My advice to other disabled people would be, concentrate on things your disability doesnt prevent you doing well, and dont regret the things it interferes with. Dont be disabled in spirit as well as physically. -Stephen Hawking
People can have a lot of misconceptions about things they don't understand. Reddit user AbhorrentIngestion asked:
"Redditors with special needs/mental illnesses/disabilities, what is something you wish people understood about you?"
Here are some of their answers.
My Aspergers Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) doesn't make me a broken version of neurotypical people. I don't need to be fixed, pitied, or saved. I just need acceptance. People with Autism who are unable to live autonomously need assistance, but there are millions of us who have learned or trained ourselves to live just fine, thank you. No, I'm not exactly like you. Sensory overloads still happen and I don't react or behave exactly like the "average" person. But I'm not defective. Stop bombarding me with messages that I am. LakotaGrl
As a person with Asperger's, if you're going to be my friend don't measure me with the same measuring stick you do the rest of your friends. Use a modified one. Vealophile
Bipolar 2 here. No, I don't slam back and forth between happy and sad during the day. No, I am not unstable and dangerous. Sometimes it is hard/impossible for me to muster the strength to get out of bed, and no, it is not because of anything in particular. heathaash
ADHD is FAR more than being easily distracted. I forget things instantly unless I write it down. I forget to say thank you out loud. Crowds of people or new places can become overwhelming very quickly because the brain is taking in more information than it can properly process. Poor comprehension and misunderstanding body language and tone.But there are benefits. I can quickly and easily switch tasks when I need to. I can also hyperfocus where I drown out everything and put all my energy into completely one task. I notice things others don't, like a cell phone ringing at a loud concert, or can tell you exactly when I last saw your wallet or keys (and they're almost always there). CaptainAsshats
I wish people understood that I'm not this way because I want to be. I don't have depressive episodes because I don't try hard enough. If they knew what I did on a daily basis to support my mental well being, they'd be exhausted just doing half of it. But it's what I have to do, and sometimes the episodes still creep in. I wish they understood that I want to be healthy too, and I don't want to care as deeply as I do...but I do. Britney2007
I'm not "too young" to be in pain. Fibromyalgia has started for many in childhood with aches and pains that progresses to worsening symptoms in adulthood. I could do physical labor, but would need 4 days to recover and even after, I would still be in pain. This isn't something to just "suck up and deal with, we're all in pain, we all get on with it". Having a stiff neck for a few days is one thing, needing muscle relaxers and massages daily just to be able to turn your neck without risk of causing ANOTHER spasm to rip through your body is shitty. No, I don't look like I'm in pain, yes, I am smiling and laughing. I've learned to tolerate my pain. There's always something new to deal with, another symptom to try and correct. CaptainAsshats
I wish I could make people understand that there isn't always a reason for me being depressed. The type of depression that I experience is, well, chronic, and the likelihood of me growing out of it (I'm only fourteen) is slim. There doesn't need to be a direct trigger or event that makes me depressed. Sometimes, it just happens. It's a scary thing to go through, especially when the mood changes are quick and unexpected.
One moment, I could be perfectly content, watching a YouTube video or talking to a family member. And, within moments, the process of an emotional roller-coaster begins. It starts with a tightening in my chest and stomach, as if I'm going to be sick, and the feelings of dread and absolute sadness take over. It's something that's difficult to explain, especially to a person that doesn't know shit about depression or the symptoms and things that come with it.
