People With Cancer Reveal When They First Realized Something Was Wrong
Cancer can present itself in a variety of ways, and sometimes, it presents no symptoms at all. The moral of the story? Don't ignore abnormalities in your body, and never try to "tough it out."
HippoLips asked, People who have/had cancer, how did you know something was wrong?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
As someone who has suffered from ulcerative colitis, this is too real.
My doctor had me get a colonoscopy because of blood in my stool. He thought it might be an ulcer caused by some medication; turned out to be a tumor. Turned out to be a very large stage 1 instead of the stage 2-3 they originally thought. I lucked out big time. I was under fifty, hardly a typical age for it to happen.
Catching it early is the key.
I went for a general checkup because I was concerned about some red spots on my arms. The doctor almost didn't believe anything was wrong until the results from the blood work came back. The spots were petechiae from low platelets and my white blood cells were through the roof. I have leukemia. Actually, I'm in remission now.
Never ignore lumps or chronic fatigue. They are sign something is very, very wrong.
I was super tired all the time, like sleep 18 hours a day and hardly able to keep my eyes open the other 6. Then I noticed a lump on the side of my neck. Turned out to be Hodgkin's lymphoma, I have my 2nd chemo on Wednesday.
Well this is terrifying.
I had a headache that didn't go away for an entire week, I kept vomiting, and I was having weird episodes, which were later diagnosed as seizures. It was a brain tumor.
Sarcoma consists of cancerous growths in connective tissue.
My daughter at 12 was complaining that her knee was sore. We chalked it up to growing pains. Then one evening she stood up from her chair and fell, again complaining that her knee was very sore. She had a tumor on her left femur - osteogenic sarcoma. Eight months of chemo followed, along with knee replacement surgery. She's been cancer free for nearly 16 years now.
Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma is the more common type of lymphoma, and has a relatively high survival rate.
I'd been feeling run down and kind of tired, but I put that off to having family in town staying with me. After they'd left I didn't recover quite as quickly as I normally would, thought I was catching a cold. I met up with my typical Sunday night dinner group and while I was sitting in the restaurant I started getting chills. So I went to my car, grabbed a sweatshirt and sat in the sun. It was probably 80 degrees and I was shivering, teeth chattering and chilled to the bone. I went home and bundled up and fell asleep on my couch. When I woke up I was burning up, temperature 104.3. Not good.
Called my bff (she's an ER nurse) and she put me in touch with one of her docs. He wrote me a prescription for an antiviral. I started taking it and it didn't help. I was getting weaker and weaker, barely had an appetite and coughing so bad my bladder would leak.
After a week I went to urgent care. They put me on an antibiotic and diagnosed me with a lung infection. The antibiotics didn't help. After a week of cold sweats, no appetite, weakness and a fever that wouldn't go away I went to the ER. They admitted me and kept me in the hospital to try and diagnose my illness. After 8 days and numerous tests they had my fever under control but not the reason for my sickness. I was home when the hematologist called me and told me I have Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, and it's in my bone marrow.
I just had my second round of chemo last week. Things went pretty well and I didn't get too sick afterward. Today I shaved my head because my hair was falling out fast and in handfuls. I have a good prognosis and the cancer I have is very treatable. I hope those of you out there who are dealing with cancer are doing okay, hugs to you all.???????
Cancer is often misdiagnosed or overlooked in children.
I started my first period when I was 12 and it didn't stop for three months but my doctor just continued to say it was because it was my first period. Then I suddenly looked like I was six months pregnant but they still kept saying I was fine. It's only when my mum shouted at them that they sent me for more tests and discovered my stomach was swollen because it was releasing fluid to protect itself from something abnormal. That turned out to be a tumor in my left ovary, which was the size of a grapefruit. They caught it just in time before it spread and I had six months of intensive chemotherapy after surgery. I've just celebrated my 10 year anniversary of being in remission which is awesome! I still keep an eye on my periods though xD
Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia occurs when bone marrow produces too many immature lymphocytes, a type of white blood cell.
