We do not give our friends in blue enough credit. They face situations we can only try NOT to dream of. Danger lurks in every second, every second of their shifts. And Lord do they have some stories of survival to tell. Being a police officer is a whirlwind of crazy. And we need to know more.
Redditor u/Yokeyoyo wanted to hear from all the brothers and sisters in blue by asking.... Police Officers of Reddit, what's the craziest situation you've been in?
A guy on a sports team I play in is a drug squad cop and told us the following story. They had staked out a meth lab house for awhile and surveilled the house with pinhole cameras for some time. They'd noticed that the occupants were becoming increasingly erratic, someone senior suggested it was due to them not replacing the filters in their protective masks.
Anyway, at some stage they decide it's time to go in, so tactical enter and grab all the guys and clear the rooms. Then a chemical team go in to make sure everything is safe. Eventually my mate and his team go in to collect evidence with a few young uniforms to help.
The house is a bit of a shambles but nothing too unexpected, until one of the uniforms picks up a large rubber dildo and starts playing around with it in front of everybody. The senior then tells him: you know that while reviewing all the footage on this place we never saw any women entering or leaving this house... And why are you the only one not wearing gloves? bPhrea
Not a cop, but a cop friend of mind in SE Washington, DC. He got a domestic disturbance call and arrived to a calm scene. The husband explained he and his wife had been arguing, and that she had gone over the top, but they were both fine now. The wife confirmed the story, but stated she didn't want the husband back in the house that night. My friend asked if the husband had a place to go, and he agreed to go to his mother's house for the night.
The husband left, then my friend and his partner left soon after. About an hour later, they get a call back to the same house. When they get there, the husband is in the kitchen dead. The wife explains that right after the police left, her husband came back and resumed arguing with her. He got in her face and she stabbed in the neck with a chicken bone, hitting his carotid artery. abbrollher
On a hot midnight in The Bronx about 330 am......
On a hot midnight in The Bronx about 330 am got a burg call. Me and my partner found it strange when central gave us the address because it was a funeral home. We arrive on scene of this brownstone building and immediately see the basement lights are on. We look at each other and say "no way ... someone actually broke in here????" So we enter through what is an open door and begin to clear each room of the funeral home/ house. When we reach the basement and open what is a brightly lit body prep storage and prep room we are immediately confronted with several bodies on tables covered in different stages of undress with bed sheets on them.
Our attention is drawn to a very startled naked man holding playing cards . I look at him and simply say "What the heck and who the heck are you?? He looks at me and my partner and nervously responds ... "I'm the Mortician" .... wait .... "Who are you?? And what the heck are you doing??? "I'm the mortician and I'm working and playing cards " "Playing cards ??? My partner says ... "Yeah cards ...see????"... holding his hands out displaying the deck of cards.
I look around and see each of the 4-5 bodies have their own hands dealt to them ...
We asked for His ID .... verified he belonged there and proceeded to leave with a queasy feeling laughing out butts off.
My partner looks at me and says how should we mark this job.... ????
Best job in the world..... I miss the clowns but not the circus. nforcr
Not a police officer, but I know one.
I'm sure he has a million stories, but my favorite that he's told me was the time he was called to a local Mexican restaurant. When he arrived, he was directed to a Cadillac in the parking lot that was a rockin', if you get my drift.
He knocks on the window, and a butt naked 80 year old woman gets out, pissed off that someone interrupted her getting laid. Her 80 year old husband was laying naked in the vehicle still.
This old woman stood outside of her vehicle, completely naked, for a solid 5 minutes, arguing w my friend about how she should be able to get laid whenever she wants.
There was more to the story of course, but as I'm not the first hand story teller, I can't do the story the proper justice it deserves.
He didn't arrest them, even though she stood naked outside for 5 minutes, so she got off easy (pun intended). alwaysmyfault
Still with me....
I babysat for a cop (2 toddler daughters)(10/10 kids, cute and very affectionate) and he told me of one story where he was called to this old lady's home. When they got there they found her husbands rotting body under a pile of newspapers. So apparently the lady had really bad dementia and had thought the husband was a robber and hit him in the back of the head with a rolling pin.
The poor dementia lady went back to bed and he was dead in the morning. She didn't know what to do, so she covered his body with newspapers and somehow managed to survive on her own for a few days. A neighbor started to worry and came to check up on them. The neighbor was the one to call the police. That story haunted me for like a month. ratsoh
I just asked my dad, who was a cop for 30+ years.
He told me he pulled over a car full of "Woodchucks", older drunkards from a rural area in the Northeast area of the US. He was in his late 20's at the time, so in good shape compared to the drunks. I think there were 4. While my dad was processing the driver, he had him in the front seat of his car. Once the guy realized he was probably going to be arrested, he started ripping the radio and anything he could grab out of his car. He grabbed my dad and pulled him out of the passenger side of his vehicle and onto the ground.
