People Who Live In Seclusion Share The Creepiest Things They've Witnessed
Not a lot of people like to be alone. That may be why podcasts are all the rage right now. Having voices in your ear all day is comforting for those with long commutes or who work at home. But, there are people who enjoy the solitude, like camping, or are forced to serve in lonesome situations, like if you're in the Navy on a submarine. Many of these people took to Reddit to answer user, r/EndlessRunaway, who asked:
Redditors who spend a lot of time in seclusion (at sea, in the air or out in the wilderness) what's the creepiest or most mysterious thing you've seen, found or experienced?
Most Dangerous Game
On a two week solo backpacking trip I had four days in seclusion between Ranger Station check ins. On the first day of the seclusion; I felt like I was being stalked. As I lay in my tent that night I could hear what sounded to me like footsteps around my camp but never coming too close. In the morning I checked all around and found no evidence of footprints or having any wild life around me. I broke down camp and took off trying to put it behind me.
The second night was the same thing. I grew so paranoid that when I would hike during the day I would go over rocks, walk through streams; anything to try and break the trail so I couldn't be tracked. I'd go around a blind turn and than sit there for an hour waiting to see if something would come behind. At night I couldn't sleep for more than 10/15 minutes before waking up.
Finally I got to the Ranger Station check in and told them what I had been experiencing. I went and set up camp as close to the station as I could. Later the Rangers; they offered for me to sleep on their couch for comfort and so I could actually sleep. I accepted and stayed the night indoors.
I walked out to my camp in the morning and it had been destroyed. My tent was cut on the side, sleeping bag ripped and backpack turned inside out. The Rangers came and reported it; took pictures and everything. I ended up getting one of the Rangers to give me a ride back to base camp and going home the next day.
While on deployment my ship found a ship adrift off the coast of Australia. As an engineer trained for vbss I was tasked with assessing the ships mechanical status on boarding.
It was deserted. Fish in the hold and stuff set out like people were just there. There was food on the galley area that was still warm, etc.
We never found the crew so we towed the boat in for the authorities.
Absolutely scared the f--- out of people and those who didn't board the ship didn't believe us when we were telling them about the state of it.
Not The Men In Black You Wanted
My fiance and I went hiking up a mountain in the Pacific Northwest last summer. It's perpetually muddy due to a large number of waterfalls along the sides of the trail, so there's no way you can avoid getting at least a little dirty.
Around an hour and a half up the trail, we passed two men wearing black suits, black hats, black glasses, holding black leather briefcases and wearing black dress shoes. Completely clean dress shoes. And immaculately clean, pressed pants. Not a spot of dirt or a wrinkle on either of their clothes.
As we passed each other, one of them whispered something in German. I looked back at them and they were both standing still and looking back at us, staring.
One of the creepiest things that has ever happened to me, and I've had my fair share of strange experiences!
Sometimes The Cold War Was A Bit Warmer For Everyone Else
Hearing the faint sonar pings from the Russian subs in the middle of the night out in the Baltic Sea
Commander! Target That Floating Plant
I was never really in seclusion, but I was a US Navy submariner. One time through the periscope, I saw a potted plant on a plank floating in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, several hundred miles from the nearest land.
Are You Sure It Wasn't Bigfoot?
I was in a remote area surveying populations of various organisms in mountain streams. One morning an older man crossed the stream I was standing in. We both froze for a second and he continued on his way.
He didn't have any gear with him and it's a 15-20 mile hike from the nearest (dirt) road. My point is he wasn't just casually wandering through.
Keep Your Cool Around The Cartel
So I worked at a ranch in southern Arizona, right on the border. I didn't really consider it to be secluded because I had horses and cows. In hindsight, I guess it was really lonely because sometimes they'd talk back to me.
Anyways, doing fence borders with a guy from another camp and we had to go down into this dry river bed. As we round the bend we see a bunch of beat up trucks sitting there armed to the teeth. Turns out we ran into some kind of big deal for a cartel. The other guy told me to keep steady and we just walked straight through them on our horses. Everyone staring at us, looking like they were ready to shoot us up if we made one false move.