It took me a really long time before I thought anything was wrong. Over the course of 6 weeks, I went from being able to run a 7-minute mile to having to sit down on a bench to rest halfway through walking home from school (less than a mile). I asked the running subreddit, and they said it was probably just a lung infection or something else treatable with antibiotics. Red spots (petechiae) popped up on my upper arms and calves. At 130 pounds, I felt like I was carrying an extra two hundred pounds with me when I tried to climb stairs. When I finally convinced myself to go to the doctor, they drew some blood, saw the white blood cell count and instantly referred me to a hospital when they saw the enormous white blood cell count. At this point I still wasn't concerned, thinking it would all turn out to be something else, that it couldn't, wouldn't, shouldn't be cancer. When I got admitted to the hospital, I was thinking how I would be out of there by morning. It didn't really hit me until I had been there for almost a week and knew the exact type (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia) before I actually even started to worry.
Doctors estimate that 3 percent of all cancers are a result of Lynch Syndrome.
I had colon cancer at age 25. I really started to notice how long it would take to clean up when I was at work. I had the feeling of an elephant sitting on my chest. It usually takes me an hour to clean up and go home but my oxygen levels were so depleted I could only tolerate 5 minutes of exertion before I had to rest. I held off for a month with going to the doctor because I didn't have any insurance at the time. My blood counts were all jacked up, red/white blood cells and iron counts were so bad to this day they have no idea how I was walking/talking and not in a coma. I also lost a ton of weight, I usually hover around 285 and was down almost 100 pounds., but I didn't really think anything of it since I lost the weight over a couple months and was exercising, dieting, and working a second physical labor job so I just figured in 3 months I had lost some weight. I didn't realize how drastic the weight loss was until I was at the hospital. I started the second job in August and never went into the hospital until January. I didn't have any major complications until December and had to wait until January for my insurance to kick in.
Luckily for me, a colonoscopy revealed the issue and the caught it before it spread to my lymph nodes.
25 is really young for colon cancer, and I was youngest in my doctor's career to be diagnosed with it. Turns out I have Lynch Syndrome which genetically predisposes me to develop cancers at a younger age and puts me at a higher risk of getting another cancer.
I turn 30 next Monday and thankfully have not had any recurring issues for this.
When body dysmorphia works in your favor...
Fortunately, my teenage insecurities probably saved my life- I was in a store trying on a swimsuit and was basically staring at myself in the mirror thinking how awful I thought I looked (not uncommon for 16-year-old girls, unfortunately) and I noticed a few very, very dark spots on my back and arms. It looked like I had sharpied on dots in some places, it was really weird but I think it was because of the awful fluorescent lighting that they looked so pronounced. I knew my family had a history of very serious skin cancer, but I'd never been tanning and always wore sunblock so I thought there was no way. My dad made me go in for a skin check just to be safe, and it turns out I had multiple malignant melanomas of varying stages on my arm and both upper and lower back. Luckily even the worst of them were caught early enough that I was just left with some badass scars from the biopsies and subsequent tissue removal, but I still think if I hadn't gone to H&M that day how much worse it could have been.
Talk about a lucky break...
I was walking the dogs and I suddenly felt a sharp pain on the left side in between my ribs and simultaneously on my left shoulder. After almost a month of misdiagnoses, I went from healthy 16 ?????-?year-old to stage 4 histiocytic sarcoma, a rare form of lymphoma and given 2 months to live. I am now 20 years old and in remission.
"Toughing it out" is the worst decision one can make.
In the early stage (1-3 months prior) I started to become more and more lethargic & weak in general; at the time I thought I was just lazy and falling out of shape. I lost the energy to do most basic things but never thought it was totally out of the norm. Food also became uninteresting and I generally lost my appetite (normally I'm a big eater/foodie.) As a side sleeper, I noticed my arm would fall asleep during the night semi-frequently (I'd wake up and couldn't feel it at all, it freaked me out at the time.) I also started having some pretty decent night sweats (while feeling freezing cold) and picked up a persistent toothache that didn't go away.
The final straw was when I went to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth removed due to that toothache. After the surgery, my body basically crashed (couldn't heal itself.) I started to get weaker much more rapidly, my skin got very pale, and my lips basically lost most of their color. 2 days later, I fully passed out for the first time in my life.
