Some of us are lucky: We have good neighbors. We each go about our business; no one makes any noise or brings any drama into each other's lives... It's quite simple, really.
But others aren't so lucky, and chances are pretty high that you've been one of those unlucky people. (As have I, sad to say.)
You've probably fantasized about ways you could get petty revenge on your awful neighbors, and thankfully Quora gave us our fix in the form of the following question: "What's the pettiest thing you've done to get back at a nuisance neighbor?"
"Then one week..."
No real names used, because, frankly, I don't know if I ever knew their names in the first place, and I really couldn't care less what they are anyway.
I had just moved into my very first house. Pride of ownership and what-not. We're serving pizza to my brother and friends who helped us move. The doorbell—*my* doorbell—rings, and I cheerfully go answer it. It's a guy I don't recognize. Must be one of the neighbors, here to welcome us to the neighborhood! I open the door wide and greet him with a smile.
"You ran your truck all over my G. D. lawn and ruined it," Slouch McSneererson spits out at me. My brother, who happened to be just over my shoulder at the time, had been driving the truck, and he had gone up on the curb a wee bit to back it into the driveway. Bro and I walk out with Slouch to assess the damage. Trying not to make enemies on my first day in the neighborhood, I say, "Of course, I'll be glad to do whatever is necessary to fix it." It's a rut in the boulevard strip. I understand not being happy about it, but sheesh, it's pretty easy to fix.
"You're not touchin' my G. D. lawn, not after I dumped three thousand dollars worth of water on it to get it to grow!" Ol' Slouch grumbled. Okay, so what did he actually want then? I wasn't going to offer him $3,000 for a stupid rut. First, I don't care what he spent on the water bill, he watered his whole lawn, not just that one spot, and second, you pull up the sod, level out the dirt, put the sod back down. $20 to throw a little extra dirt, fertilizer, and seed in there to make it better. Nope, Slouch just wanted to beeyotch at me about it. Establish his place as better than me, I guess.
Now, both my wife and I have jobs. So on trash day, one or the other of us puts our trash cans at the curb like everyone else, then when we get home, we pull them back into the garage. Fast forward a couple weeks. Slouch catches me as I'm starting to haul the trash cans back to the garage. "Your G. D. trash cans were in the middle of the road all day." I look around, like, they're lying right here on the boulevard strip where they belong. "I kicked 'em back to the grass, 'cuz they were in my emmer-effin' way."
"Oh," I said. "Well, thanks, Slouch. I appreciate you watching out for us."
"Didn't do it for you! Keep 'em outta the street!"
Kinda hard to do when there's no specific time for the trash to be picked up, there's no one at home to watch for it, and telecommuting hadn't been invented yet, but… okay, whatevs.
Several more times, Slouch helpfully informed me when my G. D. trash cans were in the G. D. road, and in his emmer-effin way.
Then one day, I came home and one of my trash cans had been flattened. Like one of those magician's top hats. No credit taken for it, but I knew who did it. But it was one of those rubber ones, so I stood in the circle and pulled the sides up like a pair of pants, then clambered out of the trash can and took it to the garage. This happened 3–4 times.
Then one week, one of our trash cans disappeared. Interestingly, the McSneerersons suddenly had one more trash can in their possession than they had before, and it looked startlingly like mine. I told myself they must need it more than me, being more trashy people than we were, and let them keep it.
(Oh, one night I did sneak over there on trash day and put my name on it with a Sharpie. Just to needle them.)
They did other things to demonstrate their value to the community. Bottle rockets launched at other houses, breaking into garages to steal lawnmowers, breaking into cars to steal radios (not mine this time, but only because I kept mine in my now-stoutly-locked garage).
When the For Sale sign went up in our yard, they vandalized that! I'd have really thought they'd be happy we were moving out, they seemed so disturbed by our presence, but whatever. I didn't mention it earlier because it didn't fit in the rest of the narrative, but these were some really racist, bigoted people as well. They'd host backyard picnics from time to time, and as the darkness fell and the empty beer cans increased in number, and the bottle rockets started flying, you'd hear various disparaging comments about the various ethnic groups they were forced to work with and such. Edit: I just remembered that their house had a flagpole, and it flew the Stars and Bars, day and night. That doesn't necessarily make them de facto racist, but it doesn't put much distance between them and a culture that thought it was okay to treat people as object to be bought and sold.
