Police Officers Share The Dumbest Things People Have Said Around Them[rebelmouse-image 18358734 is_animated_gif=
We all break the law at least a little bit in life; a little speeding here, a little grand theft there. Most of the time we'd all get away with the tiny infractions if we'd use our brains first and just... SHUT UP!!! And not do the cops jobs for them. the tales some people weave (sober) are unreal.
Redditor _PinkIrrelephant reached out to the police to tell us their best tales of arrest. _
MAYBE HE WAS TALKING ABOUT THE SODA?!
My father was a cop for many years and one of his favorite arrest stories was when he pulled someone over for simple traffic violation, I think he didn't do a full stop for a stop sign. When my father asked "do you know why I pulled you over?" The gentleman responded "yea yea it's because of all the drugs in the trunk." After my father read him his rights and was putting him in the back of his car, my dad asked "just out of curiosity, how did you know I knew you had drugs in the back". The man ushered to the radar detector in the front and said "I saw the drug detector on the dash and I knew you had me". My father still laughs about this one 20 years later.
DID I DO THAT?[rebelmouse-image 18358735 is_animated_gif=
Not a police officer, but I got pulled over I thought it was because of the illegal u-turn I had done and as the usual goes "do you know why I pulled you over?" I sheepishly responded "because I did an illegal u-turn". He kinda just stared for a moment and switched on my headlights and said "your headlights are off and stop doing illegal u-turns".
OLD HABITS DIE HARD.[rebelmouse-image 18358737 is_animated_gif=
I'm the idiot in this situation. Being apologetic by nature; when I got pulled over for rolling through a stop sign I said "I'm so sorry officer, I do it all the time".
BLOW HERE.[rebelmouse-image 18358738 is_animated_gif=
Pulled a guy over on suspicion of drink driving. We didn't have an ESD (breathalyzer) but he was so drunk he was adamant that my radio was a breathalyzer.
Anyway whilst we were waiting he started to get really agitated as he thought we were up to something. He was begging to "have a go" on the breathalyzer (radio), eventually I let him blow into the radio antenna, told him it was faulty and we had to wait for another.
Unsurprisingly he failed and got arrested. Not quite what you asked for but it still makes me chuckle.
A+ FOR HONOR AMONG THIEVES.[rebelmouse-image 18358739 is_animated_gif=
Man was beaten unconscious by three men. I caught one of them escaping on foot but he vigorously denied any knowledge of any incident.
Another officer had collared someone he thought might also be involved, but had little evidence other than the fact he was running away and couldn't really account for his presence.
The other prisoner was being taken to a cell just as I walked into custody with mine. My prisoner looked at him and immediately yelled "Matt, Matt! Matt has got nothing to do with this, you should let him go. He wasn't even there."
A+ for friend loyalty; C- for avoiding self-incrimination.
PEOPLE NEED A LICENSE FOR HAVING KIDS.[rebelmouse-image 18979724 is_animated_gif=
Once pulled a woman over for speeding, upon approaching the car I notice she has 4 young children in the car and that NONE of them are secured in their seats. Even though there were 3 car seats in the back. So I explain why she was stopped and inquire as to why none of the kids are belted in. Her response was "I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THAT CRAP!!!"
Yes ma'am, I'll be right back with you. Went back to my unit and ran her noting that she had received a ticket the previous year for the same thing, just one child. ROGER THAT! Wrote her for speeding, and 4 for the unsecured kids totaling ~$900 in fines. If she had said they had unlatched to see the police man or some other reasonable excuse and had them buckle up I probably would have let her go with a warning.
BUCKLE YOUR KIDS IN!
THAT'S A DATELINE NBC IN THE MAKING.[rebelmouse-image 18979725 is_animated_gif=
I had someone drunkenly confess to me that they witnessed a murder and knew where the murder weapon was ditched...
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING?![rebelmouse-image 18346098 is_animated_gif=
I have two. First, was a suspicious person behind a business that had been burglarized a bunch of times in the past.
Me: what's your name?
Me: okay how do you spell it?
Suspect: ... J-O-T-H-N-A-T-H-A-N -sighs- my name is Robert ___and I have a warrant._
Second was a traffic stop. Driver is in tears begging me not to give him a speeding ticket since he was going to have his license suspended.
Me: tell you what, if you have any information about something more serious than this ticket, I'll give you a warning.
Driver: a couple buddies and I broke into a bunch of cars by Main Street
Me: you've got to be KIDDING me.
Driver: I swear! All the stuff we took is at my friends house.
Turns out the driver was part of a group that was going through car's that were unlocked. We ended up arresting 4 people, 2 adults (18yrs old) and 2 juveniles. They all went to jail for a few years, but I kept my promise and did not give the driver a ticket.
