People Who've Aged Out Of The Foster System Without Being Adopted Explain What They Wish Prospective Parents Knew
The foster system, while unfortunately necessary, is inherently broken. It results in traumatized kids and several groups of families who ultimately "use" the system for their own gain.
Sometimes foster care ends in adoption and a loving match, but sometimes all it ends in is pain and the need for more therapy. Though folks with good intentions can be found, it takes a special kind of person to be able to sink themselves into the constant love and difficulty that comes with fostering kids.
u/fourleggedfishfood asked:
Here were some of those answers.
Managing Resources
Sometimes it's better to age out of the system since the state will pay for your schooling until 23 and medical until 26 (look into your own state laws).
You can always formally adopt later, but if you do so before, there will be loads of legal hoops to jump through due to how the system is run.
Aside from this, allow them to be kids. Teach them things like finance and get them a way to build credit, also how to apply for loans and work with investments (both financial and also goods).
Love Them First
I know that this doesn't answer the question... Foster dad here. My sister adored a few kids and had a hard time. Someone gave her the following terrible Advice. "you don't have to love them, you just have to tolerate them". Terrible advice that my sister lived by.
I live by a much different philosophy. I try to treat our foster kids the same as my own. That being said, I understand that they have many life experiences that I have not had and probably can't comprehend.
I try to give them a little more space and patience. At the same time we try to provide some structure and make sure the understand expectations. They get the same amount of emotional support our kids get and as much physical love as they'll tolerate.
We're also in the process of adopting a little boy. He's lived with us since the summer. He's slowly transitioned from calling us by our first names to mom and dad. The other day he even said "love you" as he left to play with some friends. First time, we were a little shocked.
Assume The Best
Don't treat your adoptive kid(s) differently than your real kid(s), foster kids are not always abused so try not to assume the worst, be willing to be patient with your family member(s) while they navigate their new situation.
To Build Trust
I was a temporary ward but hopefully it's okay to comment.
One piece of advice that I'd like to give to prospective parents is to not badmouth the child's biological parents. It's of no benefit for a child to hear an adoptive or foster parent going on about your parent's issues like addictions or not showing up for court or visits.
It doesn't help your self esteem when you hear negative things about them. When people did that I almost instantly disliked them for doing that so I never trusted them. It also made me feel like they were using my sad story to make themselves look like heroes and it annoyed me.
A System For Comfort
I ended up with a bonus teen in February of 2020. My son's gf needed a place to stay and her family life was rough at the time. She has lived with us since then and while she talks about moving out at 18 in 6 months, I tell her she doesn't have to move out so quick. I didn't get financial compensation for having her (never my intention) but it did make things tight as a single mom.
It has been awesome watching her blossom here. Christmas was interesting as she shared her past experiences. She worked part time to be able to give her huge extended siblings gifts. It is prepping me for foster work after both kids move out later.
The other thing that started happening as she got used to me, was she asked me where I was going and when I would be home. My son didn't do that and he also stays at his dads part time. I learned it was trauma she had as a young child with bio mom abandoning her with younger sibs and being put in bad situations. So now I make sure she knows my schedule.
I try to treat her as my child. She adds stuff to the food list, and gets shopping trips to get shoes, underwear, makeup, hair stuff- she is biracial so her hair is different than mine and needs different products. Over the years, kids have always been welcome to stay for a little while to a long while.
Kicking kids out of foster care at 18 with no safety net is immoral.
The Kids Are The Best Parts
Not 100% sure about whether I can reply - I'm a foster parent for a few kids who have aged out. In general, the advice I'd offer other parents is what folks have already suggested - treat them no differently, don't assume the worst, assume good intentions, etc.
What I would offer to other parents that might be different, would be a few things
- how important different foundational assumptions are. Don't assume kids know how to deal with time or schedules. Assume kids have food security issues. Don't assume they have any idea how to safely navigate the internet. Etc
- TALK to the kids. Just talk to them and ask them what they want. And, ya know, execute against what they want.
- The system is often harder than the kids. Protect the kids against the system itself.