Well, we got a few people looking at our house, and one young couple decided they wanted to buy it. They made a very attractive offer on it, and I was inclined to accept it, but first I spoke with the gentleman. Essentially, telling him that we're glad to sell to him, but feel he should be aware that the neighborhood is very white, and there are a small number of people in the area who won't be happy to see a black couple moving in. He smiled and said he was aware that the neighborhood was lily white, and that racism was a fact of life for him and his wife, and he wasn't worried about anything. Indeed, he was a big man—bigger than me, and I'm pretty big—and pretty solidly muscled. If anyone could stand up to Slouch McSneererson, this guy could.
So moving day finally arrived and we had a crew in to box up and load everything. I gave them instructions, though: the place we're going, you contract with a trash hauler, and they give you your wheelie bins, so we're not going to need the trash cans moved. Just leave them in back of the house. We filled them with all the trash we were leaving behind, including the perishable contents of our refrigerator and freezer. The truck pulled away with all our stuff, including our vehicles. But we stayed in the house for one last evening, "camping out" on the floor.
We got up very early the next day to catch our early flight out. Miraculously, in the middle of the night, our missing trash can apparated on our front lawn, as if it had been there all the time! Ol' Slouch thought he was getting one last dig in, apparently, as now we'd have to haul a dirty old trash can with us to our new home. He didn't know we were getting a taxi to the airport, nor that we didn't need the trash cans any more.
While my wife was getting ready to leave, I hauled that trash can and the ones in back of the house, full of all our left-behind stuff, including the now thoroughly stinky contents of our fridge and freezer, and left them on Slouch's front and side porches, with a paper taped to them saying, "You appeared to need our trash cans more than we do. Enjoy!"
I like to think that he believed them to be empty and gave them a kick, simultaneously hurting his foot and dumping garbage all down his front porch steps.
Not proud of it. But I do giggle like a schoolgirl when I think about it.
"She had a three-car-wide garage..."Giphy
Ah, the Snow War.
We had a neighbor who lived across the street from us who was a real b. After hearing the things she'd yell at her terminally-ill husband or her adult son or any of her other relatives who had somehow been induced to stop by, it was pretty obvious to me that it wasn't just her neighbors that she hated.
She had a three-car-wide garage with a correspondingly wide driveway, even though she only had one vehicle (this was after her husband had died). When it snowed, she expected whichever of her male relatives were currently at her beck-and-call to clear the entire width of the driveway. If it was just an inch or two of snow, a snow shovel would suffice. But once in a great while we'd get a deep snow. At that point, random-male-relative would arrive with a snowblower.
In addition to the snowblower, he also brought an apparently genetic lack of respect for other people, because the direction in which he chose to blow the snow was not—as would seem logical—onto neighbor's lawn, but instead into the street…specifically, toward the end of our single-car driveway (which was a bit further down the street from her driveway), where it turned into a wide patch of ice.
Because the street had a bit of a slope upward in the direction you'd need to drive to get off our street in the winter, that patch of ice made it nearly impossible for a car to get any traction after exiting our driveway. It wasn't just a nuisance; it was a dangerous nuisance.
Despite my husband having had words with her and with random-male-relative about the situation, it kept happening. Finally, since I was pretty sure that this behavior wasn't legal, the next time that the snowblower was used to cause this hazard, I called the police.
Sadly—according to the cop—moving snow onto the street turned out to be a perfectly legal thing to do. That news (which she overheard) seemed to please neighbor quite a lot. Unfortunately for her, that fact was very useful to me.
When her random-male-relative was done with his dirty work and gone, and the sun had gone down, I went outside with a nice, quiet snow shovel (we didn't own a snowblower ourselves). I removed the snow from the road in front of our driveway. In fact, I removed it from most of the street between our houses. But I was very careful about where I put it…
I put it, very legally, on the street in front of her driveway. From one side of her very wide driveway to the other, I built a ridge of snow about a foot high and a foot thick. I didn't set foot on her property at all. The snow was was all on the street, where the cop had very plainly said it was permissible to put it.
