Dating can be difficult. We jump through a bunch of hoops just to find someone worth spending an evening––let alone years––with and it can feel exhausting. And whether we like it or not, most of us are going to contend with the emotional rollercoaster of accepting that we've been with "the one that got away." (Believe it or not, it was probably for a good reason, even if you didn't see it that way at the time.)
After Redditor TJGaming084 asked the online community, "Have you ever broken up with someone and later regretted it? If so, why?" people shared their stories.
"I wouldn't say I regret it..."
My first girlfriend. I wouldn't say I regret it because I am who I am today because of the decisions I made. It took me a lifetime of bad and sometimes abusive relationships to realize that actually everything I could have wanted and needed was in her. She was truly a good soul and in my naivety, I thought there would be many others like her, but life doesn't work that way.
Last I heard she had a husband and a kid, couldn't be happier for her.
"Dated her for 6 years..."
Yeah, she was my first girlfriend. Dated her for 6 years, nothing wrong with the relationship but I assumed something was wrong because she was my first. I didn't know what other relationships were like for comparison. So when I started dating other girls I realized I screwed up.
Been through it myself––realizing that other people don't compare sucks.
"Broke up with my girlfriend..."
Broke up with my girlfriend because she didn't really fit into my idea of who I wanted to be with. About two weeks later it suddenly hit me, she was a kind person who genuinely liked and accepted me. WTF was I doing!? Asked her to reconsider and she said no. We remained friends and a few weeks later I asked her to reconsider again. She said no because she didn't know if I was just lonely or wanted to be with her. Told me to wait a few months and then decide if I wanted to ask her again.
We've been married for close to ten years and I've never been happier.
"I think likewise for her."
I ended what had been a couple of years of a toxic relationship. It had been impacting my friendships with others. I think likewise for her. We never actually fought with each other so it was hard to see for a long time. But in the end, we were holding each other back and needed to go our separate ways. Five years later my life is so much better.
Yet I've regretted it since the day it ended. Luckily she moved far away and we both know it's best to not stay in contact online. I think about her a lot though and regret it had to end the way it did.
"I broke up with her..."
Yep, I broke up with my first girlfriend and regretted it. We were both still virgins, but I didn't want to be, while she was a devout Catholic who wanted to save herself for marriage. I respected that, but 17-year-old me felt an unhappy feeling like I was 'never' going to get to experience sex, though I still happily dated her because she was my first and I was happy enough to be able to tell my friends that I had a girlfriend.
I broke up with her, but after going through that experience and feeling how terrible it was for both of us, first heartbreak and all that, I turned around and won her back. I did it for the wrong reasons - I felt guilty for hurting her, and felt in retrospect like breaking up over sex was a shallow thing to do. Thing is, the spark was gone after that so she broke up with me soon after anyway. It was for the best - we were incompatible in other ways that became apparent later - but hearing her say 'I don't love you anymore' was perhaps the most savage emotional gut-punch of my young life.
And that was how I learned that
a) sex matters, and sexual incompatibility can ruin relationships
And b) sometimes, a relationship can be broken badly enough that it can't be fixed.
I could have been part of..."
I don't regret breaking up with anyone, but I do regret not giving some people a chance. In my life, I've had some genuinely awesome women that were interested in me and I let them slip away for toxic and horrible relationships.
I could have been part of a team where we elevated one another and together became better than we could have alone. Instead, I just couldn't stop myself from settling down into toxic and hateful relationships.
I wasted my youth and can never get it back.
No you didn't, dude.
We just make choices––and some of those choices can sting more than others.
"A couple months in..."
Shortly after the most crushing breakup I had, I found a girl a few years younger than me with two kids just looking for an "adult friend." I was clear about not looking for a relationship and we started hooking up.
A couple of months in I really liked this girl and asked her to make it official. She agreed and I was super into her, but awkward with the kids. She never pushed me to be more involved with them too fast and the kids and I met slowly and then more and more.
We actually broke up a few times. I would end it because it got too scary with the kids and then we would get together and then she would end it because it was feeling too serious. On and off for about two years until I got offered a massive promotion 12 hours away and took it.
