Power Hungry People Share Inconvenient Rules They'd Impose If They Were In Charge
Power Corrupts
[rebelmouse-image 18358781 is_animated_gif=There's a saying: power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
But the idea of absolute power can be intriguing and perhaps a little enticing. Given the chance to be dictator for a day, would we do it? If we did it, what would we do?
Reddit user Deity_Of_Death asked "If you were a dictator, what kind of ridiculous dictator-like stuff would you do?"
People let their inner authoritarian out and came up with their own despotic to-do lists.
5 Step Plan
[rebelmouse-image 18358784 is_animated_gif=- People who drive slow in the left lane get their cars taken away and crushed in a compactor in front of their eyes.
- People who stand in the checkout line talking on their cell phone get thrown into solitary confinement for a week to learn the joy of peace and quiet.
- Vaccines are mandatory for everyone (except those with actual medical issues).
- American "chocolate" is hearby banned for all time. Only high-quality European chocolate may be consumed.
- And because I'm a benevolent dictator, free ice cream on Fridays. Good ice cream, not that stuff with 50-million ingredients.
The Darwin Purge
[rebelmouse-image 18358785 is_animated_gif=Assuming I'm dictator of the world (as that's the only situation where this plan would work), I'd pass a law both banning and requiring the removal of all warning labels. Our species is due for a culling in the next 200 years. Why not get ahead of the game and let natural selection do the work? A side bonus of said law would be the living population would inherently be more intelligent, because the bozos who need a sign that says "WARNING HIGH VOLTAGE DO NOT TOUCH" in order to not touch something dangerous will weed themselves out of existence.
Selective Breeding
[rebelmouse-image 18358786 is_animated_gif=As a dictator, I'd have the science developed to switch off everybodies ability to reproduce. They'd have to apply for a license to have a kid.
As long as they're decent, educated, and have the means to raise a kid, they'll get their reproductive capability switched on until the mother becomes pregnant. Then it's off again.
Yes, of course all alternative family styles are eligible. I'm a dictator, not a monster.
Castro's Cuba
[rebelmouse-image 18358788 is_animated_gif=Become obsessed with milk and dairy products, I'd import cows from Canada and breed them with local cows to create the perfect milk producing cow that can survive the heat.
Create an entire air conditioned facility the size of a football field to house my cows, ignore my peoples wants and needs to fuel my cow empire
Reverse Customer Service
[rebelmouse-image 18358789 is_animated_gif=Immediately every person who has never worked retail or restaurant reports for six months of training so they can know how to treat someone in those positions.
Religious Exhibition
[rebelmouse-image 18358790 is_animated_gif=Round up every multi-millionaire religious leader and put them on display in a public zoo.
Lactose Tolerance
[rebelmouse-image 18358791 is_animated_gif=Install a hamster like water bottle filled with my choice of flavored milk.
Education Special
[rebelmouse-image 18358792 is_animated_gif=Education would be much more important. No dropping out. No failing. There would be different tiers for different levels of intelligence. Teachers would be the highest paid state job there is with ridiculously high credentials required. Teacher to student ratio would be in a very desirable range.
Capital Punishment
[rebelmouse-image 18352473 is_animated_gif=My nation would officially be renamed Badassistan, and the only official law would be "don't be a jerk".
Fortunately, as the Great and Unimaginably Head Badass of Badassistan, I am the sole arbiter of what does and does not constitute being a jerk.
- Caught arguing about politics on the internet? That's a hanging.
- Ghosted someone 'cuz you're too much of a wimp to break up with them? That's a hanging.
- Refused to pet a sad looking puppy? You better believe that's a hanging.
Cattitude
[rebelmouse-image 18358793 is_animated_gif=Ban all religions except my own. My friends and I have started a new religion where we worship cats as our Gods. When faced with a tough situation, I ask myself "Would a cat judge me for doing this?" If the answer is yes I just don't do it.
Well, the best thing about this religion is that you can be anywhere in the world and believe and follow the same ideals. You don't need any official ceremony to enter the religion.
The rules are:
- Don't be an a-hole.