But once the twice-moved snow froze into a solid mass, there was no way she was going to get a vehicle out of her driveway. In fact, it took her quite some time the next day to get someone out to do the very difficult (no snow blowing possible) work of removing that ridge. The only bad part was that it was a Saturday (it would have been much nicer if she'd been late for work).
Interestingly, neighbor never permitted her random-male-relatives to blow snow into the street after that.
"A number of years ago..."
A number of years ago my wife and I lived on the ground floor of a two floor apartment building with approximately 8 units. Next door to us was a lady in her early 60s with a 20 something son of hers that rarely left the apartment and they proceeded to moan and groan at each other all day. The 20 something didn't have a job or any sort of plan for life or at least some idea what he wanted to do. Well, that wasn't the worst of it because about 2 months after we moved in and heard them screeching at all hours of the day we had woman with a child upstairs who moved in 2 months after us.
That wouldn't have been problem except for her and her kid dropping things on the floor at all hours of the day including 2 am, 4 am, 6am and whenever they felt like doing so. She would also play very loud and obnoxious music at all hours of the day while we would usually wear headphones or at least keep the volume to a limit where you could only hear it in our apartment just out of basic respect for others.
This went on for well over a year on and off and we talked to apartment management who didn't do anything about it other than tell her to turn it down. Well, that didn't work and they didn't bother to evict her for her behavior. Which also included leaving dropped candy and gum in the main stairwell and in front our interior apartment door. Finally apartment management came over to clean it all up because her next door neighbors were a bunch of pigs as well but at least they were quiet.
On our second year lease, we had already decided to move out after calling the cops countless times and being told that there was nothing they could do about loud music at all hours of the day which I found nonsense because its a disturbing the peace even in the state we lived in as well as the city having a noise ordinance. They simply didn't want to do their job and I politely told one of the middle aged officers thanks for nothing so much for protect and serve.
So finally we got our future moving plans together and found a brand new place in a smaller and more quiet town without some of the big city drama that was going on in our community. After dealing with the cops and the apartment management company, we were just wore out from all of the nonsense including having a child who was aged 0 to 21 months at the time.
Our final middle finger to the neighbor was to leave for a day on the weekend and make sure to have every radio blasting in the entire apartment including the boom box stereo in the living room and another couple of radios in the bedrooms that were very loud. We left for the day and went to visit some family about 50 miles away. I can only imagine the sheer frustration that upstairs neighbor had as we left for an overnight stay at relatives in the new town we were moving too. Anyway, on this Saturday evening we received a cell phone call from the management company that they were going to go into our apartment because the neighbors had complained about loud music. Well they did and shut down the radios but after that we didn't have any more problems for the 2 months we lived there prior to our move and finished out our lease.
Its too bad you have to go to extremes to get people's attention but sometimes that's just the way it is because some people aren't very smart and don't listen to reason.
My neighbour's 22 year old stay home delinquent had an habit of sticking his head out of his attic room and yelling at the kids, mine included, when they were playing. This tended to happen on weekends when he was nursing an hangover.
Entreaties to his parents by the parents of the affected kids did nothing. Nor would he come out outside when challenged by an irate parent. Then he called my daughter a c*nt. She was 6. I decided to deal with it.
One day a bright blue Rover Metro appeared outside his house when everyone was out. This car had a tax disc in the window and it was before the days of computerised insurance databases. It was therefore legally parked and all locked up. Although roadworthy it looked a state with a long scrape down one side. It would look good sandwiched between their BMW and Toyota. In fact it looked just like the one my friends sister was selling for £30 since it got scraped on a skip. However this one was special. Someone had gone over the entire car with an indelible marker pen. In foot high letters. Every panel had a neat statement identifying my errant neighbour as a prolific ahole.
Every bit of the car including the roof had his name, address and a variation of the same accusation. At five pm his mum came home. She saw the Metro and instantly jumped into her car and shot off. Five minutes later she was back with a can of black paint. She tried to spray over it but someone had sprayed WD 40 on the panels and it had sat in the hot sun drying all afternoon. The paint wouldn't stick. It was so funny seeing her on her knees desperately trying to cover up the abuse. When the son and husband came home all hell broke loose. It went on for weeks.
