People with Dissociative Identity Disorder Reveal Who Their Alters Are And How They Affect Daily Life
Media tends to portray Dissociative Identity Disorder - what many people know as "multiple personality disorder" a certain way. If you've ever seen Sally Field's performance in the movie Sybil, you know what I mean. As far as movies and television are concerned, it's several different personalities who don't know one another all sharing a body. They fight for control, ruin things for one another, and have little to no awareness of what the other is doing.
But what does having DID look like for real sufferers on a day to day basis?
One Reddit user asked:
People with Dissociative Identity Disorder, who are your alters and how do they affect your everyday life?
As happens so often with the media - reality usually isn't that close to what we see on our screens. Quite a few brave people responded, and their answers are really enlightening.
Not Like TV
I was diagnosed with DID a few years ago. I live in England.
For many, including myself, there are no alters, its not like on TV. All the "me's" are me.
Imagine there is a me who hates bananas and a me who loves them. When my mind responds to stress, it might be banana lover me who is in control. 'Control' means heavy influence, not complete, cast iron domination. But the banana hating me is fucking miserable with the banana spree, so she screams in my ear so loudly, so incessantly, that I both love bananas, hate bananas and am just so fucking confused.
I do have episode of lost memory, and complete dissociation, but those episodes are rare. Perhaps two in a bad year. I might come to myself and realise I have bought £800 worth of bananas. I might find a bunch I don't recall buying.
I have spent a loooot of time in the nuthouse. A lot. I have never met a fellow DID with alters. I have met many people with severe BPD who dozens of them.
I am NOT gatekeeping DID. I live in England, and am diagnosed privately & under the NHS. I don't know the US criteria, nor the prevailing attitudes the psychs there have I strive to support every brother & sister of mine fighting their own mind. But, whereas I will tell anyone I meet about the rest of my mental health landscape, I tend to keep the DID diagnosis to myself because it is so deeply misunderstood. I have met others with this diagnosis who have the same problem.
If you have ever seen Deep Space 9, Jadzia Dax has very, very similar experienced to DID, but handles it beautifully. The episodes where she is replaced by Ezri show the bad side of it.
I am happy to answer questions, with love, but, DID is a bit different in life than it is on Tumblr.
The Hulk Needs Black Widow
I suffer from BPD. Borderline personality disorder. But, the idea of me having DID has been tossed around.
Mostly, I do things and then later can't believe I have done them. I will have faint memories but they feel more like dreams. I will say things to others and barely remember even talking with them at all. It is like someone else had control of me during that episode. I don't hear voices (at least I don't think I do. I have intuition, of course but, I don't have more than that one voice helping me make decisions each day)
With my meds, I am pretty good. Keeps episodes down to a very minimum (once a year or less). But, I have to rotate between a few different concoctions due to tolerances.
Prior to my wife convincing me to get help, I would have moments of full black out anger. Thankfully, I only ever directed this at myself and inanimate objects. (I would hit myself and break things). And, strangely, my wife could eventually pull me out of it and I would come back not really realizing what I had done or said. (She actually can't watch the scene where Black Widow calms down the Hulk. She said it just brings up too many traumatic memories)
I also have a mountain of other diagnosed issues. MDD. Bi-Polar. ADHD. I stutter badly.... Pretty much, my brain chemistry is fucked.
When I am the regular me, I am nice and kind and fun to be around. But, when the demon comes, it isn't good. I thank my wife daily for dealing with me for so long. She just says I am lucky I am cute otherwise she would have kicked me to the curb. She's a strong woman and a wonderful mother. She took care of 2 kids and me.
Mental Illness is no joke. I sure wish it would stop getting treated like it is.
My friend's dad has DID due to a history of child abuse, which was then heavily triggered, because he worked in journalism, often on child abuse stories, which just wore him down after a while. The person at the top of the thread that said, it's all "me" and not like characters on a TV show is totally right. I love United States of Tara but it is nothing like that.
He is probably in his early 60's, and I have only seen one alter personally. I didn't even realize it was an alter. Apparently, when he gets stressed, he gets a little like a teenage boy super obsessed with comics, Star Wars, all that stuff. I found this out because we have a very long and in-depth conversation on Godzilla. I guess that is just a happy place for him, so that's what happened.
