Police Officers Share The Funniest Things People Have Done To Avoid Them
You're not getting me now copper!
Being a cop is one of the most dangerous jobs one can hold. Everyday on duty is a gamble with your life but that doesn't mean some comedy can't come along with it. The things people will do when they are trying escape the audience of the boys and girls in blue can be shocking.
Redditor u/boiledcarrot wanted all the officers of the law out there to give us a chuckle by asking.... Cops of Reddit, what was the funniest thing you've seen someone do because they noticed you?
My nephew when he was like 7 used to always drop to his shoes and quickly tie them whenever he saw me. Apparently my sister in law told him that it's illegal to have your shoes untied. brittkay83
I was at a traffic light, waiting to cross and I saw this lady with her young son across the street. The kid was running around yelling and generally not listening to his mum.
As I crossed the street I heard the mother say "IF YOU DON'T BEHAVE I'LL ASK THE POLICE UNCLE (Uncle?? Lady, i'm like 23.) TO CATCH YOU. Look! He's here already!"
Kid stops dead in his tracks, looks at me, wordlessly bursts into tears and starts hugging his mother's leg.
Mother gives me an apologetic smile. I'm trying not to giggle as I walk on. fuyuame
My dad and I both work for the same PD, this is his story not mine. The shift before he had a guy detained for misdemeanor warrants or something. Some junkie comes walking down the road, sees the flashing lights and a cop next to a open back door.
He empties his pockets dumping a pipe, needles, and 5 grams of meth on the hood of his patrol car. He then spreads his legs and puts his hands on the car. My dad was shocked, let the other guy in the back go and took in the guy who just handed over his meth. Apparently not sleeping for 3 days makes you paranoid. Birdyy2
One day I was headed to my station at the end of shift (meaning I stare straight ahead and avoid getting any paperwork to make me stay late) I happened to be behind the same car for maybe 2 miles on the same road. We're sitting at a red light and out of nowhere this dude runs it.
Everyone at the intersection looks at me so of course I stop the dude. Make contact and he can barely hand me his license he's shaking so bad from being nervous. Ask why he's so scared and he says he saw me behind him and he's on diversion... For running a red light. Also ends up having weed in the car. brentpepe
Where I work it is illegal to walk around in public with open liquor. At the time I was on patrol and driving a Crown Vic. As I was going down the street a guy must have thought I was a taxi cab and he tried hailing me with an open can of beer. Once he realized I was a police officer he looked just like Ralphy from a Christmas Story. "Oh fuuudddgggeee." I was laughing so hard I didn't have the heart to give him a ticket. One-Eyed-Willies
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This question reminds me of an experience I had as a kid. My friend (who was black, probably plays a role into how things panned out) was interested in becoming a DJ so he invested a lot of money into amps, turntables, subwoofers, etc. He used the same equipment in his car as he did with his turntables, and just powered them off a 12v power supply when using them outside his car. Well we're sitting in his back yard, and he's messing around with the turntables, when a cop car just pulls up all slow.
The back yard was separated from the alley by just a chain link fence. The cop in a suspicious voice says "Hey, do you have a receipt for all that equipment?" and without missing a beat my friend claps back with "Do you have a receipt for those shoes you're wearing?" And the cop just kind of nods as if to say "fair enough" and gets back in the car and leaves. m31td0wn
One time we had a shirtless man enter the lobby of the jail yelling he was a DEA agent. We was demanding that we release two inmates to him (his girlfriend and friend). After he was in cuffs it turned out the two people he was after had already been released the day before. When we ran his name, he had a felony warrant for impersonating a peace officer. :) Joe21821
I'm not an officer, but one lovely summer day in downtown Seattle, my children and me were wandering around at Pike Place Market, riding the monorail, etc. They were roughly four and five at the time.
A street artist had made my daughter a balloon "crown" with a big flower poking out the top. She was wearing it on her head when we passed by an alley and it blew off into the street. It exploded piece by piece, with each piece echoing down the street like a gunshot.
