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People Who Have Watched Someone's Sanity Slowly Deteriorate Share Their Stories

People Who Have Watched Someone's Sanity Slowly Deteriorate Share Their Stories
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Perhaps the hardest thing about watching someone's mental health deteriorate is the inability to say good-bye. If the person was someone you knew well, it can be so terrible watching the individual you once knew slip away that you don't even think about telling them how you truly feel until it's too late.

Then, unfortunately, that person you once knew is no longer there.


Reddit user, u/DestroyedbymybigPP, wanted to know:

When did you watch someone's sanity slowly deteriorate?

Protect Adults From The Internet

My mom started going to online blogs and web-radio shows about ghosts, aliens, conspiracies and took it all at face value. I saw my normal mom turn into a complete, gullible ignoramus in a matter of months. Nobody could talk to her without her bringing up FEMA death camps, potential economic collapse, aliens, antivax or Obama signing more executive orders than any president in history. Her friends thought she might have a brain tumor. She didn't.

She did have cancer she was hiding/ignoring that ended up killing her bc she thought cancer wasn't real. This is what happens to lonely people that are looking for a connection...they'll believe anything just to feel that they are a part of something. It was very sad that she was so unbearable the last couple years of her life.

7AutomaticDevine7

My (ex) best friend over the course of this past year has gone from a normal - well adjusted woman who held down a full time job and a VERY nice apartment to constantly being online and talking about how humans are just slaves to an alien race that lives on mars and how reality doesn't exist and If she died none of it would matter because reality doesn't exist...

I don't talk to her anymore because if I said anything in opposition, she would lose her sh-t on me... very different from the kind, compassionate woman I was best friends with for 4 years. I miss her every day.

Disclaimer: I know she's doing well, she has a great familial support system and other friends that agree with her beliefs, I just couldn't be one of them anymore.

We can't force someone into help if they don't want to be helped.

happybunnybb

Still Going Strong, But Maybe She Shouldn't Be

My grandmother as she went into alzheimer's. Use to be very active in the community and always helpful. When I was young remember doing meals on wheels with her for the old folks around town along with helping/hanging at the senior center.

Now she barely remembers who I am or where she is. Even so much as to lash out at people. I wish to have my grandma back I basically grew up with due to my mother working so much to take care and raise us. She is a shadow now of her former self and can't even hold a convo or even move out of her bed. She now is taken care of by family 24/7 which is so far away from the independent person she use to be. Never asking for help but always offering it.

Still going at 93 right now but not the same person I know. Sometimes I consider her already passed as she is so far away from what she use to be. Guess it is how we all go in the end...

ak_n3tgh0st

"What am I supposed to do with this?"

I'm a nurse and I had this patient once who was diagnosed with a brain tumor. We came everyday to help him get dressed and cleaned up and everything. His wife told us he was a very well educated man who cared a lot about how he looked. He used to shave every day. So I handed him his razor and his shaving cream one morning. He just looked at me and said 'what am i supposed to do with this?'

He didn't remember how to do it. I will never forget how he looked at himself in the mirror, it was like he didn't even recognize himself

He went to a hospice a day later and he didn't even understand why.

idc2407

An Obsession Becomes Unhealthy

I was in high school and my best friend went from a normal guy who we would smoke occasionally, listen to music and have fun. It went to this obsession with a girl that clearly has no interest in him. He would literally stalk her, try to win her over. At the same time, he wasn't keeping up with hygiene and went from a decent student to a poor performer.

I told my parents everything that was going on. His parents were extremely well educated but weren't doing anything about his behaviors. My parents talked to his and they took it serious after hearing about the thoughts of self harm. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Nearly 40 years later, he still doesn't look the same. Really sad situation. I still miss him.

Stuntedatpuberty

Challenging When It's Your Own Father

My father. Whole family suffers with mental illness, this combined with his rough childhood made him a generally slightly unstable person. He was prescribed the wrong meds, for depression and the minor issues we were having progressed over 9 months to mania and psychosis, having episodes which would have to call the police. Couldn't get help and he ended up moving out after breaking my nose and not remembering.

I've been through a lot but those 9 months were some of the worst because I could do nothing but watch as I was just a kid and had to watch the father I love turn into a horrible person who I hated but pitied at the same time. He become verbally abusive, imagined things, and forgot everything, very confused with life and forgot most things, making up stories where he didn't remember. Not only was it his downfall but also the downfall of the family

waddlepenguinmaster

A Little Different Each Time

When I was 15, I had this boyfriend that had a disease which made his mind and memory deteriorate as well as physically his joints stopped working (I don't remember what it's called...) I remember watching him go to surgery constantly.... And it felt like with every surgery, and with every dosage of pain meds he got angrier and angrier.... And loved me, and life, less and less.

trhowabay

Staying Strong For Years, Until You No Longer Can

My grandma...she grew up in a pretty poor area in Portugal, her and my grandfather built a restaurant from scratch and it became very successful.

