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People With Dark Humor Share What Made Them Laugh During A Funeral

People With Dark Humor Share What Made Them Laugh During A Funeral

People With Dark Humor Share What Made Them Laugh During A Funeral

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It's never easy to say goodbye to someone you care about and funerals are all about goodbyes. But when emotions are high, you're susceptible to more than one kind of outburst.

Reddit user GingerMonkeys asked "What caused you to laugh during someone's funeral?"

Here are the times that people couldn't help but laugh during a normally solemn occasion.

Who Are You?

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Back in 2007 my friends and I where going through that pop punk against the establishment kind of scene phase, well when my best friend took his life in late 2009 his parents decided to play a montage music video of his life. Well the band they decided to use was a Nickelback cd they found in his room. I couldn't hold it back, I started to laugh uncontrollably. Once I stopped Laughing I couldn't tell whether his family didn't really know who their son was or was my friend a secret Nickelback fan.

Sophie

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My grandmas funeral had a slideshow of pictures. One of the pictures was of her in her recliner with her dog sitting in her spot above her head. We all laughed because her and Sophie, the dog, had the same hair. It was a white Maltese Jack Russell kinda mix. She loved that damn dog and I'll cherish that picture forever.

I Like Big...

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The love of my life committed suicide almost three years ago. N was young, handsome, accomplished, hilarious, and so so loved, & his visitation was packed with literally hundreds of people coming to say goodbye. Before the eulogy began we all crowded into a too-small room and his twin brother asked for a moment of quiet before he played a song N had loved.

I don't know how. I don't know why. But from somewhere - at that exact moment of silence - Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back" came blaring through the room. The wave of laughter that rolled through us was exactly what we needed, & we laughed until we sobbed. N had the best sense of humor & always found the absurd hilarious - if he could've planned his own funeral, he without a doubt would've planned something like this. He was also never shy about appreciating a nice butt, & since I'm kind of known for mine I've got to admit that THAT song playing at that exact moment still feels in the weirdest way like a small wave goodbye from him. We never figured out where that song came from - it didn't come through the speakers of the funeral home, & no one has ever admitted to playing it as a joke - but I'm so grateful to the universe for giving so many of us a small, happy memory in the midst of so much sadness.

Rocko

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My grandpa died when my daughter was about 6. She was sitting on her dad's lap during the service. The minister said the old ashes to ashes, dust to dust line. My daughter whispers the rest of the timeless Rocko's Modern Life quote, "We stick Ed Bighead in the Earth's crust."

My husband, son, and I all lost it and we're shaking in near silent laughter. As close to silent as we could muster, anyway. Still the funniest thing I've ever witnessed at a funeral.

Let the Trumpets Sound

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The priest farted. It was my great grandmother's funeral, and the last thing she ever told me was that she was happy she had her own room in the care facility "so I could fart as much as I want, and man, I let out some real corkers". I was with my dad then, and next to him at the funeral. I don't believe in God, but when that Priest let the good tunes fly, it's the closest I've come.

DOGE

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One of my friends was buried in his doge shirt. My other friend and I were low-key giggling at his casket, just as he would have wanted.

Ashes to Ashes

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We had my aunt cremated and during the wake we were discussing having her ashes put into a piece of jewelry (like a locket) for her mother. My dad (her brother) decided that'd be the perfect time to comment that "they'll have to be bloody careful unless they want to vacuum my sister out of the rug"; I was so close to wetting myself with laughter, sometimes a little dark humor can really make your day.

My brother-in-law then followed up the comment by humming spoonful of sugar from Mary Poppins because my sister informed us they only needed a teaspoon of the ashes to put into the pendant we decided on; clearly we're a family of idiots.

So Lifelike

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At my Granny's funeral, there was a misprint on the flyer thing that said she'd died a year before she actually did. My dad commented that she looked great for having been in an open coffin for so long.

Holy

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The priest praying at the end. "Thank you God for your eternal erection--- resurrection...."

One of Jesus' lesser known miracles.

And on the third day, He rose.

Axe of Vandalism

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My friend, Steven, who died was really snooty and kind of liked the finer things in life.

It was an open casket. Our friend Jenny went up to pay respects to Steven.

