How many times did I see the American Pie films growing up? Answer: A lot. They were always on. Nowadays, I'm not so sure a lot of the humor in that series would fly, but that's another story. One of the most infamous elements in this series of sex comedies is the relationship Finch (Eddie Kay Thomas) has with the mother (Jennifer Coolidge) of his part-time bully/part-time friend. Coolidge's role in each of these films is little more than a cameo, but it helped popularize the popularity of MILFs on screen (and certainly in pornography).
But do relationships like these happen much? Turns out quite a few people had stories to share after Redditor PurposeMinute asked the online community,
"People who actually f***** their friend's mom, how did you find out she was interested?"
"We caught up for a bit..."
"I helped my workmate get home after he got blind drunk and got into a scrap that he promptly lost. He was fine, but I'm not sure which the company didn't like more: the fact that it had happened at the Christmas party or the fact that he was under the legal drinking age.
I took him home and met his mum; I'd previously known her through her friendship with my youngest brother. I knew she dropped out of school early but didn't know why. Turns out she was pregnant quite young.
We caught up for a bit in her lounge and had enough drinks to be uncool to drive. I ended up being offered a spot in the Airbnb bungalow in the yard for the night, which I happily took her up on.
When she showed me the room, she turned to me and said "Look; I'm horny and we're both single... so what do you want to do about it?""
Is that... is that soft jazz I hear playing in the background?
"It started out..."
"It started out with my buddy and myself getting drunk at a party, the night was settling down and he and I were just bs'ing before calling it a night. I jokingly told him his mom was hot and if given the chance I'd take it. Well, I guess he thought it was funny and there was no chance with his mom so he told her what I said. Fast forward a month or so we're at her house for Thanksgiving dinner. I notice she's having a lot of wine throughout the evening, after dinner she comes and sits on my lap in the living room and that's when I knew exactly how the night was gonna end. I was early 20s and she was early 40s, she taught me a few things that night. After that night I started to affectionately call my buddy son, he was pissed about it for a long time but eventually got over it."
You called your buddy "son"?
You brave soul.
"I didn't have sex with her, but we made out and almost did it. But, we didn't.
One of my high school friends and I were in a bowling league on a team with his mom and a couple of her coworkers. On Fridays, the three of us would go bowling just for fun (league games were on Wednesdays). One Friday night, when my friend was out of town visiting his dad across the state, his mom suggested that she and I could still go. So we did. It was fun. We'd met at their house, and she drove to the alley. When we got back to her house to get my car, she invited me in. That's when the making-out started. Just out of nowhere. She started it. It was great, but we just mutually stopped suddenly. I felt guilty because, well, it was my good friend's mom. I guess she felt guilty because I was her son's good friend. She told me it just wouldn't be right. I agreed.
Anyway, I haven't seen either of them since a couple of years after high school. (Not because of that, though. We still bowled and hung out for a few more years and never spoke of it. As far as I know, he still doesn't know. Life just happens.)"
"It was totally random..."
"It was totally random and by surprise. I came to pick up a friend to go to a party. He had already left (this was before everyone had a cell phone). His mom had been fighting with her husband for a long time. She opened the door and let me in without saying a word, and moved out of sight fast. She was drunk. I came in, she started stripping. We never spoke about it again."
Something tells us that probably didn't do much to help with the stress or loneliness.
"I was walking to the pool..."
"Didn't have sex with her but only because I turned her down.
I was walking to the pool in my apartment complex when she yelled at me to come over and talk to her. I did and while I can't remember what she said it was more than obvious what she was wanting. What made it even weirder was I knew her because I'd fooled around with her daughter."
Things That Are Normal Where You Live But Crazy Anywhere Else | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"She stuck her tongue..."
"She stuck her tongue in my mouth which kind of gave the game away. We went upstairs to the bedroom and had about three hours of the best sex ever. I was 22, she was 41. Her daughter (my friend) was passed out drunk in her bedroom and slept through the whole thing."
