The Chaperon
"I had been giving rides to a girl I thought was my friend. To and from school in high school. She wasn’t really suppose to ride with other teens but due to her mothers work hours we could easily pull this off. I thought we were close."
"One day while on the way home my brakes went out. We were about 2 blocks from her gated neighborhood. I managed to roll in safely and parked at her house to call a tow truck."
"She flipped. Told me I couldn’t stay. She knew my brakes were not working as she had also been terrified when we couldn’t stop. She said she wanted to go to a movie that weekend with other friends and her mom would ground her if she saw me at the house. I offered to lie and say I only stopped there as my car malfunctioned on my way home. I had to pass her neighborhood on my way home anyways."
"She refused. Started to scream at me. She didn’t care what happened I had to go. Started to call the guard at the front gate to tell them I had broken in and was threatening her."
"I left her and that friendship that moment. I managed to roll my car slowly to a mechanic not too far away but never forgot the shi* feeling of knowing I could have been seriously hurt and she wouldn’t have cared. She wanted to see a movie. She had the nerve to sheepishly call and ask me a couple days later if I could give her a ride to school. Told her I was too busy and no longer had time… after all I wanted to help her obey her mom's rules. She rode the bus til she graduated."
– Duffarum
Unwilling Companion
"I had this friend in school. Each year there was a funfair in our city, all students received vouchers for a drink and something to eat. This friend complained the whole day that she had no one to accompany her to the funfair. So, stupid me offered to go with her."
"Once we arrived we met another friend of hers. And another, and another... until we were a group of 5 or 6 people. I didn't know anyone and was basically just walking behind them. This friend took me aside and said, 'My friends think you are annoying, and we would like you to leave.'"
"It was a pleasure to see that she failed her exams a year later."
– Auldale
There's the spirit of competition, but when it's taken seriously, we're no longer game for these friendships.
I Can Do It Better
"Constantly 'one ups' me. A real friend is happy for you."
– Complex-Half8338
"That one time I got a fake bag but she doesn’t know and then 2 weeks later messaged me that she also bought a luxury bag… Then when I got a bf, she also went to get a bf within 3 months which is TOTALLY fine but she constantly messages me for us to go on a double date. Anyways, sadly they didn’t last long :( I mentioned that I wanted to go to Cuba, she went ahead and bought herself a ticket to Cuba but I didn’t end up going lol"
– Hot-Coffee-8465
Never Steal The Spotlight
"When they loved the idea of me shining, but behind their shadow, I could never do or achieve anything above them, and when I did, they would get jealous."
– Jasssin23
"Yes! I recently ghosted a friend because of this kind of behavior. She was trying to compete about EVERYTHING. Like she bragged about how her mom’s car accident was more traumatic than my elderly MIL’s - which is not even an appropriate thing to compare. She would also try to 'outshine' celebrations of my milestones and was mean to several of my friends for no apparent reason. She was a loose cannon at best."
– thefifthtrilogy
All About Me
"ALL she talks about it herself and her problems. Granted she has a a lot but never asks about me or my life until she realizes she just bypassed my attempt to want to talk about something in my life bothering me and continued to talk about herself."
– PokemomOnTheGo
People can just be so rude.
"When I got really sick. Very few came to help."
– Tofflus1
"Same here. I got cancer and everyone I knew was over the top supportive for the first six months and then all but three of my friends just vanished. I saw one of them at a Halloween party while I was going through chemo and she told me that my bald head made people uncomfortable. I was dressed as Captain Picard, it was awesome and she ruined it."
– CatGoNoTail
Not Missing High School
"At lunch, she was sitting with her boyfriend, I was sitting with our friend circle. She came up to me, guilted me into sitting with her and her boyfriend, and then proceeded to ignore me for the rest of lunch."
"She didn't care about me, she just didn't want me talking to the friend circle that she had abandoned for her boyfriend. When I pointed this out to her, she called me a jealous b*tch."
"Ah, high school. How I don't miss thee."
– Symnestra
These examples actually served as a good reminder for me to take a moment and assess my friendships.
Not so much about how I've been treated but more about checking myself to see if I'm respecting the people I call my friends.
We've all been guilty of casually mentioning future plans to get together. I embarrassingly wait for people to initiate something, which is terrible.
Show up for your friends. Make them feel important like the individuals they are.