Perplexed Mall Santas Reveal The Weirdest Presents Kids Asked Them For

Visiting Santa is a rite of passage for millions of children every year. That's a whole lot of Santas and a whole lot of requests for the big guy.
Reddit userĀ _sleepykitten_ asked:
Former "Santas" of Reddit, what was the strangest or sweetest thing a child asked Santa for Christmas?
4,500 former Santas (and children) shared their stories. Here are the best of them.
Still Working
When I was little I asked for aĀ wishing bone. There is an old wives tale that if you crack it you get a wish. Child me believed this. I figured if I got a wishing bone for Christmas that physical gift would mean I could get a wish instead! A wish was obviously less constrained than a present, which had to be physical. I did get my wishing bone too. I wished to be invincible. Haven't died yet either, so who is to say it didn't work.Ā Ā hollth1

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End of Innocence
My seven year old just asked me, if I pretend to still believe in Santa, will he give me more presents?Ā Ā Guyutestash
Acceptance
I was a Santa for developmentally disabled adults, one of them climbed on my lap and said "I want to be normal".Ā Ā mushbo
Where Babies Don't Come From
I was Santa at Rainforest Cafe once a few years back and a little girl asked me if I had a sister factory because her mom and dad wanted to make one but can't. I told her that I cant make people and she immediately bawled her eyes out with the most ear-splitting screech you'd ever heard.Ā rajjjjjj
Weiner Wishes
My cousin told a mall santa he wanted a hot dog for Christmas.Ā Ā SteamPawn
Not Battleship?
A buddy of mine's son asked Santa for the board game operation a few years ago by saying "I want the operation". The guy playing Santa got real concerned and looked up at my buddy and asked what kind of operation. My buddy hadn't really connected the dots and just said something like "Uhhhhh Mattel I think." Then when they walked away it dawned on him why Santa had spent so much time with his kid.Ā Ā 7fingersphil

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Concession Food is Expensive
I wrap presents at the mall as a fundraiser for my local animal rescue. We sit right outside of where Santa is so I talk to the kids afterward and ask them what they asked for.
A silly one that stuck with me from last year, from an absolutely adorable 5 year old little girl:Ā "A trip to Disney world..."
And with a thoughtful look on her face:Ā "...and Taco Bell gift cards."Ā kaunis

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Creepy Christmas Critters
Had a nine year old girl ask for worms for Christmas, looked up at her parents and they just kinda shrugged so I went with it and told her I'd see what I could do.Ā Ā lnadoo
Gamer Gift
When I was about 15 I had to sub in for our church's Santa because he was sick.Ā First kid without missing a beat asked if I could get his daddy to stop beating him at (the game) Tekken for Christmas.Ā Ā basedonfacts
Considerate Dog Lover
I was the kid and I hear this story all the time. When I was 6 I asked Santa to convince my parents to let me get a dog. He asked why convince them and I told him it would be unfair to have a dog just show up, that we all had to pick it out together so everyone would be happy. Apparently my mom almost cried over that. Still had to wait 3 years before getting my dog though.Ā Ā Narryaworry
Chicks Dig It
I was Santa at my friends store a few years ago. A little boy sternly asked me for a mustache.Ā Ā Awesomepolice
Cool!
My stepdad was a Disneyland santa and a kid asked for a penguin and he asked where the kid would keep it and she said "in the freezer."Ā buhnahnuh

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Bronies Were Not a Thing Yet
Older brother here. I was 5 and my sister was 4. We both sat in Santa's lap together and my sister just froze.
I felt like I had to cover for her so I told Santa my stuff and then said I wanted a My Little Pony to try and get my sister to snap out of it. She was still too scared and didn't say anything so Santa just looks at me like, "My Little Pony, wtf?"
Still glad I tried to get my sis some presents tho.Ā jinspin

