People Who've Run Away To Start A New Life Reveal Why They Had To Leave
Move over bankruptcy and name changes. These people made themselves vanish in order to start over. But why, and how? Were they successful? Here are some fascinating tales from people who left it all to begin anew.
PatientStick asked, [Serious] People who disappeared to start a new life, what is your story?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Working on a yacht in Tahiti? Living the dream, he is.
Currently disappearing. Got bored in the USA so I looked around for jobs on boats/yachts. I went from alcoholic construction worker to currently a deckhand on a private yacht circumnavigating the globe.
We're currently on our way to Tahiti and I'm excited.
Bail out now, tell everyone later. It's okay to focus on you.
I didn't really disappear, I just flew from the UK to Canada and didn't tell anyone until after.
I wanted a bit of time to make my mind up about what I was doing without any random emotional s*** getting in the way. My friends assumed I'd just f***ed off somewhere as it wasn't that uncommon for me to do.
Told most people where I was after about a month and 6 years later I'm still here.
Some bridges need to be burned.
Father started dating a new woman and suddenly became a massive POS. Emotional and verbal abuse, gaslighting, guilting me out of money by saying he couldn't make bills but then turning around and buying alcohol and new gadgets.. the works. I was stomaching it pretty well until it started to spread to my then 1.5-year-old son. There was one and only one incident of him going after my baby, and the very next day I was loading up a moving truck headed several states away. Thankfully I had made a good friend via an online game who opened up his home to us if we needed to escape.
Changed my number and haven't heard from my father or his gf since, though I was warned by the town sheriff that a man had been calling the police station asking about a girl from out of state that has recently moved into town, he saw my license plate and made the connection. I'll burn that bridge when I get to it.
It takes a lot of strength to do this. You don't need to stay in toxic relationships.
Here's the story. Was with someone who was emotionally abusive toward me. I let them isolate me from friends and family, moved across the country, gave up a lot to be with her. Married her, but I realized that things would likely never improve. One day I packed everything I could into a suitcase, told her it was over. I walked to the train station, got to the airport, called the police to let them know they had a potentiality suicidal person that they ought to check on and flew back home. I felt bad about it, but I'm an exponentially happier and healthier person for it.
Follow your instincts if they tell you to change your circumstances. It's not easy, but you don't get many chances happiness. Take them.
Basic breakup story I guess. I was in my early 20's and I'd been in a pretty lousy relationship for a few years (only really lousy the last 1.5 years). I'd done a lot to try and make the relationship work and it meant I was basically living paycheck to paycheck, working a lot of overtime at a bar.
Then in the space of a few months both my aunt died of cancer that was kind of expected and a family friend died suddenly, so I got in a worse place mentally and didn't have much left to put into the relationship. I was still working a lot of hours to pay our rent, but when I got home I was pretty depressed. My girlfriend was probably already pretty checked out I guess because she cheated pretty soon with a guy in our friendship group, and of course, that ended our relationship pretty suddenly. I moved in with 2 friends and she moved back to her parents.
I felt like I needed a change of scene so just started applying for jobs with loads of holiday companies and got an interview with a ferry company. By the time that came up, I was starting to move on with my life and wasn't so sure about leaving. Then I found out my ex had slept with or hit on pretty much all of my mates since we'd broken up and I decided to get out of dodge.
I never actually meant to leave and not come back or go dark or whatever. I just took the job, spent a summer working on ferries to clear my head with new people, out of all that craziness and went from there. Spent a couple of years working holiday seasons and traveling and then settled into a job and a routine elsewhere. Never looked back.
Changing your name is extreme, but it can provide closure, protection, and a fresh start.
Highly abusive family, grew up surprisingly well but absolutely bombed out of life when I turned 18. Finally got the guts up and saved a scant of money to change my name and get out of the state I lived in. Still struggling a lot, and I live in constant fear that someone will find me, but I can live a half decent life now. Still lots of psychological issues as a result of long-term traumas, but I'm on my own now and its the biggest relief
EDIT Thank you all for your support! Changing my name wasn't too tricky, I had to go in for a meeting with a Justice of Peace, and there was a fair fee (I didn't have a birth certificate because my family refused to hand it over). I was given an identity document that day and was posted my new birth certificate a week later.