The kids loved it. They would stand around it and read out the statements to each other, loudly asking innocent questions like "What's a Nonce?" Nobody knew who owned the car and the police refused to get involved as the car checked out as all legal. The local police knew it was community action because of the son, they wisely stayed out of it. It had a sting in the tail too.
One day, about a month later there was a lot of shouting from Mum just after the post had been delivered. She had always accused the son of some kind of involvement and didn't believe that he knew nothing. She was loudly calling him a lying little bastard! Someone had sent the registration document for the car off in the son's name. She was furious. This meant he was legally responsible for the car. It also meant he could deal with it but he was unable to move it due to lack of keys. Even if he did get into it someone had removed the fuel pump relay so it wouldn't start. They ended up having to pay to have it taken away. I last saw it on the back of a truck and thought "Lot of car for £30" As for the son he became known amongst the neighbours and especially the kids as the Fiddler in the Roof. He never swore at or even spoke to another kid on the street ever again in the time I lived there. You can always find a way back at someone if you think about it a little.
As an adult, I'm very (well, somewhat) ashamed of having done this, but I really don't think there was any other way to end the constant war.
The high school I went to had the oldest rivalry in the state I grew up in. The week prior to the football game was mayhem, filled with bonfires, fights, and an all-out, nothing off limits prank war. Some quick examples: one year they burned their school name into our football field, so we let a herd of goats loose on theirs; they stole all the letters off the ornate wooden sign at ours, so we took their mascot statue and sunk it in their campus pond (they were pirates, so it was fitting); they stole our goal posts so we dyed their pool blue with a mix of Kool aid and Jell-O… it was insane.
Anyways, my next door neighbors had a son that went to my school, but his gf went to the rival. During Spirit week, everyone decorated their cars with paint, flags, streamers, etc. My senior year, his gf and some of her friends started targeting me. Over the course of the week I had to deal with around 6dozen eggs, shaving foam, more tp than I care to estimate. After the first night, I started parking at the close end of the driveway instead of on the street (4cars in our fam at the time), but that night they egged all our cars, not just mine, and let the air out of all the tires. It went on for 4 nights straight, with me having to get up before sunrise to wash all the cars and use the air pump to refill the tires.
Now, my father is very conservative and doesn't back vengeance in any way, but he was pissed. The eggs and foam ruined the paint on 3 of the cars, including his new caddy, so he told me quite clearly that as long as I didn't get caught, I could get payback.
The night of the game came, and they won, as per the norm, so the gf and all her friends were at my neighbor's house partying. With all the music and whatnot, we could've set a nuke off and they wouldn't have heard it, but a couple of friends and I played ninja. With a combo of baloney slices, life savers, and nail polish remover, we turned her lovely little beamer into a polka dotted nightmare.
For the uninitiated, baloney eats thru the clear coat and the grease usually prevents it from being easily washed off; with the Lifesavers, it's lick em and stick em and if you try to remove them without dissolving them, it takes the paint with it down to primer; and of course acetone will eat thru everything down to the metal and can be used quite effectively with a sponge brush.
Her screaming woke us all up the next morning. While my dad didn't approve of some of the drawing and word choice, he gave me a discreet high five and said he had gotten his money's worth.
Ironically, my first college roommate went to the rival school. We shared many laughs about the crazy antics of our class, and agreed to not damage one another's stuff. Before I moved to the SW, I made a point to go home every year for the game, so my kids would get to see where mom spent 4 amazing years.
Fam. Weighted blankets.
If you (or your kids - I see you, exhausted parents) struggle to stay asleep at night, weighted blankets might be a game changer for you. We got one for our 1-year-old after a week of her waking up at 4AM for baby jam sessions.
Best $31.99 we have ever spent. Ever.
