People Who Objected During A Wedding Share The Reason That They Did It
At most normal weddings, people forever hold their peace. But given the opportunity to object to a union, how would it go? Would it be received at all? Or would it be difficult to swallow?
Redditor Tonezinator asked:
Here is what the internet had to say.
A Little Month
I objected before the wedding. The best man and I (bridesmaid) knew the bride was cheating on our friend (groom). We tried to talk him out of the wedding beforehand but they went through with it. I said I couldn't be in the wedding because I couldn't stand there and act like it was right.
The groom woke up late one month after the wedding. One month to the date exactly and found the texts of her cheating. They divorced right after that.
I was at my cousins wedding as a teen. During the part where the officiant asks "Does anyone object?" all of the groomsmen huddled up for about 10 seconds, grunted and nodded affirmingly. They went back to their standing positions and the best man gave the thumbs up.
I didn't object, but we were worried my cousin would, so we left that part out of the ceremony. Not that he had any founded fears, we just didn't want him making an a** of himself in public. Been married 20+ years now.
Don't Be Dave
Like most folks, I haven't objected at a wedding and would die of social anxiety if I did. But I met a guy who tried.
Meet Dave. Dave's an older guy, likes to hang out with the young and hip crowd, even manages a few hook ups with girls half his age. Dave dates a younger gal for a while, really likes her, but she moves on and several years down the line, is about to get married. Dave and said gal meet up for a drink, and somehow, Dave gets the impression she still loves him and wants him to make a grand gesture to "prove" his love.
Queue to a destination wedding several weeks later. Dave trailers his horse down to the wedding, with the idea that he'll walk the horse down the isle and shout "I object" and carry the girl away. Girl in question gets wind of Dave's plan, and calls the police. As Dave pulls up at the wedding and starts to get the horse out, police stop him and politely ask him to leave. Dave still really wants to prove his love, so being Dave, he starts throwing haymakers and yelling for love for the girl. All of this is happening like a movie scene in site of the outdoor wedding. Dave is hauled away, and the wedding goes in in a much more surreal tone.
Kids, don't be Dave.
Not really at the wedding because they just did a courthouse marriage but it might apply for my cousin and what will eventually be her ex husband. His entire family and all of his friends objected to them marrying. Our entire family and all of her friends objected to them marrying. A year in to the marriage, which happened after only 4 months of dating, everyone on both sides learned he'd been horribly abusive.
Mum's The Word
In the UK at least, you have to advertise for at least 30 days prior to your wedding. You can do this up to 12 months before your wedding. If there's any reason to object it's usually done during this period. Depending on the legality of the objection, you may be called into a meeting with the registrar. Sadly, this eliminates most objections at the wedding.
That being said, a week or so before my wedding, my mum told me she didn't like my (now) wife and it's not too late to run away. I didn't listen and after her passive aggressively criticizing my wedding, I've not spoken to her since.
Why Didn't I?
Thought about objecting during my moms wedding to my step dad. Was too big of a whimp. I should have said something.
My own, I suppose I could say. She and I had been dating since we were 13.
I had gone overseas as a military contractor. and when I returned I asked her to marry me.
We spent a year planning everything.
On the day of the wedding when asked if anyone objected a guy stood up. My would be wife told him to sit back down and he proclaimed loud enough for everyone to hear that he had been with her the entire time I was away and including the time we were planning the wedding.
She then broke down and confessed that the only reason she was marrying me was that he had gotten her pregnant and he was a bum where as I at least had a job.
Left her, met a nice girl through work and am now happily married. I see her around some times, miserable as hell with him following behind her like a whipped puppy.
Two of my friends got married for fun. They are two girls, one of their boyfriends officiated. Yep, they went through the hassle of getting legally married JUST for the story. I objected at the wedding and they ignored me. Actually, pretty much everyone in attendance tried to object. They moved forwards with it. I'm still friends with bride #1, she didn't take offense to the objection. In fact, she liked it because she likes drama and attention. Weirdest day of my life.
The wedding was for one of my cousins whose brother was the one getting married. This side isn't violent but the guys are big and are VERY protective of the family. The guy who objected came alone and was one of the bride's friends but really just "a guy" who's kinda just there in her group. Imagine Mexican Skipp from Napoleon Dynamite because that's what he looked like. He stands up (in the back) and starts pouring his heart out, starting with "from when we met". The cousin getting married was originally engaged years back but his fiance ran off with a guy a week before the wedding. After seeing how heartbroken his son was from that, he didn't want that to happen again and went in on the guy. Cousin and his bride said "okaaayyy, let's wrap this up" and did the marriage. The objector ended up running once he was out of the church.