This is pretty dramatic, actually.
Nothing dramatic. I left home at 16 homeless for a few months, lived with a Gf's family for a couple of years. Mum told the family that I'd stolen money so they cut all ties with me (I hadn't, my mums an arse). I stopped contacting friends because I was dirt poor and couldn't afford a phone.
Three years after I left I started using my first name (in Muslim culture every guy is bloody named Mohamed so we used my middle name for my early life). I moved to a new town newly single, got my dream job and made new friends, got in touch with the old ones and got on with my new life.
Unfortunately homophobia is still rampant in rural America.
I grew up in a tiny semi-isolated American town I'm going to refer to as Hell. I hated the place. I was bullied from the minute we moved there until the minute I left. I was above the level of the high school classes by my freshman year, but -- isolated. No other school. I've got no issue with my parents, but the majority of my extended family is extremely homophobic and would probably disown me if they didn't depend on my dad for money. I was basically just trying to hold it together until I graduated.
When I was 15, I applied to be a foreign exchange student (basically just out of desperation to get out of Hell). Left a few days after I turned 16. I was popular in my new school, I was much less of an angry person when I wasn't getting screamed at all day five days a week, it was just so much better. I was doing college applications by the end of my year there and just realized there was no way I could ever go back. I ended up going to the UK to study law. I was still getting harassed online by people from Hell, so I started going by my middle name. I'm doing alright now though.
I guess I didn't truly "disappear" because some people know where I am, but I'd basically started over twice in two different countries by the time I turned 18. I have trouble with the idea of staying in one place and my mom has to talk me out of moving every time things don't go perfectly smoothly, but I'm sure I'm a lot better of a person than I would have been if I'd stayed.
This is why we celebrate Mother's Day.
When my sister and I were young, my mom was engaged to an abusive man. One morning she dropped us off at school and said this would be our last day, make sure you say goodbye to your friends.
When she picked us up from school, we went directly to the airport and flew to California to live with some family. At the time we'd been living in Michigan.
Racism is a plague and needs to be stopped.
At 17 I had started to date my now current boyfriend of almost 6 years. It was the end of his senior year / my junior year.
-backstory- My mother is 28 years younger than my father and she left him when I was in 7th grade. My father somehow got custody. Story for another time I suppose.
Father is old, born in 1943 old. So he's also a racist. After mom split I went to school and then came home and did nothing. No summer plans, no friends, no after-school activities.
Somehow a friend of S.O. Had posted a picture of us together on Fb and my little brother got wind of it and my dad kicked me out about 2 months before I turned 18 because my boyfriend is black and I am white. I showed the school messages of him threatening to kill me and bf if he ever saw either of us. Cops got involved and deemed that I had to return to my father's house until I was 18. I obviously didn't die, made it through the last three weeks of school, attended my graduation that he wouldn't show up to and never went back. Haven't seen or heard from him or anyone from high school since. There are many more complicated details but that's the gist.
I now hold a stable job since I graduated high school, waited a year and saved up at bfs parents house, then we got our own apartment, our own car, we live frugally and save as much as we can and live comfortably below our means. We both went back to college two years ago and attend part-time because we both work 32 hours a week and I like to think that my f_cked up 'childhood' is pretty far behind me and that I'm adulting really well despite my odds.
It's not selfish to leave if your partner is beyond reproach. It is however important to help as much as they'll let you.
I left someone who regularly threatened suicide, best decision I ever made.
Addiction is a nasty disease, and in Mexico, the cartels are ruthless.
15 years ago I was a heavy drug user. I was 25 back then and before using drugs I had a good job and I was being paid well. My so-called best friend introduced me to drugs and while at first, I was hesitant to use them, I thought 'what the hell, what's the worst that can happen?'
Needless to say, I started using more and more and I was spending a few thousand every week on drugs. I started showing less for work until eventually I was fired. I had some money saved up so I wasn't too worried at first until my addiction took most of that money.