Secondhand, I have heard from my friend that he does have an alter that basically does not want to be a husband or father. He joins dating sites, has lashed out violently at his adult children, and has no recollection of any of this. He genuinely is the sweetest person, so it was shocking for me to hear this, because my friend's family is super close. It has just been something they learn to deal with, and from my understanding, this angry personality is not a common thing. He is much more likely to slip into teenage boy obsessing over nerd culture state.
My alters are me. They don't have names and they don't "come out" very often. For example, only one has been "out" so far in 2018.
Between mid-February and late May I lost a lot of time. I can't remember attending my sisters birthday, even though there are photos of me with her from that night. I can't remember spending almost £400 on camping equipment on ebay (I don't even like camping), and I can't remember sending an e-mail to my University department head telling him I was dropping out. I'm a heavy smoker, but I would randomly find my cigarettes in the bin. I'm a nail biter, but I would suddenly realize that my nails were clipped and filed down. It's just silly things like that. I hear them in my head, and I talk to them more often than they "come out". Mostly, they comfort me when I'm in a bad place, but sometimes they're very harsh with me. Cruel, occasionally. (edit: I'm aware I'm talking to myself when this happens, but lots of mes in different moods)
I don't have a lot of friends and I'm not close to my parents, but my sister, brother-in-law and best friend of 20 years have met at least one of my alters. The general impression I got from them was that the change isn't dramatic like you see on TV. For example, whichever alter my friend met maintains eye contact when speaking, which I can't do. They also don't swear, whereas I have a really bad habit of swearing in every second sentence. The most intimidating thing my friend told me was that the alter "looked different" somehow, like they wore facial expressions that she had never seen me display in the 20 years we've known one another. But no, they didn't rush off to change clothes, they didn't talk in a different accent and they didn't do anything bad.
I resent saying this, but my experience of DID is very "boring" compared to most fictional portrayals. And I resent saying that because on bad days, I'm so miserable that I want to kill myself. Losing time, even if it doesn't happen often, terrifies me and I spend a lot of time just waiting for it to happen again. Sometimes I just feel so empty inside that I just spend weeks lying in bed, thinking and feeling nothing. Sometimes I have no idea who I am, and I don't actually think I'm real. But other times I'm alright, and I just get on with things. Therapy has really helped me.
Organization Is Key
Hi. I'm in the US, diagnosed and in treatment. Almost 40, female.
All of the dissociative parts of my personality are aware that we are one person. We perceive reality very differently, and feel differently about it, but accept that we're parts of the whole. We know our legal name, the body age, etc. We feel detached from it in a variety of different ways, but we know it's reality.
My everyday life consists of each of my parts trying to do the best they can, just like anybody else. We get up, we keep our body clean and healthy, we socialize and work, we have passions and interests, etc. We have to spend a lot of time working on inner alignment and resolving inner conflict and we spend a lot of time in therapy, reading, writing, self-analyzing, and other types of "doing the work".
The biggest challenges we face are related to our trauma, and the other disorders it spawned. General anxiety and panic attacks, intense phobias, nightmares, flashbacks, etc. Relationships are really tough too.
I've also organized the sh*t out of our life. I'm a professional project manager and use the things I've learned on myself, regularly, to try and help us function as a team. Like I keep a lot of lists so that whoever comes out has a battle plan and knows what's been done already.
Don't Need Them Anymore
I have 8 alters and then myself. Most of them are quiet and not around much (a couple not at all). The most prevalent are a 4 yo girl, a woman in her early 20's and myself. It is very rare that I lose any time and I am most likely what would be called a gate keeper or main "personality." I believe that the 4 yo is the original though.
My issues stem from childhood loss, one alter is a result of molestation and the teen alter is around because the 8 yo alter that was molested hid away. The young woman is the nurturer and caregiver of the home and children (she was a single mother of my oldest daughter). She married a man who was violent and tried to destroy who she was as a person mentally and nearly killed her so I took over. I carry all the memories of the violence in the marriage. Then there is another alter who is the protector but she isn't around anymore because we don't need her. There are others but their parts to play are minimal and rare.
I am in a position in my life right now where I don't need them anymore. Some I am unsure if they even exist anymore or if they are just quiet. I don't know where they are to be honest. The 4 yo comes and goes and shes a delight. I would love to merge the young woman and myself because I think our qualities compliment one another and would make me a more well rounded woman.