Two street officers and two mounted officers (on horses) were there in the blink of an eye. They saw the balloon parts, and realized what had happened. My daughter was crying, the officers were shaken but laughing, and this, being Seattle,(Latte Land) prompted one officer to say that we owed them all a coffee.
My daughter was sad to lose her "hat", but the mounted officers let my children pet the horses, so everything worked out fine. Ghost_of_a_Black_Cat
I frequent a tavern in my city. A cop stops by every now and then for dinner to go and chills in his squad car for a couple minutes waiting for staff to walk the food out since he doesn't want to make patrons nervous. I was out smoking and there he is patiently waiting out back. Another patron walks out and stops dead in his tracks when he sees the idling cop car. He stares for a couple seconds, spins around and walks back inside. Had me dying for a minute. C3P_Yo
I had a friend who proceeded to do pushups in the middle of the street. We probably looked like a bunch of kids just playing soccer. But then big brain decided to workout on the road. It was hilarious though because the cop was his uncle or something. Azarken
Some folks out there have crossed wires when it comes to sexy talk.
I've heard some of the creepiest things in life whispered in my ear.
Asking if I like being electrocuted is NOT an icebreaker.
That feels like a no-brainer!
But I'm not alone. The folks of Reddit had some experiences to share.
Redditor thecoragray asked:
"What is the least sexiest thing someone has ever said to you?"
Watch 'Silence of the Lambs' and do the exact opposite.
It's literally that easy.
Flesh Issueshannibal lecter 90s GIFGiphy
“'I want to wear your skin.'”
"Alright Buffalo Bill I’m out."
"My wife says she wants to climb inside my skin and live in me."
The Old Days
"I was in college, right when Pokémon go was at it's peak. I was catching a Jigglypuff before class was starting. This dude next to me said 'Hey baby. I can Jiggle your Puffs' I moved seats."
"What an amateur. He should have said 'Hey baby. You're making my Wiggly Tuff!'"
"A few weeks ago, in the midst of getting down and dirty, I said to my SO (in the straightest monotone voice) 'ride me like a horse - neigh.' She instantly starts laughing so hard she starts crying. After replaying it in my head I also start laughing."
"That is absolutely not sexy and absolutely hilarious at the same time. Wholesome!"
How Old?Nothing Stick Around GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"'You remind me of my old philosophy professor.' The image that immediately popped into my mind was of a geriatric man with heavyset glasses lost in a library."
Remind me of who? No, thank you.
Woof!Animation Dog GIF by Jason ClarkeGiphy
"You'll make sounds only dogs can hear."
Acknowledge other Humans
"'Why cant I bother people that sleep on the street? They are drugheads.'"
"When she said that I knew that she was not the one, people with that attitude are not for me."
"I hate how so many people just dismiss homeless people as human beings just by saying they're drug addicts. 'Ok then maybe we can help them get off their addictions and that will eventually help them be more successful in life.'"
"'No they're dug addicts.' People will do anything they can to not recognize them as just other people."
"When a sexy boss I had told me that if I screwed up what I was doing she'd kick me in my testicles. I know there are people that like that crap and stuff but she really meant it and it was as non-sexual and threatening as it could have been. At the end I didn't screw up and we shared some beers that same day, now she works from her home taking care of her 2 children, never thought she'd be able to have any kids."
What's In a Name?
"I've had two women call out (one screamed out) my name during sex. Nothing puts me off more which, in their defense, they didn't know."
"It just comes off as cheesy to me and makes me laugh, pulling me right out of the zone. Nope."
"I'm the same way. It takes me out of the moment, like a teacher calling your name while you're daydreaming in class. I'm always like, 'Huh? What do you want?' for a second before it clicks. Then I'm like, 'Ohhhhh right. Right, that. No problem. I got you there.'"
"Thankfully I don't say all of this out loud."