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Daddy's Girl
My daughter, two weeks ago, she said she wants to ask santa that I never get old.
I asked why ?
She said like that I can always remain handsome.Ā Ā Jess_Pinkman
Watch the World Burn
"Fire". I shit you not, the kid looked me right in the eyes and said "Fire". When I joyfully asked, "What do you mean by that?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said "I want Fire."
Last I looked there is no game, or form of entertainment called Fire, and this kid looked like he could be the Antichrist.Ā Ā timtheblueman
Selfless
My dad did Santa for a couple years but had to stop because of the emotional toll it took on him. He was doing it at a poor area mall and the kids would come and ask for jackets and things like that for their siblings or parents and nothing for them.Ā Ā orange_lazarus1
Fish Kill
An old coworker of mine was a volunteer Santa.Ā A five year old boy climbs onto his lap, and my friend asks what the boy wants for Christmas. The boy exclaims "I want an orange goldfish!".
My friend glances over at the mom, who gives him the thumbs up, so he smiles and tells the boy that he'll make sure it goes on the list. But the boy worriedly leans closer and says:
Boy:Ā Santa, you have to bring the fish in water, okay? Fish need water to live!
Friend:Ā ~chuckles~ The fish will come with water, I promise!
Boy:Ā And you have to feed it! They sell fish food at Walmart.
Friend:Ā Uh, okay. The elves will make sure-
Boy:Ā And you can't leave it in the sleigh! It will FREEZE AND DIE!
Friend:Ā Don't worry, nothing will happen to the fish.
Boy:Ā And it can't stay in the bag because it won't have air.
Friend:Ā I have many requests for fish, and they've all gone to their homes safely. Don't worry-
Boy:Ā You don't understand! You're magic! Animals need food and water and air!
Friend:Ā Uh...
Boy:Ā ~jumps off Santa's lap, very exasperated~ MOM, SANTA'S GOING TO KILL MY FISH.Ā Ā waytoomanychoices
It's a Sure Sign
My dad was a "signing" Santa in his young 20s. Fluent in ASL and needed some extra cash during the holidays. They would have a special day where all the deaf kids would be able to come and sit on Santa's lap and sign what they wanted for Christmas. He would always recall how amazing it was that the kids were never surprised, excited, or in awe that Santa could sign. It was a given; of course Santa signs, it's Santa.Ā Ā isowseeds123

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Green Christmas
When my son was 4 he asked Santa for Asparagus because it was his favorite food (I kid you not).
He of course woke up on Christmas morning to a bundle of Asparagus wrapped in a bow (among his other gifts of course) I mean, what choice did we have? Ask and ye shall receive!Ā Ā Laszerus

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Better to Give Than Receive
Back around 1990 I played Santa one time for my high school's Beta club or Octagon club, can't remember which - they were doing a Christmas dinner for disadvantaged children the week before Christmas. One little boy asked me for a Nintendo and I said "I'll see what I can do", and then a few kids later, his older sister came up and said "I don't want anything, but could you get my little brother a Nintendo? He wants one so bad." - It broke my heart so bad I almost started crying right then and there.
I asked if I could keep the Santa suit for a few more days, and Christmas day, I found out where they lived and got all my friends to donate any old games/equipment/accessories they didn't play anymore and gathered up about 25 games, a Nintendo, power-pad, light gun, power glove and sensors, and all the cables to hook it up, and one parent donated a 27 inch TV. I drove up to their house in that Santa suit, in my purple firebird (lol, it was hard to explain where the reindeer were) and gave that little boy a Nintendo.
I'd never seen a child so happy and I was trying my best not to cry with his mother, she was that mix of happy, excited, crying, covering her face, and couldn't stop thanking me. I hooked up everything and got the kids started with it and explained how everything worked and how to hook it up and they were just so amazed that Santa brought them all that and stayed all afternoon to play with them.
Because his older sister was so selfless and gave up her wish to him, we rounded up enough to get her a pink and purple bike with the streamers on the handlebars, and one of those Barbie camper playsets. She thanked me so sweetly for her presents and thanked me for her little brother's Nintendo. I tear up every time I think about it.Ā Ā pcliv
Ā Santa on Vacation
I have not shaved in a few years. My now 24 year old son asked on his 21st birthday that I not shave and grow my beard out to see what would happen. Think of the Star Trek five year mission.
I now look like Santa, a Duck Dynastian, or a homeless person.
I was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a pair of cargo shorts and a young girl around 5 to 7 years of age approached me in a department store and said, "Santa, I will be good forever if you could find my mom."
They had gotten separated in the store. I saw a woman trying to hook up with a guy not far away, but the child was not tall enough to see her.
I basically guilted that woman into buying her daughter something.
I now volunteer as Santa for sick children who are in the hospital at Christmas.Ā Ā santapoet
Awkward
Santa for a kid's party my Navy command threw one year. One girl asked for her real daddy not to come back from deployment, because the one that stayed there while he was gone was a lot nicer.
I... err...Ā Ā johnnyseattle
Job Satisfaction
I am Santa 7 days a week from the weekend before Thanksgiving through Christmas Eve. I have heard all kinds of stuff. I had a child ask me for a single stick of gum because his mom wouldn't allow him to have any. Had a girl ask for a box of Frosted Flakes for the same reason. I've had a child ask me to bring her daddy home from Afghanistan. I've posed with the portrait of a child who had just passed away a month prior. There have been children who have asked for live chickens and live pigs. One day I really need to write all of these down. One thing I can say, it's usually never boring.Ā broberts69