Since I always used the same dealer and had already given him thousand of pesos, he told me I had 'good credit' with him and he would give me some drugs but I had to pay him every week. So we did that and it worked for a while until I couldn't pay him every week. I started owing him more and more until eventually, he told me he couldn't give me anymore until I had money on me and could pay him. So one day I was really desperate and broke into his house late at night. I knew he had guns so I was very careful not to wake him up when I was breaking in. Once inside I grabbed a baseball bat he had and started beating him with it. I left him in pretty bad shape and took his money and some drugs I found. At the time I didn't know he was with a cartel so I pretty much stole from the cartel. They started looking for me and word on the street was that they wanted to kill me. So with the money I stole from the dealer I decided the best thing to do was to run away to the U.S. I didn't tell anybody, I decided to travel to the Tijuana and find a 'coyote' there who could pass me. 7 days later I was already in the US.
I left everything back home, my family, friends, memories but most important my addiction. When I made the choice to leave the country I told myself I wasn't gonna do drugs again since my life got out control since I started using drugs.
So yeah, it's been 15 years clean. I have an ok job and a great family here. I'm probably a wanted man by the cartel back in Mexico.
The only person who has control over your life is YOU.
Left my hometown of 10 years because I was ruining my life spending all my money on smoking and being a general loser.
I drove alone 3500+km to start new with no job, house, or money. I landed a job working in a remote community the day after I arrived at my destination, spent 3 months working there before I came back to society and started working in Disability.
Fast forward 5 years and I'm happily married with enough money for a deposit on a house, a new car I go to the gym 6 days a week and have traveled overseas multiple times with the love of my life.
Canadians are so classy, jeez.
I didn't "disappear" in terms of changing my identity or am doing anything secret. But I did disappear from everyone I knew from "back home" fairly suddenly.
I grew up in a medium-sized town in Canada. A fairly laid back city with a good university culture but not much to do in terms of anything else. I got sick of the cold winters, sick of the lack of culture, sick of the social negativity, sick of the lack of opportunity (Youth under/unemployment is a serious thing in Canada), etc.
Decided to move to Paris. Enrolled in a prestigious business school and got in. Within a month I said goodbye to friends, packed up my stuff and got the hell out.
I've lived in Paris, Milan, and parts of UK for the past 5 years and loving it. I'm making great money and because the £&€ is so high compared to the tanking Canadian dollar I can make investments back in Canada fairly easily.
My life is completely different compared to my life in Canada. I can travel to cool European cities very cheaply, enjoy interesting conversation with people from around the world, enjoy mild Winters, and a positive social environment where people root for each other.
One of the things I didn't like about living in Canada is that it was normal for people to try and tear each other down and talk behind people's back. I don't experience that here.
Edit: I'm still very proud to be from Canada and enjoy visiting family and friends. I wouldn't change my journey thus far for anything. But the Winters and lifestyle just weren't for me. Canada is still a great place. I don't mean to come across as trashing the country
This sounds amazing, honestly. Why be tied down in one place?
Haven't disappeared, but I tend to start a new life every few years.
I get bored where I am and want something new and different. New places, new experiences, new people, new things to learn.
I look for a new job, pack up, and move wherever it is, or someplace just to a new place without the job yet, but I prefer having the job lined up first. Sometimes overseas, sometimes within the same country. Preferably overseas whenever the opportunity arises.
Grew up moving ridiculously frequently and seeing a lot of different places. That's stuck with me.
Given that I can work anywhere, maybe I should do this. Who's in?
I was working a successful corporate job straight out of college for several years, and not exactly struggling but not thriving either. A series of bizarre events occurred in my personal life (and within the government...) that made me realize life is too short, too random and all too often dictated by people who don't have your best interest at heart to be stuck doing something that doesn't make you happy if it's not absolutely critical to your survival.
After mulling it over for a bit, I told friends and family I was moving overseas, quit my job, tied up loose ends and got on a plane to another country with no job and a backpack full of clothing. However, I had decent savings and am accustomed to living cheaply so I wasn't entirely unprepared.
So far I've traveled to numerous countries with old friends and relative strangers met people doing things no one was doing back home, gone on beautiful hikes through mountains, swam under waterfalls, snorkeled off multiple coasts, and so many more adventures. I live in a city where I don't need a car, I've been progressing on learning a new language, I finally figured out the direction I want to go in life and am taking active steps to get there, and I feel like I've matured at least five years in the past twelve months.
