Ahh, the good old fashion pizza delivery. Which might, in fact, be one of the greatest inventions ever (since the internet, of course). Why travel all the way to a pizza store when you can have a hot and freshly baked pizza delivered right to your doorstep in less than 30 minutes.
Although, if you are anything like me you'd hope for free pizza in which case the pizza guy shows up after the allotted delivery time - I digress. This article includes responses from pizza deliverers responding to the AskReddit questions, "do you have any ridiculous pizza delivery stories?" and "pizza deliverers of Reddit, what's the most awkward situation you've ever been in at someone's doorstep?"
If you're interested, take a look at the original source threads at the end of the article. Also, try to avoid craving a delicious pizza while reading this as I did while writing.
In my first month delivering pizzas as an awkward teenager in suburban San Diego, I pulled up to a house and got out, toting 5 pizzas to the door of a very unassuming house. As I approached the door, I could see someone turn off the lights to the front room and I got a bit scared. I had heard the stories of drivers getting jumped and robbed of their tip money so instantly my mind goes to that. I walk slowly to the door and ring the bell. After a few seconds, I hear somebody behind the door ask, "How old are you?" I answered, "Pizza Hut..." Then I heard some muffled laughing. The woman again asks, "How OLD are you?" Reluctantly, I answer, "eighteen?" The door opens slowly and a woman is standing there completely naked with her hands outstretched. My jaw must have hit the ground. Then a flash of light from a camera behind her and a room full of guys bursts into laughter. Turns out it was a bachelor party. I got a good laugh but never did see the pic that was taken.
I started working at a pizzeria about a month ago. I do other stuff too but for the most part, I do the deliveries. Today I was delivering pizza to, as I had gathered when the order was called in, a babysitter and the kid she was watching. The kid's parents paid for it in advance and included a tip. So I bring the pizza to the house, ring the bell, and a fairly attractive female who looked about my age answered. I gave her the pizza and said everything was taken care of. She said something along the lines of "Did they include a tip when they paid?" and I said yeah and have a good night, and started to walk towards my car when I hear "Wait...how about another tip? I need help with something inside..." She had a sort of mischievous, "I know this is crazy" kind of look on her face. Just as I'm about to respond to her, a car pulls into the driveway. It's the parents, they're home early. She dashes inside without saying a word. I'll probably never see her again.
We got the Domino's guy to do a kegstand before we paid for the pizza, then he came back after his shift was over and got obliterated, not to mention he brought 4 free pizzas with him.
I had a pizza delivery guy break down out front of my apartment. He came back and rang the doorbell after about 10 minutes of trying to start his car, and asked if he could use my phone to call the store and tell them what happened. It was really cold so I invited him in and we ended up talking and eating pizza for two hours while we waited for the store to call a tow truck. He had just immigrated from Bangladesh and was having a very hard time away from his family - who were still waiting on visa's to come over. Long story short, I ended up becoming friends with him, helping him with his visa issues, helping him find a better apartment and meeting his wife and children when they eventually arrived fro Bangladesh. I still talk to him.
I ordered a pizza when I was in college, at probably 1:30 or 2 AM after my friends and I had gotten home from the bar.
So I put the call in for a large cheese pizza, and about 20 minutes later, my doorbell rings. I open the door, and the delivery guy is standing there, looking like he's so high he can't even think. The dude's eyes were like...blood red slits. It was crazy. The amount of weed he smoked must have been unbelievable. So he hands over the pizza box, and I open it, and there are two slices missing! So I look directly at the guy, and go "Dude...this isn't even a whole pizza!".
And he just goes - "Man...that's our Pac-Man special pizza, dude..."
Then we both cracked up, and he left after forgetting to collect my money.
I delivered for a pizza shop throughout high school and college. Two stories stand out:
Delivered a pie to this guy at a local hotel. He opens the door all the way and I peep his friend laying on the bed under the covers and appears to be stroking himself. The guy at the door asks me to put the pizza on the desk in the room. I promptly place it at his feet outside the door and request to be paid. He gives me two twenties and says "there's more where that came from." I say "no thanks," and leave without even asking if he wanted his change. Was like a 15 dollar tip too.