- Love cats and accept in your heart that cats are superior to you. You will never be as cool, smart and badass as a cat.
- You must attempt to talk to and pet any and every cat you see.
- You must watch cute kitten videos and share them with all your friends as often as you can. The more, the better.
Right to Work
[rebelmouse-image 18358794 is_animated_gif=Make it illegal to be unemployed, with the appropriate agency to help you get a job of course.
If you turn out to be poor for the job, you'll be reassigned.
With Salsa, Guacamole Extra
[rebelmouse-image 18358795 is_animated_gif=Taco Tuesdays are now mandatory.
Fight It Out
[rebelmouse-image 18358796 is_animated_gif=Every town center gets an MMA cage or wrestling ring. Two grown people wanna settle something with bare hands? Go on ahead.
Titles Are Everything
[rebelmouse-image 18358797 is_animated_gif=Look up some of the wacky titles that dictators have given themselves. That's the first thing I'd do.
Idi Amin (president of Uganda 1971-1979) gave himself this title: His excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of all the beasts of the earth and fishes of the seas and conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular.
Timeless
[rebelmouse-image 18358800 is_animated_gif=I'd abolish time. You get caught with a timekeeping device, it's hard labor indefinitely, because we no longer recognize the concept of years.
Get caught with a watch? Jail.
Flava Flav? He's toast.
If my secret police find so much as one gnomon or pendulum, you better believe you and your whole family are getting shipped off to the Pit of Misery.
In the Red
[rebelmouse-image 18358801 is_animated_gif=I'd have a massive fleet of stupidly expensive cars and the highways get a 'red lane'.
You are not, under any circumstance, allowed to drive on the 'red lane', EVER! The red lane is for me and people who I grant acces to it. There will be no speed limit in that lane, so I can go anywhere I please as fast as I please on the highway.
Fines for using the red lane without my permission can be very very expensive and I'll be the judge in court for when you used it.
Lord of the Flies
[rebelmouse-image 18358802 is_animated_gif=I would give every teacher the ability to pick one student each year to send to "The Island". The Island is isolated and inescapable. It may or may not be filled with dangerous creatures. There is plenty to eat and drink, but now the kiddos will only be able to annoy each other. Obviously the threat of being sent to The Island will motivate students and their parents and make public schools a better place to work. How about that for Teacher Appreciation Day?
Sorry Ted
[rebelmouse-image 18358803 is_animated_gif=Probably for every good action (like education or health care reform) one ridiculous action (anyone named Ted can no longer buy or consume ice cream) and enforce it with an iron fist. Need to keep people on their toes.
The Names the Thing
[rebelmouse-image 18358804 is_animated_gif=Give my country a ridiculously over the top positive sounding name like all the crappy dictatorships do.
"The Lawful Democratic People's Prosperous Republic of Letsgetblitzedopia"
It's the political equivalent of strolling and whistling to look like you're chill and not doing anything wrong.
Detailed Plans
[rebelmouse-image 18358805 is_animated_gif=- Rename all the days of the week and the names of the months after myself and my family.
- Make it illegal to wear yellow clothes on the first Meday of each month (except for Metober).
- Move the country to a timezone with a +27 minute offset from nearest neighbor and move the day when Daylight savings comes into effect around from year to year (just to screw with the people who maintain the time zone database).
- Switch which side of the street people are driving on based on astrological advice (without changing stuff like which side the doors of buses open etc).
- Spelling Reform (everything gets spelled the way I misspell it.)
- Rename major cities and geographical features after me.
- Have worship of me integrate into or replace the local religions.
- Crush dissidents under my iron heel (and my tanks)
- Surround myself with a cadre of beautiful amazon bodyguards.
- Hold elections where 110% of the votes go to me.
- Implement national health care and invest into educating many doctors and medical practitioners.
- invest into education to achieve close to 100% literacy.
- Make sure that a book written by me becomes everyone's new bible.
- Trick the CIA into assassinating people in neighboring countries that I don't like.
- Implement a great internet filter that automatically replaces certain words and phrases as well as pictures so that my subject who decided to search for porn online come away with the mistaken impression that everyone outside the country has really weird fetishes.
