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People Who Objected During A Wedding Share The Reason That They Did It

People Who Objected During A Wedding Share The Reason That They Did It

People Who Objected During A Wedding Share The Reason That They Did It

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At most normal weddings, people forever hold their peace. But given the opportunity to object to a union, how would it go? Would it be received at all? Or would it be difficult to swallow?

Redditor Tonezinator asked:

Redditors who objected at a wedding, what was the reason? How did it go after?

Here is what the internet had to say.

A Little Month

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I objected before the wedding. The best man and I (bridesmaid) knew the bride was cheating on our friend (groom). We tried to talk him out of the wedding beforehand but they went through with it. I said I couldn't be in the wedding because I couldn't stand there and act like it was right.

The groom woke up late one month after the wedding. One month to the date exactly and found the texts of her cheating. They divorced right after that.

Team Huddle

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I was at my cousins wedding as a teen. During the part where the officiant asks "Does anyone object?" all of the groomsmen huddled up for about 10 seconds, grunted and nodded affirmingly. They went back to their standing positions and the best man gave the thumbs up.

Fear Itself

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I didn't object, but we were worried my cousin would, so we left that part out of the ceremony. Not that he had any founded fears, we just didn't want him making an a** of himself in public. Been married 20+ years now.

Don't Be Dave

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Like most folks, I haven't objected at a wedding and would die of social anxiety if I did. But I met a guy who tried.

Meet Dave. Dave's an older guy, likes to hang out with the young and hip crowd, even manages a few hook ups with girls half his age. Dave dates a younger gal for a while, really likes her, but she moves on and several years down the line, is about to get married. Dave and said gal meet up for a drink, and somehow, Dave gets the impression she still loves him and wants him to make a grand gesture to "prove" his love.

Queue to a destination wedding several weeks later. Dave trailers his horse down to the wedding, with the idea that he'll walk the horse down the isle and shout "I object" and carry the girl away. Girl in question gets wind of Dave's plan, and calls the police. As Dave pulls up at the wedding and starts to get the horse out, police stop him and politely ask him to leave. Dave still really wants to prove his love, so being Dave, he starts throwing haymakers and yelling for love for the girl. All of this is happening like a movie scene in site of the outdoor wedding. Dave is hauled away, and the wedding goes in in a much more surreal tone.

Kids, don't be Dave.

It's Horrible

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Not really at the wedding because they just did a courthouse marriage but it might apply for my cousin and what will eventually be her ex husband. His entire family and all of his friends objected to them marrying. Our entire family and all of her friends objected to them marrying. A year in to the marriage, which happened after only 4 months of dating, everyone on both sides learned he'd been horribly abusive.

Mum's The Word

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In the UK at least, you have to advertise for at least 30 days prior to your wedding. You can do this up to 12 months before your wedding. If there's any reason to object it's usually done during this period. Depending on the legality of the objection, you may be called into a meeting with the registrar. Sadly, this eliminates most objections at the wedding.

That being said, a week or so before my wedding, my mum told me she didn't like my (now) wife and it's not too late to run away. I didn't listen and after her passive aggressively criticizing my wedding, I've not spoken to her since.

Why Didn't I?

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Thought about objecting during my moms wedding to my step dad. Was too big of a whimp. I should have said something.

Narrowly Escaped

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My own, I suppose I could say. She and I had been dating since we were 13.

I had gone overseas as a military contractor. and when I returned I asked her to marry me.

We spent a year planning everything.

On the day of the wedding when asked if anyone objected a guy stood up. My would be wife told him to sit back down and he proclaimed loud enough for everyone to hear that he had been with her the entire time I was away and including the time we were planning the wedding.

She then broke down and confessed that the only reason she was marrying me was that he had gotten her pregnant and he was a bum where as I at least had a job.

Left her, met a nice girl through work and am now happily married. I see her around some times, miserable as hell with him following behind her like a whipped puppy.

But Why?

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Two of my friends got married for fun. They are two girls, one of their boyfriends officiated. Yep, they went through the hassle of getting legally married JUST for the story. I objected at the wedding and they ignored me. Actually, pretty much everyone in attendance tried to object. They moved forwards with it. I'm still friends with bride #1, she didn't take offense to the objection. In fact, she liked it because she likes drama and attention. Weirdest day of my life.

Oy

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The wedding was for one of my cousins whose brother was the one getting married. This side isn't violent but the guys are big and are VERY protective of the family. The guy who objected came alone and was one of the bride's friends but really just "a guy" who's kinda just there in her group. Imagine Mexican Skipp from Napoleon Dynamite because that's what he looked like. He stands up (in the back) and starts pouring his heart out, starting with "from when we met". The cousin getting married was originally engaged years back but his fiance ran off with a guy a week before the wedding. After seeing how heartbroken his son was from that, he didn't want that to happen again and went in on the guy. Cousin and his bride said "okaaayyy, let's wrap this up" and did the marriage. The objector ended up running once he was out of the church.