Not Even The Problem
I have DID and there are a whole bunch of us, but probably about four, including me, who handle most situations on the "outside." The rest either mainly handle situations on the inside, they have more specialized skills, or they would just really rather stay inside. Honestly I couldn't get through life without their help. We survived our childhood as a team and, while some people get us into some weird situations, we're all just trying to heal. I know I couldn't have survived what we went through alone.
I know for me, the other alters aren't really my "problem." My poor mental health is because of the flashbacks and other symptoms of trauma, and the other alters and I have to handle these effects together. If I had a magic wand, I personally wouldn't want to heal the DID, despite the grief certain alters have given me, but I'd definitely want to heal our PTSD and other mental health issues.
I'm not going to use our real names on here on the incredibly off chance that someone recognizes us, but here's a rundown of the main four fronters:
Alter #1 (me): Host. I do school, work, and family stuff. I don't really know how to describe myself but I usually do well in school, though I've been struggling lately. I'm pretty patient and I'm a good listener, which helps with friendships. I'm nerdy so I like to stay in and do stuff in small groups or with one other person.
Alter #2: Protector. She's very stoic, reserved, and formal. She is a lot faster, stronger, and wittier than I am. She comes out when we feel physically and sometimes emotionally threatened. She handled a lot of physical abuse and mental games. She enjoys hiking, sports, and leather jackets and is actually a lot like Rosa from Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
Alter #3: Internal Self-Helper. She's very submissive and shy, but she's coming out of her shell. She soothes alters on the inside if they're upset and she helps us regulate flashbacks or other intense emotion. She handled a lot of the emotional manipulation (ex. women's roles, "I love you... just kidding," "God wants you to do X," etc.) and sexual abuse from our primary abuser. She likes knitting, cooking, cat videos, that kind of thing but she absolutely HATES germs.
Alter #4: Protector. She's very outspoken and flirty. She used to drink, party, get us into trouble, etc. but she's incredibly helpful and friendly now, and will sometimes take over for me if I need a break with school. We were forced to provide "adult entertainment" in our childhood as part of our cycle of abuse. She's the one who experienced most of that. She's interested in fashion, being outdoors, and board games with friends.
I Was Never One Person
So when most people think of DID, they think that there is one original identity that splits into parts due to trauma, but that's not actually how it works.
DID is caused by trauma during very early childhood, during the time when children are actually going through a stage of development when something called "identity integration" is naturally happening. During this stage of development, children naturally develop one cohesive sense of self, where they can naturally shift from one identity state to another seamlessly, and with a flowing, natural autobiographical memory. For example, they might behave differently at school than they do at home, or with their friends, or with their grandmother, but they are still the same child in all those situations, and they maintain their sense of self and their memories during all those situations.
A child exposed to severe trauma and repeated dissociation does not experience identity integration. Their identity forms in pieces. I was never one person. I have always been many pieces.
Drape A Film
I'm one of those alters, made an account just for this. From the outside we don't seem too different from anyone else. (Maybe a little eccentric, but that's not really related to DID.) Basically we all work together to take care of the body and support the host. They also take care of us to a certain degree.
We were formed because of trauma.
When there's situations that the host can't handle, one of us steps in. Sometimes we use the body completely but more often we sort of drape a 'film' over the every day world, if that makes sense. Everything is experienced at a slight difference. It's like wearing tinted glasses, the world is still the world but it's coloured differently.
Anyway I'm the only one who's 'fronted' as myself. I used to have my own friends separate from the host's but we drifted away which kind of sucks. NGL it can get a little lonely, but it is what it is. Sometimes the host and I integrate to a certain extent. It's disorienting to both of us. Not necessarily a bad thing though. I feel like we're more balanced when we're together but it's also weird because then its more his life than mine, you know? If we could be reincarnated I'd want to be my own person. I think I'd form a rock band.
The host tends to be a little ... lets people get away with a lot of stuff I guess. Lets people be mean or abusive towards him. I don't. If I can get control I'm more likely to tell people to fuck off or just walk away from the situation. I can also handle anger a lot better than him -- when he gets upset he self-injures, when I get upset I just sit with it and wait for it to go away.