No one objected at my wedding but the best man told he was in love with me 7 weeks before the wedding. That seems like an objection to me. He dipped out of his duties and the wedding.
The Baby Got It Right
I was 2 and carried down the aisle screaming by my grandmother. My Dad and Step-mom were getting married. When I was 14 they went through a messy divorce and she took the kids. I havent seen my 2 half sisters and youngest half brother since. Should have listened to the screaming baby.
The one and only wedding I've ever been to in my 20 years of life-
So I was working for a small ish law firm at the time. Originally hired for reception, ended up being more an assistant/clerk/officer of miscellaneous duties and lawyerific whims/ idk what the f*** I was but I got a $6 raise so 19 year old me was happy.
ANYWAY, this involved working pretty closely with the junior associates and I got to be pretty good working buds with one of them. She was incredibly smart and insanely hot. Like I'm 100% into men but she was sexy. This may have been the reason why the MARRIED name partner of the firm was banging her in his office every Thursday afternoon. So I learned of their affair before I found out she, too, was in a relationship. A pretty serious one. As in, she was getting married in 7 months. Eventually, I get invited and I can't say no because I have to work with her lots and it would just be terribly awkward.
Well, turns out most of the firm (including name partner she's sleeping with) was invited and I was just barely deemed cool enough to make the list.
Fast forward to the ceremony- the officiant does the whole "does anyone have just cause for these two, _________ and _________ to not be married etc etc."
No one objects.
Great, right? Expected, right?
Bride-to-be. Goes. OFF. This woman absolutely LOSES it. She's screaming, cussing at someone in one of the first few rows, she starts to cry- keep in mind this woman is in her thirties.
I was seated near the back-ish so it took me a minute to see WHO she was yelling at- stand up to see- it's (u guessed it) Name Partner. This b-tch thought that they were in love and that when he saw her getting married he would come to his senses, object, and they'd ride off into the sunset where (I assume but I'm kinda catty) all of his money would be waiting. Guess who Name Partner's plus one was? His wife of course. 2 marriages were ruined that day, but my life was made
So, it was an accident, but...
When I was six years old, my mother re-married. My older sister and I were up at the front with them (flower girl and ring bearer or some other thing like that, I don't really remember). Before the ceremony, the Judge explained that when he asked a certain question, he would look at me and I should say " and I do".
What that response was intended for I don't recall, as it was decades ago. But I remember what I ~actually~ replied to. Much laughter ensued.
My dad & I took my older brother outside on the day of his wedding & told him he could leave. I offered to give him my car keys and the cash I had on me - about $2K. Told him we'd go in & explain to everyone. He told us he had to go through with it. He's cheated a few times, got caught once having an actual girlfriend on the side. He almost got divorced because of it. He's miserable but he's still married with two kids. He knows they're f****ed up. He confided to me (while wasted) that he wished he'd listened to us 20 years ago.
At my brother's wedding, his miniature wiener dogs were the ring bearers. Freakin adorable.
At the exact moment the officiant asked if anyone objected, our little cousins spotted the dogs. 'PUPPIES!!', they screamed and started running up to the stage. Their horrified mother caught them and took them away, but everyone had a good chuckle.
The kids were ~3 and 4, so too young to know better.
One of my friends had her father object at her wedding on account of the groom being a lizard.
The grooms finger tips are strangely large so the father determined it was because he is a lizard. Was all taken in good spirits as the father is just a natural joker and everyone knew he was joking.
Somewhat in reverse... my Grandmother in law to be, text me a few hours before the ceremony "we love you but in this family we do not do divorce so if you're not ready you can still back out now" or something to that effect!! Mind you I was about to marry her grandson, in the hospital, in between chemo treatments, during his second battle with leukemia... f-ck you grandma, and f-ck cancer!
Mr. Darcy, Indeed
I didn't exactly object, but it's a good story anyway. Before I tell this story, you must know two things: First of all, my mother is from Russia and my dad is from England. When they met, my mother was fascinated by British culture and in particular, literature. She's a huge fan of Jane Austen and ritually watches Pride and Prejudice once a year. Second, my dad is from the streets of London and isn't a fan of "fancy" literature. So whenever my mum watched Pride and Prejudice my dad would poke fun at her by using the catchphrase "ho, ho, ho, Mr. Darcy indeed", which my I(as a toddler) found hilarious.