We split up "for real", which lasted about 8 months. Then by fluke, I ran into her while visiting my parents and we rekindled. I didn't even realize how much I had missed her until then. We've been doing long-distance for about 9 months now and I'm looking for a job back in town. I've proposed, she accepted, and she's constantly sending me links to dream homes we should look at. The kids and I love each other and when she works I've been taking the kids to school and picking them up and they both call me dad.
I think the biggest thing that kept breaking us up is that we both went into it refusing to want a real relationship and directly looking to not fall in love, and let our stubbornness and egos (which we both have plenty of) refuse to let us reevaluate or be the first to tell the other we were wrong.
"She accepted me for the most part..."
Yes and no. I was in a 4-year relationship with someone I always considered to be not-the-one. Turns out it was all fear of commitment. I left the relationship because, from the get-go, I thought it would be over soon.
It was a great relationship. She accepted me for the most part, we had some personality shocks but I came to accept that I loved her and that I would marry her eventually. Problem is that feeling of "you're losing lots of opportunities" never went away and the personality shocks pilled on it. Eventually, my fear of commitment got to me and I broke up with her in 2019.
Since then, I learned about that fear, regretted the break-up, talked deeply with her about that, and learned that I was not wrong in breaking up with her. The relationship was making me miserable, and having a toll on her too, and it wouldn't get better unless I learned what I learned this last year, and that would probably not be enough. It was the right decision, but for the wrong reasons.
I don't regret it anymore. My 2020 would be way less lonely if I hadn't broken up with her, but I learned a lot about myself and still have a friend in her. We're not as close as we once were, but sometimes that happens.
My point is, you might miss the relationship later, even if it makes you feel bad now. That's okay. Just remember that breaking up is as much a commitment as staying together.
"I still have the flask..."
I dated a single mom in 2012-13. Gorgeous, smart, funny, affectionate, liked everything I did including football and metal. Got me an engraved flask for my birthday with an inside joke written on it. Broke things off because an ex had come back into my life. HUGE mistake. Not only did things not work out with the ex but I burned the bridge with the other woman. She blocked me on FB and IG. I still have the flask and it pains me to look at it.
This is rough.
I still have a couple of mementos from a previous relationship and part of me was, for a long time, torn between deciding whether I should get rid of them. In the end, I figured out how to cope.
"My most recent partner..."
My most recent partner was pretty amazing. And he was the only person I've ever met who was actually willing to fight for me, and not turn away at the first sign of minor inconvenience.
And I rejected and dismissed him repeatedly because I was too hung up on stupid things that didn't really matter.
I could have had the family I desperately need, had I not been a complete and utter idiot jerk.
Relationships can be difficult.
And sometimes, believe it or not, you might not be in the right headspace to accept even the kindest person into your life. Even those who might seem perfect for you won't find a place in your life if you're not at the point where you feel comfortable with yourself.
Have some of your own stories to share? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below.
Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.
It's well-known that the brain of a teenager is a half-formed thing. But that doesn't stop us from getting down ourselves for those old mistakes even years later, as full-blown adults.
Injuries, social falling outs, bad habits started and good habits stopped--all are ripe for putting a knot in our stomachs a decade or more later.
Truly, a big part of adulthood is learning to accept and live with yourself, warts and all.
And many of those warts are composed of mistakes that you can never undo.
Redditor zepher_goose asked:
"Which mistake did you make as a teenager that is still biting you in the a**?"
Many Redditors talked about the things they did that left them with a very direct, long-lasting physical difficulties. Often, the mistake was a single moment, but its consequences go on for years.
"Not wearing my seatbelt. At least my wheelchair is fast." -- CrippleOverlord
"So sorry buddy. I hate that you had to learn that lesson in that way. Best of luck to you." -- ai_test_run
Choose Your Object Wisely
"Punching a wall. Hit the stud. The fracture in my hand didn't properly heal as well as losing the use of two of my tendons which makes opening my hand a nuisance. As you could imagine it was my dominant hand. My life isn't hell from it but boy If I could go back in time to my teenage years, that's when I'd go."