We have different preferences for music and different writing style. I feel like I'm a little more motivated too. I'm more willing to sit and work away at something but the host's like, something has to happen right away!
Other than me, there's:
Isiah -- chill guy, likes people and customer service so yeah he comes out sometimes when we have to get through long work days. Likes ice cream so sometimes after a bad day we walk to get some
Ichi -- Isiah's friend, kinda gloomy but a good guy.
?? -- someone else, doesn't come out much but it's cool when she does. I think she's younger than the rest of us, doesn't talk much. When she's out we sometimes look like a typical "crazy" person, like walking in circles and humming to ourselves and someone's gotta watch the body to make sure we don't wander off the subway tracks or something.
Recently, we've all been a little more integrated with one another. Not sure why. We tend to split more when there's more stress.
Part Of A System
Well we are a system for someone who has DID. The central person is purely internal, they never face outwardly. Facing is up to the rest of us. There are 4 main people, 2 secondary (think highly specialized) and then the "core" which is actually 2 people. So 8 on total.
Right now we're working on integration. The workhorse of our group is finally feeling emotion and it's been really overwhelming and painful. Imagine having absolutely no emotional experiences for 30 years and then one day you feel a twinge of frustrating and the next day you're so full of rage you want to break anything you can get your hands on.... It's been hard, but we have good support. We support each other, and we have really amazing people in of life, and an especially good therapist.
I don't think most people would ever be able to tell we're a system identity. The whole point of DID is protecting and surviving, and being at all off inhibits that. So we have struggles, but most people are none the wiser that they are talking to a completely different identity; they just chalk it up to me being a little forgetful now and then.
Any engaged couple looks forward to the big day when after months of planning, they get to tie the knot and declare their love in front of family and friends.
What could possibly go wrong?
It turns out there are so many variables that can contribute to making the bride and groom's celebration a major matrimonial miss.
Curious to hear examples of weddings gone wrong, Redditor lolf**kno asked:
"Those who have been to a ruined wedding, what happened?"
Dramatic brawls and speeches plagued these weddings.
Catty Attendees And Booze
"Very beautiful wedding in a huge barn at this apple orchard. They must have spent a ton of money on the decorations and catering because it looked like something out of a magazine. The ceremony was great, the flower girl did her thing, the vows got everyone choked up. Everything seemed to be going well. Not even 15 minutes into the reception the mothers of the bride and groom getting into a full out brawl, hair pulling, red wine being thrown. Their sons jump in to defend their honor, chairs start being throw, tables are flipped, parents are grabbing children and running for their lives."
"The bride and groom are horrified and leave immediately and head back their honeymoon suite. My fiancé and I left after this as well but we heard from some other friends that most people ended up staying and getting wasted at the open bar on the bride and groom's dime. Apparently, the fight started because one of the groom's sister complimented the bride's grandmother's dress. The bride's mom thought she was being sarcastic and called her a b*tch, then the drama ensued. Mind you they had all been pregaming the wedding pretty hard."
Playing For The Drunk Uncle
"I played a wedding where as we started playing the set, everyone ran outside and nobody was to be seen for the rest of the night."
"I originally assumed it was because nobody liked us but the bride came in afterwards and said there was a huge fight involving multiple members of both families and everyone basically went home upset, injured or in a police van."
"We couldn't stop playing since we were payed and it was our job, and the only person watching was the drunk uncle dancing on his own asking for requests we didn't know."
Maid Of Honor Speech Goes Off The Rails
"Was a guest of friend of the bride, did not know anyone attending. Very expensive over the top place, several hundred guests of this very Italian wedding. Maid of honor grabs mic at the cocktail hour begins her speech, rambling, drunk. Quickly devolves to stating the recently deceased mother of the bride was against this wedding and that's basically what killed her. Plus Vinny will never give up sex workers. She is tackled by several people and dragged away."
"The happy couple is separated and divorced within a year."
This is what happens when bad luck crashes weddings.
Tumbling Into The Sunset
"I work at a golf course with a lot of history behind it. We do wedding venues inside the clubhouse and the actual ceremony is held outside by the historic water fountain and large pond."
"First problem was the weather. I live in the high desert and it was very warm. A solid 90 degrees that day and it was also pretty windy. So everyone's outside, no umbrellas, no ezups."