I asked about it when we got to the other side without turning into swiss cheese and the more experienced rancher told me: "The Cartel only cares about Border Patrol and Cops. They know this is a ranch, and they know we roam around here, and they know we don't say much." Reason being, if they ever assumed the ranchers were the snitches, they could easily find our little ranch houses. Only had 1 person to so many acres. Could have been offed and left there for many days before someone noticed. With all that in mind, I had a very passive relationship with those kind from then on.
What's That In The Ocean?
I was on a the bow of a sailboat crossing the Atlantic in pretty heavy winds, going about 15 knots. Crew had to be stationed alone on the bow in two hour shifts at all times, keeping an eye out for anything in the water. About 10 meters away from me I see a weird glint in the water. Then I realize it's a partially submerged shipping container. Before I had time to even open my mouth, we passed it by, missing it by a few feet.
And that's the story of how I nearly got shipwrecked in a storm in the middle of the Atlantic ocean.
The Biggest Cat You've Ever Seen
When I was a scout in Iraq, I was setting up a concealed observation post when we saw the largest cat through our thermals. Like Lion/Cheetah/Leopard (the thermals were fuzzy, but we could identify size based on distance with the laser range finder)
The thing is all three of those animals used to live in Iraq - but they have been LONG since extinct in the area.
Former 68W with 3 combat tours, I might be able to explain this for you.
During Saddam's reign him and his friends were crazy wealthy. Like richer than God wealthy. Often times they'd be so wealthy they'd start running out of expensive s--- to buy. Seems like once they had the big houses and fancy cars they'd just buy crazy s--- like gold toilets (seen it), gold guns (also seen it) and even sometimes large animals of prey (vultures, falcons, tigers etc).
The thing is, when Saddam fell, so did a lot of his friends. I've heard stories of the house staff of a lot of these people not wanting the animals to be killed when looters ransacked the estates of the uber wealthy. Instead they'd release the animals. I guess they thought the animals had a better chance of survival on their own.
That's what we were told by our 1st Sergeant(he could've been f---in w us) Still crazy.
It's Your Best Beaver Friend
While out fishing i became good friends with a fat beaver. He chilled next to me while i fished for about 2 hours. Just watching me cast and catch fish. We watched an osprey dive into the lake and get a bass which was an amazing moment. When the sun started setting he sauntered back into the lake and we went our separate ways. The best fishing experience i had so far.
Learn The Lesson: Never Get Out Of The Car
Driving through the middle of Montana one night, going about 100mph, passed something on the side of the interstate that looks like a mangled body. Turned around at the next pass, came back. Definitely a body. Put my lights on it and tried to call 911 on my cell. No reception. Got in the car to see if i could pick up cell reception (lights were still on)...nothing there but the blood splatters. Drove away QUICK
Roll Em' Up!
Several years ago I was fly fishing in late February and stumbled on two guys disposing of a human body. The ground was still frozen so they opted to hide the body in a drainage pipe at the base of a dam. Needless to say I did a complete 180 turn while muttered something to myself like, " Jesus is it cold! Impossible to fish in these conditions." And made a somewhat chaotic bee line back to my car. When I looked back I could see them peeking out from behind a tree, so I followed the imortal words of Saint Clark W. Griswold and, " Rolled em up."
A few weeks later I saw those same familiar faces, but this time under a news headline saying that they had been charged with murder.
Asleep At The Mast
On a small sailing boat in the Pacific, sailing south from Panama to Ecuador in the middle of the night. Two people on deck -- the helmsman and me, theoretically on lookout but really just there to keep the helmsman awake. It's well after midnight and we're away from major shipping lanes...
...And then I see a light off the port bow. It's far off and distant and under the sail, and therefore hard to keep track of, but it's there. It isn't moving. And it seems to flicker and dim but gradually I become aware it's getting a little brighter, bit by bit. And then I realise it's a boat, and it's coming right for us, and by this time I can hear the engine and I yell to the helmsman: "Hard a-port."...
...So we steer to the left, and the oncoming boat passes on the starboard bow. It's less than 10 metres away, a big RIB with a massive outboard engine at the back traveling at full throttle. There's enough light from the moon and our running lights to see that there's only one person aboard, slumped upright over the steering column, and a load of fishing equipment in the back. Then it's gone into the night, still travelling straight at maximum speed.