ROLL OVER AND PLAY DEAD.[rebelmouse-image 18356478 is_animated_gif=
It's pretty common for people to openly admit to driving 10MPH over the speed limit because they think that 10 over is acceptable. It's also common that they don't know the speed limit. So they'll admit to going 45 in what they think is a 35 but it's actually a 25. Your best strategy is just to be polite and play dumb.
IS THAT REALLY YOUR BEST ANSWER?[rebelmouse-image 18979726 is_animated_gif=
I knew a kid who was arrested after pointing a gun at the police after they stopped him because they got a call about car prowlers. When he tried to run away he slipped and fell, so they caught him. When the police officer was telling the other officers that the guy was trying to shoot at him, he said "I forgot to take the safety off". He basically just admitted to attempted murder of a police officer and was sentenced to 13 years in prison at the ripe old age of 17.
ALWAYS SAY SORRY.[rebelmouse-image 18979727 is_animated_gif=
My friend apologized for not drinking after the cop asked her if she'd had anything that night.
AS LONG AS YOU HAVE A PLAN.[rebelmouse-image 18362193 is_animated_gif=
My brother was caught with a decent amount of marijuana in middle school. Told the officer "I wasn't gonna smoke it I was just gonna sell it."
That was now a distribution charge instead of simple possession. He was never actually charged with anything though, officer felt bad for him I think.
YES! ALL OF THIS IS FOR YOU.[rebelmouse-image 18979728 is_animated_gif=
As I was handcuffing a guy after a felony car stop for a stolen car, he looks around sees all the cop cars and the helicopter. Says to me "All this for a gta?" Why thank you sir, now i don't have to interview you.
HOW MANY OF ME DO YOU SEE?[rebelmouse-image 18979729 is_animated_gif=
I had pulled over a guy for some minor traffic offense who I knew had a twin brother. He gave me his name, let's say Jeff. I decided to check the other twin's name as well, boom, warrant. I knew he was bullshitting me but I couldn't prove it.
I chit chatted casually for a few minutes and then asked him "what's Jeff up to these days?" He answered and started telling me and I said "but I thought you were Jeff?!" He didn't even try to get out of it at that point. Admitted he wasn't Jeff and went to jail.
The annoying thing is that I later fell for this with another set of brothers and had to go back and arrest the kid the next day after he totally got the better of me!
BE COOL KIDS. BE COOL.[rebelmouse-image 18979730 is_animated_gif=
Close enough...A friend of mine is a cop and the first time he pulled anyone over it was a couple of teenagers in the car. My buddy says to them jokingly, "alright guys, where are you hiding the pot?" They were instantly terrified so they opened the middle console and handed him an eighth ounce of weed. He couldn't believe it and said he honestly felt really bad because at that point he had no choice but to write them up.
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.[rebelmouse-image 18979731 is_animated_gif=
My girlfriend was going through customs one time, and when the security guy asked her if she was carrying anything, she responded with "Just my explosive personality", followed by finger guns and a wink. This set of actions was immediately regretted.
JUST HUSH.[rebelmouse-image 18979732 is_animated_gif=
I used to intern for a prosecutor, we had one case where we had the officer's report for the DUI. After completing (and passing) the field sobriety, the guy told the officer "Oh good, I thought you were going to ask me to say the alphabet backwards. I can't even do that sober!"
We kept a copy of the report in the office for later laughs.
IT'S NOT ME IT'S YOU.[rebelmouse-image 18346341 is_animated_gif=
Me after pulling over a 40+ year old man on a scooter: "Am i going to find anything illegal under the seat?"
Him: "Nothing that belongs to me...."
YOU SAY POTATO... I SAY POTATOE...[rebelmouse-image 18346099 is_animated_gif=
Hold my proverbial beer.
I was a mall cop for a time, and it was about as stupid a job as people expect it to be. however, I drew the graveyard shift as it was at least interesting. most of the time.
Picture the scene. 3 AM. Huge empty lot. One SUV parked crooked in the middle of this sea of concrete... and its the only car there.
I take the patrol truck over to look at it, and there are 4 young women in the truck.
Three are sleeping. When I knock on the window, two wake up.
Fast Forward through the obligatories "You okay, private property, suspicious vehicle, see your ID, blah blah etc etc."
Me: So what are you all doing here?
Driver: We just had dinner and were resting, it disagreed with us.
Me: What did you eat?
Front Passenger: Potatoes
Me: (pointing a passed out drunk chick in the back) Did she eat potatoes too?
Front Passenger: (giggle, hiccup) ((no shit)) Oh yeah, a LOOOOTTT.
They all giggle.
That is when I asked the county sheriffs to come remove these drunk asses from my sphere of liability. Which they did.