FeedersHungry Pet Pig GIF by CameoGiphy
"'The way you eat makes me so horny.'"
"It was twenty minutes into our first date. I was eating a salad. There was not a second date, and I gave up entirely after that because it was the third 'feeder' in a row. I have very terrible dating luck. lol."
Whew... people really need to think before they speak.
Do you have any crazy comments to share? Let us know in the comments below.
CW: Graphic stories and experiences.
Life is full of all kinds of events.
Events and things we can never unsee.
Or actions we can never undo.
I don't know if there is any way to be prepared to see the worst of life or to find yourself involved in such things.
It all just seems to happen.
A dark twist and turn can be just around each and every corner.
Redditor Similar_Helicopter27 wanted to see who would share about some of life's darker moments, so they asked:
"What's the most f**ked up thing you’ve ever did/saw?"
I've witnessed muggings and car accidents.
That's why I try not to leave the house.
Bounced BackKid Dancing GIFGiphy
"I saw my little brother getting hit by a car and flying a few meters through the air when he was only 6 years old. Fortunately he didn’t even break a bone but damn, I‘ll never forget this."
In a matter of seconds...
"The most f**ked up thing I’ve seen was a guy who had just been in a motorcycle accident bleeding out on the side of the freeway. He was clenching onto the hand of the girl who was the driver of the car involved. She was crying hysterically. I saw his hand turn white in a matter of seconds. I remember it whenever I see someone on a bike."
Like a Movie
"I witnessed a bad car accident once. The car launched off of an overpass as I went under it. The car flipped several times. It was like something out of a movie. I was the first person on the scene, my wife called 911. It was not a pretty sight. wasn't much left of the person's body."
That's a NYC StoryBored Episode 15 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Found a dead body on the sidewalk in front of my building on my third day living in NYC. When I told my supervisor about it at work, hoping to process it with someone, she just kind of brushed it off like 'welcome to New York.'"
Only in New York is a dead person on the street just another ordinary day.
3AMexcuse me wtf GIF by Chicago FireGiphy
"I tripped over a dead body in tall grass working an accident trying to find the missing passenger. It was 3am and raining."
It was spiritually bad
"I worked for a horse training ranch for a month when I was a kid. Me and the dude I worked with found a cow that had been dead for a while out in the field. It was bloated and gonna' blow soon. We did not engage with the cow, we weren't prepared for a clean up that day."
"When we came back prepared for cleaning the next day it had ruptured and the smell was life changing. It was spiritually bad. Since I was basically an unpaid intern, the paid guys told me to take a hike. 14 year old me took a hike. I was a hard working kid and they knew it so let me off with that one."
"The photo evidence for a child murder case that they showed in court when I worked for the department of human services. The parents wanted to retain custody of their older son which is why they were involved with CPS. I was 22. There were just countless pages we had to look at while the expert witnesses explained what we were seeing. The images are burned into my brain forever, and I’ll never forget his name as long as I live. That poor baby."
"Saw a kid I knew get hit by a car, flip through the air, jump up and picked up one of his shoes and then collapse and got airlifted out. The rest of us were sitting on the corner eating hamburgers. Never saw him again. They said he was paralyzed."
"I brought his banged up bike and glasses and shoes back to my house but they never got picked up. My dad was on the volunteer fire department and managed the Medivac landing and was first on scene because we only lived a few doors down."
SilenceSad Rabbit GIF by Muffin & NutsGiphy
"Watching a car traveling at about 130mph in my rear view mirror almost hit me but instead hit the base of a bridge, the crunching sound then bodies flying everywhere, then total silence."
"The instant silence after so much noise is odd it is like a second but almost feels like several minutes of pure peacefulness then bam the sound is back and everything is crazy."
Well, that is a lot of nightmares being relived.
Bless you all for sharing.
International travel is an incredible, priceless experience, but there are certain safety concerns that a person should always address before traveling.
