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People with Dissociative Identity Disorder Reveal Who Their Alters Are And How They Affect Daily Life

Media tends to portray Dissociative Identity Disorder - what many people know as "multiple personality disorder" a certain way. If you've ever seen Sally Field's performance in the movie Sybil, you know what I mean. As far as movies and television are concerned, it's several different personalities who don't know one another all sharing a body. They fight for control, ruin things for one another, and have little to no awareness of what the other is doing.

But what does having DID look like for real sufferers on a day to day basis?


One Reddit user asked:

People with Dissociative Identity Disorder, who are your alters and how do they affect your everyday life?

As happens so often with the media - reality usually isn't that close to what we see on our screens. Quite a few brave people responded, and their answers are really enlightening.

Not Like TV

I was diagnosed with DID a few years ago. I live in England.

For many, including myself, there are no alters, its not like on TV. All the "me's" are me.

Imagine there is a me who hates bananas and a me who loves them. When my mind responds to stress, it might be banana lover me who is in control. 'Control' means heavy influence, not complete, cast iron domination. But the banana hating me is fucking miserable with the banana spree, so she screams in my ear so loudly, so incessantly, that I both love bananas, hate bananas and am just so fucking confused.

I do have episode of lost memory, and complete dissociation, but those episodes are rare. Perhaps two in a bad year. I might come to myself and realise I have bought £800 worth of bananas. I might find a bunch I don't recall buying.

I have spent a loooot of time in the nuthouse. A lot. I have never met a fellow DID with alters. I have met many people with severe BPD who dozens of them.

I am NOT gatekeeping DID. I live in England, and am diagnosed privately & under the NHS. I don't know the US criteria, nor the prevailing attitudes the psychs there have I strive to support every brother & sister of mine fighting their own mind. But, whereas I will tell anyone I meet about the rest of my mental health landscape, I tend to keep the DID diagnosis to myself because it is so deeply misunderstood. I have met others with this diagnosis who have the same problem.

If you have ever seen Deep Space 9, Jadzia Dax has very, very similar experienced to DID, but handles it beautifully. The episodes where she is replaced by Ezri show the bad side of it.

I am happy to answer questions, with love, but, DID is a bit different in life than it is on Tumblr.

- guldukatatemybaby

The Hulk Needs Black Widow

I suffer from BPD. Borderline personality disorder. But, the idea of me having DID has been tossed around.

Mostly, I do things and then later can't believe I have done them. I will have faint memories but they feel more like dreams. I will say things to others and barely remember even talking with them at all. It is like someone else had control of me during that episode. I don't hear voices (at least I don't think I do. I have intuition, of course but, I don't have more than that one voice helping me make decisions each day)

With my meds, I am pretty good. Keeps episodes down to a very minimum (once a year or less). But, I have to rotate between a few different concoctions due to tolerances.

Prior to my wife convincing me to get help, I would have moments of full black out anger. Thankfully, I only ever directed this at myself and inanimate objects. (I would hit myself and break things). And, strangely, my wife could eventually pull me out of it and I would come back not really realizing what I had done or said. (She actually can't watch the scene where Black Widow calms down the Hulk. She said it just brings up too many traumatic memories)

I also have a mountain of other diagnosed issues. MDD. Bi-Polar. ADHD. I stutter badly.... Pretty much, my brain chemistry is fucked.

When I am the regular me, I am nice and kind and fun to be around. But, when the demon comes, it isn't good. I thank my wife daily for dealing with me for so long. She just says I am lucky I am cute otherwise she would have kicked me to the curb. She's a strong woman and a wonderful mother. She took care of 2 kids and me.

Mental Illness is no joke. I sure wish it would stop getting treated like it is.

- kizzle69

Nerd Culture

My friend's dad has DID due to a history of child abuse, which was then heavily triggered, because he worked in journalism, often on child abuse stories, which just wore him down after a while. The person at the top of the thread that said, it's all "me" and not like characters on a TV show is totally right. I love United States of Tara but it is nothing like that.

He is probably in his early 60's, and I have only seen one alter personally. I didn't even realize it was an alter. Apparently, when he gets stressed, he gets a little like a teenage boy super obsessed with comics, Star Wars, all that stuff. I found this out because we have a very long and in-depth conversation on Godzilla. I guess that is just a happy place for him, so that's what happened.

Secondhand, I have heard from my friend that he does have an alter that basically does not want to be a husband or father. He joins dating sites, has lashed out violently at his adult children, and has no recollection of any of this. He genuinely is the sweetest person, so it was shocking for me to hear this, because my friend's family is super close. It has just been something they learn to deal with, and from my understanding, this angry personality is not a common thing. He is much more likely to slip into teenage boy obsessing over nerd culture state.

- robbysaur

Boring

My alters are me. They don't have names and they don't "come out" very often. For example, only one has been "out" so far in 2018.