Probably for the best that she didn't hear it. That would have made for a really awkward morning.
"I actually met her..."
"I actually met her during my friend/coworker's wedding at Niagara Falls. We sat near each other during the ceremony and we struck up a conversation when she offered me a fruit snack. Turns out she was divorced and lonely, so we started dating pretty soon after, which was super convenient because she was on my commute home from work. It didn't work out though because of the age difference. My friend ended up finding out and actually ended up punching me in the office parking lot."
"We repeated that a few times..."
"Visited my childhood best friend after ~10 years away, I was in my early 30s. We grew up from 1st grade to graduation and then I moved away, never visited. Finally, I reconnected with my old best friend and I made plans to visit when I was near my hometown for work.
I get to his place a bit early and his mom is there babysitting his kids. We have about 30 mins to catch up, she'd known me since 1st grade and was basically a second mom to me back then. She was always a good-looking woman, but now in her late 40s maybe, early 50s, she looked amazing. Something was in the air, but I was too hesitant to call it sexual tension.
My friend gets there and we have a good catch-up and make plans for later in the week. She left about halfway through our visit and tells me to come over after but not to tell her son. I was blown away to have my suspicions confirmed. I was NOT gonna miss that chance.
I went over after and we started making out as soon as I walked in the door, the same old door I'd been walking in and out of since I was a kid. It took about 3 minutes to go from making out to sex on her couch. The couch she never let us sit on as kids, in the room with white carpet we weren't allowed to walk through. lol.
We repeated that a few times that week before I left town again. We chatted on the phone a few times and she admitted she'd wanted it for a long time. Now that it was out of her system she said we couldn't do it again. I've gotten close to my old friend since then and we've spent more time together. There's no awkwardness between her and me, if anything we're closer than ever in a real caring way. I hope he never finds out, I'd hate to hurt him that way."
"Ex-girlfriend's mom. Had dinner at her house every Sunday while dating the daughter. Six months after the breakup I see the mom at the store, we catch up. mom invites me to dinner since the ex never goes anymore. First dinner was normal, second involved too much wine and a long, deep kiss goodnight. Third week we didn't even bother with dinner, just straight to bed."
"I went to a few barbecues..."
"My friend's mother-in-law, if that counts, I went to a few barbecues at her house one summer and she caught me admiring her legs, challenged me cheekily and we ended up spending a few fun evenings together, fun times."
There is so much material here that would fit right in a goofy sex comedy... but take note that relationships like these can get messy (especially if you're still in contact with your friends).
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Has science gotten to a point where we can make mashed potatoes by just adding water to flakes, producing a smooth and consistent texture?
Am I still going to take the extra time to wash, peel, chop, boil, and mash my own potatoes, getting zero textural consistency but maximum deliciousness?
Because sometimes the "old way" is just better, and I'm very serious about my potatoes.
Reddit user Devastator1981 asked:
"What’s one thing you still prefer to do the old-fashioned way—regardless of technology—and why?"
My seriousness about potatoes is, apparently, a passion matched by many...
Board GamesArt Design Game GIF by Scorpion DaggerGiphy
"Physical board games/card games. Most of the app versions of the games I like aren't that great. Plus, it's more fun to play with someone."
"Especially old ones. My friend has a Trivial Pursuit from the 80s. All questions are completly impossible, so we added improv/clues/charades. Funniest boardgame I have ever played."
"Yes! Family game night is a weekly occurrence for us. We have close to 100 board games."
"Great answer. Shuffling and fanning cards just feels so satisfying too"
"I have the original Cluedo board game that used to belong to my grandfather as a boy. Still one of the best board games ever made."
"I print photos and keep them in photo albums. I like to keep the special moments of life as a book and go through it page by page."
"There’s something satisfying and nostalgic about seeing the physical photos. I have my favorites displayed in frames, so I can see them every day. Makes me happy."
