Being a police officer can be a pretty scary job at times. Officers just never know what you're going to run into, so they're always on high alert.
But do they ever expect to run into the paranormal?
No, not really. Until it happens, of course, as we learned after Redditor Boert9 asked the online community: "Law Enforcement of Reddit, what was the most scary/paranormal call you have responded to?"
Warning: Some sensitive reading material ahead.
"Once we arrived..."
GiphyI am a police officer working on an emergency response team on a busy London borough. We took a call to a suspected domestic incident in a block of flats. The informant said that she could hear screaming and sounds of disturbance coming from the flat above her own.
Once we arrived my colleague and I knocked on the door of the flat the informant said the noise was coming from. I had heard nothing on my way up and certainly couldn't hear any disturbance coming from the address. To be honest I heard nothing at all. After knocking twice we had no response. My colleague left me to go downstairs and speak directly to the informant.
I stayed by the door. I knocked again and after some time it was answered by an elderly woman. She had clearly been asleep and was alarmed to see me standing outside. I told her that someone had called saying that they could hear a disturbance coming from within her address. I asked her if there was anyone else inside with her. She looked bemused and told me that she lived alone and had been sleeping. I asked her if I could come in to satisfy myself that no one else was there.
She invited me in and I walked into what was a small 2 bedroom flat. The flat was in darkness apart from her hall light and her bedside lamp. I began searching through the flat. As I approached the final door (the living room) my colleague called me up on the radio. He told me that he was on his way and asked if I was okay. I told him everything was fine wondering why he sounded so flustered. He told me that he was with the informant and could also hear screaming and loud thuds coming from the flat I was in.
I told him that he must be mistaken as I was almost done searching the flat and that I had heard nothing whatsoever. I have to admit a feeling of unease as I opened the final door. Like all the other rooms it was in darkness but was freezing cold. My breath misted immediately. There was no one in the room and no signs of disturbance. No window was open. I called my colleague and asked him to listen out for my footfall. He said he could hear my feet as I stamped them but said that the screaming had stopped. This coincided with me opening the door. I left shortly after apologising to the elderly woman for waking her.
I have no rational explanation for this at all. My colleague and I left feeling very creeped out.
Late evening maybe a decade ago, I ended up running silent to a call with additional units in tow. The caller reported hearing "footsteps" on her second floor when she was in the kitchen. She lived alone, middle aged, divorced, no kids, and had no expected company. She is outside across the street when we arrive, obviously unnerved and being calmed by her neighbor.
Other units showed up almost as I did and set up a perimeter at the corners of the property. We talk with her, get permission to enter, so we decide we'll announce ourselves and clear the house. Three of us stack up on the front door, announce and make entry while the other officers are viewing the windows from a distance under concealment. She was in the midst of making a really late dinner so the house smells really good. I remember how good it smelled. Anyway, we clear the ground level and make our way to the stairs when we hear it.
Obviously footsteps on the wood floors above us. Not a panicky "oh shit I'm caught footsteps" and running to hide or escape, no, these were calm, methodic and almost pace like. We announce ourselves again and no response, except the pacing just starts to sorta fade away. Quietly I make my way up the steps, adrenaline pumping, and concentrating on pieing the corner at the top. I stop a few stairs shy of the corner, breathe, and proceed up.
"The hallway..."
The hallway at the top was pitch black and after successfully clearing the top/ corner we make our way down the hallway clearing rooms. Nothing. Nobody. Not even a critter. Not that any critter would ever make what I describe as human footsteps on hardwood. After the initial search, a few of the other officers involved also checked every nook and cranny, bed, closet, rack, hell, even the washer, dryer, appliances and cupboards were thoroughly searched. Nothing was out of order. Nobody was hiding anywhere.
Eventually we invite the lady back into her residence and reassure her that there was nobody in there and we equated her noise to maybe wood shrinkage or expansion in the home.
None of the officers outside and after our initial search had seen anybody leave the top or bottom floors or windows. The house had no indications that anybody tried to force open a window or door.