Between mid-February and late May I lost a lot of time. I can't remember attending my sisters birthday, even though there are photos of me with her from that night. I can't remember spending almost £400 on camping equipment on ebay (I don't even like camping), and I can't remember sending an e-mail to my University department head telling him I was dropping out. I'm a heavy smoker, but I would randomly find my cigarettes in the bin. I'm a nail biter, but I would suddenly realize that my nails were clipped and filed down. It's just silly things like that. I hear them in my head, and I talk to them more often than they "come out". Mostly, they comfort me when I'm in a bad place, but sometimes they're very harsh with me. Cruel, occasionally. (edit: I'm aware I'm talking to myself when this happens, but lots of mes in different moods)

I don't have a lot of friends and I'm not close to my parents, but my sister, brother-in-law and best friend of 20 years have met at least one of my alters. The general impression I got from them was that the change isn't dramatic like you see on TV. For example, whichever alter my friend met maintains eye contact when speaking, which I can't do. They also don't swear, whereas I have a really bad habit of swearing in every second sentence. The most intimidating thing my friend told me was that the alter "looked different" somehow, like they wore facial expressions that she had never seen me display in the 20 years we've known one another. But no, they didn't rush off to change clothes, they didn't talk in a different accent and they didn't do anything bad.

I resent saying this, but my experience of DID is very "boring" compared to most fictional portrayals. And I resent saying that because on bad days, I'm so miserable that I want to kill myself. Losing time, even if it doesn't happen often, terrifies me and I spend a lot of time just waiting for it to happen again. Sometimes I just feel so empty inside that I just spend weeks lying in bed, thinking and feeling nothing. Sometimes I have no idea who I am, and I don't actually think I'm real. But other times I'm alright, and I just get on with things. Therapy has really helped me.

- WASP_12b

Organization Is Key

Hi. I'm in the US, diagnosed and in treatment. Almost 40, female.

All of the dissociative parts of my personality are aware that we are one person. We perceive reality very differently, and feel differently about it, but accept that we're parts of the whole. We know our legal name, the body age, etc. We feel detached from it in a variety of different ways, but we know it's reality.

My everyday life consists of each of my parts trying to do the best they can, just like anybody else. We get up, we keep our body clean and healthy, we socialize and work, we have passions and interests, etc. We have to spend a lot of time working on inner alignment and resolving inner conflict and we spend a lot of time in therapy, reading, writing, self-analyzing, and other types of "doing the work".

The biggest challenges we face are related to our trauma, and the other disorders it spawned. General anxiety and panic attacks, intense phobias, nightmares, flashbacks, etc. Relationships are really tough too.

I've also organized the sh*t out of our life. I'm a professional project manager and use the things I've learned on myself, regularly, to try and help us function as a team. Like I keep a lot of lists so that whoever comes out has a battle plan and knows what's been done already.

- puppydeathfarts

Don't Need Them Anymore

I have 8 alters and then myself. Most of them are quiet and not around much (a couple not at all). The most prevalent are a 4 yo girl, a woman in her early 20's and myself. It is very rare that I lose any time and I am most likely what would be called a gate keeper or main "personality." I believe that the 4 yo is the original though.

My issues stem from childhood loss, one alter is a result of molestation and the teen alter is around because the 8 yo alter that was molested hid away. The young woman is the nurturer and caregiver of the home and children (she was a single mother of my oldest daughter). She married a man who was violent and tried to destroy who she was as a person mentally and nearly killed her so I took over. I carry all the memories of the violence in the marriage. Then there is another alter who is the protector but she isn't around anymore because we don't need her. There are others but their parts to play are minimal and rare.

I am in a position in my life right now where I don't need them anymore. Some I am unsure if they even exist anymore or if they are just quiet. I don't know where they are to be honest. The 4 yo comes and goes and shes a delight. I would love to merge the young woman and myself because I think our qualities compliment one another and would make me a more well rounded woman.

- whiskeynostalgic

Not Even The Problem

I have DID and there are a whole bunch of us, but probably about four, including me, who handle most situations on the "outside." The rest either mainly handle situations on the inside, they have more specialized skills, or they would just really rather stay inside. Honestly I couldn't get through life without their help. We survived our childhood as a team and, while some people get us into some weird situations, we're all just trying to heal. I know I couldn't have survived what we went through alone.

I know for me, the other alters aren't really my "problem." My poor mental health is because of the flashbacks and other symptoms of trauma, and the other alters and I have to handle these effects together. If I had a magic wand, I personally wouldn't want to heal the DID, despite the grief certain alters have given me, but I'd definitely want to heal our PTSD and other mental health issues.

I'm not going to use our real names on here on the incredibly off chance that someone recognizes us, but here's a rundown of the main four fronters:
Alter #1 (me): Host. I do school, work, and family stuff. I don't really know how to describe myself but I usually do well in school, though I've been struggling lately. I'm pretty patient and I'm a good listener, which helps with friendships. I'm nerdy so I like to stay in and do stuff in small groups or with one other person.

Alter #2: Protector. She's very stoic, reserved, and formal. She is a lot faster, stronger, and wittier than I am. She comes out when we feel physically and sometimes emotionally threatened. She handled a lot of physical abuse and mental games. She enjoys hiking, sports, and leather jackets and is actually a lot like Rosa from Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

Alter #3: Internal Self-Helper. She's very submissive and shy, but she's coming out of her shell. She soothes alters on the inside if they're upset and she helps us regulate flashbacks or other intense emotion. She handled a lot of the emotional manipulation (ex. women's roles, "I love you... just kidding," "God wants you to do X," etc.) and sexual abuse from our primary abuser. She likes knitting, cooking, cat videos, that kind of thing but she absolutely HATES germs.