Lappy<p>A foldable laptop stand for 15€. Always thought you didn't need this stuff, how different from without one can it be - but it does wonders for my neck. Travels everywhere with me now.</p><p>It was an Amazon Prime sale back in November, but I'd say the 20€ it's priced at now is definitely still worth it. </p><p>I like it because the dark gray metallic color matches my laptop and the aluminium material feels way sturdier than a plastic stand would. I chose a very slim model that's basically just a framework for the laptop, no table or anything, because I mainly need this to take up the least possible space in my backpack as I travel with it every day.</p><p>It's perfect. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmvkl7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">quinalou1</a></p>
Rubber Bristles<p>A rubber bristled broom. I have two dogs and two cats, and my house is all hardwood and tile. A regular broom just sends the fur floating everywhere, but my rubber broom keeps it all nice and tidy and easy to pick up. It works on my area rug and upholstered furniture, too!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnmnnv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Boose81</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnmnnv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I've never even considered that something like this exists.</p><p>No more cat hair tumbleweeds rolling around the apartment!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjocm3n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ItWasTheButterfly</a></p><p>I recently got one and it is <em>amazing</em>. The other end is a squeegee but I haven't tried that yet.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnw9ya?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">_perl_</a></p>
Let There Be Light<p>A wake up light alarm clock. The light turns on gradually and wakes you up gradually rather than waking up to obnoxious beeping. Makes the start of my day more positive.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjngycx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ThimbleAndAcorn</a></p><p>Yes I LOVE mine! Especially in the winter when I have to wake up hours before sunrise</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjohj4l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">dingoeslovebabies</a></p><p>We just discovered this functionality is built into our Android phones. I don't know if it's just the Motorola brand, but it looks like it's part of the basic Android operating system now. it turns the screen a deep red that slowly brightens into a bright Cheery sunshine yellow. It is definitely a more pleasant way to wake up!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjo5b9c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">photogent1</a></p>
The Drain Thingies<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUwMTQxNi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NzI2MzExMX0.n5_i5Us4EM3Gx15GxW40AEUgnfafkQwyeQh2stuwgO0/img.gif?width=980" id="a0779" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="364903589eeb8869999998db0bfad481" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="285" data-height="360" />shower shaving GIFGiphy<p>In my uni house of 4 long-haired girls, we had a sieve-type drain thingie that went over the plughole. It still let water through but caught all the hair to stop it from clogging the drain. </p><p>Yeah, that definitely cost a lot less than a plumber or us losing our deposit</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnc5di?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">tatt3rsall</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnc5di?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I lived in a house with 5 people, me and another short hair guy lived downstairs with our own bathroom, and upstairs was 2 long haired people and 1 medium-length. They never bothered to use a hair catch, and at some point every started showering downstairs.</p>
Heat<p>A heated blanket, don't know how I ever survived winters before this.</p><p>My bedroom is in the attic and it gets cold. Due to how stuff is wired the heating in my room only goes on when it's cold downstairs, but since it doesn't get that cold downstairs my heating never starts up.</p><p>This has saved me so much cold nights curled up in a ball at night trying to warm up, it's amazing</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmzxk8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PokingCactus</a></p><p>Same! Saves putting the heating on for the whole house when all you want is for your bed not to be ice-cold in the evening!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjn580o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Luke10123</a></p>
Shh!<p>Earplugs. They saved my final exams in highschool when my sister and her 1.5 and 3yo kids tornadoed through the whole house.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmzl8c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Bartolo20</a></p><p>I play some music super low on my earbuds and then wear my shooting ear protection over them. I can't hear sh*t and instantly focused. Saved me every time I took an exam last semester at my noisy parent's house.</p><p>- <a href="I play some music super low on my earbuds and then wear my shooting ear protection over them. I can't hear shit and instantly focused. Saved me every time I took an exam last semester at my noisy parent's house." target="_blank">GhostOfErik</a></p>
