Running from the cops is rarely a good idea, it can be dangerous for everyone involved. We don't always make the best decisions under pressure, though, and those bad decisions can lead to hilarious outcomes after the fact.
Reddit user The_Sleep_Walker asked:
Are We In A Comedy Sketch?
I was "trespassing" in the park after dark with some friends. Two police officers showed up and flashed their lights so we ran around a baseball field to get away. We noticed they were following us so we all hid under those orange construction barrels you see along the highway.
Minutes felt like hours to a young teenager running from the long arm of the law.
...... Some how I picture you lots running around the baseball field in circle with police behind.
At double speed, Benny Hill music blaring.
With them occasionally in front of you, sometimes changing direction of chase.
Garages Are Great
My mom was speeding and the cop was heading towards her. He turns his lights on but has to go a ways further to U turn. My mom speeds up being only a couple blocks from home. We see him u turn just before we turn the corner. We pull into the garage and close the door and see the cop drive by less than a minute later with no clues.
Sounds like GTA when you drive into a spray shop just in time to get a new color for your car.
Don't Follow Directions
House party in HS. About 30-40 kids in a basement drinking. Suddenly cops walk down the stairs (someone just let them in).
Tell us to sit tight and nobody go anywhere. Cops walk back upstairs. We're all wasted.
I finnagle a window open and help my friends and a couple brave souls up and out. I get out, run for a fence my friends just hopped, cop grabs me, hauls me back into the house.
Neglect to put me back in the basement. It's my friend's house so I pretend to belong. Open the fridge, grab a Mt. Dew. Cop walks in with bag of 100 breathalyzer tubes. I meander to the living room by the front door.
Wait for the clear, casually walk out the front door. Make it 3 steps and spolight hits me, cop yells at me. I meander back in, just by the front door.
Spotlight turns off, I wait 5 seconds, f*cking bolt out the front door again. Leap off front porch, sprint through front yards for 4 blocks until I'm in a field. Lay flat and call friends.
Cops patrol by with spotlight, can't see me, go back to the house. Friends pick me up.
I have a lot these we were really good at almost getting caught for stupid sh!t.
Tldr; Escaped a house party surrounded by cops
Edit: This was early 2000's in a suburb in the United States. They took underage drinking very seriously. If caught, you got a Minor In Possession ticket. Fine and court fees were $300-$500. So 30+ tickets that night would net the county quite a bit of cash.
We had a lot of kids showing up in hospitals with alcohol poisoning around that time too. So they were trying to help (maybe).
Man-Hunt Is Surprisingly Dangerous
Oh man, one I can finally contribute to. This one was a while back, I'm 32 now so this had to have happened when I was like...13-14 maybe?
Anyway, a bunch of my friends and I had gathered to play man-hunt. Essentially hide and seek with teams. Except we went all out. We all wore all black, played at night, ..and definitely hid in places where we shouldn't (neighbors backyards, under their cars, etc)
Anyhow, everything was going great this night..everyone is having fun. I got made (scoped out) and had to ditch the current spot I was in and started heading out towards an intersection in my neighborhood. Out of nowhere I heard a speeding car, it slams on the brakes, and I hear a booming voice, "GET ON THE GROUND, NOW!" ...ooohh f*ck. I instantly turned heel and booked it back down the street that I had came from. I hear footsteps gaining on me and got super nervous, but the cop must've saw someone else in closer proximity because he turns 90 degrees and started chasing them. I'm still running for my damn life when I hear, "yo! /u/reesejenks520! over here!"
I turned to the right to see my best friend hiding under a van in someones drive-way, so I jumped under there with him. We hid there for about two more minutes, but more and more cop cars were showing up - and I hear my best friend say, "man, f*ck this" and he takes off jumping fences/backyards of houses leading back to his place. I followed suit. Somehow we made it, and he gave me a change of clothes - a white t-shirt and white hat, and told me I had to go because his parents were getting suspicious. Luckily the game of man-hunt had started at his house, so my bike was there. I definitely rode my bike home the long way. On my way home I saw cops looking through bushes and yards with k-9 units and flashlights, but because I was wearing essentially all white, and on a bike..I guess I didn't fit the description of the guys that they were looking for. They even brought a chopper out in the search.