During the service she leaned over and said, "I sprayed Axe on Steven when I was up there."

First time ever Steven wore a cheap-ass fragrance.

I <3 BOOBS

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We were only 16 and it was a classmate. Very tragic. When I went up to the casket I noticed her parents chose to bury her with all of her favorite things including her phone and an "I LOVE BOOBIES" bracelet (breast cancer awareness) on her wrist, eye level to where I was kneeling. It made me chuckle, and with all of the emotions I ended up being unable to stop laughing for the remainder of the service.

Accurate Description

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This wasn't at the funeral but at the luncheon afterward. The daughter of the deceased came to our table and asked how everyone was doing. My schoolmate said, "oh, alive and well!". I spit the coffee out of my mouth. Everyone else was silent as I was dying from laughter. The kid's face was beat red from embarrassment.

Pulsating

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About ten years ago, I was at my wife's Grandmother's funeral. Small rural farming town, the funeral was in the quintessential small town funeral home, and presided over by the preacher in a tiny baptist church. Mullets abounded.

Anyhow, during the "sermon" that we were all sitting through, this preacher was gearing up toward an altar call. In building momentum, he was describing her life, and when he got to the point of her death, he described it thusly:

"...when her pulse pulsed its last pulse..."

I have no memory of what was said directly before or after. But I looked at my wife, she looked at me, and we glanced around at the rest of her family, who were all trying to keep the laughing at bay.

For the rest of this service we did all we could not to laugh, and only had moderate success. We got strange looks from the locals wondering who these rubes were laughing at a funeral of all places.

My wife and I still bring it up from time to time. I never thought I'd hear the word "pulse" used for so many different parts of speech in a single sentence.

Hat Trick

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At my grandmother's funeral all the men were to wear yarmulkes but it was a windy day and as a bald man, mine kept blowing off of my head.

People are crying and the Rabbi is telling nice stories and I'm hunched over running around like an idiot chasing a tiny hat.

Should Have Brought a Snack

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My sister's stomach growled loud enough for me to hear from two people away at my husband's grandma's funeral. We both laughed out loud. Thankfully it was just our small family so no harm done. Grandma would have laughed too.

Deep Sleeper

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It was my grandfathers wake, not funeral, but I think it still counts. My grandma had Alzheimer's that was getting worse and worse. Everyone was going through the line saying their goodbyes to my grandfather in his casket. Don't know who it was but after one couple had said their goodbyes, they stopped to say hello to my grandma. They asked her how she was doing and she replied, "I'm doing great, but you should see Tom...he's not doing so hot" and gestured with her thumb towards his casket. She was so sweet and literally had no idea he had passed away...I know it sounds sad but her (unknowing) humor lightened all of our moods and we died laughing. That poor couple.

Parental Guidance

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Someone near me greeted one of the deceased person's parents, and said: "Thank you for coming."

They didn't know who the person (parent) was.

Grandma's Wishes

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My grandma was my favorite person. She was a fire cracker who almost always got her way, and also the type of person who everyone considers family from the moment they meet her. Literally every adult I knew called her "Ma" (including the CEO of one of the biggest tech companies in the 90's, for whom she was the Executive Assistant). She died a slow painful death from pancreatic cancer. This gave her a lot of time to think about and plan for her funeral, which is not something typical of Jewish services. She made lots of crude jokes about what food to serve during Shiva and what her obituary should say but one thing She was VERY clear and serious about was wanting everything to be as short and light as possible.

When she passed and we went to the funeral home we were very clear with what we (she) wanted and needed and the Rabbi agreed to do what we (she) had asked. However, when we got to the gravesite he went on and on and on and on and on and on (and on and on). There had been a really heavy rain the night before and morning of the funeral, so there was a tent over the area near her grave. The rain let up just before we got to the grave from the Temple and even though the tent had collapsed in a few parts due to pools of water, it was still standing. As the Rabbi is yammering away well past his agreed upon time frame a gust of wind comes out of nowhere and knocks ONE puddle off the tent, the puddle the Rabbi was standing directly under, soaking him and abruptly ending the service.