The Perfect Pencil<p>This one mechanical pencil that I bought in high school or earlier. I'll graduate college soon which means I've been writing with the same pencil for somewhat 10 years. </p><p>It fits perfectly between my fingers. I've kept a traditional diary since I was a kid and it has become more and more important since hardly anything requires paper and a pencil today. So many memories from the happiest moments to the absolute worst have been written down using this pencil. </p><p>I have a few other pencils as well but they don't feel right and eventually I'll put them away and return to my old friend.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmw607?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">petuwk</a></p>
Get In The Garden<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUwMTQyMS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMzg3NzA2Mn0.BhvpD5Nni-3nj0BH3uU9QYgyHKXP-VpWnX_wEwoUaAE/img.gif?width=980" id="35171" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="51719fe8cc6296eadaea3c8c488fdf09" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="320" data-height="180" />fox tv dancing GIF by Bob's BurgersGiphy<p>About 20 years ago I bought a 3 VHS tape set that showed me this guy, Sepp Holzer, doing pond and gardens and raising animals in a way far better than I imagined. It has been the core of my life ever since.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmvgz7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">paulwheaton</a></p><p>Thank you for posting this. My ten year old daughter is obsessed with gardening and sustainability. </p><p>We recently bought some land in the Blue Ridge mountains and she has been very diligent in planning out what she wants to plant where, she has started her compost pile when we raked the leaves in the fall and was just asking me if she can build a greenhouse before next fall. </p><p>I just showed her your videos and her eyes lit up the way a kids eyes light up when they've found their new obsession.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjob7xy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">drman3211</a></p>
Shower Chair<p>Shower chair. </p><p>I've got a f*cked up back and I initially got it for that but even if my back was fine I'd still have one, they're so useful. If you shave your legs, you won't regret it.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjndu5d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">madfishmonger1</a></p><p>I'm heavily pregnant at the moment and have been seriously considering getting a shower chair lol. Now I think I may just go ahead and do it</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnqef2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wifejugs69</a></p>
Butter<p>A butter dish/butter tray. </p><p>Room temp butter always available. No more trying to spread hard butter out of the fridge. Unrefrigerated and covered butter is good for like 2 weeks. </p><p>It never lasts that long. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnm0hu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">drawingxfiles</a></p><p>What?! I did not even know you could leave butter outside. </p><p>I always thought it was in the same realm as milk, where you store it chilled and only take it out when you need to use it. That's just how it is, living in the tropics I guess? This could be a game changer. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjo5hqx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">KabuAtama</a></p>
As kids, we spent about 8 hours every day in school for 10 months of each year. Not surprisingly, a few useless lessons made their way into the curriculum.
Well, maybe more than a few.
Backfired<p>"0-tolerance policy is the dumbest thing ever taught and implemented."</p><p>"All it teaches is to fear authority when you're the victim. It enables the perpetrator (who is normally a bully)."</p><p>"I know administrators are lazy, but they need to actually investigate the goddamn problem instead of saying, 'hey you both were involved in the issue so you're both going to get punished.'"</p><p>"It basically just raises you to hate authority, and while I don't like authorities either I don't think they're all distrustful. Although, I guess this could be interpreted as commentary on how garbage authority is."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gji1860?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">HotSiracha1134</a></p>
It Worked, Didn't It<p>"That sticking up for yourself is wrong. I punched a kid in the face because he was being physically abusive to me."</p><p>"He grabbed my arms and spun us in circles, intending to let go once I would be sort of thrown through the air. I got an arm loose and punched him in the face before that happened."</p><p>"Instead of him being expelled I, a female half his size, was forced to apologize for defending myself. I'm still mad."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjiinlw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">justice-knifeblade</a></p>
The Unicycle Budget<p>"Our elementary school was heavy into unicycles. Gym class year round was learning to ride, then ride together, and in formation."</p><p>"I was one of the unlucky few who never got it (I can't dance or ride a bike either, so I suspect there's some balance issues)."</p><p>"School all but threatened to hold me back a year until I learned how. Everyone forgot and never picked it up again as soon as they moved to middle school."</p><p>"Worst part is that we were a very poor school in a very rural area without much funding. I can't imagine how much the school spent on those unicycles. There was no sponsorship, and we weren't competing in anything."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgybtf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sezah</a></p>