Was delivering 5 extra large pies to a crappy neighborhood and discover that the address I have is bogus. I turn the car around and prepare to leave and chalk it up as a prank when a guy approaches and asks if I have the 5 extra large pies. Being a fool, I said yea and hop out, and grab the pizzas. He claims his friend will be by shortly with the cash. I lean against my car with the pies on the hood of my car and proceed to catch up on the day's NFL scores on my cell phone. 30 seconds later he says "there he comes." As I turn my head to look at his friend, dude sucker punches me in the side of the head and by this time, his friend runs up and hits me again until I fall on the ground. Both are kicking me in the stomach and head, I manage to cover my face so no major damage occurs. When it was over, I got up and noticed the pizzas missing. I got beat up by thugs, and the pizzas were stolen. We stopped delivering to that spot after dark as a result.
When I was fifteen the pizza guy came and my mom hadn't gotten home from the grocery store yet. I played ping pong with him for 15 minutes. He wasn't half bad.
I had a pizza delivered to a drain once. Felt like a ninja turtle.
After our final exams in high school, my friends all came over to my place to hang around and watch some movies. My parents were not home so we could do what we wanted, as long as I could discard any evidence of wrong-doings. We wanted pizza, so we called up the nearest place and had them deliver it. We decided to have some fun with the delivery guy.
I put a steamy x-rated DVD in the player in the living room and set the TV close to its maximum volume. I also put a particularly loud scene on repeat. This thing was so loud, you could hear it from the sidewalk. I wrapped an old dog-chain around my neck so I looked like I was in the middle of some BDSM thing. I answer the door and make a show of fumbling through the contents of my pocket to find the money for the pizza.
During said fumbling, a friend of mine walks into view of the delivery guy. He has no shirt on and has a towel wrapped around his waist to make it look like he's naked underneath. He says a brief "hi" to the delivery guy and walks out of view. After that, a different friend walks into view. He's completely naked, cupping his junk with one hand. He pretends to be surprised by the presence of the delivery guy, uses his other hand to give him a friendly wave and says "yo, what's up?".
The delivery guy just stared at us for about five seconds until he burst out laughing. My friends and I all shared a collective look of "Mission Accomplished", closed the door, and consumed the pizza.
And it was some of the best damn pizza we ever had.
I delivered for Pizza Hut for about 2 years then managed one (assistant) for about 3.
Most awesome: I delivered a pizza to a trailer park just inside the city limits. I knocked on the door and one of the most gorgeous, woman I have ever seen answered the door naked. Gave me some cash, big tip and performed the entire pizza scenario as nonchalant as possible. I handed her the stuff and lingered a bit so I could check her out when she went to put the pizza somewhere. When she turned around the door opened the rest of the way and a smaller man was sitting on the couch behind her just stroking away.
Weirdest: I was managing and I got a call from a customer in full rage. He screamed over the phone that my driver had just murdered his puppy and drove off. I tried to calm him down and figure out what he was talking about. Turns out one of my drivers (he delivered in an F250, not the smallest truck there is) had rolled over their baby chihuahua on the way out of the driveway right as his daughter was running out to grab it. Supposedly the tire went right over the dogs head and one of its eyes popped out like a cork and hit the girl (6) in the chest. I didn't really know what to do since we didn't have a dog murder policy. I tried to explain to the man that my driver likely didn't even notice the little thing in his giant truck. Eventually, I had to call the store manager and get him to talk to the guy and he smoothed everything over with a free pizza. Who knew.
Some female friends of mine from my high school days came to visit me in college. While drinking and reminiscing, we decide to order some pizzas to my apartment.
One of the girls says that for her sorority initiation (and I kid you not, it was Delta Delta Delta) pledges had to receive a pizza delivery in a towel and "accidentally" have it fall while paying.
One of the other girls said we should totally do this. I encouraged female nudity in those days, of course, so one of my friend's volunteers. The rest of us wait around for the pizza, and she goes into the bathroom to change into nothing but a towel. The pizza guy comes, and one of the other girls opens the door to pay; the girl comes out in the towel, acts surprised, and drops it.
The pizza guy is staring, embarrassed, but staring, and the girl is slow to pick up the towel, apologizing, and making a show of it. She puts on the towel, and the pizza guy say, "I still get a tip, though, right? 'Cause the last place did the same thing and gave me nothing."
One time, these kids ordered (like, 16, 15 and 13 probably) and the oldest comes to the door with a bucket in one hand and a tape lint roller in the other. I just kind of stand there awkwardly looking at him, as he knows he's about to do something ridiculous. He puts the tape lint roller into the bucket, sticking dollar bills to it and proceeds to hand them to me one at a time.
After I receive all the bills, he says to me, "hold on let me get your tip". Then to the other two kids behind him, he yells, "GO GO GO! COUNT OUT LOUD!" They all turn and run to the kitchen, coming back one by one, giving me quarters one at a time (about 12) shouting the number they are grabbing as they give it to me.