We all went from crying to hysterically laughing instantly. Say what you want, but from what we could tell there is no reason only THAT puddle was dumped off the tent or that the Rabbi was the only one soaked. We all agree Grandma was there to ensure she got what she wanted.

Chauffeur

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I came so close to laughing at my wife's father's funeral. It was a Jewish funeral and the rabbi was going to blow the shofar (that ram's horn thing), and he talked about what it was going to symbolize and all, but he pronounced it exactly like "chauffeur" so I was just picturing him talking about how he was going to blow a chauffeur and it was going to be so beautiful and meaningful. So that had me on the edge. But then when he actually blew the thing he was really bad at it and it was the most comical noodly squeaky farty sound that I came really, perilously close to cracking up. If I had, I might not be married today.

Open Mic

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The priest went to the bathroom during the eulogies. He forgot to turn his little microphone off. I knew my grandfather (the deceased) would have been laughing his ass off.

Luckily it was just peeing, BUT it was very obviously peeing. Right in the middle of a heartfelt story too. Several of us were cracking up pretty good during the whole thing.

Doctors Explain How A Patient Went From Nothing Serious To Life-Threatening In An Instant

One Redditor asked: 'Doctors of Reddit - what is your craziest story where a patient present with mild symptoms thinking it was nothing and it turned out to be a serious life or death situation?'

Doctors in medical scrubs walking down a hallway.
Photo by Luis Melendez on Unsplash

Generally speaking, if we have a cough, headache, or runny nose, we assume it's nothing to worry about in the long run and don't bother seeing a doctor.

Most of the time, this proves to be the case, as our ailments and symptoms tend to go away after a few days.

Other times, however, what we thought was a minor illness ended up being more serious than we could have possibly imagined.

In some cases, had we gone to the doctor any later, we might not have lived to tell the tale.

Redditor mothermurder88 reached out to the Doctors of Reddit to hear shocking stories of minor illnesses that turned out to be far more serious, leading them to ask:

"Doctors of Reddit - what is your craziest story where a patient present with mild symptoms thinking it was nothing and it turned out to be a serious life or death situation?"

The Cause Of Severe Back Pain...

"My dad woke up with severe back pain one morning after not doing anything strenuous the weeks/days leading up to it."

"My mom flipped her sh*t and finally put her foot down that he had to go to the doctor after him putting off going to a doctor for years even for a routine check-up."

"That appointment showed a broken rib from a huge tumor on his spine, along with tumors around his buttocks/pelvis and upper back."

"Diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer."

"5 years and 100 treatments later he’s still kicking it."- vulpesvulpex

An Antacid Won't Cut It...

"Saw a patient with minor cardiovascular symptoms and a slight pain in his upper back."

"The senior debated back and forth whether it would make sense to run a CT to rule out anything more serious."

"She finally decided to do it and it turned out he had a massive aortic dissection and was basically wheeled right into the OR."- Beneficial-Bee7765

A Parent's Worst Nightmare

"My son."

"6 weeks old."

"He was also 6 weeks premature."

"Only symptoms at the time of me bringing him to the ER was inconsolable crying and wouldn’t drink his breast milk."

"Was told by others that I was just being a paranoid first time mom…he probably has gas or was colic."

"My instincts just told me otherwise."

"Brought him to the ER."

"Triage asks me what my concerns are."

"I told them he won’t stop crying and I can get him to eat."

"A couple hours later my 6 week old baby coded blue and went into respiratory failure."

“'Code blue pediatrics' will forever be the most haunting thing I ever heard."

"Since he was so tiny they were having incredibly difficulty intubating him."

"Was being kept alive in between attempts with that bag thingy (unsure what it’s called) and compressions."

"His diagnosis was late on set group b strep, sepsis, and bacterial meningitis."

"Had I not brought him in when I did and waited, my son would not be alive today."

"So yea…listen to your instincts, you have them for a reason."- PokemomOnTheGo

Mints Won't Cut It...

"A man came to the hospital because his wife always complained about his bad breath."

"Long story short, I met him because they consulted my department when the tissue biopsy came back as esophageal cancer."- TeamMiserable

Never Underestimate The Importance Of A Check Up

"I'm a dentist."

"New pt came in with what he thought was a mild ache in his teeth."

"Thought it was a toothache."