"The next problem, and probably the worst, was the golf cart incident. The bride and groom wanted to 'ride into the sunset' on one of our golf carts. Drive around a little bit on the golf course. To be fair, it is beautiful on the course during sunset. However the cart had somehow gotten a nail in the tire, tire went flat, battery on the cart went crazy and the cart ended up freaking out. It came to an complete stop from 15mph to zero. The wheels and mechanisms locked up, almost seizing. Both the bride and groom (fairly overweight mind you) both fell out and rolled over a few times. They were totally okay, just a few bruises and perhaps a bruised ego or two. So retrieving that cart was fun."
"And last but not least, the power inside the clubhouse went out to do the high winds. There was no after party available. Only the cake was cut, hardly any food was given out. Yeah, not a great day to cover for someone on your day off."
"I was not born yet, but my parents rented the observation deck on the Hancock building in Boston for their reception. Tallest building in the city, beautiful view. My dad pored over historic weather charts to figure out what day was statistically most likely to be nice out. Day of the wedding comes and of course, thick fog unlike anything they'd ever seen before. Couldn't see a thing out the windows of the room they had picked specifically for the view."
"Worked out well though, they were happily married for nearly 30 years before cancer took my dad's life a few years ago."
"There's one other funny anecdote from that wedding: The wedding was held in Kings Chapel, which is an incredibly historic church here in downtown Boston that's somewhat of a major tourist attraction. To close that on a weekend afternoon for a wedding, it turns out, was not very expensive. The tourists waiting outside to see the church didn't know that, though, and someone started the rumor that my parents were incredibly wealthy, maybe even Kennedys. As a result, there were tons of people taking photos of them when they left the ceremony. Not sure if any of them ever figured out that my parents were most certainly not rich or famous."
"I was best man at my sister in laws wedding (stepped in for the brother of the groom, that's another story entirely)."
"For a whole year of planning all the bride (SIL) wanted was a dove release while they said handwritten vows to each other. Very small, non denominational (most of the family are atheist anyway) wedding."
"Day arrives (early summer) and something is off with the bird handlers. They show up a bit late and are sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time comes to say their vows I help the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to what is to be the altar where the bride and groom are standing."
"Vows are just about wrapping up and the handler gives ME the signal to open the chest. I open it and see 20-30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE!!!! I immediately close it to try and limit who knows what happened. Too late. The look of horror on the bride's was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up but by the end of the reception the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on."
Tragic losses unfortunately befell leading up to or at a couple's nuptials.
The Wedding Guest Who Left Too Soon
"When I was 6 or 7 I went to a cousin's wedding. Everything was fabulous for little me, so much sugar everywhere, basically heaven. The reception was in a big community center that was reserved for the occasion. Went to the girls' bathroom, passing by the men's room to see my uncle on the floor. Went back to the main room to tell my dad my uncle was looking weird. Well, uncle had a stroke and had died."
"The bride spent the rest of the afternoon crying, and everyone except close family left."
"Bright side is the mariage is still going strong 20 years later, despite what happened that day."
A Terminal Diagnosis
"Leading up to my friends wedding his father had been battling cancer after a terminal diagnosis. And it was touch and go whether he would be well enough to attend the wedding, in the end he was too unwell to attend despite wishing that he could."
"Just as we got to the wedding reception my friend was informed that his father had just passed away. It was devastating."
"Happened to my classmate. He is successful middle level manager, divorced, about 35yo or so. Found a girl of his dreams but from a provincial poor town. The girl insisted to have the wedding in her town to show off her 'success.' The wedding is crashed by her old friends including male friends who are not that sophisticated and have some tense feelings towards the successful groom from the city. Somebody starts a fight in the middle of wedding, groom is trying to stop it and got stabbed in the back. Died right there. And he was my classmate."
An Unfortunate Trespassing
"The wedding was at a state park that's famous for its giant gorge/waterfall. I don't know whose idea this was, but someone suggested a photo overlooking this gorge and everybody was game. The wedding party went around a stone security barrier and the maid of honor literally fell off the cliff to her death. It was like 500+ feet."
With a lot riding on a wedding to go off without a hitch, the mounting pressure is one where something is surely to buckle.