My dad landed between this guy's legs and into some kind of leg-lock chokehold. The guy, during all this, has started to scream to his friends to get his gun and kill him. Once he has him in a leg-lock, he looks down and says "now I'm gonna kill you." before he starts to choke my dad with his legs. I guess backup showed up just in time, or had been there, the deputy at the time hit him in the head with a baton and sent him out. tenthplagueb
I went home and hugged my son.
Did a stop on a pretty obvious dope car. Driver is tweaking on meth. Passenger also tweaking and is a female that weighs 95 pounds while being 5'8 or so. She looked like a concentration camp victim. She's offering to provide oral services in exchange for her release. Obviously I decline.
Guy in the back appears to be asleep. I get his ID from the tweaking driver as my backup arrives. We get all 3 out, I can see needles all over the car. The guy in the back wakes up and gets out. Dispatch gives us returns, letting us know the back passenger is has a parole violation (he was released early from prison IYDK) for felon in possession of a firearm.
The dispatcher was supposed to warn us before giving the return out loud over the radio but didn't in this case. Old dude stands up and reaches in his waistband. I see this happening in slow motion and realize it's about to get real. My partner swings from around the other side of the vehicle where he was talking to one of the other suspects. I start to yell gun in time for my partner to straight up linebacker this dude, which we got into cuffs. Had a .45 in the waistband.
I went home and hugged my son, who was 1 at the time.
Edit: was out at a family function. I am about to start replying to all the messages. Thank you.
Second edit: I have a few more good ones if anyone cares to hear them. Also, I don't work patrol anymore. I'm a detective with my agency now.
67 Stitches In....
Not a cop, my dad was. Was backing up a situation where guy allegedly was shooting up on the street. When he came over, guy was arguing with the officer on scene, definitely not being aggressive in any way, or suspicious though. Long story short, the other two officers on scene got aggressive with him and grabbed him and slammed him multiple times into a car parked on the street and he had the get 67 stitches. My dad told the chief and ended up having to quit since everyone was pissed at him for doing so. madiison1461
I legitimately considered law enforcement as a career path, and regularly chat up officers in public or social situations. I used to ask questions like this.
A former Vegas officer told me a story about he and his partner going to break up a party with some expected underage alcohol and narcotics activity.
While there someone brought up an unusual van down the street. They went expecting more kids nonsense. It contained gang members waiting to kill someone leaving the party.
He was shot multiple times. Spent months in the hospital. His partner was murdered. Dead before EMT arrived.
I stopped asking after this answer. official_fox_news
Answered a disturbance call to find a drunk dude climbing in a car while his wife screamed at him. She smacked his windshield with a bat, destroying it as he peeled out. We followed him maybe .5 mile with the sirens and lights while he drove with his head out the window Ace Ventura style. Poor bastard didn't get his head back inside in time passing a UPS truck and his head pieces ended up on my windshield. SgtSavage110
Responded with my partner to a welfare check on an elderly gentleman. Knocked on the door, walked in and couldn't find him. Went to his garage and found him sound asleep behind the wheel. He tried to commit suicide by asphyxiation. Thing is, he only had a small amount of fuel and it was a new Civic. He was pissed when he woke up that I wasn't St Peter. Risin_bison
Showed up to a call once about a baby crying nonstop for hours and no sign of an adult being home. We went into the house and I followed the sound of the crying baby upstairs to find an 18 month old with her arms duct taped to her crib. I undid the duct tape and it was obvious this was not the first time it had happened. I brought the child downstairs and outside. The mom was walking up the sidewalk of the housing unit and flipped crazy on me.
I handed the child off to a patrol and cuffed her. It was the most satisfying clicking of handcuffs I had ever heard.
Edit: This happened when I was in the Army as an MP. The father of the child was deployed at the time. From what I heard, he was granted permission to return home and take custody of the child. They got a divorce and I believe he won custody. I don't know what happened to her as far as a sentencing or jail time. dogballtaster
Put it Back.Giphy
My dad friend who is a cop in NC told me that some teen tried to steal an electric shopping cart from Target with a ton of crap in it and tried to outrun the cops but the cart only went 5mph for like 25 meters then the battery died. The cop just asked him to push the cart back since it died and return the stolen items. Bigbadballer88
With an Axe.
Dad tells the story of a guy he knew who kept getting caught for writing bad checks. He was such a big guy he wouldn't fit in the police car so they would just meet him at the magistrate office and write him tickets. (I know, some trust) but a year or so after this kept happening, he got a call that there was a domestic dispute at the house. So they rush over there and he's got an axe in his hand sitting on the front porch all bloody.
