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Police Officers Divulge The Weirdest Things People Have Done In Their Backseat

Police Officers Divulge The Weirdest Things People Have Done In Their Backseat

You're under arrest.

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But somehow it doesn't stop there. People get crazy while handcuffed in the back of squad cars... and police officers are over it.

So u/pimphatmanatee asked the Police officers of Reddit to unload some of their stories:

Police officers of Reddit, what is the weirdest thing someone has done in the back of your squad car?

Here were some of the answers.

Extreme

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My buddy works a different section than me. Anyways, he books a guy for Public Intox, homeless dude acting a fool. While driving to the magistrates, he sees the dude hunched over crying from the backseat camera. He asked him whats wrong and the guy says he doesn't feel well and he needs EMS. My buddy stops and opens the back seat and blood in running down his leg. My buddy, thinking this dude has a laceration or something starts to get out his tourniquet for his leg. Unbuckles him, and tries to get his pants off only to see that its no cut and blood is discharging from his penis. My buddy is in shock and calls for EMS immediately.

On Ice

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My brother is a cop. Had a female stash her iPhone in her vagina so they couldn't go through her call records (I forget why) while in his car. Took a female officer an hour to retrieve it. Suspect sneezed and it went skidding across the floor. Was bagged for evidence.

Nappin' Kids

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Sheriff Deputy here. I arrested a one arm sex worker and forgot to take her phone away so while on our way to jail she called 911 to say she was being kidnapped. Dispatch told the entire county what's up (while laughing) and that was embarrassing to explain to everyone after I got back.

Le PuPu

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I have a patient who is a cop. Apparently there's a lot of pooping happening in the back of police cars.

Ummmmmm....

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Local town PoPo here. I work in municipality of about 8000 residents and we run usually 2-3 coppers to a shift. It's not a crazy busy town but we have our nutty calls. Anyways, we are supposed to have an animal control guy who is sent to catch all the runaway dogs in town. At the time he was out on medical leave for rolling his ankle while attempting to lasso a raccoon. In his absence, us patrolmen are supposed to respond and catch all the loose doggos.

On this particular day I had been called to a cute black and white Pitbull male adult by the name of Viking running rampant in our town. I locate him and he was just so happy see me, wagging his tale and licking like there was no tomorrow. He had dog tags with an address and number, so he hopped in the back of my car as mah new k-9 pal and we where off to reunite him with his family.

Just as we pull off we get an all hands on deck call of a drunk female battering a shop clerk and trashing his store because he won't sell her alcohol. So with Viking riding In the back, I hit the ole cherries and berries and we take off to assist my partner who had already been close to the call.

As I arrived my partner had already taken her out of the store and put her in handcuffs. She was still upset crying and screaming about how she didn't do anything (clearly). I take a peek inside to see his store utterly trashed, beef jerky and chips ahoy thrown about. Shelving and fixtures completely ripped down and destroyed. Sometime during the altercation little pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream had been thrown as our drunken lady offender was covered in what I thought to be "chubby hubby".

Anyways, just being my partner and I on the street, he had to stay back and get the info for the report, while I had to transport our Peanutty-pretzel ice cream covered arrestee.

At this point our arrestee has calmed down enough for her to cooperate with me and willingly walk to my squad car. Having no other option and Viking being the friendliest good boi there was, I buckled our drunken lady in right next to Viking. She seemed happy with Viking and of course Viking was all about making a new friend. All was right in the world. I turn my camera on as I do with all my transports, and let her know she's being recorded.

As I'm driving back to the station (about a 10 minute ride) it starts to get weird. As all good dogs like ice cream, Viking was no different. He began to lick the ice cream off of my arrestee. No big deal, I look back in the mirror to see Viking cleaning up our offender and she seems to not mind. In fact she seemed to really enjoy it.

Then she starts really enjoying it. I look back in the mirror to see Viking licking the inside of my arrestees mouth with my arrestee straight French kissing my pitty.

Nope! I pull the car over and let Viking out to ride shotgun. He hops out happy as a clam and licking his chops as he got his ice cream fill. My arrestee is laughing in the backseat. I transported her to the station. I then dropped Viking off at his dog parents house. I decided not to let them know about his little excursion. Probably for the best.

Viking still escapes and runs around town every once in awhile, but now I just give him a few pets and bring him straight home.