There are certainly trade-offs: instability, options for job positions, and what the foreseeable future looks like, but if I had the option to redo the last year of my life, I would make the choice to leave every time.
Remember that family isn't defined by blood, and no family is better than a toxic family. Set yourself free.
My parents divorced when I was 16. It was both of their second marriage after like 18 years or something. My mother (adoptive, nonetheless) became abusive as soon as my dad left the state. So I disappeared. I went to Atlanta, Georgia by myself. I took a taxi to New York City and took a cheap $40 Chinese bus ride down to Beaufort Highway and almost immediately found a job in tech repair. Was down there for 24 months before I moved to the same state as my dad. During those 2 years, I didn't talk with anybody in my whole family. People were concerned. I didn't care. My brother went into the Navy when I was like 12 and became a juiced up meathead douche. My sister was always controlling and verbally abusive. I can't say I'd be sad if they were gone. I filed a restraining order against my mother after she kept harassing me over text, call, and email. Best decision I ever made.
There are some questions that illustrate such vulnerability, such open tragedy on the part of the asker that we fend off tears while we come up with an appropriate answer.
Sometimes the question comes from someone who's been so steeped in struggle that they need help understanding that another possible reality exists.
Sometimes it's a question that cuts right to our own core with startling efficiency.
Whatever form it takes, it stops us in our tracks and we're likely to remember it for quite awhile after.
Curious to hear the saddest examples, Redditor julylovestory asked:
"What question has someone asked you that secretly broke your heart?"
Many Redditors responded by sharing the sad questions uttered by young children.
Kids just have the knack for cutting straight through to the essence of it all.
A Tragic Conscientiousness
"As we passed the toy aisle at the store, 'I know you don't have much money right now, but maybe when you get some we could come back and get a toy?' "
"I was not doing well financially back then and my daughter brought me to tears in the middle of the store."
Puzzled and Sad
"First day of preschool for my three year old son. The first time he would ever be away from Mom & Dad at the same time."
"I brought him to the room and expected a meltdown, but instead he confidently strutted, and I do mean strutted into the classroom."
"Three hours later, I picked him up. He was ok until we got to the car when he said, in quiet sad voice 'l thought you were coming with,' followed by an even sadder quieter 'Why did you leave me?' "
" 'Can I wish for my sister?' - A 10-year-old student of mine whose big sister died 4 years ago. We were working on an activity about dreams and aspirations for their futures."
How Bad Must It Be?
"I was like 22 and it was probably 10pm or so at a Walmart. I was on my way to a party and stopped for beer. The store was fairly empty and as I was in the beer aisle, I see this kid completely by himself."
"He was about 5 and at first I thought it was kind of funny because he was trying to pick up a case of beer. I waited like 30-60 seconds, looking around for this kid's mom/dad to come get him. A couple people walked right by him like it was normal, so then I started getting worried. I picked up my two cases of beer and walked over and kindly asked him if he lost his mom or needed help."
"The kid completely ignored the question and instead was thoroughly impressed that I was strong enough to carry two cases of beer. Eventually an employee noticed and came over as well. I told her everything I knew and she took over and told him that she was going to bring him to find his mom."
"As he was walking away he kept looking back at me and I smiled and said goodbye. The kid stopped and said 'can I just come home with you? I don't like my mom.' "
"I was caught off guard so I just laughed and told him the lady was going to help him. Now I'll never know the full story, or what happened to him but the more I think about it - that kid more than likely had a pretty shi**y childhood."
"I mean, the store wasn't busy and it was late at night on a weekday. It really makes you wonder why he was there in the first place, how he got separated from his mom and why would he ask to go with a complete stranger instead of worrying about where his mom was?"
"It still makes me sad. Hope everything worked out for the little dude."
Others talked about the times when they or somebody else realized just how tragic their own circumstances were.
"My ex asked me what I liked to do with my family growing up."
"Made me realize my family never did anything together and I literally had no answer to such a basic question."
