People with Dissociative Identity Disorder Reveal Who Their Alters Are And How They Affect Daily Life
Media tends to portray Dissociative Identity Disorder - what many people know as "multiple personality disorder" a certain way. If you've ever seen Sally Field's performance in the movie Sybil, you know what I mean. As far as movies and television are concerned, it's several different personalities who don't know one another all sharing a body. They fight for control, ruin things for one another, and have little to no awareness of what the other is doing.
But what does having DID look like for real sufferers on a day to day basis?
One Reddit user asked:
People with Dissociative Identity Disorder, who are your alters and how do they affect your everyday life?
As happens so often with the media - reality usually isn't that close to what we see on our screens. Quite a few brave people responded, and their answers are really enlightening.
Not Like TV
I was diagnosed with DID a few years ago. I live in England.
For many, including myself, there are no alters, its not like on TV. All the "me's" are me.
Imagine there is a me who hates bananas and a me who loves them. When my mind responds to stress, it might be banana lover me who is in control. 'Control' means heavy influence, not complete, cast iron domination. But the banana hating me is fucking miserable with the banana spree, so she screams in my ear so loudly, so incessantly, that I both love bananas, hate bananas and am just so fucking confused.
I do have episode of lost memory, and complete dissociation, but those episodes are rare. Perhaps two in a bad year. I might come to myself and realise I have bought £800 worth of bananas. I might find a bunch I don't recall buying.
I have spent a loooot of time in the nuthouse. A lot. I have never met a fellow DID with alters. I have met many people with severe BPD who dozens of them.
I am NOT gatekeeping DID. I live in England, and am diagnosed privately & under the NHS. I don't know the US criteria, nor the prevailing attitudes the psychs there have I strive to support every brother & sister of mine fighting their own mind. But, whereas I will tell anyone I meet about the rest of my mental health landscape, I tend to keep the DID diagnosis to myself because it is so deeply misunderstood. I have met others with this diagnosis who have the same problem.
If you have ever seen Deep Space 9, Jadzia Dax has very, very similar experienced to DID, but handles it beautifully. The episodes where she is replaced by Ezri show the bad side of it.
I am happy to answer questions, with love, but, DID is a bit different in life than it is on Tumblr.
The Hulk Needs Black Widow
I suffer from BPD. Borderline personality disorder. But, the idea of me having DID has been tossed around.
Mostly, I do things and then later can't believe I have done them. I will have faint memories but they feel more like dreams. I will say things to others and barely remember even talking with them at all. It is like someone else had control of me during that episode. I don't hear voices (at least I don't think I do. I have intuition, of course but, I don't have more than that one voice helping me make decisions each day)
With my meds, I am pretty good. Keeps episodes down to a very minimum (once a year or less). But, I have to rotate between a few different concoctions due to tolerances.
Prior to my wife convincing me to get help, I would have moments of full black out anger. Thankfully, I only ever directed this at myself and inanimate objects. (I would hit myself and break things). And, strangely, my wife could eventually pull me out of it and I would come back not really realizing what I had done or said. (She actually can't watch the scene where Black Widow calms down the Hulk. She said it just brings up too many traumatic memories)
I also have a mountain of other diagnosed issues. MDD. Bi-Polar. ADHD. I stutter badly.... Pretty much, my brain chemistry is fucked.
When I am the regular me, I am nice and kind and fun to be around. But, when the demon comes, it isn't good. I thank my wife daily for dealing with me for so long. She just says I am lucky I am cute otherwise she would have kicked me to the curb. She's a strong woman and a wonderful mother. She took care of 2 kids and me.
Mental Illness is no joke. I sure wish it would stop getting treated like it is.
My friend's dad has DID due to a history of child abuse, which was then heavily triggered, because he worked in journalism, often on child abuse stories, which just wore him down after a while. The person at the top of the thread that said, it's all "me" and not like characters on a TV show is totally right. I love United States of Tara but it is nothing like that.
He is probably in his early 60's, and I have only seen one alter personally. I didn't even realize it was an alter. Apparently, when he gets stressed, he gets a little like a teenage boy super obsessed with comics, Star Wars, all that stuff. I found this out because we have a very long and in-depth conversation on Godzilla. I guess that is just a happy place for him, so that's what happened.
Secondhand, I have heard from my friend that he does have an alter that basically does not want to be a husband or father. He joins dating sites, has lashed out violently at his adult children, and has no recollection of any of this. He genuinely is the sweetest person, so it was shocking for me to hear this, because my friend's family is super close. It has just been something they learn to deal with, and from my understanding, this angry personality is not a common thing. He is much more likely to slip into teenage boy obsessing over nerd culture state.
My alters are me. They don't have names and they don't "come out" very often. For example, only one has been "out" so far in 2018.