Slow And Steady
Treat your foster kids as more or less equals who you are letting live in your house at first. Go slow. They are going to believe you're only in it for the money and not trust you. Giving them chores or too many restrictions are going to make them really stressed and annoyed. Find a way to connect with them. Play a board game or take them out for lunch. Talk to them like they are your friend. Eventually over time if you do things right they'll come to see you as a parental figure and not a warden or stranger. Hopefully someday they'll see you AS their parent. Just take it slow. Okay?
Skills Need To Be Taught
I wish people would understand just how developmentally delayed some of us are. Between severe adhd and years of horrible abuse and neglect, I was nowhere near the level of life skills that caregivers would expect of me, and it led to so much added stress and trauma.
Knowing you're going to age out on your own is so much added pressure, and it feels like people just expect us to be able to rise to the challenge even more so than our peers outside care, despite having none of the tools or support they do. It's really f**king hard.
Less Rejection
I'm not a foster kid or former foster kid. But I'm a therapist for teen girls in group homes who mostly end up aging out. It sucks. We need more foster homes willing to take teens. The system is broken and it perpetuates a sense of hopelessness for anyone who actually gives a damn.
Also, most of these kids have been in for YEARS bouncing from home to home. Stop giving notices so easily. Ask the social worker for help, get in family therapy, figure out what the kid likes and support them doing that thing. They aren't some thing you picked up at the store and you can return because they cuss or yell sometimes. Even if they smoke or "are disrepectful" they deserve to be kids and have a safe and stable environment.
Just my opinion.
The Trauma
That moving from home to home transporting your stuff in trash bags and getting a new mom and dad all the time is exhausting and causes trust issues.
No, we don't believe you love us (because we've been moved out of previous homes), no we don't trust you (again, it's not you, it's what we've been through) and that we probably have anxiety disorder which manifests itself differently in everyone (with common themes- jumping at loud noises, tapping our foot, etc.).
We might be quiet, we might talk too much because we are accidentally overcompensating. We don't know who we are because our entire existence has turned into a coping mechanism. Coming out of this will take time.
Edit: also if you foster us for years and never adopt, we assume you are doing it for the money and badge of being a "good person."
Years later
I aged out at 21 because I was a full time student. My mothers rights were never terminated so I wasn't able to be adopted. My advise is don't give up on them and just because we age out doesn't mean we don't need you anymore. At the ages of 18 or 21 we are still basically kids.
If you do plan on severing ties after they age out at least teach them about money management, savings and building credit, family planning, resume writing, interviewing skills and make sure they have at least one good set of interview clothes. Those are just a few things that immediately come to mind for me.
Survival mode
I wish that my foster parents would know that I didn't mean to be so feral. I wasn't removed from my bio family until I was 12. I had a hard time unlearning my survival skills or figuring out which ones to keep. For the most part, I enjoyed most of my foster homes. At 17 I was placed with a family that is still my family.
It's really hard for a child to reconcile losing their whole world. I lost all my pets, my friends, and oh yeah- my siblings and parents. Being separated from my siblings caused damage to those relationships that has still yet to be repaired 20 some years later. I still mourn that loss. There is no one alive today who has known me my whole life. Not one single person, and I am young. I don't know how to explain how that feels. Not lonely, but unseen maybe?
Sibling bond
Being split up from my siblings permanently affected our relationships with each other. We have no animosity towards each other but we are like polite strangers. Visiting with each other was always awkward instead of being able to just hang out naturally. My older brother and I went to live with our dad when I was 13 but I never got to live with my younger siblings once we were split up.
We all live in different parts of the country now and go years between seeing each other in person. I think we all limit how much we interact today because it feels awkward. My brother passed away in October and for about 4 weeks, we were all in touch and I was thinking, "Maybe we will start having more of a relationship with each other". And then the communication just died off again and none of us bother.
Men Break Down Which Things They Will Never Quite Understand About Women
Men and women.
What a conundrum.
Or mess, whatever description makes more sense.
I don't believe this battle of wills and thoughts will be answered in this lifetime.