And because wedding guests are usually inebriated and high on the buzz of celebration, they throw caution to the wind and make some choices they wouldn't make under normal circumstances.
People's ill-advised actions can have regretful consequences, but no one expects death to be an outcome.
Fortunately, the weddings I've attended or heard about from friends were not as catastrophic as the anecdotes mentioned above.
While the Redditors' stories are sorrowful, it gives me a sense of relief these devastating examples are rare occurrences.
Sometimes I think back to a teacher I had when I was a kid who demanded to know whether any of us were "raised in a barn" in response to crappy behavior. Namely littering. She hated littering. Can you blame her? It's a horrible habit and some people do it with no sense of shame. She dedicated much of her time to telling students to pick up after themselves and dispose of things properly. For that, I'm thankful.
But why didn't anyone else get the memo? The trash I see on the streets is obscene.
People had lots of thoughts to share after Redditor SneakyStriedker876 asked the online community,
"What seemingly uncivilized thing is commonplace in society?"
"We delight in the deaths of others as long as we feel it was justified. But when the reverse happens we act all high and mighty like we wouldn't engage in the same behavior."
"Slaughtering each other..."
"Slaughtering each other via warfare to solve political differences. It's standard policy worldwide."
Indeed it is. And it seems impossible to stop.
"Littering. Especially dropping cigarette butts on the ground/flicking them out the window.
The world is not your personal ashtray/garbage bin."
Every now and then I find new trash in my yard and I am constantly amazed by how nasty people can be.
"Mobbing someone because of their opinion or for a comment they made a long time ago, even if that time was yesterday."
"Xenophobia. The fact that racism and racial violence still exist is an indicator that we're still tribal primates in fancy clothes."
And it makes no sense! It's not based in reality. We are truly a tribal species.
"Shouting while arguing, refusing to listen to the opinions of others, basically the inability to debate and maintain proper communication."
"Letting people die..."
"Letting people die of curable conditions simply because they can't afford healthcare."
Probably the biggest reason why much of the Western world looks at the United States with shame in their eyes.
"Parents forcing their kids to hug family/friends despite the kid being uncomfortable doing it. They feel uncomfortable for a reason."
"During the holiday season..."
"During the holiday season, customers take products off of our online fulfillment carts. Y'all have legs. Get your own."
"Using phone speakers..."
"Using phone speakers in public. I don't care what you and your friend think about that restaurant, or how much that Spotify jam speaks to you. Nobody else wants to hear it."
We truly need to stop all of these, don't you think?
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
I love presents. I try to hide my enthusiasm, and I do my best to appease the greater public by saying "it's the thought that counts." But that is a WHOLE lie. I don't just love gifts, I love great gifts. And if you go rogue from my lists, please keep a receipt. It's just plain rude to divert from what the recipient has requested.
This thought process has emerged from experience. I have received some trash presents over the years and now I'm too old to pretend you just went crazy while shopping. Like... "do you even know me?!"
Redditor u/sulemannkhann wanted to hear all about the presents some of us have received that we prayed, came with a receipt, by asking:
What's the worst birthday gift you ever got?
Have we met? That is an actual question I asked a gift giver once. (Who shall rename nameless) Football tickets. FOOTBALL TICKETS?! Who? What? I can't.
Looks FamiliarBroad City Wow GIF by Comedy CentralGiphy
"My own scarf. Yes, that's right, my mother went into my room took my only scarf, wrapped it and gave it to me like it was a new scarf."
"Thought I was getting a bike for my 15th birthday but my foster parents announced that they were sending me to a group home after living with them for 11 years. Devastation! That place was a wake up call. More independence then at my foster home but those kids had it really really bad, 12 year old heroine addicts, abuse... what the entire hell! I hurried up, graduated from high school at 16 and got the hell out of that place. I turned out ok, work in the legal field, live in Las Vegas. I did forgive my foster parents before they died."
The Forgotten One
"My brother and I worked for a farmer one summer, and he paid us with a used car. At the end of the next year, my brother graduated high school, so my parents paid me out for my half of the car, and that was his graduation gift. I gave them all a big discount compared to what it was worth. So like $500 for my share of a $2500 car."