But there is a lot more to it than sharing your travel itinerary with a trusted love one, depending on where you want to go.
Digging for unique travel advice, one Redditor asked:
"Where are the most dangerous places for Americans to travel?"
A Legitimate Question
"I wonder if this sort of thing actually draws Americans there: either for the near-death rush or to prove that they survived despite all the clear advice not to go."
According to the U.S. State Department...
"The US State Department has a color-coded advisory system about how dangerous countries are for Americans to visit."
"The highest level (don’t travel there for any reason) are: Venezuela, Haiti, Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, North Korea, Myanmar, Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, Syria, Yemen, Libya, Sudan, South Sudan, Somalia, Mali, and Burkina Faso."
"VENEZUELA. As soon as you leave the airport, you can be intercepted by criminals and even corrupt police to rob you or worse."
"Little-known fact: From 2016–2019, Venezuelan government death squads are believed to have murdered at least 18,000 people, according to this report by Human Rights Watch. They've undoubtedly killed thousands more since then."
Central African Republic
"Some tips for traveling to the Central African Republic:"
"Draft a will and designate appropriate insurance beneficiaries and/or power of attorney."
"Discuss a plan with loved ones regarding care/custody of children, pets, property, belongings, non-liquid assets (collections, artwork, etc.), funeral wishes, etc."
"Be sure to appoint one family member to serve as the point of contact with hostage-takers, media, U.S. and host country government agencies, and Members of Congress, if you are taken hostage or detained."
"Establish a proof of life protocol with your loved ones, so that if you are taken hostage, your loved ones can know specific questions (and answers) to ask the hostage-takers to be sure that you are alive (and to rule out a hoax)."
"Leave DNA samples with your medical provider in case it is necessary for your family to access them."
"I have a Croatian citizenship and in fact, many people speculate that Croatians originated from Iran (at least language-wise) and thus, Iranians are welcoming to Croatians. I have had friends go there and said it was great, super welcoming people, cheap, etc.; just don't go with an American passport."
"On I-4, you would never get anywhere, you can only go 0 miles per hour between Tampa and Orlando. Some people were supposed to be at work ten years ago and they're still stuck in traffic."
Unsafe for Women
"Can confirm, my good friend never felt more harassed or uncomfortable than when she was in Egypt. And she has been all over for work."
The Sentinel Islands
"The Sentinel Islands in India. Inhabitants will kill any foreigners that come to the island, even if people at sea wash up on the island. They consider everyone not from the island a threat, therefore killing anyone coming there. The Indian government actually put a three-mile no-boat border there to protect everyone from the Sentinel Islands."
Get to the Appointment on Time
"Parts of Mexico are scary as h**l. I used to live in a border town where Americans went across the line for medical and dental care. It’s reached the point with the Drug Cartel violence and kidnapping that these offices have armed security meet the Americans at the border crossing, escort them to and from the doctor's office, and then back to the border."
"Blarney castle. When Americans come here, they almost always pay money to kiss a stone that is routinely defiled by the locals on a regular basis, and has been for decades."
"The American government does ban citizens from traveling to North Korea (you have to ask the Department of State for permission and get a special passport. You have to have a reason for going and tourism won't cut it). It's a relatively recent ban put in place after the Otto kid, if I recall correctly."
"I believe North Korea is also the only country the US government bans us from visiting. I wonder why some other countries haven't been banned (some are more dangerous than North Korea at this point)."
"Mogadishu is number one."
"From what I read, if you travel there, it is a guarantee that you will be dead within hours."
"I'll never forget the time I (an American) was in Tanzania and trying to arrange passage to Madagascar via a shipping vessel (I met someone who knew someone who knew someone who could get me on the ship for very cheap). Eventually, the captain told me he would grant me passage, but warned me that if pirates boarded their ship, they would likely take me with them and hold me hostage."
"I didn't fully trust that the crew/captain wouldn't sell me to the pirates, haha... so I never did make that trip. Amsterdam was a nice alternative though."