Next-Best Man

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No one objected at my wedding but the best man told he was in love with me 7 weeks before the wedding. That seems like an objection to me. He dipped out of his duties and the wedding.

The Baby Got It Right

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I was 2 and carried down the aisle screaming by my grandmother. My Dad and Step-mom were getting married. When I was 14 they went through a messy divorce and she took the kids. I havent seen my 2 half sisters and youngest half brother since. Should have listened to the screaming baby.

Awkward

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The one and only wedding I've ever been to in my 20 years of life-

So I was working for a small ish law firm at the time. Originally hired for reception, ended up being more an assistant/clerk/officer of miscellaneous duties and lawyerific whims/ idk what the f*** I was but I got a $6 raise so 19 year old me was happy.

ANYWAY, this involved working pretty closely with the junior associates and I got to be pretty good working buds with one of them. She was incredibly smart and insanely hot. Like I'm 100% into men but she was sexy. This may have been the reason why the MARRIED name partner of the firm was banging her in his office every Thursday afternoon. So I learned of their affair before I found out she, too, was in a relationship. A pretty serious one. As in, she was getting married in 7 months. Eventually, I get invited and I can't say no because I have to work with her lots and it would just be terribly awkward.

Well, turns out most of the firm (including name partner she's sleeping with) was invited and I was just barely deemed cool enough to make the list.

Fab.

Fast forward to the ceremony- the officiant does the whole "does anyone have just cause for these two, _________ and _________ to not be married etc etc."

No one objects.

Great, right? Expected, right?

Wrong.

Bride-to-be. Goes. OFF. This woman absolutely LOSES it. She's screaming, cussing at someone in one of the first few rows, she starts to cry- keep in mind this woman is in her thirties.

I was seated near the back-ish so it took me a minute to see WHO she was yelling at- stand up to see- it's (u guessed it) Name Partner. This b-tch thought that they were in love and that when he saw her getting married he would come to his senses, object, and they'd ride off into the sunset where (I assume but I'm kinda catty) all of his money would be waiting. Guess who Name Partner's plus one was? His wife of course. 2 marriages were ruined that day, but my life was made

Objections?

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So, it was an accident, but...

When I was six years old, my mother re-married. My older sister and I were up at the front with them (flower girl and ring bearer or some other thing like that, I don't really remember). Before the ceremony, the Judge explained that when he asked a certain question, he would look at me and I should say " and I do".

What that response was intended for I don't recall, as it was decades ago. But I remember what I ~actually~ replied to. Much laughter ensued.

Uh Oh

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My dad & I took my older brother outside on the day of his wedding & told him he could leave. I offered to give him my car keys and the cash I had on me - about $2K. Told him we'd go in & explain to everyone. He told us he had to go through with it. He's cheated a few times, got caught once having an actual girlfriend on the side. He almost got divorced because of it. He's miserable but he's still married with two kids. He knows they're f****ed up. He confided to me (while wasted) that he wished he'd listened to us 20 years ago.

Mini Pups

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At my brother's wedding, his miniature wiener dogs were the ring bearers. Freakin adorable.

At the exact moment the officiant asked if anyone objected, our little cousins spotted the dogs. 'PUPPIES!!', they screamed and started running up to the stage. Their horrified mother caught them and took them away, but everyone had a good chuckle.

The kids were ~3 and 4, so too young to know better.

Lizard Man

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One of my friends had her father object at her wedding on account of the groom being a lizard.

The grooms finger tips are strangely large so the father determined it was because he is a lizard. Was all taken in good spirits as the father is just a natural joker and everyone knew he was joking.

So Rude

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Somewhat in reverse... my Grandmother in law to be, text me a few hours before the ceremony "we love you but in this family we do not do divorce so if you're not ready you can still back out now" or something to that effect!! Mind you I was about to marry her grandson, in the hospital, in between chemo treatments, during his second battle with leukemia... f-ck you grandma, and f-ck cancer!

Mr. Darcy, Indeed

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I didn't exactly object, but it's a good story anyway. Before I tell this story, you must know two things: First of all, my mother is from Russia and my dad is from England. When they met, my mother was fascinated by British culture and in particular, literature. She's a huge fan of Jane Austen and ritually watches Pride and Prejudice once a year. Second, my dad is from the streets of London and isn't a fan of "fancy" literature. So whenever my mum watched Pride and Prejudice my dad would poke fun at her by using the catchphrase "ho, ho, ho, Mr. Darcy indeed", which my I(as a toddler) found hilarious.

My parents were at a wedding and were stupid enough to bring me, a two year old child, with them. As you can imagine, there were many people present wearing suits and so I, confusing this situation with an Austen novel, decided to use my dad's catchphrase. Out loud. At a wedding. With a whole crowd of people present. If the couple in question are reading this, I apologise.

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.