They approach and tell him to put the axe down which he does and proceeded to tell them that his wife is in the bathtub, or at least her head is. But guy was completely open and cooperative, didn't run or anything. Asked if he could meet them at the magistrate office and dad was like yeah nah dawg you're gonna have to get in the car this time.
I was in shock....
While serving in South Korea, my team was on patrol in the local drinking village when we heard someone drunkenly singing the US national anthem. At a loss for where this individual was, we finally looked up and there he was.... tight rope walking on the ledge of a building 3 stories up. This is when precision of language is of vital importance...especially when dealing with a drunk. The sergeant on scene said, "Hey, come down here!" The drunkard said, "On my way!" And proceeded to step off.
Under the impression I was about to witness my first death, I was in shock. Through some bit of weird luck/science, he glanced the hood of a slightly misted Daewoo truck and slid down to the ground. We ran over to him and he said, "Hey guys, how's it going?" He had open fractures on both femurs and after some makeshift splinting and controlling the bleeding, he was transported to the nearest hospital. Soju is a hell of a thing. Reddit
"I'm not crazy!"Giphy
Definitely the time that an older, mentally ill woman tried to burn her house down because she believed that was the only way to disarm the atom bomb in her attic. I got her to walk with me to my car and get in the back by telling her it was the only place she'd be safe. When I got in and started driving, she started yelling that I couldn't take her to jail because she hadn't done anything wrong.
I calmly informed her that we were going to the hospital, which prompted even louder yelling of, "I'm not crazy!" I replied, "I don't think you're crazy." She screamed, "Then why are you taking me to the hospital?!" I told her, "Well, you were next to that atom bomb, right? We gotta get you checked for radiation poisoning." Her eyes got wide and she said, "Oh crap! I didn't think about that, you better hurry!"
For you Rookie.
First time my brother arrested someone was really funny. He and his training officer were working the graveyard shift and got a call for suspicious activity at a house. They arrive and the homeowner says they're is someone sneaking around his house that shouldn't be there. So they start looking around with their flashlights, grass is really overgrown in the backyard and my brother notice one of those Fisher Price kid's car (yellow & red plastic car) moving on its own. They found their guy, naked and high AF trying to hide under the kids toy and crawl away. Training officer says,"Well, he's your's rookie", had my brother cuff him (guy didn't want to go to jail and put up a naked fight) and take the guy to jail. j2142b
In a bunny suit....
Attended a structural fire in a downtown high rise. Was tasked with evacuating local residents in case the building collapsed.
Third house I went to, the guy answers in a full bunny suit with gas mask propped up in his head. English wasn't his first language, and as I was trying to communicate that he needed to evacuate, it became clear he was running a meth lab inside. Arrested Asian Walter White, and then had to sit in the shadow of the structure fire keeping eyes on the house while waiting for CLEAR (clandestine lab) team to show up.
In that time fire trucks basically surrounded my vehicle so I couldn't move it, even after CLEAR team moved in. Walter had his lawyer call in my pc, and it was about 10 hours before we could head back to cells. I've never had to pee so badly in my life. Philosorunner
Former PO, I'll try not to make this long: Early morning about 1 hour before I had to end my shift, dispatch said to go lights and sirens to an address. A pit bull was actively mauling an elderly woman. I get there and the woman is practically hanging on to life, blood all over the home. I tased the dog, twice before it responded. A K-9 unit had a muzzle and a strong leash. Dog was eventually put down, woman survived.
Second situation was an active shooter with officer down. It was a real crap show. Dude was off his rocker, shot at a fellow officer. This officer ended up retiring after this, but I and many others thought he was dead.
Third situation. I respond to domestic violence call, shootout with husband, he shoots me 3x and all 3 hit my vest. This was about 6 months after the second situation. I ended my police career after this. KingNebby
I know a guy, who was a cop in Texas when I was in middle school. He told me about this one time this woman called 911 because her house was haunted. He preceded to put handcuffs on an invisible "ghost" and acted like he was putting it in the police car. austingarrett
Sometimes the little things we take for granted are the very things that people from other places wish they had access to. Let’s face it, as far as consumerism Americans are pretty spoiled for choice in what they can do or get ahold of.
Do you want biscuits covered in gravy and a bacon donut on the side at 4am? American diners have you covered. Want to spend $3 on a street hotdog vendor and take a gamble? That’s your right. Even creature comforts like having air conditioning being mainstream is different than most other countries.
When it boils down to it people love the convenience, and if there’s one thing America has become good at, it is providing that to anyone willing to shell out the money for it.
Jimlobster wanted to know what common items or trends in the United States others wished would come to their home country. They asked:
“Non-Americans of Reddit, what is popular in the US that you wish was more popular where you live?”
“I'm from Brazil: Kitchen with island, sinkhole with the garbage disposal, air conditioner everywhere in the house.”