"Please please please!!!! If you ever feel like you need to hit something for whatever reason please hit something soft and not living, like a pillow. Your delicate hands will thank you down the road."
Decades of Healing
"Sharing needles with other people (when I was 16)."
"Spent the next 40 years with Hepatitis C and did two unsuccessful Interferon treatments that lasted a total of 22 months. Fortunately, got cured in 2015 with a 90 day treatment of Harvoni, but still, I spent a lot of time effort during some very important years trying to get well."
That Faint Hissing
"Listened to music way too loud and now i have tinnitus forever. Still hate myself for that one..." -- elgherkin
"Tinnitus is one of those things that before you have it you're like, 'How bad can it be?' But once you have it...." -- Aradne
Others discussed the awful habits they started as teenagers without much forethought for how difficult it was going to be to stop later on.
How They Get Ya
"Nicotine. Smoked a pack a day for almost 15 years, started when I was 16-17 Finally quit 100% about a year ago when my wife and I found out we were expecting."
"I've been really good, and haven't had a single smoke, but I'm not gonna lie, at least once a day I think 'damn a cigarette would be good right now' "
What Is and What Could Have Been
"Gambling excessively, that sh** is dangerous man, just don't do it." -- Hazzmeister72
"Man, had I not been gambling (sports gambling mostly) since 2001 I'd have had a house since 2012 at the latest. Finally got the strength to quit Feb 2020, right before Covid. My bank account has never been so healthy. Fu** gambling" -- lawdhavmercee
Fleeting and Cheap
"Developing a drug habit. So much wasted time and money on short lived experiences." -- Glittering_Cup9438
"I feel you my friend....and a lot of memories you don't even remember." -- TouchDaPhishy
Finally, some zeroed in on the decisions they made, be it socially or professionally, that have had intangible impacts on their well-being and lifestyles.
Find Your Niche
"Not asking my parents for help with finding things I really enjoyed doing. I think maybe if I'd joined a chess club or something like that, I'd actually have had a lot more fun and made some friends."
"I was really lonely for a long time and it wasn't easy to make up for the lack of social development during those important years."
"I said a lot of stupid sh** with my actual name as the username on social media. Thankfully I have a common name but it will be in the back of my head for the rest of my life."
The Harder Way
"Dropping out of college to get married. Going back in my 30s with adult responsibilities and a full time job was the most chaotic time of my life." -- dogandbutterfly1978
"I'll be 31 with 2 kids (a 2 year old and a one year old) when I get be BS next May...I fu**in feel ya on that one." -- SCViper
This list illustrates the first step in getting over it: naming the monkey on your back. Then comes the harder part: letting it go.
As FDR once said, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself". But I beg to differ--I have every right to be afraid of heights. I have every right to be too scared to go to the Empire State Building, and cry every time I play a VR game that involves being on the top of fake buildings. The fear is real, y'all.
As it turns out, there are a lot of universal fears out there. And the people of Reddit have a thing or two to say. Suck it, Roosevelt. WowADeadMidget asked:
What's your biggest fear?
I haven’t even started this article yet, and I’m already sweating. Let’s dive in.
That would keep me awake too.
“Drowning, getting stuck in some tight place and asphyxiating/dying of hunger in there, or getting steamed to death.
That's pretty much the shared 1st place."
“I'm 34 years old and was very close to drowning last year. Got dumped out of a canoe and was pinned against a tree in a current. I pulled myself out and it took about every bit of upper body strength I had, didn't even really realize the severity of it while it was happening because if my head had stayed under I was done for. A person of smaller stature would have been in very serious trouble in the same situation. I think about it a lot too, usually when I'm trying to go to sleep lol."
A valid fear.Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
“I choked on a piece of steak home alone a few months ago and had to give myself the Heimlich maneuver. It took 3 tries. I'll never forget my dog staring at me and the thought of my girlfriend coming home to find me dead on the floor of our apartment.
Now I think about that every time I eat by myself. So choking to death alone is my greatest fear."
This is heartbreaking.
“Biggest fear is losing everything I have worked so hard for later in life. I watched my parents work hard do everything right build wealth and then almost towards their 50s my father got sick, lost his job. And now struggle to make ends they had to sell anything that had any value to them.