"I only have a few photos in a photo album but I love this idea, I need to get a camera that prints out the pictures itself"
"I agree, I took a look at my album with photos from childhood and it was so satisfying to go 15 years back and enjoy those special moments again... I like physical photos because I know they're in a safe place, they will be forever with me and can't disappear unlike the photos on my phone. Also, they look more... realistic. Or is it only my thought?"
"I back all my photos from throughout the years 3 times. One on my PC hard drive, the second on an external hard drive, and 3rd in the cloud system. I'm paranoid that if I had them in just one place, I could lose them forever"
BooksRead Beauty And The Beast GIF by DisneyGiphy
"Read. Love to have a book where I can turn the pages."
"I was the same until my eyesight started to weaken. Reading glasses are a pain. I have several bookcases full of books that I love, and love to reread, but I have rebought many of them on my Kindle. Being able to change the font size was a game changer for me."
"Books over a kindle always"
"I prefer paper, but I listen to audiobooks a lot because of how much I drive for work."
"Books, where you can turn the pages, are so much more relaxing than swiping on a screen all day, plus I love the smell of new books and the sound of the page when I turn it, but those darn paper cuts if you aren't careful."
"Drawing. I never really got the hang of digital art. It's much easier and more satisfying for me to have all of the tactile input from my work. Also, I sew, and along the same lines I prefer to hand-draft patterns."
"I think digital is easier than traditional painting. No buying paint/brushes, no mixing color, no prepping canvas, no varnish, no storing canvas and transporting when selling."
"But traditional drawing and painting also has its pro's like you said :-)"
"One of the things I love about art and artists is that no matter the medium, content, or materials, it is always art and always something to be appreciated."
"I personally use a combination of both. I can make a beautiful sketch and then I transfer it into my drawing tablet, colour and go from there."
"I've also found that I can sketch and get concepts out so much faster by hand than if using a digital medium. Something about being able to easily vary pressure while hand drawing is difficult to replicate digitally. But I do really love the ease of coloring and features available in a digital medium. Pros and cons in both!"
"I love drawing physical art but I definitely want to get into digital so I can touch up my drawings and maybe even move over to that format."
ButtonsPressing Season 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Physical buttons for climate controls in a car. I refuse to buy a car that only uses a touch screen for everything. Much safer to not have to fiddle with a touch screen while driving."
"Touch screens are a great invention. They’re awesome for so many things. They open up so many possibilities for all sorts of technology."
"But not everything needs a damn touchscreen. Touchscreens on cars are typically a huge distraction and hazard. It might look pretty and shiny but yeah, I’d much rather have a knob I can twist without looking."
"And why do things like dishwashers, washing machines, and refrigerators need touchscreens? I feel like it just drives the price of those things up. If it doesn’t add some sort of functionality I’d rather not have the touchscreen. Touchscreens are dope but they don’t need to be on everything"
"Physical buttons on most things. I understand how touch screens and trackpads are more flexible, but I really enjoy the tactile sensation, the certainty that you definitely pressed the right button, the extra sensation that allows you to more precisely press buttons, and the ability to press buttons with things besides your bare finger (like a gloved finger or your knuckle because you're holding something), and probably a few other things I can't think of right now"
"Physical menus at restaurants. I'm with the boomers on this one"
"Wait some restaurants don't have physical menus? TIL"
"QR menus were really frustrating until I upgraded my phone. Also hate when they don’t render right away."
"same like what if your phone's dead? what do you do then??"
"Use your limited data in a brick building to spend 5 min downloading a huge pdf of the menu that’s fuzzy anyways"
Compact Disccd GIFGiphy
"Buy music. Unfortunately buying cds just isn't as easy as it used to be. But I prefer physical media, and just convert it to digital. I hate streaming music. I don't trust the stuff I love to always be available. I like having ownership of what I listen to."
"I love buying and album and find those deep tracks"
"There was a used CD store in my old neighborhood. I loved going in and buying a pile of the '10 for $20' CDs. So much fun for (comparatively, for me) not too much money: the satisfaction of choosing from the diverse selection, the nice walk there and back, listening to the CDs as I ripped them, and then hearing the 'new music' come up in my playlists!"