"I did visit Zanzibar. the red colobus monkeys were cool, but nothing compared to how I imagine seeing lemurs in the wild would be. My only advice to people in Zanzibar: If the ATM in Stonetown isn't working, don't follow a guy named Jeff to the 'other ATM.' There isn't another ATM. And, Jeff will not want Zambian Kwatcha when he robs you. However, if you agree to buy several football jerseys from him, he will not harm you (yes, this is a real story from my trip)."
"Oh, and don't trust the taxi drivers when you want to buy a ticket to the ferry that takes you to Zanzibar... they will take you to a fake ticket place that sells you a one-way ticket, not allowing return passage. This didn't happen to me, but to some of my friends."
Applies to Everyone
"Some of these countries aren't dangerous to Americans specifically. They are just dangerous places to travel to in general, irrespective of what your nationality is. Like, nobody is traveling to Ukraine or Venezuela right now."
"With that said, being a Westerner (especially white, affluent-looking) will make you a target for crime in pretty much any country stricken by poverty, war, or social conflict. Even in politically 'friendly' countries like South Africa, you still need to be extra vigilant."
While traveling is an amazing experience, it may be more important than ever to exercise caution while visiting another country. A person should always travel prepared, but it may be more important now than it used to be to send a friend your itinerary and to travel with someone you trust.
But some of the places described here might be better to put off visiting for the time being, at least until the increased political unrest ebbs away a bit.
Between all the movies coming out and various streaming services we have to pick from, we're really at the top of the entertainment era right now.
But despite how much we have to pick from, there are some pretty unlikeable characters out there, and some of them are in some predominant, if not leading, roles.
Redditor LuinAelin asked:
"Who's the worst main character we're supposed to sympathize with?"
Hate for Caillou
"I can see the intention behind Caillou, like presenting kids with a child who's actually childish. he throws tantrums and acts selfishly and then grows."
"But I feel like that's too complex for kids. I think kids watch Caillou acting like a sh*thead and just focus on that without internalizing the show's morals."
"Caillou is Tyler Durden from 'Fight Club' for kids."
An Angry Rant for Caillou
"That f**ker basically teaches kids how to whine about s**t because, 'It's not fair.' What's not fair is parents having to listen to their kids behave like that lollipop-looking piece of s**t."
"F**k you, Caillou. You better hope I better never see your a** in the streets."
Piper from 'Orange is the New Black'
"I don't know, the other characters point out her character flaws. How superficial and manipulative she is. And then they go into her family dynamics to show why she is the way she is."
"It's the same with all the other characters. It's just at the beginning, we are meant to believe she is somewhat different from the other prisoners because of her background, but the show shows she is actually much the same."
Emily from 'Emily in Paris'
"I don’t just find her annoying, I truly do not like her. She is a deeply toxic person."
"It’s not just that she is spoiled and treats people around her like they are just for her own personal benefit, it’s how she does not care about the pain and problems she inflicts."
"She seems regretful about being found out or getting consequences for her actions, but not about her actions themselves. It’s always 'I can explain!' after she has had plenty of time and situations to come clean about something and, well, explain… but always only a last resort after lying and covering up."
"She is very manipulative and spins all situations to be about her or to her benefit. She plays the victim when she can and only apologizes to gain back control of a situation, but never really seems to try and change her behavior."
Joel Goodsen from 'Risky Business'
"There's a setup, in the beginning, that Tom Cruise is in some business class where they're supposed to come up with some business idea. Then his parents go away for the weekend."
"Cue that famous scene. Tom Cruise, the protagonist and high school student, orders a sex worker. They turns out to be a man. But that man gives him another number to call and he finally gets a girl, and they bang."
"Something happens where Cruise now needs money. He and the sex worker he's 'befriended' decide to start a brothel in his parents' house. A brothel that caters exclusively to Cruise's high school friends. They make the money they need and then some. Parents come home none the wiser."