It's hard when everyone you know says to you, "There has to be something wrong if you're feeling this way. You don't randomly just experience this, so tell me what happened." I'm sure it's frustrating as Hell knowing that you can't do anything about it, because nothing happened, but it never fails to frustrate me. This also applies to anxiety and plenty of other illnesses, I'm sure. pitylove
Just because I have a disability, I may not understand things straight away or may take me a while longer does not mean I am stupid, I may also be quiet, I have a speech problem if you watch my YouTube videos you would understand. thephilsblogbar
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
I want to be fun. I do. I want to be able to be active and not think about the consequences of everything and stay in the now. I'm trying. But Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Anxiety are poor company. I'm scared and I'm tired. I don't want to be those things. I just want to feel safe because nothing feels certain anymore. secsual
Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome
I have cyclic vomiting syndrome which basically means i have cycles that my stomach goes thru that means one month, Ill be able to handle foods at ease and eat whatever whenever and other months, those same foods lead me to vomit or be nauseous all the time and even water can be bothersome . I do take meds to manage it but sometimes that doesnt even work. So because I turn down your food doesnt mean Im being rude , its meaning that my stomach isnt in a good place at the moment and I dont wanna spend the next 2 days recovering from eating the food. blenneman05
I have a form of dyslexia which means I have trouble processing auditory information. However with the tools I can use (writing notes and double checking it's right via email as well as tape recordings) it doesn't mean you can lie to me about what you said and get away with it. Nor does it mean I'm deaf or not aware of when you're being patronizing. Catsplayingbanjos
Just because you "feel good" about a portrayal of a person with a disability doesn't make it a good portrayal, even if it seems like the person with a disability is benefiting. For example, take the "Homecoming Queen with Down Syndrome" trend. On the surface, it seems great, because the girl with Down Syndrome gets recognized and she gets a prominent place in the social order. However, the news features tend to highlight the "hero" students who elected her (as if they made some huge sacrifice) and emphasize the idea that the girl can't accomplish worthwhile things on her own, so others must artificially accomplish things for her. People with Down Syndrome have made excellent contributions to society. They don't need other people to accomplish things for them and have their achievements artificially awarded to them. The news feature just reinforced the (false) idea that being Homecoming Queen is the highlight of this girl's life, and that she needed other people to give it to her, and that their "generosity" is so undeserved that it merits a news crew. minnieturtle
That it is not your job to 'fix me'. I have depression and anxiety and hate when people think they need to encourage (ie force) me to talk on the phone or start conversations with people I dont know. Or when they take it upon themselves to drag me to social events in an effort to lift my mood. I know it comes from a good place, but it is not your job to fix me, and it honestly just makes it worse. Lyra_meow-
Not all wheelchair users are paralyzed! I always get such strange looks when I'm unloading my wheelchair from my car, or when people see me move my legs because they assume wheelchair = paralyzed. I'm capable of walking, I just can't walk long distances which is where the wheelchair comes in. devongarv
I wish people knew that mental illness is still an illness. You're not going to yell at someone with no legs to walk up a staircase or be angry at someone to catch a football with no arms because a normal person would notice that they are physically impaired and hopefully help that person out. However, you can't look at someone for 5 seconds and know if they have a mental illness or not. Just because you don't see it or don't "believe" in it, it doesn't mean that person might have a mild to severe form of some kind of mental disorder. If you think someone needs help, fucking help! There's a difference between someone being lazy and someone sleeping all day, every day. There's a difference between having a bad day and having months of feeling depressed. So, at the end of the day, there's going to be a difference between someone with a healthy brain and someone with a sick brain. bigtittyjimmer
Not me, but my friend has Schizophrenia who is disabled for life. No he does not have multiple personalities, no he is not a risk of murdering my entire family when he stays with us and no he is not just a lazy taker who doesn't want to work, he wants a job, but his longest held job was 2 weeks.
Sometimes he is unable to get out of bed for months at a time short of using the restroom and eating enough food to survive. When he is able to overcome his agoraphobia and leave the house, he often donates his time at a local charity.
Stop getting your knowledge of mental illnesses from the media, movies or "Aunt Edna, from down the road." The information is available online, look it up and read it before you say something about it. DatOneGuyWho
There isnt always a REASON for me to feel anxious. I can be having an anxiety attack in the safest location with nothing negative on my mind but can begin panicking to the point of physical symptoms for no apparent reason. Theres isnt necessarily something wrong. extasis_T
Nothing to Prove
That invisible disabilities exist. You would not believe the amount of people I have argued with that don't believe I'm disabled just because they can't see it. There are millions of different things that can cause a disability and only some are visible to onlookers. bitterlyyours
PTSD isn't just a thing for veterans. It can happen to anyone, and many people who have PTSD who aren't veterans are dismissed/not believed because they weren't in the military. FuckYourPoachedEggs2
I'm autistic, but I am high functioning. Very few people know this in my life. Even some of the people I do, I regret telling, as they treat me differently.
