
Little White Lies
[rebelmouse-image 18358761 is_animated_gif=We say honesty is the best policy, but are we practicing what we preach? When it comes to dealing with children, quite often we aren't. Whether it's Santa Clause or the Tooth Fairy or fibs to get them to eat, adults actually lie to children quite a bit.
Reddit user ballabate4 asked "What's the most elaborate lie you've ever told your children?"
Here are the answers from the liars and some of the children who were lied to.
The Sweet Spot
[rebelmouse-image 18358762 is_animated_gif=My dad used to tell us that the brown spots on bananas were "sugar" - my brother and I would peel our bananas and literally brag to each other about how much sugar ours had.
"Mine has 3 sugar spots!" ... "So? Mine has 4!"
Now that I'm a parent, I think my dad was a - and I can hardly wait to start using this on my daughter.
You're So Vain
[rebelmouse-image 18358763 is_animated_gif=My mother lied to me about her age until I was 14. She told me she was 10 years younger then she actually was. When I was 6, she said she was 22.
The mental gymnastics I played to figure out timelines of where I was when my mother was away at college and other events was mind-boggling.
Eggcellent
[rebelmouse-image 18358764 is_animated_gif="Eggplants grow from eggs"
They didn't believe me at first because I mess with them way too much.
So I "planted" an egg and a week later replaced it with an eggplant.
1,000 Words
[rebelmouse-image 18345410 is_animated_gif=I told my youngest cousin that he had a limited number of words a day and after 1000 words he would not be able to talk. Got my siblings and all the other cousins to play along since we were on a family vacation. He believed us for a solid week. We would all pretend like we were counting our words to make sure that we didn't hit our quota because then we wouldn't be able to talk for the rest of the day.
He went from the loudest most talkative little kid to silent because he couldn't remember how many words he had said and didn't want to reach his quota.
Bovine Bedtime
[rebelmouse-image 18358765 is_animated_gif=My son would always wake up with a cow lick in his hair from sleeping. I turned this into an elaborate story about a cow that would sneek into our house every night to try and lick his hair because the cow thought it was a carrot (hes a red head).
Managed to convince him to sleep with a carrot for a few nights because I said the cow would eat that instead of his hair. Then each night either me or his dad would take a bite out of the carrot to prove the night cow had been by.
Multi-Functional
[rebelmouse-image 18358766 is_animated_gif=My parents told me the ice cream truck was a music truck and it worked until one day I found out and ran inside and told them
"DID YOU KNOW THE MUSIC TRUCK SELLS ICE CREAM?!?"
Dad Joke, Wait 10 years for the Punchline
[rebelmouse-image 18358767 is_animated_gif=When I was but a young child, my father told me about the Gride. At home we used the Gride for one thing, to pick up dust piles off the ground, usually with a broom to help. I grew up and always assumed that tool was called a Gride and never learned different.
It wasn't until my sophomore year in high school that I learned the truth.
I had gotten into an argument with my girlfriends mother about what a dust pan was when I was helping her clean up. I went home later and asked my dad what the deal is with this thing. He told me it always made sense to call a dust pan a gride. Because you have a groom and a bride, therefore the broom must be accompanied by the gride.
Still call a dust pan a gride to this day, just makes more sense.
Leavened Lies
[rebelmouse-image 18358768 is_animated_gif=My nephew wouldn't eat whole wheat bread so his father buys him white bread instead. We buy whole wheat, but in a different wrapper than his parents.
Once he asked me what it was and I told him "it's chocolate bread".
He was convinced, and now he loves it.
Our Neighbor to the North
[rebelmouse-image 18354441 is_animated_gif=I had my nephew convinced that Canada wasn't real for like a week.
He's 11.
Wrigley's Baked Ham
[rebelmouse-image 18358769 is_animated_gif=My mom used to call cut up ham "bubble gum" so I would eat it because I was such a picky eater.
I would try to blow bubbles and she told me she could see them.
Interplanetary Explorer
[rebelmouse-image 18358770 is_animated_gif=Back when my youngest son was in elementary school, they were studying astronauts and the space program. One day my son comes home all excited about the astronauts that had visited the moon. This was a time when I was still a hero in my son's eyes and I wasn't about to give that up so, I nonchalantly said, "That's nice son but, I've been to Pluto".
The next day he showed me a drawing he made about his dad going to Pluto and told me he was taking it to show his teacher. I had to quickly explain it was such a great drawing that I wanted to keep it. We put it on my closet door where it hung for years.
He turns 27 this year and I still have the drawing which we joke about quite often.
The Color Purple
[rebelmouse-image 18358771 is_animated_gif=Without missing a beat, after breaking open a nest, my wife told our 3 or 4 year-old daughter who was wearing purple that "bees won't bother you if you're wearing purple. They hate purple."