"We end with Tom Cruise back in the business class failing the assignment because he was busy doing the whole child brothel thing but ends with a voice-over where he's proudly saying how much money he actually made."
"Turns out he actually was a businessman!"
Rory Gilmore from the 'Gilmore Girls'
"Whiny, narcissistic, cheated on multiple boyfriends and with a married man..."
"In hindsight, it's not a surprise she turned out how she did with everyone powdering her @ss from day one of the show."
"The way she collapsed because one whole person told her she wasn't cut out for the career she wanted was proof of that. In any other show, that would be the point where the protagonist digs deeps to remember why they wanted that dream or realize their talents were better suited for something else."
"Instead, Rory trashes a boat, quits Yale for half the year, moves in with her grandparents because Lorelei put a foot up her a** for once, and then spun her wheels for the next decade after graduation, doing nothing of note while thinking her farts smelled of roses."
"Mitchum did absolutely nothing wrong, and boy was he ever vindicated in the sequel."
Both of the 'Gilmore Girls'
"I think people miss the real point of the show, at least to me. You can have all the intelligence, money, and opportunity to succeed in life but your choices are what dictate outcomes."
"Rory and Lorelei are both victims of their own choices. I feel like the revival completed that circle."
Nate from 'Ted Lasso'
"I would have said Nate from 'Ted Lasso,' but the show caught my vibe and turned him into the antagonist."
"I hope he doesn’t get a redemption arc."
"The writers are gonna have to do some next-level s**t if they want me to ever like Nate again."
Cade Yaeger from 'Transformers'
"Cade Yaeger from the newer 'Transformers' movies. Was Sam a good main character? No. Not at all. But d**n, Cade is horrible."
"In his first, let's say, 10 minutes on screen, we learn that he doesn't pay for his house, his electricity, he doesn't pay his employee, he is a s**t inventor, overly protective of his daughter, and is all around an a**. And he only gets worse."
Jax Teller from 'Sons of Anarchy'
"Jax Teller from 'Sons of Anarchy.'"
"Dude’s son straight up got kidnapped and his wife got injured to the point she couldn’t perform surgeries because his stepdad put a hit out on her, and it STILL wasn’t enough for him to leave his dumb motorcycle club."
"His wife begged him to leave for their safety and he wouldn’t... she tried to leave on her own with her children and he stopped her. Then she ends up getting murdered by his psycho mom..."
"The dude was a straight-up piece of s**t."
Noah from 'The Notebook'
"You're supposed to watch it and be like, 'Yeah, Ryan Gosling is the better man, and Rachel McAdams needs to leave that swine James Marsden for him!' when in reality Ryan Gosling's character is a total f**king weirdo, and James Marsden's character is just like a regular dude who treats her well and isn't evil or anything."
Oscar from 'Shark Tale'
"He's a lying, self-serving, womanizing, ego-filled waste of space who uses everyone else for personal gain and nothing else."
"It's actually impressive that the 'hot fish' he's after is an incredibly shallow gold digger, but manages to be a better person simply because she directly tells him that's who she is. She's still trash, but she's honest trash."
Mark from 'Rent'
"I love 'Rent,' but as I get older, the more ridiculous it gets. Mark is a rich kid who has parents that love him but he runs off to cosplay as someone who is poor to make 'films,' which is really just him pointing his camera at poor people all day."
"He doesn't think he should have to pay rent to Benny because they were friends and he let them stay for free for a long time and he thinks that should just last forever?"
"Then he finally gets a job but quits because it was 'selling out.' Ughhhh."
The Silly Rabbit from 'Trix'
"The kids from the Trix cereal commercials. All the rabbit wants to do is eat some cereal, but the kids won't let him just because he's a rabbit. Racist pr**ks."
While there's a lot of entertaining material here, it's a clear reminder that some pretty unlikeable characters have been created for leading roles, and they're often distastefully masquerading as likeable ones.