“EDIT: I'm talking about the kitchen sinkhole that you can throw food there without clog the plumbing, in Brazil all the food remainings you have to throw in a bin. It's garbage disposal what I meant, I made a search and made a new edit.” raicorreia
The joy of getting 2am diner food after a night out…Food Eating GIF by Moosh & TwistGiphy
“24/7 diners, I don't know if they actually exist but they sound awesome.” turngre3n
Having a good hot soak…
“Bathtubs apparently. I see them in so many tv shows. Even characters who supposedly aren't well off have a big bathtub in their bathroom.”
“I have not even seen one in real life. I thought maybe some hotels in my country would have them but nope. (Though to be fair I've never stayed in a 5 star or something). Just want to experience bathing in a bathtub once to see what all the fuss is about” vpsj
A good oil’ greasy American breakfast.
“Of what I've seen you guys have breakfast places everywhere and they have a wide selection of stuff like pancakes and donuts, it's not healthy but it sounds great. Most we get in the UK are small cafés or Mcdonalds.” FunniBoii
We add bacon to everything…
“When I moved to the Northwest, all my european friends swore up and down that American desserts and pastries were inferior, that I would have to get sweets imported, and I would miss all the nice bakeries, etc.”
“Immediately when I got here, I was offered a "maple bar with bacon and nuts", and I can never go back. America's pastry game goes hard. I've never had donuts as fluffy and flavorful. 10/10, would recommend.” SentretSparkleypants
Movie theater food…
“A theatre where they serve you actual food (like pizza, not popcorn) inside the theatre, while sitting on a spacious reclining chair with a little mini table. Best experience watching a movie I've ever had and wish it was in my country (Kenya).” Odd_Inflation178
We are spoiled for cereal variety…
“Cereal! We don't have ANY good breakfast cereal in Nepal 😭 Only DUMB Kelloggs cornflakes and chocos. I want those sweet honey nut cheerios, colorful fruit loops, them flavorful cinnamon toast crunch, those amazing looking frosted mini-wheats. Just give us some variety!!” June_53
Accessible street food…
“Street food that doesn't cost ££££. I hate the fact that in the U.K. (esp. London/Birmingham etc.) 99% of street food is deemed to be as pretentious as possible. Just because food is inevitably sprinkled with Parmesan/Truffle Oil/Whatever DOES NOT MEAN its allowed to be charged as much as it is inside a restaurant.”
“No, I don't want a eat a 'secret spices' beef rib from a cardboard box with rosemary salted French fries for £14 in the rain. I'd much rather have a half-decent burrito for £4/5, thanks.” notprotonated
Thift shopping!Thrift Shop Television GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
“Thrifting, where I live the second hand shop are so rare and it takes hours to get there. Also big mall were there are 20 and more shops, near me(and with near I mean that I have to drive for 1 hour) there is only one, and they only make this kind of malls in the opposite side of my city because the center is untouchable.” Eastern-Honeydew-471
“Mexican food and restaurants. I live in a german town with around 20k people. We have 15 italian (though at least two of them only do delivery), 5 greek, 1 vietnamese, 1 chinese and 5 german restaurants. 4 turkish Döner Kebap stores and 2 greek Pytta Gyros ones, one McD and a Subway.”
“And a load of cafes and sit-down bakeries. Within a 25km radius there is just one mexican 'restaurant'. Which is basically a (fancy and quite expensive) bar that offers a very limited menu with mexican foods and one american Burger-restaurant that has some mexican stuff on its menu every once in a while, but not always.” quietschedalek
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Dream of the sea of lights, of the opportunities, the nightlife, and all of the things you've been dreaming of living in your adult life since you were a kid. Being in a city as an adult can afford you those opportunities.
But oftentimes the city will just afford you more expensive housing with no real way to keep up your standard and quality of life. Unless you make major budget cuts, you might often find yourself at odds with your own city, and growing to dislike it.
Sound familiar to anyone?
It certainly did to Redditor lookinsidemybrain1, who wanted to know:
"What city is overrated?"
Here were some of those answers.
"My best friend is from Philly, I'm from outside of Boston. We both met in Florida when we were teens and bonded over being the only two people who were hockey fans in the mid 80s."
"In 2010 we had a bet for the Flyers/Bruins series. Loser would have to pay for a trip to the winner's city to watch a game in their barn."
"Obviously the Bruins choked away that 3-0 lead and lost the series. So I had to pony up for the trip. My boy tells me he'd rather go to Boston and catch a game there and see the city."
"I said ok but the bet was going to the winner's city and I've never been to Philly. He says 'You don't want to go to Philly, it sucks...even I don't want to go there.' So we went to Boston and had a great time."-sebrebc
The Capital In A Few Ways
"I used to work an ambulance in Jackson, Mississippi. That city is not circling the drain. The water has drained and Jackson is stuck to the tub."
