I have three cats. It's a non-stop bonanza of drama and cuteness and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Pet owners are used to this, and some of them have shared their recent goings on with Reddit - such as cats whose schedules change, and guinea pigs harboring resentment over watermelon.
vicious_viridian asked, What drama is currently happening between you and/or your pets?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
How dare that foot?
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My dog is mad at her own foot. Not sure why, but she's determined to show it what for.
Pro tip: use a squirt bottle.
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Every time my cat starts scratching the couch my family and I give a quick, stout, "hey!". Because of this, my dog has learned to get all huffy and run over to stop the cat when she hears the scratching start. However, my dog can't differentiate the scratching on the couch vs the scratching on the cat post, so now my cat feels like no place is safe and there's a lot of tension.
My cat is exactly like this.
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Had a talk with my puppy about bathroom privacy but he hasn't listened. Offered a compromise- he can come in the bathroom but don't lick or otherwise touch me while I'm in there. He is still insisting that his presence and licks are necessary.
Cutest drama ever.
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Our old lady rabbit has decided that the (human) baby is actually hers, and gets very upset and mopey if separated from her. They only get supervised interaction time, though, as the baby is 9 months old and very grabby. If we try and stop her grabbing, the rabbit will come and put herself back against baby's hands to ask for another fur pull.
And yes, the rabbit has a second rabbit to play with - he's much younger and smaller than her too, so it's like she has a baby rabbit too, but she prefers the baby human.
HI HELLO OTHER DOG WHY ARE YOU NOT MY FRIEND?!
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I moved recently and my dog has not gotten used to all the new neighbors and their dogs yet.
Everyone is super nice and other dogs bark at her too but she's a basset hound which doesn't seem scary, she's so short and adorable but her "HELLO FELLOW DOG" bark sounds like she will eat you and your whole family. Her tail wags the whole time so she's not trying to be ferocious or anything but it sounds intimidating to everyone.
It's just like, this why you don't have new friends yet dog... Calm your floppyass.
Now this is just gross.
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My dog keeps stealing cat poop out of the litter boxes to eat it and it's driving me crazy. He is not being a good boy.
And you think you have a crap job.
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I'm the only one who knows the difference between our dog's normal bark and his "I need to go sh*t" bark, and I'm at college rn.
This slutty cat.
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Our well-fed and well-loved cat broke into a neighbor's house and rolled around on the floor, exposing her belly to the old man who lived in said house like some common gutter tramp. This cat now shoots daggers at me every time I refuse to indulge in her floozyizms and let her out, but she's already made a name for herself on that Nextdoor app and is known as a sort of a neighborhood tart. Enjoy a few days indoors, you brazen hussie. :(
This cat's career is waning.
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My girl cat has been late to her job recently. We took her on for the position of after-shower greeter; she's always sitting on the toilet by the tub whenever I get out and meows at me, but lately she's been tardy and had affected her most recent yearly evaluation.
I told her that the boy cat was looking to change departments lately, and while we didn't want to lose her, she had to make more of an effort to keep her position
As of this week, she's been showing up early, but I still wonder what's going on in her life. I hope she's okay.
Oh, the drama.
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My mom has 2 humming bird feeders that she is obsessed with watching. She is super concerned because one is "being a bully" standing on top of the feeder and attacking other humming birds trying to feed.
Become a real hot topic of conversation
This owner betrayal.
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The dog is currently not speaking to me because I did not give him the pizza crust like I usually do. But I covered the slices with garlic sauce. He is upset and betrayed.
It's flea season.
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I just put her Frontline on and she'll be pissed for a few days. Plus we're camping tomorrow so I've been packing and she's angsty thinking we are leaving her with family (we are not.)
This is impressive.
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My guinea fowl family had a close call with a hawk today. They were on the open hill above our home having a morning stroll and hunting breakfast. Then the parents noticed a hawk circling and calmly told their 12 young keets (4 weeks old) to play hide and seek, hunker down in the grass, and not make a peep until they came back to get them.
The parents then hiked a ways away and distracted the hawk with their piercing warning calls. This caught my attention, and when humans started getting involved the hawk gave up and flew away. When I saw the hawk, I was certain that the baby birds had perished and that this was the cause of the parents' cries of distress.
However, as I scoured the landscape for what I was certain would be the site of a massacre, I found myself instead in the midst of 12 small grey rocks covered in feathers. They were so still and well camouflaged that I would never have seen them if I weren't specifically looking for them.
After the coast was clear, the parents went back to gather their young ones and brought them back to the farmhouse, where I offered them a meal of fresh chick crumble and a special treat of white millet for dessert.
This is the best kind of drama.
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My cat has finally figured out that my alarm going off means I'm making plans to leave the bed so moves up closer and burrows in while batting my hand to be petted while purring and being extremely warm thus making me not want to move.