"Yes. Omg. Buying CDs is so difficult now!! My car has a CD player which I LOVE, I dread the day when cars no longer have CD players and all my CD are filled with dust."
"Same here. I shouldn't need to be hooked up to the Internet to listen to my tunes. That's why when I hear a song I like, I'll write it down, prowl through the library and rip the CDs that have what I'm looking for."
"Make notes on paper. I will typically use index cards because they are not as easy to "fly away" or get crumpled or lost. But hey.... that's just me!"
"IIRC there's some research that shows that writing things down on paper makes it easier to retain than if you write it down on a computer."
"Had to scroll too far to find this!"
"Index cards are powerful. Flip them, fold in half, tear them. If you keep them in a pocket card deck, the startup cost for study is even lower, in many cases, than a phone index card app, and it’s more intuitive to quickly use color-coding or underlining when making them."
"Plus, they’re easy to sort so that you’re self-quizzing harder topics more."
"I also use mine to make shopping lists. Left one-third: supermarket. Middle one-third: Stuff to get at other shops. Right one-third: Where I'm supposed to go for shopping. I list these and cut one card in thirds! Put those in my pocket and I know just where I'm supposed to go and what I'm supposed to get."
Fireepisode 19 cooking GIFGiphy
"Cooking using firewoods. It gives more aromatic flavor to your food"
"I especially love slow cooking stuff wrapped in foil / leaves / etc in the embers. Best potatoes ever. Apples stuffed with honey cinnamon butter. So many yummy things."
"For some reason, I've always wanted to try that. It seems really cool"
"I read this as fireworks and was so confused for so long."
"Charcoal, too. Not sure why, but whenever you burn straight carbon instead of a hydrocarbon, it just tastes better. That teeny little bit of oxygen makes all the difference."
"Propane is great and very efficient, but you just don’t get the flavor."
CoffeeCoffee Time GIF by Jones Brothers CoffeeGiphy
"Not sure if this counts, but I grind my coffee by hand and use a simple brewing method (either chemex or french press) to make it."
"I think having full control over the process leads to better tasting coffee than I get with any automatic machine. Also, having a ritual that I do every morning and takes a little elbow grease helps kickstart my day."
"French press coffee is good but I hate cleaning them. I just use a funnel and a filter."
"I don't use a machine but I use the sort of coffee where you get a spoonful and put it in a boiling cup of water. :)"
"Glad I'm not the only one. I own an espresso machine and electric grinder specifically for it (grinding 6 shots of espresso by hand takes forever...) but if I just want a cup of coffee French press, chemex, and aeropress (for traveling) are where it's at. The minute to weigh and grind are absolutely worth it for the quality over regular store bought pre-ground drip coffee."
Now that you know what Reddit is still kicking it old school about, it's your turn in the confessional.
What do you do the good old fashioned way?
Not everyone is a renaissance person or jack/jill of all trades.
Certain professions are suited to certain types of people.
So we don't have to bad-mouth the jobs we deem out of our depth or "beneath us."
Maybe let's give a few jobs a try and more props to the people who do them!
Redditor atomicturdburglar wanted to help out a few career paths with some positive chat.
"Which profession unfairly gets a bad rap?"
I've had so many jobs. I'm interested to see what y'all add to this list.
From BehindAwkward Lucille Ball GIFGiphy
"Gastroenterologists get a bad wrap because buttholes are gross and who would want to spend time there, but these guys save lives."
"I was a cleaner. People used to treat me like furniture and assumed all kinds of things about me. That was the best-paying job I ever held, with the best benefits, and most vacation! I went back to school for a more 'dignified' career, and my 'dignified' job sitting at a desk ended up being worse in every way."
"Plumbers. People always assume they’re gross greasy old dudes but really they’re extremely skilled professionals."
"I'm straight up so jealous of my plumber. He's really fit and like movie star handsome, nice and great at his job, an honest professional, just built himself a gorgeous dream home in a great neighborhood. Dude is just slaughtering life."