"It is a never ending cycle of poverty, corrupt city officials, fleeing businesses, and crime. Every city administration does nothing but pass blame."
"Some of the most atrocious things I have seen happened in Jackson MS, not 20 miles from my home, and I was in Afghanistan. Every shift was a shooting, an assault, an overdose, a fire standby, homeless and mental health calls."
"Many of the citizens live in absolute squalor. No businesses near them, no grocery stores, no opportunity. They can't afford cars and the public transit it is practically non-existent. You truly do not understand what poverty is until you see it."-[username deleted]
Rio De Goodbye
"Even us Brazilians don't consider going to Rio de Janeiro a good idea, unless you're sure that you know what you're doing (like going to the beaches outside of town)."
"In Brazil, the best places to visit are small towns. Big cities have crime and violence, and it's not safe to just hang around with expensive electronics."
"Brazil has thousands of small paradise places, either beaches, mountains, jungles or whatever. See, for example, Maragogi. Small towns are mostly safe, and 80% of Brazil's cities have less than 20,000 people."
"Hope you have a better experience in the next time."-rubenssm
See any place on this list you're now making a mental note to avoid?
Because Of The Car Industry, Margot
"San Jose. People come here thinking it's the silicon valley expecting to see all kinds of cool advanced stuff but it's just an urban sprawl."
"I know someone who came here from Shanghai and wanted to travel to San Francisco. She asked me why we don't have high speed bullet trains that will take us to the city in like 15 mins. I didn't know what to say."-Live_Mathematician99
"I live in L.A., and every time someone comes out to visit, they want to go to Hollywood to see the touristy stuff. I don't mind indulging them, but a a huge fan of movies and old Hollywood, etc., the real thing is insanely disappointing."
"It's filthy, crowded, smelly, and chock full of shysters and violent homeless people. I totally get going for the sake of going if you're visiting the area, but there are two things you should never do: wander off the main streets or hang around late at night."
"There are a lot of crazies down there who get stabby when the sun goes down."-WickedHello
"Dubai. What most people don't see is the fact that the majority of the city are slums where people don't even have running water."
"I remember visiting my cousin who lived there and while we were at the beach, whole families would use the showers there because they didn't have their own."-Flaky_Sandwich9353
"A photo that is still vividly in my mind is of Dubai. It shows the city boarder and how there are shacks literally on the other side."
"It's insane that UAE is one of the richest counties in the world but a large chunk of their people live in poverty to the extent that their homes do not have walls and ceilings."-CaptainF*ckAll
Let's Run Away....
"Atlantic City: A poor city with a poor population and all of its wealth coming from casinos, and casinos are depressing."-Topazz410
"I had to scroll way too far to see this. I don’t gamble so the casinos weren’t very exciting for me. The beach was pay to play and just a strip of sand with cold brown water."
"The boardwalk was good except it was the same exact merchandise in every 5th shop. We found one good restaurant and ate there daily. Left 2 days before our booking ended."-If_you_ban_me_I_win
And do you see any plans that you had on the back burner now fully making their way up?
The City Of Blues
"I've got such a great Memphis story. I've literally only been there once in my life and only for a couple of hours (aside from driving through it)."
"Over Christmas break 2004, I drove from east Tennessee to Abilene, TX to visit my sister. I drove back on New Year's Eve and at about 2:00am I got to Memphis."
"I decided I wanted to see the Mississippi River as I'd never been there before, so I pulled off the interstate and went to this very closed visitor's center on the river downtown. It's Tennessee, but it's still December, and it's cold. Maybe 40 outside."
"After using the bathroom, I walked down this path outside the visitors center that led along the river. I get maybe 100 yards down this not-illuminated path (again at 2:00am in downtown Memphis) and I notice there are these stairs that lead down toward the river. Awesome, I can see it up close! The stairs end at a tiny bank of dirt and then boom, there's the river."
"I start down these stairs and immediately realize, these are not like 'visitors, give these stairs a try' stairs. They are like 'these have been here for eight years and haven't been maintained in that time' stairs. I get about four stairs down and one of them gives way."
"In a split second, I am now sliding rapidly toward the Mississippi River in 40 degree weather with my flip phone in my pocket and absolutely no person who knows I am here and doing this. I make a mad scramble for anything I can reach for and by whatever providence, I grab a tree limb and stop the slide."
"I was able to get to my feet and realize that my shoes are wet. I was that close to ending up floating away down the Mississippi, probably drowning or freezing to death in the process. I can swim but come on."
"I regained my composure, crawled my way very, very slowly back up the bank, and got back in my car. That was arguably one of the dumbest things I've ever done in my life."-baltinerdist
A Piece Of Da Pisa
"I'm italian. I was planning a trip from the south to the north of Italy to take my car from my hometown to the city where I work, I was asking for advice about the cities to stop in for example Naples, Rome, Bologna, beautiful cities with many things to do and see."