"Hadn't seen a dentist in years."

"Took a radiograph and the jaw bone around the teeth looked strange."

"Had him see an oral surgeon that day."

"Turned out was a very aggressive metastatic bone cancer and died a few weeks later."- jakeology_101

A Second Opinion Never Hurts

"I’m a nurse, not a doctor, but we had a guy come in years ago asking for a medication to 'help him stop sweating'.”

"He said he had had a sore throat for about a week, went to a walk in clinic, was diagnosed with strep throat and put on antibiotics, but he was so sweaty and just wanted a break from it."

"He looked pale and was indeed sweaty, so we took him back and ran some blood tests."

"His white blood count was the highest I’ve ever seen and he was diagnosed with leukaemia."

"We sent him to another hospital for immediate treatment, but we were informed he died literally hours after arriving. Incredibly sad, I couldn’t believe it."- madicoolcat

"I am a nurse, so naturally my mother called me one day when she had strange symptoms."

""'Earlier today, I had this feeling like there was a squirrel running around in my belly'."

"I reassured her that it was probably gas."

"It happened again a few days later when she was in the car with me."

"Something made me take her right to the emergency room."

"The doctor evaluated her and basically accused her of making things up."

"I asked for a different doctor, because she is not a complainer or a drug seeker."

"Turns out it was a malignant brain tumor (glioblastoma) that was manifesting itself as abdominal seizures."

"They said she had 1-2 years to live."

"It is now 7 years since surgery, chemo, and radiation and she is still alive."- feistynurse50

Some Things Need To Be Seen

"Patient’s wife called."

"Patient had a temperature of 98.6."

"No other symptoms."

"I explained that was a normal temperature but the wife said 'that’s a fever for him'.”

"She said she felt like something was wrong, despite no other symptoms."

"I told her that I respect that and that if she feels something is wrong she should get him checked out in the ER."

"The ER doctor called four hours later and said they did all they could do for him but he died of sepsis."

"He appeared to be normal when he got there but rapidly declined."

"That gave me a new appreciation that we truly can’t evaluate someone thoroughly over a telephone."- DisastrousNet9121

The Cause is More Important Than The Symptom

"8 year old girl gets brought in complaining about back pain she'd had for 3 months, several different doctors had given her painkillers to no avail."

"After about 5 minutes I asked her if she had any problems going to the toilet, she says it's 'foamy' when she pees."

"Bone cancer."

"She made a full recovery, and from what I know is in her 20s now, but to this day I hate how she'd been suffering for 3 months and no other doctor had bothered to even ask any more questions as to why an 8 year old girl was getting severe back pain."- PalpitationAdorable2

Never Fault A Doctor For Being Thorough

"Still in school and I was not present for this patient’s initial admission but rather her clinic follow up."

"However, patient was healthy 50-something year old who had an extended nosebleed after a long hike."

"It wouldn’t stop so they went to ER to get it cauterized/impacted (happens all the time)."

"Anyway, they did a CT scan as protocol and discovered she had a 20+ cm tumor on her uterus that was wrapping around her right kidney."

"She was immediately referred to a serious academic hospital and had a specialized oncology surgeon remove it."

"Amazingly, They got it completely removed without even having to damage the kidney."

"She had an amazing outcome and about a half a foot scar running around her abdomen from the surgery."

"I do not believe the CT scan was due to the nosebleed itself but rather I imagine as they looked further into her blood work and coagulation studies they found something that warranted further work up."- KocoaFlakes

Most of the time, a cold is just a cold, and an achy foot is just an achy foot.

Even so, should you have even the slightest bit of doubt, there is no shame in consulting your doctor about it.

As doing so may turn out to be a literally life-saving decision.


broken heart hanging on wire
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

When it comes to romantic relationships, it's a lot harder to maintain a relationship than it is to start one. And unfortunately, it's all too easy to end that relationship.

A lot of things can end a relationship, and sometimes, it could be as simple as a single comment. Sometimes it's so hilariously stupid that you can't fathom being with the person any longer. Other times, the person says something so cruel that you know it's time to run. And sometimes, the comment isn't even necessarily bad -- just ill-timed.