"Janitors. Give them respect, people, unless you want to empty your own trash and clean your own work or school space. Seriously, being nice to the janitor saved my tail one time when I was locked out of a room that contained some vital work material. The big boss didn't have keys to that room, but guess who did?"
"I’m a teacher and the first people I befriend at the school was the janitors. They keep that place running. I made a point to learn about them, things they like etc. and on Custodian Appreciation Day as well as Christmas I make sure to get them a little something as my way of saying thanks."
Sky PeopleShock Electrocute GIF by Dr. Paul BearerGiphy
"Meteorologists. Lotta jokes along the lines of 'must be nice to be wrong half the time and still keep your job.' Do you know how difficult it is to predict the weather 2-3 days out, let alone a week out?"
I don't understand the weather. So I'll pass.
Tip Accordingly...kitchen dancing GIF by StaatsloterijGiphy
"Was hoping someone wound say this. I miss working in restaurants. Good Pay, good people. Unlimited time off. Physically exhausting and mentally challenging but so worth it."
Full of Thanks
"Embalmers. Thankless job people think they are creepy but who else would do that."
"Embalmer here. Luckily it isn’t always thankless. Surprisingly, in my experience, families do appreciate and understand the care taken with their loved one which makes it all worth it."
The People at the End...
"Morticians. Really don't get why; they're the last ones to ever let you down."
"A lot of them are family owned enterprises passed down through the generations. If you've grown up hearing about that kind of stuff, it doesn't seem weird at all. Most people don't want to acknowledge our mortality, but it's one of those certainties in life; along with that comes job security."
"But people definitely assume we’re creepy/morbid/obsessed with death when they hear embalmer. And while it’s true sometimes, overall we’re a (relatively) normal bunch who have the unique gift of somehow being able to healthily compartmentalise the horrific things we see on a daily basis."
"My job's certainly gross, but there's usually not as much of an emotional component to it. I've got empathy for people but not enough patience to deal with them all day every day. It exhausts me. But spending hours listening to music, chatting with a coworker or two while figuring out exactly what happened, why this person died? That's rewarding to me."
"I've working in coroner/ME systems for a good while, and there's a fair amount of job switching between county morgues and funeral homes. Funeral homes can pay better and may be less busy, but you also have to deal directly with grieving family members, i.e. take money from them during their darkest days. It's a delicate and often thankless job."
"Auditors. Clients are rude to them. Bosses treat them like s**t. And Public just wants them to work like donkeys and find fraud even though it's not their primary responsibility."
"I think I'm pretty nice to the auditors that come into my company."
"Apart from that one year where I had to explain the same thing to a guy three times and then had to teach him some basic accounting principles, like how to deal with prepayments and why we were accruing certain costs. I didn't want to deal with him again after the first day."
Objection!Law Lawyer GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
"Lawyers, when they're/your/lawyer they're good lol. But yeah people often like, don't understand what the job of a lawyer truly is so people are quick to demonize them."
"Yeah there's some that truly are out there abusing loopholes and being scummy, but most lawyers are just doing what they're supposed to. Making sure their client is getting charged fairly. Even if they are guilty, they still are there to ensure a just punishment and not overkill."
These all seem like reasonable jobs. Some difficult but worth the effort.
There is nothing more satisfying than gorging on a dish with the perfect variety of ingredients creating a symphony of flavors for a completely euphoric experience.
Not all culinary creations excel at this. It depends on the individual whose taste preferences may be different from that of others.
All it takes is one ingredient to spoil the party.
Curious to hear from strangers Redditor poetic__ asked:
"What ingredient automatically ruins a dish for you?"
You would never expect these as responses for the assignment.
When The Emperor Lost His Groove
"Poison. Kuzco's poison. The poison for Kuzco."
Doesn't Plate Well
"Spaghetti sauce if it's a plastic dish."
"A bit of water and lemon juice gets the stain right out of plastic."