Alter #4: Protector. She's very outspoken and flirty. She used to drink, party, get us into trouble, etc. but she's incredibly helpful and friendly now, and will sometimes take over for me if I need a break with school. We were forced to provide "adult entertainment" in our childhood as part of our cycle of abuse. She's the one who experienced most of that. She's interested in fashion, being outdoors, and board games with friends.

- onwillalone

I Was Never One Person

So when most people think of DID, they think that there is one original identity that splits into parts due to trauma, but that's not actually how it works.

DID is caused by trauma during very early childhood, during the time when children are actually going through a stage of development when something called "identity integration" is naturally happening. During this stage of development, children naturally develop one cohesive sense of self, where they can naturally shift from one identity state to another seamlessly, and with a flowing, natural autobiographical memory. For example, they might behave differently at school than they do at home, or with their friends, or with their grandmother, but they are still the same child in all those situations, and they maintain their sense of self and their memories during all those situations.

A child exposed to severe trauma and repeated dissociation does not experience identity integration. Their identity forms in pieces. I was never one person. I have always been many pieces.

- LopsidedFox

Drape A Film

I'm one of those alters, made an account just for this. From the outside we don't seem too different from anyone else. (Maybe a little eccentric, but that's not really related to DID.) Basically we all work together to take care of the body and support the host. They also take care of us to a certain degree.

We were formed because of trauma.

When there's situations that the host can't handle, one of us steps in. Sometimes we use the body completely but more often we sort of drape a 'film' over the every day world, if that makes sense. Everything is experienced at a slight difference. It's like wearing tinted glasses, the world is still the world but it's coloured differently.

Anyway I'm the only one who's 'fronted' as myself. I used to have my own friends separate from the host's but we drifted away which kind of sucks. NGL it can get a little lonely, but it is what it is. Sometimes the host and I integrate to a certain extent. It's disorienting to both of us. Not necessarily a bad thing though. I feel like we're more balanced when we're together but it's also weird because then its more his life than mine, you know? If we could be reincarnated I'd want to be my own person. I think I'd form a rock band.

The host tends to be a little ... lets people get away with a lot of stuff I guess. Lets people be mean or abusive towards him. I don't. If I can get control I'm more likely to tell people to fuck off or just walk away from the situation. I can also handle anger a lot better than him -- when he gets upset he self-injures, when I get upset I just sit with it and wait for it to go away.

We have different preferences for music and different writing style. I feel like I'm a little more motivated too. I'm more willing to sit and work away at something but the host's like, something has to happen right away!

Other than me, there's:

Isiah -- chill guy, likes people and customer service so yeah he comes out sometimes when we have to get through long work days. Likes ice cream so sometimes after a bad day we walk to get some

Ichi -- Isiah's friend, kinda gloomy but a good guy.

?? -- someone else, doesn't come out much but it's cool when she does. I think she's younger than the rest of us, doesn't talk much. When she's out we sometimes look like a typical "crazy" person, like walking in circles and humming to ourselves and someone's gotta watch the body to make sure we don't wander off the subway tracks or something.

Recently, we've all been a little more integrated with one another. Not sure why. We tend to split more when there's more stress.

- birthdayycake

Part Of A System

Well we are a system for someone who has DID. The central person is purely internal, they never face outwardly. Facing is up to the rest of us. There are 4 main people, 2 secondary (think highly specialized) and then the "core" which is actually 2 people. So 8 on total.

Right now we're working on integration. The workhorse of our group is finally feeling emotion and it's been really overwhelming and painful. Imagine having absolutely no emotional experiences for 30 years and then one day you feel a twinge of frustrating and the next day you're so full of rage you want to break anything you can get your hands on.... It's been hard, but we have good support. We support each other, and we have really amazing people in of life, and an especially good therapist.

I don't think most people would ever be able to tell we're a system identity. The whole point of DID is protecting and surviving, and being at all off inhibits that. So we have struggles, but most people are none the wiser that they are talking to a completely different identity; they just chalk it up to me being a little forgetful now and then.

- Forgotpasswordathome

H/T: Reddit

People Share The Absolute Worst Reasons To Have A Baby

Reddit user callmevicious asked: 'What is the worst reason to have a baby? Why?'

baby smiling and lying forward
Photo by Jason Sung on Unsplash

Chances are you've heard phrases like "our little miracle" or "bundle of joy" or something in a similar vein.

Those phrases are usually used to refer to babies.

When someone really wants a baby, and has the financial means, emotional support, and maturity to raise said baby, then they should definitely have one. Bringing a life into this world, or taking care of a life that has no one else to care for them, is wonderful.

However, wanting (and being able to support and take care of) a baby is the only good reason to have one.

Not because you think it's what you're supposed to do, or you want to make your parents happy by giving them a grandchild, or because you think it'll keep your marriage together, or any number of other reasons people will give you.

Chances are you've probably also heard the saying "Every child deserves parents, but not all parents deserve children."

That can be very true if you have a child for any other reason than truly wanting one.

Redditors know this all too well and are ready to share what they think are the absolute worst reasons to have a baby.

