The job hunt is a daunting challenge. We all just want a career that we enjoy and that pays well. It sounds simple enough, however it is anything but. One of the first golden rules you're told when starting out on the career path race is never tell a lie. It's breaking a commandment so don't risk it. Never lie because nine times out of ten you'll be exposed. But that leaves that one time when it all works out. So nine times out of ten we all take a risk and fib a bit. The degrees of success vary.
Redditor u/herbgreencalledit wondered how telling a few fibs over the course of life worked out on the career path.... People who have lied on their resume and got the job, what did you lie about and how did it eventually turn out?
It's just IT... not rocket science...
I used to work in a petrol station. And a new owner took over. He brought in a new computer to do his accounting and I helped him carry it from his car. So on my C.V. I proudly listed my achievements as "assisted with the installation of the back office system." I now head up the IT department for a large company. umaer1234
I put a trivial lie on my resume. I took guitar lessons for 2-3 years, starting when I was like 6 years old. When interviewing for my current job in 1997, I had on my resume that I played guitar. I hadn't actually played guitar in over 15 years. One guy that interviewed me was very much into guitar and started asking me questions about it. I worked very hard to change the subject, which thankfully he went with. Hoffur
Sit right back and you'll hear a tale...Giphy
This is an opposite story… When I was hiring a lead coder for my company, I was so sick and tired of getting resumes from people that were literally filled with bull, that I turned into a game for my own personal amusement. I got a resume that the gentleman listed he spoke 11 languages… One of them, was Swahili. I knew three words of Swahili ( I had learned how to say "release the prisoners" in Swahili from an episode of Gilligan's island [onyesha wapangaji]!!
I called him in, and set up an interview in my office. Sure enough, when he came in, I tested him and his Swahili, with my brief phrase, and sure as hell, he spoke Swahili! I ended up hiring him, and he was the best coder I have ever hired without a doubt! I never would have called him for the interview had I not absolutely thought he was full of s**t! Puppyismycat
A couple years ago, I was filling out a resume for a lab tech job on some job board. It had a pop up that required you to answer some questions before sending the application, basic stuff like "Are you at least 18," etc. It was pretty obviously a questionnaire to root unqualified candidates out before the resume was looked at by a human.
The last question was, "Do you have prior experience in chemistry?" I didn't, but checked the box anyway. I figured it was the only way to get a human being to look at my resume, and if they called me out on it in the interview, I'd own up to lying. Worst case scenario, I'm back where I started.
I get to the interview, and it's a panel interview in front of three PhD chemists. They ask me about my specific chemistry experience, specifically Ochem, which is what they cared about. Given that the sciences tend to have some friendly competition, I figured I'd play to my audience. I said, "Well, I don't have any, but I have a degree in physics and in my opinion that's even better so really you guys are getting a deal."
They loved my answer and said that even though I wasn't strictly qualified, they thought I'd be a great "culture fit." I've been working there as a chemist for a little over two years. Still don't know crap about organic chemistry. fat_doofus
Less than the basics....
I said I spoke basic Spanish. Didn't get asked about it. Got to my new office and a good 2/3 of the employees were Hispanic/Spanish/Latinx and our sister site was in Spain. Everyone assumed I couldn't speak a word of Spanish and would explain what things like "vamos" and "claro" meant and would encourage me to try. I did speak /some/ Spanish (though "basic" might be stretching it) so I got to mildly impress my coworkers while my boss apparently completely forgot what my resume said. PureMitten
Juggling the dates....
So, I have successfully lied about the duration and work of previous posts. I've never lied about actually working at those places, but I have definitely gotten fired from one place without updating my LinkedIn or resume, so that when I got hired at the next place, they thought I had basically closed the door on the last position and moved right in to the new one. Jedifice
Rapid fire fingers....
I'm not trying to humblebrag or brag or anything but I am fairly fast But if I put 110 wpm on my resume I get "Nah! there's no way you can type that fast!" For some reason if I say I type 95 wpm people are like "WOW that's cool you can type so fast!" Saywihee
My grandfather lied about being a nuclear specialist in the Air Force to get a job at a civilian reactor. He was actually a radar tech. He worked there for 14 years and it never melted down so I guess it worked out just fine. spicytacocat
Lost in Translation....
I'm studying translation and interpretation as a minor. I applied for a student job that involved translating and although I didn't have any actual experience in translation at that time I lied that I had translated plenty of text from various topics. I also added that I could translate mechanical texts. They asked for proof so my mechanical engineer brother wrote me a fake justification from his company. I got the job but they didn't tell me at the beginning that i was only a temporal job for only one occasion. Lord-AG
Google Saves Lives....Giphy
My Excel skills...... honestly, any time I need to use Excel, I just google whatever function I need. AllyCarrollynn
Sing Out Bjork....
