Everybody has secrets, including from those closest to us. Based on this thread, most people want to spare their loved one's feelings, even if it means living with pain or guilt, forever.

tmurg375 asked: What's a secret your SO still doesn't know about you, and why have you kept it secret?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

I'm never really ready for your 'sghetti.

I hate her homemade spaghetti sauce. It's been 14 years, why tell her now?


"Honey, have you changed your pasta sauce recipe?"


"You should"


"It's been 14 years, let's mix it up and try making it edible!"



I absolutely hate his brother with a passion. He thinks I like him.


Well, it sounds like you're doing something right. What is it that irks you about his brother?


He's very hypocritical and opiniated. I'm all for a good debate about topics but he's very much one of those people who think that only their opinion is right and no one else's. He's very egotistical, arrogant and just thinks he's gods gift!


This preventable death.

My wife's dad passed away less than a week after a hip replacement.

I visited with him the day he got home from the procedure and he told me everything was going well but he was scared about the blood thinner injections he would have to give himself over the next four days.

When we were cleaning out his house I found the four unused blood thinner syringes and threw them away without saying anything.


This is one of the most gut wrenchingly sad stories I've read. I would expect to see this in an HBO drama. I'm so sorry. But I think you did the right thing. My father died when I was 20 and I wouldn't want to know this about him.


Not OP, but usually after a hip replacement or most orthopedic surgeries for that matter, blood thinners are standard to reduce the likelihood of a blood clot forming. Blood clots are known to form during periods of extensive inactivity, like being laid up for recovery from a procedure.

Total speculation but I'm guessing OPs father in law died of a complication post op, like a blood clot that got dislodged and landed somewhere, that could've been prevented with those blood thinners.

Hope that helped make a little more sense of it.

OP - you did the right thing.



My wife had her drink on the floor one evening while sitting on the couch watching Netflix. She took a drink and immediately spit it out - a bug had gotten in her glass and she almost swallowed it. I immediately grabbed the drink, told her "it's just a little moth," and I while I disposed of the drink-ruiner she gagged profusely and rinsed her mouth out (all bugs freak her out). Thankfully she was soon mostly over it since it was such a small moth. Will never tell her it was a pretty good-sized cockroach.


Good for you.

About eight years ago I discovered my wife's sister's Reddit account accidentally. It was a variation of a username she'd used for AIM before, but with different numbers and no underscore (the numbers were a significant date to her though). There were too many coincidences in her posts for it not to be her.

She was posting on the relationship advice subreddit. Her (now ex-) husband was abusive. We'd known something was off about him, but couldn't really put our finger on it. I created another account that I only accessed from incognito mode to send her encouragement to leave, and to ask her family or friends (but kinda steered her towards us) for help.

She didn't want to impose or be a burden on any of them (we'd just had a kid, and I make a bunch of money but we live well within our means so you wouldn't think this based on appearances, so it was an understandable concern). I slowly, over several weeks and several different posts she made, convinced her that it's possible her family realizes something isn't quite right and would not consider it a burden to help her out.

After their divorce I deleted that account. Nobody will ever know that the random internet stranger who was weirdly persistent in encouraging my SIL to reach out to her family for help and leave her abusive marriage was actually me.


Real friends don't do this.

I think his best friend uses him for money etc and he's too scared of losing him to ever protest, really vile.


That's a bummer. I hate it when others prey on other people's good nature, especially between friends.


He's too trusting, especially of this guy! He seems to be able to do no wrong at all.


Professional husbandry.

That raccoon you hit with the mower wasn't fine. I put it out if its misery.

She was in her 3rd trimester and was very emotional. I couldn't tell her.


NEVER TELL HER good husband.


Yeet that raccoon ran away and NEVER talk about it EVER AGAIN.


You let your wife mow the lawn in her third trimester?!


I'm guessing you haven't tried negotiating with a heavily pregnant woman before.


Same thing happened to my mom.

When I was little, my family left me at a highway rest stop. TWICE


I have a bunch of siblings so my parents accidentally left us in a quite a few places, but at the highway rest stop? NEVER! My mom had this fear we were going to get kidnapped, stuffed into a truck, and the truck was going to drive far, far away and we'd never be found.

I'm almost 30 and I'm still scared of getting kidnapped at a highway rest stop.


Find you a S.O. with secret coin.

I inherited a few million from my mother who died when I was a child. I've mostly left it alone because there wasn't anything I wanted that I couldn't just get with some elbow grease.

Once my SO and I are at the cusp of doing the house-and-kids thing I will let him know so he can stop worrying about earning enough to put a down payment on a new home.


When your past is too painful to share.

Just how bad my past relationships were. I have given him surface level accounts of my past but the actual details are so painful for me that I can't find the words for it all.

Also, just telling him the bare minimum caused noticeable pain on his face, I think the full truth would leave a sizeable amount of pain in his heart. I don't need him to know the details or feel any form of pity for me, I just need him to know that he makes me feel beautiful, safe, loved and special. (And how grateful I really am to finally have someone who wants to show me how beautiful life really is and can be).


My girlfriend has a rough past. She's told me parts and I ask from time to time because I want to know and sure enough each time it hurts to hear. Because there's nothing I could have done and that someone would hurt someone so intelligent and beautiful and kind just makes me sad. Anyway, even though she doesn't give me the details and I stopped asking. I appreciate what you said, that's given me more peace in a paragraph than anything else has.


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