- Rewrite history books and maps so that Belgium does not exist.
- Introduce version of popular sports that have substantially different rules than everywhere else.
While dating can be a wonderful experience, it can also be unnecessarily complicated and not all it's cracked up to be.
For some, it's simply easier to remain single and independent, rather than to be left guessing by a potential partner.
Redditor chewysnacc asked:
"What is stopping you from getting a partner right now?"
Lack of Communication
"It kinda seems like everyone I meet and am interested in is already dating/in a situation with someone. I get plenty of connections on dating apps but they usually just stop replying."
- TwoChaptersIn
Missed Opportunities
"I’m too shy and don’t meet new people. My life is a cycle of waking up, university, sleep, and when I get opportunities, I don’t take them."
- Arcofly
Grief Takes a Toll
"I just lost my wife after years of illness and have no desire for another relationship."
- gtnair
"It's been four years now since her death after a three and a half year fight that she put up. We spent 12 years together and I still just can't bring myself to really go out there again when all I want is her back."
- Anunnaki2522
Feeling Unworthy
"Being a 62-year-old dishwasher with no money."
- thomas4004
"I met my current partner while I was a dishwasher. There are people out there for everyone. Don't focus on what you don't have."
- JustwantedAUsername
In Need of a Solo Journey
"I'm just not ready for one. The biggest reason is laziness, probably."
"The idea of being in a relationship is way more appealing than the actual responsibilities involved in my current stage. Relationships take work, and I'm not gonna just half-a** it like an a**hole when I can't guarantee that I'd fully commit."
"I'd just be wasting somebody's time and that's not fair to them. Plus, there are plenty of things that I'm already not putting enough time into that are way more pressing.""
- PEEWUN
"Yeah. I hear this."
"It’s not necessarily that I’m too lazy to get into a relationship and be with someone. Instead, after six months, I start becoming 'lazy' and want to do my own things by myself waaaaay more frequently, and it’s pushed every girl I’ve been with away."
"I’m probably destined to remain single. However, I’ve become entirely content with that. Sometimes I do miss having a partner and the advantages of having a partner, but those reasons are purely selfish on my own part."
"Partly blame being an only child with parents that both worked 60+ hours a week. I’m far from upset by it though. Instead, I cherish the fact that I can be nearly 100% content being alone."
- Blacksheepoftheworld
Self-Improvement Era
"Just got out of a toxic relationship where we both played our part in being toxic. I‘m currently working on myself so it doesn’t happen in my next relationship again."
- Crounty
"I'm working on myself. I'm in no position to date anybody and have nothing substantial to give another person right now. I need everything I have to fix me."
- scienceforbid
Procrastination: The Dating Edition
"Pragmatically speaking? Nothing really, maybe some internalized form of procrastination?"
"I keep myself decently well-maintained mentally, emotionally, and physically. Career-wise/professionally, I've built myself up as a pretty well-rounded person and although I've still got a ways to go, I'm decently stable with my currently established work-life balance."
"And I'm also a decently well-socialized person who interacts well with the public, can hold a conversation, and is decent at paying attention to social cues and body language."
"If I actually tried to get into the dating game, I'm decently confident that I could do okay for myself and my partner; but I guess I just haven't had a reason to actually take that initiative step..."
- mythrilcrafter
The Introvert Has Entered the Chat
"My pathetic social battery and conversational skills."
- Capt-N3M0
Updated Priorities
"I'm divorced with a three-year-old boy in my mid-30s."
"It’s a minefield out here, and my threshold for nonsense is way lower than my threshold for loneliness."
- ChickensPickins
Ableist Thinking
"My wheelchair. I’m completely self-sufficient and independent. I’m a moderately attractive 29-year-old male, I’m in good shape and have a very active and athletic background."
"Girls simply won’t look past it and treat me like a human. I don’t identify as a wheelchair or as disabled, I identify as human, treat me like one."
- DocShaayy
Wrong Place, Wrong Time
"I don't go to places where it is socially acceptable to approach women often. I hate loud a** clubs, don't go to many concerts, and really don't go to bars much. I don't really have a friend group, either. Even when I do go, I don't even know how to do it. I can talk to them, but that never goes anywhere."
