People Who Live In Seclusion Share The Creepiest Things They've Witnessed[rebelmouse-image 18353395 is_animated_gif=
Not a lot of people like to be alone. That may be why podcasts are all the rage right now. Having voices in your ear all day is comforting for those with long commutes or who work at home. But, there are people who enjoy the solitude, like camping, or are forced to serve in lonesome situations, like if you're in the Navy on a submarine. Many of these people took to Reddit to answer user, r/EndlessRunaway, who asked:
Redditors who spend a lot of time in seclusion (at sea, in the air or out in the wilderness) what's the creepiest or most mysterious thing you've seen, found or experienced?
Most Dangerous Game[rebelmouse-image 18358018 is_animated_gif=
On a two week solo backpacking trip I had four days in seclusion between Ranger Station check ins. On the first day of the seclusion; I felt like I was being stalked. As I lay in my tent that night I could hear what sounded to me like footsteps around my camp but never coming too close. In the morning I checked all around and found no evidence of footprints or having any wild life around me. I broke down camp and took off trying to put it behind me.
The second night was the same thing. I grew so paranoid that when I would hike during the day I would go over rocks, walk through streams; anything to try and break the trail so I couldn't be tracked. I'd go around a blind turn and than sit there for an hour waiting to see if something would come behind. At night I couldn't sleep for more than 10/15 minutes before waking up.
Finally I got to the Ranger Station check in and told them what I had been experiencing. I went and set up camp as close to the station as I could. Later the Rangers; they offered for me to sleep on their couch for comfort and so I could actually sleep. I accepted and stayed the night indoors.
I walked out to my camp in the morning and it had been destroyed. My tent was cut on the side, sleeping bag ripped and backpack turned inside out. The Rangers came and reported it; took pictures and everything. I ended up getting one of the Rangers to give me a ride back to base camp and going home the next day.
Ghost Ship[rebelmouse-image 18358019 is_animated_gif=
While on deployment my ship found a ship adrift off the coast of Australia. As an engineer trained for vbss I was tasked with assessing the ships mechanical status on boarding.
It was deserted. Fish in the hold and stuff set out like people were just there. There was food on the galley area that was still warm, etc.
We never found the crew so we towed the boat in for the authorities.
Absolutely scared the f--- out of people and those who didn't board the ship didn't believe us when we were telling them about the state of it.
Not The Men In Black You Wanted[rebelmouse-image 18358020 is_animated_gif=
My fiance and I went hiking up a mountain in the Pacific Northwest last summer. It's perpetually muddy due to a large number of waterfalls along the sides of the trail, so there's no way you can avoid getting at least a little dirty.
Around an hour and a half up the trail, we passed two men wearing black suits, black hats, black glasses, holding black leather briefcases and wearing black dress shoes. Completely clean dress shoes. And immaculately clean, pressed pants. Not a spot of dirt or a wrinkle on either of their clothes.
As we passed each other, one of them whispered something in German. I looked back at them and they were both standing still and looking back at us, staring.
One of the creepiest things that has ever happened to me, and I've had my fair share of strange experiences!
Sometimes The Cold War Was A Bit Warmer For Everyone Else[rebelmouse-image 18358021 is_animated_gif=
Hearing the faint sonar pings from the Russian subs in the middle of the night out in the Baltic Sea
Commander! Target That Floating Plant[rebelmouse-image 18358022 is_animated_gif=
I was never really in seclusion, but I was a US Navy submariner. One time through the periscope, I saw a potted plant on a plank floating in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, several hundred miles from the nearest land.
Are You Sure It Wasn't Bigfoot?[rebelmouse-image 18358023 is_animated_gif=
I was in a remote area surveying populations of various organisms in mountain streams. One morning an older man crossed the stream I was standing in. We both froze for a second and he continued on his way.
He didn't have any gear with him and it's a 15-20 mile hike from the nearest (dirt) road. My point is he wasn't just casually wandering through.
Keep Your Cool Around The Cartel[rebelmouse-image 18358024 is_animated_gif=
So I worked at a ranch in southern Arizona, right on the border. I didn't really consider it to be secluded because I had horses and cows. In hindsight, I guess it was really lonely because sometimes they'd talk back to me.