Seeing Another Version
"During college, parents took a friend and I out to dinner. Very normal dinner, chit chatted about whatever. After we left and were walking back to my car, he turns to me and says 'Is that what a normal relationship is like?' "
"We talked more after that, I had met his parents a few times and they seemed strict but never seemed to have a terrible relationship. Turned out apparently his dad had cheated on his mom multiple times, dad had zero respect for any of my friends sisters and essentially expected them to do all the housework while the men did 'guy stuff.' "
"Hunting, training for sports, school, etc. Turned out his childhood was pretty fu**ed, dad was never around and he had to essentially be the father figure in the house. As the oldest child, never really saw a normal loving relationship that he could look up to."
"My friend is a really nice guy, still has some messed up views of relationships though. I never realized how 'abnormal' my very normal family/childhood was."
A Better Place
" 'You've never beaten me or told me I couldn't do something. Is that normal?'
"My first girlfriend told me that. I have never felt such a wave of anger, sadness, and heartbreak wash over me like I did when I heard that"
And some people discussed the time a question destroyed their social confidence.
Worst Teacher Ever
"I have a stutter, when I was a kid I had to read a page of a book to the class. I stuttered, and the teacher said 'can you even read' and that fu**ing broke my 13 year old heart."
"No one takes stuttering seriously."
There's the Answer
"When I was 19, I hung out with a cute girl from my high school that I never got to hang with when we were in school. Had a great day together, and that night she asked, 'can we be like secret friends or something? I don't really hang out with people like you.' "
"Never hung out again."
Comparing and Contrasting
" 'Oh, are you the girl with the hot sister ?' " -- JustehOK
"I worked in a department with two Melissas. One day, I was sitting next to one Melissa when we overheard another coworker say to someone, 'have you seen little Melissa?' "
"The other Melissa got kind of a defeated look in her eye and said, 'oh, I'm big Melissa.' " -- EarhornJones
It's a list that's sad enough to leave one wondering about the questions they've received that struck them as particularly hopeless.
Sometimes, though, that vulnerability can be the start of accepting new realities and new possibilities.
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If you live on this earth and you're fortunate enough to form long-lasting relationships with different people, chances are you'll know the pain of heartbreak. It's an unavoidable fact of life.
We are not guaranteed to stay with one person forever, as we were reminded once Redditor disturbance of mirrors asked the online community,
"People whose long-term relationship faded, what was the final straw that made you realize it was time to call it a day?"
"The last time..."
"When she 'broke up' with me for the 12th time.
We had a long-distance relationship and whenever we had an issue or a disagreement, instead of engaging in a conversation with me about it, she would say we were done and shut me out for two or three days before coming back and manipulating me into groveling for her forgiveness. The last time, I just said no to going back and stuck to it. She freaked out and tried to drive 6 hours to my place at 2:00 a.m... I got a call from her mom saying she had left in the middle of the night as a head's up and, upon finally getting ahold of her when she was just a couple of hours away, I was able to convince her to turn back.
That relationship f***** me up for a while but, once I began dating my now fiancee, it was unbelievable to me how wonderful a real, loving relationship with healthy communication can be."
"Her brother was living with us..."
"Mine was not a slow burn like most seem to be, but a very definitive moment.
Her brother was living with us and this was right when WiFi was becoming available to the general public. We couldn't afford it cuz we were broke kids, so her brother would take my GF's MacBook (it was a gift) and sit on a nearby bus bench and leech off someone's unsecured WiFi.
Well, one day we get a call from her sister and she says we need to get home immediately. Turns out some guys came up and asked him for change for a $20 and when he told them he didn't have it they tried to snatch the Mac and jump in their car.
He knew it wasn't his so he held onto it and tried to get it back but they were too much. He had gotten dragged by the car, kicked in the head, and then had his leg run over. He was in pretty bad shape.
As we turn the corner (didn't know what had happened yet) GF sees cop cars and an ambulance and says "This better not have anything to do with my Mac. We walk in and he's visibly in bad shape and she is just immediately "Did you lose my Mac?" I'll never forget his face. He was so ashamed and felt terrible and just started crying. She however started screaming my computer! My computer! And hitting him. To the point where the cops considered arresting her. It was an instant eye-opener."
"I'd sit in my car..."
"I'd sit in my car after work playing on my phone for like an hour because I just needed a break before going inside and dealing with him."
That would do it.
"I would find any excuse..."
"I would find any excuse to work late or sometimes go sit at a bar by myself just to avoid the misery at home. We divorced."
