You can see the notices on bulletin boards at grocery stores, at the post office or even on milk cartons.
The images depict people, sometimes even children, who have disappeared.
While we often hear the stories of the people left behind, we only hear the stories of the person who disappeared when the results are worthy of a headline or a movie of the week. But what about all those other people who went missing, but did not stay lost?
Reddit user The_Cool_Lamp asked:
Here are the most interesting accounts from people with firsthand experience being among the missing.
When I was a baby my parents had joint custody of me after the divorce. My mother took me for the weekend and just decided to not give me back. She got in her car with me (five months old), her boyfriend, and whatever she could fit in her car and just drove off. I was missing for three weeks before I was located several towns away, half starved to death and severely neglected. My dad got full custody after that.
I was 7-years-old and at a department store with my mom. I was in the toy section while she shopped when a man grabbed my arm and said "There you are Jessie! Time to go" , and started dragging me by my arm to the exit. I started crying and yelling him to let me go but he just kept saying "No toy today Jessie, let's go". Other shoppers must have thought I was just his bratty Kid, not wanting to leave without a toy. Luckily my mom ran up just as we were at the doors and yelled at him to leave me alone. He said something like "oh, I thought this was my daughter, they look so much alike" and strolled out the exit after letting my arm go.
My mom found an employee and the police were called (this was the mid-80's so no cell phones). They never found the guy.
Munchausen By Proxy
My mother used to lose me on purpose as often as she could. I can't tell you the number of times as a tiny toddler she would take me into a grocery store or somewhere and then send me to look at something so she could just rush off like some sick game. She loved it. She loved the attention she got from employees looking for her, "poor lost baby" she loved watching me cry in terror and then shaming me about it for "making a scene" when we left. I freakin hate that woman.
Rough Part of Academia
I missed the last train home. I told my parents exactly where I was, I was with friends, and I was sixteen years old. My phone ran out of battery, but it was fine because my friends were looking after me.
Crazy mother decided to have the police force comb the whole of Oxford searching for me because if I ever had to spend an hour with people she didn't know then obviously I might DIE.
Well, Oxford is a notoriously dangerous place.
Gangs of academics roam the streets, sniffing out Cambridge graduates.
Better make sure your references are formatted correctly.
You joke, but I once heard that someone was rudely shoved in downtown Oxford late one Saturday night.
Oh my god.... did they not cite their sources?
I hated summer daycare, so I hid behind a tree after my dad dropped me off and then walked home. It was only about a 20 minute walk. When they realized I was supposed to be there but had never showed up, they called campus security to report a missing kid. My dad said that I didn't know the way home, so he didn't go to check if I was there. I sat in my bedroom for hours worried about when I'd get busted.
When I was 8, I was at the mall with my mom, aunt and little sister. Me and my little sister needed to go the bathroom so my mom leaves our aunt in the store to take us both to the bathroom. Me being the smart ass little kid that I was claimed I knew where the bathroom was so I decided to run ahead.
I turned through the food court to where I could've sworn the bathroom was but there was nothing but lockers. So I double back and try to find my mom and admit defeat acknowledging that I don't know where the bathroom is. But I couldn't find her. I wandered around the food court looking for her and couldn't find her or my little sister.
So I decided to go back to the store my aunt was in and tell her I got lost, thing is I couldn't remember which store she was in. I entered the store I thought I remembered us leaving (which turns out it was the right store but my aunt was in the change room) couldn't find her and decided to go back up to the food court.
So I'm crying going up the escalator and this man sees me and asks me if I'm ok. I told him I lost my mom and he took me to a store and said they would help me find my mom. They called her over the intercom while the man took me to take the piss I had been holding in for a while. When I finally found my mom she was in tears crying say she called the cops thinking someone had kidnapped me.
Now that I think about it I got very lucky finding such a nice guy to help me.
Neither of my parents were able to come to my softball game so my teenaged sister was in charge of walking 8-year-old me home after the game. At some point she took our younger brother across the street to the playground for a bit. When she finally glanced over at the field, she realized the game was over and no one was there. She took our brother home, hoping I'd slipped past them and walked home. No luck.
After checking with my best friend down the block and sending my older brothers out to double check the route between the field and home, my sister called our mother at work and admitted she'd lost me.
Mom calmly replied, "If she's not at the field she's with your dad."
Good call, Mom. When the game ended and everyone else left, I knew I wasn't supposed to walk home alone, so I crossed the street on the other side of the field and headed to our church where I knew Dad was helping set up for a fundraiser. Dad had me sit out of the way until he finished setting up, took me home about an hour after my game had ended.
My sister was still in a panic when we strolled through the front door.