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There's something seeing a person litter that drives me up the wall. I remember being a kid and being explicitly told to hold on to my trash and not just throw it in the street. As a kid, I distinctly remember being made fun of for not just throwing the bag of chips I'd just eaten or an empty soda bottle into the gutter.
I can't imagine doing that. Why?! We truly treat this planet as if we have somewhere else to go.
After Redditor pnrddt asked the online community, "What small action immediately makes you dislike a stranger?" people shared their observations.
"Playing music..."
<p>Playing music or having a 'private' conversation via speaker phone in a public place.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginci58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LLCoolBrap</a></p>"When they exhibit..."
<p><strong></strong>When they exhibit a personality trait that I also have, and don't like about myself. Every time I find myself being dismissive or judgemental of somebody, it's just my own insecurity.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginn0g5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginn0g5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">iotangle42</a></p>"When I'm talking..."
<p>When I'm talking and they are not listening. Like they are not even trying to pretend that they are listening.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gincjto?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">eat-the-rich-07</a></p>"Because one of these days..."
<p>A person can treat me like a princess but as soon as I see them mistreating either animals or people, I am out of there. Because one of these days, you'll be on that receiving end.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginpr97?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">starlightradio</a></p>"It just screams..."
<p>Telling people to smile. It just screams condescending and a lack of emotional intelligence.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginovsj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginovsj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">3FoolsinaTrenchcoat</a></p>"When I hear that..."
<p>Grown ups using "baby talk" to try to get what they want. I'm not talking about when people goo-goo at babies, but when they use a silly whiney voice to try to persuade people or make people do them a favour.</p><p>"Aww, pwease hewp me wiv dis wittle pwoject."</p><p>When I hear that I instantly lose respect for that person, be it a stranger or someone I know.</p><p>Pet peeve.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginbwb4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">handsahwill</a></p>"Okay, we get it..."
<p>One-upping people. "Yeah, that's pretty good, but one time I..." Okay, we get it, your life is more amazing than everyone else's.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginhrkd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">well-uh-yeah</a></p>"When out driving..."
<p><strong></strong><strong></strong>When out driving, someone who pulls out in front of you, then proceeds to go 5-10+ mph under the speed limit.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gingjuj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gingjuj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FuzzMcBeefy84</a></p>"If you don't..."
<p>Talking negatively about anyone who's just trying to have a good time in a fun setting. If you don't have nice to say shut the hell up.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gio4vf5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">intergLACTIC</a></p>"When people..."
<p>When people put other people down to try and make themselves look better. "Oh I'm just playing around with them we're friends." I don't care quit being an @ss you know what you're doing and you should be able to tell you're making them feel bad.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gio9p3c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">inf303</a></p>"If it's into a drain..."
<p>Spitting on the pavement.</p><p>If it's into a drain, that's fair enough, sometimes you get phlegm and you need to get rid of it. Going for a drain shows you're at least considerate of other, imo. But on the floor where anyone can step in it (or if you're in a wheelchair, get it all over your hands from pushing the wheels) is just gross.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginojq3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ghostmadlittlemiss</a></p>When you're in the market for a slew of very specific facts that all fall under the same general theme, the internet really delivers.
Forget streamlined public health capabilities and revolutionized human communication, the true beauty of the internet is all the random, barely useful information you can find when a bunch odd people decide to assemble and swap info.
Homemade TarantulaĀ