- HooterEnthusiast
Prioritizing Trust
"Just some trust issues and with no one around me who is genuinely interested in getting a long-lasting relationship."
- lilac_skyy
Dating in Real-Time
"Maybe it's just not the right time for me."
- common_Database_1322
"Sitcoms and tv/social make everything appear like it happens fast."
"Time in real life is an important factor."
"'Right Now' only works for people who have the privilege to choose and we all know if you have the privilege to choose, you have the power to wait."
"Life is crazy."
- typesett
Social Cues
"I am a high functioning Autistic and have issues interacting with strangers. My looks are good enough to get dates with women I find attractive, but they are generally put off by my lack of eye contact and I'm unable to tell if they like me or not."
"I've actually botched quite a few dates where I thought they weren't into me, but I thought we'd make good friends so I stated so. They stopped talking to me after that."
- MrStealYoBichonFrise
A New Season in Life
"Just got out of a marriage with someone I’ve spent 12 years with. I’m starting to enjoy my new freedom. I get to do what I want when I want. I don’t have to worry about explaining any purchases. I’ve been able to give up weed since I’m not around her."
"Even though it was a traumatic experience initially, I’m starting to thrive and my friends and family have noticed a difference in my attitude and anxiety. Even though she was a big part of my life and I still feel love for her, it’s becoming clear that our time together has come to an end. We were what we needed for that season in life."
"Plus I got an awesome kid out of it."
- No_Key_6276
This conversation was a great reminder of how similar we all are, in the sense of experiencing insecurities and living through parts of our lives when it's more important to work on ourselves than to develop a new relationship.
But there was hope in these responses, as well. Most of these reasons are temporary, but even if they are long-lasting, there are others who have managed to date under those same conditions.
Whether it's a favorite food or a favorite brand, we all have brands and styles that we prefer above others.
And while it may not be the worst thing to ever happen to us, it can be a real bummer when a favorite item is discontinued.
Redditor Seraphicly329 asked:
"What was discontinued, but you miss like h**l and you wish would come back?"
False Advertisements
"I miss the days when TV stations were about what they claimed to be about..."
"MTV, History Channel, Discovery Channel, Science Channel, TLC (The Learning Channel), AMC (American Movie Classics), ABC Family Channel, A&E..."
- varthalon
"Video killed the radio star."
"Nope, bottom lines killed the video star."
- doublestop
One-Dollar Menus
"The $1 menu at every fast food joint."
- king_nut69420
"S**t, I remember when hamburgers at Mcdonald's were 39 cents (I think it was Tuesdays) and Cheeseburgers were 49 cents."
"We were treated on those days and felt like we ate like kings. It wasn't until later I realized 'those treat days' were specific because my parents were broke."
- Gr8NonSequitur
Those Were Something Else
"Pizza Hut lunch buffets."
- 23andm3
"I must be old because I used to get together with my friends at Pizza Hut. A waitress would take your order, bring your drinks, then bring your food, and then you could play a Ms. PacMan game built into a table."
"That was the only pizza place we never started a food fight in because we didn't want to get banned for life again like we did at the other ones."
- Hagsnot
The Original Levi's Jeans
"Not discontinued, but Levi’s definitely changed how they made their jeans. They just don’t fit the same, and the materials feel very different."
- Kozak515
"Cone Mills White Oak mill, where they sourced their denim for the 501s for over 100 years, shut down in 2019."
"Levis will never be the same. White Oak denim was the gold standard for a long time."
"Before that, they were sourcing denim offshore for other models and had moved to manufacture offshore many years before."
- gnomz
"You can still get the good stuff; but, you're going to pay..."
- Friendship_Fries
The Best Arcades
"Aladdin's Castle. It was an arcade in the local mall. I was heartbroken when they closed that place down. So many good memories as a kid in that place."
- cromaden
The Soup and Salad
"We used to have a chain of restaurants called Souper Salad. It was just a salad bar with three options of soup, but it was cheap and all you could eat. I took it for granted back then, and now I miss it so much."