Funny part is, everyone that got caught and rounded up were sat on the curb literally across the street from my house. So I saw my friends in handcuffs as I rode by. I was terrified that they'd rat me out for some reason, but they didn't. My parents still give me shit for that one. They, naturally, were worried that I'd end up one of the ones in hand-cuffs.
EDIT: the reason the cops went all out like that was because somebody had reported that they heard someone on their roof and thought they were attempting to break in. We weren't. We weren't about that life. We just went really hard when it came to man-hunt. Pretty sure that's the last time we played man-hunt.
No, I Don't Care To Explain
I had just gotten off of the highway, driving 70. And was on this frontage road and was still in the fast driving mode.
A cop goes by in the opposite direction, and I immediately look at my speed and see that I'm doing 65 in a 45. I wasn't speeding on purpose, just in a kind of cruse.
I see him slow down.
My destination wasn't far away so I put the hammer down, just in time to see him pull a U turn. I got up to about 90 before I had to pull in to the place I was going. They had the garage door open already, I pulled in and jumped out and slammed the door down.
My friends were giving me the "care to explain" face. Just in time to the the cop fly past at about 90 with lights on. I waited about 6 hours before I went home.
Ended up going to a massive kegger (500+ people) in the middle of nowhere Iowa. Shortly after we arrived, about 10 or so sheriffs showed up and began getting plate numbers/handing out public intox tickets and mips.
I hopped in my trusty little 93' Geo Storm and waited for the sheriff by the field entrance to get a little ways away from his vehicle before slapping it in first and dumping the clutch.
Made it about half a mile from my friend's house before I looked up and spotted cherries in my rearview mirror. At this point, I figured there was no point in running, so I conceded and pulled over. Turns out that particular sheriff was on his way to a separate call! Biggest sigh of relief, ever.
I didn't even realize there were that many people in Iowa! Was most of the state there?
The whole state! It was a rager.
Just Be Honest About Your Feelings
I was in the military as medical on a training course. Nearly all of us were normally civilian doctors and nurses with limited "real" military training as far as combat readiness. Part of the course was a night time Escape and Evade exercise that was basically hide and seek in the woods. They flew over a helicopter for noise distraction and had taught us some fundamentals, then gave us a red card and informed us that there were U.S. Marines out there looking for us who got rewarded for collecting red cards from every dumbass they detected. We had two hours to cross the woods and reach a lighted tower without being spotted.
The winner was a guy who just walked to the light tower without hiding while loudly muttering about the stupid f*cking Marines and the stupid training exercise and he just wanted to have a cheeseburger. All the Marines assumed that he was already detected and had his card pulled and they focused on idiots like me trying to sneak around. He walked up to the officer at the light tower and handed in his red card for the victory.
Don't Ignore Your Spidey Sense
A party got busted on spring break and I boogeyed our the back door when the cops were filing everyone else out the front. Hopped a fence and ran into a neighborhood security man who was quite out of shape. He asked if I was running from the cops (as the blue lights flash behind us). I say "of course not" he asks for my id and I promptly turn heels and run again. This is where it gets good. Drunk me decided that I needed to run in zig zags to dodge any taser shots and sure enough, I cut to my right and the taser line hits the ground next to me. Turned my head to see the fat guards mouth opened and ran 2 miles back to my hotel room. Safe and sound.
Also cops came for a noise complaint. It was a large rental house in a neighborhood and cops getting called on spring breakers is very normal. For those wondering why he shot the taser, this is America. My brother got a taser pulled on him by the school resource officer for jokingly taking his shirt off in high school. Not saying it's right but it's fairly common for excessive use of force.
am i the only one imagining the security guards face looking something like that Pikachu meme?