"What about Pisa? Every single person I asked about told me to forget it. It is literally a hole with a crooked tower."
"'You look at it, take your picture and go away, but it's not worth the extra kilometers you would take for that detour.'"-FunnyPromise
No Infrastructure...Yeah, Im Good
"I think of all major American cities Los Angeles is the most overrated. It’s a cool place if you know someone who can show you around all the unique off the beaten path spots."
"But as a wandering, casual tourist who doesn’t have anyone in town you will spend a lot of time in traffic going to OK attractions."
"You're better off going to other California cities or visiting the beautiful nature the state has to offer then go to LA."-Amockdfw89
When looking for a place to live in this next stage of your life...buyer, beware. A city is only as good as it wants to be--so heed the warnings of others who have come before you.
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Have you ever wondered what job people would pick if they knew they'd be financially stable?
Not rich; we're not talking "retire-in-luxury to Buenos Aires" level coin; just comfortable and with growth potential if you're smart about things.
If any job in the world put you at the precipice of stability - what would you *choose* to do?
Reddit user "talldmbfan" asked:
"If you got to pick any career/job and earned $400,000 no matter what, what career/job would you pick?"
Ya know ... a $400k salary sounds like it could be a few smart money choices away from the very serious business of picking just the right pun for my new boat's name or whatever it is rich people do with their time. So let's start there.
What WOULD Reddit do for work if people actually got to choose? Let's find out.
Ranger DangerNational Park California GIF by Ovation TVGiphy
"Park ranger. Specifically at Banff National Park."
"Yeah, I was thinking the same. However, it’s becoming an increasingly dangerous job these days I have heard."
"One the one hand maybe it's just misbehaved tourists who are becoming increasingly obnoxious, and on the other hand hardened, armed criminals trying to do their business in private."
"Criminals like hiding in National Parks, feeding themselves by spotlighting game (whatever they can shoot they will shoot) and using gill nets to catch dozens and dozens of fish."
"Each ranger has a LOT of area to keep under control, it’s not unheard of to pull over a truck and 5+ guys come out, fully armed and it’s just you by yourself until backup arrives."
"Former Ranger here. The job and positions of a Park Ranger vary widely."
"It does have its perks and I really liked it, but it also sucks in ways and has big drawbacks. Humans are the worst animal to have to manage."
Effort And Criticismsacha baron cohen hotel GIFGiphy
"USD 400,000 per year, right? I’d say be a hotel / resort critic."
"That way I get to travel, stay comfortably & get paid for a rather (seemingly) low effort gig."
"I've been in travel positions before, it's pretty fun for a bit but as 'spoiled' as it sounds, hotel and restaurant living get tiring after a while."
"Sometimes it's better to just come home to your loved ones or pet or whatever."
"I did that while I was single. I don't have kids, but I can't imagine being in that type of role when you do."
"Being away from them plus putting the entire burden of raising children on your spouse? Not for me."
"I met a girl several months ago who is a travel journalist and gets paid to do this very thing!"
"While I do get envious of all her comped trips (since I met her several months ago she’s been on fully paid trips to Oaxaca, Curaçao, a couple of luxury Caribbean cruises and had to turn down a trip to the German Christmas markets) I get the impression her job is a lot more stressful than we’d all imagine."
"She says pretty much every minute of each trip is filled with activities she’s expected to write about with very little down time."
"She’s lived all over the world with her job but also never really put down any roots, so that’s a downside. Even so - I enjoy living vicariously through her travels!"
Let's Go LegoAwesome The Lego Movie GIF by TrolliGiphy
"Lego set designer"
"A LEGOland near me just posted a position for a master builder and i was like 'f*ck yeah!' ..."
"except that it pays $12/hour."
"Yeees! This has been my dream job since I was a kid. Only reason I’ve never pursued it is because it doesnt pay well."
"I didn’t even think of that!"
"My cousin and I love legos soooo much, I have that Disney castle set and we are constantly making the most random things. If I became the top set designer, there would be a lot more weird sets lol"
Helping Hoarderskhj GIFGiphy
"The same business I have now. I help the elderly and hoarders organize their homes. I quite a job that payed well and to do this and it is so rewarding."
"A simple tip: To maintain control over a hobby/collectables, designate a space for it. If it overflows that space, it is time to rethink the activity."
"It may mean finding a bigger space, or looking for outdated or unused items for that hobby. This helps to maintain control and keep the hobby from taking over."
"This one sparks joy!"
"I’d love to know more about this. I worry I’m a hoarder sometimes."
"I am not a psychologist so please take this with a grain of salt, but from my experience the term hoarder is often misused. Hopefully this will be helpful to you!"