- Gin_N_Soda
'90s Kids Know
"90's Nickelodeon. 'Legends of the Hidden Temple,' 'Are You Afraid of the Dark,' 'Double Dare,' 'Pete & Pete.' Etc."
- Andibular
"I grew up on SNICK. I can hear the 'Are You Afraid Of The Dark' theme song in my head now."
"I had my first life-changing experience as a little kid at Nickelodeon Studios. We managed to get into the studio audience for a taping of 'Roundhouse,' and Melissa Joan Hart was two rows in front of me in-between tapings of 'Clarissa Explains It All.' I spent the entire three hours, just looking more at the back of her head instead of the actual taping of the show."
"My f**ked up nine-year-old self awkwardly walked up to her after the show since I was resolved to tell her I had a crush on her. Not sure what I was expecting to happen. I got as far as walking up to her, staring awkwardly, and then turning around and going back to my mom."
"Nope, still can’t laugh about it."
- Donkey__Balls
All the Closet Staples
"All my favorite tops that ever wore out. The fashion train just moves on regardless, you can never go back and just purchase the same awesome undyed linen blouse with the frog closures and Chinese collar. You have to start all over again no matter how much you hate shopping because walking around naked isn't an option."
- willingisnotenough
Favorite Snacks
"Jello Brand pudding pops. There is nothing else like it in the market, and anything that I have found doesn't taste the same. I just want my pudding pops back, dangit."
- RarScaryFrosty
Those Five-Dollar Menu Items
"Five-dollar, Five-dollar footlongs."
- Redictate
"Also the time of Arby's and Taco Bell's '5 for 5."
- JustaRandomOldGuy
The Best Hi-C
"Ecto Cooler. When it came back temporarily a few years ago, I got some but figured it would be crappy like most nostalgia-bait food and drink. It was glorious. So d**n tasty."
- KingLaerus
"It's unironically the best Hi-C and I am blown away that it wasn't brought back again for Afterlife's release."
- SteveRudzinski
We All Remember
"The Blue Raspberry Sour Skittle. They act like it never existed, but I know better."
- Chaosfreeze990
Media Libraries
"Physical items for music, video games, movies, etc. (this isn't actually discontinued yet but with the current trend it wouldn't surprise me if everything just moves completely to streaming in ~10 years)"
"Too many things are moving to digital where you don't actually own anything. All you have is a license to use the digital media. The last time I bought a physical game disc, the only thing it did was install Origin on my computer and provide a license key to download the game. My current car has built-in Spotify instead of a CD player."
"Maybe I'm becoming an old man ranting about change, but I'm concerned about how everything's become a monthly subscription service where the companies control what you have access to and can remove things whenever they want."
- Phantom_Ganon
Oh, Those Snack Wraps
"McDonald’s snack wraps."
- spookyvampireparty
"And accompanying this, the Chicken Selects and the specialty sauces made 'just' for them, especially the Chipotle BBQ sauce. It was seriously some of the best BBQ sauce I've ever had. Smoky and quite spicy for something from McDonald's. It lasted, like, 10 years, then just poof, they decided to get rid of all of it. B**tards."
- Falco98
So Practical
"iPod or any audio player that’s small, portable, and works offline."
- rando552
From snacks to TV shows to favorite places to visit, these responses brought back some wonderful memories, especially for those who grew up in the '80s and '90s.
Like anything else, it's so easy to take advantage of something while we have it, only to miss it terribly when it's gone.
Confidence is an admirable trait.
A person who is determined, knows exactly what they want, and goes for it despite unpopular opinion usually succeeds in achieving their goals.
But when it comes to friendships or romantic relationships, guys who exude too much self-assuredness and see themselves as superior can be a total turn-off.
Especially when they refer themselves as an alpha.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor XqueezeMePlease asked:
"What are your immediate thoughts when you hear a guy refer to himself as an 'Alpha Male'?"
People shared their interpretations to hearing a guy declaring himself an alpha.
Self-Granted Permission
"Translation: 'I am going to be an unapologetic a**hole.'”
–darkwulf1
Moving Forward
“I can’t take anything from him seriously from now on.”