Between mid-February and late May I lost a lot of time. I can't remember attending my sisters birthday, even though there are photos of me with her from that night. I can't remember spending almost £400 on camping equipment on ebay (I don't even like camping), and I can't remember sending an e-mail to my University department head telling him I was dropping out. I'm a heavy smoker, but I would randomly find my cigarettes in the bin. I'm a nail biter, but I would suddenly realize that my nails were clipped and filed down. It's just silly things like that. I hear them in my head, and I talk to them more often than they "come out". Mostly, they comfort me when I'm in a bad place, but sometimes they're very harsh with me. Cruel, occasionally. (edit: I'm aware I'm talking to myself when this happens, but lots of mes in different moods)
I don't have a lot of friends and I'm not close to my parents, but my sister, brother-in-law and best friend of 20 years have met at least one of my alters. The general impression I got from them was that the change isn't dramatic like you see on TV. For example, whichever alter my friend met maintains eye contact when speaking, which I can't do. They also don't swear, whereas I have a really bad habit of swearing in every second sentence. The most intimidating thing my friend told me was that the alter "looked different" somehow, like they wore facial expressions that she had never seen me display in the 20 years we've known one another. But no, they didn't rush off to change clothes, they didn't talk in a different accent and they didn't do anything bad.
I resent saying this, but my experience of DID is very "boring" compared to most fictional portrayals. And I resent saying that because on bad days, I'm so miserable that I want to kill myself. Losing time, even if it doesn't happen often, terrifies me and I spend a lot of time just waiting for it to happen again. Sometimes I just feel so empty inside that I just spend weeks lying in bed, thinking and feeling nothing. Sometimes I have no idea who I am, and I don't actually think I'm real. But other times I'm alright, and I just get on with things. Therapy has really helped me.
Organization Is Key
Hi. I'm in the US, diagnosed and in treatment. Almost 40, female.
All of the dissociative parts of my personality are aware that we are one person. We perceive reality very differently, and feel differently about it, but accept that we're parts of the whole. We know our legal name, the body age, etc. We feel detached from it in a variety of different ways, but we know it's reality.
My everyday life consists of each of my parts trying to do the best they can, just like anybody else. We get up, we keep our body clean and healthy, we socialize and work, we have passions and interests, etc. We have to spend a lot of time working on inner alignment and resolving inner conflict and we spend a lot of time in therapy, reading, writing, self-analyzing, and other types of "doing the work".
The biggest challenges we face are related to our trauma, and the other disorders it spawned. General anxiety and panic attacks, intense phobias, nightmares, flashbacks, etc. Relationships are really tough too.
I've also organized the sh*t out of our life. I'm a professional project manager and use the things I've learned on myself, regularly, to try and help us function as a team. Like I keep a lot of lists so that whoever comes out has a battle plan and knows what's been done already.
Don't Need Them Anymore
I have 8 alters and then myself. Most of them are quiet and not around much (a couple not at all). The most prevalent are a 4 yo girl, a woman in her early 20's and myself. It is very rare that I lose any time and I am most likely what would be called a gate keeper or main "personality." I believe that the 4 yo is the original though.
My issues stem from childhood loss, one alter is a result of molestation and the teen alter is around because the 8 yo alter that was molested hid away. The young woman is the nurturer and caregiver of the home and children (she was a single mother of my oldest daughter). She married a man who was violent and tried to destroy who she was as a person mentally and nearly killed her so I took over. I carry all the memories of the violence in the marriage. Then there is another alter who is the protector but she isn't around anymore because we don't need her. There are others but their parts to play are minimal and rare.
I am in a position in my life right now where I don't need them anymore. Some I am unsure if they even exist anymore or if they are just quiet. I don't know where they are to be honest. The 4 yo comes and goes and shes a delight. I would love to merge the young woman and myself because I think our qualities compliment one another and would make me a more well rounded woman.
Not Even The Problem
I have DID and there are a whole bunch of us, but probably about four, including me, who handle most situations on the "outside." The rest either mainly handle situations on the inside, they have more specialized skills, or they would just really rather stay inside. Honestly I couldn't get through life without their help. We survived our childhood as a team and, while some people get us into some weird situations, we're all just trying to heal. I know I couldn't have survived what we went through alone.
I know for me, the other alters aren't really my "problem." My poor mental health is because of the flashbacks and other symptoms of trauma, and the other alters and I have to handle these effects together. If I had a magic wand, I personally wouldn't want to heal the DID, despite the grief certain alters have given me, but I'd definitely want to heal our PTSD and other mental health issues.
I'm not going to use our real names on here on the incredibly off chance that someone recognizes us, but here's a rundown of the main four fronters:
Alter #1 (me): Host. I do school, work, and family stuff. I don't really know how to describe myself but I usually do well in school, though I've been struggling lately. I'm pretty patient and I'm a good listener, which helps with friendships. I'm nerdy so I like to stay in and do stuff in small groups or with one other person.