Anyways, doing fence borders with a guy from another camp and we had to go down into this dry river bed. As we round the bend we see a bunch of beat up trucks sitting there armed to the teeth. Turns out we ran into some kind of big deal for a cartel. The other guy told me to keep steady and we just walked straight through them on our horses. Everyone staring at us, looking like they were ready to shoot us up if we made one false move.
I asked about it when we got to the other side without turning into swiss cheese and the more experienced rancher told me: "The Cartel only cares about Border Patrol and Cops. They know this is a ranch, and they know we roam around here, and they know we don't say much." Reason being, if they ever assumed the ranchers were the snitches, they could easily find our little ranch houses. Only had 1 person to so many acres. Could have been offed and left there for many days before someone noticed. With all that in mind, I had a very passive relationship with those kind from then on.
What's That In The Ocean?[rebelmouse-image 18358025 is_animated_gif=
I was on a the bow of a sailboat crossing the Atlantic in pretty heavy winds, going about 15 knots. Crew had to be stationed alone on the bow in two hour shifts at all times, keeping an eye out for anything in the water. About 10 meters away from me I see a weird glint in the water. Then I realize it's a partially submerged shipping container. Before I had time to even open my mouth, we passed it by, missing it by a few feet.
And that's the story of how I nearly got shipwrecked in a storm in the middle of the Atlantic ocean.
The Biggest Cat You've Ever Seen[rebelmouse-image 18358027 is_animated_gif=
When I was a scout in Iraq, I was setting up a concealed observation post when we saw the largest cat through our thermals. Like Lion/Cheetah/Leopard (the thermals were fuzzy, but we could identify size based on distance with the laser range finder)
The thing is all three of those animals used to live in Iraq - but they have been LONG since extinct in the area.
Former 68W with 3 combat tours, I might be able to explain this for you.
During Saddam's reign him and his friends were crazy wealthy. Like richer than God wealthy. Often times they'd be so wealthy they'd start running out of expensive s--- to buy. Seems like once they had the big houses and fancy cars they'd just buy crazy s--- like gold toilets (seen it), gold guns (also seen it) and even sometimes large animals of prey (vultures, falcons, tigers etc).
The thing is, when Saddam fell, so did a lot of his friends. I've heard stories of the house staff of a lot of these people not wanting the animals to be killed when looters ransacked the estates of the uber wealthy. Instead they'd release the animals. I guess they thought the animals had a better chance of survival on their own.
That's what we were told by our 1st Sergeant(he could've been f---in w us) Still crazy.
It's Your Best Beaver Friend[rebelmouse-image 18347973 is_animated_gif=
While out fishing i became good friends with a fat beaver. He chilled next to me while i fished for about 2 hours. Just watching me cast and catch fish. We watched an osprey dive into the lake and get a bass which was an amazing moment. When the sun started setting he sauntered back into the lake and we went our separate ways. The best fishing experience i had so far.
Learn The Lesson: Never Get Out Of The Car[rebelmouse-image 18357275 is_animated_gif=
Driving through the middle of Montana one night, going about 100mph, passed something on the side of the interstate that looks like a mangled body. Turned around at the next pass, came back. Definitely a body. Put my lights on it and tried to call 911 on my cell. No reception. Got in the car to see if i could pick up cell reception (lights were still on)...nothing there but the blood splatters. Drove away QUICK
Roll Em' Up![rebelmouse-image 18358028 is_animated_gif=
Several years ago I was fly fishing in late February and stumbled on two guys disposing of a human body. The ground was still frozen so they opted to hide the body in a drainage pipe at the base of a dam. Needless to say I did a complete 180 turn while muttered something to myself like, " Jesus is it cold! Impossible to fish in these conditions." And made a somewhat chaotic bee line back to my car. When I looked back I could see them peeking out from behind a tree, so I followed the imortal words of Saint Clark W. Griswold and, " Rolled em up."
A few weeks later I saw those same familiar faces, but this time under a news headline saying that they had been charged with murder.