My parents were at a wedding and were stupid enough to bring me, a two year old child, with them. As you can imagine, there were many people present wearing suits and so I, confusing this situation with an Austen novel, decided to use my dad's catchphrase. Out loud. At a wedding. With a whole crowd of people present. If the couple in question are reading this, I apologise.
People hard up for cash will do anything. But what about the other way around?
There are a ton of jobs or favors that don't require much skill, experience, or labor, and people who are fortunate enough to get hired walk away with a king's ransom.
Looking for those kinds of "jobs," however, is like finding a teardrop in the ocean.
"What's the dumbest thing you were paid to do and how much were you paid?"
Good luck finding these well-paying tasks.
"Had a WFH gig working sort of as a personal assistant for a rich guy on the opposite coast from me. I did all kinds of wacky sh*t for him. For example, one time I had to break up with my boss's girlfriend because he was too wimpy to do it himself. That was literally my job."
"One day, I bought him a new pickup truck. Meaning, I negotiated the deal and paid for the truck with his credit card. All in all, I'd say the process probably took about two weeks, for which I was paid my usual wage at six hours per day. No big deal."
"Somehow, his dad found out about the new truck and he decided he wanted a new pickup truck too. He called me about a week after I bought the truck for my boss and said he'd pay me $2,000 to buy a truck for him. I called the same dealership back, spoke to the same salesman, told him what was up and basically said give me another truck, same price as before. The salesman was only too happy to comply."
"It took ten minutes to make the phone call and then a day or two to get the title and other paperwork sorted out. So, depending on how you look at it, I made $2,000 for just ten minutes worth of 'work.'"
"Somehow, my boss's rich friend found out about all this. He decided he wanted a new SUV. 'OhYeahThrowItAway, you have to buy it for me!' I told him the last time I bought someone a vehicle, I got paid $2,000. The friend was basically like F'k it, I'll pay you $3,000, just get it for me' and then he emailed me his wish list."
"That deal took a little longer, maybe two weeks."
"I made $5k extra in just two months buying vehicles for lazy (or dumb) rich people."
Staying Out Of The Picture
"I was paid $300 to move my car for a movie that was filming by my apartment."
Pack It Up
"Got paid 10k to leave an apartment because it was sold and new owner wanted to move in. I was tenant (renter) under previous owner. I had 4 months left in my rental contract. This was in Spain (Barcelona)."
"I was flown to Paris to do a compliance audit, the systems weren't set up for the audit, couldn't get access so spent the week being taken to restaurants and shopping. On 1 of the days and at the last minute the company decided to send me to London for a meeting, literally just to meet people. I missed the Eurostar because I forgot my passport (totally blanked that I was entering another country), they had to rebook the Eurostar. Nothing was achieved out of this trip. No audit was completed. Nothing came of the meeting. The cost to the company 25k+ for me to do nothing for a week. Corporate money is ridiculous money."
Not much labor was required for these so-called "jobs."
Ten-Minutes Of "Work"
"I used to work for a PR agency. Every month one of our clients wanted a handful of photos re-sized for their website; nothing fancy, just setting the width to 500px in Windows Photo Manager."
"It was maybe ten minutes of work every month, but the contract said the minimum amount of time we would charge them for was one day - and this was for the full team too, not just me. It must have cost them several hundred pounds every month."
"I showed the client how to do it several times, and explained that they could save a lot of money doing it themselves. They didn't seem to mind."
"In the end I made sure I got it in writing that I'd informed them of their options and let them get on with it."
Thank You, Goodbye
"$175 to do some kind of user study at Netflix, I show up in the lobby and then they go, 'actually we got the data we needed from the studies earlier today, you're free to go!'. Still got paid!"
"I did an event for a national association for deaf people at which they did every presentation in ASL. I am an audio engineer, who specializes in live sound and concerts. I did nothing for 5 days of show, $450 a day."
Paid To Play
"I got asked to do 2 hours of barrier watch (Guarding a barrier ribbon while a crew did x rays inside a power plant). This was asked last minute after a 12 hour shift so the bonuses of staying happening to be a Sunday, etc I was being paid $110 to stand and play on my phone and make sure sure nobody tried to pass all the DO NOT ENTER DANGER DANGER signs during a time of day with minimal personnel."
"I rented my chicken to a photographer for fifty bucks."
Gotta Have Wendy's
"I was driving for uber. Picked up a bunch of drunks at like 2 AM. They were like 'Yo we gotta grab some Wendy' I go 'I'm sorry this is my busy period' they go 'Can we bribe you?' I go 'Absolutely you can bribe me.'"