But when the radio call went out for 4 drunk teenage girls in a mall parking lot... well. The response was impressive.
University Cops (which were equivalent to State Cops)
AND ONE GDMFSOB SECRETARY OF STATE COP
It was a freaking circus.
PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN PEOPLE![rebelmouse-image 18979733 is_animated_gif=
Pull over a car because I was 99% sure she was texting. I get to the window and her phone is on the passenger seat with iMessage open.
Me: Hi do you know what the speed limits are on this stretch of road?
Her: Yeah - 30mph
Me: How fast do you think you were going?
Her: I don't know I was on my phone
Short of having a shopping addiction, no one actually likes spending money on stuff.
Why would you ever willingly give it away? It's your money!
Which might be why it feels so bad when you have to spend money of something that should be free from the beginning. People/ corporations are going to chase that cheddar, though, so there's little you can do besides complain, which frankly might be the best thing the internet is for.
"What should be free?"
Let's get these out of the way first...No, let's get this first one out of the way first.
Hidden fees are the worst.
Hidden. F***ing. Fees.
"Transaction/processing fees when you order a digital product online. Such as a concert ticket, where you pay 6 euro extra while you pay online, and have to print the ticket yourself."
"Or processing fees to pay bills that you need. Duke energy charges a $7 processing fee for you to pay your energy bill. Like wtf."
Pay To Pee
"Public bathrooms! The amount of human piles of poop around because the homeless have no where to relieve themselves!"
"Live in a very tourist-y part of the U.K., all public toilets charge and most cafes/pubs/libraries won’t let people use their toilets. As someone who lives here year round it’s really frustrating and doesn’t seem to make sense."
Want A Better Society? Educate Them.
"College. Or at the very least, college APPLICATIONS. If you're gonna require it for most careers, atleast make it accessible for people. And I just think it's stupid that people have to pay to get rejected."
"Oh god I hate that so much. Same with applying to apartments it’s such a waste of money if you don’t get approved. It racks up quickly too."
It does feel grimy when "official documentation" that is "mandatory" has to be bought and paid for not by the people requiring it, but by the people needing it.
Forcing Us To Pay For Something We're Forced To Have
"ID cards issued by the government. Especially since you need them for almost every aspect of daily living."
"I'm not the biggest fan of free stuf but having to pay for a piece of paper that says "I exist" is ridiculous."
It'll never not feel bad having to pay for something we expect to be free, but it feels ten times worse when it's something you need to get by in life. As in, need to live.
Let's All Agree To Take Care Of Each Other
"All base needs up to a level. I mean stuff we need to survive, eg. power, water,... and things we are required to use to be relevant in daily life internet,..."
"Seeing how now power companies are fuel companies are having THE biggest profit in years while more and more families are pushed into bigger and bigger deths just to get by."
"Same goes for internet tbh, poor kids are just not getting by in school becasue they lack the basic stuff every other kid has to get further in life. I am not saying they need the fastest possible internet with unlimited dl, but give them so they can work for school so the vicious cycle can be broken."
We Need It More Than Anyone
"All mental health services. If you don’t have benefits or a VERY good paying job, they are unaffordable for how often most people really need them. At $120-160/ session even once a week is not affordable for most people these days"
A Fine Line Between Need And Want
"Drinking water, sure. But water is an expendable resource and it should honestly be more restricted when we think about cases like people watering their lawns."
Paying To Live
"Insulin. People are dying because of greedy pharmaceutical companies."
"But We're 'Pro-Life'" - Jerks
"Birth control of all kinds."
"For anyone who b*tches about spending taxpayer money, I'd ask whether it costs more to provide condoms or to house prisoners."
"Giving birth (In the us)"
"As a female US citizen the more I learn about the whole giving birth sh*t the less I want kids. My friend just had a baby, there were some complications. She is now paying off a 14k hospital bill! The lowest I have hears is 8k. 8k just to have a f-cking kid! For a country that is gung-ho about forcing women to have kids they have missed the mark completely."
Everyone is looking for their payout, and unfortunately sometimes we're the ones who have to give it to them, whether it makes sense or not.
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The worst part of having breasts is Florida.
I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is HardioGIF by VIASWEATGiphy
"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
Two Volcanosrachael ray boob sweat GIF by First We Feast: Hot OnesGiphy
"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
ExpensiveHappy Music Video GIF by DJ MustardGiphy
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
Attempted MurderBlack Woman Breast Cancer Awareness GIF by Know Your GirlsGiphy
"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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There are humane ways to tell someone to go home after a... liaison.
How can one be so rude after being so intimate?
I'm not saying you have to snuggle and profess love, but damn, a quick... "thanks, I hope life is kind to you" goes a long way.