Now she's almost 90, battled cancer and now has Alzheimer's. My grandfather passed away last year, and now she's all alone (my aunt that lives in Portugal takes good care of her), but what's really breaking my heart is when we call and she will repeat the same things over and over again, she was an amazing chef and the restaurant became popular because of her meals, and now she tried to fry yogurt as she thinks that's how you do it.

She cannot remember basic tasks, and very recently she did not recognise my sister, which our grandmother raised for about 10 years.

It's sad, seeing someone so strong and full of life...forgot how to do basic things, our minds are amazing but once they go...f-ck man.

yoohereiam

Shifting Careers

I watched my ex wife slowly spiral down and I didn't even realize it. She was never really "stable" and had a family history of mental illness. Apparently she started cheating on me and never had the strength to tell me or get a divorce and the constant lying and being on edge that I would find out at any minute really got to her (this was over the course of a year). Towards the end she would "rock" every time she sat and bit her nails till they bled. Currently she is maxed out on a host of meds and it takes everything she has to got to work as a janitor and come home. Her father is her "guardian" and helps her pay bills and stuff.

She often denies past events or alters them if they were unpleasant (she is very adamant that they are real). Her father broke down and told me this a month ago and actually recommend that I not encourage our kids to visit her (I would never prevent them from seeing their mother). So in the course of a of 5 years she went from a fit dental hygienist with a promising career and host of friends to an overweight janitor with no friends who can't even pay her own rent or buy groceries. I do admire her for going to work every day and trying.

gimme3strokes

No More World Domination

Watched my grandfather slowly sink into Alzheimer's. By the end he didn't know my name or his own. He was sad and angry and confused. I watched every week as he forgot a little more. Got a little more belligerent. A little more lost. Until one day I walked in and he started screaming that someone was there to rob him. It was the saddest f-cking thing I've ever seen.

I have such vivid memories of watching him and my uncles have such animated debates about politics and movies and sports. They used to play Risk until the sun came up listening to Sinatra. He would sit and explain every single play in a baseball game to me as a kid. He was sharp as f-ck and the saddest and hardest part was watching the struggle on his face to remember. The frustration he felt. Like he was letting us down. I miss him a lot.

C-ntyMcGiggles

A Meteoric Descent

My younger brother died from a drug overdose last month. He used for the first time in march. In 7 short months I watched my best friend become someone I didn't recognize, someone I couldn't even hold a conversation with anymore. It wasn't a slow deterioration, it was a meteoric descent into a drug fuelled madness.

He lied about anything and everything, even things that made zero sense to lie about, used nicknames from our childhood that we hadn't used in years, would forget what we were talking about mid-conversation. It was like he was replaced with a near identical but slightly off version of my brother. It was and still is heart breaking. I mourn him but at the end I didn't know him anymore.

Turkeybaconisheresy

When It Takes An Illness To Form A Bond

My sister passed away earlier this year and she was sick for a long time. During the last few months you could tell that it was becoming harder for her to think and respond. Paradoxically it actually made her a lot nicer to me. We had never had a great relationship and I always believed she hated me but during those last few months she said very few unkind things to me. It was hard to know that the only time we ever really got along was right before she passed away.

Natrl20

From Thoughts To Scribbles

I worked in a care facility for people who suffer from dementia.

This was a very rewarding and enjoyable job but at times it could be confronting and sad, as you'd expect. One story that stuck with me was this lady who'd write in her booklet and always left it open. She didn't care to keep it a secret or anything but I would make sure to keep personal posessions private as much as I could while cleaning the rooms. So I'd close the little book and put it in her desk where she could find it.

It's something I could relate to. I have my own little books and enjoy writing as well and appreciate it when people respect my privacy.

I wouldn't read the contents but I saw the phrases go from sentences, to repeated words, to scribbles. Eventually, she became too confused to put pen to paper. Opening and closing the booklet, carefully touching the paper, but she couldn't quite figure it out anymore. Eventually giving up.

This really hit home to me, as I knew how therapeutic it could be to organise your thoughts on paper. I write when I'm sad or overwhelmed. The thought of her being unable to when she might have needed the outlet still stings.

