Autism, along with other neurological disorders, are often characterized as something they're not. It can be hard to explain to a neurotypical person, but all it takes is a willingness to learn. Here are some of the things that people with autism wish others would understand.
u/theBrD1 asked: [Serious] Autistic people of Reddit, what do you wish more people knew about Autism?
Sometimes things just need to be explained.
Something I wish my teachers knew when I was growing up; me avoiding eye contact doesn't mean I did whatever they accused me of, nor does it mean I don't feel sorry, and it's certainly not meant to be disrespectful. It's just that I don't do well with eye contact.
Also; I know my social skills aren't the best, and I do try to work on them. But not telling me when I do something wrong and thinking the mere fact you're upset with me should lead me to realize what I did wrong and how to do it better instead of just telling me isn't f*cking helping.
Things can be overwhelming.
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Just because I can act "normal" a lot of the time does not mean that my autism doesn't affect me. The majority of my time spent with others is literally an act, and it's extremely mentally exhausting and emotionally draining to the point that I have frequent meltdowns when I'm finally alone and able to be myself again. This world wasn't made for me or people like me. When I work in customer service my bosses think I'm the perfect employee. I'm genuinely nice, always doing my best, a quick worker... They don't realize I had multiple panic attacks before work and that when I get off I'm so drained I go home and cry. It's so hard to keep up the act of being a "normal" human to the point that I don't know how much longer I can do this.
I just wanna say I really did not expect this amount of replies to my comment, and reading all of them has helped me realize I'm not alone in this. I was under the impression I probably wouldn't do well anywhere, but I'm going to look into some of these other jobs that people recommend and hopefully I can get my life back.
"Seems autistic."
I wish people knew that not everyone with autism 'seems autistic' but that doesn't mean they don't struggle or don't have autism. Blending in, even though it may seem beneficial, just makes it worse for me because when you don't seem like you're struggling it's harder to get help, and when you do an 'autistic thing' people might think you're a freak.
Adults have autism too. Seemingly all services for autism are for children. It's ridiculously difficult for me to get and keep a job because of it, among other things, and that fact is usually overlooked.
Socially awkward.
Every case is different, you can't just assume it's the same with every person. It feel like everyone thinks people like us are just all socially awkward, but it can be a lot more then that
For example I have quite mild Aspergers syndrome and to most people I seem like everyone else, but I've met people with more severe cases that can't even speak and need constant help. Never assume every person with autism is the same.
To not be seen as lesser.
I wish more people understood how terrified I (and possibly others) are that it will bar us from jobs, opportunities and relationships - a normal life - because other people see us as lesser, as difficult/not worth managing or as broken. I feel like things are often harder just because people view me that way; it perpetuates itself.
Frustrating.
We don't "look autistic." And telling us that is not a compliment.
"But, you're too pretty to be autistic" Yeah mate and you're too douchey to be around me.
Showing no signs.
A lot of people with autism show no outward signs of it. One of your friends, coworkers etc. could be autistic and you'd never notice anything strange about them. Maybe they're a bit shy or awkward in certain settings (in my case group conversations), but nothing major.
For those people autism isn't necessarily a disability. As such, there would be no reason to treat them any differently than others even when you do find out they are on the spectrum. As a general rule of thumb, don't assume anything about an autistic person. Find out what they're like and respond appropriately, don't assume they have the same strengths/struggles as your autistic nephew or an autistic celebrity or whatever
Edit: I should probably clarify that I am only speaking for a specific group within the community here; people who don't want or need special treatment (be it from friends or people with authority) just because they have autism. As an autistic person, that's how I feel. But there are also a lot of people with autism who depend on special treatment and couldn't survive without it, especially people with low functioning autism. It's a very broad spectrum. I never meant to imply that autism as a whole is not a disability.
Personally I think low functioning autism should be its own separate disorder with its own name, because it would avoid this kind of confusion, but that's a whole other discussion.
Different for girls.
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I wish people knew how much different autism is on girls.
Researches on this topic are just beginning to be made. I'm not from the US, and in my country there isn't any research being done nor available in our language (so far I've only found resources in English), so there is A LOT of misinformation even between psychologists and other professionals.
Autistic adults.
Autistic kids grow into autistic adults. Just because we get better at not showing our autism doesn't mean we've "grown out of it", as many people think. It just means we've been forced to hide part of ourselves to fit in and oftentimes it comes at the cost of being able to fulfill all of our needs, or hell, even just being ourselves.