I've been delivering for 2 years, and surprisingly haven't had any awkward situations, but there was this one little kid who answered the door, he was probably about 4, for his mom. he brought the receipt to his mom to sign, and when he brought it back, he said "here, my mom doesn't tip so I will!" and he gave me this crumpled up dollar from his pocket.
Once had a delivery to a house that was in one of the rich neighborhoods. I pull up to the house, drive down a long driveway, and when I finally get to the door, I see an envelope taped to it. There is nothing written on it except "pizza" on one side, and "leave on the doorstep" on the other. Inside is enough money to cover the pizza and a $10 tip. I look around kind of awkwardly, before setting the pizzas on the doormat and putting the money in my pocket. While I'm walking back to my car, I turn back around to look at the house, and lo and behold, the pizzas are no longer on the doormat. I didn't hear a door, and it hadn't been but 4 or 5 seconds since I had turned around. I also notice as I was getting back in my car, that there were cameras all around the perimeter of the house on the walls, painted the same color as the house to blend in. I drove away and not a single care was given.
A girl answers the door, and yells to her sister, "your boyfriend's here". She comes running down in her bra and underwear. Gets to the door sees a confused looking pizza guy so she screams and runs away while yelling profanities at her sister.
The sister loses it laughing and gives me a $8 tip. Solid deliver 10/10 would deliver again.
I showed up to deliver a pizza on a hot summer night and the guy who ordered it was passed out flat on his back in the living room just inside the screen door. The TV was blasting so loud he would have had a hard time hearing me knocking and shouting even if he hasn't been unconscious. After about a minute of staring, he got himself up and paid. I think he intended to give me two tens and a one for the $18 pizza, but he was so out of it that he gave me two twenties and a five, $27 tip.
This elderly woman ordered a sandwich which was just at the 6 dollar minimum for delivery. The total was $5.99 plus tax. I tell her the price is 6.34 and she begins on a tangent about how it was supposed to be $5.99.
I had to sit there and explain sales tax to her. She shut the door and came back with a calculator and I had to explain to her how to multiply by the tax rate and showed her why it was not $5.99 like her coupon said. Makes you wonder what she does at stores.
I'm on a late afternoon delivery during my sophomore year of college (2years ago). I get to this lady's house in a nice neighborhood. Everything is going well so far that day, good people and nice tips, the only complaint I had was the hot weather.
I arrive at her house and ring the bell. She answers, seems like a normal lady. She says a phrase that makes most drivers a bit on edge, "go ahead and come on in". Normally I just opt to wait outside but I quietly judged that in a pinch I could probably take this lady, and so I enter.
House is nice, clean and huge. I'm waiting for her to come downstairs with the money and I notice that she has the same textbook (animal biology) that I do and I mention it.
"Hey I am in that same class, that's cool. What's your major?"
She says, "I'm working on a pre-vet degree for wildlife work".
"That's awesome", I say. Then she hands me the money. She then goes wide-eyed and says the phrase that begins to make things really awkward.
"You want to see something cool?"
Red flags. But again, I could take her if a struggle ensued so I say," like what?"
"Come downstairs and I'll show you!"
Extreme red flags. I'm thinking this could be a rape scenario or a death scenario or a train set scenario or something. So I did the dumb thing and said "sure".
So down we go into her basement. I'm hesitant and she still won't tell me what to expect. That's when I hear it. Like a slow chainsaw idling. I get to the door at the bottom of the stairs and I look in the room. The source of the noise is on the couch. An adult lynx. Holy, this thing was HUGE. It had paws the size of dinner plates.
"Isn't she beautiful?" The lady asked. I squeaked some sort of reply as I was somewhat frozen in fear of this huge cat. Then she called it over. "Come here, Janey." Janey? What a weird name I thought, at least for a lynx. Then the beast came over and the lady scratched the ear and the lynx purred. Like a damn Harley revving up.
Luckily I wasn't eaten. I even was coaxed into touching the lynx. It was wildish, according to the lady. I left after a few more minutes.
I was delivering 2 large pizzas to an apartment building one night. The recipient was waiting for me in the lobby. He was staggeringly drunk. Throughout the exchange, he was vehemently trying to get me to come back up to his unit with him. I am not sure if he was gay or wanted to kill me and wear my skin, either way, I refused. It took way longer than it should have to deliver 2 pizzas and when he finally paid, he just handed me $100 bill for the $30 order. He insisted I keep the change and may have winked at me as he said it. I am not positive on the wink though as he was so drunk his eyes were not totally coordinated.