– YourLocalOrangePeel
"It's a real life cheat code to make your reputation go to 0%."
– AstronomerNo556
Being A Male
"try to explain to them how much of a bitch they really are for having to boost their self importance by telling others how great they are....instead of actually BEING great."
"i will never forget my father telling me 'being a male, does not mean your a man.'"
– tokikain
What is he really saying about himself?
Hiding Insecurity
"That he’s deeply insecure."
– ButternutSnuggleButt
"Narrator: he wasn’t an alpha male."
– Yellowmellowbelly
The Thing About Actual Male Confidence
"The entire sub-culture around 'Alpha Males' is centered around men being insecure. And I say this from personal experience. In middle school, high school, and even early college I was a very insecure guy and I’d watch videos constantly on 'how to be an alpha' and it would only spiral into me hating myself more for not amounting to the standards of an 'alpha'.
"Confident, secure men wear what they want, do what they want, and are comfortable being themselves regardless of what society or its standards say. I mean take Harry Styles for example, that man can wear a dress, put on makeup, and be himself confidently AND he still is more of a man than any self-proclaimed 'alpha.'"
"Manliness and masculinity isn’t about looking like a lumberjack, drinking whiskey, and working out 24/7 (though it’s okay if you do any of these things because that’s what you genuinely enjoy), its about being confident in who you are as a man whatever that means for you. People fail to realize, if you are a man and you do something, anything, that in and of itself is inherently manly regardless of what society says."
"I’m so happy that I was able to come to these realizations and deal with the real underlying issues I had of low self-esteem but it’s so sad to see so many young men fall prey to “alpha” bs and base their entire existence on the concept of trying to be 'alpha' all because instead of talking through their feelings and mental health they let their insecurities dictate their life."
– ccalicich32
Measure Of A Man
"Small dick energy."
– NeoWarriors
You want to stay away from these types of men.
Self-Aggrandizement
"Translation: I’m extremely insecure and need to feel superior and also think woman are property."
– TwistedFate21
Potential For Abuse
"My girlfriend has bruises she lies about"
– AsperaAstra
Code
"'Alpha Male' is just code for I think I can beat up most people around me so I want to be treated as special and not be forced to obey social niceties and laws."
– anon
Public Threat
"Like an alpha of a program or videogame, highly unstable and should not be available to the public."
– Whismurr_
Let's face it. No one using the phrase "alpha male" to describe themselves is going to be likable.
Unless you are desiring to be dominated by a superior alpha under erotic pretenses, you're better off keeping your inner circle exclusively without complete morons.
People Break Down The Dumbest Thing Someone's Ever Accused Them Of Without Any Evidence
When on trial for a crime, no matter how great or small, you are still innocent until proven guilty.
Sadly, when it comes to your friends, family, or bosses you may not be presumed innocent and might find yourself scolded for a missing piece of clothing or technology, forgetting to close a window, or any number of menial, inconsequential things.
In spite of the fact that you, in fact, didn't do it and there is absolutely no evidence to suggest that you did.
Nonetheless, whether their judgement is clouded by frustration, or they were simply looking for a reason to scold and yell at you, you still might find yourself at their wrath.
Even if you can't help but giggle at what you're being accused of.
"What’s the dumbest thing someone accused you of without any evidence?"
You Expect Me To Use This?!?!
"My mother-in-law accused me of buying a sh*tty brand of hair spray, leaving it in our guest bathroom for her to use, and trying to trick her into thinking it was hers."
"She actually brought it to our house the previous time she visited and left it behind. It was totally hers."- thecooley
He Must Have Run Quite The Distance...
"Throwing stones at her goats."
"I would not throw stones at goats, but she went to my mother’s house and accused me."
"She said she had just chased me off after I did it."
"My mother told her that, if that is what she saw, then she would punish me the moment that I got home, if she would like to wait."
"My mother supplied her with tea and biscuits and, later, a light snack."
"Offered her a stronger drink, too."
"After a long time, the goat lady asked if my mother had any idea what time I would be home."
“'Well, he has only been gone a week, so another two weeks, I imagine'.”