Every year in elementary school we had a school carnival. Little games for the kids to win prizes, a cakewalk, etc. One year my mom brought me to the carnival but had to leave halfway through. No biggie-- my friend's mom was volunteering there and was going to watch over me and my dad was supposed to come pick me up. Mom leaves, friend and I go off exploring and playing carnival games. A while later my dad came by and I left with him. But I never told friend's mom goodbye, or that my dad was there to get me. I still think she overreacted because she knew my dad was coming to get me, but from her perspective I just disappeared.
Dad and I had a lovely afternoon. We went and got lunch and then bought a kite and then went to the park and flew it. When we got back to the house there were police cars everywhere and my mom was straight-up panicking. Friend's mom had found friend, but not me, and friend claimed she didn't know where I'd gone. Cue frantic searching through the carnival and school grounds, calls to police, searches in the nearby parks and neighborhoods...
Obviously I was fine. Mom was pissed.
I was 9 and back then it was normal for kids that age to roam around the neighborhood. I decided, for some reason, to walk to my sister's house, 3.2 miles away.
My mom realized I'd been gone a while and couldn't find me at my usual haunts, so she called the police and reported me missing. The last time she saw me I had no shirt on so the cops were looking for a little boy with no shirt, probably drove right past me because I had put a shirt on.
My mom was very relieved when my sister called to say "Guess who just showed up?"
All Sly Stallone's Fault
My mom had a Kmart (remember those) locked down because she thought someone kidnapped me.
I was about 10 years old and my mom and I went to a Kmart. I loved going to the electronics section because I could look at all the video games, movies, etc. They also usually had some kind of movie playing on all the TVs they had up on the wall. I could easily spend an hour or more there reading the backs of all the video game boxes (remember when PC games had big boxes), VHS boxes, etc.
My mom and I split up as she wanted to go look at shoes and naturally I preferred to look at video games. The departments were right next to each other so we weren't far from one another.
At the time, the film Judge Dredd had just come out on VHS and they had it playing on their display TVs. I loved those kinds of movies so I decided to just sit back and watch it, leaning up against one of the aisles.
I don't know how long I was there, it had to be at least an hour. Eventually a store employee came by and said, "Excuse me, do you know where your mom is?" and I was like, "Yeah, she's over in the shoe department". I had no idea anything was going on at this point. She looked at me weird and said, "I think you should come with me. She's looking for you." I was like okay, whatever.
This may set off red flags but she had on the Kmart attire and didn't feel threatening.
I followed her to the front of the store and find my mom there bawling her eyes out and she runs up and hugs me. I'm thinking like, what the hell is going on? So turns out my mom finished looking at shoes and came into the electronics department calling my name. But since I was so enthralled with the movie, I didn't hear her. So she figured I must have gone to a different area or maybe went looking for her, etc. But she obviously didn't find me so she started to panic, went to the front desk or whatever, and told them her son was missing.
So they locked the doors and started calling my name over the PA system and sending employees looking for me. But again I didn't hear it because I was too focused on the movie. They had employees look in the electronics department since that was where I told my mom I'd be, but they only looked down the aisles, no one actually went down the aisles and looked to see if there was someone on the other side of the aisle (remember I was leaning up against it, so looking down the aisle it appeared empty). Eventually someone did and that's when the woman found me.
Thanks Judge Dredd.
The Wrong Way To Teach
When I was like 6 I was playing with my friend on the playground at a crowded town event and her mom came over and introduced herself and asked if I wanted to come over their house to play. She said she already talked to my mom who said it was ok. Me and my friend were like, sure cool. Turns out the woman was a psycho and had kidnapped me to teach me a lesson about strangers. She called my panicking mom to come pick me up and she gave my mom a lecture. I thought my mom would be mad at me, but she wasn't. We both went home totally confused. Looking back, that woman should have been arrested.
I Told You So
As a teenager, my folks decreed I did not need a mobile phone.
I was working at a local theme park, got nauseated at work and threw up a few times, so my boss sent me home. By the time I was about halfway home I was feeling a lot better, so I stopped by a local mall, got my ears double-pierced, went to the big library downtown to get some stuff I needed for a report and then went to the gym and worked out for a few hours.
When I got home my parents were freaking out. Turns out they had called my work about 30 min. after I left. Somebody told them, "Oh, she got really sick, she went home." They'd been in solid freakout mode for more than 7 hours, the police were involved, etc.
Guess who got a phone for Christmas?
"Kidnapped" By The CIA
On 9/11 my husband and I were stuck in Italy for 4 days. I immediately called my mom to let her know we were OK & not on one of the planes. I did not call again and apparently that was mistake because she called the freakin' STATE DEPARTMENT 2 days later and told them that the CIA had kidnapped us because my husband is Middle Eastern and a pilot.
We were interviewed by the FBI once we finally got home.
Extremely Not Chill
A friend of mine left me at an apartment with some of her friends so she could go do laundry. I'd hung out with them in passing now and then, so i thought it would be chill.