Keep reading...Show less
Teachers Share Their Students' Unforgettable Comments
Photo by Sigmund on Unsplash

Kids are some of the sweetest beings in the world. Their tendency to be genuine and non-judgmental is one of the best things about them. We could all learn from them. Kids are also usually quite straightforward and share everything without reservations. Read on to hear what teachers say were some of the most unexpected things that kids shared at school. Sweet, hilarious, insightful, shocking, and sad—these stories have it all.

1. When The Kids Are Asleep

A second or third-grade student was always tired and falling asleep in the class. The teacher asked her what the problem was, and the kid said that her parents were really noisy with each other after she went to bed, and it kept her up. She had to explain to the child gently and patiently, "Your parents are busy looking after you when you're awake, so if they want to play or have fun they have to wait until after you go to bed."

The kid must have told her parents what she had learned, because the teacher said that in the next parent-teacher interview, the mother was beet-red from embarrassment in the meeting.

2. That Hurts!

I used to do science programming for kids. In the middle of a library summer reading program, I picked a little girl, probably about 4-5 years old, to come up and be my volunteer for a magic trick, which then you explained the science of after it was done. I asked what her name was. She said it into the mic with zero shyness in front of approximately 200 kids and adults.

I asked if she had ever heard of the “trick” we were going to do and she said, “Nope! My favorite dinosaur is a triceratops! And I like your shoes! My dad is back there. HI, DAD! But, my mom couldn’t come tonight because she got a shot in her bottom and can’t sit on the hard chairs this place has.” The audience couldn’t stop laughing.

Detective_Meow

3. SOS

woman in white shirt carrying babyPhoto by Hollie Santos on Unsplash

We were talking about calling for help and what a real emergency is. This is tricky with 10-year-olds because you want to use real emergency examples but not freak them out either. One kid came up with a good question when she asked, "So, if your mom gives birth in the kitchen, that's an emergency, right?" Sure enough, mom picked him up with his baby brother who was born last week in their kitchen.

icamom

4. Family Planning

Zoom school has made some of our classroom parents all too aware of what their kindergarteners are telling us. One child said she was going to have a baby brother, then another volunteered that she wanted a baby brother but would probably never get one because her mom said she didn’t want to have another kid ever again. Her dad was in the background doing something else but turned toward the camera when he heard that and locked eyes with me all red-faced and wide-eyed.

goodyhagatha

5. What’s Mine Is Yours

My daughter's kindergarten teacher told me about how one child entertained them at Show and Tell by being extra generous and welcoming. When it was their turn, they regaled the whole class with a complete report on the new alarm system in their house. This was a report, of course, including the code and where the keypad was located behind the curtains!

SpeedyPrius

6. Hear The Music

woman in red long sleeved shirt and blue skirt wearing red hatPhoto by Dawin Rizzo on Unsplash

I had a girl stay for some help after school one day. At the time I was teaching geometry to the 10th grade in a mostly Hispanic school. She told me about growing up in Peru until about the age of 10 or so. She was telling me that she worked with her uncle sometimes on the weekend. I asked what kind of work they did—many of our kids worked construction with their families.

“He’s a clown...I’m his DJ.” That really gave me a smile.

calcbone

7. Feeling Bubbly

I taught the son of a 2nd-grade teacher. He came in one weekend talking about drinking lots of “kid beer” over the weekend at his dad’s house. I had to mention it to his mother, of course. So, when his mom stopped by later and I mentioned the story to her. She simply shook her head and said, “It’s apple juice, I keep telling his dad to stop calling it kid beer!”

sjs1244

8. A Good Grilling

I was always ten minutes early when coming into the virtual classroom. I had a student who, when they came early into the said virtual room, mentioned several days in a row making food on their Traeger grill. I was impressed, especially when they made bread in it! Then the kid mentioned that their oven is broke. I thought their dad was a true grill master for almost two weeks.

OutOfCharacterAnswer

9. Playing With Fire

red and white concrete buildingPhoto by bady abbas on Unsplash

On a class field trip to the fire department, I once had a chronic blurter patiently raise her hand as the fireman went around and answered questions. While pointing at the fire pole, she shared with the entire group, including several parent volunteers, that her "Mommy and daddy have one of those in their bedroom." She followed it up with the reassurance that she "isn't allowed to play on it."

emeryanne

10. Finding Family

An 11th grader was talking about how he moved back with his grandparents when his mom passed away. He mentioned that his mom had also attended this school and so had his dad, but he had never met him. He only knew his dad's first name. So, he said the name in my "get to know other students first-day icebreaker." This is where it gets crazy. A freshman girl asked a few pointed questions, pulled out her phone, and called her dad.

The dad was there within 15 minutes. It turned out that the late mom’s family moved mom out of the city to hide the pregnancy and the dad only knew the child's first name. The mom and dad had only been high school students at the time. Mom moved from a downtown major northern city to Alabama or Louisiana to be with her grandfather. The baby boy got the maternal grandfather’s name.

The dad did not have the money or the resources to track down the mom’s movement. This would be in the pager/cassette days and not during the years of cell phones and Facebook. The dad spent years trying unsuccessfully to track his kid and the kid’s mom down. He, later, settled down, became an EMT, got married, and had three daughters.

Among the three daughters, the oldest daughter was the previously mentioned freshman. There was a GD family reunion in my icebreaker on the first day of school.

wittbrij

11. That One Cousin

I was walking a new student to IT and they happily shared the story of his plump cousin who was wanted by the sheriff because he's behind in his child support. The plump cousin is plump because he drinks energy drinks and not water. He also doesn't pay child support because he doesn't like kids. Said cousin also smells a bit like cheese and his feet have long toenails.