Redditor sumyungdood wanted to hear the tea about the times they had to tell a lover to take a hike. They asked:
"What is the worst way someones asked you to leave after sex?"
Tell me your worst. Mine our stories where I had find my clothes in the dark and sneak out naked.
A Late RunTom Hanks Running GIFGiphy
"Asked if he could drive my car to the gas station to buy cigarettes and when he came back he told me he left my keys in the car and it was running."
"An old friend invited me over for her famous beef stew. I got there, we fool around, had sex, then right after she handed me a tupperware of the stew and said 'you got sex and stew, now please leave.' Still not sure if that's the worst way I was kicked out or the best."
"Most of the people here didn’t get stew. You did okay!"
'is it that obvious'
"Went home with a girl from the bar. After we had sex, she said something like 'soooo... think you can get an Uber now? If not, I GUESS you can sleep on the couch for a few hours.' Here I was, sitting on some random girl's couch trying to find an Uber at 4 AM. Mercifully I did find one and when the guy picked me up he said 'so, your hookup kick you out?' I said 'is it that obvious' and he replied 'you weren't the first one I drove back to their car tonight and you probably won't be the last.'"
YummyHungry Taco Bell GIFGiphy
"Go grab some Taco Bell. You can eat it on your way home. Honestly it was better than the sex. And I don't even like Taco Bell that much."
I hate Taco Bell. And since reading this... I hate people.
Mrs. Robinson?Seduce Dustin Hoffman GIF by Top 100 Movie Quotes of All TimeGiphy
"She lit a cigarette, then looked at me for like 20 seconds, and said 'Well, bye.' I just got dressed and left. Never saw her again."
And you are?
"While dozing off, he gently tapped my shoulder, and said: 'Maribel, you can’t stay here.'"
"My name is not Maribel."
"See this is what happens when you don’t let people talk about Bruno."
"He got off me and started looking at pictures of other women on Instagram, and commenting on how much more attractive they were than me and told me 'oh yeah you can go now.' We were best friends for like two years up until that moment."
"I’m open minded but this is exactly why I often don’t trust male friendships. You could even be a lesbian and one moment of vulnerability they may take advantage of that. I know it’s unrelated but your experience made me upset and I’m sorry you had to go through that."
"He rolled over, grabbed his phone, and without even looking at me said 'find your clothes, you know where the door is' and just laid there on his phone ignoring me while I gathered my clothes and left. He tried texting me a few days later because he was drunk and horny so I told him 'you know where your hand is' and blocked him."
GrossParis Hilton Reaction GIFGiphy
"We were good friends for a few years before hooking up after a night of drinking."
"Halfway through sex he told me he can't actually do this because he wanted to get back with his ex and can't mess it up because she's the hottest girl he'll ever be with. He lived in the middle of nowhere and I couldn't leave until the morning so he made me sleep on the couch."
Wow. Some people are truly disgusting. How do you treat other humans this way?
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Most couples are inseparable and enjoy doing everything together, thanks in part to shared mutual interests.
But on occasion, some people in relationships go off in pursuit of one-sided pleasures in secret for various reasons.
These can range from going out to a vegan restaurant when the other person is a carnivore to seeing a Netflix show that is too violent for a squeamish significant other.
Because not every significant other may not share the same passion, Redditors TheTinRam asked:
"What’s a guilty pleasure you hide from your significant other?"
These Redditors needed some "me time."
"Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid 'helping' him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him."
Story For No One
"I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, none of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories (most of them are short)."
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
"Staying up late for peace and quiet."
Chatting For One
"I talk to myself all the time, I was actually wondering last night if it was a really weird thing to do lol"
Naked And Sacred
"I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!"
Some people need to get out of the house.
"Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my 'problems' - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone."
"I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears."
"My husband has gluten sensitivity. If he eats regular pizza, his stomach hurts for a couple of days after."
"Well, I don't, so sometimes I say I'm going for a run, and I do run.... to the pizza store, eat a slice, and run back."
Catching Up With The Boys
"Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time."
"It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some."
"Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not some emergency. So now we do it secretly."
Some of the things people do behind their SO's backs is for endearing reasons.
"I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead."
"I love when she snores."
"She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy."
Scent Of A Man
"Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes. If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark. He smells really, really good."
The Forever Admirer
"I have a whole album of 'unflattering' pictures of her. Not really something I hide, but they make me happy. She’s so silly yet so beautiful."
They say that a couple that plays together, stays together.
That's all well and good. However, a significant other having some alone time should never be stigmatized.
My husband and I usually watch every TV show together, but I watch Netflix's Ozark by myself because I enjoy intense dramas, immensely.
It's not a secret. And he's glad I watch the shows that I want to watch on my own time–just like I encourage him to watch all those UFO documentaries that he's obsessed with, by himself.
No really, watch them without me.
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