People With A Murderer In Their Family Explain How It Affected Them


One's actions can have consequences for everyone.

We all have secrets. We've all made mistakes. Some of us have made far worse choices in life than others and those choices have lead to trial and tribulation for anyone related to us or just knows us. When you have a criminal in the family it can be a difficult road to navigate in public or even within the group; especially if the person's crime makes social headlines. Often they can turn into... "those that we do not speak of..."

Redditor u/OneHundredForcer wanted to know how it's possible to still accept certain people in your life after their actions cause pain for others by asking.... [Serious] For those who have a murderer in their family/entourage, what is their story and how has it affected you?


I'm not fully sure of the actual story behind it but I have an axe murderer in my family. All I know is that he killed another one of my ancestors who was a Broadway dancer.


I have an axe murderer in my family as well, though she lived long before I was born, and we weren't sure until recently if she was actually related to us, or just had the same last name as my great5 grandfather. There's a possibility that you've heard of her, Lizzie Borden.

Edit: I have confirmed that I am in fact related to her through a dude named Thomas Borden who was alive in the 16th century. Funnily enough that is also the name of my grandfather and I keep conflating the 2. I can only find that Thomas Borden, or my great5 uncle Gail Borden.



I have a half sister from a different father, but same mother. Her father killed our mother. We've lived with our grandparents (mothers side obviously) since the murder, (she was 4 I was 1). Haven't known life without it. Makes mother and father day a bit weird, and when I have to explain to my friends why I live with my grandparents. Also, I didn't keep it a secret in school, so a lot of people knew OF me through my story. But because of my age it's been an easy adjustment, although it's arguable there wasn't one at all to begin with.



I belong from a tribal area in Pakistan. My uncle legit shot someone with a sniper. They say from the top of the roof. Apparently the person was dating one of my cousins and my degenerate uncle just shot them while they were meeting in a field. My uncle ran away and hid for a couple of weeks while the police were searching from him.

Then a few weeks later he comes back and pretends nothing happened. Some next level bribery made the police forget about him .And he later on stood for elections and become the mayor of the cit.y My father never talked to him again and we moved to Canada.



My great grandfather? (i think) was rumored to be a mass murderer. Apparently my family and another had some kind of beef. That's all I know. The only person alive who would know anymore details won't speak a word about it.



My dad killed my mom's dad when I was a kid because he was angry that my mom divorced him. He drove several hours and had a plan to kill me and my sibling as well as our grandparents. When he couldn't find us he settled for just killing my grandpa. My dad won't ever be getting out of prison and I lost both of them that day because of my dad's selfishness and anger. I grew up in a small town so most people knew and treated us differently for a while. Father's Day is always hard.



Well, I'm not exactly related to them, but they were in my family nevertheless. It was only recently that I found out that my paternal grandfather had four wives. :l That sort of explains why my paternal grandmother left him, but I always knew my grandpa died at a relatively young age as far as age goes. I never knew exactly WHY, though. My dad always told me that he died of an illness, so that's what I went with.

It wasn't until my granduncle, my grandpa's younger brother, visited with his youngest son from England sometime ago did he accidentally reveal in a conversation that my grandpa was actually poisoned and murdered by wife number three. And he said it so smoothly as though it was no big deal, and had this "I saw it coming" look on his face.

But seriously, FOUR WIVES? Surprised he didn't die of a heart attack instead.



My great grandfather was not in the resistance during the Second World War, but he was apparently not very fond of them either. He brutally murdered more than five German soldiers during the occupation, and was let go by the resistance and all government/police even though they knew of what he did.

The times during and just after war are strange times of justice and injustice.



Had a friend and co-captain of the HS soccer team brutally murder his parents. His Mom was also my English teacher.




My grandfather killed an allied soldier during the Korean War. He part of an American tank crew that was paired up with a Turkish tank crew, because it was a UN/NATO police action. The Turks would taunt the hungry Korean children they came across, aggravating the American crew.

The final straw was when they held an orange out to a Korean child, then kicked him square in the jaw when he went went to grab it. My grandfather and his buddies grabbed the Turkish soldier, held him down, and ran a bayonet through his head.

Grandpop was a textbook case of what happens when PTSD is left untreated.



Some one picked a fight with my brother in law in a bar. After being hit, BIL punched the guy in the face in self defense. The punch broke the bully's neck killing him. BIL served 10 years for bogus manslaughter charge. He is loved by our family.