"He was a workaholic..."
"He was a workaholic to the point that I saw him about 6 days per month."
"Somewhere between giving up on small talk and not looking forward to the weekends anymore."
That's no way to live.
"It really forced us..."
"Honestly it was the pandemic. It really forced us to actually spend time together and I realized we kind of just didn't do much together at all. I had spent years thinking it was cool that we kept our own friends and space but once those distractions were taken away it was just really clear to me that we were more roommates than a couple."
"When I realized..."
"When I realized I was needed and not wanted. Constantly trying to make someone happy who didn't want to be happy."
This one hurts. I've been there myself. (And I have also been that person––I thankfully got help.)
"We lived together..."
"We lived together but lived completely separate lives. Basically a housemate I shared a bed with. Happened twice to me so far."
"I would have moved mountains for him..."
"I knew it was over when I cared more about his wellbeing than he cared about his own wellbeing. I would have moved mountains for him if it made his life easier and he just continuously put himself in shi!ty situations. I eventually just gave up. I can't be with someone who doesn't care about themselves. Thank God that's over."
If you think you might be stuck in a pointless or unhealthy relationship, it's worth evaluating your options. And it's never worth sticking around and risking your emotional and mental health.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below.
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There is always that "one." There is always going to be that person.
That person who you will always remember. And when they are the one who you regret losing most... they are the ghost that will haunt you forever.
I have a few escapees. I'll never know how it would've turned out. But that is part of why I'm haunted. I need to discuss....
Redditor u/AssistantNo1733 wanted to discuss all the times we've lost in love by asking:
Who's the one who got away?
Do we even have a clue that they're the "one" that got away? How long until it sinks in? And how do we not know there isn't another "one" coming behind them? I have no answers. Just asking...
The DraftEpisode 1 Omg GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy
"The girl who summoned up the nerve to ask me out towards the beginning of high school. I was so humiliated by the life my family was living that I stalled until she gave up."
"Betsy, if by some stroke of dumb luck you're reading this... I'm so sorry. It was 25-27 years ago, but I still hate myself for that. You were beautiful, intelligent, a good person, and if I had anything resembling a stable, presentable home I would've said yes in a heartbeat... I had a crush on you since 7th-grade 'intro to drafting.'
I Love Her
"Weird, I was just confiding in my mom about this last night. I'm late but for catharsis's sake I'm going to post. My first girlfriend is a classic case of you don't know what you have until it's gone. She's the complete package. Beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, and so kind. We started dating when I was 17 and broke up when I was 21."
"For reference I'm 30 now. I was an idiot. I wanted to play the field. I wanted to party and hook up with college girls. It was fun at first but after a while I felt this gnawing hole in my heart. The feeling of doubt crept up slowly and still, a decade later my chest feels tight thinking about it."
"I didn't realize until my later serious relationships that getting along with your SO's family is so important. Her mom and step dad genuinely treated me like a part of their family. It's not a stretch to say I literally grew up with these people. I spent some of my most formative years with them. Birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmases, you name it. They celebrated me and my accomplishments. They genuinely cared about me. Just amazing, salt of the earth, lovely people."
"Her birthday was in March and I sent her a text and we ended up talking for a bit. She's happily married and stable with a daughter and a second on the way. I'm genuinely so happy for her. She deserves happiness. I just wish I was a part of that. Sitting at work 10 years later I'm tearing up. I numbed myself out to it for years, it's so strange to me that I've been so stuck on her lately. Is this normal?"
15 Years Later
"My very first real love. I was a teenager and I didn't really know how to be comfortable in myself or with myself. I played silly teen girl games and lost him even as a friend. Now 15 years later I still think about R from time to time. I genuinely hope he's happy in his life."
"Edit: Wow this blew up while I was sleeping. Thanks for all the sweet words and to everyone with their "one" congratulations! I suppose I hadn't looked him up on social media because I'm scared, scared he won't respond, scared he will respond, scared he'll think I'm a stalker. I'm in a happy relationship now, but what if... Etc etc etc. But I'll give it a Google."
Missed You Muchrhythm nation dance GIF by Janet JacksonGiphy
A girl I dated in high school. Went on a date one time she took me out parking and I was too stupid to realize it.