Now this will seem crazy, but I'm the type of person who never goes to the doctor for anything, I always just "tough it out." Even after all this stuff happened, I still didn't go in to get checked. But finally after 2-3 weeks of this and basically "rapidly dying," my wife begged me to go in to find out what was going on. They took my blood for some tests and within an hour the doc called saying my counts were insanely low and told me to go to the E.R. immediately (I even questioned the doctor over the phone "are you sure this is necessary?")
Found out if I didn't come in that day, I would have probably died within a few days. That night in the E.R. is when shit hit the fan; My pores were literally leaking blood as I had no platelets (blood cells that help clot your blood) and needed about 6 blood transfusions. So at 28 y/o, that's when I got the bomb dropped on me that I had Leukemia.
And thus began my interesting, humbling, and life-changing road to recovery.
Cancer can be tricky, especially when there are no inflammatory markers, which generally indicate the body is fighting something.
My stage 3b colon cancer was detected in 2008 during a colonoscopy. The tumor was in a polyp that was large enough to have existed for 10 years. It was my first colonoscopy at age 62. Before that, my doctor had specified fecal smears, which showed no problems. My regular blood tests had not shown any problems. I think they monitor for excess protein in the blood. I had 30 cm (11") of upper colon removed and underwent chemo for 6 months. I was in the hospital for about 5 days and outpatient during the chemo treatment. I lost a little of my hair; my hair is thick and I attribute that to my few native American genes. I have some loss of feeling in my fingers and feet from the chemo and my sleep clock if a bit off. I am a veteran so the VA paid for everything. My case was unique because I was symptom-free including having no protein markers in my blood. Because of this, my tissue sample was kept, with my permission, and my case was included in a study on non-inflammatory cancer. I have been cancer free for 7 years.
Carcinoid tumors grow very slowly, and most often originate in the digestive tract or lungs.
Kept getting pneumonia, like very frequently 2-3 times a year for about 3 years. Had many chest X-rays and CT scans that turned up nothing. Eventually, I had camera scope my lungs and found out I had a tumor blocking the bronchial tube to my upper left lobe. It caused bacteria to continually give me pneumonia because that portion of my lung was more or less partially collapsed and essentially doing nothing. Turns out it was a carcinoid tumor which I guess isn't technically cancer but its classified as it. Had a little more than half of my lung removed and my lymph nodes and now I feel great.
Never ever ever ignore gut issues.
I've had issues with my stomach and acid reflux for as long as I can remember. For 2 and a half years every month or so, I would get an excruciating stomach ache that felt like my entire abdomen was on fire followed by a day of feeling like I had gotten punched several times in the stomach or had done hundreds of sit-ups. A couple doctors would run tests, but never found much of anything. I've been scoped from both ends more times than I'd care to count. Finally, during a cat scan, or whatever it's called where they send you through the donut, they found my appendix was swollen. They rushed me over to surgery and took it out. It exploded after they had gotten it out, and the surgeon decided it didn't look right. So they did some labs and called me back in for a follow up before I had healed. They found that I had appendiceal carcinoma (sp?) and they had taken some images of "goo" that was strewn throughout my abdomen. What I was led to understand the was that was an early sign of it spreading, and due to what they had found in my appendix, I had to have another surgery. Unfortunately, they had to slice me open from my belly button down, before taking my secum (sp?) and six inches of my large intestine. They also took out most of my inwards and scrubbed the goo off. Took me a long time to recover, and left me with a bought of body dysmorphia that led to depression and unfortunately weight gain.
You're never too young to get cancer.
I'm 27, found a lump in my boob and went to my GP and a month later was having a mastectomy. I'm currently having chemo and on cycle 2/6.
So ladies, check them boobies cos age means nothing!
If it looks like a bite but doesn't go away...
Found a small red bite/spot on my back, felt itchy. Took a picture and kept an eye on it for a few weeks, it changed shape, and sort of collapsed into itself; turns out I had skin cancer, had it removed and have a check-up every 5 years.
Pancreatic cancer is one of the more difficult cancers to diagnose and treat. It killed Apple founder Steve Jobs in 2011.
My dad got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer three days ago. He has been feeling bad the last year, worse the last 6 months. He has been seeing a doctor from the start. Apparently, it's a bitch to notice.
What he has been suffering from is loose stool, dramatic weight loss (from 80kg to 55kg in a year) muscle loss, difficulties to walk due to muscle loss and pain in his neck.