<p>"Dental student here. Black hairy tongue is a common condition and it's exactly what it sounds like." </p><p>"It's just caused by buildup of dead skin that becomes hair like because of tobacco use or antibiotic use. Usually combined with lack of frictional forces from brushing"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu9tdq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Alarm-Potential</a></p>Load Em UpĀ
<p>"When a patient gets a kidney transplant, they usually leave the old 2 behind unless there's a significant problem with them."</p><p>"The extra kidney is just tucked in the peritoneum leaving the patient with 3 kidneys."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu6qjd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">MedicalJargon-itis</a></p>Come On Mutations!
<p>"Every single melanocyte on your skin (you know, the ones that give your hairs color, and your skin its skin color) is connected to your sympathetic nervous system via modified synapses."</p><p>"No-one knows why they're connected that way - but we do know that under stress, those nerves nuke the pool of stem cells that create hair pigment, which is why it makes you go grey."</p><p>"A few mutations and you could theoretically be able to control them and change color like a chameleon."</p><p>"So in many ways, we're basically walking cuttlefish."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giuyo29?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PavlovaPalava</a></p>Play the Long Game, PeopleĀ
<p>"Humans can outpace any animal on the planet."</p><p>"No, we're not the fastest, but if we were chasing the fastest animal (cheetah) we would catch it and be able to keep going."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gisujdr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Bout3Fidy</a></p>Little Helpful CrittersĀ
<p>"There are little microscopic organisms living in your eyebrows, eating away at the dead skin."</p><p>"Don't freak out, they are very helpful and completely harmless, just a little gross"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giud33u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Vid-Me-BossCheesburg</a></p>Thankfully That Filter is a Pretty Good OneĀ
<p>"Saliva is filtered blood. Your tears are too. And if you're too stressed out you can cry blood."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gitshe5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mylifeisathrowaway10</a></p>Imagine It All in a BottleĀ
<p>"I know that the average human churns out between 1 and 2 liters of saliva every day.... oh and we have parasites who are embedded in our hair follicles, and they eat away at our skin, thus causing Dandruff :,)"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gisrxcc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Throwawayyy123451</a></p>So HotĀ
<p>"Humans give off so much body heat that in 30 min we can boil a gallon of water" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu1ngt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Financial-Ad-6050</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu1ngt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Rookie numbers" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giuvqqt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nopenothappening</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Pshh I can get a gallon of water boiling in like 10 minutes tops" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giuhji3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ridiculouslygay</a></p>Oh DearĀ
<p>"Old ladies often have prolapse of their pelvic organs. This means their vaginal walls got so weak that it can no longer support their bladder or uterus."</p><p> -Nurse practitioner"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gitopxb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">vespertinas</a></p>Working in a doctor's office means helping people when they're at their lowest. Sometimes, that leads to wonderful moments when the patient is thankful for all the advice and care you provided. Other times, it means taking something out of someone's bum.
Turns out, that second one happens a lot more than you might think.
For Fashion And Protection
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1MDMwOC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MjkwNTU2OX0.6D-LIQ26JXH0-7OtPpG93HOtt41wAv62bGHMVvuAYpk/img.gif?width=980" id="7ff06" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6109fb5baf04f17deade8b58695881d1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />wound up season 3 GIFGiphy<p>I had a patient come in with lacerations to her fingers. Her blender got clogged and she stuck her hand inside to clear it. She cleared it and the blender resumed....um blending. Luckily, she had long acrylic nails. This helped lessen the impact.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitz5l4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Bornagainchola</a></p>I'd Rather Go To Sleep
<p>Guy came in after being concerned the bed sheet had stuck to his lower leg. Turns out hed been using a petrol mower the evening before and it had exploded. Full thickness burn to his calf. No pain. He wanted to go home to feed his cows instead of being transferred to burns and plastics. Man it looked like white leather.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitkqf9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">DamaskRoses</a></p>Why Play Typical Catch?