"She always talked about moving away as soon as she got finished with high school. I always thought I would stay in a little town the rest of my life. Turns out I was the one who left and move to another state. Later I heard that she had told someone that I knew that she thought that we would be married at some point. Missed it by that much."
Ok... I've been a bit blind to the light. People can be cruel, but also highly creative. Why not just lead with the truth? It'll always hurt more after lies.
Chuck E.Chuck E Cheese Wink GIFGiphy
"Ah the rare AskReddit question I can answer."
"I met a wonderful woman circa 2013-2015. We worked at what I can best describe as an upscaled Chuck E Cheese. Or ghetto Six Flags. Your choice."
"We hit it off instantly, though at the time I was rather romantically inept. Eventually, she says she's leaving to join the Air Force. I tell her I'll miss her, and wished her well. The thought of asking for her number so we could stay in contact didn't even cross my mind."
"Cue the next day, I stop for lunch on my way to work, and as I'm walking to my car I hear my name being called. I turn around, and it's her, running toward me. Universe giving me a second chance, right? Wrong. My dumb butt still didn't ask for her number. She looked a little upset, and I still think about her often. Desiree, I hope you're doing well."
"He was my first and last love. I was 16 and he was 18 when we met. We bounced around like idiots, on again off again, finally got together mid 20s. We both fell into bad habits - drugs and alcohol, more booze for me, more drugs for him. We had some bad things happen that were pretty detrimental to staying sober. We would split, reconcile, get sober, fall off the wagon, split, etc... repeat as necessary. We realized we were very bad for each other unless we could BOTH just get sober for ourselves, and split."
"Ten years later, I was sober for 7 years (still am, going on 18 years end of this month, actually! Woo, go me!) and he was beginning to come back, sober about a year. He contacted me, we met, talked about trying again. He said that once he had been totally clean for a year, we'd do it. That whole "Don't make any changes for a year" thing. I would visit him, tho, things were good."
"He woke up one morning feeling bad, thought he had the flu. (This was pre-now) I stayed around because he was sick, but neither of us thought he was drastically bad, just the flu, right? He got worse and worse, finally we called an ambulance because he got up from a nap and couldn't breathe. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Aortic dissection."
"He got away, but someday I'll see him again. I never stopped loving him, and him me. We just weren't good for each other."
Ce la vie...
"My most serious Ex."
"Don't think I truly understood love until I met her. Loved her more than I ever thought I could love anything. It eventually ended when she told me that, through no fault of my own, she had fallen out of love with me. That was 2 years ago, still hurts to think/talk about."
"Ce la vie..."
"I'm in the middle of trying to avoid that right now actually."
"It's not worth the heartache trust me. I fought to stay in a relationship for an entire year. If I would've just let her go the first time she wanted there would've been a lot less pain. We would've left on good terms. I would've lost a lot less sleep. Rip the band-aid off because once the band-aid starts peeling it's inevitable it'll fall off with time."
Sweet...Kim Tate Eye Roll GIF by EmmerdaleGiphy
Damn man why bring this up.
"My ex and I broke up over 3 years ago. Mutual breakup through a lack of communication on both ends I feel."
"Thought I was over that hill until this week she messaged just to say hey and ask an innocent question. We text for the best part of the day and it's brought up a lot of old feeling. Feeling pretty bitter sweet right now."
Love is a mess. Why even bother trying if you can't be true? It's not hard to just spell out the situation. And if you're the one needing to put together the words... look closer. The dialogue shouldn't be difficult.
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What are the odds you'd click on this link today?
What was the biggest coincidence that made you question the fabric of reality?
There's small coincidences, occurrences so minute that you wouldn't even notice them if you weren't paying attention. However, once someone makes a big deal out of them then there's no other choice but to acknowledge that what just happened was spectacular.
Each Having A Buddy Coming To Town
"My friend and I were on a road trip a few years ago and needed a place to stay. We both told each other we had a friend in the city we were going through, so we figured we'd be able to crash with one of them. Turns out our two friends were roommates and had both been telling each other that they had a friend coming to town soon."
What's That Got To Be? A 1 in 1000 Chance?