"2 years later, and I needed $50 for some graduation fees, so I borrowed it from my mom until I could get to the bank. (Before mobile banking and ATMs everywhere.) Later, when my mom is telling me they invited all their friends over for a 'graduation' party, I asked if they had gotten a gift for me. "Well I gave you fifty bucks."
"I paid it back the next day, and she didn't blink. The 'graduation party' was just my parents friends, who said congratulations to me, but it wasn't really for me. A few years later, my little sister graduated, she got a car. They bought a used car for her, and our other little sister got the same when she graduated. My parents are mostly nice, and I never felt like they singled me out at birthdays or anything. Just my graduation seemed like I turned invisible."
Office Party Fail
"HR complaint from two subordinates fighting over how to throw me a surprise birthday party."
"I've never worked in an office environment, but the stories I've heard of people being required to buy a cake for the whole office and to celebrate their birthday with their coworkers would be enough to keep me in blue collar work for life, were it not for the fact that I love being active and working with my hands and could never sit at a desk all day anyway."
Basicslaw school finals GIFGiphy
"My Asian mom's gift was "no extra Kumon homework after school homework" so my birthday gift was that I didn't get extra homework from her."
Regifting is trash behavior. Do better. I'd rather you just say I forgot. Or... I just don't care for that much. But regifting? No.
"Stomach flu and my first ever period, at the same time. I think it was my 13th birthday."
"Omg, exact same story for me. It was my 13th birthday and my family took us kids to visit our relatives in Subsaharan Africa for the first time. I was sick, jetlagged, overheated and riding down a bumpy road in a Jeep driven by my dad in the complete darkness. We had just eaten at a restaurant where I found a giant scarab beetle in the bottom of my soup bowl. I have flashbacks to this day."
"My grandparents have been gifting me (and my brother) the same set of three vice grips for almost 10 years. Collectively we have 60 vice grips. I don't know if they bought a pallet of them, or where they are coming from. GET A GRIP GRANDMA!"
"I had a friend who's father was famous for doing Christmas shopping at the last minute. One year she complained that she went downstairs on Christmas morning and found, sticking out of her stocking, a spatula. Her birthday was a few days after telling that story, so myself and her friends all decided to get together and get her spatulas for her birthday, as a gag gift."
"Well, when it was our birthdays she retaliated. Which lead to a counter-offensive. And soon a new tradition was formed. And guys, I have so many spatulas now. Everything from dollar store cheap plastic, to hand-carved spatulas, a golden spatula, and even a replica of the famous Malaysian fighting spatula."
"I've got seasonal spatulas. As in, today it's time to pack away the Christmas spatulas and bring out the heart-shaped Valentine's day ones, followed by the bunny-shaped Easter ones. We've also been passing around this clip from the Weird Al Yankovic movie UHF. "Spatula City, we sell spatulas, and that's all!"
Their ultimate whack-a-doo move...
"A pair of homemade custom pajamas. Only problem was that they weren't made yet. It was just the fabric and a promise to make them for me. I had to give the fabric back and I never got the pajamas."
"Nothing legal just at our wedding they gave us a card that basically said 'have some land.' When the dust settled I asked what they thought we would do with it, they said build a home. I said ok, gonna need legal ownership for like building a house. They said sure we will get right on that. Then they decide to sell out and retire and never mentioned our wedding 'gift' again."
Gross...Disgusted Steve Carell GIFGiphy
"My grandma got me a hairbrush with a plastic horse head handle. The horse head was all chipped up and there was hair in the brush."
"My Godfather sent me a Birthday card each year which said, he paid 100 bucks to a bank account which I was supposed to get, when 16yo. He then got into alcohol, used all the money and died."
Oh for God sake, why even bother giving anything at all? Lint rollers, used brushes, homemade pjs... y'all ever hear of a gift card? Just put five bucks on it and call it a day. You can't hide cheap, so stop trying.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
I'm still on the fence about this whole extraterrestrial situation. I need more proof. Now I'm not naive enough to think that in this vast, endless universe only the human race exists. I just need proof, tangible, solid, didn't see it from my trailer through beer goggles proof.
I also need proof about the afterlife, another out there topic. Truth be told, I've never been that into this whole conversation. I've got enough daily problems on this planet, let alone worrying about making Will Smith's biggest hits into documentaries and not just popcorn/comedy space farce.