My adopted uncle was raised by extremely religious parents. They're not the stereotypical southern Baptist kind, but theirs views on life are just... off I guess. Anyway they raised this kid in the church and always turned a blind eye to the mischief he would do as a kid. According to my mom he would show up to Christmas with super nice presents for everyone and he never had a job. Clearly it had been either stolen or paid for with drug money.

It was always just the elephant in the room how obviously criminal he was becoming until when he was 19 and he killed two people during a drug sale. He's sitting in the Huntsville, TX prison right now and should be there for life as far as I know. His parents to this day talk about him like he's a sweet, loving man but having never met him I find that hard to believe.



An uncle (by marriage) murdered my grandma and then he killed himself and his own two daughters. I was very upset by this because I was close to my grandmother and it was a horrible thing to process. Because it was such a sensational event, everyone knew that it happened. Some kids at school bullied me for having such a messed up relative. My mom was completely out of it and depressed for years, which also affected me.



My father was MACV SOG in the Vietnam war. He killed a whole bunch of people and because he was also a linguist assisted in the torture and interrogation of hundreds of people. It messed him up. He didn't talk about it and we lived in fear of him. He didn't put stickers on his car, go-to vet groups or even admit to serving in war. He was in Vietnam for almost five years by choice. He liked it. He did things to my sister and myself that no child should ever have to live through.

Later in life he left my mother and found the love of his life and became a happier person. No one believed what he was like when we were kids. So we got called liars after his death when my sister tried to talk about our abuse. His new family never spoke to either of us again. My sister was particularly nasty about it and I made the mistake of speaking up for her.



When I was about 8-10 years old my godfather strangled his wife in a rage fit because he thought she was cheating on. It didn't affect me too much, as my godfather was not a relative but a friend of my dad and I did only see him at most once per year. I did not have a big emotional bond to him. What affected me more was seeing my father cry his heart out during the funeral of my godfather's wife.



There's a girl in my family who married a man that murdered his ex. The man is law enforcement and his ex's body was never found. It looks like she just ran away and disappeared.

I'm so scared for her and she's obsessed with him.



It's not blood family, he's my godmother's son. But we are close.

He was driving drunk, crashed and killed his best friend, who was in the passenger side. He was done for manslaughter and spent a lot of time in jail. He went in at the age of 18 and by the time he got out he was a totally different person. He ran away to Thailand and hasn't been back.



My grandfather shot someone at school early in the 1900s. It was an accident, he didn't realize someone had loaded the gun he took to school for the play and shot and killed his classmate during the play. Nobody talked about it until after my great uncle died and my dad had to dispose of his uncle's gun. Dad explained that he didn't want any guns around and that he was raised with no guns because of what his dad (my grandfather) did. I don't think there was any legal consequences.



A brother of my grandfather was a convict during WWII, he was sent to a concentration camp. There he was violent and meaner than the staff could ever have been. So they hired him to torture and kill other inmates. He is even mentioned in some history books. He killed hundreds of people, most of them by headshot.

Several family members of my grandfather committed suicide in the post war years. My grandfather has never been affectionate or loving in any way. He rarely talked about anything he experienced during the war.

His son (my stepdad) had to go through therapy and is still suffering from the childhood trauma. He studied history and became a teacher and did a very good job at helping disadvantaged children. He is retired now. He researched the above mentioned concentration camp and even had reports and papers sent to him. I saw those papers, and it is horrifying to see the family name next to those crimes.

I had a loving childhood home, and I don't think that any problems I have are directly linked to any of this. But growing up, seeing adults suffer like that, still does something to you. I had to grow up faster, I think. Rely on myself. Family and showing emotions is definitely an issue for me.

There are no winners to anti-semitism, racism, nationalism... Please do not let history repeat itself!!



I guess this would count as 'formerly' in my entourage.

My first boyfriend murdered his friend and then killed himself. We grew up in the same neighborhood, hung out with the same people. We had been broken up but were still friends when the murder happened. We had just graduated high school. It's been a decade since and no one ever mentions it. It's like it never happened.



My grandfather murdered my grandmother. Both were alcoholics and my grandfather that was a prisoner of war battled with PTSD. Due to my grandfather military rank, only served five years in jail. He later married another lady and ended up murdering her as well.



If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

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