Pet Owners Admit What It's Really Like Living With Their Furry Roommates
Pets can be wonderful companions. Many studies show the physical and psychological benefits of pet ownership. But...
If you think about some of the things our pets routinely do, in the context of their role as someone sharing our living space, pets can be kind of jerks.
Reddit user LakotaGrl asked people to consider just that conundrum. "Referring to your pet as only 'My roommate', what's something your roommate does?"
Here are the hilarious results.
My roommate likes to sleep with only his butt on the bed, the rest of his body on the floor. He also likes it when you slap his butt repeatedly.
Too close for comfort.
I once woke up to my roommate slipping and falling off the head of my bed and landing on my face. The first thing I saw that day was his butthole. Close up.
This is how you get pink eye.
Can't hold his licker.
If I bend over (to pick up something off the floor or whatever) and my trousers get slightly pulled down, my roommate will try to lick my butt. I have to tell him to stop it multiple times before he listens.
My roommate attacks a stuffed toy filled with drugs, then runs around and attacks table legs. After he tires himself out, he licks his butthole and falls asleep in a cardboard box.
One time I was really impressed with my roommate because they managed to open the fridge all on their own.
Not so sneaky.
My roommate crawls into bed with me and my girlfriend at night thinking we won't notice.
Roomba of Doom!
My roommate is getting rather chubby because my husband has been traveling and she hasn't kept up the strict exercise program of running 20+ miles a week while he's gone. Instead, she's been stealing our kids' sandwiches and sleeping on his side of the bed.
Our roommate is scared of Roomba and tries to bite it. I have to be vigilant to make sure our roommate doesn't poop on the floor before Roomba runs.
My roommate screams when the sun rises in the morning. He has also pooped on me before and hisses at vegetables.
My friend has a roommate like that. Has anger issues. Low key, but I think he's a pimp. He surrounds himself with multiple women and will fight you if you look at the girls.
Just making sure he didn't miss anything good.
My roommate sniffs my mouth whenever he returns to the room just to check if I ate anything during his absence.
We found one of our roommates on our porch one day, he yelled at us until we fed him and he's been camping on our porch ever since. Sometimes he comes in the garage when it's really cold. We wanna bring him in, but the other two roommates don't want him in the house, so he stays on the porch.
Nobody wants to go in the cold.
My roommate wouldn't just go poo in the snow, instead she waited until it hit critical mass and went behind the curtains
Keeping an eye on you.
When I walk the dog, my roommate stalks us through the neighborhood, hiding behind trees and cars, then running ahead and jumping out at us.
Sometimes you need tough love...
Neither of my roommates will voluntarily bathe. When they really start to stink, I have to physically wrestle them into the bathtub. Both of my roommates will try to escape so it's pretty tricky.
...or a good bribe.
To convince my roommate baths are a good idea, I smear a small part of the tub with peanut butter and he licks it off while being bathed.
High Maintenance Relationship
My roommates were homeless when we met. I offer to let them live with me, but now they expect me to clean up after them and feed them. They're always complaining about the food I buy. All they do is lay around all day. They aren't even paying any rent!
Practicing for the hotdog eating contest
Once I stepped outside to check the mail, and in the minute or two it took me to leave and come back, my roommate had eaten an entire pack of hot dog buns.
A sudden wind.
My roommate wakes herself up with farts then acts super surprised
My roommate is just scared of her farts and stares at/ sniffs her own butt every time it happens
That led to one heck of a hangover.
A former roommate of mine was wild as hell, he was his own man. One morning he left our house hastily, didn't mention where he was off to. A few hours later he gets picked up from the drunk tank no worse for wear- we brought him home and put him to bed to sleep it off. Not more than an hour later he was vomiting chunks of dead bird and some sort of mammalian road kill.
Number one method of communication.
My roommate pees on my bed when he is mad at me.
One of my roommates has done this twice recently since he has been started on a diet. He wanted to show his feelings about the situation.
My roommate thinks it's cute to run around the house showing guests my underwear