But maybe some headway can be made with a few honest thoughts.
Some guys out there really want to "get it," ladies.
And by "get it," they mean answers to questions and logic that escapes them.
So how can you help?
Redditor GrouchyResolution974 wanted to know what the boys can't quite seem to grasp about the ladies, so they asked:
"Men of Reddit, what’s one thing you will never understand about women?"
Thankfully, I like boys, but's it's a fascinating topic. I'm listening.
Follicle Issues
Giphy"Based on the amount of hair I have seen in the bathroom, and that I somehow still keep finding in my clothes/bu**crack, how do you still have so much hair on your head?"
shartnado3
mark your territory?
"Are you planting hair ties and bobby pins everywhere to mark your territory?"
"This actually came up in a previous relationship when my girlfriend (at the time) found a 'foreign' bobby pin in one of the bathroom drawers, and freaked out about it until I casually explained that she is in fact not the first girlfriend I ever had and that I don't go through and scrub every square inch of my apartment after a breakup."
onamonapizza
Chaotic Sizes
"Why are women clothing sizes all over the place? One store a size 4 could be a 9 at a different store."
Zihark53
"We don't get it either, and we don't like it. The fashion industry refuses to standardize sizes, make bras for well endowed women at a reasonable price, or put useable pockets on our clothing. It's freaking MADDENING."
TattooedWenchkin
"This is a topic most of us rant about at LEAST twice a month, if not every time we go clothes shopping. My best friend says women’s sizing depends on your horoscope and your immediate proximity to a chicken."
queenlesbian99
Why so Small?
"Why are their pockets so small? Who started this?"
GBgabe13
"Pockets went away because 20th century fashion silhouettes were too slim for pockets, cost of installing pockets makes manufacturers not include them in designs, and women’s clothing is made of weaker fabrics that aren’t suitable for pockets. The purse industry thing is a myth. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W2zSSE9pgC8"
butter_milk
Chatter
Mean Girls Gossip GIF by Paramount MoviesGiphy"Starting a conversation, then continuing the conversation after walking into another room where you can't be heard."
therealfrankpenny
Women have super sonic hearing, it's a gift.
Bruh!
Jersey Shore Dancing GIF by Jersey Shore Family VacationGiphy"I'm going to McDonalds, want anything? No. *Proceeds to eat all of my fries, bruh."
california-whiskey
"'I'll just have some of yours.'"
"No I want all of mine, that's the point. I'll just get 2 and finish yours."
Idontdanceforfun
0 to 100!!
"How a woman can instantly tap into the rage (with 0 energy loss) they experienced from an argument we had 2 years ago, and I don't even remember it happening."
whatchlookinat
"It's because of the implications of the past rage. I think women tend to connect behaviors into a pattern more, rightly or wrongly. So X things is seen as a warning sign for something negative."
"Something happen twice is a pattern of behavior that indicates negative thing. I think men tend to view each incident as an isolated event. I don't think either one is right or wrong. I think you need both kinds of thinkers in a social group. A lot of women just tend to lean one way and a lot of men the other."
jittery_raccoon
Location?
"Where do you want to eat?!"
WhenAllElseFail
"As a girl, I absolutely hate having to choose. I will never turn down a place when my husband picks. If I actually want something I will tell him. It should be simple. I get stuck making dinner at home most days and make those decisions- don't make me also figure out food out of the house too."
nickygirl19
"Frankly this is a fair take that I’ve never considered."
flaming_carrot12
Hats off y’all...
"Why the f**k you would ever want to be pregnant. I watched my wife push out two kids with no drugs, and y’all have my undying respect. No freaking way I’d do that dude. Courage is defined as a woman who intentionally get pregnant, knowing what that actually entails and all the terrifying risks associated with it. Hats off y’all."
ToastFromTexas
Bad Company
"Toxic Positivity. Why are you always hang around people you don't like and pretend to be nice to them."
Way_2_Go_Donny
"It’s not necessarily a good habit for sure, but women's networks rely upon collaboration so if you burn bridges, women can do a lot of damage to you socially with a bit of well placed gossip. Sadly. Women’s weapons are psychological devices, vs mens which may be more overtly aggressive."