Someone Swam In Your Soup
"Little black curly hair."
Nope To Beach Picnics
"Sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Now we're getting somewhere.
Finding The Right Balance For It
"Too many cloves. I have had many tooth pains in my lifetime and the taste of clove oil lingers dreadfully in my mind. I do like curry powder and some of my favorite pickle brines include a lot of cloves. The taste just has to be balanced with the other spices and seasonings. If I get any faint hint of it I'm immediately grossed out."
Doesn't Mix Well
"That piece of spices in your stew that you thought it was meat."
"Ginger? Chomping into a piece of ginger when you thought it was meat.... 🎵You'll get the shock of your life."
"I'll never understand why people think stevia is a replacement for sugar. Doesn't taste anything like sugar. Same with Sucralose."
Let's get specific.
"Jello. I have spent FAR too much time in a hospital as a child. according to my mother jello was basically all I could eat. since I got out, it's been my only culinary hate. taste, texture, just, nope."
There's A Time And Place
"Raisins where there should not be raisins."
"Hey alright! Chocolate chip cookies! Don't mind if I do.... oh F'K YOU!!"
"I want to love Indian and Middle Eastern sweets. They look so good, but nope every time it goes in my mouth all I can taste is rose water. Like chewing on the potpourri from grandmas bathroom."
I'm not a shrimp fan, however, I can eat it when it's fried in tempura batter.
My family would periodically order fried rice–which I absolutely love–whenever we ate at Chinese restaurants.
Even though we ordered pork or chicken fried rice, I found that many of the LA Chinese restaurants we ate at threw in surprise shrimp as if to spite me.
I would pick them out and eat the rest. Now, I don't know if it was just me, but I would still taste hints of shrimp juice every time, which ultimately ruins the dish for me. Yeah, it's just me.
Stay in your lane, shrimp!
Be it for reasons out of our control, or simply because we didn't allow enough time, all of us have shown up to something late at least once in our lives.
And the only thing that could make us feel worse than we already do about our tardiness, is being told "you're late."
Naturally, the obvious response to the obvious reminder would be a simple, "I'm sorry."
Though it's fair to say that when someone so blatantly states the obvious, maybe they deserve a somewhat more original response?
Redditor ReddBolt511 was curious to hear the best retorts people have given, or recieved, to being told they were late, leading them to ask:
"What's the best response to 'You're late'?
I learned my lesson.
"The first time I was late in over two years, HR wrote me up."
"In the evening I went home on time and HR asked me why I was already heading out."
"I told them I have learned my lesson and won't be late for the second time."- atot806
Tell me something I don't know.
"I know, thank you for your patience."- dayglo98
"Sorry I didn’t want to come."- HonestSapphireLion24
"Sorry, I meant to be absent."
"Let me fix that."- stupid_trollzArgue Peace Out GIFGiphy
Gonna have to do better than that!
"A bloke in my high school had a cracker that I’ll never forget."
"Teacher: 'you’re 10 minutes late'."
"Student: 'yeah sorry I was walking slowly'."
"It did not go down well."- Rosemount3051S
Catch me up, why don't you!
'What did I miss?"- rwubmc
Be one step ahead.
"Don't give them a chance to say anything."
"Walk in and say: 'I see you have started without me'."- JustBeingDylanHere I Am Oscars GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy
Be like the superhero they are...
"Walk past them and say:"
'"Well, now we’re waiting for you'.”
"RDJ as Iron Man".- miguelmoen
Maybe just be honest?
"I remember a guy was late for grade 12 chemistry class and our chemistry teacher was really strict and when the teacher asked him why are you late he quickly spat out"
"'Because I didn't make it here on time'."
"It's a great line but he didn't do it on purpose."- nardpuncher
You knew it was coming...
"How do you know my menstrual cycles?"- ThisAnswerIsLitBlack Girl Period GIFGiphy
Next time you find yourself running late, rather than worrying about it the whole time, maybe spend it thinking of a clever response?
You'd be surprised how much is forgiven by a good laugh.