"One the guys said I'll give you $100...I was shocked it was that high, another guy said '$150' and finally his wife said 'F'k it I want Wendy $200 and we buy you Wendy too.'"
"I finally said yes, FYI I hadn't said yes yet because the reality is $20-$40 would have gotten me to stop at Wendy."
"So there I sat at Wendy as those 3 drunks bought me wendy and paid me $200."
"One time I was at this super fancy dinner party. I'm talking servers and everything, I was in a freaking tux! It was outside and catered by a professional bbq company. I mean these guys had won international competitions. Well get this, they were double booked and didn't show. The other servers didn't know how to grill, and this totally smokin server in her 30s is just staring at the grill like a deer in the headlights. Well I don't want to be a hero but I ask if I can help. The entire staff spend the rest of the night bringing me drinks as I make this bbq and NOBODY realizes the award winning chefs didn't show up!"
Where Do We Apply?
"Ok this wasn't a job or anything.... But I got 10$ to eat half a watermelon."
Some opportunities present themselves.
When I was a kid, I hung out at a Japanese summer festival booth where you roll a bowling ball on a track that had two hills. The objective was to push the ball hard enough to get it over the first hill but not too hard to get it over the second hill.
I was fascinated with the challenge and stayed there for a long time as my parents were over by the food booths with their friends.
It was a slow day, and the dude working the booth wanted to peace out for a bit, so he offered to pay me $50 to "hang out" in his stead.
Of course, I said "sure."
No one ever came, and I earned fifty bucks rolling bowling balls for an hour. Was it the dumbest thing I ever did for money? Maybe, but I laughed all the way to the piggy bank that day.
That guy really must have despised his post enough to give a twelve-year-old kid $50.
Everyone talks about how the 20s are supposed to be the time of our lives. And that's largely true. But it's not all wine and roses.
Among all the freedom and youthful exuberance, so many people spend that decade struggling through the chaos of having absolutely no idea what their passion is.
And when we've internalized the desire to find an occupation that aligns with our values, sounds cool to talk about, and provides us with existential fulfillment, it can be difficult to identify the perfect fit.
So we hum along rather aimlessly.
Thankfully, some people do find their vocation and hunker down. But for others, it takes a little longer.
Perhaps struggling to locate that ideal passion, Redditor wibly_wobly_kid asked:
"People who discovered their passion at a later stage of life, what is it and how did you figure it out?"
Many people talked about making a career switch when they least expected. For the longest time, they new they didn't enjoy their work, but they didn't know what to do instead.
Hiding In Plain Sight
"I went to college twice in my early 20s for journalism and communications, but never graduated. I spent the rest of my 20s in a dead end food service job, miserable and angry at myself. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life"
"My extended family has lots of little ones (cousins having cousins) and every time there was a family get together, I always found myself playing with and entertaining the kids. One day, my uncle pointed out how good I was with kids, and did I ever consider working with them? I laughed it off but later thought 'hey, I have nothing better going on. What's the harm in researching a bit?' "
"I found out I could become an early childhood educator, working in daycares or kindergarten classes. So I applied to a couple of colleges and got in right away (applied on a Monday and got accepted the Friday). I quit my dead-end job and focused entirely on school. I made the dean's list all 4 semesters (something I have never done), and aced all my classes."
"I had a placement at a daycare/before and after school card place, and they hired me right after I finished my placement. So now I'm working there and happier than I ever was in my 20s"
Never Too Late
"Law. I was 45 when I went back to school. I'd worked blue collar jobs all my life, was a high school dropout. My daughter started taking paralegal classes and I thought, 'I could do that.' "
"So I got my GED and signed up for a 2-year paralegal certificate program through the local community college. Fell in love with law. Also discovered I was good at it. I had several professors who were lawyers tell me I'd be wasted as a paralegal and should go to law school."
"So I transferred to a 4-year school. Worked full time through undergrad and graduated with honors. Got into law school. I graduated law school at 55, oldest in my class. But I'd gone from being a high school dropout to a lawyer in just 10 years."
"Passed the California bar first try and I've been a public defender ever since, which is the only thing I ever wanted to do with it. I'm 60 now but I'm healthy and energetic and have a lot of years left. I love what I do, I'm very good at it, and it's the best move I ever made."
Every Week an Achievement
"Was 39 when I took a temp job in a social services type industry. Just basic stuff."
"Realised after a couple of years that I'd circled back to my idealistic 17yo self's plan for my career. Spent the previous 20 working sh** jobs I hated."