LevelJoy

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Small Slights That Made People Feel Majorly Betrayed By Their Significant Other

Reddit user _Halboro_ asked: 'What was something fairly small that made you feel betrayed by your SO?'

a man and a woman walking in the desert

NEOM on Unsplash

When you're in a relationship, the things your significant other—or sig-O—does hit different.

Teasing remarks you'd laugh off from friends can feel like a knife in the heart when your romantic partner says it.

Minor slights can easily become major issues in your relationship if you feel vulnerable.

Keep reading...Show less

There's this ongoing, universal joke that no one reads user's manuals for new items, so often items aren't built or used quite the way they were intended.

But some products, whether there's a user's manual involved or not, will be used for activities that they were in no way designed for.

Redditor OfficialDampSquid asked:

"What product is rarely used for its intended purpose?"

Clothespins

"Clothespins have spent years keeping bags of chips closed in my house, not a minute hanging up clothes."

- jpiro

"Great in the shop as mini clamps, specifically when gluing the linings to acoustic guitars."

- Fluffy-Anything-5528

Free Parking Corner

"The corner that says FREE PARKING on the Monopoly board."

- DanielleAntenucci

"I don’t know one single person who plays that game correctly. It’s insane how house rules caught on and became almost universal."

- Dr_broadnoodle

Cotton Swaps

"I’ll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I use a Q-Tip correctly."

- PM_DEGRADING

"95 percent for cleaning electronics. Five percent for cleaning your ears."

- Fried-Pig-Dogs

Bubble Wrap

"Bubble wrap. It was invented as a wallpaper in the 1950s."

- fuzzysarge

"Just mist down your windows with plain water and the bubble wrap just sticks by itself."

"I didn't know this trick when I had to make a bathroom more private. As a stopgap, I just sprayed the windows with fake Christmas snow."

- RedditZamak

For Surgical Purposes

"K-Y Jelly was originally developed as a surgical lubricant."

- JiveChicken00

Fixes Everything

"Duct tape. Works on everything but ducts. (They make a special tape for that, and it’s not called duct tape.)"

- ImpliedSlashS

From War to Screen Doors

"WD-40 was originally created to stop nuclear missiles from rusting."

- ShoopufJockey

Great for Kids Crafts

"I want to say pool noodles. I see a new craft for them weekly and rarely see them actually in a pool."

- gigieileen

Baking Powder Uses

"Not 'rarely used' per se, but the amount of baking powder not used for baking things is quite high."

- DayOk6350

"You can use it to instantly set super glue and create a stronger bond that is as hard as plastic and nowhere near as brittle as a regular superglue bonding."

- Happy-Personality-23

The Question Is In the Name

"Glove compartment in a car. Who actually has gloves in them? I think they are a throwback to when people had driving gloves."

- Urbanredneck2

Yardstick Purpose

"Yardsticks."

- procrastinatorsuprem

"When I was in school, all the teacher ever used it for was to smack the chalkboard to get everybody's attention when the class was acting up."

- Rich_handsome

"We use it to push the button on the smoke alarm, get spider webs on the ceiling, and every once in a while measure how deep a snow storm is."

- procrastinatorsuprem

Treadmill... Closets

"Treadmills at home."

"Or any exercising equipment at home... ends up being a clothes holder."

- shubidoobie

Mouths Instead

"Listerine was originally sold as a floor cleaner."

- mtgkajhit

"Listerine was one of those products which was marketed to do literally anything to do with clearing."

"It was also used as a medical antiseptic during surgery."

- Woffingshire

Great for Crafts

"Pipe cleaners."

"Does that count if they’re called “chenille stems”, brightly colored, and for sale alongside kids’ craft supplies?"

"Because if that does count, so should Play-Doh. It was originally invented to clean wallpaper, but once kids started playing with it (it had been nontoxic from the beginning IIRC) they changed the marketing and sold it in lots of colors."

- DBSeamZ

Cell Phones

"Mobile phones, used for anything, except for making phone calls."

- FatCat_85

"Mobile phones are used for their intended purposes, but that purpose has just changed over time."

- Reddit

These products are all a great example of how products can have multiple purposes, which technically means we can have fewer items in our homes, which means fewer things to clean!

And if cleaning the floor is a concern, apparently we can use the Listerine... while brushing our teeth. Who knew?

Stacked burger
Lefteris kallergis/GettyImages

The food industry is highly competitive with restaurants duking it out to stay relevant.

They do this by presenting diners a spin or a gimmick on classic entrees.