The student kept going along this line and saying things so on and so forth until we arrived at the IT office.

paperconservation101

12. No Show

boy in gray shirt using black laptop computerPhoto by Thomas Park on Unsplash

During virtual learning, at a time of day where we would just give the kids a little time to talk to each other after lunch, one boy was telling another boy how his dad had hooked up his iPad to the TV so he could watch videos or something like that. These kids are kindergarteners. He said to the other boy, “Has your dad ever done that?”

That's when the second boy spilled all the tea: "No. My dad definitely can’t do that. My dad never comes to pick me up. He never even watches me." Now obviously this was terrible and such a heartbreaking thing to hear, but what was so amusing was just his innocence and candidness as a five-year-old kid. He just came right out and aired it all out.

And again, this was virtual learning, so this kid’s poor mother was in the background yelling "J*****!!! STOP IT!! DON’T SAY THAT!" She was horrified. It was sad to hear, but also so funny to hear him just be so straight up with it in front of a class of 25 kids and 2 teachers.

Permalink

13. That Animal Instinct

I used to have a small farm with the usual farm animals. I also went to schools and brought along animals and educated the various classes on animal care, etc. I always invited elementary school classes to come and take a tour of the farm. This would entertain the children. Every year the teachers took me up on the offer. At the time, I also had several animals up in the house, including a few squirrel monkeys.

One of them was really, really old and she had no teeth. A young boy in the second grade was laughing and playing with that older monkey while I talked to the class that surrounded the monkey cages. The old monkey was 'gumming' his finger and he couldn't stop laughing. Finally, the little boy said, "Hey, Jacob, come here and let her bite you....it feels just like grandma!"

And, while showing them the possum I was bottle feeding back to health, a little boy said he had a bunch of them in his bedroom closet.

moviesandcats

14. Santa’s In The House

A kid in one of my classes told me that they learned that Santa isn't real, and in fact, it's actually their parents eating the milk and cookies. But, as they said, "It's not right they have to make the milk and cookies and eat it. They cook for me and I eat what they cook. So, I learned how to make cookies and also pour milk now!" So wholesome!

They told me they have a younger sibling, and they're going to keep making milk and cookies for "Santa" until their sibling gets older, and then they'll teach them how to do it too!

OpenLocust

15. The (Almost) First Words

three different types of alcoholic drinks on a tablePhoto by Brian Jones on Unsplash

I worked in an inclusive preschool for a bit, and many of our students were either nonverbal or limited verbal. We brought in green limeade with snack one day, and one of the little boys, who could barely speak twenty words, shouted "IT'S A MARGARITA!" at the top of his lungs. It was the first full sentence he had ever said.

It was amazing, and we laughed so hard, and he loved it. His verbal abilities started rapidly increasing afterward. But we all knew what mommy did at home. If your limited verbal child can name a margarita, that means they're seeing a LOT of margaritas.

bird0026

16. Uncle’s Extended Stay

My sister works in a primary school in Wishaw, which is a pretty rough part of Scotland. Once, as usual after a weekend, she said to the children, “Good morning, children! How was everyone's weekend?” A kid piped up, “Ma Uncle is staying wi us.” The teacher, of course, responded with something like, “Aw, that’s nice!” The kid wasn’t finished and completed their tidbit by saying, “Aye, he's hidin fae the Polis!”

MsBobbyJenkins

17. Cuffing It Up

This kid was, at the time, probably around only 9 years old. Her parents had their own bathroom and she had been poking around in there. Because, of course, kids do that kind of stuff. As she poked around, she found a pair of handcuffs. Because she was a child, she just assumed that it had to have something to do with her dad’s job.

When she thought back on this memory as a teenager, it immediately occurred to her that her father was not a cop, and he did not work security either.

citrus_mystic

18. A Doughy Story

focus photography of person counting dollar banknotesPhoto by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

I was teaching the first grade in Central America and in the lunch line, one of the boys saw me pay with what looked like a lot of cash. He looked up at me and said, "My dad has a lot of cash too. He keeps it in boxes in his closet." I actually had a decent relationship with his dad and told him about the comment. He just looked at me with a smile and called it go money.

late-night-dave

19. A Relaxing Weekend

I was asked what I did with my dad over the weekend. I said, "Nothing. All dad did all weekend was sit in bed drinking and sleeping. He didn't do anything else all weekend." What I didn't tell my teacher was that my father was sick all weekend and needed bed rest and juice/water. The teacher reasonably assumed my dad had drinking issues and a call went home to confirm everything was alright.

manofruber

20. Stepdaughter’s New Clothes

My stepdaughter is a pretty difficult child. She is diagnosed with ADHD and ODD and my significant other and I think she is probably FASD as well. Me and her butt heads like no other! Well, it got to the point where she refused to wear any other clothing than what seemed like just three shirts and I was getting sick of arguing with her.

So, when her teachers noticed that there was some dirt on one of the shirts (because I am not doing her laundry every three days), they asked her about it, and she told them we didn’t own a washing machine. She had been going to this school for almost four years by this point. The teachers called me to ask if everything was ok financially and so I informed them that we did indeed have a washing machine.