What I want people to know is that I still have feelings and emotions. I still want to connect with people. I still have relationships.
There's a lot of things that most people will understand on instinct that I've had to work for an understanding of. And some of those things I still don't get the purpose of.
This does not mean that I don't mean I don't feel. My emotions are not fake.
I think sometimes people assume that someone who has autism is like a robot. That is not the case. It obviously varies (hence the word "spectrum" in the name of the disorder), but a lot of people treat autistic people in an annoyingly patronizing way.
Do you think I can't see that?
Sometimes, I am going to make social missteps. Sometimes, I am going to have to be explained things that should be obvious. But these things happen to everyone. I am as human as you. jpterodactyl
I tend to avoid public bathrooms if I can help it. They are terrible places. Few are clean and I admit I am a bit of a clean freak. My beautiful bottom will not grace a dirty toilet seat, no thank you. I have standards.
I'm being only sort of serious. I've been in a pinch before. But have you ever seen a gas station bathroom that was utterly destroyed by the patron (or patrons) before you? It's a horrible sight. 0/10: Do not recommend.
Naturally, some crazy things happen in your local public restroom. We heard some stories after Redditor RuffNBoy asked the online community,
"What is the wackiest thing you've seen in a public restroom?"
"At the theater I work at..."
"At the theater I work at I was cleaning the mens restroom and in one of the stalls was an open condom wrapper, a tiny empty bottle of the nacho cheddar seasoning we sell, and the seasoning scattered near the corner on the floor. Bethesda wishes they had environmental storytelling like that."
Do I really want to know what went on there? I honestly don't think so.
"I used to be..."
"I used to be a hotel maid. Cleaning one room I found two things in the bathroom garbage can: a used condom and a whole pickle."
"I was taking a dump..."
"I was taking a dump at a movie theater and a little kid climbed under the stall and grabbed my foot. I screamed and kicked that kid so hard right in the face just out of sheer instinct. He cried. His dad said, "That's what you get Gavin."
Gavin is at it again and this time he faced some consequences.
"I walked in..."
"I walked in and my eyes were immediately assaulted by a fully naked man running a stick of deodorant up and down his crack."
Wow... what a terrible day to be able to read.
"Not only did this bathroom..."
"Gas station bathroom in the middle of nowhere. Not only did this bathroom have a bathtub (?) but there was a fully dressed and made up mannequin in the tub. Very jarring."
This sounds surreal... and honestly rather creepy.
"I once stopped..."
"I once stopped at a gas station on a road trip and the bathroom was full of dolls…. Staring with their little painted eyes…."
Their creepy and unsettling eyes!
"Two people were having sex in the handicapped stall. I was seven."
So something tells me you learned about the birds and the bees rather early.
"A clogged urinal..."
"A clogged urinal filled to the brim, with an anaconda sized turd spiral floating in it, in hypnotic circles. How a turd that size could be buoyant I have no idea."
This is quite the sentence. I don't think I needed it in my eyeballs, but it's too late now.
"I was in a Berlin dive bar..."
"Olives. I was in a Berlin dive bar with some friends. In the bathroom, there was a vending machine, stocked with tinned tapas. So I came back from the bathroom with a can of olives. When asked where I got them I just replied "bathroom.""
This is simultaneously hilarious and horrifying. I can only imagine the looks on your friends' faces...
Okay, so now you understand why I can't abide public restrooms. If you're smart, you'll run for the hills the next time you're in the proximity of one. Things can only go downhill from there. (Am I being serious? Maybe... maybe not.)
Have some stories of your own to share? Tell us more in the comments below!
One should never be fooled by a first impression.
Certain people might behave in a way that is less than indicative of what they are actually like, and might prove to be far more impressive, or much less friendly, once you get to know them a little better.
However, sometimes people will behave in a certain way which leaves one unable to avoid making assumptions about people.
Namely, their intelligence.
Redditor sparklingshanaya was curious to hear what behavioral traits the Reddit community took as a sign of possessing a considerable lack of intelligence, leading them to ask:
"What are some behaviors that scream unintelligence?"