Asleep At The Mast[rebelmouse-image 18358030 is_animated_gif=
On a small sailing boat in the Pacific, sailing south from Panama to Ecuador in the middle of the night. Two people on deck -- the helmsman and me, theoretically on lookout but really just there to keep the helmsman awake. It's well after midnight and we're away from major shipping lanes...
...And then I see a light off the port bow. It's far off and distant and under the sail, and therefore hard to keep track of, but it's there. It isn't moving. And it seems to flicker and dim but gradually I become aware it's getting a little brighter, bit by bit. And then I realise it's a boat, and it's coming right for us, and by this time I can hear the engine and I yell to the helmsman: "Hard a-port."...
...So we steer to the left, and the oncoming boat passes on the starboard bow. It's less than 10 metres away, a big RIB with a massive outboard engine at the back traveling at full throttle. There's enough light from the moon and our running lights to see that there's only one person aboard, slumped upright over the steering column, and a load of fishing equipment in the back. Then it's gone into the night, still travelling straight at maximum speed.
This was over ten years ago. To this day I have no idea if that midnight fisherman was alive or dead, if he'd fallen asleep at the wheel or suffered a sudden heart attack or what...
...I still wonder sometimes.
Best Pickup System, Ever[rebelmouse-image 18358031 is_animated_gif=
I went on a two and a half week long hike in the middle of nowhere Nevada. Like a couple of hours from even the smallest of towns. One night, I decided to set up camp on a ridge line overlooking a valley with a dirt road bisecting it.
Most nights I would've had a small fire, but it was breezy and was cutting across the ridge pretty hard. I think the weather saved my life.
At about 10pm, a truck drove down the road and there was a rhythmic pattern of "door opens, dome light comes on, driver grabs something from the passenger floorboard, drops it out of the truck, closes the door, drives slowly for 20 seconds, and repeats." He did that for what looked like a mile. I thought it was weird, but whatever. 15 minutes later, a different vehicle, a suburban, drive up along the road. The driver was holding a flashlight out the window and stopped in the same spots the truck did. Open door. Pick up something. Close door. Drive. Open door. Pick up something. Drive.
I don't know what the f--- it was, but I'm convinced that I would've ended up with a couple more bullets in me than I'd like, if I had that camp fire.
Check In To The Taxidermy Hotel[rebelmouse-image 18358032 is_animated_gif=
I was living in a dirt floor cabin for about 6 months. I would pack a lunch and hike out half a day in random directions. One day I found an abandoned hotel with an attic full of bats. The old kitchen was full of taxidermy.
Not abandoned old taxidermy...current taxidermy, in various states of finish.
There was a closet with stacks of dead birds, tools, woodworking tools and glass for the display cases, etc. I noped out of there in a hurry. I took my brother there later because he didn't believe me...so I have a witness.
Bambi's A Creep?[rebelmouse-image 18358033 is_animated_gif=
I was 13 and on a week long camping trip. There were two adults and five other kids my age. One night we had spent all day kayaking and got caught in a deluge that threw off our whole schedule for the day. We couldn't quite make it to the location where we were supposed set up camp for the night before sunset so we just settled a few meters off of the river. We were so exhausted that the adults didn't even want to build a fire. Since we didn't have much light and it was hot they told us that we didn't have to build our shelters we could just lay out in our sleeping bags.
Everyone put their sleeping bags near a clearing that was created by a fell tree. But I saw the hole created by the roots and thought that there were possible creepy crawlies living in it. So I set my sleeping bag a little further back about four meters away from the clearing. I woke up a few hours later to these rapid clicking sounds and sniffing. (Thanks to the Internet I later identified it as deer noises.) There were a bunch of them. The clicking grew closer and was surrounded me on all sides. I had my flashlight but I didn't want to shine it because I was afraid to scare the deer/creatures because I thought they would trample me.
The most vocal deer then stepped on my sleeping bag and eventually sat down on it. I could hear the other deer get comfortable too. After a while I allow myself to peak out (not wearing my glasses) and I see maybe 15 deer/creatures all just watching the other campers. After several hours I fell asleep and woke back up as they were leaving at sunrise.