Oh ho hooo, I was wrong.
I don't know how many of y'all have heard of datura, but it's a serious hallucinogenic herb from the belladonna family. As in, closely related to deadly nightshade. Allegedly, when it's concentrated into a tea, you're supposed to have a 1:1 of water to tea in a shot glass.
I asked for something to drink. At first, they offered a beer. I asked for something hydrating. "Okay, let me get you some tea!" You'd think someone would mention it wasn't uh. Not regular tea. A full glass, undiluted.
Suddenly, i was in different places every second. Speaking with people who weren't there, smoking phantom cigarettes, drinking phantom water, i made "rice and beans" with vanilla and salt.
This went on for three days.
I found out years later through an acquaintance who'd known us both that for those days, they'd keep giving me more while telling me it was kool-aid. (Spoiler: it was not kool-aid) He also mentioned they took a lot of videos. I have no idea what they recorded or what really happened to me while i was there. Frankly, i don't want to. Eventually the one woman of the group (they were all 10-20 years older than i was) let me sober up and brought me to the bus stop.
When i got home, my mom told me there was an Amber Alert. I told the police I was staying with a friend who had an abortion and didn't know what to do.
Communication Is Key
I was “kidnapped” when I was 5 years old. I was with my family 2 brothers, 5 sisters, and parents at the jersey shore. My mom asked my dad to take me in to the men’s room since she had too many girls to handle and I was the littlest and was already in my bathing suit.
Anyway this handover did not occur for my dad so I was left crying in front of the changing roooms. About 15-20 minutes later my mom and dad meet on the beach- sans me. My mom freaks out and runs to locate security or police- leaving the rest of my family on the beach.
Luckily she finds a police officer quickly. She tells him about me being missing. He cuts her off and says what was she wearing? My mom responds that I had a blue bathing suit with a big white star and probably still pink leggings.
The police officer turns and runs quickly away without saying a thing to my mom. My mom is thinking “shit- I have to find another police officer.” She goes to the pay phone to call the police- about 20ish minutes later the first police officer returns ands asks my mom to come with her. My mom is terrified. He explains that he saw a child matching my description eating ice cream with an older woman down the boardwalk and did not want to lose time explaining. By the time he got back to where I had been eating ice cream he couldn’t locate me. The police backup had arrived and blocked the parking lot and looked in each car as they were leaving.
They found me with the woman. She explained that she didn’t think parents deserved a kid that they would lose on the beach and so she was taking me home.
The police officer had left me with the other police officers and the woman in custody bc he wanted to convince my mom to press charges.
What surprises me about the story is that my mom felt sorry for the woman, explained that she had just had a band handoff with my dad and told her that she should never do this again bc she would have been devastated to lose me.
My siblings tease me to this day that I would go with any stranger if they just offer me ice cream.
Leaving A Bad Situation
Looks like I'm one of the few that's actually been a missing person. I had been given a ultimatum about leaving home or stopping certain activities I was involved in by my dad and my mum stayed silent thinking I would break. I left, my dad said I'd be back soon, surprise surprise I was able to become self sufficient within 4 days of sleeping on a close friends sofa.
About 2 weeks after I had left home my mum reported me missing and since I was under 18 the police were especially interested, the people I used to go to school with were questioned as to where I might have gone. It alienated a few old friends who couldn't understand why I wouldn't have unconditional love for my parents (the same friends who earlier on had seen my physical scars from my dad and one who had literally been smacked by my dad). Overall the missing report was annoying but I understand most underage people who leave home are at risk blah blah it's good to look for them. Just in my rare circumstance I didn't need help. Never was found either.
Her Name is Mom
I remember getting lost in a store once many years ago as well... I eventually found a very nice stranger who was very determined to reunite me with my mom. He took me to the customer service desk, and the employee there asked me what my mom's name was so he could make an announcement. "Her name is Mom," I said, thinking the guy was a complete idiot for not understanding this.
So the kind stranger suggested the employee doesn't need to know her name. After all, how many mothers in that store could be looking for a lost child at that moment? So the employee gets on the speaker system and asks any mothers in the store who are looking for a lost child to come to the service desk, that I would be waiting there for her.
The man stayed with me until mom came to get me, and she was very thankful towards him. After that incident, she also made sure I learned her and Dad's names, just in case something a bit more serious ever happened to me, and the police ended up needing to hunt them down to reunite us instead of it being as simple as that announcement in the store.
Remember way back when the internet wasn't a flaming dumpster fire?
Yeah, us either.
The internet has always been a mess, but it's also always been beautiful.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"Giphy
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."Giphy
The Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."Giphy
Figuring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."Giphy
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"Giphy
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."Giphy
A Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."Giphy
Go Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."Giphy
It Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."Giphy
We Used To Love Yahoo
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."Giphy
On a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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