Make It A Game
When I was a child, early 80s an officer on a motorcycle pulled my sister over on her bike for crossing to the wrong side of the road for about 40' before turning on our home street. She saw a break in traffic, took it to cross safely, hit the sidewalk and turned on our road. He followed her to our home. She was 16, first week of first job and he thought it more important to lecture and intimidate her for 40 minutes about bikes following rules of the road and no one is exempt to laws before writing her a $15 ticket. She was devastated as she hadn't even seen her first paycheck.
So I made it my life's purpose to spite this cop, we'll call him Dan F. At first it was just talking crap on him with friends. Then yelling at him on traffic stops stupid stuff to irritate. I knew his name and he was the only motorcycle officer in my town at the time and easy to spot and an easy name to joke about. I eventually was quite the adept cyclist and somewhere around 1985-86 it escalated to every time I spotted him I'd find a reason for him to give chase to pull me over for some stupid infraction. The only difference was I rode like the wind and he underestimated that as soon as his lights went on, I had a knack for disappearing.
My irreverence for authority was getting the best of me and I made him chase me too many times, often traffic gave me an advantage to lose him. I even repainted my cycle often or changed up bar tape just to keep it fresh. He knew my hood but I'd goad him all over town. One slow day he was giving me a good run for my money on a Saturday, I bit off more than I could chew and he wasn't relenting today. So took to a school yard I knew well that I didn't attend hoping he couldn't fit that Harley through the back alley pillars that prevented cars on the school yard. He kept on me through the grassy field but it worked. Though landed me in a decent sized neighborhood with only two exits to main arteries and a distance to get to one of them and he spun around going for the one I needed to be closer to safe spots and a radio to alert a car to the other that put me in plain sight way to long to get back without pissed off small town police to grab me.
I saw a lifted truck parked next to an RV in a stranger's drive and laid the cycle in the bed and ducked under the RV. I had to wait him out several hours as he knew he had both exits covered and He rode by about every 20 minutes. Finally after he hadn't been by for an hour I left the same way I went in. I kept worrying my $600 paper route earned racing cycle was going to drive off in that truck.
I decided to chill out for a while and leave Dan F alone. Repainted the bike and avoided him as it was just big enough of a town to have anonymity but small enough to be remembered.
Fast forward to about 1997 I'm graduated school, started a career and professionally our paths cross. I knew him right away in plain clothes and when I saw his name I was glad he didn't know/remember me. When we finished our business he is thanking me for my service and says "Glad to see you grew up well, it's a good thing I never caught you in the act on that damn bike. Say hi to your sister for me. How did you get out of 'neighborhood name' anyway?"
"Same way I went in."
He was always a prick locally by reputation but just doing his job. He remembered me from that first traffic stop when he pulled my sister over with excellent recognition that job requires and when I would yell stupid crap at him after it only cemented my face in his memory. Could've shown up at my door anytime but always wanted to catch me in the act. Turned out to be a pretty decent guy- out of uniform 😂 Never gave him a chance to pull me over in a car in that town.
Not That Big A Deal, Eh?
I was a lanky middle school kid smoking weed behind a building in Canada. I ran short distance track at the time so I was gone as soon as I saw them taking the corner and I guess they decided that the chase wasn't worth the effort.
You were a middle schooler in Canada smoking weed. You could have left at a brisk walk and they would have decided it wasn't worth the effort.
No two people react the same way to a pungent odor, gratuitous violence in film and television, or unruly, off-putting behavior.
As some people have a fairly high tolerance for gore, aren't bothered by taste and smell, and are so patient that they simply aren't bothered by anyone.
Although, everyone has their limits.
And despite what they might say, there are very few people who don't have one thing which even the very thought of will make them gag, just a little bit.
"What genuinely disgusts you?"
Do They Think It Will Just Vanish?