Possession

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Not a cop, guess I have to a be a robber... my best friend, boyfriend and I take some LSD after school one Friday night. Something was laced with it. Watched my face melt for awhile in the bathroom mirror, had relations with my boyfriend in the back of his car, enjoyed the black and white checkered tornado above his head, kept repeating "help Henry, my elbows are shaking" (don't know anyone named Henry), he thought I was crazy so he stripped down, ran 12 blocks to the local "crazy hospital" (was actually a huge concert arena) to check me in as a patient, no one answered so he threw rocks through a window. True love. Cops came and got him. Meanwhile, my bestie discovered a stray kitten and sat outside petting that thing for hours. I decided barbs were coming out of my skin, so in order to save my clothes, I took them off and buried them. Naked, covered in dirt, immune to temperature, I decide to knock on all the doors of the apartment complex because the knocks each made a wah-wah-wah reverb sound. Cops get called on my naked a**. Cat lady friend and naked me get thrown into the back of the cruiser while they sort out wtf is going on with these teenagers. She had a lighter. Decided I was evil. Lit my hair on fire. Spent the next few hours tied to a gurney in the padded room at the hospital. I was an upper-middle class, straight A student. My poor parents thought I was possessed. Good times.

Conspiracy

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Alright, so a bit of a switch here. I was in the back of the car, cuffed and everything, but if you've ever been arrested you know they do that thing every 30 seconds or so where they look in the mirror to make sure you're not planning anything, and I wasn't having a great day but still had enough humour to know what the I was about to do for the 40 min car ride......

Officer looks back;

wink

Officer checks again, presumably confused;

winks one eye at a time (The signature cultist blink)

Officer, now concerned

This went on for 40 minutes, keep in mind he was probably new on the job, he looked about 25-30 and I was a 17 year old girl, just silently sitting and winking.

Pez

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To make a long story short:

A guy on hallucinogenic drugs had taken a whole lot of viagra thinking it was Pez. Cuffed him and had him in the back of the car, which he thought was a limo, and he was trying to get his arms either under or over his body. He was high enough that I was kinda worried he'd succeed and fracture/dislocate something in the process, but we already had him strapped in as much as we could and decided to book it back to the station.

Projectile

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Best friends a cop. Actual text I received:

"Dude. We just arrested some guy with no legs in a wheelchair. We got him in the back of the squad car. While we did he proceeded to pee himself. Not sure how he managed this. I hate people."

Oodles Of Poodles

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So about 2 years ago My friend and I were hanging out when he started telling me this crazy story that happened with him and his mom the day prior

Well, My friend's mom was walking her two dogs in a lesser than nice part but not the worst part of LA when this older disheveled woman came up and started petting the dogs and talking about how much she loved them, after about 10 mins of them talking she tried to steal these two giant poodles and my friend immediately called the cops.

After a 15 minute struggle between my friends mom and this woman the police came because someone called the cops. They arrested the woman who, when she got into the back of the car, decided to start pleasure herself...

The Gross Scale

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Took a really drunk guy to the hospital after spending some time in our holding cells. Dude, spit a giant puddle of loogies on my plastic seat. I asked him to clean it up, intending him to wipe it up with his sweat pants. Instead he bent down and zamboni'd (sucked up the spit) with his mouth. On the scale of gross things i've seen this is pretty minor.

Buried Treasure

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Around 1981-1982 I got a job at car wash in NJ. It was full service: you pull up and get out. We would vacuum, prep, put the car on the line, then dry it at the end, and off you go. We did a lot of cop cars.

As a n00b, my co-workers told me to always check deep in the rear seat cushions because sometimes you get "treasure". When cops busted people, they would check the rear seats but often did a mere cursory check. So sometimes treasure would be stuck in there really deep.

So, my first cop car to vacuum, I ran my fingers deep in the rear seat cushions. BAM! I felt something. A baggie. I fished it out and surreptitiously put it in my pocket (the cops were watching from behind window glass). At my break, I checked it out: a baggie with five joints! Free! For me!

That was a good night. Cop car treasure!

Confessions

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Schizophrenic having a personality crisis admitting another personality killed his mom.

Yeah...that s*** will mess with you.

Le PePe

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Got arrested for drinking at a party when I was 17. I told the cops before they cuffed me and threw me in the car that I really had to pee but they didn't wanna let me use the bathroom (found out later it was because they thought I was going to flush drugs down the toilet) so while cuffed I somehow managed to pull my pants down to my knees from behind. Leaned over and peed all over the floor of the back seat. Ended up getting in more trouble for that than drinking in the first place.

Funny thing is I found out a year or 2 later that the cop who was driving me back at the time lives 3 blocks away from me and is actually a pretty chill guy. Now I'm 21 and we hang out at the bar sometimes and laugh about the story.

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.