Redditors know all about this and are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor AdditionalDentist100 asked:

"What's something you confessed to your partner that ended your relationship?"

Faking It

"Not me, but someone I know was finally told that her husband was faking his English heritage, background/upbringing in England and fake accent. Dude kept it up for years, eventually admitted that it was all a lie and that he grew up on West Coast."

– NE_Golf

"I would think that was a lie but there are people who have faked being a 9/11 survivor. Apparently this type of stuff happens more frequently then I'd imagine."

– jdefr

Oh, The Humanity

"That I didn't rinse off the Mac and cheese noodles. This isn't even a joke it's a true story."

"They were done cooking and I didn't rinse them off. And yes this was a break up waiting to happen I guess lol."

– Ohlookavulture

"It says right on the box not to rinse them."

– Strong-Solution-7492

"The starch is good for the sauce. Dodged a bullet, I'd rather die alone than eat sh*tty mac & cheese."

– pleachchapel

The Past Is Not The Past

"Didn't happen to me, but a guy I knew married a girl I knew (both a bit older than me) and everything seemed great. However, they were at a party and someone mentioned that the guy used to smoke weed in high school (he admitted it, didn't think it was a big deal). She divorced him a month later, claiming that she couldn't forgive him for smoking weed. 😳"

– bomland10

"There had to be something else going on with her because this is so ridiculous. It's not even something he was currently doing."

– woodenmittens

But Faaaamily

"I didn’t want us to move in together with 6 other relatives."

– Ne0nGalax-E

Three Words, Eight Letters

"I believe it was "I love you.""

– AssistantManagerMan

"How f**king dare you!"

– Illustrious_Cancel83

"Oh yeah, I was out of line."

– AssistantManagerMan

And She Communicated

"I wanted better communication sooo she broke up with me."

– Plus-Bunch-4265

"I mean….."

– Outrageous_Egg6340

"Loud and clear."

– EchtGeenSpanjool

Run!

"I said, while crying because he got angry with me at a restaurant, that “I am sometimes afraid to tell you how I feel because I’m afraid of how you’ll react.” And he said, “well, thats f**king pathetic.”"

– internetgoth

"My partner had a habit of starting a convo by asking how I felt about something, then would criticize me for feeling what I felt. It always ended up being a debate about why I felt the way I did. It was never okay for me to feel sad, worried, scared, etc."

"Over time I started to feel anxious when he’d ask questions, and purposely responded vaguely, or just straight up said that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing (which would incite anger or more judgment)."

"Eventually my response became exactly that. A teary “I don’t know if I want to share because I’m worried about how you’ll react/respond” and his responses were along the lines of “that’s stupid” “you’re ridiculous” “don’t be an idiot” “seriously?”"

"I don’t know if it’s because I got so used to it, or from being distracted by all the other bigger things in the relationship…but for some reason I didn’t even notice that this was another bad thing until reading this comment. It was just…normal."

– alexanteros

Looks Always Matter

"It’s not necessarily what I confessed, but I showed him my picture from 8th grade and he couldn’t handle that I used to look like I did in 8th grade."

"If I knew that I had to peak in middle school I would have at least plucked my eyebrows 🥴"

– aero_love

""Sorry babe, you just weren't hot as a middle schooler. Gotta end it here.""

– bobbitdobbit

Happy Ending

"True story. I confessed that I wanted to do more for her. I thought I was neglecting her and working too much."

"That next week, she sat me down and told me that I was threatening her independence and that she needed a week to think about us. The week after that, she broke up with me."

"I later got the real reason from her former best friend. She never had a guy who wanted “all in” like I did and panicked."

"At the time I was destroyed. LOL I thought I was going to marry that woman. Turns out I was one woman off and my next relationship would turn into my current family. So all’s well that ends well."

– Salty-Technology8912

Better This Way

"Broke down crying during a more realistic war movie. She told me to suck it up."

"After she confronted me for drinking too much I finally sought VA disability. Diagnosed with depression, PTSD, anxiety, among other things. Bills started pouring in and I told her we can’t afford certain luxury things because I was the sole breadwinner. I said I felt like I was drowning and my head is slowly slipping under the surface. She told me to “figure it out.”"