Other symptoms of pancreatic cancer can be yellow skin, yellow eyes.
Just a warning to people who might experience these kinds of things, get it checked before it's too late... :(
Cancer often presents no symptoms, so pay attention to ANY abnormalities. This guy got lucky.
I didn't and that's the scary thing!
I was a fit and healthy 28-year-old guy, went to the gym three times a week, played and trained for football twice a week all whilst eating relatively healthy. Cancer wasn't really on my radar.
Fortunately one day in the shower I felt a slight lump but truthfully didn't think it was cancer. I google diagnosed a harness epidydmal cyst but thought I'd better get it checked out. I waited a while for an appointment and eventually got it checked out. Dr agreed with my diagnosis but offered me an ultrasound scan for peace of mind, I agreed
A few months later my scan comes around, there's me sitting there fully expecting the all clear ( I was still a healthy young and active guy still with no other worrying symptoms) then Wham! Sorry Mr. Tallyblade but you have testicular cancer, was not expecting that!
By chance, I'd caught it early which made the treatment a whole lot easier. Thankfully I've been all clear for three years and I'm now expecting the arrival of Tallyblade Jnr
Guys, check yourself before you wreck yo self
You can always rely on Mom to hold you accountable.
Not me, my stepbrother, he's 20 now but 19 at the time:
Was walking funny, kept having to hold on to things, was really out of breath walking from one side of the room to another. Acting generally dozy, eyesight had deteriorated quickly over a few months.
He also had the shakes - now this is the key symptom, as my stepmom has a neurological disorder triggered by too many anti-depressants, which has caused her to shake. She was panicking that she'd passed something on to him and forced him to go to the doctors. He wouldn't have gone otherwise, as he's been mothered to the point of being essentially 10 years old, he has absolutely no self-awareness.
CAT scan one day, 24 hours later called straight back into the hospital, had so much fluid in his brain that they needed to insert a stent that day. Found a brain tumor that had been causing it at the top of his spine. He went through two rounds of chemo and one of radiotherapy, wasn't sick, the only ill effects were losing his hair and feeling tired all the time. Now in remission, has almost been cancer-free for a year. The whole treatment lasted maybe 5 months? Good work on the doctors!
People Break Down The Exact Moment They Realized They Were Being Manipulated By Someone They Trusted
Manipulation is designed to be stealthy. We hardly recognize it when it's happening to us because our abuser has forced it to appear under wraps.
But when we recognize it for what it really is, we really feel like we've been smacked across the face. There is no other descriptor for it. Usually we've trusted and loved those that manipulated us.
A Platitude Of Pleasing<p>You never know where the next blowout is coming from. Any time something needs to be addressed, you might try to bring it up once, gently, if you're feeling brave. If you meet the slightest bit of resistance, or you don't feel like that fight in the first place, you just go "okay dear" instead. You find that you'll put the argument off until next time, and hope that whatever you thought to bring up won't have any consequences, because you'll be hearing about those, too. It sucks, and I'm glad you can speak about it in the past tense.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TheGreatestAuk/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TheGreatestAuk</a></p>
Wrong Or Right Or Just Not Agreeing?<p>When I started realizing that I was feeling like I was constantly walking on eggshells. I never knew which version of my friend I'd get when we saw each other, or when we hung out. I also just completely stopped disagreeing with them because I didn't want to hear them tell me how wrong I was if we didn't share the same viewpoint.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/WhatArcherWhat/" target="_blank">WhatArcherWhat</a></p>
Being Used<p>My best friend suddenly distanced herself from me. But every now and then she'd call and ask if I wanted to do something, and I was encouraged because I thought it meant that things were still good between us. It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that she only called when she wanted to do something that required a ride, since she didn't have a car. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I don't use people that way so I didn't recognize user behavior. You can bet I do now.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Goldeverywhere/" target="_blank">Goldeverywhere</a></p>