This was over ten years ago. To this day I have no idea if that midnight fisherman was alive or dead, if he'd fallen asleep at the wheel or suffered a sudden heart attack or what...
...I still wonder sometimes.
Best Pickup System, Ever
I went on a two and a half week long hike in the middle of nowhere Nevada. Like a couple of hours from even the smallest of towns. One night, I decided to set up camp on a ridge line overlooking a valley with a dirt road bisecting it.
Most nights I would've had a small fire, but it was breezy and was cutting across the ridge pretty hard. I think the weather saved my life.
At about 10pm, a truck drove down the road and there was a rhythmic pattern of "door opens, dome light comes on, driver grabs something from the passenger floorboard, drops it out of the truck, closes the door, drives slowly for 20 seconds, and repeats." He did that for what looked like a mile. I thought it was weird, but whatever. 15 minutes later, a different vehicle, a suburban, drive up along the road. The driver was holding a flashlight out the window and stopped in the same spots the truck did. Open door. Pick up something. Close door. Drive. Open door. Pick up something. Drive.
I don't know what the f--- it was, but I'm convinced that I would've ended up with a couple more bullets in me than I'd like, if I had that camp fire.
Check In To The Taxidermy Hotel
I was living in a dirt floor cabin for about 6 months. I would pack a lunch and hike out half a day in random directions. One day I found an abandoned hotel with an attic full of bats. The old kitchen was full of taxidermy.
Not abandoned old taxidermy...current taxidermy, in various states of finish.
There was a closet with stacks of dead birds, tools, woodworking tools and glass for the display cases, etc. I noped out of there in a hurry. I took my brother there later because he didn't believe me...so I have a witness.
Bambi's A Creep?
I was 13 and on a week long camping trip. There were two adults and five other kids my age. One night we had spent all day kayaking and got caught in a deluge that threw off our whole schedule for the day. We couldn't quite make it to the location where we were supposed set up camp for the night before sunset so we just settled a few meters off of the river. We were so exhausted that the adults didn't even want to build a fire. Since we didn't have much light and it was hot they told us that we didn't have to build our shelters we could just lay out in our sleeping bags.
Everyone put their sleeping bags near a clearing that was created by a fell tree. But I saw the hole created by the roots and thought that there were possible creepy crawlies living in it. So I set my sleeping bag a little further back about four meters away from the clearing. I woke up a few hours later to these rapid clicking sounds and sniffing. (Thanks to the Internet I later identified it as deer noises.) There were a bunch of them. The clicking grew closer and was surrounded me on all sides. I had my flashlight but I didn't want to shine it because I was afraid to scare the deer/creatures because I thought they would trample me.
The most vocal deer then stepped on my sleeping bag and eventually sat down on it. I could hear the other deer get comfortable too. After a while I allow myself to peak out (not wearing my glasses) and I see maybe 15 deer/creatures all just watching the other campers. After several hours I fell asleep and woke back up as they were leaving at sunrise.
It was wholesome/creepy.
Check Your Watches
Three of us were sitting around a campfire on a bluff overlooking Bell Lake in Killarney Provincial Park, when suddenly there was a blinding flash that lit up the entire sky. We were stunned. After several moments of silence, one guy said, "everyone check your watches." To this day, none of us have any idea what that flash was, but we all saw it, and it freaked us out pretty good.
Finding A Gruesome Surprise
So, I rode my horse the ~2 miles through the deep woods to get to this house, which is itself probably 1000 feet from a lonely gravel road that cuts through the forest. It is very secluded and almost creepy. The house is about 3 miles from a paved road.
I am less brave than I used to be, so when I entered the house I felt out-of-place and slightly scared. But I used my cell phone light to explore the rooms anyway. A lot was just as I remembered, but right as I was about to leave, I found a calf skeleton in the corner of the entry room.
I have no idea how this calf got shut up inside the building. The doors were firmly shut when I approached it. Also, the screen door opened one way, while the actual door opened the other, so that it was impossible for both to be open at once for some creature to accidentally wander in. Furthermore, the nearest cow pastures are a good bit away from the house.