Hero_For_a_Day2

21. It Happened One Night

a car with its lights on in the darkPhoto by Cash Macanaya on Unsplash

Once a super quiet tenth grader, whom I probably heard speaking only twice in the entire year, proclaimed that she was the product of a one-night stand. I was shocked that she spoke out in class and with what she said too. So, of course, I said, “What?” She went on to explain that her mom was under the influence at a bar and got impregnated in some guy’s car. After she stopped sharing all the family secrets, the entire class looked at me and I just said, “Thank you for sharing.”

Education programs do not prepare you for those moments.

MasterBaker325

22. My Way Or The Highway

I had a student who was an absolute terror. He bullied the other students and constantly disrupted lessons. His mother was just as bad. She would routinely stop by to "visit" my classroom and would sit there and give me the stank eye. Then she would go to the principal with made-up stories of my inability to teach and/or my bias against her son. She would call meetings with district-level administrators and rail against me for hours.

One day, I was asking my students if they could write down their addresses for a class project we were doing. "The Terror" gave me an address that is different from the one we had on record. In fact, the address was in the next town 15 miles away. What he didn't know was, he'd just revealed his mother's secret. He and his mother had moved nine months earlier but had neglected to register in their new school district (as is required).

I notified my principal and the next day "The Terror" was gone. The icing on the cake was that Terror Mom was sued by our school district for the loss of funds during that 9-month period.

CaptainCodeine

23. Sleeping Tight

I work with preschool and elementary-aged kids, so I hear a lot of things. The one that comes to mind: I was meeting with a preschool child and her parent. The child was drawing a picture with crayons while I talked with the mother. Out of nowhere, the kid looked up from her drawing and loudly declared, “Mommy sleeps in her bed without clothes!”

I expected the mother to be embarrassed. Instead, without missing a beat, she looked at her daughter and firmly said, “What did I tell you? Don’t tell other people about my business!”

jackleggjr

24. Bigger Things On The Mind

a group of children playing with toys on the floorPhoto by BBC Creative on Unsplash

I worked at a summer daycare when I was 18. I asked a 7-year-old child why her mom didn't pack her lunch like she did every day. I thought that maybe the mom was out of town and the dad had forgotten. She replied, "My mom had surgery on her chest to make it bigger and she forgets a lot of things." She even pointed at the area in question in case I didn't know what she was talking about. I was speechless.

cppadam

25. Sensitive Stomachs

I’m a full-time nanny to two girls who are seven and ten. One day, I arrived at work and the ten-year-old answered the door and let me in. The first thing she says to me when she sees me is, “Mom is upstairs in the bathroom. She’s been in the bathroom all night and all morning! She ate something that really messed her up!”

I laughed and pretty much expressed myself as “oh no.” All the while, I couldn’t help thinking that I was glad her mom was upstairs and didn’t hear her tell me that information! Things came full circle though. This happened recently when I had a bathroom emergency after I got back to their house from picking them up from school.

I couldn’t help thinking about how they were probably going to tell their parents all about it. Both girls have a serious tattling problem.

sundayriley222

26. A Wet Blanket

I was an elementary librarian, and I was telling the kids how they mustn’t get the books wet or take them in the bath, as the pages would get wrinkly and destroyed. One kid stood up and said, very sweetly, “My mom says she finally found a good lotion for wrinkles, maybe we could put that on the books?”

mythandriel17

27. That Famous Relative Story

group of people near bonfire near trees during nighttimePhoto by Tegan Mierle on Unsplash

I worked at a summer camp one year where campers were continuously coming in and out. I had this cute girl as one of my campers one day. She was very peppy and talkative. She told me all about how she got VERY expensive presents for her past birthdays from her uncle. Of course, I smiled and said, "Oh, that's nice of your uncle."

She then said, "Yep. He made a lot of money." I went ahead and politely asked, "Oh? And what does he do for work?" She replied, "He's a teacher... no, wait, that was just pretend. He acted as a teacher in a movie. You've probably seen him before." I laughed a little and smiled at her and asked, "Oh yeah? What movie is he in?" I absolutely was not prepared for her answer:

She looked at me point blank and said "Harry Potter. My uncle is Professor Snape...or, he used to be before he passed...The cast was at the funeral. Emma Watson is really nice." That day was such a haze, I barely remembered anything until I got home and remembered that interaction again and thought, "What in the world?"

I still can't remember WHO I interacted with. Her dad picked her up but to this day I'm not sure who I met. I'm not sure if it was one of Alan Rickman's brothers or a sibling of his wife, but it’s the closest I've come to meeting a celebrity.

prettyxxreckless

28. Free Jollies

The kids in class were talking about how expensive the local theme park was to get into. One of the kids said that his dad had shown him how to go through the stormwater drains to get in for free. He then said that it's OK, because his dad said it wasn't wrong to do so. So, the whole class should go there for free some time.

LobbydaLobster

29. Cooler Than Thou

My dad is a law enforcement officer and in first grade during a “my dad is cooler than your dad” argument, I told a few kids in class that my dad had been shot. We had so many bouquets and casseroles and letters of condolences delivered to our door that night. My dad thought it was hilarious and was stoked that my mom’s best friend brought over his favorite lasagna.