""So, I did. We divorced. And I’m much more happy and no longer on the train of “be a man and tighten your boot straps.” I got help and know that it’s okay to do so."

– NyetRifleIsFine47

"So much easier to keep your head above water without the anchor around your neck."

– Probably_Not_Evil

The Cards Don't Lie

"That I didn’t believe in astrology and tarot cards. She then said her tarot cards told her to break up with me. Sure dodged a bullet there."

– Zenith_21

"The tarot cards were right! And still you don’t believe!"

– TDLMTH

Let's Hear It For The Boy

"I didn’t confess, I just went to a couple bars with her to dance. She left me because “YOU CAN’T DANCE!” Of all the things that she could’ve said that was the weirdest reason ever. Like, I had no response. I was 28. I’m happily married for 22 years now to someone who I constantly do bad dancing for because she thinks it’s hilarious. I mean, since I was told I can’t dance, I developed a habit of dancing badly when celebrating ANYTHING. It’s a real crowd pleaser. I am loved for my bad dancing now."

– generic230

I can't dance either! But this is exactly why we all need to find someone who loves us for our quirks, not despite them.

A brown mini pinscher laying down, has it's ears perked and looks to side in worry
Sarah G./Unsplash

I have been left utterly bewildered by what some people believe is acceptable thought, conversation, and behavior.

Like... "Do YOU hear you?"

It shows when a person lacks life experience and/or brain cells.

Words expose everything.

And sometimes shock is all that is left to grapple with.

Redditor nlwfty wanted to hear about all the things people have overheard that left them utterly stunned, so they asked:

"What's the most out-of-touch thing you've heard someone say?"

I once a friend's friend moan about how she and her husband were nearly destitute.

Almost penniless.

All while she was straightening up the house for the new au pair they had just gotten from Columbia.

The Who?

Over It Maid GIFGiphy

"My boss once told me to have 'the maid' drop my car at the shop. WTF!!"

amboomernotkaren

Be Happy

"'You won't be happier at work if we pay you more, but we need to figure out why workplace happiness is so low.' This coming from a guy that made 10x what I did and was born into old money."

Dirac_comb

"I had a job that was paying below market rates and 'expected' daily overtime (unpaid, natch) and was trying to figure out how to improve morale. They were considering bringing in consoles and having video game nights after work... as if we weren't stuck there too long already."

"I did have the fun of leaving, then being asked to come back as a contractor to help out, and taking advantage of being on a short-term contract and giving no f**ks to suggest that maybe they should consider at least TRACKING the overtime people were working, even if they weren't going to pay for it since there was probably a whole extra job's worth of hours in there and maybe hiring another person might improve morale and reduce the risk of the kind of errors tired people make."

"Didn't stay long as a temp. Apparently telling the truth and discussing facts with your co-workers isn't good for morale >_< They told everyone I was leaving because I got a better offer (!), but I told everyone exactly what was really happening when they asked XD."

princess_ferocious

It hasn't?

"My dad (who is now the Director of Accounting for the school district I teach for) was talking about how my starting pay was way more than his starting pay."

"I said, 'Well, yeah... The cost of living has increased a ton since then.' This motherf**ker straight up said, 'No it hasn't.'"

"He started working there in 1992. This conversation happened in like 2017 (about a year after I started working there). Again, he is the director of accounting."

pjsans

Move On

"'You seem sad.'"

"My mother to my sister, at her husband's funeral."

blarg-zilla

"My sister's son was murdered. Two weeks later my mom asked her if she was over it yet."

NeverCallMeFifi

"One of my sons was murdered 12 years ago. Many people started telling me that I needed to 'move on' after 4-6 weeks. My brother refuses to say my son's name, so I no longer speak to him. Sending my deepest condolences to your family from a mom who understands losing a child to homicide."

PDXer328

Good Idea!

New Girl Facepalm GIF by HULUGiphy

“'I don’t know why people get big mortgages. Just save up for a few months and pay cash for a starter home!'"

Hopeful-Moose87

People with money always seem to have a plan, unless the plan is sharing.