"People not flushing their poop or pee in public toilets."- Acceptable_Fee_1280
"It was that hard to pull the little lever down?"- Scotsgit73
Always Carry Mints...
"Another person's hot breath in my face."
"For any reason."- MaryEstradaGTNickelodeon Bad Breath GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
"People who abuse their pets."- roseteaXx
Being Tricked Into Purchases...
"Ads with a fake close button that just redirect you to the link, particularly pop-up ads."
"I forgot about the mobile game ads with fake mini games that redirect you to the App Store."
"Those might be even worse."- Tyler_Martin1
Cleaning Comes At A Price...
"The goo in the sink drain once you’ve done the dishes."
"Touching this to clean the sink is always a gut-wrenching, vomit-inducing moment."- meiliraijow
Men Marking Their Territory...
"Sitting on a toilet seat with pee on it."- KAWAiiANGXL
We All Do It... Doesn't Make It Any Less Gross...
I Mean, COME ON!
"Just hang onto your sh*t for two minutes and put it in a bin instead of just throwing it on the ground."- ElmerWolfeLOdriving eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy
No Matter The Package, Always Bad For You!
"Carrying around a bottle of your own brown cloudy spit that smells like absolute death just skeeves me out on a level I can barely even describe."
"Bonus points if you're the douche who leaves the spit bottles or cups for other people to clean up."- Porn_is_my_bae
We all have our limits.
But even if you aren't wholeheartedly repulsed by any or all of these things, that still doesn't mean you should tolerate it!
How else will people learn to stop?
It's rare for a day to go by where women don't, quite understandably, complain about the annoying, even misogynistic behavior of men.
Addiction to video games, poor hygiene, too much excitement over a football or basketball game, bad table manners.
The list goes on and on.
But men don't only annoy women with their behavior.
Indeed, plenty of other men get equally annoyed or revolted by certain stereotypically "male" behavior, and wish it would come to an end.
"Men of Reddit, what is something you wish other men would stop doing?"
Taking Others Down To Bring Themselves Up
"Insulting their friends to look cool in front of a girl."- SuvenPan
Always Needing To Be The "Tough Guy"
"I wish y’all would stop trying to be Mr. tough arrogant guy when an attractive women is in your presence."- Relevant-Quality2196·
It's Just Basic Hygeine!
"Not washing hands after using public bathrooms."- truetrusterWash Hands Reaction GIF by Leroy PattersonGiphy
Women Are Not Property!
"Stop hitting on other dudes' girlfriend."
"Some guys take it as a challenge and it’s pretty f*cked up."- Blowmansalad·
"Being overly horny and hitting on women non stop who clearly are uncomfortable."
"It’s hard to watch."- cgollin34
Learn Some Manners!
"That thing where a girl turns you down so you suddenly call her an ugly b*tch."
"It’s really not hard to NOT be a rude piece of sh*t, and it makes you sound pathetic."
"Have some respect and imagine your grandmother could hear you."- leastlyharmfulSeason 3 Episode 13 GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy
What Are You Trying To Prove, Exactly?
"Acting overly manly and not smiling, like chill man I’m not trying to pee on your territory."- incognitoburrito2022
"Stop approaching women in grocery store parking lots! "
"My girlfriend mentions that guys, often way older guys, will try to talk to her and ask her out while she’s carrying groceries."
"She’s had to stop wearing headphones because guys will follow her trying to get her attention."
"The worst was a guy who knocked on her window when she was sitting in her car."
"Nobody taught me, a normal dude, how not to be creepy."
"Where the hell did you guys learn to do this?"- UptownShenanigans
Not Fooling Anyone
"Joining MLMs and being really vague about what they do."
"I don’t want an exclusive chance to gain you as a mentor, I sat next to you in pre-algebra and know that the concept of math escapes you."
"Also stop renting luxury vehicles for a weekend and pretending you 'made it'."