They calmly walked away, our little one in her favorite color, without a sting.
Finally told her the truth at 12.
Fowl Play
[rebelmouse-image 18358772 is_animated_gif=Had family over for Thanksgiving. One of the little ones refused to eat turkey.
"I hate turkey".
Ok you don't have to have it. We have some chicken, you want that?
"Yeah, I love chicken."
He gobbled that turkey down and was just so proud of himself for getting what he wanted.
Fairy Funds
[rebelmouse-image 18358773 is_animated_gif=My daughter dropped something heavy on her toe and killed the nail. I told her that when it came off that the toenail fairy would bring her money if she saved it and put it under her pillow. My wife was not amused, but the toenail fairy pays a lot.
Later she told her kindergarten teacher that the toenail fairy came and gave her 20 bucks. Heard about that one in a parent teacher conference...
Red or Green Though?
[rebelmouse-image 18351080 is_animated_gif=My parents used to tell my brother all the time that "if you do [insert chore/behavior of choice] now, then I swear when you turn 18, if you still want to go to Power Ranger school then I will send you!"
He literally did everything they wanted like a grade A suckerooni.
Easter Switcheroo
[rebelmouse-image 18358774 is_animated_gif=When my daughter was 2 or 3, it was easter and my in laws had cooked a ham.
My daughter wanted nothing to do with the small pieces of ham we had cut up.
Around the table were some of those chocolate eggs in the foil wrappers. She knew what those were, but wasn't allowed to have them. Someone grabbed an empty wrapper and wrapped up a piece of her ham when she wasn't looking. Then said "here, have this"
my daughter unwrapped it and happily ate the piece, we then handed her another wrapped piece of ham. To her, this was a treat and she didn't clue in until the 5th or 6th piece.. I can just imagine her brain "heeeeeeeeeey wait a minute, THIS ISN'T CHOCOLATE!!!"
Illegal Lighting
[rebelmouse-image 18348751 is_animated_gif=I always thought turning on lights in cars was illegal. I didn't figure out it wasn't until a post on Instagram making fun of how we were all told that. I'm 23.
Solid-Liquid-Gas
[rebelmouse-image 18358776 is_animated_gif=My sister would call water "ice juice" to get her kids to drink it. They hated water but loved ice juice!
Ear to the Ground
[rebelmouse-image 18358777 is_animated_gif=We told our daughter when she was 3-6 that her ears wiggle when she was lying. She walked around covering her ears up all the time.
Picture a 4 yr old earnestly telling you something with their ears covered and elbows straight out. Yes, I washed my hands. Nope, that's not my popcorn on the couch.
Optical Illusion
[rebelmouse-image 18358778 is_animated_gif=I work at a bank, and we've got a big jar of lollipops in the back table behind the teller line. It's very clearly visible. So when parents come in with their kids, the kids will always ask for one. Here's my favorite exchange that I've seen:
"Mommy, can I have a lollipop?"
"No honey, they don't have them."
"But they're right there."
"No honey, they're not real."
Some people like sweets, some people like alcohol, some people are willing to spend extra money a month just to have full access to all 14 seasons of their favorite obscure Canadian detective show.
You don't judge us, we won't judge you.
Reddit was asked:
"What is a guilty pleasure for you ?"
...and ... like ... we honestly feel kind of bonded in non-shame over this stuff.
Because it's all just SO GOOOOOOOOD!
It's Britney ...
"Playing Britney Spears’ music on 11 when I’m in the car all by myself. Especially 'Work Bitch' when I’m on the way to work an extra shift."
-nancydrew1224
"Toxic is an undeniably fantastic song."
-TheBrontosaurus
"It's such a weird mix of elements. Obviously you have Britney's pop singing, but it also mixes harsh strings with synth electro and a lot of rock elements. It blurs several genres together, and accordingly fits well next to other genres of music."
-Nambot
Those Golden Arches
"McDonald’s"
"I regret my choice right after finishing my meal. But not enough to prevent me from going back the next week lol"
-Candidmirror12
"Why did you say the word? I've been clean for three months straight!"
-realfoodman
"Yep."
"I get a craving 2-3 times a year. Same damned order every time. Large #1 value meal with a coke and a cheeseburger."
"I love their little chopped onions"
"Did you know that the Coke syrup formula for McDonald’s is different than what you get at home or other restaurants? It’s actually sweeter per McDonald’s request and specifications"
-mlgbt1985
Can't Run
"The Tremors anthology. Bad B-rated horror but god DAMN do I love me some graboids."