"I have helped people who have ranged from perfectly normal to people with head trauma. Yes, they can all be categorized as different levels of hoarding, but I try and focus on the reason why they hoard, rather than the term itself."
"Customer 1: was a lady whose house was just a mess. Not disgusting, just nothing was organized. She had a lot going on and was feeling very overwhelmed and her place was taking a turn for the worst."
"She was a bit ashamed and kept indicating how she was a hoarder."
"In the end, over several sessions we cleared out the garage, the living room, the bedrooms, the dining room and never once did she hesitate to throw something away. She wasn't a hoarder, she was overwhelmed. So this was solely situational."
"Customer 2: Another lady, good friend of mine too, very much fit the typical hoarding situation. In her case she was just really bad at putting things away and thus everything ended up, everywhere."
"She still has this problem, but as long as I come over from time to time, stuff gets put away. She has been really good at throwing away or donating items, but she needs someone to sit down with her to help motivate her."
"Customer 3: A gentleman who was my inspiration to get into this business is probably the closest to the true nature of a hoarder."
"He received a blow to the head many years ago due to an accident. Because of that he has had difficulty staying on track. He looses focus frequently and thus things fall to the wayside."
"I go over from time to time to help him clean up. I will make him return stuff he buys when he really does not need it, because he easily becomes distracted. He forgets to return it or that he even bought it."
"I can get him to get rid of stuff, it just takes a good deal of prodding and coaxing."
"In the end, With all my customers I tell them to stop focusing on the negative. Don't worry if your a hoarder, rather spend that mental energy on what you can do to move forward."
"Tip: if you need an idea for a first step, Listen to a podcast or you tube video on organizing."
A Place For PassionNervous Season 6 GIF by Paramount+Giphy
"I’d want to own studio space where people could take classes, not just art or dancing but also like general hobbies to knitting, sculpting, writing, photography."
"I want to help people find a passion and explore it. And I’d be able to support others by paying them to teach their own passion."
"Look into maker spaces or hacker spaces. That literally exactly what they are!"
"I've seen them have facilities and classes ranging from running a cnc machine to beer brewing to programming."
"Membership is typically expensive (50-200 a month) but most give discounts or free membership for teaching classes.
Keep in mind I don't know if they are running with covid."
"There's a place near me called Handmade Toledo that does this!"
"The front of the building is a storefront where local artists, makers, and crafters can sell their stuff (anything from t-shirts and cards to candles and soaps, including snarky greeting cards and patches)."
"The back of the building is an events space where they have classes a few times a week, and a big event once or twice a year where more artisans come and sell their stuff."
Dungeons, Dragons, And Daycare?how to train your dragon smile GIFGiphy
"I would run Dungeons and Dragons campaigns for k-6 graders to teach them about problem solving and conflict negotiation."
"I use D&D to teach conversation strategies and cross-cultural communication to Japanese university students and it’s f*cking great."
"I think every pre-school/lower school should hire you, this is a fantastic idea to implement those values while having fun!"
"One of our friends runs dnd campaigns for kids as a way for them to work through their trauma."
"I don't know all the ins and outs, but it seems to help them. My husband has a 3D printer so he prints their mini figs for them."
OK Go Away NowSeason 5 April GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy
"I’d like people to enjoy my work, but otherwise forget about me and leave me alone."
"I went to a lecture given by Andy Weir once and he said that writing is a great way to be famous because you’re famous for a few weeks when they make a movie out of your book and you get invited to parties and stuff and it’s a lot of fun, but then you get to go back to civilian life rather quickly because everyone forgets about you pretty fast."
"So you get a taste of the celebrity life every now and then but you’re not stuck in the spotlight all the time like someone in the film or music industries."
"I second this! Reclusive writer would seriously be an awesome job to have and make $400,000 doing."
"A mysterious person that everybody knows by what you do; but whose identity is unknown because all you put are your initials, rather than your full name? Before you know it, you're both the most famous yet unknown person that everybody is talking about."
Here Kitty Kittycat lady cats GIFGiphy
"Cat rescue and rehabilitation. I do it for free when I can, so it would be awesome to be paid for it and have actual resources."
"My family used to do this as well and it was so much fun growing up with up to a dozen cats in a town house at a time."
"Had a friend who co-owned a rescue. It’s good work but man was there so much drama from cat people. Half of her energy was spent managing different crazy personalities who volunteered."
"She ended up stepping down to a smaller role and opening a cat cafe."
Masters With No Moneyshocked oh my GIFGiphy
"Librarian. Let me teach all about and facilitate the free borrowing of books while arranging events and services that help bind and strengthen the community."
"I would do it if librarian pay could support even myself decently. A lot of public service jobs (like librarians and teachers amongst others) do not pay very well and it can be hard to support yourself on such a salary, let alone a family if you want to have one."