But let's compare thoughts...
Redditor u/ValencikHannibal197 wanted to discuss life beyond this planet, what do we really think? They asked:
What's the best theory on UFOs or aliens you've ever heard??
I definitely wouldn't turn down an excursion to AREA 51. I'd like to poke around and get a sense of the place. I've never personally been up close and face to face with a "non-Earther." Not sure I'd like to be...
TV Truthx files monkey pee GIF by The X-FilesGiphy
"UFOs/Aliens are a cover for all of the secret projects that the government is working on. Actually stole that from the X files."
"How human birth parallels alien abductions:
- Babies are taken from their home (womb)
- They still developing sight, so they see bright lights and grey figures.
- They hear an "alien" language they don't understand.
- They suddenly feel cold after leaving their womb.
- They are in a surgery room being poked with tons of instruments.
Long story short: some people suggest that abductions are just people who had memories of their birth."
In the Mind
"I just don't think anyone will ever see this. But I think that UFO's are the projection of our unconscious collective mind. Everything that exists in reality, also exists, in our immaterial mind. Is it possible that the insides of our mind are also just one drop in the ocean of consciousness... and together we create the material reality were in, simply by experiencing it in a real way, inside-out through our senses."
"My father was an aircraft mechanic and fabricator for test and spy aircraft for the USAF. He spent 75-85 working with test aircraft. He said that when they were going to do a test, that could possibly be seen by the public, they would make a betting pool on how many UFO reports local authorities and flight towers received."
Under the Seasci-fi ufo GIFGiphy
"I like the idea that some UFOs aren't machines. Instead they are some sort of Upper-Atmosphere Jellyfish. I found the issue of Fortean Times that had this article. Here's the cover: http://ft.gjovaag.com/q/images/a/ae/FT291.jpg"
Interesting. There are some ideas we can look into. None of it proof, but possibilities. There are certainly plenty of future film ideas.
"We are like that un contacted tribe and everyone agrees not to bother us."
"I've heard it explained from a channel (idk if you know what channeling is) kinda like this. First of all, we as a species tend to freak out, shoot first and ask questions later. Most humans would have a literal psychotic break. You have to believe in vibrational energy as it relates to our consciousness."
"The aliens (certain ones) are at such a higher level that it would be jarring for us to come in close contact with. We are slowly getting there but it's a process. Like 2012, end of the Mayan calendar, wasn't the end of the world it was the end of an energy cycle that we as the human race had never made it past before."
"Previous civilizations have been destroyed or destroyed themselves before they got this far. We passed a point where we are very unlike to destroy ourselves anymore. This doesn't mean we won't see some real bad hardships yet but we will keep progressing."
"train your eyes"Dancing GIFGiphy
"I was a firm believer in t em when I was in high school and kept googling theories and info in my spare time and during my study halls. They said their bodies were so lightweight or something that the reason why you can't see the evidence is that they disintegrate before hitting the ground."
"And then LOL it was so funny, some people would swear you could "train your eyes" to see rods... HhhahAHAHAHA. Like there were these experts. Video showed him walking around with a serious face, then pointing. And he's like, "that was one just there." "You can't see them, you have to be used to them... like me."
"I've spent many years immersed into hunting them finding them. That's why I can see them." And then one day China, who loves occult stuff, had like a lab that set up a nighttime camera to capture footage of rods at night... then realized they were normal bugs at overexposure. lol"
"The Dark Forest theory. Basically the theory that the reason we haven't made contact is because all the other civilized life in the universe/galaxy knows not to broadcast their location. They've learned that there's something awful or predatory lurking in the dark forest of our galaxy, and that it's better if they keep to themselves."
"That the universe is so vast that we haven't been discovered yet."
"This makes sense to me because traversing the distance to or from even our our stellar neighbors would require technology that is not known to us now or likely to be known by us anytime soon if it's even possible at all. To assume without evidence that aliens could possess this technology and have visited us does not meet my skeptical standards."
Back and Forthback to the future great scott GIFGiphy
"Time travel exists, and UFO sightings are actually future humans coming back to our time. That is why they are so discreet, and never openly make contact."
I hope time travel exists. Now that I'm onboard for. If aliens do exist... just come on out guys. We could probably use your help.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.