I stayed behind for about 30 minutes once the other officers cleared the call and waited while her friend showed up to stay the night with her. I went over basic security measures with her and double checked all her windows and doors were not compromised. She fed me well done lasagna as I waited, and to this day, I'm convinced that I interacted with another dimension of life that day.
"Anyways, I approached Lucy..."
About 4 years ago, a lady who I'll call Lucy, called our non-emergency line and said she locked herself out of her house. I responded to take the report in case FD needed to force entry.
I arrived first and immediately noticed a burning candle and some "jesusy" statues in the upstairs window. The light in this room was also on. I can't explain it, but it seemed a bit odd to me.
Anyways, I approached Lucy who appeared to be about 65 years old, and asked what happened. She said she walked to her car to get groceries for her and her mother but forgot her keys inside and the door had locked behind her. I asked if her mother was home and Lucy replied in the affirmative. Lucy went on to say she technically lived alone because her mom died 6 years prior but she still "lives" with her in the bedroom with the lit candle and makes her presence known by turning on/off lights, opening/closing doors, and turning on the bathroom faucet.
I then walked the perimeter of the home and found an unlocked window into the kitchen. Since Lucy never actually left home and knew no one else was inside, I radioed dispatch and climbed in through the window with her consent.
As my boot touched the kitchen floor, I heard an audible click. At the same time, the lights in the stairway and upstairs hallway to my left turned off. I quickly walked to the rear sliding door to my right and advised Lucy what had happened. Lucy laughed and said that was just her mom saying hello. I told Lucy that although I genuinely believe what she told me was true, I still had to do my due diligence and ensure no one else was inside. I radioed for a back and within minutes my buddy arrived. The first thing he asked about was the lit candle in the window.
While clearing the upstairs, we came upon the room where the candle was and immediately noticed it was blown out. There were no open windows, fans, vents, or other obvious source that could've extinguished the flame. We just looked at each other with a bit of unease and went back downstairs to leave. click the upstairs lights turned off behind us. We talked to Lucy for another 5 minutes and suggested getting a battery operated candle just to be safe....
Well Lucy clearly thought "f--- the police" because to this day, that candle burns in the open window most nights when I drive by. And every now and then I'll stop and talk to Lucy to see how she and her mother are doing.
"Early in my career..."
Early in my career, the elevators in the older section of CIA Headquarters (known as the Original Headquarters Building or OHB) were known to have quirks (I think they still do). Occasionally, the elevator would stop and the doors would open at a floor with no one there, and no one on the elevator had requested that floor.
I heard second-hand that the "thing to do" when that happened was to say "Good day, Mr. Director," because it was assumed that the doors opened for the ghost of Allen Dulles. OHB was his project, as many know, but he never was able to move into his office, having been replaced as CIA Director just before it was ready.
"I've been in law enforcement..."
I've been in law enforcement for several years now. I serve a small, rural town. During the summer of 2015, I had one of my most unsettling experiences.
That evening my partner and I were called to investigate a potential trespasser on some residential property out in the sticks. A young girl, about fifteen or sixteen years old, had called 911 and reported that a person wearing a clown costume was loitering around her backyard. I'll refer to her as Sara. She was extremely frightened when we arrived. Her mother had to work late that night, so Sara was home alone.
She explained that a tall person in a clown costume had repeatedly emerged from the woods in her backyard. She first saw him when she went to let her dog out. He was peering at her from behind a tree, beckoning her to come over. "I could hear him laughing," she said. She ran inside with her pet, locked the door, and immediately called 911. She watched from a window as the clown reappeared several times from the woods, exhibiting erratic behavior.
She described the clown's appearance as "really scary," not at all like the silly, colorful characters typically seen. He had a quintessential red nose, but wore a dark-colored jumpsuit. She thought his face was painted white with dark shapes around his eyes. No hair or head accessories, according to her.
After investigating inside the home, we checked the perimeter of the house. My partner stayed behind to monitor the doors while I approached the tree line. No sooner than I shined my flash light into the woods that I heard the sounds of snapping tree limbs, as if someone was walking through the forest about twenty yards away. I called out, announcing myself as a police officer—no response, no more sounds.