<p>Guy was camping with his frat buddies and they were firing air rifles at each other with a baseball glove on.</p><p>The pellet was lodged well into his hand. Like, how did you think this was going to end?</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitq7lt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Milesofstyle</a></p>Close Eyes Off From The World
<p>I was in the ER as a patient next to a guy who was brought in via ambulance because he super glued his eye lids shut.</p><p>He was high as a kite, but so was I from the pain meds I'd been given for my own injury. Whatever meds I was given made me think everything was hilarious. I got yelled at by the nurses for laughing hysterically in the next room. He was being a pain in the a--, ER was on diversion already, and they were not amused.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/githxnc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">brubarbal</a></p>That's Why It's Called A "Dog" Toy
<p>A few stand out. Person somehow swallowed a spiked dog toy.</p><p>Someone tried to reverse his circumcision by cutting more of his d-ck off with a pair of scissors.</p><p>About every object known to man up the bum. šµ if you like it then you shoulda put a string on it." šµ</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitnt24?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">bsn2fnp1</a></p>Yeah, But, How?
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1MDMxMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MjAyNTM0OX0.Esaobyl7Yq7QltSxli0ZwjggE7j8A4gu0uNRnn1ZwUc/img.gif?width=980" id="95a28" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f4eb7f0131c0d79db2de93fd2bbdc0af" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />homer simpson GIFGiphy<p>I've seen an internal vaginal laceration from someone climbing a fence while trying to see something happening down the street.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/giss2id?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">midturbinate</a></p>Again With The Butt...
<p>ER Nurse here</p><p>-We had a girl come in and who knows what she was doing but she had one of the thin glow sticks in her bladder, maybe some fun finger/glow play during a concert? I don't know but pretty wild.</p><ul><li>Also I had a Spanish speaking only gentleman explain why a shoe polish bottle was in his bum, we had to use a video interpreter due to the language barrier but it's was pretty wild to hear the interpreter say "I have a bottle of polish in my anus" after expecting him to just explain why he had belly pain. We also proceeded to print out multiple pictures of common types of shoe polish he used to ask him if it was "this one or that one". It was hilarious when he identified what one it was based on the picture, he had to go to the OR</li></ul><div><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitqmlm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">AirFryersRule</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitqmlm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a></div>Sounds Like A College Guy Thing To Do
<p>Had a university student who ignited a firework in his anus while drunk for the amusement of his buddies. It exploded, causing full thickness burns of his rectum, resulting in him needing a colostomy</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/giss6l1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">ArcofRiolan</a></p>Wow...
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1MDI4OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMDMyMzMyMn0.b42VhIpJrAsaFR19Cf55ZVkWnby5yTIrMhI73HVAImk/img.gif?width=980" id="3ccdf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="50847094a4e17c16febbb35d2146f14f" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />scared homer simpson GIFGiphy<p>Operating theatre - this woman came in with a frozen chicken stuck inside her lady parts. Apparently she had a habit of buying them, inserting them and then pulling them out, as she really had a thing for going through childbirth, but on this occasion, she hadn't allowed time for it to defrost properly /adequately.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Mike_OxonFaier/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Mike_OxonFaier</a></p><p><em>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a>. </em></p>I love movies. The cinema has long been a savior of mine and has given me some of my greatest inspirations. But being an avid film watcher has also made me quite the critic. I can always tell when a movie is worth the money to see in theaters or wait until it's on basic cable with commercials. The signs of mediocrity abound, and sometimes they aren't that difficult to spot.
Redditor u/fjv08kl wanted to know what is obvious about mediocre cinema by asking.... What are some subtle 'red flags' that tell you a movie is not worth watching?