I left the abandoned house with the image in my head of some deviant cruelly trapping a calf in there for sick purposes.
Stalked By Ronald
This happened once while camping with my then-fiance and a friend of ours. Camped out in the woods in the middle of nowhere on a hot July day. Night came, and it was a full moon so around midnight we decided we'd take a hike around for fun. We basically hiked a trail for a bit and then turned around and hiked it back to the campsite. When we were almost back, we saw a McDonalds cup sitting at the edge of the path. I found this strange as I didn't see the bright red and yellow container when we began the venture, but whatever. However, my buddy decided to open the cup up and found ice cubes at the bottom.
That day was easily 90+F and at night it was still in the high 70's, so that ice would not have lasted long. Somebody was definitely out there by us and we never found another sign of them. No sound of a car, walking or rustling - nothing.
We decided to pack up and go home that night.
It's Your Best Wolf Bro
More mysterious than creepy. We were camping in Montana near Yellowstone park in a small campground. It was the off season and there were maybe 5 other people there, including a couple 3-4 spots down who had a large dog with them in their RV. I walked by and the dog was friendly so I petted it and talked to it and went on my way.
Later that night I am sitting watching the sun set and reading on my Kindle when a cold nose bumps up under my arm, like dog does when it wants attention. I figured it was the dog and started scratching its head. Before i could look around, my friend came around the corner and froze with a look of fright on his face. I was scratching the head of a pretty big grey wolf. I had no idea what to do, I didnt want to keep touching it but I didnt want to stop and piss it off either. I scratched for maybe 5-10 more seconds and it just looked at me like "Thanks, bro" and walked off into the woods. We went to a hotel that night...
And The Winner...
I live in the only house down a country road, everything else is pasture land and National Forest for several miles.
About 3am, my three large dogs go absolutely nuts barking, which sends my husband and i flying out of bed to check on our livestock, assuming coyotes were in the yard.
Before we could even get our shoes on, we hear muttering on our front porch. He grabs his rifle and whoever it is starts knocking on the door, with no real urgency but more like a casual visitor. I had my cellphone already dialing the cops, and my husband slid up to the peephole. A woman right around her late 20s-early 30s was standing outside, patiently waiting a few minutes and gently knocking on the door, not fidgeting or nervous, not being aggressive.
My husband said, "Ma'am, the cops are on the way. If you need help, they'll be here in just a few minutes and you're welcome to sit on the swing right there and wait on them, but if there's anyone with you, we are armed in here and will not hesitate to shoot if anyone tries getting into this house."
He said she kind of smiled, not creepy but like she was glad her knocking woke someone up. "That's okay, sir-i just wanted to let you know the thing in the woods is coming, and he'll be here soon. Good luck."
He said she turned around and walked down the driveway like she hadn't a care in the world. The cops looked all over the place and couldn't find her. It's a ten minute drive to our driveway from the main road, with no houses until you get into town, another 20 minutes away. Freaked me out for weeks.
Cities. Those things we live in.
What city would you never, ever, EVER live in?
These places, while inhabited by a good number of people, aren't exactly the kind of spots you would want to go back to on a repeat visit.
Transformed Into Something Unsettling
"For me, it's Mecca. It's beautiful, but it's just not for an openly gay Western dude like me."
"Same with Tehran."
"Im surprised you think Mecca is beautiful lol. I, along with almost every Muslim I know, hates what has happened to that place. The skyscrapers are extremely ugly (especially that goddam clock tower) and overshadow the beauty of the mosque. Almost all historical sites are gone except for the Kabah. I know they need infrastructure to handle all the people but they did it in the worst way possible."
"Mecca like almost every other Arabian city has turned into places for rich Saudis to show their wealth and almost nothing else."
"Irvington, NJ - My friend told me to run through every red light and not stop at any cost after I dropped her off at her apartment. Her wise words phased me as I stopped at the first red light. 3 seconds later a huge motherf-cker with a crowbar starts heading in my direction. 3 red lights all while screaming toward McCarter Highway."
"The following week my car was stolen while I was attending classes in Newark and they used my car to rob a liquor store in Irvington, NJ. Literally only owned my car for 2 weeks."