Not sure what we were dealing with, we did not venture into the woods. It was the middle of the night with limited visibility. I focused my attention on investigating the property for anything suspicious while my partner patrolled around the house. Nothing of interest was found.
Over the next couple of months, our department received several more calls about clown sightings. Not only did these sightings occur within a five mile radius of each other, but all of them were reported by young people. Because it's a small community, we initially thought this was all some kind of prank/hoax orchestrated by a bunch of bored kids. These kids, however, seemed genuinely frightened upon investigation and their descriptions were consistent. We really didn't know what to think.
No one or nothing was ever found in these cases, with the exception of one. Around sunset one evening, we received a phone call from an elderly woman I'll call Helen. She was a sweet lady who played the organ at a church in town. Although she was devoutly religious, like the kind of person who'd quote scripture in the middle of a conversation, she meant well.
Anyways, Helen called and said that her grandson (whom she was raising) saw a clown in their yard. She was concerned and wanted the police to investigate. Her grandson was only five and getting details out of him proved difficult. In a rather matter-of-fact kind of way, Helen said, "Officer, those clowns are devil worshippers. I know it because right after my grandson saw that clown, my mother's nutcracker—that one right there on top of the fireplace—fell and broke. I've been praying hard ever since." Sure enough, her nutcracker was broken into two pieces. I did an internal eye roll and redirected the conversation.
"Let me walk outside and check things out," I said. Helen followed behind me as we walked out the backdoor. Everything was still and quiet. I asked if there were any places on the property where someone could hide. She said there was an old, overgrown shed about a hundred yards behind her house. I radioed in for support, and another officer arrived soon after.
Thankfully it was a lightly wooded area so the shed was easy enough to find. It was quite dilapidated and half falling down. The door was slightly ajar. We called out but there wasn't a response. We had flash lights in our left hands and our right hands on our weapons. The door creaked open and slowly we walked in. There was no one inside.
Besides old, rusty farm equipment, we noticed a couple of strange items scattered around the floor. The first thing we saw was a brass cow figurine. Second, we found a bible with burn marks all over it. We later learned the entire book of Leviticus had been torn out.
Helen adamantly swore she had no idea who the items belonged to or why they were in that shed. The whole thing was very overwhelming for her. We brought the items to the station but nothing ever surfaced. That was the last clown sighting. Maybe it was a series of pranks, an odd fad that came and went. Whatever the case, it all sticks out to me as something incredibly strange. I always feel uneasy whenever I think about those events.
"A few weeks ago..."
A few weeks ago I'd gotten dispatched to a 911 call that involved a female frantically screaming at the dispatcher "she's going to kill me, she's going to kill me! Come quick I'm at [address of where she was at]!"
Naturally, every unit within range of my sector and myself had radioed in a response and we were all hauling ass to get there. Once we got there we discovered the house was abandoned for some years now and so we set a cordon around with officers watching all exits, as my shift partner, myself and a female officer announced ourselves and made entry into the residence.
We cleared all of the first floor and proceeded to the second and as soon as we got to the top of the stairs a slight movement spooked us and me and my partner immediately raised our weapons into a room where there was only a noose. Both he and I thought we saw a body on it at first glance, there was nothing there. We cleared the rest of the second floor and took a closer look at the noose, some dried up blood and what i think was peeled off skin on it from an earlier suicide that occurred over a dozen years ago, we thought it might've been recent, but we didn't know at the time.
Anyways, immediately after we cleared the house we determined that it was way too dead, for lack of a better word, to have been used recently however we called in some detectives. But before we all stepped out, we all agreed we didn't see what just happened. Reason why is my Service has a policy on what could be constituted as "paranormal instances", where the second something like that happens you are immediately suspended from duty, and give in your badge, your gun, your duty belt and your vest. Before being taken on the spot to a psychiatrist/psychologist, for a full comprehensive evaluation. Needless to say I immediately called my supervisor at the end of shift and told him about it and did the right thing by going in for evaluation. Something to be said about integrity.