Now they just go through life with seemingly little enjoyment because they had everything set and in a blink of an eye it was gone and probably never come back.”
This is why you should check in with your friends.
“Being one of those people who dies alone in their home and doesn't get found for weeks or more because they have no one who cares enough to notice they're not around anymore.”
“There was an old man in our vicinity who died like this. Apparently he died on the toilet and been there for weeks in the summer heat with closed windows and doors so the smell was also not noticable to the neighbours. The firemen and policemen brought the body down from the flat in two bags apparently it was already falling into several pieces.
The smell was lingering in the apartment for a few days, one of my friends lives two floors down and he said it was unbearable.”
Let’s go deeper, shall we? Sorry in advance.
Good advice.Will Smith Memory GIF by STARZGiphy
“Memory loss!!! Literally, everything I know in my life is memories.”
“When I started to have memory problems, it super freaked me out. Now it's a little easier. I surround myself with trusted people and write everything down. Memory is important, but if you take care of yourself and find ways to keep them externally it can help a lot. Memory books, notes, friends.”
“Deep water or caves with no light that you have to crawl to get through. So a cave full of water would be the worst.
That or what happened to that guy who was repairing an industrial bread oven when it turned on and he couldn't switch it back off from the inside.”
I’m sorry, WHAT???
You're fine one moment, and then the next day you have a headache. Turns out you got infected on that camping trip six years ago and it's been hiding in you ever since.
Now that you have a headache, it's in your brain and you're already dead. There's next to nothing doctors can do except put you in a coma and say a prayer, but odds are nearly 100% that if you do survive that you're a vegetable or nearly one.
You experience incredible pain, irrational hydrophobia, manic behavioral changes, and a total loss of motor control near the end. It's got to be one of the most humiliating, dehumanizing and terrifying ways to go, and it can happen just like that.
Rabies is terrifying.”
If that last one didn’t shake you, these next few will. Read at your own risk.
All we can do is stay optimistic.heaven gate GIF by South Park Giphy
“Not being alive anymore - the finality.
I'm not afraid of dying - the act of it, anyway. I'm not afraid of what comes next - I've not bothered myself with that one.
What I'm afraid of is being… done. Here one day, then gone. Not able to do anything else.
I cannot out it into better words, that's how suffocating the anxiety of being gone is for me. Maybe it would be better if I were religious and believed in an after life, but the best I can do is convince myself that I believe your personal energy spreads to other beautiful things in life when you pass. But the mind, the mind just being… done. That is truly frightening to me.”
Don’t watch the latest Purge movie.
“Societal collapse. A climate or economic or disease-based destruction of society as we know it. Every part of normal life ceasing to exist, and every person having to fend for themselves. There's a documentary called 'Collapse' that scared the crap out of me."
"An even more frightening thought is that collapse is already happening, and we just don't have the perspective to recognize it. After the collapse of Rome, people living in Roman territories still considered themselves Romans for a long time, even though the Roman state was gone. Granted, things happen a lot more quickly in the modern world, and that in and of itself is concerning - the rate of change is ever-increasing. What happens to any system that encounters increasingly rapid changes? What happens to an airplane or a bridge or a human being whose rate of change keeps accelerating? They spin out of control until failure.
Climate change is a potentially civilization-ending event amongst several other candidates for bringing about our doom. Nobody has bothered to fix it yet, and even with more mundane problems, I feel that the government has already abandoned us. Just like some poor farmers five hundred miles away from the city of Rome, we cannot hope for the state to come and save us once things break down - they'll be too busy enjoying the last of their feasts, orgies, or taxpayer-funded drugs before the lights go out."
A parent’s worst nightmare.
“The thought of anything/anyone hurting or something seriously bad happening to my daughter.
I once heard someone say that having a child is like taking a piece of your heart and letting it walk around outside of your body.
That’s exactly what it feels like. I don't care for much things, but I would be nothing but an empty shell without her.”
Alright, now that you’ve read all of that, go drink some water and take a nap. It was a doozy.
Now I’m thinking about societal collapse. Great.