It was wholesome/creepy.
Check Your Watches[rebelmouse-image 18358034 is_animated_gif=
Three of us were sitting around a campfire on a bluff overlooking Bell Lake in Killarney Provincial Park, when suddenly there was a blinding flash that lit up the entire sky. We were stunned. After several moments of silence, one guy said, "everyone check your watches." To this day, none of us have any idea what that flash was, but we all saw it, and it freaked us out pretty good.
Finding A Gruesome Surprise[rebelmouse-image 18358036 is_animated_gif=
So, I rode my horse the ~2 miles through the deep woods to get to this house, which is itself probably 1000 feet from a lonely gravel road that cuts through the forest. It is very secluded and almost creepy. The house is about 3 miles from a paved road.
I am less brave than I used to be, so when I entered the house I felt out-of-place and slightly scared. But I used my cell phone light to explore the rooms anyway. A lot was just as I remembered, but right as I was about to leave, I found a calf skeleton in the corner of the entry room.
I have no idea how this calf got shut up inside the building. The doors were firmly shut when I approached it. Also, the screen door opened one way, while the actual door opened the other, so that it was impossible for both to be open at once for some creature to accidentally wander in. Furthermore, the nearest cow pastures are a good bit away from the house.
I left the abandoned house with the image in my head of some deviant cruelly trapping a calf in there for sick purposes.
Stalked By Ronald[rebelmouse-image 18358037 is_animated_gif=
This happened once while camping with my then-fiance and a friend of ours. Camped out in the woods in the middle of nowhere on a hot July day. Night came, and it was a full moon so around midnight we decided we'd take a hike around for fun. We basically hiked a trail for a bit and then turned around and hiked it back to the campsite. When we were almost back, we saw a McDonalds cup sitting at the edge of the path. I found this strange as I didn't see the bright red and yellow container when we began the venture, but whatever. However, my buddy decided to open the cup up and found ice cubes at the bottom.
That day was easily 90+F and at night it was still in the high 70's, so that ice would not have lasted long. Somebody was definitely out there by us and we never found another sign of them. No sound of a car, walking or rustling - nothing.
We decided to pack up and go home that night.
It's Your Best Wolf Bro[rebelmouse-image 18358038 is_animated_gif=
More mysterious than creepy. We were camping in Montana near Yellowstone park in a small campground. It was the off season and there were maybe 5 other people there, including a couple 3-4 spots down who had a large dog with them in their RV. I walked by and the dog was friendly so I petted it and talked to it and went on my way.
Later that night I am sitting watching the sun set and reading on my Kindle when a cold nose bumps up under my arm, like dog does when it wants attention. I figured it was the dog and started scratching its head. Before i could look around, my friend came around the corner and froze with a look of fright on his face. I was scratching the head of a pretty big grey wolf. I had no idea what to do, I didnt want to keep touching it but I didnt want to stop and piss it off either. I scratched for maybe 5-10 more seconds and it just looked at me like "Thanks, bro" and walked off into the woods. We went to a hotel that night...
And The Winner...[rebelmouse-image 18345055 is_animated_gif=
I live in the only house down a country road, everything else is pasture land and National Forest for several miles.
About 3am, my three large dogs go absolutely nuts barking, which sends my husband and i flying out of bed to check on our livestock, assuming coyotes were in the yard.
Before we could even get our shoes on, we hear muttering on our front porch. He grabs his rifle and whoever it is starts knocking on the door, with no real urgency but more like a casual visitor. I had my cellphone already dialing the cops, and my husband slid up to the peephole. A woman right around her late 20s-early 30s was standing outside, patiently waiting a few minutes and gently knocking on the door, not fidgeting or nervous, not being aggressive.
My husband said, "Ma'am, the cops are on the way. If you need help, they'll be here in just a few minutes and you're welcome to sit on the swing right there and wait on them, but if there's anyone with you, we are armed in here and will not hesitate to shoot if anyone tries getting into this house."
He said she kind of smiled, not creepy but like she was glad her knocking woke someone up. "That's okay, sir-i just wanted to let you know the thing in the woods is coming, and he'll be here soon. Good luck."