An unwillingness to learn
"I feel like the classic example is being unable to change your opinion or idea when you are presented with new information."
"You don’t have to set everything you believe in stone."- Rusty_of_Shackleford
"I think a key thing that separates the intelligent from the less intelligent is curiosity and how far you actually go to learn."- TuxedoWolf07
When even they don't know what they're talking about.
"Maybe not unintelligence but ignorance."
"People getting angry when I ask them to explain what they just meant as I want to understand them and not misunderstand."- smokinstuff·
"Getting angry when someone ask them to explain their point."- SuvenPanWorking Julie Andrews GIFGiphy
It's never attractive to gloat
"Obsessively telling everybody how intelligent you are."- terribleUsername18
It's ok to admit defeat every now and then...
"Playing 'last word' in an argument you've lost."- LennonMcCartney65
"Being defensive when corrected instead of just accepting it."- Marthstewart123
"Claiming they are always right but not being able to argument why or have a serious debate about it."- GReatChinookDrop The Mic GIF by In Real LifeGiphy
Are you sure about that?
"Constantly saying 'facts' that are extremely false."
"Gets on my nerves."- Sharkifish
Read the instructions!!!
"I just started driving for UberXL."
"The amount of people who think they can fit 8 people with all their luggage into a midsize SUV is astonishing."
"You can see which car comes to pick you up and it says fits 5 people."
"If you have a piece of luggage each then it's more like 3 people."
"I had one group sit there and stare me down like they didn't understand."
"I swear some people just have a mental limit for figuring things out and they all find each other and never get anywhere."- predict_irrational
One should always reserve judgment, as one never knows for sure what lurks beneath the surface.
Even if more often and not, you are left with little to nothing which encourages you to see what's there.
One of my favorite horror films ever is Black Christmas (1974). It's the perfect slasher film. It's scary. It's uncompromising. It's sordid. It's eerie. It leaves you with a horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach. It features some great acting, too! There are some powerhouse talents in it, including Olivia Hussey, Keir Dullea, Margot Kidder, and Andrea Martin.
But did you know that the film has been remade? It's been remade twice, as a matter of fact. The first remake, which was released in 2006, was so ridiculous. Not even Martin, who showed up in a glorified cameo in the role of a sorority house mother, could save it.
It was remade again in 2019 — this one bore few similarities to the films that came before it. One wondered why this one even had the same name, but there you have it.
Suffice it to say that the original Black Christmas is untouchable. But it is not the only film out there that should never have been remade. Far from it.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor CrescendoX asked the online community,
"What movie is so perfect that if it would remade, it would be a crime against humanity?"
"Misery. I could totally see a remake of Misery that used the way social media creates parasocial relationships so prevalently."
But let's not. I mean, who could ever replace Kathy Bates? She won an Oscar for the role!
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
"Who Framed Roger Rabbit."
I've seen the animation they've done for some of these new "live action meets cartoons" things.. The work the art/animation team put into Who Framed Roger Rabbit is STILL to this day putting them to shame."
A good choice. It was a pretty groundbreaking film and it's still influencing filmmakers to this day. That cast!
"It would be impossible to remake that perfect movie. The cast, story, and practical effects are wonderful. A remake would be full of CGI and a BS script."
Don't you dare suggest this! Don't you dare give those horrible Hollywood execs any ideas!
"Spaceballs. I don't want any other version."
But think about the merchandising!
Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money
"Jaws. I read somewhere that Spielberg won't let it be remade."
If someone did someday remake it, I would highly suggest they remove a lot of the unnecessary subplots that are in the book!
Did we really need that affair?
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
"The Silence of the Lambs. Remakes should only be attempted when you are sure that it can outclass the original but Silence of the Lambs cannot be outclassed."
Two Oscar-winning performances. It doesn't get any better than Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster. The film is a masterclass — the Criterion edition is especially beautiful.
Stand by Me (1986)
"Stand by Me. It would be an insult to River Phoenix and many others to remake that."
This film is so highly regarded that a remake just seems foolish. Why even bother attempting one? Go and read the novella instead.
Back to the Future (1985)
"Back to the Future. Please please please PLEASE don't ruin it with a remake."