Dry_Representative_9
Googley Eyes
Want You Love GIF by NICOLE DADDONAGiphy"How they can look at men and find them attractive. I’m an overweight turd and somehow I’ve managed to find one that finds me attractive."
mrtouchybum
We thank these ladies for answering these questions so candidly, in hopes of catching some of the men up to speed.
Do you have any burning questions or things you'd like to answer? Let us know in the comments.
Being a man can be a mess.
It's not all fun and games.
Of course, being a lady isn't fun 24/7 either, but let's talk about the boys.
There are problems and issues galore.
But no one talks about it enough.
Well, time for your Ted Talk.
Redditor Pale_Armadillo_254 wanted to hear about the downsides of being men, they asked:
"Men of Reddit, What's the one thing you hate about being a man?"
I hate having to always be chivalrous.
Like... open the door for me sometime.
Not Now
Linda Lavin Men GIF by CBSGiphy"Sometimes my penis just won't listen to me."
Enderman958
"My boyfriend every time I cry about something."
virtualspecter
Smooth Surface
"Baldness. I miss having hair to run my fingers through. In my teen years I grew it out because I knew I wouldn't have it for the rest of my life. I miss playing with it, I miss the warmth, and the cooling (short hair actually acts as cooling fins compared to being bald and sweat just pouring off)."
"I miss the sense of it being blown in the wind, I miss the slight protection against bumps and scrapes (cabinets are the bane of my existence). When I had a girlfriend, one of the nice things she would do would be to drape her hair over my head so I could reimagine having hair."
Ok-disaster2022
Dumbfounded...
"Being completely invisible. It can be an advantage. When I want to I can go about my day in peace without interruptions from anybody. And sometimes you just want to slip into the background and be anonymous. But at the same time nobody asks you how you are doing, if you need help or acknowledge that you exist at all. If you have problems you just have to deal with it yourself and get over it."
"On the plus side you get good at problem solving, but it can be mentally tiring and demotivating at times. A lot of men are completely starved for positive attention. Not just from women, but any kind of positive attention at all. The last time I heard anything positive about my appearance it was from grandma. It was 15+ years ago and I am pretty sure she was drunk."
"I talked with my wife about this a few years ago and she found it very weird and sad. After that she has started to say something positive from time to time to the people she work with. The first time she did it was one of her closest coworkers. He was completely dumbfounded by it. He knew very well that it was just a friendly compliment, but he said he didn't really know how to handle it. Because he could not remember the last time something like that had happened."
Ashtar-the-Squid
Knowledge
"The automatic assumption that I just know about mechanics, carpentry, and DIY."
grudthak
"I notice this with my dad, everyone assumes he knows what he's talking about when it comes to mechanics or DIY stuff but he has no idea so he comes to ask me or my mum because he's utterly clueless but yet no matter how much he tells people, they still keep coming back to him."
Zdos123
Angles
pee GIFGiphy"When I go to pee and have it all lined up just for it to shoot out a 40 degree angle."
beauz44
"Even worse is when you get a split stream where you can't angle both of them into the bowl at the same time."
RareKrab
Peeing is such an obstacle.
Man Up
Sad Season 2 GIF by FriendsGiphy"Many people in my life assume that I can just turn off my anxiety and depression at will to 'power through' because... manly man reasons."
therealjustin
"That’s one thing for me that I hate. I basically have to power through my negative feelings because everything will go wrong if I don’t. And then my friends and family wonder why I have issues being vulnerable."
TheMemeSaint177
Just Moms
"As a single dad, my son is generally excluded from things like park meet-ups or birthday parties because apparently, I don't fit in with the other parents. I've probably been told it a thousand times in a thousand variations. What they actually mean is I'm a man, and mums don't want me around because it's generally just mums."
wastelander78
Help Me
"Lack of emotional support. People always think you have some hidden agenda."
UniverseBear
"And when you voice frustration and upset, people take it as anger."