He said she turned around and walked down the driveway like she hadn't a care in the world. The cops looked all over the place and couldn't find her. It's a ten minute drive to our driveway from the main road, with no houses until you get into town, another 20 minutes away. Freaked me out for weeks.
Christmas is upon us. It's time to get those Christmas present lists together.
So... who has been naughty and who has been nice?
Who is getting diamonds and who is getting coal? Yuck, coal. Is that even a thing anymore? Who even started that idea?
There has to be some funnier or more "for the times" type of "you've been naughty" stocking stuffer.
I feel like the statement coal used to make is kind of last century at this point.
Apparently I'm not alone in this thinking.
Case in point...
Redditor rallfreedom wanted us to update Santa's deliveries for the children on the naughty list, they asked:
"Since Santa is old, and coal was considered worthless back in the day, what new worthless item could Santa give to naughty children in 2021?"
If you really wanted to set me off on Christmas morning, then you should leave me something personalized. Something you how I'd hate. Like a cassette tape of 80's Christian soft rock. That would make a statement of just how naughty I've been.
What a DifferenceBlockbuster GIF by Big Potato GamesGiphy
"Blockbuster gift cards." ~ GamerOfGods33
"And still no one will shop at the one franchise location still open." ~ pesto_trap_god
"AOL Internet discs... (actually getting rare these days)." ~ whorton59
"After collecting enough of those AOL discs, I just open a bottle of Tennessee whiskey and make AOL disc fish wall art." ~ ExRockstar
"I wish I still had the picture, but my friend passed onto me a photo of a chair (more like a throne, if I recall) made entirely of AOL discs." ~ PM_MeYourSmilingFace
"Outdated phone chargers." ~ TheBrotherhoods
"A correct phone charger for the device, but it only works in one very specific angle and charges the phone super slow." ~ Karl_the_stingray
"People rave about how good old Nokias were but they forget that if you went up a version like you got upgraded to a 3310 from a 3210 then all your chargers were now something like 0.25mm too small and you had to buy all new ones." ~ erroneousbosh
"We currently misinterpreted what 'naughty kids get coal' originally meant. For a poor family in December, coal was the difference between warmth and freezing, hot food and not. 'Coal' was not something mean. It was like socks, now." ~ adaza
"Exactly. If the child was selfless, they would get a personal gift as a reward. If the child was selfish, they instead would get a gift to be shared with the family, forcing them to be more altruistic." ~ MoobyTheGoldenSock
Necessities...toilet paper help GIFGiphy
"Toilet paper. Just like coal, it's something the whole house needs and will use but is going to be bought anyway. It's also consumable and practical just like coal." ~ NeverGetaSpaceship
I could still use toilet paper. You never know when society is gonna go off into the deep end again and buy it all up. Remember the beginning of Covid?
Spinfidget GIF by Future GenerationsGiphy
"Idk why but I feel like fidget spinners would be pretty infuriating to the masses of children as something that still counts as a gift but is for sure a let down & past trend." ~ mmaster42
Way back when...
"An "Introduction to Windows 95" book." ~ Actual_grass
"There's one of those package shipping stores near me that sells all kinds of miscellaneous stuff. Anything to make a buck. They have a carousel stand with laminated sheets containing tips on how to use various computer programs. Still for sale as of last week: 'Shortcut keys for Windows XP' and 'Tips for using Microsoft Word 2010.'" ~ dartdoug
"He could give kids one of the old cables that was collected over the years but wasn't thrown away because it could need it at some point." ~ CaptWeirdBeard
"I have a tupperware tote full of those things. I'll sell it to Santa for scap value of the copper. You hear that Santa? $5 and it's all yours." ~ GreatJanitor
"A rotary phone." ~ cannotbefaded
"My Grandma had a rotary phone she kept(still worked so why not) as well as having a cordless phone. Had a relative that wanted to use the rotary phone the one time just to use it instead, decided they didn't want to do that again." ~ golden_fli
"Okay, I actually like rotary phones. I was young enough to remember using rotary phones and preferred using them to touch tone phones. Only because it was fun to spin the dial and watch it spin back into place." ~ GreatJanitor
So close...ronald mcdonald mcdonalds GIFGiphy
"McDonald's toys from 2 years ago. Old enough to not be popular trends, but new enough to not be collector's items." ~ GavinSnowe
McDonald's still has toys? Who knew? And those fidget spinners, how did anyone ever enjoy those? That would set me off as well.