-BolognaIsNotAHat
"The first movie is legitimately excellent. The rest are stupid syfy level movies that are still a ton of fun."
-Taynt42
"The second one is also not terrible. Felt like a well measured escalation. The 3rd one on, though... SMH."
-Hotarg
"You ever have something be so bad that it loops itself back around into being awesome? That's this."
- [Reddit]
Perfect Mood Lifter
"Watching kid shows or disney movies even though I'm an adult."
-BanGinGDreams
"Phineas and Ferb."
"I honestly love to cruise the country side with my biker group, smoke half a pack, get home crack a beer and see what Phineas and Ferb did today."
"I'm a 28 year old man."
-Tiger_In_Maine
"Cartoons are good for the soul. Visually pleasing to watch. Good stories. Usually have some safe humor. Always end on a feel good tone. The perfect mood lifter when you're feeling down."
-GingerJayPear
Go Go Power Rangers
"Power rangers lore."
"I'm 28, can't get myself to sit through the kids shows anymore. But man did I love the series growing up and like keeping up with the new stories and seeing how it's going."
"My significant other would pretty much leave me if she found out how much I'm still addicted to keeping up with a show that I should have dropped 20 years ago."
-PN-DUBS
"Full stop, check out the comics. They were made for people that watched it as children and are adults now and they are honestly nothing short of incredible between the art and storylines. They do some really rad stuff."
-ForSafeKeeping220
Digging
"Picking my nose. I know it’s a bad habit but it’s nostalgic"
-VictoryIsMudkipz
"Kinda same it's not just gross but I also feel like it makes my nostrils bigger so I feel even more guilty 😭"
-getawaycar7H13
"There are two kinds of people in the world. People who pick their nose and liars"
-energy_falcon
Terribly Delicious
"Bad coffee."
"Like you go to a chrome-plated diner by the interstate and the coffee is made of cheap, stale grounds that has been on the hot plate or 3 hours. Something about it is super nostalgic."
-MutantOverlord
"Hell yes. I'll get like 5 refills on that tiny ass cup, tyvm"
-stoncils_
"Just terrible enough to want another cup."
-caseyd1020
Later
"Procrastinating….I hate myself for it"
-Usual-Difference9135
"I was going to comment the same but figured it could wait."
-C0rnD0g1
"I usually have two or three things on the go at once. So when I feel like procrastinating, I switch to one of the other things. My job has become literally me always procrastinating."
-StGir1
T.Swift
"I, on some occasions, belt out Taylor Swift’s 'Our Song' when I’m alone"
-nenolpunk
"I do it too but with 'The Story of Us' "
-SoonlyXo
"Taylor Swift's old songs are the best songs"
-AwesomeSpindleberry
"It’s this or 'Teardrops on My Guitar' because wow. Hit me in my teen feels."
"Who is Drew? I don't know, but I’ll sing about them regardless"
-nenolpunk
Hipster ASMR
"Before I discovered ASMR, I used to secretly watch videos of makeup tutorials because they made me feel relaxed. I'm a guy who's never worn make up in my life."
-SXOSXO
"I'm a man in my 30s. I love the cosplay tutorials from Alyson Tabbitha."
-amadeus2490
"Literally same!!! I watch NikkieTutorials or Naomi Jon! Like I personally don’t wear make up but I love the art behind it"
-patzzxd
So tell us, what's your pleasure? And do you HONESTLY feel guilty about it?
Go ahead and talk about it in the comments, I've got a certain Canadian Detective to check up on.
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Love or money?
An age old question.
Ideally, you wouldn't have to decide between the two.
In a perfect world, you would be able to find the true love of your life and be incredibly wealthy all at once.
But, as the saying goes, you can't have everything.
Though if faced with having to choose between the two, people might have a different idea of what the obvious answer would be.
Redditor lulinghayaw was curious how people would decide when faced with this decision, leading them to ask:
"Genuine, true love or 5 million dollars? Why?"
My love is worth more than that.
"True love because my true love is 5 trillion dollars."- ImOnARush.
Freedom to do what you love.
"I'm gonna be really honest, I'd choose 5 million dollars."
"Having that much money means financial stability."
"It means not having to work for money - that wouldn't mean not working ever again, but doing a job you really love even if it doesn't pay well."
"I would be able to study without worrying about burdening my parents."
"I could achieve my dream of getting multiple degrees."
"Money isn't just money, it's opportunities."
"Without having to worry about money, I could focus on improving myself in every way - getting healthier, studying more, having a stable routine, reading a lot, overall becoming the best version of myself."
"I'll have plenty of time to find true love, improve relationships with friends and family and everything else."- lux_blue.
Money over love any day- no matter the amount.
"5 dollars."- SpaZzzmanian_Devil.