However, my mom wrote a big letter to my teacher the next morning saying that he was, in fact, very much alive.

Hysterria

30. Smashing It!

yellow and black excavator on brown brick wall during daytimePhoto by Gene Gallin on Unsplash

My youngest son had just started school and the teacher was asking what their parents did for work. My son said, "My dad breaks into houses and smashes them up." The teacher then rang my wife to ask if everything at home was ok. They, then, told my wife about my son's comment. I had to clarify that, “No, son, your dad works in demolition. That’s all.” One year on and it still feels awkward going to his school.

Gussballs

31. Skimming It

I had an eighth-grade student whose father ran for—and won—the local political office. It was either the city council or something like that, I don’t remember exactly. We were talking about elections in the class, and she raised her hand and mentioned that her dad won his recent election. The problem was, she kept going—and said too much.

She added the gem “and he was accused of something called embezzlement, but he didn’t do that, he only used campaign money to pay for stuff for our family.” I wanted to tell her that uh, that’s what embezzlement is, but I didn’t say that. I just gave her a generic “very interesting thanks for sharing” and quickly moved on.

AccusedOak04

32. Wash It All Down

This kid in my class told everyone in the class that his dad dips his bacon in a glass of water during breakfast and calls it bacon water, and drinks it on most of the mornings. The kid was just talking up a storm even before he said this, and no one was really listening until then. However, then the whole class turned their heads and was like what?!!

This kid had NO idea that bacon water was not a staple of most people’s breakfasts. It was hands down the funniest moment of my teaching career.

drbeakumzPhD

33. Striking Gold

black flat screen computer monitorPhoto by Nick Chong on Unsplash

A family friend of mine is a CEO of a fairly large company. His daughter was in the fake stock trading club at her school, and she bought a bunch of stock in his company. The teacher, not knowing that her dad owned the said company asked why she had bought those shares. So, she revealed to the teacher that they had plans to be bought out by a much bigger company in the field.

The Dad had to talk with the teacher after class and warned her that it would be insider trading if she acted on the words the daughter had said. Enough said.

UniquesComparison

34. Excuse My Manners (Or Not)

I was in the eighth-grade science class. My teacher knew my mom as she was a teacher in the district too and was also in leadership roles throughout the years. My mom, being from the south, is quite proper when outside of our home. Anyway, one day I burped really loudly in class by accident and my teacher said, “What would your mother say?”

I replied, “Oh, it’s ok. We have burping contests at the dinner table.” My teacher laughed out loud, and must have told my mom at some point, because she later came to me and said she couldn’t believe I said that to her. Still a story we tell today, some thirty years later.

chic_pea

35. Say Cheese!

I was the mom on a field trip to the police station with my adopted son. I was friends with the wife of the officer giving the tour. The kids were doing mugshots, and officer Bob was telling them about how he tried to get suspects to relax a bit when he took the photos so that they looked more natural. Kids, of course, ask questions.

My son asked, "Have you ever taken _________'s photo?" Officer Bob replied, "Yes, I've seen her a lot of times." My son responded, "She's my birth mom!" Officer Bob stammered a bit but managed to say that she was a very pleasant person to deal with.

Asianstomach

36. Heavenly Delights

person slicing vegetablePhoto by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

I teach culinary at the local vocational school—to both high school and adult groups—and we were talking about how tradition plays into food especially around the holidays. I asked for examples from my students and one of my high school girls proudly raised her hand and said, “Well, most people put angels or stars on top of their trees. We always use a Bud Light can.”

Not really what I was going for when I asked the students for examples, but good information.

cdubaus10

37. Under The Skin

When I was teaching college-level introductory biology in grad school, the main lecturer told an anecdote. They said that one time one of his students came up to him after his heredity lecture and showed a simple Punnett square that she had doodled of her and her boyfriend's blood phenotypes. She wanted to make sure she had done it right.

She wanted to be sure because if so, then it meant that her boyfriend wasn't the father of her baby. The lecturer checked her work and awkwardly confirmed that she had, indeed, created the Punnett square right. She, apparently, stared at her notes quite sadly and murmured something about brief relationships during the period.

Supposedly the reason we don't test blood types in class anymore, besides the obvious sanitary reasons, is that it wasn't uncommon for kids to do Punnett squares on themselves and their parents and realize that something didn't add up.

CorvidaeSF

38. Skeleton In The Cupboard

Once, an eighth-grader told me excitedly, “Mrs. Teacher, guess what I found out? My grandpa was a Nazi!” This may have been brand new information for the student going by her excitement. So, I asked her, “Do you know what that word means?” She instantly replied that she did not, in fact, know what it meant.

So, I suggested to her, “Maybe you should go talk to your mom about that.” She must have taken my suggestion to her heart for she came in the next day and went, “Yeah, my mom told me I can’t tell people about my grandpa anymore.”

rosiedokidoki

39. Painful To Hear And To Bear

woman in black tank top covering her face with her handsPhoto by Julia Taubitz on Unsplash

I used to teach. I had one kid who would tell me every month when her mom was on her period. She would say something along the lines of, "Mrs. A, my mom is bleeding from her butt again." At least, I hope that is what was going on or that poor lady had some severe hemorrhoids. That would have been painful.

lvlarie84

40. Flying News

I was a kindergarten room mom and during the "what did you do over the summer" sharing, a little girl told the class the most horrifying story I've ever heard. She talked about how on her trip to Hawaii, her dad had ridden a motorcycle and lost control, and it went over a cliff and he didn't make it. At pick-up time the teacher quietly said to the mom, "I'm so sorry about your husband."