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I admit, I love my stuffed animals. They're the best.
Some of them have been with me for years and I have them proudly displayed in different spots around my apartment. And when I've packed them for a move, I've done so with all the tender loving care I can muster.
What is it about them that stirs up these feelings?
Believe it or not, it's quite possible to form emotional attachments to inanimate objects!
People told us all about their own feelings after Redditor MoneySquare5734 asked the online community:
"People of Reddit, what weird sympathies do you have towards inanimate objects?"
"Computers when someone's throwing a fit or tantrum over something like a game lag, buffering or general software issues. Like dude, get angry at the real cause not the hardware thats essentially just the messenger."
We really mistreat our hardware sometimes, don't we? Going to apologize to my computer now.
"I think we're okay now..."
"I once slapped my iPad when it was being slow, then instinctively hugged it and apologised afterwards. I think we’re okay now but the level of trust definitely isn’t what it used to be."
Serves you right! You have a lot to make up for!
"I have way too much emotion..."
"I have way too much emotion invested in my Roomba. Especially as I only have one charging station, so when it's running in my living room/hallway, it can never get back to base as there's a step in the way."
"Usually feel guilty when I come home and find it stuck in some corner, knowing that it literally ran until exhaustion trying to find its home."
I do not have a Roomba but my friend has one and I think he has the opposite reaction. I think he mistreats his!
"All my dollar bills..."
"All my dollar bills need to face up in my wallet, otherwise I get the feeling those Georges and Lincolns are uncomfortable."
I think I do this too. I did not ask to be attacked like this.
"If I see..."
"If I see a really ugly plush toy at a thrift store, I feel compelled to buy it because I feel like it will just get thrown away. So now I have quite a few ugly plushies. I love them."
Aww, they now have a home with you and they must be so happy!
"I guess in general..."
"Abandoned toys. I guess in general I just feel so bad for any inanimate object that is no longer serving its purpose."
How many toys end up in the dump each year, I wonder? And how many of them are plotting their revenge as we speak?
"So I transferred everything..."
"I got a new cellphone not too long ago. So I transfered everything to my new phone but I didn't turn off the old phone afterward."
"This happened late on a Sunday and the next morning my old phone still rang to wake me up and I was somewhat sad that it still thought it was my current phone and that it still had the duty to wake me in the morning."
The feelings this stirred up... I did not know it was possible to feel this way!
"I am very appreciative..."
"Sometimes I give my car a pat on the dashboard and say thank you. It has carried me so many thousands of miles and i am safe. I am very appreciative of its hard work."
Aww. I don't have a car, but I get this! And your car appreciates YOU!
"When I was a kid..."
"When I was a kid I spent a whole afternoon feeding pebbles to a small drain outside my house because I thought it was hungry."
Okay, this is cute – and totally something a little kid would do!
"There's a thing I call..."
"There’s a thing I call 'mechanical empathy.' If you emotionally attach to your bike or car you’ll be kinder and more gentle to it."
"Some people are really rough on cars and other machinery, it’s painful to drive with them."
I was in a car recently with a driver who got a bad case of road rage and just slammed her hands on the dashboard whenever she was upset. That poor car!
Who knew we could feel so attached to the inanimate objects around us? Humans are fascinating creatures. We're capable of a lot of love and empathy, even for the smallest things.
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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They say your 30's hits different, like one day you're young a hopeful and the next day you're just WAY too old for this.
What is the "this" you're suddenly too old for?
No idea. It's different for everyone, but make no mistake, it'll happen to you too.
Maybe it already has?
Reddit user BMA1500 asked:
"What sh*t are you too old for?"
Let's take a look at how "too old" hit these Reddit users.
"Arguing with ignorant people on the internet."