"SHOW ME THE MONEY."- _starvingartist.
How much is true love worth.
"Money."
"Love can't pay my bills."- LiteLit.
Money can't buy happiness.
"True love."
"Moneys cool and all, but I'd much rather be in a loving relationship."- WhiskersCleveland.
But money can buy a lot of other things...
"5 mil, I’ll wipe my tears with hundreds."- Weary_Gate7941.
True love...with a rich partner.
"Genuine true love."
"It didn't say my partner and I would be poor."- moonIightbaby.
"The greatest thing, you'll ever learn..."
"True love."
"I have been alone all my life."
"I’ve always had toxic friends because i told myself i deserved it, i told myself 'at least they want to be friends with me'."
"I have a narcissistic mother and a dad that isn’t emotionally there because of his own trauma."
"I have a sister that flat out ignores me when I talk and my other siblings are too young for me to have the kind of bond that i need right now."
"I have an amazing best friend but it’s different than having someone that loves me and i love back."
"If you had asked me a month ago i would’ve said 5 million."
"I would’ve been lying."
"If you had asked a year ago I would’ve said 5 million and I would’ve been telling the truth. true love is priceless."
"I’ll be winning 4 million on the lottery tho."- 76543210987654321.
Some might say being truly, madly in love feels like having five million dollars.
While others might feel that having five million dollars feels even better than being in love.
Others might simply strive for a little bit of each.
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It's highly believed that it is important to learn history as a means to improve our future.
What is often overlooked is that what is taught in history class is going to be very different depending on where you went to school.
And this isn't just internationally, even different regions of the United states will likely have very different lessons on American history.
This frequently results in our learning fascinating, heartbreaking and horrifying historical facts which our middle or high school history teachers neglected to teach us.
Redditor Acherontia_atropos91 was curious to learn things people either wished they had learned, or believe they should have learned, in their school history class, leading them to ask:
What isn’t taught in history class but should be?
The Irish Troubles
"The troubles."
"Too many people in America do not understand why a wall straight through Ireland would be a BAD idea."
"I’m referring to the Brexit referendum and possible outcomes."
"If people were wondering why we were talking about walls through Ireland in the first place."- CLCVS.
Forgotten elements of World War II
"What the Japanese did to the Chinese during WW2."
"Unit 731."- CaptainMcBoogerJew.
"Japan gets off easy for their war crimes in WW2."
"They killed an estimated 16mil Chinese civilians and another 8mil soldiers"
"Also, Pol Pot."
"Didn't know who he was until I was like 25."
"Worst dictator all time (in terms of percentage of population he decimated)".
The truth about the American Revolution
"That the American Revolution was part of a wider cold war type of conflict with France."
"The American Revolution was basically the UK's equivalent of the US version of Vietnam."- vinsant7.
The Dark side of Swedish history.
"As a Swede, I'd like to know more of all the horrible sh*t my country has done throughout history."
"It's a damn shame we're trying to hide our history."
"For example, Swedes killed a metric sh*t ton of all Polish people when we were at our strongest."
"That's the kinda sh*t we don't get to learn."- mogwandayy.
Colonization
"Basically what Belgium did to the Congo."
"A lot of people are telling me that they are taught about this actually."
"I'm glad to hear it because I wasn't taught about this in the USA during my public school days (1995-2008)."- EconArch.
The truth about "heroes".
"While teaching about historical Heroes they should also tell students about the unspeakable things some of them did."
"Many famous figures throughout history who are pillars of morality actually did many terrible things." - User Deleted
Intolerance for Mental Illness
"The dark history of mental illness treatments."
"I think it's worth learning about."- 7dayexcerpt.
Slavic Mythology
"Slavic mythology in Slavic countries."
"Don't get me wrong, I love both Greek & Roman mythology and as a person from the Balkans both of those cultures are part of my country's history and had great influence over not only my region but the entirety of the continent & the western world but I wouldn't mind knowing more about Slavic mythology as well."- ShorsShezzarine.
The truth about the CIA
"How the CIA was made and all the shady things they did over the years."- ALargeChip.
There is a lot about the history of our world, not to mention our own country which shouldn't be ignored.
And it's from learning from our mistakes that we really improve our future.
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So apparently we are in the endemic phase of this nonsense.
We have light at the end of the tunnel.
So what now?
Where do we go from here?
Normal seems like an outdated word.
How do we get back to normal though?
Is it even possible?
What are reaching back to?
Life pre-Covid.
Those were the days.
If only we could bring them back.
Redditor hetravelingsong wanted to discuss our new normal in this hopeful "endemic" phase. So they asked:
"What’s something random you miss about pre-COVID times?"
I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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