How often do you curse? If rarely, have you ever caught someone off-guard by swearing unexpectedly? It's fun.

jhfridhem asked Redditors who rarely swear: What's a situation that made you swear and how did other people react?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


Mom was shocked? Really?

I was playing baseball and I wasn't paying attention. I turned around and got hit directly in the stomach with a ground ball. It scared me more than anything and I yelled "sh*t." My mom heard and she was so surprised she proceeded to tell me (15 at the time) that she never expected me to know that word.

SantaClaws004

How can anyone expect a 15 year old not to know what sh*t means?

TheCygnusLoop

And better yet: she had never heard me say "damn" before either and didn't think I would say that either.

SantaClaws004

These things happen.

Work was really going sideways, molten metal everywhere. My coworkers and boss heard me swear for the first time around them. They had to pause for a second to register what was said. Got the metal cleaned up, no injury, relatively minor damage to equipment.

scalu99

I picture people who work around molten metal to ONLY use curse words.

indieRuckus

Fuzzy egg? Gross.

I never sweat at work, but I loudly said "what the f*ck" when my manager pulled a boiled egg out of her pocket the other day.

Hamton52

So, the million dollar question: why did your manager have a boiled egg in her pocket?

majesticcoolestto

And just as important, was it peeled or not?

Morninglow

Snack I think, and unpeeled.

Hamton52

How dare you have feelings!

When I was a kid, like 13-14, I wrote a profanity laden journal entry complaining about my stepdad--nothing serious, just whiny teenager stuff. I left it open in the living room (totally my mistake) and my mom saw it. She was SHOCKED.

I apologized and all, was forgiven, grew out of being a whiny teenager, and everything was fine, except she kept bringing it up. Like 10 years after the fact she was still bringing it up! I finally had a talk with her that it was upsetting me to constantly hear about this stupid mistake of mine and I don't write stuff like that anymore and please let it go.

She did. Haven't heard about it since, thank God.

LampGrass

That's such an annoying parent thing to do. I find everyone has a driving story from when they were 16 and their parents still think they suck at whatever they did like 7 years later.

cronin98

Everybody gets one.

I never swear in front of my family, and I've spent most of my adult life convincing them I don't swear. Until I was baking some cookies, touched the hot baking pan, dropped the entire batch of cookies, and cursed the sh*t out of my luck.

They just laughed.

housegoat73

Once my sister and I moved out of my parents' house for college, my dad started swearing more, but it's still very tame by my standards. Mostly just exclamations of "sh*t" when he accidentally burns himself. And he used to say "jerk," but now he says "A-hole" (not "assh*le). My mom complains about his language, but meanwhile, I'm over here pretending to be an angel while cursing out anything that's a mild annoyance to me in my head...

talonofdrangor

Similar situation to me, but even further. My dad rarely swore outside of the occasional jackass when complaining about someone or sh*t when he hurt himself, but now that I'm out, he casually drops f*ck and the works in our conversation. I like it a lot because I swear like a sailor.

xX3L1T3Sn1P3zxX

Worth the wait.

I had never heard my Grandfather swear in my entire life. He was deeply Catholic and and wouldn't say sh*t if his mouth was full of it. We were walking down the aisle of a grocery store and he looked at a sign that had these really nice tenderloins on sale.

"$4 tenderloins?? Slap my ass and call me Suzy -- what a deal!"

I couldn't believe what I had just heard. Coolest guy I ever knew.

Jay_1327

If there's anything that gets a Catholic grandfather excited enough to swear, it's steak on sale.

LittleZbot

Oh the humanity.

My roommate gasped in surprise when I was playing a video game and said that his movement "got his ass killed." He still hasn't gotten over it even though that was two weeks ago

PantherFin

Ass? That's it?

Spudtron98

Shows you how much I actually don't curse. Ass is pretty bad as far as my language goes

PantherFin

Kids...

I coach high school soccer. Swearing, if you only do it occasionally, will get the boys' attention instantly and let them know that I'm pissed (even if I'm really not) and that they need to focus and get their sh*t together.

Rilo17

I've heard that in WW1 or WW2, many soldiers had the opposite reaction.

"Go get your f*cking gear" was normal. "Go get your gear" meant shit was about to get scary.

trabbaro

This was my life in the military, albeit just with discipline.

When Top was shrieking at the top of his lungs and swearing up a storm, it was business as usual. When he was quiet / professional, we were in deeeeeeeep sh*t.

POGtastic

Prepping for life.

When I was 5, I was playing with my cars and talking to myself and I said something like, "damn traffic." I instantly felt really guilty and ended up crying and telling my mom about it. She just laughed.

jadofo6

Just the picture of a five year old: -glasses -newspaper -a coffee -watching the news And just ready to not go to work because of hearing about traffic on the news.

JakeK9999999

Lmao, this is so wholesome.

Luftwafflez4Brekfast

Justified.

I 100% don't cuss at work unless I'm injured. Burned my hand once and gave my coworker a heart attack when I said sh*t. Thankfully it wasn't that bad.

Then on Friday I sliced my finger on a meat slicer pretty badly. Boss just heard me say f*ck when he asked how bad it was and sent me straight to the office to deal with workman's comp. usually they're supposed to at least look at the damage but no one wanted too after they heard me cuss because they knew it would be bad. Ended up needing 5 stitches. =/ it still hurts like hell and I can't really use my hand much for 10 days before they're taken out. But at least I was taken seriously because of the cursing!

prongslover77

Sounds like you need a new job mate, you're slowly killing yourself

gangalang69

It's just a kitchen. A few minor accidents in the 3 years I've been there. But I am saving up to go back to school (working too much which is why I hurt myself I'm guessing) but I'll be all ready to cut hours and start school next semester. Then it's the teachers life for me!

prongslover77

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