While some eateries succeed by a wide margin, many fail by coming up with bizarre dishes that may seem inventive but fall flat on the palate.

This just goes to show that you shouldn't mess with what already works. But playing it safe is just bad for business, though. Right?

Well, customers chimed in when RedditorFremblem_Feldsher asked:

"What is the most overrated dish in the world?"

Some people thought gourmet burgers were all hype and in bad taste.

Bigger Isn't Better

"'Gourmet' burgers. You pay top dollar and get a burger that's difficult to eat (stacked to high and falls apart) and where there's so much attention to toppings you can hardly taste the beef and cheese."

"Anything made with truffle oil gets an honorable mention."

– Treantmonk

Too Many Toppings

"$18, tall, stacked, giant burgers slathered in fifteen different condiments and toppings. They're hard to eat and usually not as good as a simple burger."

– hiro111

"Burgers should be wider not taller. I don't want to take a single bite only to lose half the toppings from the other side."

– ProphetOfPhil

Not Lovin' It

"Knife and fork burgers are bullsh*t. I hate the feeling of having to rush through eating my burger because my hands and gave are slathered in sauce."

"If it's stacked and/or messy af, it's not a good burger, even if it tastes good. It's some kind of knife and fork entree but definitely not a burger."

– FictionalContext

Sometimes people want something sweet without going over the top.

Identity Crisis

"It’s not a dish, but those milkshakes that you see that have chocolate all over the glass and a giant piece of cake on top. Ruins the milkshake with the crumbs mixing into it, and honestly could of put the cake on a plate and let us eat it normally".

– Meckles94

Dough-Not Want It

"Donuts from places known for 'cRaZy' donuts. The most 'extreme' donuts I’ve ever had were the most mediocre. They tasted like somebody put stale cereal on top of grocery store donuts."

– cppadam

Behind The Scenes

"I work with a guy whose wife runs her own bakery. He told me that most of the places selling donuts these days don't actually make their own donuts. They buy pre-made dough that is uncooked. Then the places doctor them up. Hence, the stale cereal on grocery store donuts taste. It's because that's exactly what they are."

"Apparently, making multiple types of all homemade donuts is a lot of work. I go to a Mennonite bakery at a farmers market who make all of their own stuff, dough and all. They are legit working from before they open until after they close."

– qotsa_gibs

A Big Twist...And Not The Glazed Kind

"There's a place in Niagara Falls called Country Fresh Donuts and they've got some of the best donuts I've ever had. Their long johns are the stars of the show, but their other donuts are also super good."

"Big twist? They excel at wonton soup. Anyone who goes there goes for the soup first, donuts later. It helps that they're open 24 hours a day (or, they were at one point). 3am wonton soup and a donut is mana from heaven."

– SimonCallahan

Mini Cakes

"Cupcakes during their 2009-2014 reign of terror."

– JonathanWattsAuthor

"With the icing piled so high it would go up your nose"

– Live_Reindeer7833

Not everyone fancies a fancy meal.

History Of Lobster

"Lobsters used to be peasant food - they literally fed it to prisoners. It's weird how things change, but like most things it just comes down to supply and demand."

"Lobster is quite hard to farm so, although it's not a hard-to-come-by food unless you're very far from the sea, there is still a bit more effort required in producing them. Couple that with their image as a 'luxury' seafood, which increases demand, and you get high prices."

– fantalemon

Not Worth The Hype

"Any steak from Salt Bae’s restaurants."

– WishboneCrazy9289

"Controversial but I think steak in general is overrated. I love steak and have some really good servings in nice places but I still think it isn’t as good as people go on about."

– itsyaboigreg

How Posh

"Expensive food with gold shavings. What's that about? Do you eat it to feel rich and powerful or something? I'm sure gold doesn't taste very good and is not normally supposed to be eaten."

– thegreatc*msl*t

"You can buy the gold foil on its own and it's cheaper than you'd expect (still expensive)"

"After trying on on its own, I can say gold is one of the lower ranking metals that I've tasted. Silver, stainless steel, and titanium all taste better. I'd put gold in the same tier as copper, above aluminum."

"Edit: to explain how I know this, someone asked me for advice on different types of silverware and I had to try it out myself before recommending anything. The copper is an exception as that was a dare."

– Notbbupdate

I see the appeal for Instagramming food, but if the beautiful food items photographed in portrait mode are making me salivate, they better deliver on my taste buds.

I actually patronized a diner that advertised an amazing pancake dish that had caramel sauce with crushed pecan and whipped cream. The idea looked better on paper.