Hiding The Receipts<p>I was living with my former best friend and his gf at the time. When I asked for grocery receipts (I trusted him & his ex to buy groceries bc I didn't have a car at the time + our work schedules were different so I couldn't go with them) and they wouldn't provide any. The only reason I became suspicious was bc they started asking for a ridiculous amount of money for my half and the actual amount of food wasn't adding up. Up until that point they never asked for a crazy amount and I was content with our groceries, but I noticed they became extremely greedy. When I then asked to see a banking statement, they wouldn't even provide me with that either.</p><p>At that point I just realized they were finessing me out of extra money and I started buying my own food. I just bit my tongue bc we only had like 2 months left on the lease. They tried to gaslight me and make me seem like the bad guy any chance they had (almost the entire time I lived with them actually). Eventually, I grew apart from him once I moved away and the only reason he hit me back up was bc she cheated on him so he probably didn't have anyone else to turn to (go figure). We don't talk anymore.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/0MG1MW3T/" target="_blank">0MG1MW3T</a></p>
Ah Yes, Good Old DARVO<p>My mother and I have always had a rocky relationship. She's always encouraged me to tell her what's wrong, however, any time I would she'd immediately go "sorry I'm such a terrible mother, I give you everything you want and it's still not good enough! Why don't you just go live with someone you don't hate?" Keep in mind this happens over small things such as "mom, I'd appreciate it if you'd knock before coming into my room. You know how easily I startle and you barging into my room really upsets me"</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/paytonc0510/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">paytonc0510</a></p>
How Do You Do This To Someone<p>8 years into the relationship. As we're sitting down he explains to me that the "first couple years" we were together he only saw me as a place to crash and free rides, but he loved me NOW, and even though I accomplished all the goals HE set for ME so we could get married he said "I never really thought you could do it". Oh and also you got fat, but don't worry we can fix it! It was like a magic veil lifted and I finally saw who he really was. F**k you James.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DoNotUseOnHumans/" target="_blank">DoNotUseOnHumans</a></p>
Be My Friend And Not Theirs<p>She always managed to make me do things I didn't really want to do but the last straw was when she decided I had to stop being friends with two mates of mine over something stupid that offended her. </p><p>Cut her off over that and she then proceeded to act derisively ("you'll come back"), then badmouthed me and then begged me to take her back. Ten years later I am still friends with those two guys and she's still out of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FatherTedHackett/" target="_blank">FatherTedHackett</a></p>
Victim Time<p>When literally every time me and my mom talked she played the victim.</p><p>I was trying to help her raise me, ask me about my grades and stuff. For her I just existed, she wasn't responsible at all.</p><p>I grew up watching her play the victim to others, and I was always on her side, cuz she's my mom you know. Also I never really understood what was going on.</p><p>I started getting older and older, and seeing sh*t after sh*t she did. I understood what she did to my father, to my step-dad, to my sister, to her friends.</p><p>Probably I'd be the next one who she would use and throw away.</p><p>I talked to her... and you know the result. The victim. Nothing it's her fault.</p><p>The last time we talked, I was expecting the victim card. When she started speaking, I already knew what was going to happen. I didn't even said a word, I just agreed with her, and the next day I moved out. I'm not wasting my time.</p><p>It was the last day before quarantine, I remember it as if it was yesterday. Friday night: saturday morning I was packing my stuff.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NotFromHeel/" target="_blank">NotFromHeel</a></p>
Sixteen Years Of Made Up Lies<p>After 16 years of marriage I realized my now ex was manipulating me. I would work and take care of the house and if I asked him to do something like get a job or clean up he would stage a mental breakdown and make me feel bad for asking him for help. </p><p>He would play up a horrible childhood or PTSD from the military to make me feel like I need to take care of him. Then would play on his computer all day and smoke while I worked. </p><p>Found out that a lot of his horrible childhood stories were made up and that he never made it through basic training in the military. I am happily with someone now but still catch myself cringing when he does things like cook or clean thinking that he is going to yell at me for being lazy. Meanwhile he loves me and is just doing things to take care of me. I'm working on deprogramming myself.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/HolyCelestialCow/" target="_blank">HolyCelestialCow</a></p>
Sometimes It's The Mother-In-Law<p>Took me until after the engagement to realize that my cheating ex fiancee was trying to browbeat me into submission.</p><p>Anywho, I quickly recognized emotional blackmail and manipulation from my MIL after getting married to a different girl years later due to that experience. I called her out on it.</p><p>She... Doesn't like that. But since my wife and sister-in-law and brother-in-law also recognize it they've got my back.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/engineertr1gg/" target="_blank">engineertr1gg</a></p>
Just as new mothers encounter the sudden, influential developments of powerful hormone changes, protective instincts, and milk production, so new fathers undergo some key changes of their own.
