People With Disabilities Reveal The Most Frustrating Well-Intentioned Things People Do

People With Disabilities Reveal The Most Frustrating Well-Intentioned Things People Do
[rebelmouse-image 18358324 is_animated_gif=Sometimes we see disabled people as people who help, but there is such a thing as over stepping your boundaries and assuming too much. Often times able-bodied people forget that people with disabilities are just living a different way of life, but they are still very capable of everything a non-disabled person is capable of.
ghiscari_ asks, Disabled people of Reddit, what things do well-intentioned people do that frustrate you?
The ignorance here is abysmal
[rebelmouse-image 18346400 is_animated_gif=When someone says "I can't imagine being sick like you. I think I'd kill myself" It's just so belittling. Yes, I'm sick, but life can still have joy and meaning despite that.
Sometimes the bright side is sour
[rebelmouse-image 18357787 is_animated_gif=Tell me that "it must be nice" not working, or that "at least you got some good years before this all happened!"
I would love to be able to work and raise my family out of poverty, and thinking about the time before my body gave up just makes me miss it and hate myself for not doing more.
A viewpoint people often don't explore
[rebelmouse-image 18358326 is_animated_gif=When I talk to people about my disabilities who then say "I'll never complain about my health issues again". Because they feel like my problems are worse. I know they mean well, like trying to say it's bad, they feel sorry for me, ect. But I wish people understood that my issues do not invalidate their problems. You still have all the right to complain, to be frustrated even for something as simple as a cold. It sucks to be sick no matter what, no matter who you are.
The shady compliment
[rebelmouse-image 18358327 is_animated_gif=As someone with learning disabilities it would be when people make comments like "Wow. I'm surprised you can even read" or "Isn't it amazing you can write?" for crying out loud people not everyone with learning disabilities is unable to read or write. You aren't complimenting me. You're insulting me.
The sympathy speech
[rebelmouse-image 18349989 is_animated_gif=For me, it has to be when people tell me that I'm "brave" or an "inspiration", or just assume that I'm some incredibly amazing person, before they have even learned my name. As flattering as it seems, they don't know me, and it just feels like they don't see me as a fully realized person with flaws and vices like anyone else. I've had dwarfism my whole life, so I've had a whole life to get used to it. It's not a constant battle that I struggle with - I rarely even think about it.
Say what?
[rebelmouse-image 18347515 is_animated_gif=Frame me as somehow inspirational for doing normal things like going to the shop, and PUSH MY WHEELCHAIR WITHOUT ASKING.
Best one was some dude comes up behind me, pushes my chair - which doesn't have handles - whilst saying 'it's nice to go fast sometimes' .. the f***?
When that extra effort is too much
[rebelmouse-image 18346832 is_animated_gif=Rushing ahead from 30ft behind to open a door, despite me saying I got it. To clarify, if you're ahead of me I'll think nothing of it, it's the sprinters from behind that bug me.
Leave the youngsters along!
[rebelmouse-image 18358328 is_animated_gif='You're too/so young!'
Bite me.
I'm 29 use a cane, can't walk most days from a annular tear/stenosis/sciatica and I hobble everywhere when I do walk.
Or demanding my medical history as to what I've tried to fix my issue. You don't need to know I've taken more pain meds than Tommy Lee during the worst parts of my injury.
The self proclaimed doctor
[rebelmouse-image 18350933 is_animated_gif=When I mention my medical diagnosis people say "oh I know someone who has that! They changed their diet and it cured them!"
Well 1. There's no cure for it so... and 2. this disease affects people differently. It's great that your friend is living a functional, normal life with little to no complications but it's not the same for me.
I also hate being recommended acupuncture, quacky treatments, etc. My case is severe. I need actual medication to treat it. Turmeric might help, sure, but it's not a cure. I am doing everything I can to take care of my body. I've researched my disease and am going to a specialist. There's nothing you can say that I haven't heard or read already.
Don't touch!
[rebelmouse-image 18358329 is_animated_gif=I'm legally blind and was learning to use a cane in case my vision ever got worse, I was at a movie theater practicing with my cane and I had to use the bathroom so as I'm leaving the bathroom this random stranger comes up, grabs my arm and tries to lead me around and I'm thinking to myself: "don't you see that I have a cane?, do you not know what it's for?", my cane is my third hand it's supposed to help me navigate my surroundings. Coming up and grabbing a stranger's arm is the equivalent of pushing someone's wheelchair without their permission.
Incurable means it doesn't go away....