When I order the breakfast delight in question, it looked nothing like how it was pictured. It was flat, messy, and undesirable.

And of course it tasted horrible. I was a sucker for that damn Instagram post.

Sometimes food is all hype. That's the worst kind, especially if you're a sucker like me and you fall for it.

As children, when we saw grown-ups behave in certain ways, we more than likely promised ourselves we would never be like them.

That we would never lose our temper at minor things, groan over the slightest ache in our bodies, or choose work over fun.

However, when adulthood creeps up on us, certain things about the person you become you have little to no control over.

As a result, you might find yourself screaming at children for being too noisy or going to bed at 9:15 instead of seeing a midnight screening of your favorite movie and realizing that you have become the very thing you've been trying to avoid your entire life.

Redditor UglyLikeCaillou was curious to hear what type of person the Reddit community ended up becoming, despite vowing they wouldn't, leading them to ask:

"What type of person did you swear to never turn into growing up, but did anyway?"

Letting It Out Can Ease The Pain...

"The one that makes noises when I get up off the floor."- tutohooto

The Wise Know The Vital Importance Of Being Silly

"I swore I’d never stop being goofy."

"That I’d always try to find the positive and wouldn’t give up hope."

"But then life happened."

"It’s hard staying an emotionally sensitive and caring person when so many people are just plain mean."- Lucky_Garbage5537

It's Possible, Even In A Room Full Of People...

"I never thought I would grow up to be so lonely, but here I am."- oldbaldgrumpy

Sad Season 2 GIF by FriendsGiphy

Temper Temper...

"An angry person."

"Life and people are just too much all the time."-Jumpy-Air-3385

Some Call It Frugal, Others Call It Cheap....

"The kind that put something back cause the store brand was 20 cents cheaper."- penndelnj

A Far Too Common Occurrence

"I never thought I'd live paycheck to paycheck by my age."

"I thought I'd be on my way to being financially independent by now, in fact."

"It's always been my goal, I was willing to work so hard from such a young age and never scared to make sacrifices but unfortunately my people-reader is skewed and all I ever really got was taken advantage of."

"It's not too late, I'm smarter now and I'll get there."- FriendCountZero

2 Chainz Pockets GIF by MOST EXPENSIVESTGiphy

Working Hard For The Money...

"A corporate slave."- lapdanze

"My dad was an engineer and I vowed to never be like him in any way."

"Growing up, I always said over my dead body would i become a corporate slave chained to a desk."

"Guess who is a desk jockey engineer now."- Lame_usernames_left

Watch Your Mouth!

"If my child self met my adult self, he’d tell me that I shouldn’t say so many bad words."- BarthRevan

The Apple Doesn't Fall Very Far From The Tree...

"My dad."- PolarBearChuck

"The most relatable one, nobody wants to become their parents, it’s horrible (unless you have good parents)."- Fine-Macaroon-3202

season 2 episode 6 GIFGiphy

The Comfort Of Your Own Home...

"A homebody."

"In my early 20’s I would never miss an opportunity to go out on Thurs, Friday, or Sat night and couldn’t understand why my parents would ‘waste’ a perfectly good weekend night, just to stay home."

"Now I get it. MAN, do I get it."

Derogatory Term, Or Term Of Endearment?

"I remember learning what a nerd was and thinking 'thank God I'm not a nerd' as I went home from school to play Pokemon Emerald and talk on Pokemon message boards about the upcoming Diamond and Pearl games."- hectoByte

Early To Bed, Early To Rise

"The dad that gets up at 4:30 am to exercise, and is ready for bed by 9 pm."- GreyPilgrim1973

Work Out Pain GIF by I Want You Back MovieGiphy

Beauty Comes In All Sizes...

"Overweight."

"Not super big, but not skinny anymore."- hoosierhiver

One Can Indeed Be The Loneliest Number...

"Crotchety, single old lady."

"I'm only sometimes crotchety, but I'm almost fifty and still single!"- GimmeUrNachos

Love What You Do! If You Can...

"An office drone."

"Redditing as we speak to avoid looking at yet another ghastly eyesore of a spreadsheet.'

"Why have we done this to ourselves as a civilization?"- onemanmelee

Still Waiting Office Tv GIF by The OfficeGiphy

Growing up can be scary, hence why we always promise ourselves we won't turn out a certain way.

Even so, some things about the type of person we grow up to be are completely out of our control.

And rather than bemoan our current situation, it's always best to embrace it and enjoy the precious time we have on Earth with our family and friends.

And maybe cut our parents a little slack for the behavior we judged them so harshly on as children...