The mom simply rolled her eyes up to the heavens and said, "Oh geesh. What has she been saying?" It turns out that her husband was perfectly fine, and they hadn't even left the town over the summer.

Mybabyhadamullet

41. Getting Warmer

I once had a student who explained to me that all his neighbors were mad at his dad. I asked him why this was the case. The kid went on to clarify the cause by telling me that his dad had started a fire for insurance money and, thus, lit the whole carport on fire. Many cars were lit on fire that night. No wonder, his neighbors were feeling fiery.

sunshineC.

42. An Almost Cliffhanger

yacht sailing near island during daytimePhoto by Jairph on Unsplash

In first grade, we had to make daily journal entries. I related a gem to my teacher through one such entry. I wrote, “We went to Orlando for a week. My mom was trying to light her smoke and almost drove our car over a cliff.” My teacher was pleased with my writing and wrote A++. My mom, however, was not as pleased.

goldenbrain8

43. Sending A Smile

I was a preschool photographer a few years ago. There was this one boy who came onto my set. He couldn’t have been more than four at the time. He said he “wanted to smile real good for Daddy, who crashed his motorcycle and went to Heaven.” I looked at the teacher and she said that it had happened a month or so prior to the day.

I had to fight so hard not to cry. He didn’t understand his dad wasn’t coming back because he was no more. I liked to use words other than “cheese” to get the kids to smile. For instance, I use words like bunny, puppy, kitty, etc. When it came time for this boy’s picture he said, “No, I wanna say Daddy!” This sweet boy gave the best smiles that day and was so full of silly, joyful energy.

Later, while waiting for his classmates to finish getting their pictures, I overheard him ask his teacher, “When is Daddy coming home? I miss him. When can I see Daddy?” It was a rough day after that.

artslave13

44. Spelling Bee

I teach preschool. One day my kids were pretending to have a restaurant and were ‘writing,’ aka scribbling, each other’s orders. One older kid was actually learning to write and would ask me how to spell food items. He came up to me and said, “How do you spell whiskey?” I asked him why he wanted to spell that. He told me, “That’s my dad’s favorite drink!”

I told his mom because I thought it was funny, but unfortunately, this fact was related to why she and dad weren’t together anymore.

DreamSquid

45. Foreshadowing

women's white dressPhoto by Devon Divine on Unsplash

I had a little girl tell me every day for like a month that her mommy had a baby in her tummy. I knew that her mom didn’t want more kids for the time being, so we laughed about it all the time. Then, one day, the little girl’s mom comes to pick her up and I’m like oh man, your daughter was talking about the ‘new baby’ again!

That’s when the mom tells me that she actually took a test the day before and it was positive!

DreamSquid

46. Wise Beyond Her Years

I am a bus driver and E started riding my bus in January. She noticed that I was knitting a glove on my dashboard and asked who it was for. I told her it was for my daughter, Lucy. She asked if Lucy had any brothers or sisters. So, I told E that Lucy was going to have a little brother, but he didn’t make it. What E said next surprised me with her maturity.

Having heard me, E went on to tell me, “That happened to my mom too. It was really hard on her.” That was maybe the most mature conversation I’ve had with anyone in 2021. I came to find out later that E is a mere nine years old. On a seemingly completely unrelated note, she went on to tell me how mac and cheese is her favorite food.

anaugle

47. Unexpectedly Real Role Models

When I was in fourth grade, we each had a role model come into the class. I brought in a friend of my dad's. When my teacher asked how we knew each other, I happily stated, "My dad and him met in AA!"

consciouskittykat

48. Breathing In

man and woman sitting on chairsPhoto by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

When we were in the ninth grade, learning about substance use in the health class, my friend raised his hand and said, “My dad does not smoke the usual stuff anymore.” The teacher said, “That’s amazing. I’m so happy for him.” The said friend then went on to complete the fact. He continued by saying, “Yeah, he smokes other things now.”

bluepac1996

49. Massaging The Troubles Away

I had a seven-year-old student whose mother was a massage therapist. The student was happy to refer me to her. He, thus, gave me his mom’s business card and said, “She’s a massage therapist and could give you a nice massage. But she overcharges. Like she charges way too much because she likes to buy expensive things.”

barefootbri

50. Flexing It

One day the visiting yoga teacher came to a third-grade class I was covering. Once there, she then introduced herself to the class and went on to ask if anyone knew what yoga was. A little boy, innocent as can be, said, “Yes! I have seen my parents do it and I have to knock from now on because they like to do it without clothes on!"

papadukesilver

Words matter.

That is a life truth ignored far too often.

I know emotions can run high.

But we really need to acknowledge how we use language toward one another.

It can have a life long-lasting effect.

Think before you speak. That is one of life's greatest mantras.

Keep reading...Show less

Everyone jokes about not liking small talk and how ridiculous it is to talk about the weather, sports, and the traffic all the time.

But compared to the most uncomfortable questions someone might ask, those dull topics might be the way to go.

Keep reading...Show less