The Aspergian is a really great website written by aspies and other neurodivergent folk for aspies and other types of NDness. They have a lot of stuff relating to issues dealt with when you're on the spectrum as an adult in regards to symptoms, interaction, relationships, etc. And they also promote autistic artists as well. And Special Books By Special Kids is a really good channel with interviews with people of all abilities, including things like autism, ADHD, etc, as well as physical stuff too. It's a pretty great way to learn more about other people and how they want to be treated. As well as how they live their lives.
Stupid is as stupid does. And it’s pretty obvious when some poor, misinformed, potentially ignorant soul needs to be put in their place. Luckily, there are a lot of witty ways to do just that. We love a good euphemism.
Wanna know the best way to call out stupidity when you see it? Stay tuned.
U/lientubay asked: What's the best euphemism for telling people that they're stupid?
Get a load of these sick burns. I swear, the people of Reddit are harsh.
Call outs are a universal language.
In Russian we have "intelligent thoughts have always followed him, but he was faster".
We have something similar in German: "Intelligence is chasing you, but you are faster."
Be your own Easter Bunny.
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You could hide your own Easter eggs.
The great Harvey Korman had some Alzheimer's @ 2005, and he still went on a talk show. They asked him how he was doing and he said he was OK. "Now I can hide my own Easter eggs." RIP.
That’s cold.
“At this point, you can only impress me."
This reminds me of something I saw in a show recently. One character said "Would you think less of me if ____." The other character said "I could never think less of you."
I lol’d.
I think I saw this one here previously "You aren't the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don't die".
Once told this to my brother, his immediate response was "hey, please don't die".
It takes a very intelligent person to properly call out a dumb person. Weird how that works, huh?
When the bears are smarter than the tourists.
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Now I know what Douglas Adams was talking about.
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."
As the park rangers in Yellowstone say- making a bear-proof trash can is very difficult due to the considerable overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.
That’s a gross mental image.
In Greece we say "when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella".
In German we ask God for help. "God, let there be raining brains" this sounds so weird but idk how to express it better lol.
Edit: In German it's "Gott, lass Hirn regnen".
It’s probably a bad sign when your lawyer calls you dumb.
Lawyer to client who shared detailed attorney-client privileged strategy memorandum with a whole bunch of people, including an adverse party:
Client: "Is there anything you can do to fix this?"
Attorney: "No, you've pretty much waived the privilege and now they know everything."
Client: "Is there anyway to put a positive spin on this?"
Attorney: "Well, I suppose the judge might buy that this proves that you lack the mental capacity to form specific intent."
These next ones are just plain cold, but probably very much deserved.
Meanness from a Canadian is probably well-earned.
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On a Canadian jobsite
Ahh Terry, having you around is like losing three good men.
Oof, that’s harsh.
He's so far behind he thinks he's first.
I had a keychain as a kid that said, "She who laughs last thinks slowest.”
Those are some gross socks.
Once heard someone say "Well he's about as sharp as a sock full of soup".
"Sharp as a marshmallow" was one that went around my friend circle.
In the words of the great prophets Smash Mouth, “I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed”. That self-burn is perhaps one of the most classic euphemisms. And I just almost misspelled “euphemism”. So I can definitely relate to that lyric.
A good way to exercise your brain? Keep thinking of creative ways to insult people. Trust me, it works like a charm
For starters, lying on a resume and exaggerating the details to appear more qualified is not the answer.
The truth will eventually expose you and you'll find yourself back in a familiar position – being jobless.
Curious to hear about the lengths job applicants have gone through to stand out from the rest, Redditor Indianfattie asked:
"Recruiters and HR : what red flags do you find in a resume which means the interviewee is not what they seem?"
Mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes. But while one missed out over an unfortunate misunderstanding, another was given the benefit of the doubt.
The Maybe Felon
"A finalist applicant for a senior software developer position checked the box for 'yes' next to 'have you ever been convicted of a felony?' Our workplace does not automatically count out felons so I looked him up, only to find out his charges were from 10 years prior and had been lowered to a misdemeanor. This guy had been checking 'yes' on those boxes for 10 years and had never actually been convicted of a felony."