As much as there is an allure of living in small towns, there seems to be just as much mystery.
There is a sense of security in knowing that someone has your back.
But on the same token, as is typically depicted in movies, small towns have their fair share of nefarious activity that those in the know are sweeping under the rug to maintain their town's good name.
Curious to hear about bizarre cases that don't always make mainstream news headlines, Redditor descended_from_apes asked:
"Small Town Redditors, what's the weirdest unsolved crime in your town, old or new?"
Not all mysteries involve unsolved murders but are just as baffling
A Crime In The Turd-Degree
"Nowhere near the scale of disappearing children or Nazi collaborators, but my hometown's biggest mystery is who keeps sh**ting in the holes at the golf course."
"Person has been doing it for more than 20 years. Every 2-3 months, there's a hole that's been pooped in."
"I found out my grandma played cards with the mob in a liquor store basement. I was reading a news article on a cold case from the former owner disappearing for an English assignment and my grandma kinda just frowned, told me she used to play cards with him and never payed his debts."
Unsolved missing persons cases like the ones mentioned below can be agonizing for family members.
"Happened this year."
"A man rented a room at a guest house. When he left the host went to go clean/ prepare the room for the next occupant."
"The room was covered in blood. In the shower there was a chair with a pool of blood-it is assumed the person died in the chair."
"So the baffling part is that there is a camera trained in the room's door. The man entered and left alone without a speck of blood on him."
"The authorities assumed the blood belonged to a woman whose chopped-up body was found in a nearby damm. Blood tests came back and it doesn't."
"1973: My 4th grade buddy, Guy Heckle, disappeared during a boy scout camping trip. They found his coat, that was all. Not another clue after all these years."
The Bar Patron
"Man got kicked out of a bar 3 years ago this December and went missing. Nobody has come forward with tips at all. He went missing from a fairly busy part of town too."
And sometimes, when the bodies turn up, their identities can remain forever a mystery.
In Deep Trouble
"Where I grew up they found a dude who was buried under the cement in a building, no history or information about him. It's clear that he got into some deep trouble with someone."
Remains In A Lake
"About 15 years ago. A town near where I grew up drained a man made lake that was used for recreational swimming. This particular year they decided to drain the whole thing to do a clean up. They discovered an intact skeleton that had been sitting at the bottom of the lake for something like 50 years based on the class ring that was still on the skeleton. From my understanding this person had never been reported missing or anything."
Some of the saddest cases involve the death of a newborn with no known causes.
"About 30yrs ago a refuse worker found the badly burned body of an 18 month old boy amongst the bags and recycling. Forensics deduced that due to the condition of his liver he'd died less than a week before his body was found."
"Hospital and medical records were used to establish that nobody in the county was missing a child."
"He doesn't have a name on his gravestone."
"Edit: it was in Cumbria, England."
"The police likely didn't retain a DNA sample, or we might have heard something about familial DNA by now.The local police aren't very good - look up the case of Poppi Worthington as an example."
"Most local people assume he died of SIDS, then his parents panicked and tried to conceal his body. Whoever did it must have had an element of local knowledge in order to know where to put the corpse."
A Proper Burial
"There is a street in my city called Park Ave. It's a very small city, mostly blue collar."
"In 2005, a newborn baby boy was found dead near a factory on Park Ave. Doctors could tell he was born alive and likely lived for a few hours before he died. I don't know if he was abandoned (left to die) or killed in some way; that info was never released. Police made a statement saying please come forward, we want to help you bury this child properly."
"The mother sent an anonymous letter to the police station two weeks later, and said she would come to the station soon. The letter didn't explain the circumstances, but it did say she was afraid."
"She never came forward. The baby was named 'Baby Parker' and money was raised to give him a proper burial. People still leave gifts at his grave."
Thanks to horror movies, small towns get a bad rep.
Under the veneer of warm hospitality and kindness lies an unsettling sense of discomfort.
Are the denizens covering up a murder committed by one of their own? Or was there a grifter who dumped a body in their unassuming town and fled the scene?
In the game of life, no one gets out alive. But hopefully, your life's journey won't end in a small town.