"F-ck Irvington, NJ."
The Literal Fast And The Furious
"Cairo, Egypt. 19 million people, 23 million cars, no stoplights. On a 3 lane road, you have 5 lanes of traffic, left shoulder, straddling first white line, middle lane, straddling 2nd white line, and right shoulder! When we visited, our tour guide told us we needed 3 things to drive there…"good brakes, good horns & good nerves!"
Cars are bumper to bumper, and then people are crossing the street in between the cars, walking, in wheelchairs, pushing baby strollers! Then along beside our bus, comes someone riding a donkey! Crazy. Soldiers with machine guns on the street corners, we even had an armed guard on our tour bus."
Then there are some cities, some you might never have visited, which have generated enough discussion and gotten enough publicity to be actively awful in your mind. You don't have to have gone there to know you never want to be there.
A Place To Skip Completely
"Mumbai. Even if I was financially secure, I couldn't stand seeing all the poverty and squalor all the time. It would weigh on me."
"A friend of a friend spent six months riding his motorcycle from London to Chennai. He recorded everything in his journal in excruciating detail except for Mumbai. There was only one sentence about Mumbai. It was about driving around Mumbai. He did everything you could imagine on the way, but decided to skip Mumbai completely."
Not All Of It. Just Some Of It.
"Paris. I used to hate all French people because of my experiences there, and then I met one who explained that there's basically two Frances; Paris and everywhere else, and then we bonded over bad mouthing the place and now my antipathy is more precise."
It's All In The Family
"LA, if you want half quality people, air, and living for double the price and problems, it might be for you"
"I have friends who live in LA, and swear it's awesome. But they actually live in Rancho Palos Verdes, in their parent's mansions."
And then there's cities like these.
Cities so bad an introduction isn't required.
What's Your Excuse?
"The Simpsons summed it up perfectly: "We were born here, what's your excuse?"
"I can laugh at this because I'm from Thunder Bay"
Booze. Sex. Sin. All The Best Family Values.
"Las Vegas. Fun to visit, but not where I'd want to raise my family."
"I think my first realization that people grow up and live in Las Vegas was at 16 or so when watching Criminal Minds and hearing that Spencer Reid grew up there. It was that record scratch moment. Wait, people LIVE IN and raise their babies in the city of sex, sin, and gambling? I felt stupid, of course, upon realizing that all the casino workers and strippers have to live somewhere, and might fall in love, and might marry and have kids."
"And then I had a second life-changing revelation when I realized people probably feel the exact same way about my home city, Miami. I was raised there and lived there for 2 decades. A lot of people have no concept of Miami outside TV and probably think my parents are horrible people who raised me in a den of yachts, Pitbull, cocaine, dirty money, bad boob jobs, and spring breakers. Meanwhile I actually lived in a very normal and boring suburb."
A Slow Decline Over Time
"Gary Indiana. Went through there when heading to O'hare & was not impressed. heard multiple gunshots when driving through."
"So I literally learned about Gary, Indiana from these threads where it always pops up as one of the worst places to live or be. Could you explain why it is so sh-tty?"
"Long story made short, Gary was a good place to live. Nice paying steel industry jobs. That went away. High crime rate, high poverty rate, and empty, falling down buildings everywhere. I used to live in Chicago and would avoid Gary when traveling at all cost."
Each city is different. What works for some might not be what works for others.
However, it does feel like some of these cities need to be at the top of your "Never Visit" list, don't they?
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Sex is fun. Sex is healthy. Sex should be enjoyed and always consensual. But often, sex can be dangerous, especially when you're trying out new things, like a new location.
Who hasn't thought about upping the adrenaline ante when it comes to sexytime? We've all been there. But some ideas really should just stay ideas.
Why break a hip or an arm just to make things a little more saucy? Just try a different room in the house, or the backyard, but bring bug spray.
And some areas in public are safety hazards for a reason.
Redditor u/playfulinvestment01 wanted to know about all the places we need to avoid when it's sexytime, by asking:
What is the worst place you had sex?
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy
"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed OffPiano Performing GIFGiphy
"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy
"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy
"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.
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Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.