Told her I was fluent in german. It wasn't even relevant to the job nor the whole interview, but she told me that being fluent in english wasn't impressive anymore nowadays (her english was pretty bad, ironically). So I told her that, took her by surprise for a bit before asking me to describe my day in german. So i recited Rammstein lyrics (from Reise Reise, my favorite song of theirs) confidently. I got the job. I was so glad that a) she didn't check the correct translation, and b) she never asked for more demonstrations all throughout my staying there.
My backup plan was Icelandic (I could sing Sigur Ros' Staralfur verbatim mwahaha) but thought that might be too extreme. aalleepphh
A Decent Run....
Not me, but I had a friend who lied about his work experience and got a job with Hewlett-Packard. The thing was he was super smart and knowledgeable about computers, so he was capable of doing the job they hired him for. He worked for them for maybe 4 or 5 years and it was a really sweet gig, especially for someone right out of high school - corporate housing, car, free meals in the cafeteria, all kinds of crazy perks because this was before the tech industry got saturated and his skills were in demand (it was maybe 1995 or so).
They eventually found out and fired him, but it was a pretty good run for a 19-year-old kid with no higher education. FearlessLingonberry
Not me, but a friend named Mike who's a teacher. Mike was struggling to find a teaching job in his school board, so he convinced a successful teacher friend of his to help with Mike's resume. His successful friend forwarded a copy of his resume to Mike, with the intention that Mike could use the formatting, and learn the kind of teacher-speak that he used to get a job. Well, Mike simply changes the name at the top of the resume to his own, and saves the file. He ends up getting a ton of interviews because successful friend had a killer set of experiences and degrees. One of the interviewers asks who is "Successful Friend?" His name is on the file name of your resume. Mike backpedals, saying that he only used successful friend's resume formatting, and Mike gets the job.
This was about 4 years ago, and Mike is still going strong (at hating everything about teaching, but that's for a different thread). WhiskeyDickens
Watch the Count!
I lied about being an inventory manager for my previous club when I applied for a job at a new nightclub that had just opened up (My only previous experience was barbacking.) Even faked an email from my previous boss confirming it.
I got the job, did amazing at it, everyone loved me... but was fired 6 months later because I discovered that the AzBar spouts were pouring 10% too much on the rail bottles, costing the club about 5 grand a week. Never mind the Hennessy XO pouring doubles on every pour.
I spent an entire week recalibrating every station in the club (there were about 40) and then went and explained to the boss what I had done, and why and since I'd just worked about 70 hours in the past week fixing the stations, I was going to take a week off. I mentioned that if I had done it right they wouldn't have any missing booze at the end of the week.
When I came back, they took me aside and explained that I was being let go, because during the week I was gone, it was the first week they weren't missing about 5 grand worth of alcohol, so I must have been stealing it. Stupid_question_bot
Too much, too fast...Giphy
I applied for the college program at Disney and you get a catch-all phone interview for every department you express interest in. I expressed interest in almost everything, cause I was like, increases my chances, right? And I acted like I was this bada** that could handle anything in the phone interview.
I was assigned to the hot dog restaurant on Main Street. And no, I could not handle anything. childishinquiry
It's not what it looks like....
Self-employed, but as a service provider so need to provide a CV to clients. Wasn't getting many jobs, so I lied about having a degree. (Immediately got at least double the replies.)
Nobody checked, ever. Have photoshopped one for the few clients that want a digital copy. It's hard to remember which year I said I graduated and which place (since I just picked an easy-to-photoshop one) but I rarely get asked. Studying for an MA now (accepted on industry experience) so I leave the fake BA off the CV now and add my MA and expected graduation date. himit
Just keep a heavy pour....
I lied about being a bartender. Said I worked at all kinds of restaurants around Australia figuring they wouldn't fact check me from the U.S. All jobs give you a little training to get familiar with what is going on so I just had to be focused and learn very quickly. They would ask me to make pretty basic drinks and if I didn't have time to google it without them seeing I would just say "how do you make yours? I want to keep the drinks consistent for the regulars." They would show me and I would write it down. Eventually I was on my own on a Friday night and oh man was it tough. When I was really screwing up I would Just make it extra strong and a lot of people didn't mind as much. All in all it worked out and I stayed 2 years. Strobeezy
Things I lied about on my resume:
I worked with a guy who clearly lied about having excel experience. It was discovered in the first 10min of training when he started asking how to make very basic updates to cells. He lasted 5 weeks which was 5 weeks too long. Reddit
Seems like everyone lies about being experienced with Excel and most people suck a** with it. Very annoying in the office (no pun intended) environment. Have_Another_Comma
Experience IS Education....
I never completed college. But every position I was applying for at the time needed a BA and like 5 years experience.
So I lied. Sure, I "graduated" from Penn State. Now most companies doesn't really follow thru with the background check, so they asked to see my diploma.
I've been a graphic artist for over 15 years, so I did my research, gathered my source material, made myself a diploma, framed it, hung it on my wall and sent them a photo. And the job was mine!
They never found out. I still have that "diploma" in my closet, next to all my sketch pads. Reddit