ChrisInBaltimore
"Try being 6'4 290lbs and having this issue. I've gotten written up at work because I was intimidating someone. For voicing my frustration."
Dimaethor
"This happened to me about 2 months back. Was getting pushed pushed pushed, regularly forced to work OT because the people above me couldn't manage deadlines properly. My voice raised a little expressing my frustration one day in the office, barely, and now management thinks I have an anger issue. Yet my boss yells at every thing. Time for a new job."
ArcaninesTail
In Copenhagen...
"About a month ago, I was walking down the street in Copenhagen, it was close to midnight, and I was the only one on the street. It was dark and a bit foggy. I was minding my own business, having my headphones on. I hadn't noticed, at some point, I was walking about 15 ft behind a young woman. She was clearly walking faster, slightly looking over her shoulder at me."
"I understood the situation, and stopped walking, pretending to look at windows, while she had time to walk out if sight. I understand why she probably was nervous, walking alone down a dark street, with and older guy walking behind her, and as such, gave her space to get some distance between us. I also hate, that, thats where we are."
Material_Ambition_95
Just Blah
Fashion Posing GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"I guess men's fashion. I've had absolutely no luck finding anything I like, and all my current clothes are very plain."
Tylinator
Men, these things can certainly be frustrating. Thanks for sharing.
Do you have anything to add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.
People Share The Best Examples Of 'It Can't Be That Easy' But It Really Was
That pile of laundry has been sitting there, waiting to be folded and put away.
Those emails are waiting to be answered.
A form is waiting to be filled out.
We've all done the thing where we dread and put off something, only to discover later that completing it wasn't that big of a deal.
Redditor UnoAboveAll asked:
"What was your 'it can’t be that easy / it was that easy' moment in your life?"
Auditions
"I Lived in Jersey and a friend invited me to a commercial audition at an NYC bar. I went because of the bar."
"I auditioned after two beers and left thinking it was a waste of time."
"A month later, I get a call that they want to use me for the commercial. The director was the guy who directed the original 'Space Jam.'"
"I got lines and ended up in two of their commercials and got a 40k payday where I thought someone made a clerical error. Started my acting career and am now a writer/director/flight attendant."
- ZDrev10
Home Repairs
"Fixing clogged drains."
"Started out because my sink drain plug wouldn't stay up. Poked around under the sink and found the pop-up rod had rusted completely through and broken. Cost me $5 for a new one at the plumbing supply store next to where I worked at the time. Took five minutes to figure out how to swap, and now I know how sink and shower drains come apart, which makes unclogging them simple."
"Maybe it's just me, but in my brain, it seemed like that was something I'd have to call a plumber to come to unclog, but it's all remarkably simple."
- figmaxwell
Small Claims Court
"Suing someone in Small Claims. It was surprisingly easy because my case was rock solid and I had a professionally printed document of evidence, witness statements, and precise records sent over to the court while the Defendant did literally nothing but send unlabeled loose printouts of my Facebook page as her so-called evidence."
"It was a very quick judgment for the plaintiff!"
- Kelosaurus_Rex
Salary Request
"Got a salary request when applying for a job, accidentally wrote double what I meant to write since the number keys were right next to each other. They accepted anyway."
- ahjteam
Light and Sound
"Worked on an almost five-million dollar lighting rig for a concert as a junior guy on the job. We get it all plugged in and patched but none of it would turn on. All the guys were freaking out trying to figure out why. The team collectively had about 150 years of experience."
"No one checked to see if the generators were turned on."
"I was like no way this is why but I'll just go check if the generators are good. Flipped stuff on and voila."
- Firerobe
Dumpster Diving
"Found a 60” tv by the dumpster. Plugged it in, didn’t turn on. Looked up common problems with the model number, bought a part on eBay for $20, replaced the part, and had a huge TV."
- ThinkIGotHacked
You Can't Win If You Don't Apply
"In college, the professor advertised an internship and wrote the info on the board."
"Out of a class of 150 students, I was the only one to apply and I fulfilled my internship requirement for graduation."