"Maybe I’m just a hater but if your whole plan is to not just fake it till you make it but to 'flex' till you make it then I’m not interested in whatever opportunity you’re trying to sell me."- Exact_Thought_185
Its Sexual Assault. STOP IT!
"The unwarranted peen pics need to stop."- Ratakoa
When other "bros" are so openly put off by "bro" culture, maybe that means it's time has passed?
But seriously, did anyone find "bro" culture attractive?
After all, were we laughing with the boys of the American Pie films, or laughing at them...
Successful people who come from humble beginnings usually don't forget where they came from.
But some of those who were already born into privilege and wealth may claim to be compassionate towards people who are financially disadvantaged.
But unless they've lived the experience as someone from the lower class or have a deep understanding of what life is like on the other side, the wealthy will never understand what it's like to be poor.
Curious to hear about interactinos with the affluent from strangers online, Redditor Salazard260 asked:
"Poor people of reddit, what's the most comically out of touch 'advice' you've been given by someone wealthier?"
When it comes to working normal jobs, rich people just don't understand.
Easier Said Than Done
"A mom to my mom, a single mother with three kids: 'you should just stop working if you are so stressed about it.'"
"Sounds like a psychologist I went and saw once, spent the hour talking about how much pressure I felt being the sole source of income in the house, to be told 'sounds like your job is stressing you out, you should quit!' When I asked how I’d pay the bills his response was 'I can help you apply for a new job, I’m really good at job applications, I’ve got every job I applied for! - yeah mate I don’t think that’s going to help. Never went back."
"Not really advice, but one of my high school friends came from a rich family. But because he wasn't really that motivated in life, his parents encouraged him to find a summer job."
"He was going to go job-hunting at the mall, working in retail. I asked him how much he wanted to earn. He said, 'Not too much. $40 per hour should be a good start.' This was in the early 2000s."
"It reminds me of the Arrested Development scene where Lucille thinks a banana costs $10."
When it comes to renting an apartment, these are not the people who should be weighing in with their thoughts to help.
Clueless About Rent
"I had a boss at the time tell me it cant be more than 800 bucks for rent in the DC area when I asked for a pay raise. The minimum rent I could find at the time was closer to 1800."
Let's Start With Step 1
"That I need to buy several apartments and rent them out. Unfortunately, he did not tell me where to get money to buy several apartments."
When it comes to family and financials, we're all not the same.
That's Not How That Works
"I remember when I was at high school and I mentioned to someone that I'd like a gaming PC but couldn't afford it, he said 'can you not just ask your parents for the money?'"
"I said no because there was nothing left over after bills and groceries."
"Yeah, but if you ask realllllyyyyy nicely, couldn't they give you the money?"
"Like what goddamn money? The money for the food we eat? The money for our electricity bill? Sure, no doubt my family are happy to suffer just so I can have a piece of tech I don't need."
Ignorance Is Bliss
"I had a friend like that and one time pulled out a pen and paper and did my family's financials roughly in front of them. I showed income, taxes, utilities, insurance, groceries, gas, car payments, loan payments, etc and then showed how little was left over and then said that some of that needs to go into savings/retirement just in case. I then asked them 'so where is that money I ask my parents for coming from?'"
"He sat there dumbfounded for a bit, I think one: that I knew all this off the top of my head (the recession made me hyper aware of financials) and two: it started sink in how ignorant he was about money in general, and how good he had it. He wasn't a bad dude, and wasn't one of those who thinks money was infinite, but I guess didn't realize how much 100 bucks was to a lot of people."
The Other Way Around
"'Just have your parents give you the money'.... B*tch, I support my parents."
Going Nowhere Fast
"I had a buddy in college that asked me to drive him to the next town over. He had a car but his parents said he was spending to much in the gas card. His solution was to bum a ride but told me it wasn’t fair for him to pay me for gas out of his allowance because I had a job."
"I’m still stunned by the mental gymnastics that dude went through to justify his behavior."