"Several years ago I was at a coffee shop with some friends and one of them had an ipad, another friend went to unlock it and asked him what his 4 digit unlock code was, so I just blurted out 4 random digits pretending like I knew it, and it actually worked. I had never unlocked it before or knew of the same numbers being used for anything else, or his phone number, etc."
Both Probably Assumed What The Best Time Was
"I passed out after receiving a flu shot when I was 28. The nurse who helped me up kept asking if I wanted my mom. It seemed like a really weird thing to offer an adult woman - the option to have her mother phoned and brought in - so I was really confused and getting progressively more annoyed at her repeatedly asking...
...until my mom walked up to me. She had the appointment after mine to get vaccinated. The nurses assumed we had come together, but neither of us knew about the other's appointment, and we lived an hour away from each other in different cities."
Living in such a big world can lead you to the conclusion that math is silly and odds are never in your favor. With over seven billion people roaming around, chances of meeting someone of significance?
Less than you think.
A Simultaneous Love Of Traveling
"This guy I went to grade school and high school with, an acquaintance at best. I've seen him in 5 different locations in different countries throughout the last 15 years.
Disney World when I was a kid.
Some beach bar in Thailand.
The Bean in Chicago.
A pub in Budapest.
A library in San Jose, Costa Rica.
We've become friends due our love of traveling, but neither of us post on social media and neither of us communicated with each other our plans to travel. We never talked outside of the random meetings. Now if I see him, its like the world wants us to have a beer together. haha"
"I Mean, The Crash, Yeah, But How Have You Been?"
"My dad lives in a national park here in Australia. It's farmland that's grandfathered in. It's the remnants of a volcano that blew itself up very violently, so it's very hilly terrain.
One day we were sitting out on the deck, when we see a hang-glider come down halfway down the valley, and it didn't look like a nice landing. "Sh-t, we better see if he's alright, they don't land anywhere near here"
So we get in the car, drive for about 10 minutes to reach the spot. We head over to the guy who is standing by a very damaged glider. The pilot is staring at us incredulously, he stammers "F-ck, Jack, is that you?".
My dad, who hasn't seen his childhood friend for 35 years shouts "F-ck, Tim, is that you?".
They both grew up in Greymouth, NZ. Found each other randomly after a glider crash in NSW, Australia."
Takes A Wedding To Bring People Together
"My wife and I were looking to hire a caterer for our wedding and when we met, my wife and her started talking about their lives a bit.
Turns out they had both literally grown up on the same street, in a city of 10 million people, on the other side of the world. Both had left the city around a decade before immigrating to our current country.
They knew the same people, had hung out at the same coffee place, attended the same church. They even used to grab mangoes off the same large tree that hung over the wall of one of the large houses in the neighbourhood.
But they had never met one another until meeting on almost the exact opposite side of the planet, in a small town of about 50,000 people."kor_hookmaster
What we can gain from these experiences is a coincidence will occur more than you think, you just have to have the eyes sharp enough to spot them.
But how would you explain these?
Position Is Key
"I dialed my mum on my mobile when I was on public transport and accidentally swapped two numbers around.
The person I called was on the same carriage."
"Go on, tell us what happened then!"
"So I was listening to my phone and at the exact moment it started the ringing sound I heard a phone start ringing and I thought it was a coincidence but then the phone answered and it wasn't mum.
All I said was "Oh, are you on the Upfield train?" and they said "Yes, who's this?" but I got shy and I hung up.
Poor guy must have been so confused."
Universal Echoes Bringing You Closer Together
"One time, me and my dad were discussing his friend while out driving at night without many other cars on the road. As we were talking, we pulled up to a red light, and the car waiting in front was my dad's friend. He didn't even live close to there."
Extremely Unlucky Odds. Go Buy A Lottery Ticket.
"A couple of years ago I was visiting my hometown and decided to sit on a bench at my favorite park. As I was sitting, I felt something land on my head. Bird poop. After heading home and washing my hair, I went back into town. While I walked around, I watched as a guy got hit with a drop of sky sh-t. As I was laughing about the apparent irritable bowel syndrome of the birds in my town, a bird flying right over me drops a fat sh-t on my head."
There's no magic at play. All of these happenstances can be explained away with simple math and rudimentary probability.
Still, it's fun to live when you're in the moment.