"My mother replied, as I went to a boarding school and stayed away for three weeks at a time."- Pedantichrist
Goat Bleating GIFGiphyMaybe She Planted A Bug?
"A college roommate reported me to the campus police for selling drugs."
"She stated that she was in our dorm room and overheard me selling drugs to another student in the laundry room."
"Our dorm room was on the 12th floor, laundry room was in the basement of the building."
"She got pissed when campus police laughed at her statement."- MissConduct0120
How Dare You Not Break The Law To Help Me!
"I once had a co-worker write to my manager to complain I was racist because I wouldn’t pirate a copy of Norton Utilities and give it to her."- Yorkie_Mom_2
Wrong Ex, maybe?
"One time I started getting a bunch of texts from an ex accusing me of being on a trip with some other girl and throwing all kinds of insults my way."
"Not only was she my ex and I was not talking to her or planning to reconcile, so that if I was in fact on a trip with some other girl it was none of her business, but I was actually literally sitting on my couch with my dog watching TV."
"I told her I hadn't the slightest idea of what she was yelling about and sent her a picture of me and my dog in my living room."
"She replied, "F*ck," and I didn't hear from her for weeks until the crazy ultimately outweighed any embarrassment she felt."
"To this day I have no idea why she thought I was on a trip in the first place, especially since her texts were pretty specific and she mentioned where she claimed I was and other details."- Tough_Stretch
Work From Home Dog GIFGiphyCould Have Been Worse?
"I was accused of throwing a potato at a shed, totally not true."- bobbejaan79
They Were At Least Half Right...
"Insubordination for failing to report in to work for over a month."
"I resigned a month earlier."- Fifth_Wall0666·
Wrong Place At The Wrong Time
"I was in either first grade or kindergarten, and the chain link fence on the side of our playground had fallen over / caved in."
"Me and my friends looked at it and wondered how it happened."
"Then a teacher came by and yelled at us for breaking the fence and we all got put in time-out for the rest of recess."
"WE WERE 6, HOW WOULD WE MANGLE A CHAIN LINK FENCE WITH OUR HANDS?!"- Rabid_Chocobo
buster keaton fence GIF by MauditGiphySome Might Consider This A Compliment...
"In High School, half the school thought I was Gay, and the other half thought I was a vegetarian."
"I'm neither, and I have no idea how the two related."- Group_of_no_one
When All You Were Doing Was Trying To Help...
"One day when I was in 5th grade a female collie followed me home from school."
"I walked around the neighborhood trying to find the owner, but nobody knew whose dog she was."
"I left my neighborhood and crossed a four lane."
"I carried her so she wouldn't get hit by a car (I didn't own a dog leash)."
"After knocking doors and asking around, I had to go home but she just kept following me."
"I picked her back up and carried her back across the four lane, put her down and we walked another block."
"Then the owner pulled up, stopped in the middle of the intersection, got out of his car, and called her."
"She ran to him, and hopped up in the car."
"I told him I'd been trying to find her owners for hours."
"The old bastard said, 'Yeah, someone saw you carrying her'," implying that I stole her."
"Then he plopped his fat a** back in his Cadillac and sped away."
"No good deed..."- TheC0zmo
border collie dog GIF by Rover.comGiphyPunished For Being Poor
"Being a thief because I was a student."
"Money was going missing from the tills in the bar I worked at on some evening and weekends."
"Walked into work and got called out back with the manager."
"Was told money was missing and was suspended there and then."
"I asked when this money went missing and it wasn’t even when I was working!"
"I asked why I was the prime suspect and the managers wife pointed the finger at me because I was a student and therefore must have needed the money."
"About a week later the actual thief was caught red handed putting money from the till into his pocket by the manager."
"This was back the mid 90s so no cameras to view, which would have cleared it up straight away."
"Instead, they cast blame with evidence that actually proved it couldn’t have been me because the times the money went missing, I wasn’t even there, but hey ho."- idiBanashapan
Clearly, these hasty accusers must never have heard the saying "let he who is without sin cast the first stone".
Sadly, it's sometimes easier for people to just place blame as fast as they can.
Even if evidence and logic are not on their side.