"After dumping me my long-tine girlfriend would occasionally reach out with her crazy rants."
"One of them was I should just dump my parents somewhere, as in literally dropping them off on some corner, and let them fend for themselves."
"I dodged a rocket not marrying her."
The rich could afford many luxuries that are unattainable for the rest of us, and good for them.
But when it comes to offering any kind of wisdom or suggestion to improve our financial standing in life, money can't buy them respect when they are completely out of touch.
There's a fairly common formula in movies geared toward a teenage audience.
A group of teenagers face one central conflict, to varying degrees of importance and severity, but manage to solve it in a surprisingly short manner of time.
The heroes of these films are usually a hodgepodge of traditional high school archetypes (star athlete, math nerd, girl whose beauty is disguised by a pair of glasses), all of whom the intended audience can completely relate to and root for.
And then we have the adult characters, who are often buffoonish stereotypes, or the outright villain, whose sole mission is to ensure the protagonist will not achieve their ultimate goal.
As teenagers, we often find ourselves ready to boo these grown-ups from the minute they appear on the screen.
But when we revisit these movies as adults, we find ourselves noticing that their behavior isn't quite as bad as we remembered.
Or, more shockingly, we actually find ourselves rooting for them!
"What teen movie is the epitome of 'the older I get, the more I agree with the adult?'"
The Teacher Was Right All Along...
"Rewatching 'Scrubs', I realize I’m no longer a JD., I’ve become a Cox."- RenegadeRinker
They Were Just Being Protective!
"I watched 'Sixteen Candles' recently and I now do not approve of Samantha going anywhere near Jake Ryan."-goblininstigator
All It Takes Is A Little Perspective
"Sadly, 'The Wonder Years'."
"I always couldn’t believe the dad was real, with his pissed off attitude from work."
"Now I understand."- hashnThe Wonder Years Thumbs Down GIFGiphy
Nothing Wrong With A Little Precision And Order!
"The movie 'Juno'."
"Jennifer Garner's character is at first portrayed as a 'square', then you realize she's a mature adult and her husband is a man-baby."- DaveFarted
Add It Up, The Wedding Cost Nearly $150,00!
"Not a teen movie, but 'Father of the Bride'."
"Watching it as a kid, Steve Martin seemed like an old grump."
"Rewatching it as an adult, holy sh*t he is the only sane person in that movie."- DrOctopusMD
It Was Literally His Job To Protect Them!
"'The Lion King'."
"Oh I thought Zazu was just an old fun-killer."
"What do you mean, Simba can't be king?"
"Why would you prevent the kids from going where they want?"
"As an adult and father, I'm 100% Team Zazu."- Oneiric86the lion king GIF by DisneyGiphy
Seriously, Would Your Dad Have Been So Cool About It?...
"As a new father, I hope to be like Jim’s dad when my little one is a teenager."
"Caring, loving and a complete embarrassment to them."- BanjoPhatterson
It's A Parent's Job To Worry.
"The mom in 'Ice Princess'."
"So you have a daughter who has a talent for and seems to like physics and has a shot of getting into Harvard."
"This girl throws it away for ice skating where she has only been competing for less than a year, where if she gets injured she's done and when she reaches 30 she's pretty much done."
"There is no way she is at an olympic level at that point she would need years of training! "
"Hell yes I would advise against it to!"- testmonkey254
Always Be Respectful Of Your Roommate!
"Goob, 'Meet the Robinsons'."- beepboop232Meet The Robinsons Google GIFGiphy
People Are Complicated
"He’s just trying to do something right and being a good dad."- LukeLJS123
As teens we're inclined to revolt from our parents and teachers, or even be revolted by them.
But the older we get, the more we understand that nine times out of ten, they were just looking out for us.
Just as we realize that Mr. Hall of Clueless was being pretty generous giving a C to a student who didn't seem to know how to pronounce "Haitian"...