- pendeltonskyforce
Test Retakes
"All the students pretty much bombed a networking final. The teacher said we could retake it but we would be alone (no group). Which worked out perfectly for me; they wouldn't get in my way and I wouldn't have to coordinate them."
"I was also the only person who showed up to retake and brought my final grade up to a 90."
- maiden_burma
Shoelaces
"Tying shoe laces."
"When I was a kid, no one ever managed to teach me how to tie my shoes. I remember never being able to get that last step that ties it all together and in general, I suck with knots. I would have been garbage in the boy scouts. I got into my early 20's relying mostly on velcro shoes."
"But one day, I sat down with a pair of new shoes, determined to figure it out. I put one on and tied it correctly on the first try. I just sat there dumbfounded for a few minutes, wondering how it had been that easy all along."
- IIIMjolNirIII
Renting
"I was recently looking for an apartment and rent in my city, like most cities currently, is outrageous."
"So after three days of looking, I found this two-bedroom apartment with a price that normally would get you a roach-infested one-bedroom or studio s**thole in a bad part of town."
"But these apartments look nice, they're in a good part of town, the reviews online are all positive, I can't figure out the catch."
"Then I see there is a year-long wait list for this place, but I decided to go to the leasing office and after talking to the property manager, I get bumped to the top of the list for an apartment that becomes available next month."
"I keep waiting for the bottom to drop out. Most people spend months looking for places in my city and they'd be paying a third more than I'm paying at a minimum for a similar place. I looked for three days and found this place but I think I just got lucky and it was just that easy."
- C0nqueredW0rm
House Chores
"Actually doing the chore you put off for a few days."
- thebigjuicyman25
Sleeping
"I never slept well, ever."
"There’s an over-the-counter magnesium supplement called 'Calm.' I drink a cup every night and sleep like a hibernating bear."
"It was that easy."
- DomingoLee
Squeaky Doors
"I had a loose hinge on my door. It kind of drove me crazy for three years, but I had no idea how to fix the wood that had been stripped."
"Then I found a product on Amazon for $10 where you shove on a sleeve, break it off and then screw in the new screws. Bought two new hinges that don’t squeak."
"Took about 10 minutes and cost $20 and it’s no longer a problem!"
- captain-flak
Finding the Perfect Job
"I've hated every job I've ever had. At 18 I joined the military for six years... that sucked the whole time, then went into customer service at Walmart, and they were a bunch of a**holes to everyone. Tried security and they were just degrading."
"Job after job doing what I thought was the right thing. I decided to apply for a local HVAC company just working call center, nothing big, I think there's a total of nine of us on phones. Honestly, it's the best job I've ever had, we all get along, spend hours a day on our group chat sharing memes, and our management has one on one meetings every two weeks with the goal of 'this meeting is not work-related but we want to know just how you're doing, how life's treating you, what do you need?'"
"There's constant communication about expectations and how we can better meet them and how they can help us perform better. The majority of the company's profits are used to better employee lives (I get monthly commission and residuals, and $30 a month healthcare with BCBS) along with monthly potlucks, paid lunches, and competitive pay starting at $17 an hour."
"I haven't seen any turnover... literally none, my position was only hiring because too many people got promoted."
- zombiem00se
Self-Improvement
"Self-improvement and reflection. Stopped looking at outside factors in my life and started looking at what I could control. Weight, time, who I spent time with, etc. I didn't need to change my whole life in one day. I needed to make small progress."
"Spending one day less a week on gaming and one day a week on improving myself is better than not improving at all. Allowing myself to fail *with intent* to improve is so much easier now that I don't spend time with negative people who demand perfection."
- livinglitch
This particular group of Redditors proved that not only is it possible to get ahead and to accomplish something, but it can be fairly easy to do so.
People Break Down The Absolute Best Examples Of 'Welp, Society Is F**ked'
No matter how positive each of us may try to be, there are moments when it's easy to feel hopeless about how the world looks.
Some have become fairly certain of society's demise because of a specific event they witnessed.
Redditor FlyingStudio22 asked:
"What's the best example of 'Welp, society is f**ked'?"