[rebelmouse-image 18350554 is_animated_gif=I want to throttle people when they tell me that I can cure my genetic illness by mindfulness meditation and that if it doesn't work, I'm clearly not trying hard enough. Or that I can cure it by drinking smoothies, taking vitamins, staring at the sun, etc.
And the best head desk moments come when people say, "I hope you get better soon." Thanks, Susan. There's no cure, and you're missing the definition of chronic, but thanks.
You don't know what's best
[rebelmouse-image 18358330 is_animated_gif=Telling me "you're too young to use a stick!", or asking me things like "don't you think you'd get more energy if you just went for a nice walk in the sunshine?"
I have chronic fatigue and pain among other things - if I can't get out of bed, a walk is pretty much impossible.
Wait to be asked
[rebelmouse-image 18358331 is_animated_gif=When they take things out of my hands to 'help me'....its nice and all to think I might need help, but wait for me to ask you, 'kay?
Asking anyone what's wrong with them is rude!
[rebelmouse-image 18358332 is_animated_gif=For some reason, complete strangers think they have the right to demand my medical history. Just because we're standing together on the escalator doesn't mean you get to ask: "what happened to you" or even worse "what's wrong with you."
You don't make the rules
[rebelmouse-image 18347291 is_animated_gif=Type 1 diabetic. Most offenses occur due to a lack of knowledge about the disease- which is fine, I don't expect everyone to be doctors. But trying to suggest "cures"? No grandma, eating that Indian spice you heard about won't cure me. And my biggest pet peeve: "you can't eat that." Why, yes I can.
Purely offensive
[rebelmouse-image 18358333 is_animated_gif=Quadriplegic with a pinched c4-c5 injury.
1. People who assume my penis doesn't work because I'm in a wheelchair.
2 The Pastor who told me: ''the reason God hasn't healed you is because you don't believe enough''
3. People who Help me when I didn't ask for it.
4. People who Pray for me in public
Wow...really people?
[rebelmouse-image 18358335 is_animated_gif=Deaf person here. I absolutely hate it when people shout at me. That doesn't help at all!! Or talk suuuuper slooooowly. I'm not a moron you idiot. Just talk at a normal speed, try not to cover your face, and I should get what you say.
No means no
[rebelmouse-image 18344990 is_animated_gif=Not listen when I decline offers of help.
I'm a young woman who uses a wheelchair and for whatever reason, men over 55 absolutely CANNOT pass by without offering me help (even if I am literally just sitting in a park on my lunch break) which, sure, fine, I appreciate the sentiment.
What is super infuriating, however, is when I say "No thanks, I'm fine" they don't stop, often to point of me having to make a bit of an "angry voice" scene before they will leave me alone.
Small service dogs count too!
[rebelmouse-image 18358336 is_animated_gif=Small dogs can be service dogs STFU.
I already posted about my number 1 complaint, but this is for my little cousin. He is epileptic and the family dachshund was his service dog for alerting about incoming seizures. And if he was alone, like sleeping in his bed and had one, the dog would freak the f*** out (Loud barking to wake his parents) and get help. But so many times he told by people that she could not be his service animal cause she was too small, or that he was lying. Pissed me off a lot.
Disability does not mean decreased intelligence
[rebelmouse-image 18358337 is_animated_gif=Hear the words "I have ASD" and then proceed to treat me like a child and start explaining really simple s*** to me like I don't know. I'd been doing independently for months before admitting my diagnosis and now I'm "incapable".
Also when I say "sorry I'm deaf" and people dumb down their words and basically start talking like they're talking to a 3yo to me. I can understand more than 4 word sentences thanks.
It's highly believed that it is important to learn history as a means to improve our future.
What is often overlooked is that what is taught in history class is going to be very different depending on where you went to school.
And this isn't just internationally, even different regions of the United states will likely have very different lessons on American history.
This frequently results in our learning fascinating, heartbreaking and horrifying historical facts which our middle or high school history teachers neglected to teach us.
Redditor Acherontia_atropos91 was curious to learn things people either wished they had learned, or believe they should have learned, in their school history class, leading them to ask:
What isn’t taught in history class but should be?
The Irish Troubles
"The troubles."
"Too many people in America do not understand why a wall straight through Ireland would be a BAD idea."
"I’m referring to the Brexit referendum and possible outcomes."
"If people were wondering why we were talking about walls through Ireland in the first place."- CLCVS.
Forgotten elements of World War II
"What the Japanese did to the Chinese during WW2."
"Unit 731."- CaptainMcBoogerJew.
"Japan gets off easy for their war crimes in WW2."