"I have no patience or bandwidth to argue with random a-holes on social. Learned that lesson a long time ago."
"Too many fakes and bots now anyway. I am pretty much a 'read only' user of other platforms and only share opinions in person on polarizing issues."
"Petty games while talking to a potential partner."
"Just be straight up and real with me. Tricks are for kids."
"I've always felt this way."
"I remember when one of my girls explained the concept of 'playing hard to get' to me and I was annoyed just hearing it."
"If I have to chase you, that means you’re running away, and I don’t have time for that. If you seem uninterested, I’ll take it on the chin and leave you alone."
"If you like me just say that. If you don’t like me just say that. It’s not hard and moves the process along much faster."
"If you text me and I’m free, I’m going to text back. I’m not going to wait three hours for aesthetic purposes."
"The list goes on."
Cut That Out
"This sounds like some Instagram motivational sh*t, but spending time around people that I genuinely don't like or who make me unhappy and uncomfortable."
"There's so short of a time we have on this Earth and it just hit me right before I turned 30 that I spent a ton of that time with people who I thought sucked."
"I cut that out and I'm much happier."
"I realized this at my cousins wedding. I had a family member walk up to me flat out call me ugly, fat and say that I wasn’t the “good” family guy anymore."
"What!?!? Why would you even say that?? And they said it with a smile on their face the whole time..."
"After that night I haven’t spoken to them in 2 years and I’m super happy! I’m too f*cking old to be dealing with that nonsense for the rest of my life."
"It takes days to recover now, and most bad hangovers come with an existential crisis attached."
"When I was young I remember times I'd have a day off from work and be like 'Hell yeah, I'm gonna get trashed and play video games all night it's gonna be great!' "
"Now it's like "Great, I'm 3 drinks in and I'm just tired & have heart burn.' "
"It's not the same."
"I used to work 12-9pm, party the entire night. And then be back to work like a pro."
"If this was a Friday, partying used to resume Saturday afternoon. That was my early 20s."
"In my 30s now, and I wait for Fridays so that I can be dead on my bed the entire Saturday."
"The existential crisis is the worst. Just lying there wondering what the hell you are doing with your life, what came to this and when you are going to grow out of it."
"Then it passes and life goes on."
"General admission tickets. My old ass requires a reserved seat."
"Hahaha… last gen admission show I went to I had to find a 'comfortable' wall to lean on."
"When it comes to music festivals, the wife and I go for VIP just so we can get fancier washrooms and shorter lines at the food trucks."
"I agree but, man, it makes feel like I’m a spectator at at a concert and not part of the real party down on the floor."
"There comes an age when you have to consider... 'Do I really care what kind of clickbait sh*t my high school friends who I never talk to and never will see, likes?' "
"I only had Facebook because it helped with socializing in college/high school, but afterwards it's really hard to want to add new friends because they can see your history, and you can too."
"Honestly, the only reason why I have a Facebook is because I still have my mom as my friend and she passed 4 years ago."
"Every time I go on there, I'm tired now."
"I deleted Facebook three years ago."
"Found out all my Marine Corps buddies were either total idiots, painfully stereotypical post-9/11 veterans, ill-informed political junkies, and mostly people I haven't had anything to do with in years."
"Moving or helping other people move. Just no."
"I've moved a lot of times and have helped many people move."
"One of the best decisions I've ever made was hiring movers. 300 bucks for the big stuff is money extremely well spent."
"I've broken my body helping people move because I'm the 'young and strong guy' in the friend group. Way too many times now. F*ck that sh*t, hire movers."
"I can agree with this."
"I used to work as a mover for a couple summers and I don't even want to move myself lmao."
Not The Cool Old Guy
"I told myself when I get older I need to be open minded and not the close minded grumpy old man..."
"Then I see all these obviously staged videos and corny dancing/lip syncing stuff and realize it’s inevitable I am not gonna be the cool old guy."
"I have this exact same process with TikTok."
"I think to myself, 'I’m really the bitter old woman I said I would never be, aren’t I?' Lol"
"I’ve downloaded TikTok at least 3 times and deleted it almost immediately."