A Bizarre Exercise<p>"Not exactly something they teach in general, but in my high school music class, we had to memorize our national anthem in a different language (we used to be a colony and it was originally written in the colonizer's language.)"</p><p>"And then sing it out loud with the same melody and all, except you're parroting a bunch of words that you don't understand. Over a decade later and I still think it was a pointless exercise"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh1snm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BlizzardousBane</a></p>
Egg Baby<p>"how to 'take care of a baby' by"</p><ol><li>bringing in an egg</li><li>having the teacher sign the egg</li><li>decorating, protecting, and carrying the egg at all times for two days</li><li>revealing to the teacher at the end of day 2 that the egg was still in tact, without cracks.</li></ol><p>"all that taught me was how to take care of an egg."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjia5r2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">archikat007</a></p>
Sport Facts<p>"In Phys Ed they had us take actual written tests a few times sitting on the gym floor. Questions like where was basketball invented, what are the rules of pickle, yadda yadda, other useless sh**." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgqyxo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GummyZerg</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's the kind of bullsh** that happens when the only way to prove you're doing something is to provide data."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Teachers are forced to do things which generate data because the traditional outcomes don't provide enough evidence for someone at the state or distinct admin office to know you're doing your job." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh7qnm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Beeb294</a></p>
The Definition of Busy Work<p>"When I was in primary school we got taught about digital roots, it's where you take a number, add up all the digits and repeat if you have more than 1 digit, so 684 = 6+8+4 = 18 = 1 + 8 = 9."</p><p>"Nobody else has ever heard of this."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh998n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">emu404</a></p>
If Only Bullies Valued My Opinion<p>"That if someone's bullying you you tell them that you don't like it. like no sh**, that's why they do it." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjhzzcd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">dr_pepper_cans</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My grandmother used to tell my dad, my brothers, and me 'If someone hits you, tell them you don't like to get hit!' Most useless piece of advice that has been taught to society." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjido7g?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ZIONSCROLLS</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"The only thing that ever helped me with bullies at that age, was fighting back. I tried everything else. But the teachers punished me more than the bullies for it, they'd always say 'it doesn't matter who started it' - which is f***ing bullsh**. I'm still mad." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjie14y?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">yas_yas</a></p>
Keep Those Clavicles Covered<p>"That if we cover our shoulders and legs boys will stop looking at us" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh828n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">shlee_e</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"As a guy this rule just taught me that bare shoulders are provocative and now I get all flustered seeing a cute girl in something showing her shoulders. This clearly didn't work as intended." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjhy9zj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lunarskies92</a></p>
Useful Lessons<p>"I don't know, but if they don't start teaching people how to spot fake news soon, we're all gonna be living under dictatorships." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgs84h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">thegoatwrote</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"All of us learned to do research papers in school, but how many of us made the jump to doing any kind of basic research in the real world?" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgtiwy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">somebodys_mom</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Broadly speaking, that's called the humanities, and it's been grossly under-appreciated and under-funded for decades at this point" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh93d4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jman939</a></p>
Parents Break Down The Creepiest Stories Their Children Have Ever Told Them About Their Imaginary Friend
Kids say some seriously whacky stuff sometimes, it can be disturbing, especially when they tend to discuss people who are not there. When the imagination is heading into "The Sixth Sense" territory, it may be time for a visit to the therapist. Now almost all of us had imaginary friends at one point in life. It is a very normal, common part of childhood. But much like the real friends in corporeal form we make in life, sometimes certain relationships are toxic and not a good influence. And separation is called for.
Redditor u/xX_ENTROPY_Xx wanted to hear about people's children's besties that they haven't laid eyes on by asking..... What's the scariest story you heard a child tell about their "imaginary friend"?