FInd the Treasure

Dragons Den Television GIF by CBCGiphy

"When people were complaining about not being able to afford housing/food/living in general, one of the Dutch ministers (I think he was a minister or at least the leader of a party) said something along the line of 'well, find a rich boyfriend then'. ah, yes, that will solve the crisis!"

pastelchannl

Dumbfounded

"I went to an Ivy League college with lots of children of extraordinarily wealthy families. When discussing inequality and its effects on housing, my professor briefly mentioned how mortgages are out of reach for a growing number of Americans. The girl next to me stopped the class, and with a confused face asked the professor why people don’t just buy their homes in cash outright because 'surely the interest means it will cost them more over time.' The professor was dumbfounded. I found out later that she is the heiress to a major luxury brand that you have all heard of."

wildblue2

The Increase

"My former landlord and his wife dropped by to tell me and my financially struggling 20-something roommates that they were raising the rent, by nearly 25%. They said, 'We noticed on Craigslist that neighbors had higher rent so we’re doing the same.' The wife then earnestly reminded us that we’ve been great tenants but maybe we just needed to find some higher-paying jobs. 🙃."

agingcatmom

Not Me

"I was waxing a woman’s eyebrows once and she was complaining that sometimes after she gets a massage the pillow leaves a circular indent on her face and she can’t go out to lunch after. She then asked me if that ever happened to me? I was like ma'am I wax people for eleven bucks an hour; I’m not going out to lunch lol, let alone getting massages."

lomi08

Investments

Money Invest GIF by ProBit GlobalGiphy

"Something like: Give a rich person $500 and they will invest it into $1000. Give it to a poor person and they will spend it in a week."

"Yeah exactly give it to someone who’s needs are met and they can save… give it to someone who needs to eat/pay rent etc they will spend it to survive!"

ExaminationLucky6082

You need money to make money.

One of life's biggest lessons apparently.

So someone give me some money.

Grossed out woman
Photo by OSPAN ALI on Unsplash

When we thing of something being gross, or nasty, or cruel, there are certain examples that we can all think of, like bullying or an uncleaned bathroom.

But there are other things in our lives that are actually much nastier than we would expect them to be, and we can only really uncover the truth by taking a closer look at them.

Cringing already, Redditor Strawberry_no_cake asked:

"What is nastier than people realize?"

Not So Sweet Now

"Ice machines in restaurants."

- Goodygumdrops

"I worked at a golf course after I lost my law firm internship during the pandemic. I basically just cooked people easy food (burgers, hot dogs, fries, BLTs, etc.) and tended bar in the clubhouse."

"I can confirm that the ice machine can get gross. I’d always do a quick wipe down clean if I saw anything on the ice, but it was typically on parts of the machine that never touched the actual ice we’d use."

- S**tfacedGrizzlyBear

Unexpected, but Makes Sense

"RN here: Hospital floors!"

"Seems obvious, but apparently it isn’t. I can’t believe how many folks will allow their CHILDREN to sit or play on the floors, or just generally treat them like they are sterile. I don’t even wear my work shoes into my own house."

"The other day I spilled a few drops of tea on the floor where I work… gave it a very light wipe with a cloth and the cloth was BLACK."

"I think people assume that since it’s a hospital the floors are in mint condition… absolutely no way, lol (laughing out loud)."

- gracebloome

Secondary Symptoms in Autoimmune Diseases

"Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis."

"Thanks to drug company ads, most people think it's just about going to the bathroom a few times a day. There's never any mention of fissures, fistulas, fevers, extreme pain, extreme fatigue, depression, anemia, drug side effects, joint pain, painful and horrific surgeries, mouth sores, skin disorders, etc."

- reddy_kil0watt

Our Enemies Don't Even Deserve This

"Dementia, especially advanced dementia. It's not just quirky memory problems, your brain controls every bodily function."

- youngboomergal

Carer Fatigue is Real

"Being a caregiver. Again, people know it might be nasty, but I think they still overlook the awful experience it is for people who are caring for an elder."

"My mom took care of my bedridden grandmother for three years. The amount of s**t everywhere (she had chronic diarrhea, and I don't know if it's just me, but old people's s**t smells like something of another realm), awful body odor (even when we were cleaning her constantly), the difficulty of changing diapers/sheets/covers as constantly as she needed (at least two times during the night)."