Alter #2: Protector. She's very stoic, reserved, and formal. She is a lot faster, stronger, and wittier than I am. She comes out when we feel physically and sometimes emotionally threatened. She handled a lot of physical abuse and mental games. She enjoys hiking, sports, and leather jackets and is actually a lot like Rosa from Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
Alter #3: Internal Self-Helper. She's very submissive and shy, but she's coming out of her shell. She soothes alters on the inside if they're upset and she helps us regulate flashbacks or other intense emotion. She handled a lot of the emotional manipulation (ex. women's roles, "I love you... just kidding," "God wants you to do X," etc.) and sexual abuse from our primary abuser. She likes knitting, cooking, cat videos, that kind of thing but she absolutely HATES germs.
Alter #4: Protector. She's very outspoken and flirty. She used to drink, party, get us into trouble, etc. but she's incredibly helpful and friendly now, and will sometimes take over for me if I need a break with school. We were forced to provide "adult entertainment" in our childhood as part of our cycle of abuse. She's the one who experienced most of that. She's interested in fashion, being outdoors, and board games with friends.
I Was Never One Person
So when most people think of DID, they think that there is one original identity that splits into parts due to trauma, but that's not actually how it works.
DID is caused by trauma during very early childhood, during the time when children are actually going through a stage of development when something called "identity integration" is naturally happening. During this stage of development, children naturally develop one cohesive sense of self, where they can naturally shift from one identity state to another seamlessly, and with a flowing, natural autobiographical memory. For example, they might behave differently at school than they do at home, or with their friends, or with their grandmother, but they are still the same child in all those situations, and they maintain their sense of self and their memories during all those situations.
A child exposed to severe trauma and repeated dissociation does not experience identity integration. Their identity forms in pieces. I was never one person. I have always been many pieces.
Drape A Film
I'm one of those alters, made an account just for this. From the outside we don't seem too different from anyone else. (Maybe a little eccentric, but that's not really related to DID.) Basically we all work together to take care of the body and support the host. They also take care of us to a certain degree.
We were formed because of trauma.
When there's situations that the host can't handle, one of us steps in. Sometimes we use the body completely but more often we sort of drape a 'film' over the every day world, if that makes sense. Everything is experienced at a slight difference. It's like wearing tinted glasses, the world is still the world but it's coloured differently.
Anyway I'm the only one who's 'fronted' as myself. I used to have my own friends separate from the host's but we drifted away which kind of sucks. NGL it can get a little lonely, but it is what it is. Sometimes the host and I integrate to a certain extent. It's disorienting to both of us. Not necessarily a bad thing though. I feel like we're more balanced when we're together but it's also weird because then its more his life than mine, you know? If we could be reincarnated I'd want to be my own person. I think I'd form a rock band.
The host tends to be a little ... lets people get away with a lot of stuff I guess. Lets people be mean or abusive towards him. I don't. If I can get control I'm more likely to tell people to fuck off or just walk away from the situation. I can also handle anger a lot better than him -- when he gets upset he self-injures, when I get upset I just sit with it and wait for it to go away.
We have different preferences for music and different writing style. I feel like I'm a little more motivated too. I'm more willing to sit and work away at something but the host's like, something has to happen right away!
Other than me, there's:
Isiah -- chill guy, likes people and customer service so yeah he comes out sometimes when we have to get through long work days. Likes ice cream so sometimes after a bad day we walk to get some
Ichi -- Isiah's friend, kinda gloomy but a good guy.
?? -- someone else, doesn't come out much but it's cool when she does. I think she's younger than the rest of us, doesn't talk much. When she's out we sometimes look like a typical "crazy" person, like walking in circles and humming to ourselves and someone's gotta watch the body to make sure we don't wander off the subway tracks or something.
Recently, we've all been a little more integrated with one another. Not sure why. We tend to split more when there's more stress.
Part Of A System
Well we are a system for someone who has DID. The central person is purely internal, they never face outwardly. Facing is up to the rest of us. There are 4 main people, 2 secondary (think highly specialized) and then the "core" which is actually 2 people. So 8 on total.
Right now we're working on integration. The workhorse of our group is finally feeling emotion and it's been really overwhelming and painful. Imagine having absolutely no emotional experiences for 30 years and then one day you feel a twinge of frustrating and the next day you're so full of rage you want to break anything you can get your hands on.... It's been hard, but we have good support. We support each other, and we have really amazing people in of life, and an especially good therapist.
I don't think most people would ever be able to tell we're a system identity. The whole point of DID is protecting and surviving, and being at all off inhibits that. So we have struggles, but most people are none the wiser that they are talking to a completely different identity; they just chalk it up to me being a little forgetful now and then.
Remember way back when the internet wasn't a flaming dumpster fire?
Yeah, us either.
The internet has always been a mess, but it's also always been beautiful.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"Giphy
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."Giphy
The Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."Giphy
Figuring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."Giphy
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"Giphy
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."Giphy
A Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."Giphy
Go Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."Giphy
It Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."Giphy
We Used To Love Yahoo
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."Giphy
On a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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