Taking A Chance
"Five years worth of graphic design experience, but no portfolio because of a crashed hard drive. This was before cloud backups were much a thing."
"Rest of the story - I rolled the dice, gave them a chance because all of the other applicants were terrible, and they were one of my best hires."
Lies, All Lies
As these potential employees discovered, fibbing was just a waste of time.
Not Bilingual
"Had a buddy put that he could speak Japanese fluently on his resume and applied to a Japanese manufacturing company in the US. During the interview, the hiring manager asked him about it and he promptly responded 'hai, nihongo ga wakarimashita'. So they went and got one of the Japanese QE's and was like 'Ok Mr. Honda, have a conversation with this guy'. Needles to say all my buddy could say was 'hai' and it was very awkward for everyone involved. He is a dumba**"
Expired Certification
"Along the same lines: A candidate put 'SPHR 2007" on his resume. SPHR is Senior Professional in Human Resources, a well-recognized certification for HR-related positions. To be valid, it has to be recertified every three years. So I asked, 'You've had an SPHR since 2007?' He started to hem and haw, so I pressed him. He finally admitted that his SPHR credential had lapsed in 2010."
The "Lazy Liar"
"I had a resume once where a guy had obviously just copy and pasted job descriptions as his work history. It was blatantly obvious because everything was in third person, guy didn't even take the time to edit it. 'Candidate will be able to' type wording. I gave him an interview and asked him tough questions based off of his supposed work experience. I was morbidly curious if he was just bad at writing resumes or just a lazy liar. Turns out he was the latter. When I interview someone I usually try and ease up on questions when it's obvious the candidate doesn't have the required experience. I don't want someone leaving totally demoralized etc. I didn't let up on this guy though and when he couldn't answer a question I would comment that he had it listed in his resume... Hopefully he learned a lesson."
– Nothing_
Pages And Pages
Some applicants thought a lengthy resume or curriculum vitae would be their ticket in.
What's the "1" For?
"Dude put on his resume 'CCNA -1' under certifications. The CCNA is a Cisco network certification. During the interview I asked what the -1 meant. He said 'oh I missed the certification by only one question'. I asked how we could verify that, he sort of shrugged."
All About Length
"A NINE page long resume for someone who has 3 years of work experience."
"If it's more than 2 pages I'm becoming skeptical that they aren't capable of simplifying."
An Extensive CV
"A lady I know was looking for a job and asked me to see if my work had anything available. The hiring manager said I could send through their details to the lady and they would have a look."
"The woman sent them a 13 page CV listing every class she took in high school and college (and she had changed majors, so that was 6 years worth of college classes). She listed every job she had ever done, and apparently had a thing for dropping jobs after a few weeks. The hiring manager asked me to pass on a message to the lady about how a CV should be no more than 2 pages and to maybe give her some pointers. I send the lady a text and she replied 'Lol'."
Make 'Em Squirm
"I once read one of someone who claimed to have a Sicology degree from the university I had attended. Since it was several states away, this stuck out. Since he didn't know how to spell Psychology, I obviously knew he was lying but it was open panel interviews so I spoke with him face to face anyway. The look of shock and terror in his eyes when I said I was thrilled to see that we were alums from the same place and started discussing details of campus was kind of fun to witness."
Scared 30 Rock GIF by HULUGiphyKeeping Up With Charades
"This is my nightmare when people have given me advice on 'fake it till you make it' and was told to put a skill on my resume that i did not have."
"Never put down a skill you don't know anything about, but you can exaggerate proficiency in a skill. That's kinda expected at this point."
Irrelevant Websites
"I got a 6 page one for an internship, 9-10 point font, basically no spacing. It included 4 self-made websites. 2 were down, 1 was from when this person was like 14 (roughly 8-10 years prior to this application), and one was just an 'under construction' image. The internship had nothing to do with making websites, but why would you include those (as well as like 95% of the other nonsense included) if theyre just unused."
– Fadnn6
Redditor SewerSleuth74 mentioned that too many jobs on an applicant's resume within a short amount of time was a big red flag.
However, with the pandemic upending many workers' loves in the past year, job recruiters have changed their perspective.
The Redditor also noted:
"Red flag doesn't mean they're out or have no chance, it means I will dig deeper. Could be circumstances or it could be you. Depends on your qualifications and skills, not experience, that dictate my actions."
The bottom line is, think twice about faking your resume.