Their socks become exclusively white, climbing higher up the calf than ever before. All their shorts sprout cargo pockets and clunky belt loop cell phone holders. They start to really lean in to their old records.
Regional Laws<p>"Dad, driving past a cemetery: Did you know anyone living in a 3 mile radius of a cemetery isn't allowed to be buried there?"</p><p>"Me: No, I had no idea. How come?"</p><p>"Dad: Yeah, you're not allowed to bury the living"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1d2k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TinyLuckDragon</a></p>
For the Face Plant Image<p>"Why do Scuba Divers fall backwards off a boat?"</p><p>"Because if they fell frontwards they'd still be on the boat" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjv4mt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hatsnatcher23</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Just told this one to my bf and he still has his face in his hands" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjka0w7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sxeoompaloompa</a></p>
A Mammal of Few Words<p>"What did the father buffalo say when his child left for school?"</p><p>"Bison" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp257?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TatooineLight</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"LOL" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp9p0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BennuH</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Told this to my brother, he laughed his a** off." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4cvq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Type10Civilization</a></p>
Baggage<p>"When I do home improvements I always use my step ladder"</p><p>"I never knew my real ladder" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjlkab?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DavosLostFingers</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Whoever took the ladder, please return it or further steps will be taken." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjm2htz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WaldhornNate</a></p>
Woah Woah Woah, We're in Public<p>"Me: I'm not very hungry, I just want something easy"</p><p>"Server: maybe the chicken strips for $6"</p><p>"Me: maybe it does, but that doesn't help my hunger" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjuq78?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mcnoobs_</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My husband was facepalming for solid 8 minutes after I read that joke to him." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjnee7m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Madanax</a></p>
Not Wrong<p>"Two dudes were on a boat with a few cigarettes, but they didn't have anything to light them, so they threw one of the cigarettes out of the boat, and the boat became a cigarette lighter." </p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjkeoz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OrangeMirrorJuice</a></p>
Watch the News Before Saying This One<p>"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?"</p><p>"It's okay, they eventually woke up."</p><p>"I cringe every time." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk0ej7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">unicorndreamz94</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My 10 year old tried this one a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I had just read news about a missing local girl. 'So I answered that yes I heard about the missing girl' Scared the sh** out of my 10 year old" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjo3ssv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aubear11885</a></p>
Got a Million of Em<p>"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fshhhh."</p><p>"I'm sorry but I'm about to say something tasteless. Water."</p><p>"I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off."</p><p>"Unfortunately though, I can't really tell these jokes since I'm not a dad. I'm a faux pa."</p><p> -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk9igl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WholeGrainMustard</a></p>
G-Pa With the Physics Humor<p>"Why does the movie "speed" have no director?"</p><p>"If it had direction, it'd be called velocity!"</p><p>"-my grandpa, earlier today" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4wdo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ConceptUpset4681</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's better than a regular dad joke. It's a grand dad joke." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkuc30?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">VaultBoy9</a></p>
A Surprising Amount of Elevator Humor<p>"I have a joke about elevators."</p><p>"It works on so many levels......." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1lrv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">M0ntgomatron</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Did you hear about the corruption at the elevator company?"</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"It went all the way to the top." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkyjrp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RandomName222222222</a></p>
Cleaning up is hard enough when it's just clearing a month of dust bunnies. Can you imagine cleaning the debris left by murder, suicide and violence? I have a really great friend who used to do crime scene clean-up for a living. The pay is incredible; it starts at $55 an hour. But there is a much higher cost in mental well being. Death affects you in ways you don't always feel immediately. My friend has stories of nightmares, depression and pain after leaving scenes of horror. Why make all that money just to spend it on therapy? It takes a certain type of person.
***TRIGGER WARNING. CONTENTS ARE SENSITIVE ***Redditor u/MemegodDave wanted to hear from the people who have the stomach to come in after crime and tragedy
to try to bring back some form of normalcy to the location by asking... People who make their living out of cleaning murder scenes, accidents and the like, what is the worst thing you have experienced in your career?