Work Comes First
"When I lost three of my closest family members to a drunk driver accident, and I couldn’t get time off work to plan and go to their funeral because, 'you need to find coverage and if nobody will cover for you… you have to come in!' Yeah, none of my coworkers wanted to cover my shift. This happened very recently also."
"After I posted this, a lot of people asked if I went to the funeral. I did, and I’m so happy I did. It really helped me find some closure and take some time with my family. I’m going to request time off to see the motherf**ker who hit them get sentenced, and if they won’t let me go… I simply won’t show up again.)"
"(I also politely told my manager to f**k off and that he can fire me if he isn’t happy with my decision to attend… still not fired.)"
- Beneficial_Cat9225
The Story That Should Have Been
"I saw a news story of a high school student paying off a teacher's student loans."
- greenaidsdaog
Student Loan Problems
"There was a game show where the contestants played for the show paying off their student loans. If that doesn’t scream, 'we’re f**ked,' I don’t know what does."
- Stillwater215
Poor Medical Care
"Pretty much any ER in any major city. Spend a few days in one and see just how incredibly f**ked up a significant percentage of the population is."
- Stock-Bid-9509
Stress's Impact
"I think about my friends, family, and colleagues, and I cannot name a single person who does not have a malady or six. Depression, anxiety, stomach ulcers, heart issues, etc."
- neomattlac
The Price to Pay
"How people with illnesses have to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars just to survive. I swear, it's so messed up. 'Oop, you don’t have enough money for a heart transplant that will save your life?… well, not our problem, say goodbye to your family.'"
"Like, if you don’t have money, they will let you die. Literally. And then they’ll be like, 'There's nothing we can do about it, sorry.' YES, YES THERE IS. This is someone’s life and you’re gonna let them die because they don’t have enough money? It really shows you how people don’t care about other people's lives."
- nilyat07
The Rent is Too Darn High
"Stagnation of wages since the 1980s combined with the increased cost of living in the 400% mark in key areas such as rent and food."
"Future's pretty bleak."
- uredoom
Distributed Wealth
"2/3 of wealth created throughout the pandemic went to the top 1%. Income inequality is going to be the downfall of civilization eventually."
- Crime_Dawg
Unconfirmed Sources
"People mindlessly believing propaganda that is easily disproven by a ten-second google search."
- Wild-Striker
Environmental Crisis
"The fish fillets are getting smaller, but staying the same price."
"If ocean ecosystems are no longer able to sustain consistently harvesting large fish, that shows deep problems that cannot be covered up. Couple that with the cost of the poorest, staple foods increasing while wages stagnate, and you have a perfect recipe for societal collapse."
"People are kept docile by all governments with bread and circuses. Well alas, the bread is getting more expensive and has for decades, while the circuses kinda suck and are rapidly going bankrupt."
"I have been recently re-reading Asimov's 'Foundation,' and his discussion of how powerful empires collapse through a gradual shrinking of ambition and will until all that the smartest are trying (and failing) to achieve is the maintenance of the status quo was rather disconcerting. Sound familiar to anyone else working in the public sector?"
- e-girl
No Teamwork
"When I saw how everyone reacted to the pandemic outbreak. Turning health issues into political ones. That basically cinched it."
- sharpshooter188
Lack of Priorities
"I know the exact moment I realized this. It was during the republican debate in 2015. I forget who made a comment about trump's hand size in a suggestive manner, but Trump responded by saying there's no problem there."
"Think about that, during a presidential debate, arguing about literal d**k size, and no one batting an eye. That's when I knew."
- Manimal31
Politics Aside
"I knew when they booed McCain simply for saying Obama was a decent family man."
- DogsAreOurFriends
"Negotiable"
"The fact that human rights are 'negotiable.'"
- teddyslayerza
All of the Above
"gestures broadly at everything all the time"
- nude-rater-in-chief
Many of the points made here are deeply troubling, and it makes sense that some people would view them as signs for societal doom.
Unfortunately, it's all about perspective, and what may be perceived as terrible today may seem slight in comparison tomorrow.