"Still, if the issue of being able to live on the salary is taken out of the equation, I would choose to be a librarian every time."
"Oh man, my mom was a librarian and it is a real calling for some and I so love and respect that."
"Librarians are amazing!!!!"
"This was absolutely my first thought as well."
"I was halfway to a master's degree in library science when I did several shadow sessions. Everyone I talked to had gone to school for library science and was working part time shelving books and waiting for a librarian position to open up. Unless I was willing to move, it really didn't seem like a good option."
"It's a profession where the expectation is to have a masters degree and the pay scale for the vast majority of positions does not reflect that."
"I AM a librarian and it would still be my answer for this thread, but you'll often get that because you have to want to do this job to do it for the kinds of pay you can expect."
"I'm just lucky I'm in an academic position rather than public as that tends to set the starting pay a bit higher."
What's Up, Wonka?Animated GIFGiphy
"Ice cream truck driver, but everything is $1 or less. Or maybe running a candy shop."
"While I’m at my mentally draining job, I dream of just being able to make people smile, but I just can’t afford to live on the money that provides."
"There was this man who had an ice-cream truck that went around my neighborhood (I lived near a small park) and he was so nice. He couldn’t speak English well, but he just radiated a warmth around him that can never be bought or sold."
You know what Reddit would do, but what about you? If you had enough money to be comfortable, what job would you happily get up and go do?
Is there a job you wouldn't do even if someone offered you a $400k salary?
What's your labor worth? Let's talk about it, fam.
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We can't explain many people's actions, especially if they are peculiar.
But as long as whatever activity they're engaged in isn't hurting anybody, as well as themselves, who are we to judge?
Ah, but plenty of us will silently be judgy.
Some of the activities unfolding before us can be outright bonkers, and we just have to wonder what makes them do the things they do.
Curious to hear about how others might be perceived in public for doing certain activities, Redditor LordP*yF*ker asked:
"What’s legal but if you do it you still look like a psychopath?"
Why anyone would do the following is anybody's guess, but at least the question was answered.
They've Gotta Latte Nerve
"Going to Starbucks and ordering a milk with ice."
Going Nowhere Fast
"walking backwards in public."
"So I saw this couple walking backwards down the middle of my street and thought 'huh weird.'"
"Looked out the window 1 minute later and there they were again walking backwards in the same spot."
"Went to the kitchen window and again walking backwards, but I had never seen them walk forwards to get back to that position."
"At this point I think I'm stuck in a time loop. I show my roommate to prove I'm not crazy and this time we see them walk forwards back to the top of the street. So we watch them for several cycles just walking forwards, then backwards, up and down the street, just holding casual conversation."
"Figure it must be a workout routine or something but wtf..."
What's Up, Doc?
"Paint yourself orange, dye your hair green, stand in a hole and pretend your a carrot."
Reach For The Sky
"Flying a kite at night."
"Working out in a suit."
"I had a classmate who did phys ed (also) in a suit. He only had suits, about 20 times the very same outfit, including shoes and ties."
Could something more sinister be at work here?
After all, these activities are NOT illegal, right?
Midnight In The Garden Of Evil
"Digging holes in your backyard at night."
"Just doing some night digging."
"Wearing the skin of a roast chicken like a mask."
Here's A Treat
"Offering candies to kids with a van with homemade logos."
"Wearing a wedding gown to someone else's wedding."
"In pakistani culture its perfectly normal to wear your own wedding gown to someone elses wedding. The gowns are very color full and heavily embroidered."
Just because it's a preference doesn't mean you won't get an awkward reaction.
"Pulling your pants/underwear all the way down to pee at a men’s urinal."
"I knew a kid in elementary school who did this. Normally he would use the stalls but one time he did it at the urinal and yelled 'oops I'm not in the stall' then turned and made and held eye contact when I looked cause he yelled."
Look Ma, No Hands
"Eating in public without using your hands at all."
"Like... just face first?"
"Eating a banana with the skin on."
As a subway commuter in Gotham City, I've seen my fair share of crazy on the train.
From unprovoked altercations, to riders taking up precious sitting real estate by spreading their legs wide open, there are many offenses committed by strap-hangers all the time.
My biggest complaint is a common one and it happens as I try to exit the train and my path is blocked by commuters standing on the platform who are simultaneously rushing to get in.
It happened very recently where a guy was standing directly in front of me, and he refused to step out of the way.
I asked him, "so are you just going to stand there?" His choice to stand on solid ground gave me my answer and I aggressively nudged him out of the way with my shoulder.
I didn't have patience for it, because like many of us stepping out of the train, we had places to go.
That being said, I don't highly recommend what I did. As I said earlier, I've seen my fair share of crazy on the train and you never know who you're going to piss off.
I can't wait to be a car-owner again someday.
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