"They killed an estimated 16mil Chinese civilians and another 8mil soldiers"
"Also, Pol Pot."
"Didn't know who he was until I was like 25."
"Worst dictator all time (in terms of percentage of population he decimated)".
The truth about the American Revolution
"That the American Revolution was part of a wider cold war type of conflict with France."
"The American Revolution was basically the UK's equivalent of the US version of Vietnam."- vinsant7.
The Dark side of Swedish history.
"As a Swede, I'd like to know more of all the horrible sh*t my country has done throughout history."
"It's a damn shame we're trying to hide our history."
"For example, Swedes killed a metric sh*t ton of all Polish people when we were at our strongest."
"That's the kinda sh*t we don't get to learn."- mogwandayy.
Colonization
"Basically what Belgium did to the Congo."
"A lot of people are telling me that they are taught about this actually."
"I'm glad to hear it because I wasn't taught about this in the USA during my public school days (1995-2008)."- EconArch.
The truth about "heroes".
"While teaching about historical Heroes they should also tell students about the unspeakable things some of them did."
"Many famous figures throughout history who are pillars of morality actually did many terrible things." - User Deleted
Intolerance for Mental Illness
"The dark history of mental illness treatments."
"I think it's worth learning about."- 7dayexcerpt.
Slavic Mythology
"Slavic mythology in Slavic countries."
"Don't get me wrong, I love both Greek & Roman mythology and as a person from the Balkans both of those cultures are part of my country's history and had great influence over not only my region but the entirety of the continent & the western world but I wouldn't mind knowing more about Slavic mythology as well."- ShorsShezzarine.
The truth about the CIA
"How the CIA was made and all the shady things they did over the years."- ALargeChip.
There is a lot about the history of our world, not to mention our own country which shouldn't be ignored.
And it's from learning from our mistakes that we really improve our future.
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So apparently we are in the endemic phase of this nonsense.
We have light at the end of the tunnel.
So what now?
Where do we go from here?
Normal seems like an outdated word.
How do we get back to normal though?
Is it even possible?
What are reaching back to?
Life pre-Covid.
Those were the days.
If only we could bring them back.
Redditor hetravelingsong wanted to discuss our new normal in this hopeful "endemic" phase. So they asked:
"What’s something random you miss about pre-COVID times?"
I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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What do you believe?
Is there a GOD in the sky?
Is he guiding us and helping us?
Life is really hard. Why is that is a big entity is up there loving us?
Atheists have taken a lot of heat for what feels like shunning GOD.
What if they've been right all along?
Maybe let's take a listen and see what they really think.
Redditor __Jacob______ wanted to hear from the people who don't really believe all that "God" stuff. They asked:
"Atheists, what do you believe in?"
I'm waffling between G-O-D and nothing. So please give me some education.
911
"We need to look out for each other because help isn't coming."
cknipe
Peace Out
"More than 2 decades ago, a priest was giving a sermon in my church and he said 'our faith requires you to believe without question. Why call it faith if you have to ask questions?' I haven't returned to church. Not until my wedding day but you know what I mean."
asiangontear
Delusion
"When I was young I used to think that after death you would have access to a PC that you could see absolutely anything about your life. Stats, any question you had no matter how obscure, replays of moments, perspectives of others in relation to you. No matter what you wanted to know, if it was relatable to you, you could see it. I know it's silly, but as time goes on I just want it to be real, and I don't think I'd have any issue allowing myself to fall into that delusion."
eggwardpenisglands
I think nothing happens...
"Realistically, I think nothing happens. We literally experience nothing after death. Same thing that we experience before birth. We don't exist, so it's nothing. I think the tenant that we should follow while living is to try to be happy and healthy while minimizing the damage we do to each other."
"What I would LIKE to happen after death is whatever you believe in, exists. I think Christians should get to go to heaven if they truly believe in it, Hindus and Buddhists get reincarnated, and everyone else also gets to experience what they believe they will experience."
"'I would still experience Nothing. Maybe it's one of those things where at the moment of death their brain makes them experience what feels like an infinitely long moment in time where they experience their afterlife. I just think it would be neat for everybody."
Better_Meat_
Shrug
"Best advice I received from a dear senior on their way out. 'You win some, you lose some' shrug. Nothing divine, life is that simple and wonderful, accept it and move on."
Tune_Kindly
It all sounds pretty simple. Why are people so up in arms about Atheists?
Whatever
"I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do."
imCIK
Cool with Empty
"Nothing. [Serious]."
rumblingtummy29
"I feel this way about death. When I was 5, my grandfather died and my cousin simple said, he is dead, that means you are gone forever. Everything ends up dying, even plants and animals. I'm now in my 40's and still have this simplistic view of life and death. People think I'm ambivalent to life and death but it's just what it is."
thepigfish82
puppet-masters...