"Turns out it's really important to do something that aligns with your values. Finish the week feeling like I've contributed to society, rather than working to screw people for money."
Others discussed the passions they've discovered outside of their working life. These won't bring home any income, but their importance to life satisfaction cannot be understated.
"My dad discovered his life's biggest passion at 67. Mountain climbing. Serious mountaineering."
"He climbed Kilimanjaro and Whitney just months apart."
Plenty More Shredding In Store
"I started Rollerskating (on ramps) just before I turned 40 , it's never too late to start, you just need more safety gear :)"
"I've been doing it for years now I'm in my mid 40s and still rollin. It makes me a bit sad I didn't start when I was younger, but I reckon i've got another ten years left in me."
Moving the Needle On Women's Pockets
"Sewing/tailoring clothes. On a whim I took a class at a local community center and got hooked. After learning some basics in the class and following some YouTube videos I can make a passable pair of pants/trousers and basic shirts. I'm lucky that my local library had sewing machines you could check out so I didn't need to commit any real money early on."
"The best thing to come out of learning this new skill was making a pair of pants with actual pockets for my wife. Guys, you have not seen joy until you see your wife get a pair of functional custom pants with human-sized pockets. I thought her head was going to explode she was so happy."
Keep an Ear Out for Jingles
"I always wanted to learn an instrument that wasn't academic related."
"Over COVID lockdown I picked up the guitar."
"I picked it up pretty quick. So I learned the drums."
"Now I'm finishing building a music studio. I wanna write commercial jingles and just throw a bunch of sh** online for fun"
Unexpected, But Sounds Awesome
"I'm 31, but one year ago I discovered camels. Now I own three. I love them 🥰" -- ZhenHen
"I assume you are not talking about cigarettes, so how does one acquire not only one but three camels? Where do you live? How much did they cost? I'm very intrigued." -- dufresne90
"When you're into camels, every day is Hump Day." -- HolIerer
And a few put a finer point on the nature of that work vs. hobbies dynamic. They assured that one's professional career doesn't necessarily have to provide all the fulfillment they're looking for.
Sometimes, we just need to punch the clock.
Earning Free Time
"PSA: you don't have to be passionate about your job. Your passion can be a hobby you do in your free time. I don't think I will ever find a vocational passion."
"Used to think I was broken because of that but really there is no requirement to be head over heels about what puts money on the table and food in the pocket!"
Career's Moving, Still Painting
"Late 40s here. Got a book called Learn to Draw in 30 Days about 4 years ago. Then about 3 years ago I heard about #the100daychallenge where the goal is to create art every day for 100 days. I never stopped and made it a goal to hit 1000 days."
"In that time, I won contests, got about two hundred commissions, raised over $5000 for a charity, and had a great time. When I hit the 1000 days back in December, I decided to go back to college and get an art degree. I signed up for classes and talked with my manager at work to see how much they would pay for college, she was excited that I was going to get a business degree and said she'd work on getting all of the classes covered."
"Free college became too tempting to pass up so now I'm planning on getting the business degree and then on to law school because they'll pay for that too. I just finished my first semester with a 4.0 and I'm on day 1136 of my non-stop painting journey."
So if you're still looking around for your passion and feeling discouraged, rest assured that it might come your way when you least expect it.
And life is long, my friends.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Don't disturb my beauty sleep! That's the one rule I have––and thankfully I live alone, so there isn't anyone to bother me, which is fabulous. But that doesn't mean I'm immune to getting woken up in the middle of the night. The worst way I can think of off the top of my head? The time a drunk guy wandered into my friend's yard and started banging on the window while I was trying to sleep. It was 3 a.m. The incident also gave me the fright of my life!
People told us about the experiences that yanked them out of dreamland after Redditor GratefulD_86 asked the online community,
"What is the worst way you've been woken up?"
"By raw sewage pouring through my ceiling (in my bedroom) from my upstairs neighbor.
He partied and ripped the toilet out of the floor, then continued using it. Took maintenance almost 16 hours to show up and turn off the flow."
"I literally didn't even know..."
"Cops beating on my door to search my house for someone I was hiding. I literally didn't even know the person."
Terrifying. This could have ended very badly.
"Cops busted down my door..."
"Cops busted down my door to take me to jail for having meth except. They had the wrong house."
"Neighbor decided to hang shelves in her bathroom after midnight and drilled into our shared wall. Scared the crap out of me."
The walls do indeed have ears.
"The phone woke me up..."