As long as Robert Zemeckis doesn't kick the bucket we're safe!
Uncle Buck (1989)
"Uncle Buck. Don't you dare touch it."
Without John Candy that would be like trying to remake the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in a Denny's with only ketchup and mustard. Just a tragic, ill-conceived imitation.
My Cousin Vinny (1992)
"My Cousin Vinny. Joe Pesci's performance is perfect."
Hey, don't forget Marisa Tomei! She stole the show. And she won an Oscar for the role!
The list of movies that should not be touched is endless and you no doubt have your opinions.
Which movies should be left the hell alone? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Sex talk is still considered a taboo subject in many households. And I don't mean going into detail about your bedroom conquests at the dinner table.
Overprotective parents tend to be evasive about discussing the birds and the bees with their kids because they feel it's not up to them to have that conversation.
Remember Carrie White's religious mom who refused to talk about intimacy with her 16-year-old?
We all know how that turned out in the classic Stephen King novel.
Anyway, parents turning down an opportunity to have the uncomfortable convo or having their kids miss out on sex education can lead a child to potentially develop damaging misunderstandings about their body and puberty.
The effects of which were explored when Redditor sparklingshanaya asked:
"What’s a sexual misconception you had for way too long?"
It helps to have an earlier understanding about your body when you're younger.
"As a girl, I had no real idea of where/what the vagina was until I was like 11 or 12. My mom didn't give me a real sex talk, just a puberty/body book that said 'the vagina is between the woman's legs' and just had a full frontal diagram (legs closed) of a woman with an arrow pointing to her pelvic region. I also didn't know a period lasted longer than a day until I got mine at 14, and then wondered why it was still going on the next day."
"When my mom realized how abysmal my sex education was, her solution was to rent a video from the library about it and make me watch it on the big family TV in the living room at like 3pm. Granted— it was a very educational video but I won't ever forget one of the educators (a 50 year old woman) talking about how to give a satisfactory blow job."
"Ok so I grew up in a VERY conservative household. Was not allowed to take sex ed in middle school and they helicoptered in high school. Any internet access they had access to view so I never watched porn/looked at pics. Absolutely nothing. So for a long time I thought penises were shaped like a smaller pringles can. I thought it was just like...a straight up cylinder. Moved out at 17 and googled some things and man I had men's anatomy SO wrong."
Wrong End Of The Stick
"Friend of mine has a similar background and I just about lost my mind when she said the balls are the END of the penis. Like she had seen those doodles and had it upside down so they just dangle off the end of the shaft lmaooo."
Let's get verbal about getting oral.
Satisfy A Woman
"Learn to go down on a woman, like become a master at it. Do this."
Excuse For Supper
"I second this. Been married for 20 years and it's something I'm happy to do."
"Get involved, people."
"Edit: thanks for the medals and upvotes, people! Be assured that I'll be celebrating tonight."
"Friend of a friend thought it meant kissing. And they were like 19. So glad they found out through a conversation and not through a dude asking for it, or her talking about it. That would've been extremely confusing for everyone."
"My friend back in middle school thought a blowjob meant to literally blow on it. I still tease her about it to this day."
"Man, I thought I was gonna get so many blow jobs. That’s just not true."
As young adolescents, these Redditors got these terminologies mixed up.
"When I was around middle school age I thought that oral sex meant talking dirty :’)"
"I used to sext with my girlfriend in high school. When we broke up, she just went crazy and told everyone in our grade that I was great at 'oral sex' (she meant sexting💀) School hasn’t been the same since then."
Learning By Example
"I was kind of sheltered growing up, and like most sheltered kids, I learned a lot about sex through porn. I kept seeing 'blowjob' videos, and (i had no idea what a blowjob) assumed it was some kind of sex blooper. Like, something got messed up and the director said 'Oh darn, you blew it! Let’s take it from the top.'”
I had sex education in sixth grade after my parents gave the school permission for me to attend the special assembly centering on the topic.
But I remember how vague the instructor was. By the time I eventually had my first nocturnal emission, I remember being terrified, yet simultaneously elated. It was very confusing, and I didn't know what happened.
I remember reflecting back to sixth grade and thinking the school must've skipped that part in sex ed.