My manager insisted I make an effort to return the absurd tip but attempts to contact him the next couple days were unsuccessful.
I was delivering pizza in an apartment complex. I was trying to find a building number when some guys sitting outside in lawn chairs and drinking beer waved me down. They asked how much it was ($50) and paid for the pizza plus a nice tip.
30 minutes later an angry customer calls the store asking where their pizza is. It took me only a moment to realize what happened. Pretty smart idea, really.
I once delivered to an apartment where two people in bathrobes answered the door and I could see their bondage equipment and garments under their robes.
Not so much awkward as scary but whatever. I'm a girl and when I was delivering pizzas I was around 18-19 years old and a pretty scrawny looking thing. Anyways, I had a big delivery to a guys party in his apartment.
The apartment was on the top floor so after hauling about 10 pizzas up three flights of stairs I looked considerably frazzled.
The guy opens the door and there are about 15 men in the apartment and he says I should come in and put them down on the table. Now, I know better than to just enter people's houses but this table was right near the door and there was no way I was going to be able to take the cash with three pizza bags draped over my arms so I take one step towards the table and hear the door slam shut behind me.
He locks the door and says, "we got one" and all these guys start snickering and although it turned out to be a joke (albeit, not a funny one) it was one of the most terrifying moments of my life.
It was homecoming night in Columbia, Missouri where the University of Missouri is located. I'm a 2 am run to an apartment complex I often visit in my line of work. The order was an extra large cheese pizza. I arrive at my customer's door and knock - no answer. I knock again -no answer. As I'm dialing the customer's number her neighbor walks out of his place. He asks me if she was responding and I told him no. He told me that she often orders food and then passes out. He goes ahead and opens her door and to no surprise, she is passed out face first on the couch with her boob hanging out. He asks me how she paid for it and I told him it was on her credit card. He signs the receipt and gives me a fat tip. He then proceeds to open the pizza box and takes a huge bite out of two slices of pizza. He plants the two slices on his neighbors chest and then hurls the rest of the pizza across the living room. To this day I wonder what that poor girl thought we she woke up the next day. And that my friends is my best pizza story.
An old lady who had various younger men around and several times they were having sex when I got there. Whenever she didn't have a man around she would invite me in. I don't remember any specific conversations I had with her, but I remember she said some pretty weird person stuff, and I felt really uncomfortable being anywhere near her. Luckily she stopped ordering pizza after a while because she owed my boss money.
I delivered to this house, rang the doorbell, knocked, and was about to give up, despite hearing the television. I decided to bang the door louder and finally heard the customer yelling. He finally answered and insisted that I come in. This is against policy, just so ya know. I step in, and I see what looked like a soap opera on the largest television I had ever seen. Had to be 70 or 80 inches. Then BAM! A sex scene with two dudes, I was stunned. The guy, who was barely wearing tighty whiteys, I don't know how I didn't know. Started screaming and trying to explain about letting go while the wife was gone. I didn't hear much as I ran out the door. He paid and apologized, and insisted that I go back in. I appreciated the tip but didn't go in. I just took the money and he already had the pizza, I left it when I ran. I had to go back the next week, and his wife was home alone. She let me know that she was alone, he was out of town and propositioned me. I declined, another tip, and told the boss never again.
I've delivered pizzas for 8 years. I've seen it all. People doing the deed, people doing drugs, naked people, people arguing...you name it I've seen it. But to this day by far the most awkward thing for me is when the little kid answers the door and just stares at you. Just stares with those beady little kid eyes like they're just looking deep into your soul. And then the parents finally realize that you have their dinner and then they have to look around for money for 5 minutes while this tiny little child is just giving you this stare down to end all stare downs, their eyes never wandering. The parents finally find the damn money and come to the door and they're all like "Oh Johnny did you say hi to the nice man?" And the stare continues.
I ordered a pizza a few months ago, and since I'm still in high school, the address to the house is in my Mom's name. So, this old man hands me this pizza and, being nice, says "Have a nice night Rebecca" (I'm a guy). It was weird, but whatever, he was just trying to be nice and didn't want to offend a guy who he thought had a girls name.
So, about 3 weeks later, I'm at my Dad's house on the other side of town. We order pizza from the same place and when it is delivered, by the same old man, my Dad gets it. I was sitting on the couch and this old guy sees me and says "Hi Rebecca, nice to see you. Have a nice night." For one, it was weird that he remembered "my" name after this time. And it confused the hell out of my Dad and stepmom.