"I am drawing a line at TikTok. I’m old."
Since We're Talking About TikTok...
"When Macy's Thanksgiving Parade performers are introduced as "TikTok sensation" without any other credentials worth mentioning."
"I think the only performer I knew yesterday was Kelly Rowland because of Destiny’s Child."
"My google search history is full of my confusion."
"Oh man I’m so glad we missed the parade then. Maybe I’m just too old but that would’ve been cringe."
Why Are We Screaming?
"People (mainly young girls) who scream for no reason."
"I understand if you're terrified of something, but screaming when you meet up with your friends or just when the situation does not call for it makes me SO mad. I find it so infuriating."
"Just shut up. Lol."
"My kids learned a very long time ago not to scream like that. I hate excessive loud noise in any environment, but it’s especially nerve wracking in close quarters."
"My Mother-in-Law will have a dinner every so often for the family to get together. My husbands brother’s kids are so freaking annoying like this."
"We’re having pizza? Scream."
"We’re baking cookies? Scream."
"Someone found you in hide and seek? Scream."
"I’ve been too old for that since I was 6. Shit was ALWAYS annoying."
Real talk, apparently I'm *very* old going by the stuff on this list.
I'm gonna need to go sit with that for a bit... let me go turn on the seat warmer so my bones aren't stiff when I stand up later.
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Do all mothers go to the say mom school or something? Because they seem to share the same advice or go on the same platitudes, don't they?
Here's an idea.
Maybe they're just older, have more experience, and are trying to keep us from being dumbasses in public. At least, that's what I think.
I'm definitely grateful for my mother's advice—it's saved me more than once—and it seems many out there are too. And they all seem to have heard the same things from their mothers, too.
Any of these sound familiar? They probably do, and we heard all about them after Redditor lame_excuses asked the online community,
"What are some things all moms say?"
"I'll go first..."
"I'll go first: 'So if your friend jumped off a cliff would you jump off too?"
Okay, my mother did not say this, but all my friends' mothers did.
"We have fun."
"My mom always made me put on a coat when we went outside, even if I wasn't cold, simply because she was cold."
"Now that I'm an adult, she no longer tells me this but instead I complain about being cold and ask, indignantly, why no one told me to put in a coat."
"We have fun."
I want a documentary crew to follow you both around. It'd be hilarious.
"I credit George Carlin for all of these."
"When you lose something."
- Have you tried looking for it?
- Have you looked everywhere?
- Well, it didn't just get up and walk away.
"I credit George Carlin for all of these."
George Carlin knew what he was talking about. RIP.
"You know Glynis? She's your aunt's mother-in-law's close friend. Anyway, she died last week."
"I have eyes..."
"I have eyes in the back of my head."
"My mom used to say that to my sister and I so we wouldn't be sneaky behind her back. One day she was washing the dishes and I came up behind her with my two fingers and poked her right where I assumed her back eyes would be. She shouted, 'Ouch!' I believed her for years!!"
I was convinced of this too! Damn, my mother was good.
"I had some friends over..."
"I had some friends over when I was a teenager, and I bet them I could get my mom to say the word 'food.'"
"Hey, mom, what's for dinner?"
"Worked every time."
You both clearly planned this!
"When at the billing counter..."
"When at the billing counter every mom has the maternal instinct to say - 'Just stay in the line, I need to go grab a few more things.'"
This is my mother.
How many times have I dealt with this?!
“It’s because you didn’t drink enough water."
BUT I DO!!
"If you have siblings..."
"If you have other siblings and they’re trying to yell at you they will call you by all your other siblings' names before they get to yours. Usually starting with the oldest and working their way backwards."
Good thing my family was small!
"My Mum used to use it all the time..."
"'Soon.'" An indeterminate time frame from 5 minutes to several hours. My Mum used to use it all the time to deflect stupid questions like 'When is dinner?'"
"Answer: she always, always served it around 6 pm."
It's true! My mother would do this – and still does this. And we definitely don't eat as early as that!
Confirmed: All mothers meet for the annual mother convention to say all–and I do mean ALL–of these things to their kids.
Anything missing, though? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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