Hit the Road Jack<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ5ODc3Ni9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyOTQ2NzI1MX0.HiRUuA-6ls5ZaDhMgKjVGIBHbbEkYwYbArx7__1WMuM/img.gif?width=980" id="1d873" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="2c6191d7bdb53d10f0538390a2296695" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="270" data-height="480" />Terrifying Trick Or Treat GIF by CameoGiphy<p>My oldest when she was 4. She had an imaginary friend named Jack who lived under our back porch. And he liked to shove sticks down people's throats. I discouraged playtime with Jack. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo9us1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">RyeDoll13</a><span></span></p>
Monkey & Cowboy<p>My son was 2-3 and always had a bunch of imaginary friends. The most frequently mentioned were Monkey boy and the cowboy. When my son was 2 he woke up one night screaming. I ran in his room and he was terrified. He kept pointing at the corner and saying that Monkey boy was bad. I ended up picking my son up and putting him in bed to sleep with me. The next time he was 3 and we were taking a walk with his younger sister in the stroller. </p>
Mean Don....<p>When my daughter was a toddler she randomly started talking about a man named Don. She always described him the same way and didn't seem scared at all, despite bringing him up every day. She didn't go to daycare and we didn't know anyone named Don. Then one day she got completely freaked out, wouldn't walk around the house alone in case she ran into Don, wouldn't sleep in her own room, and would talk about how she hated him because he said "mean words" to her all the time. About a year into "mean Don" we bought a new house. Once we moved she never spoke of him again. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo7igo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sciencenerd86</a><span></span></p>
Ganga<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ5ODc4MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNjI4MjE1MH0.9GDHqR0I7GhnpzV49VS29OY95DYaFjvhy5BJL2b2erw/img.gif?width=980" id="f19cb" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1ab4fb0446e406094d5a66bce4dc2e88" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="395" data-height="350" />creepy toilet GIFGiphy<p>My son had this imaginary friend - Ganga. She lived in the nearby pond, had duck feet, hair all over her face, ate through a slit in her neck and we were expecting her any minute for dinner.</p><p>He was totally chill with this horrific monster idea, yet he had recurring nightmares about a puppy coming into his room. Kids are weird.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo2bbw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Why_So_Slow</a></p>
Humpty?<p>My youngest niece had an imaginary friend and when my sister told me about it she said "ask her what she looks like"</p><p>"Ok, what's she look like?"</p><p>"Broken pieces."</p><p>"...Oh.. why's she broken sweetie?"</p><p>"She fell from our tree"</p><p>Nope. Sorry sis you're on your own. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo1o5t?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DarthSangheili</a><span></span></p>
Mooky likes to Watch<p>My cousin was a few years younger than me and he had an imaginary friend called 'Mooky'.</p><p>Mooky wasn't human, but some kind of alien/monster thing.</p><p>Used to freak me out when I'd hear a noise behind me at my grandparents house and my cousin would calmly say "It's only Mooky, he just wants to see you." </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjnlngq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Gemski13</a></p>
I Know Her<p>So maybe not scary but definitely weird.</p><p>When I was little I claimed to have an imaginary friend, who had light brown hair and wore a night gown, and she had stars for eyes.</p><p>Well, my niece was living at my old childhood home and she told me that she has a friend who misses me and she asked why I went away. When I asked who, she described my old imaginary friend. It was super spooky.</p><p><em>Edit:</em> I have been informed that this is scary, my apologies. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo4bvp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">StarDustAndLus</a></p>
In the Fire<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ5ODc4Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2OTM4NzMyMX0.zj9afEPNCvRk6Xccb3-7bD8BPTadAujh2UhRdSDr1M0/img.gif?width=980" id="a3047" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="bdc5569341d7e043e11a13feed0de23d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="337" data-height="253" />evil smile GIFGiphy<p>My cousin had an imaginary friend who she said used to live in the fireplace and "was red and patchy" - as if she was burnt. Apparently she was a little girl who wore funny clothes that "looked like olden day clothes". Still spooks me out! </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo5fxh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">babizzo</a></p>
The Lonely<p>My son stopped talking to his imaginary friend for months after my nephew, who was 15, took his own life. My son, who was not quite 5, was the apple of his eye. My nephew treated my son like a little brother, and since his mom watched my son while I worked, they spent tons of time together.</p>
Bless Us<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ5ODc4My9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MDYzMzU1OH0.28HKUz3_fnNIDrVbRqw6qUGa8raZxutETJzbi4913rY/img.gif?width=980" id="98edd" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="327b4f9d5321f2f8be2826c162782ead" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="476" data-height="268" />The Exorcist GIF by filmeditorGiphy<p>A kid said he didn't want to go to church because "my invisible friend says he cant follow me in there." </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo4up5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Rook_45</a><span></span></p>
Be careful what you wish for, you just may get it. That is one of the wisdoms of life that people are always throwing around. It can be especially true when meeting your idols, finding your dream job and searching down blood relatives you knew nothing about. The DNA discovery craze has been all the rage the past decade or so. Everyone is running around contacting family they never knew they had. That can be quite the Pandora's box of family secrets and scandal.The outcomes have been all over the place. Though one of the best led to the discovery of the Golden State killer so that's a win.Redditor u/VideoFork wanted to know who would be willing to give up some salacious tea about their blood tie discoveries by asking..... People who have taken an ancestry DNA test and accidentally uncovered a family secret, what was it?