Real life contains the scariest horrors you could ask for. So aren't we all living in a horror movie, in a way? At least, these people sure freakin' were.
MisterSnowman69 asked: What was a moment in your life that felt like a horror movie scene?
In the words of the legendary Mary Vivian Pierce in the film Pink Flamingos, “Murder merely relieves tension”. I’m sure the following Redditors felt differently.
Nothing scarier than the woods at night.
Went into a real deep woods hike for only the second time in my life.
My gps broke and had to rely on my compass. Got turned around a few times because I couldn't remember the direction I came from, and it was getting dark. Lost the trail way.
But the woods are weirdly silent in the dark and alone.
It was around 2am by the time I found the trailhead.
Darn foxes.
the simpsons react GIFGiphyMy friend and I got lost late on one foggy night in the Italian countryside. There were rats all over and every once in a while we heard someone scream.
I've never been more sure I was about to get murdered than I was that night.
It was probably a red fox that was screaming.
Could've also been a lynx, but they are much rarer in Italy.
At least she wasn’t speaking in tongues.
My mom is quite the sleep talker, but it's usually pretty short and incoherent when it happens. One night as a teenager, I woke up to her scream-yelling the Hail Mary prayer (my bedroom was across the house and upstairs).
Difficult to get back to sleep after that one.
Sometimes scary sh*t ends up just being funny coincidences. Super funny. Right?
Don’t give them any ideas.
I was exploring an abandoned mental asylum and then got the scare of my life when a scary looking person inside one of the rooms was just staring at me without moving. Turns out some joker had left a cardboard cutout there.
And now I have plans this weekend... Just need to find a couple of cardboard cutouts and to break into the local abandoned asylum.
Don’t you hate when that happens?
Evil Dead Horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyI was driving home on backcountry roads at midnight in heavy fog. Like can't see 10 feet in front of you thick. Suddenly I see an all-white silhouette running in front of the car. Every hair on my body stood up. I immediately think "oh god, oh f*ck, it's a f*cking woman in white, I'm gonna f*cking die"
Nope just a drunk who dove into the ditch.
Gotta love paranoia.
When I was about 12, my parents went out for dinner leaving me home alone. We lived out in the country, on a private road with only three other houses, surrounded by cow fields and wooded areas.
I went into the the kitchen and glanced out the window towards the trees and there in the fading light I could see a person walking slowly through the woods. They were wearing all black, moving slowly and appeared to pause behind trees. My heart started pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear anything else and I was weak and shaky from fear. I froze and just watched them. Would they come to the house? Where were they going?
This was before cell phones but I suddenly remembered my mom had left the number of the restaurant by the living room phone. Slowly, I made my way towards the living room, trying to watch this stranger in the woods.
Just as I entered the living room, all the lights in the entire house went out. By this time it was nearly dark outside. I started openly sobbing and in the dark I heard a weird boom like noise. That was it, I ran to my parents room, hid under their bed and sobbed. That's where my mom found me hours later (it felt like).
Well, turns out the stranger in the woods was a stupid cow that had busted through a fence, the lights going out was from an accident a few miles away (hit the power line) and the boom was the pilot light in the gas stove. Man, I have never been that scared in my life though!
I have a lot of questions.
A naked man who was covered in blood chased me across a park at 2 in the morning. I was totally alone. He just wanted money for a bus (????) and luckily nothing bad happened but I thought I was going to die.
But of course, the genuine horrors do exist. And they aren’t scary in a fun horror movie way, they’re actually terrifying because they can happen to anyone.
A scary few seconds.
car chase GIF by Mayans M.C.GiphyI am a "baby" in a car seat in between cousins in backseat. Dad is driving. This is in the 80s and it is my aunt's insistence that I am in this seat even though I am like 5.
A sleeping semi driver is coming over into our lane and there is a cliff on other side. Basically my dad did some amazing driving but semi blew us up. I am uninjured sitting in the seat swinging my legs while everyone is unconscious. They all wake groaning. Dad doesnt wake up.
Long story short just minor scrapes and dad has broken leg. But the crunch of metal and those few seconds/minute of being the only "alive" person was quite fear inducing.
Glad they’re all ok now.
Two days after my now boyfriend told me he liked me he fell from a zip line and broke his back. Almost died. 6 months later he got into a car wreck from a drunk driver - almost died. 6 months after that, he passed out and had to have emergency brain surgery, again, almost died. I now have severe anxiety/separation anxiety/and ptsd. That whole year was a f*cking nightmare
Edit: we're both okay now, the brain injury was almost a year ago. But TBIs take a while to heal so he still has side effects. Thankfully our relationship is still strong; he's physically getting better and I'm healing emotionally too. Lucky for him, the trauma of the injuries has caused him to forget the majority of the pain and memories of those incidents.
ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Driving home from work at 23, listening to my favorite song.
I pull up to a red light, and see this guy on a motorcycle coming up next to me in the other lane. I rolled down my window to compliment his bike when he stops. He doesn't, and runs the red light. He hits a car going at least 55mph. His motorcycle shatters apart, he goes flying, hits the hood of another car, and lands on the ground and rolls into the curb (no helmet). The car he hit with his motorcycle was totaled. I had to step over his body to talk to the police. He was still alive when they got there. I regret not holding his hand. It was just a normal day, and all of a sudden it felt like the rug was pulled from out beneath me. He was only 18.
Edit: The song was Sunny by Boney M., for those curious
What did we learn today, kids? Foxes scream like humans, shadowy figures are usually cows or drunken rednecks, and once again, PLEASE WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE ANY KIND OF BIKE.
Scary sh*t surrounds us. But where there is horror, there are heroes. So next time you think you see a scary figure in the woods, know that Bruce Campbell is probably right around the corner
Hypocrisy is everywhere; it's like a disease. And sadly everyone does it. Some of us indulge in smaller doses than others. But some people live their life by it. Like how can you support civil servants, like police, firefighters, etc... yet try to find ways to hide money in order to not pay taxes? Tell me... I'll wait.
Manga...
Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphyItalian moms that say you're too fat then say I'm making grandma cry by not finishing my pasta.
Asian moms too! Not only that if you try to not eat, they make to go containers for you. Oh, sorry I have to leave, RUNS AT LEAST HAVE SOME FRUIT.
Phonies...
Celebrities positioning themselves as champions for social justice while launching a clothing line with no comment on the labor conditions their garments are made in.
Sexy Times...
The Porn Industry
Why is prostitution considered a crime, but it becomes perfectly legal once a camera is put beside them?
I think the first amendment helps with that one. There's been many a supreme-court case about whether porn is protected speech.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
You can get away with WAY more crap, in general, when you're attractive.
But we all kind of aspire to attractiveness and it's not like it's attractive people's fault, exactly. So what is there to be done?
So true. Money and beauty are treated like virtues and they aren't. They're luck of the draw. It probably helps you to be a better person if people assume that you are gentle and clever just by looking at your face or wallet.
KIDS
GIF by MOODMANGiphyPeople screaming at you if you don't want Kids and Kids are the greatest thing in the World and then turn around and whine how expensive they are and how annoying yadda yadda.
Yeah see... humans are a mess. And too often then not, personal conviction and dignity are just a myth, or a punchline. Double standards have always been a way of life. And many of us have begrudgingly learned to navigate.
Fashion
Fashion Model GIF by NYFW: The ShowsGiphyIf a skinny person wears something out of the ordinary, it's a fashion statement and awesome. It can even just be something like a crop top or overalls.
But God forbid a fat person wear the same thing.
Distractions
The hypocrisy hypocrisy. People love to call it out but rarely notice it on themselves and if they notice it then it's something completely different or a distraction.
That's the worst. I hate that I have to hate that. But if I don't hate it, then the hate will just continue. So, really, my hate comes from my love of an end to hate. So anyone who hates my hate hates love. And we must hate anyone who hates love!
My Morality
My own personal hypocrisy; When I was a lot less well off financially, delivering pizzas trying to get through college, I kept a cup of coins in my car. When a homeless person would approach me for spare change, I gave them the cup. Most of the time it was nearly full, so there was probably 20-30 dollars in there.
Now that I have a good salaried job, even if I've got a few bucks in my wallet, I tend to not even make eye contact anymore. I know it's awful, I know it makes me crappy, but the last 4-5 years have made me a jaded craphead towards people in general. I used to be so hopeful and I wanted to help everyone, and tried to live a life that reflected that.
Now, while my general and political morality is pretty much the same, my personal morality has gotten more grey. I'd jaded, I hate people, I assume the worst of people I used to assume the best of. I don't really care about the strangers around me like I used to, but I still expect everyone else to.
Placing Blame
Victim mentality.
It's so freaking frustrating when it becomes entrenched. "You did this, it's your fault" "you should've known to do x, its your fault" Yeah bro your problems aren't my problems and if all you do is make excuses and blame me for them, it's not going to be my fault when you don't develop as a person and accomplish your dreams. I'm sure they'll find someone to blame though.
In D.C.
Donald Trump Reaction GIF by Election 2016GiphyPoliticians work part time, are given free housing, education, and health care, and exempt from the everyday violence we experience, but refuse to lift a finger to help us.
At this points most people running for a position in the government are only in it for the benefits of being a politician and the amount of money they can embezzle. Well in my country at least.
Just speak a truth and live it. Yes, it maybe hard. But what part of life isn't? Hypocrisy is just lying. Plain and simple. And it's a sin to lie.
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