"I think a lot of religious people struggle with the fact that we are all just swirling units of chaos. There is no grand plan or great orchestrator. I think that’s why people who are prone to religion are also susceptible to things like Q anon and the Cabal and all that. They REALLY want to believe that there is some almighty puppet-master who determines all of humanity’s fate."
Lngtmelrker
“we’re living in a society!”
"Just be a kind and empathetic person not because you’re worried about some cosmic justice, but because it’s the right thing to do. If there is some being that created us there’s no way they actually care about believing in it or adhering to some rules from over 2000 years ago."
"Also a big thing for me is that I find the idea that you need religion or the Bible in order to have morals and ethics pretty dumb. It’s pretty f**king clear that most evangelicals have neither. But my main thing is being a good person simply because, as George Costanza once said we’re living in a society!' If you’re only a good person in order to make it to heaven you probably aren’t actually a good and moral person."
conservative_genius
That's All
"You're born. You live. You die. That's it. After you die you cease to exist, the same as before you were born."
serefina
Believe what you want. We're all here together. So let's focus there.
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The list of what irritates me is endless.
I mean... breathing too loud or dust can set me off.
I'm a bit unstable, yes.
But I'm not alone.
So let's discuss.
Redditor Aburntbagel6 wanted to hear about all the times many of us just couldn't control our disdain. They asked:
"What never fails to piss you off?"
I feel like this article can go on forever. Let's get some highlights.
Wasted Time
"Meetings that could and should have been an email."
Sirena609
Lotto People
"Getting stuck behind people playing the lottery at a corner store."
thenuggetlover
"I also used to work in a gas station and you’re SO right. I f**king hated the lottery people. Especially since my store had a small staff and there was usually only one of us working at a time, which meant that I couldn’t get any of my other work done as long as they were there."
"And you’re right, it’s also pretty sad to watch. I had one lady who used to come in every day and spent hundreds and HUNDREDS of dollars on scratch tickets. One day, she won $200 after spending probably around $600 and she was so excited and saying she can 'finally pay her bills.'"
i-am-your-god-now
Aware...
"No situational awareness. Job, home, shopping, driving. Think for one minute and go about. OBSERVE!!"
Dizzy-Foundation8122
"My mom is one of those people who leave the shopping cart in the middle of the damn aisle and proceed to walk twenty feet away. After correcting her a million times to no effect I just walk away now so people don’t know I’m with her."
OutrageousEvent
Shut Up!
"Endless barking in the middle of the night, I love animals but that sh*t I can't stand."
Acceptable-Lemon2924
"Endless barking in general drives me up a wall. One of my friends dogs was barking almost an entire gaming session the other day. I wanted to reach through the computer and smack him for letting it go on."
bangersnmash13
Kindness
"People being mean to service workers, especially if the workers are very young."'
scaryboilednoodles
All of these things. I hate them all.
Admit It
"People who never accept fault when they mess something up. Like, why blame a million people when it was clearly you who did it???"
Quirky-Area-8978
From Above
"My upstairs neighbors."
lutzow89
"I had terrible neighbors at my previous apartment. It was a one person studio for students, but her boyfriend was clearly living with her illegally and he was loud."
"One night we knocked n the door at 3 AM because of the loud music and an unknown girl opened the door. I just thought they were having a little party. But the next door I saw the girl living there come home with a suitcase after having been away for the weekend... Her BF was cheating on her in her own apartment."
Th3_Accountant
Move Away
"People who sit directly next to me at the airport, movie theater, any other place where you can choose a seat when there is PLENTY of other seating."
BacardiPardy33
"I can’t YES this enough and the ones who can’t park for crap so they park so close you can’t open doors on one side of the car or the ones who park directly behind when you pulled through so the door won’t open to load groceries."
BacardiPardy33
It's Over
"People who try to restart old drama. Like I'm done with you, just leave me alone."
Tired_Potatos
"Yep, half the reason I've basically quit playing one of my favorite online video games. People keep bringing old crap up or sh*tting on on someone who used to be our friend. I got tired of it so I just ejected the game out of me."
CaucasianHumus
AHHHHH!!!
"People walking too slow in front of me with no way to get around them. It’s even worse if it’s a couple or group taking up the whole sidewalk. HAVE SOME SPATIAL AWARENESS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!"
_-v0x-_
Life in general pisses me off. I'm easy.
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