I've driven past that house multiple times in the past weeks and I've always sunk deeper into my seat as I've driven past. Something about it, it's like you could actually feel there was something off about it. City seems to agree with me, as of 3 days ago the house is the #1 demolition priority in my sector and will be down by the end of the month. I'm just not happy that I'm going to have to go back inside next week to collect anything that might be of interest to both the city and my superiors. Luckily I won't be going in alone.
Also, the female who called in the 911 call was charged for Public Mischief under the pretext of misuse of 911 and misleading Peace Officers.
"It's probably drug related..."
Not really scary, but possibly paranormal, and a case I was never able to solve.
Three years ago, I was called in to an investigation of a burglary in a cemetery. When the forensics guys and I finally went out there (it was a slow morning), none of the responding deputies had actually gone inside yet. Four deputies and a sergeant were busy "securing the scene" from the outside, because it was still dark out and they didn't want to go into the dark mausoleum that had been broken into. Apparently they felt much safer with us overweight non-sworn employees around, so we went inside together.
The exterior door to the mausoleum had been forced open, and we started looking around for signs of anything stolen or vandalized. Eventually we did find that one of the grave sites in the mausoleum, almost 15 feet off the ground, had the cement plaque shattered and the coffin was pulled out and left sprawling on the floor. All contents of the coffin were missing, which including the cremated remains of three people, the last one who died in 2004. A person would have had to bring their own ladder to pull this out, or been at least 12-13 feet tall.
According to the forensics guy, it looked like the plaque for the coffin had been shattered from the inside, due to water damage. Still, it seems oddly coincidental that a plaque would simultaneously break on the night of a break-in to the mausoleum. It hadn't been accessed since 2004, so almost twelve years prior. The people in the grave site had a single living relative. I called them, exchanged pleasantries, and then when I asked about the mausoleum they said "No habla English" and hung up.
It's probably drug related, somehow, but this is the exactly the kind of thing that would happen at the start of a vampire or zombie apocalypse movie.
"When you step inside..."
There is this abandoned day care that we have to patrol...VERY spooky. Temperature is different in each room. Sounds can be heard. Toys found in the roof panels...sometimes those toys are seen moved from the roof to the floor in the rooms. Some rooms have more pressure than others like being at the bottom of a swimming pool. When you step inside all you want to do is leave..some said a child died at that daycare...
"I have no rational explanation..."
I am a police officer working on an emergency response team on a busy London borough. We took a call to a suspected domestic incident in a block of flats. The informant said that she could hear screaming and sounds of disturbance coming from the flat above her own.
Once we arrived my colleague and I knocked on the door of the flat the informant said the noise was coming from. I had heard nothing on my way up and certainly couldn't hear any disturbance coming from the address. To be honest I heard nothing at all. After knocking twice we had no response. My colleague left me to go downstairs and speak directly to the informant.
I stayed by the door. I knocked again and after some time it was answered by an elderly woman. She had clearly been asleep and was alarmed to see me standing outside. I told her that someone had called saying that they could hear a disturbance coming from within her address. I asked her if there was anyone else inside with her. She looked bemused and told me that she lived alone and had been sleeping. I asked her if I could come in to satisfy myself that no one else was there.
She invited me in and I walked into what was a small 2 bedroom flat. The flat was in darkness apart from her hall light and her bedside lamp. I began searching through the flat. As I approached the final door (the living room) my colleague called me up on the radio. He told me that he was on his way and asked if I was okay. I told him everything was fine wondering why he sounded so flustered. He told me that he was with the informant and could also hear screaming and loud thuds coming from the flat I was in.
I told him that he must be mistaken as I was almost done searching the flat and that I had heard nothing whatsoever. I have to admit a feeling of unease as I opened the final door. Like all the other rooms it was in darkness but was freezing cold. My breath misted immediately. There was no one in the room and no signs of disturbance. No window was open. I called my colleague and asked him to listen out for my footfall. He said he could hear my feet as I stamped them but said that the screaming had stopped. This coincided with me opening the door. I left shortly after apologising to the elderly woman for waking her.
I have no rational explanation for this at all. My colleague and I left feeling very creeped out.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.