"The phone woke me up a little after midnight. I was informed that my mother had died. It was not totally unexpected. Her health had been declining.
I still dread hearing the phone ring late at night."
"A cockroach entering my mouth on my first day of camp."
"Police department knocking..."
"Police department knocking on my door at 2 a.m. saying the meth lab across the street might blow up so we needed to get out ASAP."
Is this a deleted episode of Breaking Bad?
"My cats were chasing each other..."
"My cats were chasing each other and one ran across my face while I was sleeping. The scratches were pretty bad all across one side of my face. It was the day before my senior prom too, so I ended up having a scratched-up face for that. I still have a scar right by my eye."
Cats are always at their most unpredictable very late at night!
"My Dad would keep a bag of marbles in the freezer. If you didn't wake up the first time, he dumped them into your bed."
"The neighbor in the building across from us..."
"Glass shattering. Lived in a 6 story apartment building. The neighbor in the building across from us was having some kind of psychotic break and was throwing everything he could get his hands on off his balcony. He was aiming for the windows of other apartments. We were far enough away to not get hit but watching that go down was not super fun."
We don't envy anyone of these people. Hopefully their lives have been filled with plenty of glorious, uninterrupted sleep since.
Have some of your own stories? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
I love food! Maybe a little too much. It's been an especially amorous relationship over this pandemic. And I know I'm not alone.
All of our palettes are tuned to our own personal tastes. And sometimes certain items and combinations of tastes can leave others less than enticed.
I've lost track of all the side-eye I've gotten when I declare how much I enjoy PINEAPPLE on pizza. I said it. I meant it. Fight me. Let's discuss who else has eclectic tastes.
Redditor u/CatVideoFest wanted to discuss the mixing of certain ingredients that don't leave the best taste in one's mouth by asking:
Food is for survival. That was the plan. But over the years it has become somewhat of a way of life. Some of the most annoying people are foodies. They get so uppity about the preferences of others. Like, let me just enjoy what I enjoy.
Mom No!Mom Smile GIFGiphy
"I don't like my mom's cooking."
"Livestock have refused to eat my mother's cooking. She's a terror in the kitchen."
Take them OUT!!
"I hate walnuts in baked goods. It tastes like wood shavings and completely ruins the flavor."
"I love walnuts but I feel this way about raisins in baked goods, raisins are fine by themselves but not in sweets, I once ordered cinnamon rolls at Hardee's and bit into it and found out there were raisins in it, and I was grossed out and didn't want to eat it. At least freakin' McDonald's serves real cinnamon rolls without freakn' raisins!"
The Fart Ingredient
"I don't like kidney beans except in chili."
Oh thew Crunch...
"Pickles and onion make the best sandwich. I make most of my own pickles from stuff I grow or get from local farms in the fall, but I responded to another comment with two different heinous concoctions I enjoy. Crunchy, salty, sour. I really like pickles and onions to begin with."
"I use more than pickled cucumber though. Like the last one I made, I used garlic naan, mayo, red onion, scallions, pickled garlic, green olives, Kalamata olives, garlic dill cucumber, and green beans. Shallot, sour pickled onion, sweet pickled cucumbers, and sushi ginger on sprouted 14 grain bread is also also a favorite of mine."
No Sizzlebacon GIFGiphy
"I do not like bacon."
Who doesn't like bacon? That seems like a sacrilege. Right? But to each their own. Though I will never understand not loving walnuts in comfort food. Y'all need more self love.
Love the Big M
"Fast food tastes amazing, yeah its unhealthy as hell but don't you sit there and lie and say it tastes bad."
Blasphemy!golden girls flirting GIF by HULUGiphy
"Cheesecake is disgusting."
Too Many Legs
"Lobsters and crabs are giant insects."
"I don't really think that's that controversial, in my area of the world we even call this creature a 'Moreton Bay Bug' even though some fisheries try to give it the more appealing name of 'flathead lobster'."
"Boneless wings are vastly superior to bone-in wings. I think bone-in wings are a ripoff because when you get half a pound of them, part of that half-pound is inedible. It's like if you ordered a quarter-pound cheeseburger, but the restaurant considers the weight of the plate to be part of that quarter-pound and you end up with just a slider. Just give me some damn meat."
The Slimeman oyster GIFGiphy
"Oysters are truly disgusting and absurdly overpriced for quarter sized pieces of snot that tastes like salt water and hot sauce."
Ok, I'm trying to stay calm. I don't want to judge. But some of these opinions... are leaving me shook. Except the oysters. That is that work of the devil. Look away...
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.