"So what I meant is that sometimes people think is 'nice' of a certain daughter/son to take care of their old parents (at least in my country where putting your parents in facilities is not common). But it's just such an intense, nerve-wracking, hard, and disgusting job, with no breaks, with little rewards (because at least my grandma was not in her right mind), and almost no social recognition that it blows my mind how underappreciated it is."

- FuelSelect

One Word: Cancer

"Cancer. People know it’s nasty. People know it’s nasty as all h**l. But here’s the thing. Going through it myself, I could have never imagined how nasty it truly is."

"I watched my mom fight stage four ovarian cancer 18 years ago (I’m 40 right now for reference). She was so far along, and so riddled with the cancer that she was given weeks to live, and sent away from three oncologists who told her to check into hospice and prepare for the end."

"Thankfully she found an oncologist (who is mine now) who took her in, and went to war with her. They cut her open from the chest down, and spent hours plucking tumors out of her while rearranging her internal organs. Taking out the bad stuff and building what he could with what was left. Then two long rounds of chemo. Hospital visits. Illness left and right. Side effects. Recovery. It was h**l for her, but she beat the odds and lived."

"Watching this, I understood what I could. I saw the pain, but now, going through it myself, couldn’t possibly comprehend how bad it truly was. I saw the illness, the nausea, the neuropathy, all the stupid side effects that hit you for no reason at all."

"So yeah, cancer. Everyone knows it’s nasty, but man is it even worse than that!"

- jdizzle161

Travel Luggage

"Luggage. It gets rolled throughout the world, often in gross airport bathrooms where floors are literally wet with pee, and then when people get to their destination, the first thing they do is toss it on the bed to unpack."

"Come to think of it, this also makes hotel comforters that never get washed even more disgusting."

- jgilbs

That One Article of Clothing

"Your belt. Think about it, it´s basically the only piece of clothing you never wash. And you always have to touch it after you pooped and before you wash your hands."

- KeplerFinn

Dusty Keyboard Keys

"Your keyboard."

"Seriously man, wash that thing. I can see the dirt from your window!"

- BowlOfJello___

A World of Germs in Your Pocket

"Phones."

"One time I was in line at a food service place, think Chipotle style where you tell them what you want and they make it behind the counter."

"There was this sweaty Door Dasher guy who couldn’t really articulate the order so he handed his phone to the kid behind the counter. The kid proceeds to take his phone, starts swiping and touching it WITHOUT GLOVES ON, and goes right back to touching people’s food."

"Disgusting."

- white_cyclosa

Where Has That Been?

"The top of a soda can. People buy them from a store and put it right onto their mouth without hesitation."

- fuzzynavel5

Far Beyond the Stereotypes

"OCD. It's not some goofy personality quirk. It's h**l on earth."

- MERT-x123

"'Oh, you have OCD? Well, how come your house is a mess?'"

"Oh, I dunno, maybe because I'm so consumed with intrusive thoughts I can't function?"

"'lol (laughing out loud), I get those too! They're normal, just ignore them.'"

"ha-ha-ha-ha sob."

- SerakTheRegallian

What We Wear Everywhere

"Shoes. They are filled with sweaty feet and go everywhere. Think about the gas station and airport bathrooms. The bathrooms you can feel the ick in."

- golamas1992

Also, Watch Straps

"Your watch strap: mine is white and the notches for the buckle go all the way around and every week I have to clean out all the lint and build up to stop it going funky. Makes me shudder at the idea of other watch straps where it may not be as obvious."

- durkbot

Kids Who Don't Know Better

"Speaking as a teacher of four- to five-year-olds:"

"Kids with colds who do not know how to blow their noses or cover their coughs and sneezes. Sometimes they just leave the snot on their faces, or wipe it on their clothes. They can produce a mind-boggling amount of snot!"

"The awful gross things kids will willingly put in their mouths, and then share with others!"

"I love them regardless!"

- CreepyCandidate4449

We're absolutely squirming at the thought of all of these situations, mostly because we haven't thought about them to this degree before, or perhaps even considered it (we're looking at you, belts).

Take this as a reminder to clean the things you haven't in a while, and perhaps take some extra health precautions in public spaces where other people may not be.