Wrapped Up<p>Dad had to saran wrap a guy's intestines back into his body once.</p><p>Dude had surgery and pushed too hard on the toilet. Dude was fine, according to Dad, just holding himself together on the toilet while a group of firefighters tried to figure out why the hell they were sent instead of paramedics.</p><p><em>Update</em> When he pushed too hard he opened a scar on his torso/ab area and it all fell out onto his lap. Should have mentioned this when I wrote the post. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko9lq0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">noblemile</a><span></span></p>
Flesh<p>One that stuck with me was a suicide in a bathtub, we couldn't drain the tub, so had to use a coagulant then scoop up the bloody mess into biohazard bags. Same for the toilet. Another was a suicide by gun in a basement full of boxes which was a nightmare to clean as even the smallest bit of flesh had to be found and cleaned up. The smell of the smallest piece of flesh meant the job wasn't done until it was found. </p>
Walk Away<p>Medic here, first responder to a motorcycle collision. Guy who crashed was a friend. He'd been torn in half and almost decapitated.</p><p>Had to walk away from the scene and let my driver and another crew handle it. Think about it daily. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko4y58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Sabre-23</a><span></span></p>
All over the House<p>I posted this on another thread so just copy and pasted it but this was one that I had to do</p><p>Clean up after a murder. It was a rehab house for ex cons, 4 bedroom house with communal bathroom and kitchen. Sunday morning and guy A is in his room listening to music pretty loud, guy B is in the kitchen cooking his breakfast, B knocks on A's door and tells him to turn it down, there's a small argument and B returns to his breakfast and A turns his music up. So B grabs the biggest knife in the kitchen, kicks in A's door and stabs him through his left shoulder, entering by his collar bone. </p>
"ride-alongs"<p>Not a cleaner, but my brother's best friend is a police officer and I heard all about this horrible experience:</p><p>My brother's friend took him on "ride-alongs," all the time. One day, they were responding to a welfare check. This guy's neighbor saw his apartment door cracked open for several days and called the police. They went to check it out and found a college student (18-19) who had shot himself. </p>
Melt Away<p>When I was a bartender, a couple of clients told me the worst part about the job is cleaning melted bodies.</p><p>I don't know the science behind that, but from what I understand is if a body stays for a while in a certain condition of temperature and humidity, it melts. And those guys have to remove that person's remains in buckets. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknsqfm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kaynny</a><span></span></p>
Audrey<p>I had a great uncle who helped clean up the bodies left behind by hurricane Audrey in 1957 and he said that the smell persisted in his nose for weeks after. It got so bad that he went to the doctor to see if they could do anything and they clipped all of his nose hairs and the smell went away. It was explained to him that the smell had soaked into the hair but I don't claim to know the validity of that statement.</p>
Hazard<p>One of my first jobs after moving I did this, and the job that had me walking wasn't even a scene as described. We did all types of hazmat cleans and the worst was actually a couple went on vacation and came back to backed up sceptic. Think about 1 ft thick hard dried out crusty sceptic waste spread throughout the entire 1st floor of a house. Not going further into detail here. Was nasty.</p><p>Septic, not sceptic. On break and mobile, so yeah... </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknvzn8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kamenovski</a><span></span></p>
After the Crash...<p>Working for a tow truck driver that get the calls after crashes. The worst one for me was a family of 6 coming back with over 10 pizzas for a baseball team. It was a head on with a tractor trailer (18 wheeler). The ambulance took the bodies away of course, everyone died but one little guy. There was so much blood and vomit, diapers, toy dolls covered in blood, the pizza was everywhere inside of the car like 2" thick on everything and all over the road. </p>
Fresh Meat<p>Friend of mine does this.</p><p>His worst was an elderly woman who died in a bath. Skin falls off like long cooked meat. So he just saw piles of skin/flesh</p><p>God just writing this makes me gag. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknwqwu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PlagueDoc22</a><span></span></p>
We all know the telltale signs that something is making us uncomfortable. Suddenly, we begin shaking, either in our hands or knees or toes. Then, usually, sweat starts pouring out of every part of our body, making it look like we just ran through a rainstorm underneath a waterfall. Finally, we lose our regular speech functions. Everything goes out of sync and our words don't match up to what's in our minds.
What's interesting is that what usually brings about these fits of uncomfortableness differs from person to person, as evidenced by the stories below.